Girls Gotta Eat Episode Summary

Episode: What Does a Wedding Cost? (and Other Burning Questions) with Planner Jacquelyn Aleece
Date: September 29, 2025
Host: Dear Media
Participants: Ashley Hesseltine, Rayna Greenberg, and guest Jacquelyn Aleece

Episode Overview

This episode is a deep dive into everything weddings with special guest and top wedding planner, Jacquelyn Aleece. Co-hosts Ashley Hesseltine and Rayna Greenberg blend humor and practical questions as they explore what it really takes (financially and emotionally) to plan a modern wedding—including budgets, trends, music, family drama, and how to avoid turning into a Bridezilla. Jacquelyn demystifies wedding planning, gives insider advice, and shares behind-the-scenes stories from her career, including how to decide what actually matters on the big day.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Ashley’s Wedding Journey and Life Updates

• Personal Wedding Milestones: Ashley reveals dates and sweet coincidences, such as her wedding celebrations starting on the anniversary of when she met her fiancé.
• Busy Social Calendar: Both co-hosts talk about the "second wave" of weddings in their 40s, travel, and hosting duties leading up to Ashley's wedding.
• Dress Drama: A detailed account of Ashley's wedding dress fitting saga, where a panic over a misfit turns into an emotional breakthrough after a dramatic morning Zoom with the London-based designer and a team of experts.
  • Quote: “Who is going to do this on the wedding day? Probably Jacqueline.” — Ashley [11:21]
  • Quote: “This whole time, I mean, it was a real tonal shift from the week before.” — Raina [12:57]

2. The Role and Value of a Wedding Planner

• Differences: Planner vs. Coordinator:
  • Planner: Handles everything from vision to execution, vendors, communications, and logistics for months/years.
  • Coordinator: Often day-of or month-of, bringing together a couple’s plans, but with significantly less ongoing input.
• Why Hire a Planner?
  • Expertise streamlines decision-making, manages stress, and negotiates with trusted vendors.
  • Quote: "When people plan their own weddings, they become wedding planners." — Ashley [15:10]

3. Budget Breakdown and Money Talk

• How Much Does a Wedding Cost?
  • Jacquelyn gives the classic T-shirt analogy: price varies immensely by location, style, guest count, and priorities.
  • Baseline for a “standard, upscale” 150-person wedding in a major city: budget approximately $1,000 per guest; i.e., $100,000 for 100 guests [47:08].
  • Quote: “Can I give one hard answer to everyone’s biggest question?... $1,000 a person, all in.” — Jacquelyn [47:23]
• Budget Tips:
  • Largest line item: venue + food + beverage (allocate 40%–50% max).
  • Biggest way to save: Reduce guest count. “You’re not moving the needle with candles instead of flowers. Only way you save significantly is fewer guests.” — Jacquelyn [52:00]
  • Invitations, decor, and some “details” can be deprioritized if needed (e.g., Ashley skips fancy invitations to save for florals).
  • Quote: “If you’re trying to cut your budget in half—cut your guest list in half.” — Jacquelyn [51:41]

4. Vendor Relationships, Commissions, and Transparency

• Flat Fee vs. Commission:
  • Jacquelyn’s approach: transparent, flat-fee pricing, never taking hidden commissions from vendors.
  • If a planner gets you discounts from preferred vendors, it's because of volume, not a hidden kickback.
  • Quote: “We do not take kickbacks—period. If a vendor offers my clients a discount, it’s because we bring them business, not so I can pocket a fee.” [41:10]

5. Venues: Types, Pitfalls, and Details

• Turnkey vs. Raw Space: “If you want a raw space, be prepared: every chair, generator, bathroom—you’re paying for it. It’s expensive!” — Jacquelyn [60:34]
• Carpeted Ballrooms:
  • Universal wedding planner PSA: carpets are the enemy of design.
  • If you’re stuck with it, “Lean into your carpet. If it’s green, do green linens. If it’s blue, do blue.” [31:11]
  • Quote: “Lean into your dusty carpet.” — Ashley [31:34]
• Chairs Matter:
  • The most underrated design element. “Chairs are everywhere in your photos—don’t skimp!” — Jacquelyn [62:48]

6. Trends, Traditions, and Personalization

• Trends to Avoid & Embrace:
  • Don’t go overboard with themes or “7,000 disco balls”—moderation is key.
  • Regional differences: New Jersey cocktail hours are “grotesque and amazing” with mountains of food; California is more minimalist [73:16].
  • Rising trend: Cocktail-style reception instead of formal sit-down dinners. More mingling, more fun, less formality.
    • Ashley is opting for this!
  • Quote: “I want it to feel like a party, not a stuffy formal program.” — Ashley [74:47]

7. Music: DJ or Band?

• Hot take: DJs are versatile and more professional than bands, according to Jacquelyn (with notable exceptions). Bands are pricey and often divas!
  • Quote: “I always say, I want to hear Beyoncé. That’s what I want to hear.” — Raina [56:29]

8. Family Drama, Conflict, and Therapist Duties

• Planners as Therapists:
  • Planners often have to mediate between couples and families, especially divorced parents/stepparents.
  • Quote: “The biggest conflicts are always the family. It’s always the family.” — Jacquelyn [78:46]
• Red Flags in Relationships:
  • When one partner has all the power and the other shrinks, it’s a sign of trouble. Jacquelyn has seen many couples split before the wedding.
  • Quote: “If you want to know if you’re marrying the right person, ask your wedding planner.” — Jacquelyn [81:33]

9. The Wedding Tax & Vendor Pricing

• Vendors charge based on experience and demand, not because it’s a “wedding.” Professionals cost more because they deliver under pressure, unlike “amateurs.”
• Quote: “A professional does this full time. Here are the prices. If it’s out of your budget, they’re just not your vendor.” – Jacquelyn [64:35]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Guest Experience:
  • “Staff appropriately. You’re hosting people, and you have to think about their experience—if you’re not, you’re not throwing a good wedding.” — Jacquelyn [49:02]
• On Planning Stress:
  • “Weddings either bring out the best or the worst in people.” — Jacquelyn [81:24]
• On Spouse Behavior:
  • (On bad signs during planning): “They kind of just seemed like they didn’t like each other... they just aren’t nice to each other and don’t have fun.” — Jacquelyn [83:36]
• On Cake-Smashing:
  • “If someone did that to me, we’d be divorced before we got married.” — Jacquelyn [85:22]
• On Outdoor Weddings:
  • “If it’s sunny and hot, you’re like [melting]... I’ve never been to an outdoor wedding that I was like, this was a great idea.” — Raina [66:44]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Ashley’s wedding buildup, social calendar, & dress misfit drama: [00:29–13:44]
• The role and necessity of a planner vs. coordinator: [22:22–26:39]
• Budget, cost per guest, and how to prioritize (the 'T-shirt analogy'): [42:13–47:23]
• Why reduce the guest list is the biggest budget hack: [51:19–52:22]
• Commission, transparency, and choosing vendors: [36:35–41:10]
• Venue selection, raw spaces, unexpected costs: [57:34–64:13]
• Chairs and design details matter most: [62:48–64:13]
• Trend talk: cocktail style vs. seated dinners: [71:06–74:47]
• Music: DJ vs. band and pros/cons: [56:02–57:27]
• Trouble signs in couples & family drama: [78:46–83:36]
• Drunk grooms, bridal party chaos, and wild wedding moments: [86:00–88:54]
• How much does a planner cost? [90:49–92:21]
• Coordinator vs. planner roles at the venue: [92:30–93:46]

Closing Thoughts

This episode demystifies wedding planning—balancing the glam and humor with real, sometimes brutal, truths. Jacquelyn Aleece exposes the hidden costs, the emotional rollercoaster, and the glory of personalization, while the hosts keep things relatable and hilarious. The takeaways? Spend where it counts, don’t blindly follow trends, communicate openly, and if you can, work with a pro who actually listens to you (and maybe keeps your family away from open flames and microphones).

Where to Find Jacquelyn Aleece

• Instagram: @theweddingplanandcompany
• Website: theweddingplanandcompany.com

For anyone planning a wedding or just nosy about the behind-the-scenes chaos, this is your essential listen!