75. Giving you boundaries, childcare, and PDA - Give It To Me Straight

Transcript

A (0:00)

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. My OB asked me today. She's like, how's John? And I'm like, oh my God, he's great. He cries every day. She goes, does he? Do we need to. Do we need to worry about postpartum depression? I was like, he's fine. He's just in love.

B (0:24)

And welcome back to Give It To Me Straight.

A (0:26)

I'm Alex.

B (0:27)

And I'm John. And we're your gracious grace, Gracious, gracious host, John.

A (0:34)

I just realized that by the time this episode comes out, it is Halloween and I forgot to make you dress up. So instead I have my spooky glass with skeletons playing pickleball on it, which.

B (0:48)

I like the like felt fabric matted look. I just realized they're playing pickleball.

A (0:54)

I know. I didn't realize that either until I looked at it closely when I was putting coffee in it.

B (0:58)

If we ever had any sort of schedule, I would say, let's go. I have had it in my calendar. Go play pickleball.

A (1:04)

Bring to the court how many pickleball paddles we have. Too unlimited. 6. Feels excessive for people who never play.

B (1:11)

Yeah. I said I played pickleball once and everyone was like, here's your gift. Pickleball. Said like, thanks.

A (1:17)

Twelve pickleball sets later, never played.

B (1:20)

And I have a tennis racket. Cuz when I was in la, we.

A (1:23)

Maybe also only have like two more weeks of decent weather to play.

B (1:28)

Yeah.

A (1:28)

Otherwise we have to wait until May next year.

B (1:32)

We'll just have to go on a.

A (1:33)

Trip just to go to la just to play pickleball. But then we won't get a spot.

B (1:38)

You won't get a court. Because that's why I picked up tennis and I never got to play.

Summary

Podcast Summary

Podcast: Give It To Me Straight
Episode: 75. Giving you boundaries, childcare, and PDA
Date: October 28, 2025
Hosts: Alex and John

Episode Overview

In this lighthearted and candid episode, married duo Alex and John dive into new parenthood, navigating boundaries with family and friends, the realities of childcare (especially with grandparents), and how to negotiate mismatched desires around public displays of affection (PDA) in relationships. They answer listener questions on handling difficult family members, enforcing boundaries, and how to operate as a team when parenting and life get chaotic. The couple’s comedic banter, raw honesty, and genuine affection create a warm, relatable space for anyone navigating similar life stages.

Main Conversations & Insights

Banter and Parenting Realities (00:00–09:00)

The episode opens with playful banter about Halloween and the elusive pickleball schedule, seamlessly transitioning into gripes about gym cleanliness, old-school racquetball, and generational quirks.
Alex discusses watching “The Perfect Neighbor” documentary during late-night feedings, reflecting on how parenthood now colors her reactions—particularly around problematic neighbors and true crime.
John laments that films depicting bad parenting hit differently since becoming a dad:

“Now when I see movies and it’s like, based off like, deadbeat parents, or deadbeat dads, I’m like, how can you be a piece of...” (04:22)
The pair riff on the “weirdness” of acting and how, when you remember it’s all pretend, it can feel cringey—but agree that the magic still works when well done.

Adjusting to New Parenthood (08:00–13:00)

Alex describes the fragmented nature of TV-watching as a new parent:

“What’s hard about being a new parent is, you can only watch things in ten minute increments before you’re needed.” (08:08)
Updates: Alex is cleared by her OB for all postpartum activities (including sex and lifting weights):

“I just got back from my six week postpartum OB appointment, so I’m officially [cleared] for the vajayjay to fornicate again with you...I’m so scared.” (09:45)
Both discuss the nighttime parenting shift, surviving on coffee, and household logistics.

Navigating Boundaries with Family & Childcare (16:04–23:10)

Alex details her first solo outing away from their baby, leading to a bout with mastitis, and the mutual challenges of regaining independence as parents.
John embarks on solo public transportation to NYC, a feat Alex gently teases him for.
They candidly address the natural resentment and jealousy that can arise in even healthy partnerships, particularly around who gets more freedom and downtime:

“It’s really hard for me to not be a little bit resentful that, like, you do get to just take longer time and longer periods. I’m not blaming you...but, damn, I’m jelly!” (17:47)
On communication:

Alex: “That’s where I had to come in and be like, is this because I actually don’t want him to go, or is it because I’m jealous I don’t have the freedom to?” (19:08)

Humor, Mishaps, and Supporting Each Other (20:58–26:27)

Household chaos: muddy dog paws on white couches, wine spills, and baby messes.
John’s nightly “turndown service” ritual—preparing the bedroom for Alex as an act of love (and for his own video-game time).

Alex: “It feels like when the sheets are turned over so nicely and clean, like you got— they feel crispier. I feel more luxurious.” (24:48)

Listener Questions & Advice (32:22–61:17)

Boundaries with Friends & Difficult People (32:22–38:24)

Scenario: Handling a friend’s rude sibling and persistent drama.
- Advice: Don’t feel bad for freezing in the moment; sometimes just being the bigger person is enough. Have an honest talk with your friend.
“I would take a bird’s eye view and just be like, why is there tension here?” (36:05)

Defending Your Relationship Choices (38:24–40:23)

Scenario: Navigating a parent’s critiques of one’s spouse, especially across religious and cultural divides.
- Advice: Prioritize your marriage; don’t pass parental criticism to your spouse—address it directly with your family.
“If anything, this shouldn’t be a conversation you bring up with your husband. It should be with your parents, and you literally say, ‘He is my family now, fudge off.’” (39:07)

Relationship Compromises: Maternity/Newborn Photos Dispute (41:08–43:22)

Scenario: Husband refuses professional photo sessions for privacy/cost.
- Advice: Your feelings are valid. Advocate for yourself; if cost isn’t the issue, schedule the session yourself (even solo with the baby).
“Even looking back on my photos, I always wish I had more...they’re only little for so long.” (41:48)

Navigating Holidays & Family Dynamics (44:04–47:39)

Scenario: Managing expectations and boundaries when a single mom wants to join all holiday celebrations.
- Advice: Alternate holidays, but be compassionate since she’s alone.
John: “Unless you want to go to hell...” (47:44, jokingly referencing always inviting her)
- They reflect on how tricky this balance is: “As a mom, I would want my daughter to be happy... but I’d probably want to smother [her].”

Public Displays of Affection (PDA) Disagreements (49:18–51:24)

Scenario: Partner rejects all PDA; the listener feels rejected.
- Advice: Find a middle ground, clarify comfort levels, and discuss what small gestures would feel affirming.
“You have to discuss with him what he is comfortable with...There are micro movements he could do that make you feel loved.” (50:28)

Childcare & Grandparent Boundaries (53:28–55:10)

Scenario: A mother-in-law repeatedly ignores childcare instructions.
- Advice: Shift to supervised visits and don’t label them as “probation” or “supervised.” Protect your kids, do what feels best, and let the in-law come around on her own.
“If you don’t use your parents for childcare, aren’t all visits technically supervised?” (53:53)

Friendship After Betrayal and Honesty (57:07–60:24)

Scenario: Listener is ostracized for urging a friend to leave her cheating boyfriend.
- Advice: You weren’t wrong for being honest, but recognize people rarely listen until they’re ready.
Alex: “You were being a good friend...but your advice, truly, doesn’t matter—they have to learn that lesson on their own.” (57:07)

Secret Confessions — Sugar Babies & Judgment (61:13–63:12)

Anonymous confession: A single mom supports her family through three “sugar daddy” arrangements.
- Alex: “Girl, get that bag.”
- John: “There need to be more sugar mamas out there.”
- Both treat the confession non-judgmentally, finding humor and solidarity:
  
  “You’re doing the Lord’s work.” (63:00)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On postpartum exhaustion:
“At night is second shift. I have this vein on my eye that pops out when I’ve only slept like three hours.” (10:18)
On mom resentment:
“I just want to say, if anyone else gets a little bit resentful of their husbands and you’re in a very supportive relationship, it’s normal and rightfully so.” (18:57)
On handling parents’ criticism:
“Grow up. You need to have more of a backbone to protect your husband... against your family.” (40:06)
On being the honest friend:
“You were being a good friend, don’t give yourself a hard time. A real friend should tell the person when something is off.” (57:07)

Timestamps for Key Segments

Pickleball, parenting banter: 00:00–05:00
Documentaries, acting, early parenthood: 05:00–10:00
Postpartum recovery & couple dynamic: 09:45–13:00
Leaving baby for first time, independence: 16:04–19:08
Household mess, turndown service: 20:58–26:27
Listener letters/advice begins: 32:22
Friendship boundary scenario: 32:22–38:24
Family boundaries & criticism: 38:24–40:23
Photo disagreement: 41:08–43:22
Holiday family dynamics: 44:04–47:39
PDA negotiation: 49:18–51:24
Childcare w/ in-laws: 53:28–55:10
Honesty in friendships: 57:07–60:24
Sugar baby confession: 61:13–63:12

Final Thoughts & Recommendations

Hydro Jug & Ember Mug: Useful products for new parents who crave warm drinks and next-level hydration.
The tone throughout is humorous yet tender—balancing real struggles with playful support.

Takeaway:
Clear communication, mutual respect, and kindness (for yourself and loved ones) go a long way—whether you’re co-parenting, setting boundaries, or navigating awkward holiday logistics. And being honest, with love and firmness, is always the right move—even if it’s not immediately easy or well-received.

For more candid advice and unfiltered laughs, listen to Alex and John every week on Give It To Me Straight!