What Does a Wedding Cost? (and Other Burning Questions) with Planner Jacquelyn Aleece

Summary

Girls Gotta Eat Episode Summary

Episode: What Does a Wedding Cost? (and Other Burning Questions) with Planner Jacquelyn Aleece
Date: September 29, 2025
Host: Dear Media
Participants: Ashley Hesseltine, Rayna Greenberg, and guest Jacquelyn Aleece

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Episode Overview

This episode is a deep dive into everything weddings with special guest and top wedding planner, Jacquelyn Aleece. Co-hosts Ashley Hesseltine and Rayna Greenberg blend humor and practical questions as they explore what it really takes (financially and emotionally) to plan a modern wedding—including budgets, trends, music, family drama, and how to avoid turning into a Bridezilla. Jacquelyn demystifies wedding planning, gives insider advice, and shares behind-the-scenes stories from her career, including how to decide what actually matters on the big day.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Ashley’s Wedding Journey and Life Updates

• Personal Wedding Milestones: Ashley reveals dates and sweet coincidences, such as her wedding celebrations starting on the anniversary of when she met her fiancé.
• Busy Social Calendar: Both co-hosts talk about the "second wave" of weddings in their 40s, travel, and hosting duties leading up to Ashley's wedding.
• Dress Drama: A detailed account of Ashley's wedding dress fitting saga, where a panic over a misfit turns into an emotional breakthrough after a dramatic morning Zoom with the London-based designer and a team of experts.
  • Quote: “Who is going to do this on the wedding day? Probably Jacqueline.” — Ashley [11:21]
  • Quote: “This whole time, I mean, it was a real tonal shift from the week before.” — Raina [12:57]

2. The Role and Value of a Wedding Planner

• Differences: Planner vs. Coordinator:
  • Planner: Handles everything from vision to execution, vendors, communications, and logistics for months/years.
  • Coordinator: Often day-of or month-of, bringing together a couple’s plans, but with significantly less ongoing input.
• Why Hire a Planner?
  • Expertise streamlines decision-making, manages stress, and negotiates with trusted vendors.
  • Quote: "When people plan their own weddings, they become wedding planners." — Ashley [15:10]

3. Budget Breakdown and Money Talk

• How Much Does a Wedding Cost?
  • Jacquelyn gives the classic T-shirt analogy: price varies immensely by location, style, guest count, and priorities.
  • Baseline for a “standard, upscale” 150-person wedding in a major city: budget approximately $1,000 per guest; i.e., $100,000 for 100 guests [47:08].
  • Quote: “Can I give one hard answer to everyone’s biggest question?... $1,000 a person, all in.” — Jacquelyn [47:23]
• Budget Tips:
  • Largest line item: venue + food + beverage (allocate 40%–50% max).
  • Biggest way to save: Reduce guest count. “You’re not moving the needle with candles instead of flowers. Only way you save significantly is fewer guests.” — Jacquelyn [52:00]
  • Invitations, decor, and some “details” can be deprioritized if needed (e.g., Ashley skips fancy invitations to save for florals).
  • Quote: “If you’re trying to cut your budget in half—cut your guest list in half.” — Jacquelyn [51:41]

4. Vendor Relationships, Commissions, and Transparency

• Flat Fee vs. Commission:
  • Jacquelyn’s approach: transparent, flat-fee pricing, never taking hidden commissions from vendors.
  • If a planner gets you discounts from preferred vendors, it's because of volume, not a hidden kickback.
  • Quote: “We do not take kickbacks—period. If a vendor offers my clients a discount, it’s because we bring them business, not so I can pocket a fee.” [41:10]

5. Venues: Types, Pitfalls, and Details

• Turnkey vs. Raw Space: “If you want a raw space, be prepared: every chair, generator, bathroom—you’re paying for it. It’s expensive!” — Jacquelyn [60:34]
• Carpeted Ballrooms:
  • Universal wedding planner PSA: carpets are the enemy of design.
  • If you’re stuck with it, “Lean into your carpet. If it’s green, do green linens. If it’s blue, do blue.” [31:11]
  • Quote: “Lean into your dusty carpet.” — Ashley [31:34]
• Chairs Matter:
  • The most underrated design element. “Chairs are everywhere in your photos—don’t skimp!” — Jacquelyn [62:48]

6. Trends, Traditions, and Personalization

• Trends to Avoid & Embrace:
  • Don’t go overboard with themes or “7,000 disco balls”—moderation is key.
  • Regional differences: New Jersey cocktail hours are “grotesque and amazing” with mountains of food; California is more minimalist [73:16].
  • Rising trend: Cocktail-style reception instead of formal sit-down dinners. More mingling, more fun, less formality.
    • Ashley is opting for this!
  • Quote: “I want it to feel like a party, not a stuffy formal program.” — Ashley [74:47]

7. Music: DJ or Band?

• Hot take: DJs are versatile and more professional than bands, according to Jacquelyn (with notable exceptions). Bands are pricey and often divas!
  • Quote: “I always say, I want to hear Beyoncé. That’s what I want to hear.” — Raina [56:29]

8. Family Drama, Conflict, and Therapist Duties

• Planners as Therapists:
  • Planners often have to mediate between couples and families, especially divorced parents/stepparents.
  • Quote: “The biggest conflicts are always the family. It’s always the family.” — Jacquelyn [78:46]
• Red Flags in Relationships:
  • When one partner has all the power and the other shrinks, it’s a sign of trouble. Jacquelyn has seen many couples split before the wedding.
  • Quote: “If you want to know if you’re marrying the right person, ask your wedding planner.” — Jacquelyn [81:33]

9. The Wedding Tax & Vendor Pricing

• Vendors charge based on experience and demand, not because it’s a “wedding.” Professionals cost more because they deliver under pressure, unlike “amateurs.”
• Quote: “A professional does this full time. Here are the prices. If it’s out of your budget, they’re just not your vendor.” – Jacquelyn [64:35]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Guest Experience:
  • “Staff appropriately. You’re hosting people, and you have to think about their experience—if you’re not, you’re not throwing a good wedding.” — Jacquelyn [49:02]
• On Planning Stress:
  • “Weddings either bring out the best or the worst in people.” — Jacquelyn [81:24]
• On Spouse Behavior:
  • (On bad signs during planning): “They kind of just seemed like they didn’t like each other... they just aren’t nice to each other and don’t have fun.” — Jacquelyn [83:36]
• On Cake-Smashing:
  • “If someone did that to me, we’d be divorced before we got married.” — Jacquelyn [85:22]
• On Outdoor Weddings:
  • “If it’s sunny and hot, you’re like [melting]... I’ve never been to an outdoor wedding that I was like, this was a great idea.” — Raina [66:44]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Ashley’s wedding buildup, social calendar, & dress misfit drama: [00:29–13:44]
• The role and necessity of a planner vs. coordinator: [22:22–26:39]
• Budget, cost per guest, and how to prioritize (the 'T-shirt analogy'): [42:13–47:23]
• Why reduce the guest list is the biggest budget hack: [51:19–52:22]
• Commission, transparency, and choosing vendors: [36:35–41:10]
• Venue selection, raw spaces, unexpected costs: [57:34–64:13]
• Chairs and design details matter most: [62:48–64:13]
• Trend talk: cocktail style vs. seated dinners: [71:06–74:47]
• Music: DJ vs. band and pros/cons: [56:02–57:27]
• Trouble signs in couples & family drama: [78:46–83:36]
• Drunk grooms, bridal party chaos, and wild wedding moments: [86:00–88:54]
• How much does a planner cost? [90:49–92:21]
• Coordinator vs. planner roles at the venue: [92:30–93:46]

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Closing Thoughts

This episode demystifies wedding planning—balancing the glam and humor with real, sometimes brutal, truths. Jacquelyn Aleece exposes the hidden costs, the emotional rollercoaster, and the glory of personalization, while the hosts keep things relatable and hilarious. The takeaways? Spend where it counts, don’t blindly follow trends, communicate openly, and if you can, work with a pro who actually listens to you (and maybe keeps your family away from open flames and microphones).

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Where to Find Jacquelyn Aleece

• Instagram: @theweddingplanandcompany
• Website: theweddingplanandcompany.com

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For anyone planning a wedding or just nosy about the behind-the-scenes chaos, this is your essential listen!

Transcript

[Jacqueline Elise]

First of all, if you want to know if you're marrying the right person, just ask your wedding planner.

[Raina Greenberg]

No, I'm.

[Jacqueline Elise]

No, I mean, I'm Diamond. Dead serious. This podcast is a Dear Media production.

[Raina Greenberg]

Hi, guys.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Hi, guys.

[Raina Greenberg]

Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Welcome back.

[Ashley Hess]

Wedding episode.

[Raina Greenberg]

Ashley, I'm so excited.

[Ashley Hess]

One month.

[Raina Greenberg]

Not my wedding, but I'm excited.

[Ashley Hess]

Really. One month till things pop off. So we are pretty much now, I guess, starting technically on the 29th of October, is that Wednesday with, like, close family that's coming into town. And it's not an official event, it's not on the itinerary, but people are probably gonna come to our house. And that is the day that I met him.

[Raina Greenberg]

Wait, that's crazy.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Isn't that crazy? What?

[Raina Greenberg]

We met on October.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I know.

[Ashley Hess]

Isn't that crazy? Like, there's these things keep coming up that we didn't even think about. I mean, this was the same thing as me realizing my best friend Corey and I have the. We're gonna have the same anniversary. Like, we met at the show in Boston on October 29, 2021, actually.

[Raina Greenberg]

That's. I'm, like, so shook by this. This is crazy.

[Ashley Hess]

And now, four years later, we're getting married, and that's when things are gonna kick off. I'm sorry.

[Raina Greenberg]

Really special. It's really special.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. So anyway, I don't like to make any plans.

[Raina Greenberg]

You've made all my plans for me this fall, and I love it.

[Ashley Hess]

I know you're just along for the ride. Lot.

[Raina Greenberg]

Bunch of bachelorettes. We're going to go for your special taping. Your wedding. I don't want to do all plans when your wedding's over.

[Ashley Hess]

Well, we have a couple other people getting married.

[Raina Greenberg]

Like, you know, I've been meaning to say this to you. I have more weddings this year and bachelorette parties than I ever have in.

[Jacqueline Elise]

My life at 40. I just.

[Raina Greenberg]

I've had a really different life trajectory than, like, the average person, so. Have you. Like, we have a lot of weddings this year.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. Oh, coming up.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, right. Like the fiscal year, like, from my stuff to, like.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yeah.

[Raina Greenberg]

We have Alyssa, Jenny just got married. My friend Sam. Like, all these bachelorette parties, it's kind of crazy. I mean, I really.

[Ashley Hess]

It's so fun.

[Raina Greenberg]

I had a great 30s that decade just unscathed by people's spouses or children.

[Ashley Hess]

It really is funny. It's the 20s and the 40s. It's the second wave for us, Taylor. Yeah. I'm saying it's like. But I love it because we don't have a lot of plans next year. Well, I don't.

[Raina Greenberg]

I'm.

[Ashley Hess]

You're going to make a plan. But I feel really free, like, with like, Alyssa's sister emailed about the Bachelorette. And I'm like, I can go anytime.

[Raina Greenberg]

Welcome to my life.

[Ashley Hess]

I told you it was like, fill out your dates. Anytime works.

[Raina Greenberg]

Isn't that crazy?

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yes.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah. That's been my year, the whole year. I don't.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I don't.

[Raina Greenberg]

I never know what city I'm going to be in. Day to day. I have so many people coming to stay with me. People are, can I stay at your house? I'm like, yeah, we're wide open.

[Ashley Hess]

It's fun. Yeah.

[Raina Greenberg]

All right, well, we'll take our partners and we'll get, like, right into it. But thank you to Smart Mouth. Get a special discount on your next Smart mouth [e-mail] GGE and Function, our first 1000 listeners get a $100 credit towards your [e-mail] GGE or use the.

[Ashley Hess]

Code GGE100 and thank you to Saks Fifth Avenue. Head to Saks Fifth Avenue or Saks.com for inspiring ways to elevate your personal style. So my fiance is leaving for his bachelor party and he hasn't traveled without me. Like, we've gone on a lot of trips together, but I'm always the one leaving and touring. And he stays with Azul and so he hasn't left me since he's moved in.

[Raina Greenberg]

That's insane.

[Ashley Hess]

I know.

[Raina Greenberg]

So sorry.

[Ashley Hess]

Or he's. If he's traveled, we've both been gone.

[Raina Greenberg]

Right.

[Ashley Hess]

So he has done stuff.

[Raina Greenberg]

You haven't been alone up in the house.

[Ashley Hess]

That's one point. I haven't slept in my bed alone since January 31st. I've been alone plenty on when I'm traveling. But, like, he hasn't left me alone in the home. Like, I always want to be with him and I, like, I miss him when I'm apart from him. I really just do love him so much. But, like, I am looking forward to being alone. I love being like, watching my tv. I only got two days of it. We're recording a little bit farther out. But I only have two days and then I'm. I'm leaving again. But it's just like, you know, I don't hate it.

[Raina Greenberg]

I love being alone. I realized you just hadn't been alone. I'm just always in the house doing something.

[Ashley Hess]

It is. Your life changes so drastically. This is Not a hot take. But to be alone all the time and then to never be alone, it's kind of nuts.

[Raina Greenberg]

I lived with two men all through my 20s. I was just never alone. I lived with a man in my 30s. I just. I love being alone.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, I mean, I love living with him. I know you do, but I'm gonna love to be alone also.

[Raina Greenberg]

I am actually about to have the opposite experience. My house is book and busy.

[Ashley Hess]

You are hosting an Airbnb.

[Raina Greenberg]

I really? Well, Jeremy is staying with me this week. And then Jackie comes. Then I'm leaving, and Jeremy and Jackie are staying at my house together.

[Ashley Hess]

But you are running a hostel out of that place.

[Raina Greenberg]

And then our other friend Jackie is staying with me. Andrew and Brenna are staying at my house. Jackie's gonna stay. Actually, we have two different. Jackie's staying. I have a constant. And everybody wants to come out for your wedding early. So, like, all of our friends are coming a lot of the weekend before. I've had three separate people, including one former couple, both asked to stay at my house. And I had to give priority to one of them because one of them asked first.

[Ashley Hess]

Rena, do you have a spreadsheet for this show?

[Raina Greenberg]

I started making notes about who's staying with me every single day.

[Ashley Hess]

I need to get the schedule too. Cause I want to be over there.

[Raina Greenberg]

Oh, and then my brother in law might come and then, oh, Melanie might come out and. Yeah, I have a lot of business.

[Ashley Hess]

A lot of this is crazy.

[Raina Greenberg]

Well, you know, I complain every single day that I have nothing to do in LA and I'm always alone, so.

[Ashley Hess]

It'S going to be fun.

[Raina Greenberg]

That's the answer.

[Jacqueline Elise]

It's going to be so fun.

[Ashley Hess]

So excited. Ugh, I love it.

[Raina Greenberg]

And we just booked your third bachelorette.

[Ashley Hess]

Okay. Yeah, I guess we are sharing all the wedding details today. Yeah. You guys knew I was gonna do three and you waffled and you canceled it a couple times.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I know.

[Raina Greenberg]

I was like, I'll get her back.

[Ashley Hess]

I don't know if I wanna do this. So, yeah, we are gonna go to Vegas. I wanted to go to Vegas. And it's so easy. Like, I was like, I can't add this to my plate. And then I was like, it is actually so easy. It is a quick flight. It's one night only. Staying in hotels, there's not like a house to check into. People are bringing decorations and food. I mean, the Dewey house was insane. The amount of like things that Lee and Corey brought into that house and then had to leave with you Know, and so this is just, like, so easy. I mean, it's get there, go to dinner, see the Chippendales, have a pajama party, room service, breakfast the next morning, and get the fuck home. Like, it's low lift.

[Raina Greenberg]

This is the real bachelorette party to me, because we take. Sorry to fire, but, I mean, Dewey, we go every summer, and so we're with this, like, amazing crew, but we do Dewey every summer. Vegas is.

[Ashley Hess]

I'm not going to co sign. So that's pretty much what's going on. I had, like, a dress update. Just, you know, a little. Little bit of tea. I picked up my dress, and, you know, you go to the boutique. We talked about it. You went. My mom Taylor was a really special time. And then you, you know, drop a bunch of stacks on this dress, and they take your measurements, and then you go back to pick it up months later. And they typically say, you will need more alterations. I think that typically means because a lot of brides lose weight and because I was like, what do you mean? I. You measured me. This better be made for my body. And I think a lot of people are like, yeah, but I'm still wanting to lose weight, and that just is not, like, really my story. I was like, this is probably gonna be my body when I pick it up. So I. I go to pick it up. I was so excited. I brought another friend, a Anoushka, who didn't get to go to the first appointment. And so she came with me. And I was expecting this, like, incredible, like, reveal. And I want to start by saying, like, I'm obsessed with the boutique, the designer, all the things. It just. We had a little bit of a mishap, which I'll share with you guys. So I put it on, and immediately I was like, it just is sitting a little different in terms of, like, the bodice and, like, where it sat on my hips. And I don't give too much away and, like, what the dress exactly looks like. But I was like, okay. But that's understandable. I tried on a sample size. It was a lot larger. They have to clamp it in the back. It wasn't made for me, so it's already kind of sitting up a little higher than I remember. And then as we really get into it, I was like, oh, my God. It's, like. Just does not fit. Like, it's too. The bust is so big, and it's up so high. It's, like, uncomfortable under my armpits. Like, I was, like, panicking and, like, I wanted to be so excited, but I walked out and you could feel my anxiety. Like Anoushka was like filming this. She's like, oh no. Like something, something's wrong. And I'm like, it's just not what I remember. It's not the, the way it's fitting and it's. I feel like it's not made for me, you know, I feel like it's. I can't wear this to get married in the way that it's kind of like digging into my like armpit fat, you know? And so we kind of. It was kind of like an all hands on deck situation. The manager came in and everyone's like, okay, like the designer is incredible and I'll share all this detail deals with you guys after the wedding. She'll fix it if something's wrong, of course, but we just want to make sure we know what the issue is. I went back the next day to take more measurements and they were wonderful, but I was like a little panicked, you know, like, was this custom made in the right way and do we need to send it back overseas where it got made and all these things? I came from London. It's like nothing crazy. And so we went back and forth trying to figure this out. Will alterations work? And they finally were like, come back in one more time and let's zoom with the designer. And so I. And like the owner was on it, the owner of the boutique. And I'd had a call with her. I mean, this was truly like in all hands. So I go in, I had to go to 8:30 in the morning because they're coming from. They're on. They're. They're from London.

[Raina Greenberg]

I couldn't believe you voiced me at like 10am and you'd already lived a whole day.

[Ashley Hess]

So I had to go in there, like 8 in the morning. Everyone's there. Like the manager, the owner, and then the designer, like this big deal wedding, wedding, like designer is on the zoom from London. And then she says to me, she's like, you know what? I've looked at all the photos, I've talked to everybody. I've seen the videos. And I just feel like this dress is not sitting on you the way that it was designed to and the way that you tried it on in the store. And I'm like, that's what I've been saying. I'm like, that's what I've been saying. And so she's like, let's hold it in place. Let's get it on your Body and let's reassess. You know, she's like, nobody did anything wrong, but I think they might have put it on you in not the right placement. It hiked up a little bit, and we had a whole situation. So I feel like it was so tense. I'm on the zoom with these people from London.

[Raina Greenberg]

Are you naked?

[Ashley Hess]

I had always wearing underwear. Like, I had on, like, a thong. And they did a few more measurements even prior to that, and it was just a whole thing. And so they. They put it on me, and I'm like, this time's gonna be different. I can feel it. And they sat it down where it's supposed to sit, and I'm like, that looks right. That looks right. That's the dress I bought. You know, my mom bought, and they kind of put it up. I didn't even mention two women are there from an alterations place. Like, I'm telling you, there's, like, over eight people total involved in this.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yes.

[Ashley Hess]

And I think they were like, we did this, right? We made this for you. We know what the fuck we're doing. Totally. I forgot that the two women there from, like, the number one bridal alterations boutique in Santa Monica, they're there, too.

[Raina Greenberg]

17 different measurements.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, exactly. They get it on me, and they're being, like, very careful with the way they lace up the corset. I'm like, oh, my God. Who is going to do this on the wedding day? Probably Jacqueline. And so I'm getting into it, and. And as it's, like, being buttoned up, everyone's like, we did it. It's right. It was made for her. The alterations people like, I wouldn't change a thing. They were like, we might bring the hem up, but this is perfect. Everyone is ranting Arabian. I'm crying. I was like, this is the moment I wanted to have two weeks ago. It's this whole thing. And again, like, I can't stress enough. Like, everyone has been so wonderful and making sure this is right. But it's crazy how just, like, the way it sits can change the whole way that the top is and the way that it's coming up on your body.

[Raina Greenberg]

I couldn't believe what you were saying to me. They put the dress on wrong, but.

[Jacqueline Elise]

It'S like, I hate to even say.

[Ashley Hess]

That, but it's just like, the designer was like, I made this to not really be where the bodice meets the skirt. It sits lower intentionally. And that's what I loved about it. I loved what it did for my body. So when it was put on me. It was just up higher and it took away from the. How she designed it. And then once they got on me correctly, it was like the top was like the way it's supposed to be. It's like more dramatic. It was comfortable, it fit. We're not doing anything to it. We're going to hem it up a little bit. They may. It's obviously super long. And once I figure out the heels that I am going to wear, then we'll do it. But like, I was like, oh, it.

[Raina Greenberg]

Doesn'T need any work.

[Ashley Hess]

Oh, okay. This whole time, I mean, it was.

[Raina Greenberg]

A real tonal shift from the week before.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I was freaking out.

[Raina Greenberg]

Of course you were.

[Ashley Hess]

And I knew they would make it right. I mean, you know, it's like you get what you pay for. You spend a lot of money on a custom made dress. They're gonna make sure you love it. But I was like, now the window is closing and the amount of time we have, we gotta send the ship back to London. They have to remake a corset. I mean, what are we doing here? And everyone was so wonderful. But. And you know, I'll talk about the designer more post wedding and stuff. Cause you guys like going on Instagram, probably find the dress and like, whatever. I don't want to gatekeep you guys, but you know, I'm trying to be a little.

[Raina Greenberg]

Fiance will go off.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, my fiance will find it. No, he doesn't care. It's hanging in our house. Like he's not looking at like a kid looking for his Christmas presents. Like he wants to be surprised too. But. Yeah, they fixed it. But I couldn't believe it. I was like, ra, you can't. I'm 8 in the morning. I'm on a zoom. There is like eight people here and I'm. Now I'm crying.

[Raina Greenberg]

I missed the crying moment. I feel sad about it.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Raina Greenberg]

Wait, speaking of your fiance, I had an idea for you. This is totally separate. But the egg prank that we've been talking about.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Well, what are you gonna.

[Ashley Hess]

He's gonna listen to this.

[Raina Greenberg]

Okay. Oh, he's gonna listen to this.

[Ashley Hess]

I think he's gonna listen to this. Cause it's about his wedding. Okay, we can say this now. I need to get it to his bachelor party.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Oh, my God.

[Raina Greenberg]

Wait, where is the bachelor party again? Is it a hotel or an Airbnb?

[Ashley Hess]

A big house.

[Jacqueline Elise]

We can.

[Raina Greenberg]

But can we.

[Ashley Hess]

I can't get it there in time. Well.

[Raina Greenberg]

Oh, damn it.

[Ashley Hess]

All right, we'll talk later about how we're gonna get it to his bachelor party. What if I was just like, whatever it costs, FedEx it, overnight it.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Overnight it.

[Ashley Hess]

I just don't trust a guy. They're gonna be like, what is this?

[Raina Greenberg]

You could send it to one of his friends.

[Ashley Hess]

I'm saying I don't trust. You know, I would trust. I feel like Justin would handle this and, like, see the humor in it, if anybody would.

[Raina Greenberg]

You're gonna overnight it there? I think it'd be funny to send it to your own house. Like it's a wedding gift. And he opens it.

[Ashley Hess]

I'm sending this to Maine.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Okay.

[Ashley Hess]

Today, I think that we have to 100% mail it to him.

[Raina Greenberg]

I feel like I'm just going to keep coming up with, like, insane ways that he could find.

[Ashley Hess]

I wish I would have thought of this earlier. All right, I got. I have to get it to his bachelor party.

[Raina Greenberg]

You know, Anything else going on, just do it.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, okay. Okay. Say less. Okay, well, like, you guys already know, we have my wedding planner today, and it is so fun. We could have talked to her for hours. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for her. I want to hype her before she comes in. I don't know how people do this alone. I was talking to a friend, and I was like, I can't believe people plan their weddings without a planner. And some people have, like, a day of or even a week of, or a month of, but, like, I can't imagine doing this without her. And Taylor, our friend, was like, when people plan their own weddings, they become wedding planners, you know, when they really have. Are able to do it. And again, every wedding is different. Mine has a multiple days, tons of details. You know, I think obviously there's weddings that are way more simple, but this, I cannot imagine this without her. And I never would have done it that way. Like, that was never something I was gonna do. But she's just been so incredible to work with her team. I mean, her ideas and her organization and her communication has been 10 out of 10 from the start. And it's just been an honor to work with her. She's the best of the best. I know. Like, I can't speak for every single person our team, but I know they are. I know anyone she would hire is going to have that, her level of perfection and talent. And so obviously, we'll talk about them today and you guys can check them out. And I think she's already gotten some inquiries and clients from me posting her on social and things like that, but I just can't recommend her and the wedding plan and co enough and it's like aside from my fiance, aside from you, it's like she's the most important person she's done the most. You know, like she made this happen and I had we talk about a little bit but I. I knew some things that I wanted, I knew some things that I didn't. But I had a sort of vision and she's really helped bring it to life and so man shout out to she's the best.

[Raina Greenberg]

No, I love her so much. And we had the best time recording with her and then we went out for drinks after and I just. I'm so crazy about her. I just love her so much and everything she's done.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. So you guys hope you enjoy it. Okay, I am going to tell you guys about smart mouth. I have been loving this. I have been using the toothpaste and the mouthwash. I wasn't even a mouthwash girly before this and I really have gotten into it. I mean I am a coffee drinker. I love me some garlic, you know, and I worry about my breath and I always wanted to be fresh. And smart mouth is the only mouthwash scientifically proven to give you 24 hours of fresh breath with just two rinses a day. Still got to brush your teeth more than that. 24 hours. You guys not going to take the place of that. But I really love that. The secret is their dual solution, smart zinc technology. As you pour the two solutions activate billions of zinc ions that instantly eliminate bad breath and keep it away all day. So it's backed by science. It's developed by the dentist who literally wrote the encyclopedia section on bad breath.

[Raina Greenberg]

That's crazy.

[Ashley Hess]

Can you imagine that as your credit? Like I am the encyclopedia. I wrote the encyclopedia on bad breath.

[Raina Greenberg]

I would crush it at parties.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yes.

[Ashley Hess]

Also though, it's like I'd be scared to talk to that person. They'd be judging me. So now it is even easier. They have a new snap top bottle for effortless convenience. So we are just such big fans of this and they sent us a bunch of different products and I've really been using them all. But I mean, the mouthwash is just second to none. I'm not going to name any names, but I've tried mouthwash in the past. I just don't like the taste. I don't like the feel. I don't know. I'm picky about toothpaste too. I don't like the aftertaste. And you know, some of the top Brands. I'm not going to name any names that are just like what everyone uses. I've never really been down with. And so I was using another brand that I've used pretty much my whole life and I've switched over to smart mouth and I'm using that now. And I'm just such a big fan. So if you guys are worried at all about your dental health, your breath, just really check it out. We love it so much. Never have bad breath again. Find Smart Mouth at Walgreens, Walmart and Amazon or visit smartmouth.com GGE to snag a special discount on your next smart mouth purchase. That is s m a r t m o u t h dot com GGE don't miss out on 24 hour fresh breath your mouth. Well, thank you.

[Raina Greenberg]

Okay. And function. I choose Function because it is the only health platform that gives me data most people never get and the insights to start doing something about it. So inside Function, you get access to test over 100 plus biomarkers. So that is from hormones to toxins to markers of heart health, inflammation and stress. And for an additional fee, you can also access MRI and chest CT scans, all tracked in one secure place over time. And that is a nearly 360 degree view to better see what's happening in your body. And that is why top health leaders are all behind Function Health. So this really is a great platform to just kind of figure out what is going on in your body at all times. And you know, as we're out in the world or in our homes, you really don't know always what's in the water you drink, the air you breath, fabrics you live in that you sleep in. And the environment can really leave a marker on your health. Ashley and I are always on planes and in hotels and I'm always just like, what's going on with me? Is it just like being alive or is something really wrong? And certain chemicals can affect the body over time, like mold exposure. But if you really want to get a handle on things like cholesterol, metabolism, thyroid dysfunction, immune responses, they have tests for all these things and a great platform that'll allow you to make better decisions. And there's tons of insights and suggestions and information for how to move forward and get healthy. So that is why we choose to use Function. We have scheduled it. Very excited to go take these tests and learn more by using our link. Function is a nearly 360 degree view to see what's happening in your body. And our first 1,000 listeners get a $100 credit towards their membership. Visit functionhealth.com GGE or use the code GGE100 at signup to own your health.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Okay.

[Ashley Hess]

And Saks Fifth Avenue. We always like to talk about what we're shopping for in the moment. And since we have a wedding episode today, I'm shopping for something I might want to change into at the end of the night. Like, I want to wear my wedding dress, like, most of the night. And at the end of the last hour, really turn up and change into, like, a little white dress. And so that's what I'm looking at. I'm love Saks. I mean, look at that one. Bronx and Bango. Actually, I'm obsessed.

[Raina Greenberg]

I know this dress very well, and I'm very obsessed with this dress.

[Ashley Hess]

I know. And, like, this styled. Everyone talks about styled. The brand, like, this sequined fringe mini dress.

[Raina Greenberg]

That reminds me, we have a friend that wore something kind of similar in red at her wedding.

[Ashley Hess]

Yes. I love that. Yeah, she changed into red for, like, the end of the night. And so that's what I'm looking. And just so many different price points. I mean, you can get Prada, obviously, at a higher price point, or you can find brands. I'm looking at this gorgeous dress right now from favorite daughter. It's 200 bucks, you know, so I think there's such a range, and you can really find everything you guys are looking for.

[Raina Greenberg]

There's a couple of websites. I just feel that, like, everybody is always in the same outfit all the time, and I'm just, like, looking for something a little different, totally in quality. So that's why I like Saks.

[Ashley Hess]

Yes. And just the range of designers and styles and price points and super, super trendy stuff and then also really classic stuff. You can just find it all. So we just love it and we just want to hammer it. Do you guys like Saks Sax? Like, think of it as your go to, especially if you're shopping for any sort of special occasion. So if you guys are like us and you are looking for anything to wear anywhere, shopping should be fun and easy. So you guys can head to Saks Fifth Avenue or Saks.com for inspiring ways to elevate your personal style every day. And let's get into it with Jacqueline.

[Raina Greenberg]

Okay, guys, we have somebody really, really special today. And to celebrate that, Ashley is going to do something for the first time that she has never done in seven and a half years. I'm going to let you introduce.

[Ashley Hess]

I am so excited to introduce you guys to Our guest today, she is the founder of the Wedding Plan and company, which plans extraordinary weddings top to bottom all over the world and has been featured in People magazine, Brides magazine today show, the knot in the Best of Weddings hall of Fame, and so much more. And she is also my wedding planner. Please welcome to the show, Jacqueline Elise.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here.

[Raina Greenberg]

We are so happy to have you here. And Ashley, you did.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I did.

[Ashley Hess]

You did really good. I've never done that.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I couldn't have asked for a better answer. Was it all nailed it?

[Ashley Hess]

Okay.

[Raina Greenberg]

No, you did great. And this makes you the most important person to Ashley that's ever come on this show.

[Ashley Hess]

I've never done that.

[Jacqueline Elise]

So honored. I don't even.

[Ashley Hess]

Did I even do my fiance when he came?

[Raina Greenberg]

No, I actually was thinking that this morning. I was like, I think I introduced him. Okay, so first question, on a scale of like, one to Bridezilla, where is Ashley?

[Jacqueline Elise]

Oh, my gosh. Literally like a zero. Like absolutely zero. No, I genuinely mean that.

[Raina Greenberg]

That's why we brought you here today.

[Ashley Hess]

I mean, yeah, we could talk about what kind of bride I am.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I mean, I think, listen, there's a really big difference between someone who knows what they like, knows what they want, has a vision and is smart and understands how to ask intelligent questions about wedding planning versus someone. I consider Bridezilla as people who are rude, nasty, mean, demanding, demeaning. Looking at all of the vendors in the service industry kind of as lesser than help. Yeah, as the help. And so Ashley would never and has never, you know, and so, yeah, Bridezilla is level zero.

[Raina Greenberg]

Okay, great.

[Ashley Hess]

So I think I know what I want in some areas for sure. And I know what I don't. But I'm also like, I defer to the experts. And then there's other stuff that I'm like, girl, I don't know. You plan it. Like, I didn't have much. A lot of stuff is like, leave it to the experts. I think people think they know it all.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yes. I think you have done a really great job of saying this is what's important to us. This is the experience we'd love to give to our guests. This is the experience we'd like to have. Like, even when we were looking for hair and makeup, Ashley was like, hey, so I really am not sitting with 12 people starting at 7am getting hair and makeup done. So I was like, fantastic. So she knew the experience she wanted was to be small, intimate, not this, like, long, drawn out day where she's exhausted by the time she walks down the aisle. Right. So we're able to tailor her wants and needs, but when it comes to finding the vendors, she's like, hey, so. Because this is what I want, tell me who we should be using. Right. So she leaves, tells us the vision, but then leaves it to us to find it so we can execute it.

[Ashley Hess]

Like, she put together, like, vision boards, essentially for the look, and I was like, no notes. Yeah, look, I didn't tell her any direction. It was like, I'm thinking green because of this. I'm thinking these color flowers. I was like, looks good to me. I literally was just like, that's seems fine.

[Raina Greenberg]

Did you racially profile her? You're like a white girl named Ashley?

[Jacqueline Elise]

No, but we're actually. We're actually not, to be perfectly honest, like, not to give too much away, but I think this is, like, so opposite of, like, basic white girl. Like, I think this is very opposite of basic white girl. Yeah. I. I basically was like, okay, I think we. We found the venue, really, when it comes to planner, client, bride, relationship, you really have to talk. And we have to listen. You have to share. We have to listen. We learn about your fiance, we learn about you, we learn about your cultures, we learn about your families, we learn about just your personalities. Like, and then we try to bring it together. We're, like, listening for keywords like, where do you like to travel? What kinds of foods do you love? Like, it's not just what colors do you. Like, that's for amateur. Like, hey, I created a website wedding planner and has no experience is like, what colors do you like? We get to know the people and then try to figure out how can we bring their personality and their individuality to wedding planning.

[Raina Greenberg]

I love that. And I love hearing, like, the background of what makes you good at what you do. And we put it out to our audience, like, what questions do you have? And they were so good. And it's so varied. And, I mean, maybe we could just hear, like, what do you do? And how's that different than a coordinator?

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. And I also want to jump in and say how. What a joy it has been to work with Jaclyn. And you had left LA that day. We didn't live here. We met you through our friend Taylor, L.A. kind of just opened up post, post Covid. And we were just out, like, on this boat. Yeah. Hanging out. And I met you. And so I was just. I think even when I got engaged, you might have slid in my DMs. You're like, just, I'm here if you need me.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I was like, no pressure.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Jacqueline Elise]

But if you need advice, help, not even to, like, hire me, but, like, if you even just have a question, like, I'm here. So happy for you. Like, I've watched the podcast forever. Like, I kind of knew the journey with your fiance. You know what I mean? And because we were acquaintances before this, I thought it was, you know, it was a very genuine, you know, conversation. So. And it just worked out really nicely.

[Ashley Hess]

And you. Do you get the vision? Like, you take the words out of my mouth sometimes. You guys really listen, and I just love that distinction of someone who doesn't really know what they're doing, and they're.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Like, what's your favorite color?

[Ashley Hess]

And one thing you said to me early on was, you have got to tell me if you like something or don't like something. And to me, it sounds like you have been burned so many times by maybe people pleaser don't want to push back clients who you get really far down a road and they haven't, like, something the whole time.

[Raina Greenberg]

That's so funny you said that, because when I was redoing my house, my contractor said that to me day one and continuously. You do not like something. You must tell me.

[Ashley Hess]

You can tell it comes from trauma.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yeah, I mean, it kind of does. I say, like, it's just as important for me to know and for our planners in our company to know, you know, what it is that you like and what it is that you don't like. Here's the thing. Wedding planners as experienced and as talented as my whole company is, we are not mind readers, Right? Like, there is no crystal ball. We don't know what you're thinking. And the whole process is incredibly creative. So I could show you the same vision board I showed Ashley. You may not like it, right? But, like, she loved it. So there is no. When it comes to art and creativity, there really is no right or wrong. So it's an opinion. It's not a fact. So you can't just yes me to death as your wedding planner and then end up with something that you hate, right? So what we do is we try to encourage, like, the most important thing that you can have. I say, in any relationship, your marriage, your friendships, if you're engaged, you're dating someone, you know, whatever it is, is communication, right? So, like, what we push in our company when we're building relationships with any client is you have to communicate. If there's even a form of communication Style you don't like. Tell us that if there's something that will make your life easier, tell us that. Like, we cannot read your mind just like any other relationship in your life. And so we push that. And I feel like that's what gives the experience that you're having where it's like, you have the freedom to be like, girl, this is not the vibe. And I go, great, let's move on. Right?

[Raina Greenberg]

I know, but we've also. Ashley and I have just planned so many things, and we've done hundreds of live shows, so I think it's a little more comfortable for us. I don't know that it's comfortable for everybody to give you details or explain themselves. And then you do get back into a corner of people where they're like, I don't like this. And you're like, you know, could you said, y.

[Ashley Hess]

You signed off on it. Tell me.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Right. And that's the funny part is we don't make the decisions. We bring you the options. Right. And ultimately you make the decision. So if you're deciding from things that you don't like, like, you really do have to tell us.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Jacqueline Elise]

So, yeah, I'm glad to hear that. It has made your experience been a joy.

[Ashley Hess]

I can't imagine we'll get to it.

[Jacqueline Elise]

When you went venue shopping, I. And I even said to them, I was like, you're going to show up to a venue, and you may be like, jacqueline, we hate it. And the whole point is, is that this is. It shows you. It's a nice comparison of, like, what your budget can. This is what this gets. This is what this gets. This is what this gets. Right? So every venue I'm sending you to, which I think was only three or four, but, like, they all aren't supposed to be perfect. Only one has to be.

[Raina Greenberg]

And also, I think just as much as knowing what you like, it's important to know what you don't like. And sometimes I learn more from that. Or I'm just like, the same. Ceilings are carpet high.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Oh, my gosh.

[Ashley Hess]

Carpeted ballroom. I was that. I'm not going to say, but I was like, everything's perfect besides the carpet, and I'm not doing it.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Can I give, like, I want to do, like, a PSA to every hotel, every wedding venue? Why are we carpet contact wedding planners stop hiring interior designers who they don't know how to cater to couples. Wedding planners do hire us to redo your ballrooms. Because if I could tell you how many venues have lost millions of Revenue. Because I show them a ballroom with carpet. And the other. Here's a. Can I give, like, my first trick. I'm gonna guess about ballrooms with carpets. Yes. If you are doing a ballroom with a carpet, unless you have the money to fully cover it, which is very expensive.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Lean into it. So if your carpet's green, do green linens. If your carpet's blue, do blue linens. Like, I'm just. It's just fully send it because then it's not drawing attention to it.

[Ashley Hess]

Totally.

[Jacqueline Elise]

There's no contrast. It's blending. And once the tables are out and chairs are out, the design of it will feel much more cohesive, and there just won't be contrast. So there's the. If you have to be.

[Ashley Hess]

Lean into your dusty carpet.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Lean in. Lean into your carpet.

[Raina Greenberg]

You're gonna make an affordable decision. Say it with your whole chest.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Say it. That's what I'm saying.

[Ashley Hess]

And admit that you can't afford to cover this whole carpet, because who could?

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yeah. It's not the best, but so many venues lose so much money just because. And we're talking brand new Renos. Like, and I'm like, why? Like, have we not learned our lesson?

[Raina Greenberg]

It would be a hard no for me.

[Ashley Hess]

Carpet in the airport and carpet in a ballroom. Get the fuck out.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Get out.

[Ashley Hess]

I've been in areas of airport tiles.

[Raina Greenberg]

That are spread out in an airport, and the wheels get stuck on those tiles. I'm like, what are we doing here?

[Ashley Hess]

So can you give us a little background on becoming a wedding planner?

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yeah, of course. So I worked my very first wedding at the age of 11.

[Raina Greenberg]

Oh, my God.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Cutie. My grandfather. And I'll keep this part quick, but my grandfather immigrated from Greece, left his wife and five kids in Greece, worked as a busboy at the UN In New York City, saved up money for two years, brought his whole family over, was like the original American dream, and created, like, a multi million dollar business where he owned restaurants and a wedding venue. And I was the coat check girl at the restaurant and wedding venue. So every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday when we had weddings, I would go in the coach coat check closet. I would hang all the coats, and then once all the coats are hung, I'd lock the door. And then I would chase the couple around, making sure her veil or her train isn't dragging on the floor, making sure I'm aging myself here because this is before digital photography. But if there was like, let's say you're doing a picture outside and there's like a Parking cone, like in the distance that's gonna be in your wedding picture forever, right? So like, I was like making sure there was nothing like in the background of your photos or making sure her curls were right or like whatever it was. So I really learned the events industry hospitality literally from the age of 11 on. And did that worked. Fridays, like, while other people are at sleepovers, I was like, guys, I have to go to work. And by the way, can I tell you, like, to this day, being a coat check girl, the best job of my life. So there were 250 people in the wedding venue, 250 people at dinner. If everyone gave me a dollar, I was making 5, 500 bucks a night.

[Raina Greenberg]

No, you crush it.

[Jacqueline Elise]

No, I was, I was 11 years old. I loved sitting in my room with like single. You would have thought I was like a stripper.

[Ashley Hess]

Yes.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Like, I had singles laid across my room, counting them in like increments of 10. I would have like $1,000 for like the weekend. And I bought. When I was 15, I was like, I'm gonna buy my first Louis Vuitton. And I walked in and I had nothing but singles.

[Ashley Hess]

And I said to the guy, I was like, I'm so, so embarrassed, but.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I really want that wallet.

[Ashley Hess]

It was a $525 wallet.

[Jacqueline Elise]

To this day, I use that wallet every day. I'm 40 years old. I bought it when I was 15 with my coat check girl and wedding coordinator money.

[Ashley Hess]

And they were probably like, we're gonna call the cops.

[Jacqueline Elise]

No, I'm kidding you actually. Do you know what he said to me? Cause I'll never forget it. I go, I'm really like, so embarrassed, but I only have 525 in singles. And he looks at me and goes, money's money, honey. Yeah, you know, he was like, I get commission. I don't care how I make it.

[Ashley Hess]

Do you work on commission?

[Jacqueline Elise]

Big mistake, Big mistake. Big mistake. No, he. He leaned in, he was like, here's a 14 year old, 15 year old girl with cash and like, let's go for it. So anyway, can I just tell you.

[Raina Greenberg]

I can't even imagine how this formed you as a person to deal with people from the age of 11 on the most important day of their life. Cannot do it again. There are no redos. Like the baptism by fire of dealing with that shit when you are a kid. I mean, I don't have a touch point for it. I started waiting tables when I was 22 in New York City in the Upper east side. Those people were hard as fuck to deal with. But that is nothing like the day. The most important day of your life.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I mean, I wasn't officially, like, they didn't, like. They didn't, like, sell me as the coordinator. I just was the coat check girl, you know, locking the door and then. But I knew instinctually what needed to get done, what needed to be fixed. I looked. I used my senses. You know, you use your eyes, your nose, your ears, and you figure out, like, what needs to get done, how quickly does it need to get done. And there are people in this world, you know, who just jump into action. And I feel like that's what makes, like, a really good wedding planner, specifically on the day of. But like, it was just something that came so natural. And there really is no wedding planning, you know, college, like, you can go to school for hospitality, but events, you know, there's a couple scammy things where, like, you can get a certificate to be. That's like, if I just said, give me $1,000 and I'll send you, like, a printout. You know what I mean?

[Raina Greenberg]

Event planning, I think there's probably less.

[Jacqueline Elise]

You can be certified, but it's not accredited. So, like, essentially, I could start my own certification program tomorrow. And it's like, it's not accredited by anything. Yeah. So anyway, that's how I got my experience was literally. And then I. And then I did. And I was a waitress, and I was a bartender, and I was a hostess, and then I did corporate event planning. And then I thought, I. I can't buy a cubicle. I was like, I cannot die in a cubicle. And I was 25 years old, and I started the business. And my first client, to this day, never knew she was my first client. That was 15 years ago. And I actually just. We just did her little brother's wedding, too. So 15 years later, they came back.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, I love that. So you said commission, and it just made me think something I want to touch on. And we have so many questions to get to today. But I think one thing that does make you. I don't know if it's different. You tell us what's the norm, is how some wedding planners charge for their services and how that kind of affects the way they might plan your wedding.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah. Because people are like, what does a wedding planner do? And how does that, you know, shout out.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yeah. So, you know, there's different kinds of wedding planning. So I'll give you an example. So most wedding planners don't do everything. I'm about to talk about My company does. I started my company kind of with the mission to employ as many females as possible, create wealthy, independent women. I grew up just watching women be controlled by money. And I was like, that's never going to be me and it's never going to be anybody who wants to be part of my company. Like, we are going to create a universe where, you know, we have opportunities. Right. My company, I do have, we have from consulting, which is like, hey, you just want to talk to us once a month and like, ask us questions and like, you're doing the emails, you're doing the, you're doing like the time consuming stuff, but you can pick our brain for a fee, Right?

[Ashley Hess]

Wow.

[Jacqueline Elise]

And it can be consistent. Like, you can do it once a month for 24 months, you can do it once a month for 12 months. You do it once a month for four months. It doesn't matter. Right? So we do consulting. We do. You plan your entire wedding, but you want us to come in 30 days before your wedding, tie all of it together and be a wedding, a true wedding coordinator. Meaning we didn't plan, we didn't book your vendors, we didn't create the plan, but we are going to help you execute it. We're going to organize it, we're going to make sure you're not missing key things. We're going to go through checklists, make sure, like, you haven't made any major mistakes. Right. And then we're there the weekend for the rehearsal for the wedding. And we're the ones like, making sure things are just aligning.

[Raina Greenberg]

Okay.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Then we do a la carte wedding planning. So some people come to us and they go, hey, so I need help with these six things, but I don't need help with these 12 other things. And we're like, okay, great, so hire us for those six things. Like, fantastic, right? And then we also do full service wedding planning, which is you come to us with a budget and a dream and we, you know, go from there and we take you from brainstorming to fruition. Right. So a lot of wedding planners, I would say there are some companies that do kind of the full range. I think that makes us different. A lot of people tend to find a niche. Like, a lot of planners will only do full service. A lot of planners will only do coordination. But going back to commission, what you said, so one of the things that, you know, I, I really built my business is treat your clients the way you would want to be treated as a client. Right. Like pretty basic customer service. Yeah. But it is something I believe in with my whole heart and full chest. And like there is a little bit of like this underground. Okay. So I'm going to tell Ashley to book this photographer because that photographer is going to increase their fee by 10% so that they're giving me a commission, a kickback. We absolutely have never done that. Have. Will never do that. We're very transparent with that because. And I will say there are going to be wedding planners who maybe listen to this and say, well, I charge commissions, but I'm up front if you're upfront about it. And this is part of like your pitch to your client and your client fully knows what's happening. More power to you. What I have seen is the kind of the underground. You're doing it on the sly. You're having people put like an added fee, a hidden fee in there that like your client doesn't know what it is. So you're of kind. They're paying you for your service, but then they're also paying more for the vendor. And I just think that's stealing, quite frankly. And I would, if that happened to me as a client in any industry, I'd be livid. Yes.

[Raina Greenberg]

So I think that the dream is that you work with a coordinator or a planner because they relationships with these people and the relationship would allow you to get a discount, not the opposite. That's why you hire somebody to design.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Well, that's why. That's exactly what we do.

[Raina Greenberg]

That's why we do interior designer.

[Jacqueline Elise]

No, that's exactly what we do. So I basically say, hey, these 20 photographers, they are trustworthy, they are reliable, they are talented, they're amazing, they're kind people, they give great customer service, their work is incredible. And by the way, you're going to get a 10% discount because we bring them so much business. So all of the relationships that myself and my 15 planners have created are all organic. And the vendors are like, we'd be happy to give them a discount because you've brought us 12 weddings this year. Right. Like we don't need to do the undercutting. Like just not something. And my business is not built off that. I don't need to pay my bills off of stealing from people.

[Ashley Hess]

But I guess to my point, just to confirm, like you're if a full service wedding, a client is paying you the same amount if their wedding is 50 or 100 or 200 grand, right?

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yeah. So we're flat fake.

[Ashley Hess]

That's flat.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Exactly.

[Ashley Hess]

That's my kind of my point because I Think. People think, like, the more expensive my wedding, the more that I have to pay a planner.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Right. Well, I will say our fees range not based on your budget, based on what you want us to plan.

[Ashley Hess]

That's why.

[Jacqueline Elise]

So your budget could be 200,000 for your wedding. But if I'm only planning one day.

[Ashley Hess]

That'S what I'm saying, like, then that's based on the service.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Based on the service. Right. Where if you have 200,000 for three days, might be more expensive because we're planning three days worth of events and not one day. Right. So it just depends. But yeah.

[Raina Greenberg]

So I'm like, you want to get into foaming at the mouth about budget? And that's the thing that came up the mouth. And so many questions about, like, where should I put my money? What has the largest impact, the smallest impact? But like, just flat out, like, what does a wedding cost? How do I make a budget?

[Ashley Hess]

How much is Ashley's wedding?

[Raina Greenberg]

How much is it?

[Jacqueline Elise]

Ashley's wedding?

[Raina Greenberg]

I'm dead.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I mean, it does. I'm dead.

[Ashley Hess]

You asked me straight up.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Absolutely.

[Ashley Hess]

What's ideal and what's your top? Top. Don't go above it.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yeah. Okay.

[Raina Greenberg]

So somebody says to you, like, hi, I want to plan a wedding.

[Jacqueline Elise]

How much is the wedding? Okay, so I, I, I mean, genuinely, I get this question every single day of my life. And starting my planners, it's like, what does the wedding cost? Well, how much you got? Yeah, no, I mean, I wish. Right. I mean, that'd be a fun answer. How much do you have? Well, we do kind of ask.

[Raina Greenberg]

No, when I asked my, my, my architect in my house, I said, can we do this? And he said, you got money? We can do it.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Well, here's the thing. Absolutely anything. You can have whatever you want. You can have whatever you want. Everything has a price tag.

[Raina Greenberg]

That's what he said.

[Jacqueline Elise]

But, but I will say this. When people just say, when people just say, like, point, you got money, you got money. When people ask point blank, how much does a wedding cost? They want a black and white answer. But it's such a nuanced question, right. Which is, how much does a white T shirt cost? Well, if you go to Walmart, a T shirt's $6. If you go to Old Navy, it's $14. If you go to Nordstrom, it's $75. If you buy a Prada T shirt, it's $400. Right. They're all white T shirts. So you can't really ask someone how much is anything because it's so nuanced. So one of the things that we love sharing and there are so many theories about budgets, and I truly stand behind. There's two correct ways to create a budget. The first one is you hire a planner and you say, this is how much I can spend. This is how much I have. And then we tell you, like.

[Ashley Hess]

Like this.

[Jacqueline Elise]

How many people you can invite. This is the location that you can get married in. This is. These are the options based on that number you gave us here. This is what it's going to cost if you get married in Pennsylvania. This is what it's going to cost if you get married in New Jersey. This is what it's going to cost if you get married in Aspen. This is what it's going to cost if you get married in Los Angeles, Dallas, Florida, whatever it is.

[Ashley Hess]

Italy.

[Jacqueline Elise]

We've planned four weddings in Italy last year. Like, this is how much that budget. This is how far it's going to take you wherever, right? The second way is I want 250 people on a Saturday in Manhattan during peak season. And I'm going to say, great. Do you have a minimum, right. Of $250,000?

[Raina Greenberg]

I felt sick when you were saying that. Honestly, I was like, I knew it.

[Ashley Hess]

Was going to be 250,000.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah. I tried to plan a wedding in New York, like, and also, that's another thing. Do you want a wedding in Italy? Okay. Do you have the money to entertain people for three to four days who are traveling across the world? Do you want to write an itinerary? Plan a Thursday event and Sunday event? Can you afford that?

[Jacqueline Elise]

Right. And listen, we've. I've planned, what, 200 person weddings for $20,000.

[Ashley Hess]

Whoa.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I mean, granted, this was 12 years ago.

[Raina Greenberg]

Was that a park?

[Jacqueline Elise]

It was at a fire station.

[Raina Greenberg]

Of course it was.

[Ashley Hess]

We love a fire station.

[Jacqueline Elise]

It was a fire. No joke. It was a fire station. The firefighters literally built this gorgeous. They have beautiful cherrywood floor, not even carpet, if you can imagine.

[Ashley Hess]

The floors.

[Jacqueline Elise]

The floors. They had beautiful hardwood floors. They built this gorgeous, like, cocktail. I mean, gorgeous at a fire, at a firehouse, right? Like, to be fair, but a beautiful cherrywood bar for cocktail hour. They created a rose garden for this ceremony space. And the couple came to me and it's really about priorities. So they said, we have 200 people on our guest list and $20,000. I said, Great. You can't be picky and you have to get married where I say you have to get married? And they were like, why is that so funny?

[Ashley Hess]

So here's what you're gonna do.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Great. But they were like, reducing the guest count is not an option.

[Raina Greenberg]

Okay?

[Jacqueline Elise]

And I was like, great, then you have to trust me and listen to me, because you're not doing it at the Plaza Hotel. Like, we're doing it at a fire station in New Jersey. Like, wait, can I tell you?

[Raina Greenberg]

My ex, his father was the director of events at the Plaza Hotel. And I was like, can we do it here? And he was like, can you? You started a million.

[Ashley Hess]

And I was like, no, no.

[Jacqueline Elise]

We've done two weddings at the Plaza. They were lovely and amazing and fabulous. But so, but to my point is we've planned weddings at the Plaza Hotel. We've planned weddings at castles in Italy. We've planned 10 person weddings in people's dining rooms, and we've planned 500 person weddings. Like, when it goes back to how much does a wedding cost? It's like, well, I can show you a $20,000 wedding for 200 people. I could also show you a 1.5 million dollar wedding. Like, and, and the, and it's everywhere in between.

[Raina Greenberg]

I understand the question. The question is like, how do I make a budget?

[Ashley Hess]

So that's different.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I can give everyone like a hard answer to at least their biggest question.

[Ashley Hess]

But like, again, I don't want to back you in a corner, but let's just say we're doing, we're doing a 150 person wedding. Just, you know, let's. Asking for a friend.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

And it's going to be in a. Maybe not New York, but a major city. Ish. And you want it to be fancy and classy and you want to have your two days. And let's just say roughly for good food, open bar, premium good dj, all the things like, what are we.

[Raina Greenberg]

This all feels pretty standard.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yeah. Okay, so we're talking about like not low budget, not high budget, somewhere in.

[Ashley Hess]

The upper middle and like a nice hotel. Whatever.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I would say you'd want to. I mean, here's just like a really nice standard because I don't want to give just gray answers. I. If we were talking to a client and they gave us those specs, I would say we'd want to allot. Now don't confuse this with price per head for food.

[Ashley Hess]

Exactly.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Price per head for the overall event. You want to allot about $1,000 a person. So if you have 100 people, $100,000. Okay, you have 200 people, $200,000. Now that's. Again, now this still goes back. Are there Venues where we could drop it by 50,000. Sure. But we want to make sure we're working in the realm of reality. Right. We're not magicians. So if you ask me for a French chateau vibe in, you know, the middle of somewhere that I've never heard of, and you have 200 people on your guest list and $70,000, like, and when I say this, by the way, I, I really do like to say, like, $70,000 is a lot of money. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, we don't look at your money and say that's not a lot. Or the, that's like it's $20,000 a lot. If someone walked into my house and said, hey, to redo this bathroom, I need $20,000, I would say, wow, $20,000. A lot of money. Right? So we are not in any way, shape or form putting anybody down for not having a certain amount. But there's realistic things of what things cost and not. So it has no bearing on us whether you have 20,000, whether you have 75,000 or whether you have 500,000. But it does make a difference in what you get.

[Raina Greenberg]

I think you just want to set expectations and the things that they're going to have to cut is going to upset people. So like I've been to weddings that I've traveled for and the cocktail hour had no food. And I'm standing there, and I'm standing there and I've like been through an hour long ceremony and we're going to be standing in this marble lobby with no food and not a lot of alcohol. And clearly they forego those things. And you're like, but this created a bad experience for everybody.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Let me just ask you this because. Cause it's something we would tell our clients. Wouldn't you rather instead of having 200 people? So one of my biggest things is staffing. Have you ever been to a wedding where there's 200 people and there's one bartender? No, I'm sorry, biggest party foul. And that's honestly how you know someone who planned the wedding as an amateur. Because you need to staff appropriately. You need to think about your guest. Yes. It's your wedding and we're going to make the vibe and experience around you. But you are hosting people and you need to think about their experience. When are they eating, when are they drinking, how far are they walking? Like, what's what, what's their entire experience from start to finish? And if you're not being thoughtful about that, you're not throwing a Good wedding. Yes.

[Raina Greenberg]

I mean, we've done. We've done live shows where we've had to ask venues to please staff up more bartenders.

[Ashley Hess]

Yes.

[Raina Greenberg]

Because we know our whole audience will get drinks.

[Ashley Hess]

You think about it, and it's about what matters. And I'm sure some people, like, clutch their chest at hearing a thousand a person. And of course, we need to reiterate. That meant rehearsal dinner.

[Jacqueline Elise]

That's like. Like for the. Yeah. That's like you're talking, like.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah, but it's just like, you can decide what matters. You know, I always thought I'd be like, I'm not really gonna care that much about the decor and the flowers and. Spoiler alert. I do.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Right? But you know what you did.

[Ashley Hess]

I want it to be beautiful.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Am I allowed to share, like, one thing that you didn't particularly care about?

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Jacqueline Elise]

When we were going over invitations, and I was like, so we should be budgeting, like, a certain, like, X amount for your guest count? And she was like, absolutely not.

[Ashley Hess]

And I was like, we haven't even done them yet.

[Jacqueline Elise]

No, but I. But when we were talking about it, we were just having a conversation. She was like, no, no, no. Like, we're not. We're not gonna do that. And I was like, okay. So, like, yeah, we'll just. No, we're. So we're not gonna get. Okay, great. We're not gonna do that. Right? Like, we sort of have them.

[Ashley Hess]

Whatever.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I think we just kind of have them. But my point is, it wasn't a priority for her. So let's not. Let's not spend money there. Let's reallocate it somewhere else. Like, that's fine. Like, even as planners, we don't force our clients to do things a certain way. We're like, if you don't wanna spend $5000 on invitations or 3000 or 6000 or whatever it is. And by the way, even invitations, I mean, the range is out of control. Just, do you want letterpress? Do you want foil? Do you want. I mean, people have no clue, but. And it's not, again, that there's a good, a bad, or right and a wrong. There's just a million options.

[Raina Greenberg]

So let me ask you, if somebody's like, all right, well, fine, I have 70 grand to spend. How can I make my money go the farthest? So, like, what is important to deprioritize? How do I make my money and take.

[Ashley Hess]

Make the biggest impact?

[Jacqueline Elise]

So.

[Raina Greenberg]

And that's pretty loaded.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yeah. I mean, I personally think the biggest impact is, again, thinking about the guest experience. So I would rather personally, and this is the advice we give our clients. I'd rather give 100 people the best experience than 200 people a mediocre to bad experience.

[Raina Greenberg]

Oh, less guests. I never thought about that.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Well, first of all, do you want to know what people say? How do I save money? Do I use candles instead of flowers? No. Do I send emails instead of invasions? No. You're not moving the needle enough. The only way you save significant amount of money is fewer guests. Think about it. If you have 100 person guest list versus a 200 person guest list, that's literally 100 more plates of food, 100 more people drinking, 100 more chairs, that's 10 more tables of linens. It's literally double everything. Right? So if you're trying, if you're saying, I'm double my budget, cut your guest list in half. So I think people's biggest mistake is making a guest list before they make their budget interesting.

[Raina Greenberg]

I never thought about that. I love that answer.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Make your budget first. And by the way, people do come to us and say, we don't have a budget because we don't know what things cost. And I go, nope, nope, nope. We're gonna work backwards. Here's what we're gonna do. All right, let's play a little game. Ashley, would you spend $500,000 on a wedding?

[Ashley Hess]

No.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Okay. Would you spend 300? No.

[Ashley Hess]

Okay. Would you.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Now, you don't have to give the real number, by the way. But my point is. But my point is we can play this game all day long. We did this game. We literally played this game. So I was like, would you spend 200? I won't give the answer. Do you?

[Ashley Hess]

100?

[Jacqueline Elise]

You won't. But, like, my point is, is like, you just keep going until they say, this is what I spend. Great. That's our budget.

[Raina Greenberg]

But I also understand just from like a plan, a planning perspective of being like, okay, well, I want to be realistic about what flowers cost. I want to be realistic about a cocktail hour costs. And you go from the other angle and you say, you tell me what you can afford, I will go figure out what you can afford.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yeah. Because we also can, like, I. I've made some of the most gorgeous tablescapes from stuff from like, Ikea, by the way. Do you know what I mean? That you would never. If I showed you a picture, you'd be like, oh, my gosh, this must have been so much money. If, like, no, I'm creative, right? Like, I'm Creative. Our team is creative, and, like, we can figure things out. But what you don't want to do is send your planner or any of your vendors on wild goose chases. Don't just say, how much is everything? Right? And you're like, well, that's. That's not. It's not a good use of our time, and quite frankly, we'll have to charge. Wind up charging you more. Because, like, we're doing the. You're asking us to then do the work ten times. Yeah, right. Like, we want to make sure that we are laser focused in what you can afford. It's one of the things I don't like. It's like going wedding dress shopping. You're like, my budget's $4,000 for a dress. They put you in a $10,000 dress. Yeah, like, that's not how we work a hundred percent. And so I would never. If someone said to me, this is how much money I have, I would never send them to a venue that isn't in that price range. So I can give one budget tip. I think everyone's gonna like, okay, you've given plenty. Okay, perfect.

[Raina Greenberg]

Now I have like, a guest list thing.

[Jacqueline Elise]

The guest list thing is you either if. And by the way, if your budget isn't working, you need one of two things. A bigger budget or less guests. Okay? So the number one thing I say to people, because they do not know. Okay? So have you ever had a friend maybe you. I know plenty of people who've done it. It's called buying a house. Then your house poor, right? Because you spent every single dime on the deposit on escrow on, like, closing on the house and everything. And then you have absolutely no money to furnish your house. Right? So the biggest mistake that people make, we see it all the time, is they spend too much of their money on the venue.

[Raina Greenberg]

Okay, so, like, what is what. So what do people spend on?

[Jacqueline Elise]

So take your. Figure out a number. What number will not keep you guys up at night? What number will make sure your mortgage is paid, your rent is paid. Like, figure out a number that you are comfortable spending on your wedding. Okay, That's. Remember, do that before you make the guest count. Then you want to figure out. You take 40% of that total budget. 50 is max. So anywhere between 40 and 50. But don't go over 50%, because then you'll wind up being venue poor. Anywhere between 40 to 50% is what you allocate towards your venue. Food and beverage, it's your biggest chunk. Like no other. No other vendor should take up that much of the budget. But in that 40%, you need to be reminding yourself that when it they say it's X amount per person for food, drink, there's also going to be taxes, there's going to be state tax, there's going to be admin fee, there's going to be gratuity. And at the very max, including all of those fees, it should equal no more than 50% of your total budget.

[Raina Greenberg]

Because I think some people are listening to. I love that. And I was going to ask you, like, what do people overspend on? There's so many other vendors. I mean, that you have flowers, the dress, the drivers photo, music. Photo and video. I mean, there is so much other.

[Ashley Hess]

Stuff spend money on.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Oh, especially music. So let me tell you something about music. People who are like listening to this right now. If you want a band, start saving now. Bands are, I mean, and good bands. Good and good. I mean, I'm going to say something that that's like highly controversial and may get me in trouble.

[Raina Greenberg]

No, I need to know. DJ versus band.

[Jacqueline Elise]

No, me. Hello, dj.

[Ashley Hess]

We are the DJ family.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I'm, I'm a DJ gal. I'm not a band gal.

[Raina Greenberg]

I always say I want to hear Beyonce.

[Jacqueline Elise]

You want to know why?

[Raina Greenberg]

That's what I want to hear.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I'm sorry, but, like, listen, I say this into the. If the five vendors that I work with, that we work with are listening to this, we love you. You know who you are. The majority of bands, the members are divas. They're demanding. They're not professional. They're not as good as they think they are. Like, if you could see our company group chat on a random Saturday, like, talking shit about the bands, like, and how we're just like, they are the bane of our existence. Like, now again, to the people that we work with and you know who you are. We love you and you're amazing. We're not talking to you right now. We're not talking to you right now. But the good ones are expensive. Okay. Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

I think there's this wide spectrum and the ones that are at the top, top, which, like the band that Lee had for her wedding at the Barnes foundation in Philly. I mean, the wedding was pricey. Was the best band. They were actually the best band. I would love to know what they cost. And then there's just like, it's like this top tier people who are good.

[Jacqueline Elise]

At marketing and they do lots of Instagram ads and they have good salespeople and then they sell People and, like, that's it.

[Ashley Hess]

So the venue I want to go back. Go back to. And we touch a little bit on how I even chose mine, because I have, like, one tip, I feel like, of deciding what type of bride you are, but I think wouldn't you say that's a big money issue? Saving thing, like, aside from the guests.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Is, like, the venue.

[Ashley Hess]

Like, don't have your heart set on this certain type of botanical garden or hotel.

[Raina Greenberg]

That's where I was gonna get married. So I had all of these ideas of, like, what I want. Wanted to do, and I want to. And I. We do want to ask about the venue in terms of, like, a raw space. You just get your heart set on, like, just. There's, like, warehouses in Brooklyn I thought would have been really fun to have a wedding at versus a hotel versus a turnkey wedding venue. They just churn them out all week. So I wanted to do it. I did book the botanical gardens in Pittsburgh, but they were a turnkey. I mean, they hosted weddings every.

[Jacqueline Elise]

All the time. Yeah. Every weekend.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah.

[Jacqueline Elise]

So, anyways, so we get a lot of these questions a lot when we're on, like, a consultation with a couple. They're like, okay, if we start looking for a venue, like, how quickly can we, you know, lock it in? I'm like, well, I mean, that's really up to you. Right? Like, we. We start working with our couples within, like, 72 hours of you, like, signing a contract and booking. And then within a week, we have, like, our first round of things within two weeks. Like, we're. We're quick, right? But if you're depending on how flexible the client is.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Jacqueline Elise]

So if someone comes to us and says, I have a checklist of 10 things, and I will not get married unless every One of these 10 things are checked out, there may be, like, one venue that, like, has all 10 things. Like, I can't build a wedding venue from scratch because you want these 10 things. Now, we might find venues that have eight things or six things, or. Do you know what I mean? So it really depends on your level of flexibility. It depends on, like, where you're willing to. We can gather the information. You can tell us what you want. We can gather the information, show you the pricing, the options. This is how many things it checks off your list. But you need to be realistic. And that's, I think, a lot of what we try to get across with.

[Ashley Hess]

Couples and timing, too. We'll answer it quickly and move on. But how much in advance do I need to plan My wedding. You told me I can plan your wedding in 30 days.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I've literally have.

[Ashley Hess]

But it just depends on the venues. Now some people want these venues. What they have two, three year waiting lists. So we started talking. I don't even remember it was this year.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yeah, it was this year. Yeah. So it actually goes like right after Christmas or New Year's or something like that.

[Raina Greenberg]

A call with her.

[Ashley Hess]

We were still long distance. So I think it was, it was.

[Raina Greenberg]

Right before the LA fires. It was right.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I think it was like the fires.

[Ashley Hess]

I think it was on my like to do list.

[Jacqueline Elise]

First of the year, so.

[Ashley Hess]

And I'm getting married on November 1st, but I got engaged on, on Labor Day weekend. And so it wasn't immediate. I took some time and I had a lot on my plate. And we did our, all the our things we did last fall and winter. And so everybody's story is so different. But I think that question is completely unanswerable. Do you want every option in the world? I don't know, two years, one year.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Right.

[Raina Greenberg]

You want something that's really hard to do.

[Ashley Hess]

You can do a wedding six months, three months.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Right.

[Raina Greenberg]

So these, like, what if I've been to weddings in the woods where people build everything and they like, what if somebody says, I want a raw space versus like a turnkey wedding venue?

[Jacqueline Elise]

What are your parents. Farm. We talked about. Yeah, I mean, and we've. And we've done that. Right? Like we have. We literally, literally did a wedding on a farm that had no running water, no electricity, no bathrooms, literally nothing. Had you build it from the ground up. And yeah. People, here's the thing, it's expensive anytime you start.

[Raina Greenberg]

Okay, that's an answer. You got money?

[Jacqueline Elise]

You got money? Yeah. I mean, the bathrooms, I mean, we had to bring in generators for the DJ and then a backup generator because in case the first generator goes, we had to bring in generators. I mean, the caterers were working off of, you know, generator. I mean, everyone's working off generator. We spent. We had to charge them a ton of money because we had staff literally filling glass water bottles for like days at a time. So there was enough water for 250 guests. Like, you know what I mean? So there's a lot that goes into it, but let's just say like backyard tented wedding tents are thousands of dollars. And by the way, we're going to talk about this is why the budget question is so hard. I could pitch you a $4 folding chair, but if you don't want a folding chair, then you have to spend 15, 20, 40, $50 on a chair. Metal.

[Raina Greenberg]

Do you want wood?

[Jacqueline Elise]

Covers? Exactly. Do you want covers? Do you not want covers? Do you want cushions? Do you not want cushions? Do you want, like. Do you want arms? Do you not want arms? Do you want, like, by the way, like, we will not let you. If you're doing a ceremony in one area and a reception other. Like, we are not moving chairs. So if you have 200 guests, do you want to know how many chairs you're renting? 400, because you need 200 for the ceremony and 200 for the reception, because who's lugging 200 chairs from the garden to the tent?

[Raina Greenberg]

Well, do you.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Or.

[Raina Greenberg]

Or let's have. Let's get extra staff to do that.

[Ashley Hess]

Or.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yeah, or you can spend X. But by the time you do that, you might as well rent the chairs. Do you know what I mean? So, like, people have these, like, ideas, like, well, I'll just get people to do it. And you're like, okay, but also, you have to walk through the cocktail hour to get the chairs from the garden to the tent.

[Ashley Hess]

We're doing my thing.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Chairs.

[Ashley Hess]

We're flipping them.

[Jacqueline Elise]

You're doing the same chairs.

[Ashley Hess]

We're doing the same room.

[Jacqueline Elise]

You're doing the same room.

[Ashley Hess]

Okay, okay, okay. We're doing the same.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I'm just doing the same job. No, she had a mini pan.

[Ashley Hess]

Because it's.

[Jacqueline Elise]

No, that. That wasn't about you. I promise. You're using the same chairs, and they're.

[Ashley Hess]

Because we're in the same, by the.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Way, and they're fabulous.

[Ashley Hess]

Oh, yeah.

[Jacqueline Elise]

They're part of the vibe. I also. I also get on my high horse. If you want to know the design choice that makes the biggest impact.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yes.

[Jacqueline Elise]

It's chairs. Let me scream it into the microphone. You will have 200 chairs in every ceremony picture and 200 chairs in every reception picture. Your chairs are everywhere.

[Raina Greenberg]

There's more chairs than people.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Someone posted a wedding this weekend, and it's not from a planner. It's a personal connection. So it's not. No vendor. I'm not throwing a vendor under the bus. Absolutely gorgeous wedding. Gorgeous background, gorgeous florals, the most heinous chairs. And I literally was like, all I'm staring at is the chairs. Yes. All I'm staring at is the chairs. And who. Who needs to get fired?

[Raina Greenberg]

But what do they look like?

[Jacqueline Elise]

They were old school, like. Like wood. But then they had, like, red leather seats. But every Chili's, it literally looked like, you know, it looked like the, like, Italian. You know, you go to, like, the restaurants with, like, the checkered table. Yeah.

[Raina Greenberg]

Like a red sauce place.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yeah. And you have, like. And I was, like, horrified. I was like, oh, my God. I. I mean, I was just like, no. Like. And by the way, I know the people. And I was like, no, this isn't acceptable.

[Ashley Hess]

Like, there's in all the photos, so.

[Jacqueline Elise]

They'Re in every prominent.

[Ashley Hess]

You guys did a whole Instagram post about chairs.

[Jacqueline Elise]

You literally wrote. You were like, I never knew I needed chairs so badly. But, like, once you saw that post, you were like, oh, my God, they really matter. They really matter. Because then, by the way, if you look at 10 weddings where even the decor was different, it wouldn't look so different if they all had the same chairs.

[Ashley Hess]

Totally.

[Jacqueline Elise]

It's really interesting. And I will get on my high horse about chairs at every, like, every turn.

[Ashley Hess]

Every turn.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Every turn.

[Raina Greenberg]

Anything else in terms of budget that you think people don't even think about? And you're like, oh, honey.

[Ashley Hess]

Well. And people ask, do vendors charge more because it's a wedding? Like, let's talk about the wedding tax.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Okay, so my answer to that is no. You pay more if you're hiring a professional. You pay less if you're hiring an amateur. Okay, long story short, a professional does this full time.

[Ashley Hess]

Here are the prices.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Here are the prices. If that vendor is out of your budget, they're not wrong for charging what's out of your budget. They're just not your vendor. And by the way, I'm the first person to say there is a special place in hell for shitty wedding vendors. And we work with them all the time. Unfortunately, not if we're planning the wedding. But if we're doing, like, a coordination and, like, we're kind of stuck working with them because the client found them without us, we literally are like, I have to stick up for my vendors here and go, no. People charge based on their experience, based on their professionalism, based on the product. They're giving you the quality that they're delivering nobody. And if they're professional, that all they do is this. So, like, they're not going wedding. More like a wedding photographer is not paying their bills shooting, like, someone's like, first birthday party. Do you know what I mean?

[Raina Greenberg]

Absolutely. And you get what you pay for. A photographer that is featured in Vogue is going to charge you more money. That's just thousand percent. They have ascended to a certain level, and it is what it is. And it doesn't mean you can't find amazing amateur photographers and we've seen. Seen the gamut of everybody, but we generally get what we pay for.

[Ashley Hess]

I think one thing I realized, and I think this is like a reflection on yourself if you're the bride, is like, just think about your personality and what you want. Like, I realized I'm an indoor bride, and I want to get married indoors. And I don't want to have to worry about the weather or the wind. I mean, we have been to weddings where you cannot hear the vows because it's so windy and the hair is blowing and it can get windy here, and it's. It's less about, like, it's pouring rain. And we have a backup plan. And I can live with both, which I think is fine too, if you're chill enough for that, live your truth. But I think I thought I might get married, just not the reception. I'm an indoor loud music, party vibe. I knew I would, but for the ceremony, I was like, maybe I want to be outside palm trees. That's the vibe. And I was like, I am not. I'm indoors. I want to look the exact same way from when I come down from the bridal suite to when I'm saying my vows. And it was this thing of like. Like the. The two we were torn between, that was like, one of the things that made the final decision of just like, I'm an indoor girl.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Okay.

[Raina Greenberg]

You know what I'm thinking every wedding that I've gone to of people that got married outdoors. And I'm like, running. I have five off the top of my head. Two of them, it was raining. Two of them. It was so windy.

[Ashley Hess]

Windy.

[Raina Greenberg]

You couldn't even.

[Jacqueline Elise]

If it's sunny and hot, you're like. And the other one, it was a million degrees. Melting, staring at.

[Ashley Hess]

Staring into the sun.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yes. I've never been to an outdoor wedding that I was like, this was a great idea. The bride, the groom is dripping in sweat.

[Jacqueline Elise]

You're all wet.

[Raina Greenberg]

I went to one that it monsoon the whole day. So we had to walk through a swamp to get to the thing in stiletto heels.

[Ashley Hess]

And it can be gorgeous. And I mean, my brother.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I mean, you are literally preaching to the actual corner I've ever met.

[Ashley Hess]

My brother lucked out.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yes.

[Raina Greenberg]

The only one.

[Ashley Hess]

They had amazing weather. It was April in April. But I was. I was sweating in my outfit. But that was. That's irrelevant what I chose to wear.

[Jacqueline Elise]

But it's just like we did all black.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. I knew what. I knew what I was doing, but.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Right. That was her fault. She Takes accountability. It's just. I'm not.

[Ashley Hess]

I'm not knocking it. Go ahead and do it.

[Jacqueline Elise]

It's the dream. It doesn't work out. Here's the problem. The problem is, is if you're a chill bride and you're like, okay, so of course, whenever we're planning a wedding that has an outdoor anything, there always has to be an indoor backup plan. And, you know, here's the thing. Couples like to. Yes. At the. To death. Yes. Oh, yeah. We'll do it inside if we have to. We'll do it inside if we have to. Come wedding day, their heads are spinning, crashing out. They are full blown crashing out. I literally have looked at someone in the face and said, what are you going to do if it starts downpouring? They go, they'll get wet. And I literally was like, that's so rude. Like, like, that's. So how do you have. How do you have 150 guests sitting outside and you don't care if it starts downpour raining on them? Like, that's. Anyway. But you know what? It's not my wedding. You want to go. You know what? You want to walk down the aisle and have people do that? Let's go start. Cue the music. Let's go. So that's like a planner. We give you advice, we give you suggestions. We even have backup plans. We can't make you listen.

[Raina Greenberg]

That's so true.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Now, if you're a good client and the only reason you should hire a wedding planner is if you plan on listening to them.

[Raina Greenberg]

Sure.

[Jacqueline Elise]

If you plan on knowing at all, do all planners in the world a favor and, like, just do it yourself. Yeah.

[Raina Greenberg]

Hire an assistant. Okay. I have a burning question. Wedding trends.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yeah.

[Raina Greenberg]

Is there anything that you are seeing that you're like, oh, God, no, please don't do this. Like, is there anything that's really hot right now? Are there good trends that you like? Just anything that you're seeing in the trend world.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yeah. So here's the thing. I would say, like, I mean, this is just personal preference. Like, I'm not. I mean, not to, like, like, dog myself here, but, like, I'm not a super trendy person. I'm a little bit more classic. I'm a little bit more like, when something is becoming trendy, like, let's not dive. Like, we can maybe dip a toe in, like, the disco ball thing. I actually. I actually kind of. I love disco balls. I think it's cool. But let's not do 7, 000 disco balls.

[Ashley Hess]

Okay.

[Jacqueline Elise]

You know yeah, maybe let's do a couple. Maybe like, a disco ball drinkster or like a disco ball. Something like, let's do, like, let's find, like, little ways to incorporate trends instead of, like, making it like a theme park.

[Raina Greenberg]

What you're talking about is a theme, right?

[Jacqueline Elise]

Well, people do it. That's a trend. People do it.

[Raina Greenberg]

What do you think about themes? Did you consider doing a theme and, like, what would the theme be?

[Ashley Hess]

I have a theme.

[Jacqueline Elise]

You have guides. Me. Do you have an atmosphere?

[Raina Greenberg]

No, I mean, a themes. Like New York City is a theme.

[Ashley Hess]

No, it's not a theme party.

[Jacqueline Elise]

So creating adjectives and putting a vision together is different than, like. Like, you're coming to a ballroom in Los Angeles, and we're gonna have, like, New York City street games as, like, your table.

[Raina Greenberg]

Right. The metro card is the table.

[Ashley Hess]

Right.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Which, by the way, people, we have clients who we've done it for.

[Ashley Hess]

You know what I mean?

[Jacqueline Elise]

Like, we've. We've done all of it, and it's fine and it's. And, you know, at the end of the day, if you love it, that's all that matters. Yeah. That is truly all that matters. I don't really care what anything looks like. Even from, like, I will say a lot of, like, luxury wedding planners, really make sure that the aesthetic of the couple matches their aesthetic. Like, we actually. I don't care if you love it.

[Ashley Hess]

I love it.

[Jacqueline Elise]

You want me to plan, I don't know, people swinging from the chandeliers. Like, we'll plan it. I wouldn't do that at my wedding. But if you want to do it at first, let's go. There's one, like, one that I really find funny is, like, they have, like, the girls with, like, the skirts, and they have, like. They're serving, like, champagne, and they're on, like, stilts, and I'm like, I don't know. I don't want anyone on stilts.

[Raina Greenberg]

I like this. No, I like this, like, the great gag theme for less over the top.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yeah, it's like a great Gatsby party.

[Ashley Hess]

I mean, and some of that, like, I want to incorporate some elements that.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Make it feel like a really, like, a party vibe.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Jacqueline Elise]

And there's so many ways to do that. You know, there's also ways to, like, you know, flip. Flip the atmosphere. Like, it's really calm and cool up until a certain point, and then, like, you know, we transition into the big party or whatever it is. I actually would say the biggest trend I'm seeing, which I personally love, is Cocktail style reception, which is like, not a seated dinner. Not a seated dinner.

[Ashley Hess]

I'm not doing a seated dinner.

[Jacqueline Elise]

So I want to talk about it. It's gonna be. You walk in to the reception, it's party time.

[Ashley Hess]

Let's party.

[Jacqueline Elise]

There will be food, plenty of it. There will be drinks, plenty of it. There will be staff, plenty of it. You will have a table and a seat to go to. Okay? But you will eat when you want to eat. You will dance when you want to dance. You will mingle when you want to mingle. And that's what. That's how this is gonna go.

[Raina Greenberg]

So I think that the old. It's a little more old fashioned.

[Ashley Hess]

I love what you're doing.

[Raina Greenberg]

I'm so excited about it. I think old. Like, when I was planning my wedding, my mom was like, you have. There has to be like a flow to this. You must give people an hour to sit down. And I don't enjoy that as much.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Well, I think what it is, a lot of people have think about, like, depending on the age range of the couple, you have like wedding fatigue. Like, if you are 35 and you've. For the past 10 years, you've been going to seven weddings a year, you've been to the same. Get to the venue, wait for the ceremony, Then you get a glass of champagne after you waited a half an hour, right? Then you get one piece of cheese. Like, do you know what I mean? I mean, I will give new. Listen, we do plan most of our weddings. New York City, New Jersey, Louisiana. We do do destination weddings and all. All around the country. We've done weddings in Dallas and Florida and Lake Tahoe and whatever. But mainly we're California, we're East Coast, west coast, like California, Santa Barbara, Napa Valley to la, Malibu, whatever. And New Jersey. New York, I will say, like New Jersey. If there's one thing about a New Jersey wedding is their cocktail hours are like. It's like the Hunger Games games. It's like you're in the capital. It's like you are it like you've never seen so much food in your entire hours long. It's an hour to an hour and a half long. But it's like when you get like shrimp, it's like from the floor to the ceiling. Like, my. It's absurd. It's grotesque. It's amazing. You're like, it's grotesque.

[Raina Greenberg]

I'm like, that's the best wedding I've ever been to.

[Jacqueline Elise]

It's grotesque and it's amazing at the same time. So Anyway, like, they don't do that in California. Right. So like, so there are so many different. And actually in the south, like if you go to a wedding in New Orleans, they oftentimes also don't do sit down dinners. So it really very. Like, there's a lot of like regional specific traditions and trends. But I think going back to really quickly, like couples, let's say you've been going to weddings for 10 years and you have just, you have like wedding fatigue. Like every wedding feels the same. Insert a different like centerpiece piece. Right. Ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner, dance, go home. Right. And I feel like a lot of couples are coming to us and being like, how can we make this unique? How can we do this differently? So there. We've had so many weddings over the past, I'd say like three years where we haven't even had chairs out for a ceremony. We've had people like gather around like a big staircase and like the couple stands on the staircase and it's a ten minute long ceremony.

[Ashley Hess]

That's how you know it's gonna be quick if you're standing.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yeah, exactly. It's gonna be quick. But they danced for an hour and a half before the ceremony.

[Ashley Hess]

Ah, I love.

[Jacqueline Elise]

We did the ceremony in the middle. So the ceremony wasn't first.

[Ashley Hess]

This is so fun.

[Jacqueline Elise]

They walked into the wedding and the band was rip roaring it out. This was an amazing band. It was this unbelievable Latin band. Like 15 person Latin band. Oh my God. There was incredible. I mean, people were on the dance floor before they got their first drink.

[Ashley Hess]

That's what I want it to be like.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yeah, it was incredible. So this is so. But this is an experience that you.

[Ashley Hess]

Don'T get at most weddings.

[Jacqueline Elise]

So like. And you don't have to even follow that formula. It's just one. Right.

[Ashley Hess]

But I think this is what you have to ask yourself. Like, I didn't want this stuffy formal program. It can feel really forced. We are still going to have some people speak. It's not going to be too much. I mean, there is nothing worse than like an hour of speeches from amateurs who have never held a mic. And you're just like, what are we doing? And then you get your courses. And I know this, like, I don't want to offend anybody because it's whatever you want. But like, you just have to ask yourself this the same thing as the indoor versus outdoor. Like, what do you want it to be? And again, sometimes your parents are paying and they make the decision, but.

[Jacqueline Elise]

So that's a tough.

[Ashley Hess]

That's not my story. And I'm. This is exactly how I want it to be. And I was like, I want it to feel like a party and anything but, like that formal structure. And you were so great with. We talked about some things and some things I was like, that sounds crazy to me. Can you. Have you done this? Does it work? And you're like, yeah, this is how we're going to do it. And Jacqueline, she's like, brought in some crazy ideas. We're gonna have some like, lounge seating. You're gonna die. And so, like a green velvet couch. You're gonna die. And so there's just not her telling all of our secrets.

[Jacqueline Elise]

No, no. I just, I love. I cut it.

[Ashley Hess]

I meant to cut it.

[Raina Greenberg]

I, like, not the normal. I just, I. Sometimes I'm like really getting into it at the cocktail hour. I'm having so much fun. And it's like, okay, it's time to separate everybody now and go to your studio.

[Jacqueline Elise]

And you're like, wait, we were just having fun.

[Raina Greenberg]

I was having a great time. And now I have to sit here and be served. I mean, I'm gonna talk such hard shit with you about weddings I've gone to. I mean, I slept through a dinner once.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Do it after a dinner. First of all, I'll add you to the company group chat because that's, that's the, that's the final boss.

[Raina Greenberg]

I sat through a two plus hour dinner at a wedding and they just kept clearing and serving. And I think it was really important to her to like, have great food. And the food was great, but I was like, can we.

[Ashley Hess]

And now we're supposed to dance. After all that, I. I went home. I need a nap.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I went home. You need a nap?

[Raina Greenberg]

I did go home. I had to go. I had to go somewhere. The next day I was done with the.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Believe it or not. Like, we have couples that come to us and they're like, hey, so like my family, like, they're not big dancers, we're not big dancers. So we do want the experience to be like a three hour long dinner. And we're like, okay, like so. And then there are people who are like, we want this to feel like a party. And like, it's, you know, and it's great. And. But see, that's why we love our job, is what we do. And why the experience has to be so personal and so catered. And it's one of the reasons why pricing can't be the same for everyone because everybody wants different things. Everybody, like, request different things. And some things take, take longer to plan or shorter to plan or it's more difficult to plan or there's more details to plan. And so there's no black and white cut and dry answer to anything. But I will say circling back to if you're good at communicating with your planner or your partner, if you're not planning on using a planner, which is also fine. You know, my analogy for that is like, listen, you don't have to use a wedding planner. The world wide web exists. You can Google people, right, and find vendors. Number one, you're going to be shooting in the dark, looking for like a needle in a haystack. Or if you work with a wedding planner, we can you tell us what you want and like, like we are laser focused and find that vendor. But the other thing is I always say, I'm like, listen, I cook my, my own dinner a lot and it never tastes as good as when a chef cooks it. Do you know what I mean? Like I, whenever I cook dinner, I'm always like, oh, you know what I'm gonna do next time I'm gonna add a little bit of this or I'm gonna take a little bit of that. Like, you don't get that chance in like wedding planning.

[Raina Greenberg]

I mean like you could do anything you want. And it's on a very small scale. But like I planned a three day festival for my birthday.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I wish I saw and was incredible and looked insanely fun. I was stalking her and Taylor.

[Raina Greenberg]

I wish she would have been involved. I wish she would have been involved because listen, I enjoyed it and I love that kind of stuff. And I'm very organized, I'm very professional. And Ashley and I have been planning live shows for so many years. I'm good at it, but I enjoyed it a little less because I was in charge of everything and I had to like do all the planning.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Totally.

[Raina Greenberg]

I had to make sure I was the point person for when am I showing up. What? Like just. It was a lot on me and I loved it. It was the best weekend of my life. But I could have enjoyed it 20% more by spending a little more on a coordinate weekend.

[Ashley Hess]

Okay, so let's wrap up with a little tea.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

Okay. So what do you see the biggest conflicts that arise in the wedding planning process? Not like vendors, like more like with the families. Is it couples, you know, budget, obviously. But what do you see?

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yeah, I mean, biggest conflicts are always like, always the family. It's always the family. So if you think about it, when we're doing consultations. We're typically meeting with the couple who we're not meeting with are their families. So we have had times where we've worked with a couple for two years, a year and a half a year. And the couple's amazing.

[Raina Greenberg]

Okay?

[Jacqueline Elise]

And we show up, like, wedding weekend, and their parents are monsters. Like, absolutely.

[Raina Greenberg]

Are they the ones who created the budget?

[Jacqueline Elise]

Like, not some yes, some. No.

[Raina Greenberg]

That's not why I'm asking you. I'm just asking, like, should people. If you're like, my mom's paying for this whole thing and she's all these, then include her in the meetings rather than putting you in the position.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yeah. So we've also. We've even had scenarios where, like, partners, whether it's someone's fiance, like, hey, I don't really want to be a part of wedding planning. I'll let this partner be, like, work with the planner and come up with the decisions. And then on wedding, they'd be like, like, why is this happening? Be like, well, you weren't part of this, so, like, you now, like, you've lost the right to have an opinion. Now you just do have to do, like, what we kind of tell you to do, which, of course, we have ways around it. We now make sure at least the partner, the fiance, even if they're not part of planning, we make sure that they fully understand the execution, the plan. Like, where our team's going to be, where other vendors are going to be. But I'd say conflicts are really big. I mean, the T is we see a lot with divorced families, especially if, like, Adan's bringing, like, a new chickadee around. Like, that is always hard to manage. And, like, we become therapists.

[Raina Greenberg]

So I was wondering, are you, like.

[Jacqueline Elise]

The therapist situation 100%.

[Raina Greenberg]

And what do you say?

[Jacqueline Elise]

You know, we try to keep.

[Ashley Hess]

We.

[Jacqueline Elise]

What we try to do is really make sure we focus on the couple. We're like, this is about you. We're gonna remove these people from your orbit, right? We're gonna bring them into this room. Or, you know, we try to, like, give our couple, like, a safe space. They'll be around you for three pictures, and then we can, you know, shove them back off in the crowd again or, like, whatever it is. So we try to just stay really positive. We try to. We try to understand family dynamic. I mean, part of the planning is tell us about your family dynamics, you know, or Uncle Joe and Aunt Susie going through a nasty divorce. Like, are we gonna have, like, candlesticks flying across the Table. Which has happened.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I've had mothers of the brides, like, crying in the bridal suites with me because they're watching their ex husband with like their, you know, secretary, you. And I'm like, so, like. Yeah, I mean, we've seen it all. We've seen nasty fiances with each other. We've seen parents. We've seen just. Just people who are like, irrational, I would say. I feel like weddings either bring out the best or the worst in people.

[Ashley Hess]

I'm curious. You've seen it all.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

But everybody wants to know if you feel like there are signs along the way for sure that they are not gonna make it. Whether it's in the planning process or.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Even on the wedding day, all you have do to. First of all, if you want to know if you're marrying the right person, just ask your wedding planner. No, no, I mean, I'm dead serious. Like, I actually dream about starting like a relation. Like, I wish I was a therapist because I could easily be like a relationship like, therapist put us in coach. Like, you just send them to us.

[Raina Greenberg]

Three of us can do it together.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Like a thousand percent. Like, even like a relationship podcast. I would foam at the mouth to like, to just focus on that.

[Raina Greenberg]

Tell us all the towels.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Okay, so I will say this. The hardest part is when you see one person who's clearly has the power and the other person shrinks. And that's heartbreaking. Right. You're watching. And there have been times where we've wanted to like, shake and be like, please don't marry this person. Obviously, obviously we've never done that. There have been times. We've certainly wanted to. Yeah. It's hard when you see people just not being treated nicely, you know, because again, we spend a lot of time with these people. So we see when their mask kind of falls. We see when they're stressed out, whether it's about money or whether it's about family or whatever. Like, we really get to see you.

[Raina Greenberg]

Have a front row seat to. How do. How do you guys make decisions as a couple and handle conflict?

[Jacqueline Elise]

What's more important than how they communicate with each other? How they handle just differing of opinions of differing of how they prioritize their family members. And, you know, are they aligned religiously? Are they aligned to aligned politically? Are they aligned financially? I mean, we get an insight to literally everything after 14 and a half years. We've had more people break up before the wedding than we have divorces.

[Ashley Hess]

I was gonna ask if you've had people break up in the process, definitely.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Okay. We've. Last year. Last year alone, there were, like, six. Are you serious? Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

And, like, far along, not all, but some. And did you see it coming? Have you been blindsided?

[Jacqueline Elise]

There was only one that kind of blindsided us. I'd say five out of the six. We were like, yeah, like, God bless.

[Raina Greenberg]

Like, what were the tells to you?

[Jacqueline Elise]

They kind of just seemed like they didn't like each other. Right. It was. I mean, it's pretty obvious. Like, if you sat down next to them at a bar and you were, like, listening to their data, you'd be like, why are these two people, like, right next to each other?

[Raina Greenberg]

Sometimes people tell us they're getting engaged.

[Jacqueline Elise]

And we're like, why? Right. Like, they just aren't. It's just not compatibility. Compatibility. And they're just not nice to each other and they don't have fun, and they just. They kind of, like, are miserable. Right. And so, like, we, like, five out of the six, I would say we could see ish coming, but the one was like, whoa.

[Ashley Hess]

But if someone asked you, should I marry this person? Would you tell them honestly?

[Jacqueline Elise]

Well, do you want to know what I said? What I would say? Yeah, I would say, first of all, never. This is. This is my rule in life. Never ask a question you don't want the real answer to. So do you want this to be honest, or do you want me to, like, tell you what you want to hear?

[Ashley Hess]

And also, you're asking.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Why are you asking? You're asking, you're asking. So to be really honest, if someone. If a bride or a partner or a fiance came to me and said, should I marry this person, in your opinion? I wouldn't say you should or shouldn't marry them. I would say, here's what I've observed, and use that how you'd like, Which.

[Raina Greenberg]

I think you and I would probably give that same advice too. Like, how do you feel about the way the person speaks to you?

[Jacqueline Elise]

Right.

[Raina Greenberg]

How do you feel about the way it comes off as a little controlling? Do you feel control?

[Jacqueline Elise]

Absolutely.

[Raina Greenberg]

Things like that.

[Jacqueline Elise]

So I. So I never. Even when it comes to planning, we don't tell people what to do. We can tell you what we're observing, or we can tell you what we think is off or what isn't. Right. But, yeah, I'm not going to tell you not to marry them. But I would point it out. I would be honest. Honest to. To an extent, I would be honest.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah. What there used to.

[Jacqueline Elise]

What it used to be like, if.

[Ashley Hess]

They Smash the cake in each other's face. They're not gonna make it. Did you ever see that?

[Raina Greenberg]

If somebody did that to me.

[Ashley Hess]

Do you see?

[Jacqueline Elise]

First of all, if someone did that to me, first of all, we'd be divorced before we got married. Like a room that sprayed his. Yeah. Or his wife with champagne. No, there's absolutely no way.

[Raina Greenberg]

You don't know me at all.

[Jacqueline Elise]

If you've done that. We. You have never met.

[Ashley Hess]

Met me before.

[Raina Greenberg]

I'm, like, wet and I'm sticky now.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I. No, there's. Just to be honest. And actually, in all my years, I don't know if I've ever seen people.

[Ashley Hess]

Aren'T doing that anymore.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Maybe I've seen, like, someone take, like, on their finger and, like, put it on their nose and, like, they kiss it all. I mean, whatever. I mean, maybe I've seen that, but I've never seen. I don't think I've ever seen, like, a smash. A full cake smash. No, I've never seen a full cake. Thank God. I think I would be just. I think I would be horrible.

[Raina Greenberg]

I'd never be that show.

[Ashley Hess]

Have you ever had a couple, like, really have a conflict at the wedding?

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

Just give us one story and then we'll wrap up.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Bride smoked when she was really drunk and she went outside to smoke a cigarette. The groom lost his for smoking. Yeah. He was like, you taste like cigarettes now. And he was like, you know I hate it when you do this. So you couldn't stop, like, on our wedding night.

[Raina Greenberg]

You can't let me do what I.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Want to do, full blown, like, fight at the ball. Like, they didn't, like, go in, like, the bridal suite. And she was like, it's my wedding too.

[Raina Greenberg]

Yeah, I'm on her side.

[Jacqueline Elise]

And it was like. I mean. Yeah. I'm not even saying whose side of. I'm just saying this is what happened. Like, so. Yes, we've had couples fight.

[Ashley Hess]

Well, so that you brought up drinking. And I swear we could talk to you for literal hours. But like, drunk brides and grooms.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yeah. So drunk is actually a little easier to deal with than. I mean, I would say more popularly now is people are super into drunk dogs. Like, at weddings. Like, mushrooms Molly. Like.

[Ashley Hess]

Yeah.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I mean, it's like we've seen literal, like, cocaine out on, like, tables at, like, weddings. And we're just like, what? Like, this is like, not.

[Ashley Hess]

But do you, like, A, do you see a lot of drunk brides? And B, do you advise, like, here's how to kind of manage I mean.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I think over the years, we probably have had 10 really drunk brides. I would say that. I would say, typically, the couples are so busy mingling that, like, they're not like, yes, we have a drink in their hand, but they're not actually, like, finishing their drink and, like, being, like, 10 drinks deep. They're kind of like, you know, you're hugging everyone, you're talking to everyone. You're, you know, you're busy, you're taking pictures, you're this, you're that. So I would say even if people drink, they don't necessarily get drunk. I would say, like, the bridal parties are the ones where, like, they get really wild because they start drinking at 10 in the morning or. And even them, like, with, like, pills or, like, whatever it is they're doing. Like, we've seen people trip out. We've seen. Yeah, I had a bridesmaid once. She was like. Let's say there were eight bridesmaids. She was like, number six. We now, we had done a rehearsal, first of all. So she also knew exactly where to go. But also, if you didn't, you all just watch, like, people in front of you walk down an aisle and go stand somewhere. It's not rocket science, right?

[Ashley Hess]

She literally walked halfway down the aisle.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Like, just stops, turns around, looks at me and screams, where do I go? What? Anyway, I was like, wait, what was she wasting?

[Raina Greenberg]

She was behind her and in front of her.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Apparently, she had taken, like, Xanax, but she was drinking and she was just like, not. And we were just like.

[Ashley Hess]

We're like, follow the other. Go stand with your friends.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Like, there are other girls wearing the same dress as you 10ft away. Like, it's not.

[Ashley Hess]

No, you can see the light.

[Jacqueline Elise]

You can.

[Ashley Hess]

Literally, you're.

[Jacqueline Elise]

You're almost at the end of the tunnel. Like, so close, but you're in a line.

[Raina Greenberg]

There's people behind you and in front of you. There's so many places to look.

[Ashley Hess]

I think she just, like, blurring, where am I?

[Jacqueline Elise]

And there's just this, like, beautiful, like, live, like, violin playing. And she's just screaming, like, where do I go? Now?

[Ashley Hess]

The drinking thing.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I see drunk grooms. We've all seen them, which I, by the way, hate. Hey, I think it's completely disrespectful if.

[Ashley Hess]

You get up there to the altar and you have a hint that you are slurring. You could have had a beer or two, whatever.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Right? A beer or two. Fine.

[Ashley Hess]

Like, if you've been drinking with the boys all day and you are not your full alert.

[Jacqueline Elise]

If you are coherent self enough to drive, you are not sober enough to marry me.

[Ashley Hess]

Breathalyzer. Raina, you better breathalyze him. When we get up there. We're gonna bring one up there.

[Raina Greenberg]

I'm gonna need a Xanax.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

Raina, now you have to walk down.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Halfway the aisle and go, where do I go? Where do I go? Do you know what I mean? Like, I think it's disrespectful, personally. I think it's rude. I think it's disrespectful to families, to friends. You've asked people to travel, to get dressed up, to come celebrate you. And you. What, get. Being drunk was more important to you? Like, that is just red flag city.

[Raina Greenberg]

I'm with you. And listen, I think that people should have fun however they want to have fun. Personally, for me, one of the first questions I asked her was, do you plan on drinking that day? What? You're spending so much money. Don't you want to remember this? Isn't this supposed to be the most important day?

[Jacqueline Elise]

If the two of you want to black out, like, 10K, if that's what you're buying, great, let's do it. Like, I will be the first ones. They're supporting you, handing you the shots, but, like, we got to get through the respectful stuff first. Okay.

[Ashley Hess]

We again could talk to you forever. We'll have you back. Listen, we're gonna go drink.

[Raina Greenberg]

I have so much shit to talk with.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yeah, we could definitely do five more episodes.

[Ashley Hess]

100%. Well, you'll spill the tea on my wedding.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Perfect. You'll come back, we'll do a post wedding.

[Raina Greenberg]

We'll talk about how I did. We'll focus on me mostly.

[Ashley Hess]

Let's do it.

[Raina Greenberg]

My trauma at the wedding.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Okay.

[Ashley Hess]

So I'm sure everyone's like, what's a planner cost? And that's again, not a black and white answer. Use your T shirt. Example applies here. But if we want to give them an idea.

[Jacqueline Elise]

So I think it's important. Again, let's go back to. There's going to be planners that have less experience. There are going to be planners that have. That are newer at it, so they're going to charge less. You could. Can you get a wedding planner for $5,000 to do a certain number of services? Sure. Can you get a planner for $25,000? Absolutely. Can you get a planner for $300,000? Absolutely. And everything in between. I mean, if I told you some of the minimums that people have, you would actually Fall out of your armchair.

[Raina Greenberg]

But it's like the minimums, like $500 or something.

[Jacqueline Elise]

No, for. No, I mean, like, for a wedding planner. Like, they would say, like, your budget has to be a minimum of 1.2 million and my cut is 20% of that. Right. So I would. Right. Okay. I know. So rich people.

[Raina Greenberg]

It sounds New York City.

[Ashley Hess]

Shit.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yeah. Or la.

[Raina Greenberg]

Right.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Right down the street is. Are like three planners that I know right down the street that have that.

[Raina Greenberg]

Right. I forgot about Beverly Hills.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Yes. But I would say here's the. I'll give you the same answer that I gave about the venue. You create your budget, what are you willing to spend? 40 to 50%. No more than 50% should be spent on your venue. A wedding planner should eat up anywhere from 10 to 20% of your wedding budget. Doesn't matter. Now, we don't change our fees based on your budget, but that's how much much you should be allocating based on your budget. So if you start looking for a planner, there's your gauge.

[Ashley Hess]

And then for some venues, for example, I am thinking about where my brother got married. It was a wedding venue. I think probably the coordinator, like, the day of was like, wrapped into the cost.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Is that typically true? Not always. First of all, not every venue has a coordinator. By the way, coordinators and planners have completely different jobs. Right. A coordinator often has never spoken to any of your vendors prior to the wedding day. If a vendor doesn't show up, like, they're not trying to, like, find you another vendor. They're not problem solving if. If you're getting ready at a hotel or a home or an apartment, like, they're not with you. Like, they. They live at the venue and they. Their job is mainly to manage their staff. They're making sure their staff is showing up, their kitchen is running, their bars are stocked. Like their furniture is out. Whatever it is that they are responsible for, the coordinators are more responsible for for their stuff. But they're not managing mom and bridal party and all sorts of things. And the truth is, a good wedding planner and a good coordinator, like, we need coordinators. Like, we need venue coordinators, and we work beautifully with them, and vice versa. We have wedding venues that have amazing coordinators that are like, you need a planner. Because we don't do the things the planners do, and the planners don't do the things that we do. So it's like when you have a planner and a coordinator that understands their roles properly, it is the best support any couple could have.

[Ashley Hess]

Okay.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Got it.

[Raina Greenberg]

I love that I'm obsessed with you. I can't wait.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I want to get married. I can't wait to get married and be planet.

[Ashley Hess]

I can't wait.

[Raina Greenberg]

And I'm so excited for Ashley's wedding.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Oh, my gosh.

[Raina Greenberg]

Best friends the whole day.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I can't wait.

[Raina Greenberg]

I can't wait.

[Ashley Hess]

Well, thanks for coming on and thank you for everything. I love working with you so much and just, you know, being friends, too. We're gonna go have drinks with Taylor.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Absolutely.

[Raina Greenberg]

Remind people where they can find you and your company. And I think you're gonna have enough work work for the rest of your life now.

[Jacqueline Elise]

I hope so. So you can find us on Instagram. We are heweddingplan and company Online. We're the weddingplan and company dot com. It's pretty straightforward. So either our website, our Instagram are probably the two easiest, easiest places to find us. Yeah.

[Ashley Hess]

And we'll link it in the show notes for you guys, of course, as well. And you can find [e-mail] Girls Gotta Eat podcast on Instagram and TikTok. I am Ash Hess. Raina is Raina Greenberg. Subscribe on YouTube. Share this episode with a friend. Seek Jacqueline out when you and her company, of course.

[Jacqueline Elise]

We plan weddings all over the country and all over Europe and Mexico and you name it. So reach out.

[Ashley Hess]

Good luck out there, guys.

[Jacqueline Elise]

So excited for the wedding.

[Raina Greenberg]

We'll see the live stream for Ashley's wedding.

[Jacqueline Elise]

Oh, my gosh, not us. Live streaming the wedding.