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The following podcast is a dear media production.
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If your track record's trash, are you surprised that nobody likes the person you're with?
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I think.
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Who's the problem here? It's you. Welcome back to Good to Be Straight.
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I'm Alex.
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And I'm John. And we're your gracious, gracious, gracious, gracious, gracious host.
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Look at us, John.
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Look at us.
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Matching, matching.
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Look at comfy clothes.
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Your hair. You didn't style it today or put a hat on. Your hair is poofy.
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Do I look, like, young? Like that young style?
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I don't know fashion?
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So this was just like, towel dry.
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Oh, you mean, like, does your hair look young? No, I don't think so. I think you'd have to have that, like. Like, broccoli head mullet look.
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Oh, I honestly, I wish I was young enough to do that. Like the mullet. I wish I could rock that.
A
I think it looks fun. I think it's your hair. I mean, it's fine.
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Yeah.
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Yeah. Like, you're. You just have the thickest hair I've ever.
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So you're saying I should not grow it out? What do you want from me?
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You have to do whatever makes you happy and makes you confident. Like, I don't listen to you when it comes to.
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I don't tell. I don't have any. Anything to tell you.
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How your hair was cut two times ago was really nice.
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I don't remember.
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I probably have pictures. We literally take photos every day.
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Send it to me so I could be like, do this again.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, I'll do that.
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But I need to keep it long so I can go anyway. It does.
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Anyway. How's your week been, John?
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Weeks been. I feel. I feel better than just in general because we've. We're productive. I don't know. It was stressful. The week was stressful. But we got a lot of shit done. Thanks to your mom helping out.
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Yeah.
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I don't know. I feel. I feel like there's a little light. A little light at the end of the tunnel.
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It's like we're making baby steps.
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Yes.
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Pun intended. Literally taking literal baby steps to. To finding some form of a routine. And are we getting a little bit more sleep maybe? I don't know.
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No.
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No, I don't think so.
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Last night we got a little sleep, but besides last night, the trick is.
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Going to bed earlier, at least for me. But my postpartum sweats are still so bad. My hair is like. I. One night I changed the sheets. Everything One night of. Of how soaked that I make my pillow mold. Like, that's not normal.
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She goes, is that mold? I'm like, no, I think that's just your.
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You're like. I think that's just, like, the stain.
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From, like, your hair, your makeup.
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No, I don't wear makeup to bed.
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Well, sometime, I don't know.
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I haven't worn makeup to bed. I wash my face every night. I haven't worn makeup to bed since I was a party day piece of. Yeah. Back in party taste. Oh, my gosh. And so I'm like, this isn't my mascara.
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I know mold grows that quick.
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Or like, mildew. That's disgusting. So, yeah, now I'm like, so we.
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Need to put a. You know, we should put it in our room. Maybe this will help. We have it in the nursery, which.
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No, that's a humidifier.
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Because I think you want your room moist.
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I think, oh, my God, we don't know anything. Maybe this is what our problem is. But anyway, my hair, my head, like, just soaked in disgusting. So I just. I change my pillowcase every night now, and I put a towel down. It's so gross. So that's fun.
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That was fun. Yet. Why are we wearing matching outfits?
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Oh, yeah. So I wore a beige set when we went upstate. People were like, where is it from? And then the brand sent us this other set, this new set. And matching it is called. I don't want to mispronounce it, but it's Luna. Luna.
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L, U, N, Y A.
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Yes. So comfy, cozy. And because I feel like we're getting into the holidays, we were like, let's do a foresty green and we'll match, like, matching PJs even.
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I'm not, like. I'm not like, a huge fan of, like, matching, but why not?
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Why not?
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Whatever. Because I don't have green. I like green. Yeah.
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No, and they're just. This is the coziest set.
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It is very comfortable. A little big, though, for me because I should have got a medium.
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Well, I did. I ordered it for you.
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So speaking about sizes, now that I have had your mom and my mom and then your mom talk about my. My, My weight to me. Did I say on the last one, my mom said when I picked her up from the airport?
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I don't think so. Or I don't remember. You could have on when I picked.
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Up my mom from the airport when she came to visit, like last week or two weeks ago, whenever that was, she looks at me and she goes, wow, Your eyes look like they're sucked back into your head.
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Wait, didn't you say that someone commented that on a video of yours where they were like the bags on his eyes couldn't get deeper?
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Oh, yeah, but when mom said that, she's like, did you lose weight? I'm like, yeah, I guess.
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Oh, this is about weight. Not the fact that, like, you have.
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No life or that too, or I'm just dead inside.
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Because to me, your mom's comments, like, is saying that you're tired, not that you've lost weight.
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Well, your mom's comment to me today was she's like, john, are you okay? You look skinny. I'm like, what the fuck?
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My mom has literally. And she'll listen to this. The amount of times that she's told me I look malnourished, I'm like, I'm number one. The life is being sucked out of me.
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Think, Jed. Look at our fridge. We have nothing in our fridge.
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So, guys, wait. We did actually hire my mom to, to not only come on to help with Lucy because we were like, we need more help. So, like, let us pay you because it'll make us feel better about taking advantage.
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I won't feel bad being like, yeah.
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Taking advantage of your time. But we also asked her to cook for us.
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Like, please.
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We just don't have.
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Just for dinner.
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Just for dinner. And just a few nights a week. Yeah, because we, we love cooking. But we find ourselves getting to the end of the night and we just like, want to order in. And I don't want to, I don't want to get into the habit of just ordering in.
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I mean, we haven't. I'm still cooking.
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I know, but we're not happy about it. And it's like the. I don't want to. I'm not shitting on your cooking. It's just like last minute meals.
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It's stir fry stuff all the time. But I don't want to eat that late. It's like 8 o' clock now. I got like agita and shit because I'm old.
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That's so true. John is like, I have had so many Tums. I have, my God.
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Rushing, falling apart. I'm crying. And then in the morning when like, Lucy wants to, like, do. When we like take her out of the bath and I put her on my chest like the, the last like 45 minutes of our sleep time in the morning, I'm like, I could feel the food going up my throat because she's just pushing down on my chest. Oh, my God. I don't know. Yeah. Maybe I have something wrong.
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Well, when you did get a colonoscopy, they told you to lay off the hot sauce.
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Was like, three years ago.
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Okay, I'm not putting that kind of.
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I'm not crushing hot sauce anymore.
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You probably. But, like, let me go back to.
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What your mom said. So your mom tells me. She's like. She what? You, like, do you. Are you okay? I'm like. And I actually have lost weight. I am down to my wedding weight.
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Yeah.
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But that's muscle mass crazy.
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We're losing muscle. That's why I'm not lifting.
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Like, I was whittling away.
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Yeah. Like, my legs have never been. And I. I don't. I want to have thick thighs. Like, I pride myself in having strong, muscular legs. They're literal twigs.
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Now we're the same size exactly.
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I don't know. I probably can't squat. Give.
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Give ourselves grace.
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We're trying. We're still.
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I'm still working out every day, and you're working out for the most part every other day.
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But we're getting enough steps in every day.
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That's the other thing. I don't have enough strength. Like, I'm too tired to lift weights. Like, I'll just go on the StairMaster and just play on my phone. Mindless. Because it's all.
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Feels like thousand pounds in the middle of the night when you lift her up. She's a unit, which I actually wanted to talk about. And I feel like new parents and parents in general probably have these thoughts because I got drinks with my friend Danielle the other day, and we were talking about this, where your intrusive thoughts when you have a baby just take over. Like, I am holding her, and I walk by the stairs, and there's, like, the banister in my brain. I'm like, I hope I don't throw her over the banister. Or, like, if I'm going to the car, I'm like, I hope I don't smack her head up against the door. Like in. I've just envisioned these things.
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Do you think that's, like, a defensive mechanism, like, for your body to, like, know, like, pay more attention, Pay more attention, make sure that this doesn't happen.
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Or, like, when I'm walking down the stairs, I'm like, don't slip and drop and put her head first.
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Yeah.
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But I envision it happening. And then I, like, end up holding her tighter, and I'm like, what if I just. What if my reflex was to just toss her over that's like intrusive thoughts.
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Like when you would say, like, would grab a knife out of dishwasher right there. I just stabbed him in the back.
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I know, cuz I've thought about that too with Kobe, where like, I'm feeding him and I'm like, what if I just like bonk you in the head.
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With the thing about Kobe, like at night when I'm petting him, what if he just turns. Just rips my face off?
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Oh, like if he choose that.
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That video, the video you sent me, I saw another person talking about it.
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About their dogs attacking their kids. Yeah. Kobe 100% thinks that Lucy is just a squirrel. Like she. Her noises are of a small animal. And so I. I love Kobe. I don't think that he would do anything, but like, nobody thinks that their dog would do anything.
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Not for nothing, dude, I don't know how people are gonna feel about this, but doesn't matter. If you had a dog for 10 years or one year and you could trust dog, it's still an animal.
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Right?
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You have to watch your animal around your kids. Your kids are with an animal, like getting in their face, petting them. Whatever, whatever. And like, especially if your dog's older, either way, it doesn't matter. Like, you need to monitor that situation at all times.
A
Yeah.
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So I just feel. I just feel bad. I feel bad for that family. I feel bad for that girl. I hope her stitches heal. And it's just, I think everyone needs to do their due diligence having a kid.
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You just have to be 100 alert 100% of the time.
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Always head on a fucking swivel, man. Swivel a swivel.
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This episode is sponsored by Minky Couture. You will never want to buy another blanket again. And I am so serious. Once you've had a Minky Couture blanket, everything else feels like sandpaper.
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True.
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It is just like so buttery smooth. We also, every time we take Lucy's updated month photos, we put her blanket. They're so soft and luxurious. It's like cuddling with a cloud. And listen, I've tried a lot of blankets. I have, I've purchased them from every, all, all the places. Nothing, and I mean nothing, compares to a Minky. They have the biggest selection of colors, sizes and patterns out there. Whether you want something neutral for your living room or a bold print that screams main character energy, they have it. And they're the creators of the original hugs blanket. A stretchy, plush, double sided blanket that actually hugs you back. I Didn't know blanket could give you emotional support until I met this one. What I love more is that Minky Couture is a female owned business started by a mom who just wanted to give her daughter a little comfort during a tough time. And they give back in such a big way. Donating over 30,000 mini minkies to NICUs across the country every year.
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That's awesome.
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So yeah, it's not just the best blanket ever, it's comfort with a cause. Go to softminky blankets.com and use code straight for 50% off all full priced items. That's softminky blankets.com code straight for 50% off the blanket that's about to ruin every other blanket for you. Give the gift of Minky this holiday.
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Season and this podcast is also sponsored by Clean Safe Products. You ever look around your house and think how did it get this gross? Yeah, same we got a baby, a dog and me. Which honestly might be the biggest mess of them all. Facts Our couch went from Cozy Cream to Mystery beige in about a week. Enter Clean Safe Products and their green Mitt kit. The easiest way to make your fabrics look brand new in five minutes or less. And if I could do it, anyone can. The process is literally spray wipe, rinse the mitt, repeat. If you can clean a kitchen counter, congratulations, you're qualified.
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Easy.
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It works on everything. Couches, carpets, car seats, wool rugs. Even those dry clean only things your wife swore you wouldn't ruin this time. And the best part? It's non toxic fragrance free and made with just three ingredients. No harsh chemicals, no bleach spots, no sticky residue that makes stains reappear like ghosts of Pinot Noir Past. Like how I said that except for.
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Our couch it would be Espresso Martini past because that's what I've dumped a whole.
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Yeah, I don't want to. I don't even want to think about that.
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But you can't even see it.
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It's safe for kids, pets and anyone who eats snacks on the couch while claiming they don't. Alex. Plus one bottle of concentrate makes up to 16 full size bottles so it lasts forever. Which is great because our dog seems committed to testing the limits of science. Yeah, seriously. It removes the spots and the stress that comes with having nice things in a messy household. So try it risk free with their 30 day money back guarantee. Go to Clean SafeProducts.com straight right now for $15 off the green mitt kit. That's Clean SafeProducts.com straight for $15 off the world's easiest soft service cleaning solution.
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This episode is brought to you by Neiman Marcus, your home for the most exceptional gifts. Okay, let's be real. Holiday shopping is basically a sport. True. And I've learned that if I don't start early, I end up panic buying a random candle and calling it sentimental. I mean, to be fair, I do love candles, but that's what you end up getting everybody when you don't know what to get them. But at Neiman Marcus, they make it so easy to actually find something special for everyone on your list. They've got everything. Gourmet goodies, beauty must haves, the chicest kids clothes and toys, and yes, the covetable it bags that you pretend you're just looking at. I see you, Bottega. If you love scrolling their holiday gift guides, it's like having a personal shopper who actually gets you. Even the people who are impossible to shop for, they're covered. And if you need extra help, Neiman Marcus style advisors make finding the perfect gift at any price totally effortless. And let's not forget about their legendary fantasy gifts. You know, the ones that are so over the top that you have to read them out loud to your partner. Like, babe, should we just skip presents this year and buy a private island?
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Let's do it legit.
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So besides, you know, me being malnourished.
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Us looking like we have no soul in our eyes.
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So we had a really busy week. And then Alex, I made it a point. I was like, Saturday, family time. Let's just. Let's just hang out. So we at our house, we hung out. And still I feel like we were so productive on that day of hanging out.
A
Well, I think just having a kid, it's inevitable that there's just always going to be tasks to do because, like, she's spitting up somewhere, laundry has to be done, she's pooping her pants. Like, there's. No matter what, there's always going to have to be things that need to be done. But the weather is beautiful. I felt like for a day in November, oh, my gosh, it was just like a beautiful fall day. We walked outside, it was nice. We brought Kobe. He was able to do it with his.
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What else? What else did we do? I did, like, a cooking video.
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We watched. We were like, oh, we're gonna watch Harry Potter. But instead, we binge watched Hunger.
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I got sucked into Hunger Games. We still have one movie left. One and a half. No, one and a half. We're on part one.
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Oh.
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I was like, damn, that was a.
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Moment in time back when those were coming out.
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You just think about, like, the residuals Jennifer Lawrence is making off of those. And I'd also want to sidebar. What's his name?
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PETA.
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Thor's brother. Gail.
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Liam Hemsworth.
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Yeah. I want to know how much money he made off these movies. The whole time. Go ahead.
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The whole time John is watching it, he's just like, I could play this part.
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I could play this part.
A
This guy has two lines, which, like, to be fair, when you actually watch the movie, he doesn't have that many lines. So I wonder how much he actually makes.
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Got a couple lines, and he shoots that crossbow missile at the. The spaceship.
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Spaceship.
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Perfect. Sign me up. It's like when we watched. When we went to the premiere for Rebel Moon.
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Yeah.
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This girl, like, stole the show on the red carpet. I was like, wow, she must have been, like, a big part. She had one part, and it was her, like, going down in flames. But everyone was, like, cheering in the movie theater. I was like, that's what I want. All you need just an epic death.
A
And, like, if you do have less lines in a play, in a movie, in a film, you better bring it home. You better sell that.
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Send it.
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Send it.
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Full send.
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No, but one of my favorite games that we play. And I love it because I even, like, tested you on it when we were watching Hunger Games. Because we haven't done it in a while. But I'll just start. Because obviously, we're old. We're millennials. So we watch every show, every movie with subtitles on. So I'll read the lines of a character. And I know John. He's going to read the lines.
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Anytime there's, like, a male, female interaction.
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He'Ll always chime in and read the part of the other character. But I just. We hadn't done it in a while. So, like, when Katniss came on, I just, like, started reading the lines. I was just like, peeta, where? And then you. You, without even skipping a beat, come.
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In and you're like, I think about that day.
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Yeah.
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I think about that day all the time. Yeah. When I gave you that loaf of bread.
A
I mean, it's practice for our skits.
B
That's true.
A
Yeah. It's practice for our future films. So stupid. I do want to punch us in the face sometimes.
B
Yeah, like right now we're wearing.
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With our matching outfits.
B
Yeah.
A
Another thing that I wanted to talk about because. Was it last episode or the one before where I talked about how, like, acting is embarrassing? I saw a TikTok specifically of the behind the scenes of Harry Potter before they added special effects.
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Vanderbolt. What's his name?
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Voldemort.
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Vanderbolt.
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Voldemort. And there is nothing more embarrassing than doing special effects. Like for any superhero movie.
B
Dead quiet.
A
Any superhero movie, if you think about it, like Spider man or any Avengers, you're doing these magical acts and you're pretending the whole time. Avada Kadaba.
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I think it's different for guys because Imagination Land, GI Joe's all stuff when we're kids. You're just going back. You're going back girls, too.
A
What do you mean? I know, but superhero movies, like princesses, witches. What do you mean?
B
I'm both. But I just think, like, I could see me getting into it, like, no problem.
A
My niece, literally, like last year, her glitter dust that she was throwing all over me, and me pretending that I'm Princess Glitter Fairy. Like, our brains all go there. Yeah, but I just think that, like, acting is tapping into your childhood where.
B
It'S all make believe, reacting.
A
I mean, that's. That's true too. But I just had to point that out that, like from the one acting class. Think about movies now. Just remember, none of those special effects were there. They added those in after running around with sticks. What other movie were we watching where I was just like, this is really embarrassing. It probably was something in the Hunger Games where, like, things are happening. Oh, you know what it was? It was in the second or the third one when the, like, monkeys are running around and.
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Finnick.
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Finnick.
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Oh, you're talking about for Hunger Games.
A
Yeah, Hunger Games. I just said that. And he's like, fighting off the monkeys. I'm like, who? Yeah, like who? Where are these animated. Yeah. His face was so concerned and he was so focused.
B
Well, if it's old school cgi, they probably had people in green outfits playing the monkeys because.
A
Because Planet of the Apes, Avatar, like, you're planning to, like, make up this whole. This whole world in your brain and believe it. Jurassic Park, Avatar, all these movies, Planet of the Apes.
B
I.
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You know what? Maybe you're a better actor if. I mean, because I couldn't do that.
B
I think you could think about if Someone's working on a project or solely working on that project. Like the guys in Planet of the Apes, they. They had like a special trainer who like practice walking like an ape. And like that's what their focus was, was doing that and like talking like.
A
I feel like the movie Planet of the Apes, you get there, you like don't. I don't want to say don't enjoy, but like have a problem with. Because every when we lived in L. A every time people would come visit, we would go on that hike in like close to Calabasas where they filmed Planet of the Apes. That was like our go to hike. The.
B
It's where MASH was filmed. Yeah.
A
What was that hike called?
B
Oh, God, I don't remember.
A
It was.
B
Yeah, it was near Calabasas, but it was so beautiful.
A
MASH was filmed there.
B
MASH and Planet of Apes because. No, no, the old original plan of the apes. Oh. Because their town was made out like Styrofoam. Whatever. But they couldn't. They left it there for like years and it just kind of like started to dissolve. One other thing that happened. I'm part of a book club now.
A
Okay. What book are you reading, John?
B
The Big Short.
A
Is that for real?
B
Watch the movie.
A
So is it a book club or is it a movie?
B
It's a book club. We talked about the Big Short, how like everything happened. You read 2009. Yeah. You're like Cliff Notes.
A
That's so great.
B
It's really important. So we, we all, a group of guys got together.
A
I'm glad you went on your book club meeting last night because you didn't do my turndown service for bed. But I did also want to point out that when you have been doing it now, it's been been earlier and earlier. Like the other day I went in at like 3:30pm that's because I did.
B
The sheets, because I made the bed. So I was like, I might as well just.
A
I was like, is this guy for real? He's not giving me chocolates anymore. That was a one time thing only. Only I'm sure for the podcast you were like, I'm gonna do it on Monday night.
B
Yeah. Yeah.
A
And then now turn down services at 3:30.
B
I've. Sometimes you're like, I'm gonna go to bed. It's 6pm I'm like, all right.
A
I have not since like she was three weeks old. Gone to bed at 6pm Just go.
B
Do sleep or I'll put you to sleep.
A
But Kobe has chosen his favorite because he really. He Follows Lucy around. Maybe because he does want to eat her, like we were talking about earlier.
B
He follows her around like.
A
Yeah. When wherever she is, Kobe is. And maybe that's what it is. He's waiting for her to.
B
Dogs are like pack animals. They'll just go wherever. He's putting himself to sleep now.
A
Yeah.
B
He's probably shot at night because she's screaming. So he's like, I'm going to bed.
A
I know. The other night she was sleeping. And this is what I also wanted to say. We were talking about the little wins the last episode about, like, getting a booger out of her nose. I almost feel like we need to keep the booger in at night so I can hear her. Her booger whistle. Because I can hear her breathing when she has clear nostrils. I don't know if she's alive or not.
B
Like, triggering for me.
A
I get so close to her and I'm like, I can't hear her if she's breathing. And then I'll like, put my hands on her and. Because she's so swallowed up.
B
Well, you poked her in the nose and woke her up.
A
I know. Because I had to make sure she was alive. I'd rather know that she's alive and breathing than just leave her there. Imagine.
B
No, she's fine. She's a champ.
A
I'm not taking any chances.
B
I'd rather hear her cry than hear that booger whistle. I swear to God, that is the most triggering. That and like, Kobe licking his paw.
A
I feel like we need to leave the booger whistling at just. Just at night, at least for.
B
So that I torture for her.
A
No, it's not. Unless she's crying and complaining about it. She hasn't said that she. That it.
B
She hasn't said. Oh, okay.
A
She hasn't told me that.
B
Mother daughter connection.
A
Yeah, she would tell me.
B
All right. Anything else? Anything exciting? Nothing.
A
Kobe. It's shedding season, and the other day I brush him and the amount of hair that is just exiting his body. That's it.
B
Cool.
A
We're getting him groomed this week, hopefully. I reached out to a mobile grooming company, and if they're not going to.
B
Give you the time of day, go to the next one. I know anyone that's, like, not giving you, like, that service.
A
She's like, I'll send you the schedule. Because I was like, cool, like, what time? And she was like, I'll send it to you a week before. And now it's supposed to be in two days, and I still haven't heard from her weird. And like, I've reached out and she's like, I'll send it to you. I'm like, okay if I'm bop. Sorry for bothering you.
B
Some people shoot themselves in the foot, like, with their own companies. Like, you need to be on the ball.
A
Too busy and, like, you don't need my business. Fine.
B
It doesn't matter. Does not matter. When we had weddings and we booked out on weddings, you were never rude to a client ever.
A
Right.
B
I mean, on top of that, you would recommend. Refer to other people. You went above and beyond. You always have to go above and beyond if you have your own company. Because word of mouth is huge.
A
It's true. Because if someone was like, do you know a mobile grooming company? I'd be like, don't go to these people because they want my money. But they won't.
B
The restaurant, prime example.
A
Yes.
B
The restaurant down the street.
A
Yeah.
B
You're open. You don't sit us. No. You even acknowledge us. I'll never go in there.
A
Right. And then we.
B
I did order food from there, and it was actually really good, though, so.
A
Well, yeah, but you got takeout from there. But it was funny because we had tagged a local restaurant, like, in the area, and then they reached out into your DMs and they were like, come, come into our restaurant. We're like, we have.
B
It was weird how he messaged me. He messaged me. He goes, come to my restaurant. That's all he wrote.
A
I think some people just, like, also don't. Does that communication.
B
No, it's like the Long island typical, like, Italian.
A
I mean, the guy's probably like, come to my restaurant in his 60s.
B
Yeah. But, like, don't try to. Don't. Don't try to strong arm. Act like you're like.
A
That's how you would.
B
Don't be rude.
A
Back in the day. Like, that's how your messages were. You literally said, come meet me or it's over for a date between us. You did. You said, alexandra, meet me at milk.
B
Bar at 1pm so my Italian came.
A
Out, or this relationship is over. And I was like, this is a threat. I'm so turned on right now.
B
And it worked, you know, don't listen to me, whatever. That just rugged me the wrong way, that's all.
A
Oh, his message.
B
Yeah.
A
Yeah. Because you want people to be nice to you and your words of affirmation. So, like, you can give it, but you can't take it.
B
That's a lie. That's a lie.
A
We live in an area where there's a lot of old people and communication isn't the best. But because we live in an area with a lot of old people, nobody knows how to drive. And I want to reach out to the town to get speed bumps. Does that make me old?
B
We're becoming. We're becoming.
A
People drive too fast. But you know what? It's not even just the young kids. It's the geriatrics who just truly flying aren't paying attention.
B
That's what happened on Saturday when we were with a.
A
Yes.
B
You didn't have a stroller, though. You just talked to me. This old guy goes like 40 passes. B limits 25.
A
I know. I like. Now I have to make sure that they see me, especially when I'm with Lucy. It's so scary.
B
We're on the same page. You walk on the side of oncoming traffic.
A
When you're walking. You mean like, you want to be.
B
If you're going on a straight line, straight road, you want to be on the side where cars are coming towards you.
A
Issue is where we live, when you.
B
Go around a bend, you want to do on the other side so they don't take a sharp turn and clip you.
A
We have so many blind spots where we live. It's so bad.
B
But just be aware to go on the other side. But yeah, I mean, these. Honestly, I'm all for making old people do a driver's test again.
A
Yeah. Yeah.
B
Because it's a matter of time before somebody gets clipped in our neighborhood. And I hope it's not us.
A
I know. That's the thing. I hope it's not us. And it's like, should we be going to walk in safer neighborhoods? But I guess, like, you never. You never know anyway.
B
Like, I wouldn't say this that they drove slow, but they drove. They drive fast.
A
Well, that's why I want speed bumps at least, like, right by our house, because that's where I feel like the most. They go the fastest, and it's the most dangerous. How do you go about getting a speed bump? Do I like, do we reach out to.
B
I got. I know the mayor.
A
Oh, yeah, that's true.
B
Let me.
A
Let me talk to walk into the police station.
B
Let me talk to mayor. I got it. I'm already talking to them about trying to trim my trees if I'm allowed to do that.
A
You're already. You're. You're doing that. You're asking them that?
B
Yeah, I already did. Because I don't know if I'm allowed to or not. Like, two weeks ago.
A
Why didn't you fill me in on this? I didn't know this.
B
I think I told you.
A
No, you didn't.
B
Yeah, because I wanna. I wanna. I wanna just trim it because it's up my view.
A
Okay.
B
It's crazy now when you. When you have a kid, then you have to look at your own, where you live, and it's like, we never.
A
We've never done that.
B
We've never done that. I'm. Now I'm like, we live on a hill. It's not like the safest.
A
We were like, school districts, doesn't matter.
B
So now you're like, well, we got at least another two years in this house that we're okay. And then she starts moving and grooving. I'm like, all right, because we're gonna have to.
A
Well, safety is number one. Because it's just, again, like, living on a safe road, but safe road, but.
B
We'Re also on a hill. Like, what if she starts riding her bike, goes down the driveway. See ya. Can't have that. I think there's those safety nets I saw, like, safety nets that you could put on your driveway. It looks like a. Like a goal. Like a soccer goal net.
A
But would it catch her from.
B
Yeah, that's the point.
A
I don't know. My grandma lived on a hill, and my cousins had lived there, and she had the cul de sac.
B
That's cul de sac. What? I don't know why I said, like, that. Cul de sac is huge.
A
So did you grow up calling it a cul de sac?
B
Cul de sac, yeah.
A
Always called it a court.
B
And really?
A
Because, like, we had one, too, where I grew up. It, like, was in my backyard.
B
C U L dash D. A dash sac.
A
Cul de sac.
B
Cul de sac. Maybe it's a Connecticut thing.
A
No, I don't know. I mean, I think it's called a cul de sac everywhere, but I always called it a court growing up, but that was the best. Being a kid.
B
Yeah.
A
Play kickball in it.
B
Whatever. Whatever we did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, let's move on. Questions.
A
This episode is also sponsored by ritual. All right, let's talk about the anxiety that comes with prepping for a baby. There's the nursery, installing the car seat, and of course, trying to make sure you are actually getting all the nutrients that you need. But the one thing that I did not have to stress about when I was pregnant was getting all the nutrients that my body needed thanks to rituals. Essential prenatal. It became part of my routine every morning, like brushing my teeth or crying over baby name list. Ritual's clinically backed essential prenatal multivitamin gave me clean, traceable ingredients, all designed for optimal absorption. It's the number one best selling prenatal, and it's no surprise why it's literally the only leading prenatal backed by its own human clinical trial. Moms taking Ritual had lower overall cortisol levels during pregnancy than those taking a leading prenatal, which maybe explains why I wasn't a total wreck the entire time. And I loved that it didn't upset my stomach. These two easy capsules were so much gentler than any other prenatal that I had tried. No weird aftertaste, no gag reflex, just something I could actually look forward to taking. Plus, I trusted Ritual because they're all about transparency. Every ingredient is traceable, every claim is backed by science. And it gave me this little daily reminder that I was doing something good for myself and and my baby. So if you're pregnant or planning to be, don't settle for less than evidence based support my listeners get early access to Ritual's Black Friday sale for 40% off your first month at ritual.com straight. That's ritual.com straight for 40% off your first month. Don't miss their best sale of the season.
B
This podcast is also sponsored by hello Fresh. All right, let's talk about my cooking journey. Love, also known as John. Try not to burn dinner while filming it for the Internet.
A
You're doing your best.
B
Thank you. I appreciate that. Lately I've been leveling up thanks to HelloFresh. Yeah, the number one meal kit in America that delivers fresh ingredients and chef crafted recipes straight to your door. But this isn't the hellofresh you remember. It's bigger, healthier, tastier than ever. They've doubled their menu. Now you get 100 options every week with new seasonal dishes and recipes from around the world. I'm talking grass fed ribeyes, lamb chops, veggie packed meals, and actual big portions that don't leave me rummaging through the pantry 20 minutes later.
A
I'm actually.
B
That is hungry. What I'm talking about.
A
Yeah, let's. Let's get to making. Let's get to cooking.
B
Let's get to making. Okay, the meals are crazy good. One night it's classic beef chili, the next it's honey glazed pork tenderloin. I'm drooling and somehow I look like I know what I'm doing in the kitchen. Alex literally walked in the other night, like, who made this? And I said, your husband, the chef. And for the record, 91% of customers say they feel healthier eating hellofresh. And apparently three out of four parents say their kids eat more veggies with it. So I feel pretty good feeding us a well balanced diet. Honestly, the best way to cook just got better. I use it and you should too. Go to hellofresh.com straight10fm right now to get 10 free meals plus a free breakfast for life. One per box with active subscription free meals applied as a discount on your first box. New subscribers only. Varies by plan. That's hellofresh.com straight10fm to get 10 free meals plus free breakfast for life.
A
This episode is also sponsored by Cowboy Colostrum. Figuring out what supplements to take feels like trying to solve a murder mystery. There are clues everywhere, but no real answers. I've spent years trying to guess what my body actually needs and somehow my gut just still feels off. And my energy is meh. Not because of all the lack of sleep that I'm getting. Then I found Cowboy Colostrum. And it's like nature said here, stop guessing if you don't know what Colostrum is. It's the first milk mammals produce after giving birth. I gave it to Lucy.
B
Oh, wait.
A
Oh my God. Remember? I do know that I collected it.
B
From my house, some in the fridge.
A
Yeah, and then when she gets a little baby acne, I rub it on her face. Don't do what I said. Only listen to your daughter. But before you get weird about it, it's not regular milk. It's thicker, richer, and packed with hundreds of bioactive ingredients that support gut health, immunity, health, hair, skin, nails, and even recovery. Basically, it's nature's original multivitamin, designed by biology, not a lab. They call it in humans. Liquid gold. Ooh, just in case you didn't know, because like I, you apparently didn't remember that I collected it before we had Lucy. I've been adding one scoop of the vanilla flavor into my morning coffee and not only does it taste delicious, but I've noticed I'm way less bloated, my digestion feels balanced, and my hair. In my thick era, unlike other brands, Cowboy Colostrum is never diluted, never spray dyed, and always source from grass fed cows on regenerative U.S. farms. No fillers, no junk, just the good stuff. It's hormone free, allergen free, and third party tested. I love that. It feels like I'm fueling my body with something real, not synthetic. Especially now that I'm trying to keep my immune system strong going through all these seasonal germs. So. So if you've been wanting to feel your best from the inside out, go to cowboy colostrum.com and use code straight for 25% off your entire order. That's cowboycolostrum.com code straight for 25% off. And after you check out, tell them that. Give it to me straight. Tell them, because you know, we'll be watching.
B
We're watching you. This podcast is also sponsored by Hexclad. I'm actually really pumped about this.
A
Me too.
B
I finally got new cookware for my cooking journey videos because apparently people were tired of watch me make five star meals that I think in two star pans.
A
Ten. Ten star meals, John.
B
Thank you. Look, I've come a long way. I used to think searing was just burning, but pretending it's intentional. But then I got hex clad and suddenly I'm Gordon Ramsay, minus the accent and the emotional damage.
A
I don't know. I don't know about that.
B
That level. These pans are the real deal. Stainless steel strength with nonstick convenience. Meaning I can actually cook without scrubbing for four, 45 minutes later. Like cooking one egg and I just destroy the pan. Yeah, they give you that perfect sear. They're ridiculously durable and they look sexy on the stove. Like, if cookware could flex, Hexclad would have abs. The first time I used them, Alex literally said, wait, did you cook this? So, yeah, life changing. And with the holidays coming up, the kitchen is where it all goes down. Roast, sides, desserts, whatever your in laws supervise, Hexclad makes it easy. Whether you grab the six piece starter set or go all in with that 12 piece bundle, you're covered for every meal, every mood, and every recipe you find on TikTok at 2am they're metal utensil safe, dishwasher safe, oven safe up to 500 degrees and come with a lifetime warranty. Basically, they'll outlast my experimental chili phase. So if you're wondering what to get the cook in your life or you just want to impress your partner with something that isn't takeout, this is it. For a limited time, Hexclad is having a massive Black Friday sale. Head to hexclad.com straight to get up to 52% off. That's H E X C L A DCOM for up to 52% off. And when they ask where you heard about them, tell them that. Give it to me Straight sent you because this might be the first time I've ever sounded like I know what I'm doing in the kitchen tomorrow.
A
I don't know why I'm saying tomorrow. Next week is Thanksgiving. We already decorated for the holidays. Our house is completely decked out for Christmas.
B
By choice.
A
I mean, again, content creators. We have things we just have to prep for.
B
I guess it's good though, cuz it was kind of like a long process. It wasn't in one day. It was like no. Like a week and a half.
A
Well, I didn't realize how little Christmas decor we had. Thankfully your mom came and we like went shopping. Hobby Lobby man. Thank you.
B
Said HomeGoods. It was Hobby Lobby.
A
HomeGoods has good stuff too, but the.
B
Amount of stuff you got for how much it was. I was shocked.
A
Me too. Because if you were to get something from like, I don't want to. I don't want to drop any name brands where it's like, you know, expensive. But like, there's a lot of stores that we shop from that like one candle or like one wreath would be $200. Whereas you go to Hobby Lobby.
B
What stores do we shop at that are candles are 100 to 200, maybe.
A
Not a candle, but like some decor, you know, we're just.
B
I hope you're not doing that.
A
No, I'm not.
B
You're doing this. You're not even telling me, like, yeah, the shops that we go to, I'm like, we.
A
No, Hobby Lobby was great. Wayfair has great stuff too. So anyway, me and your mom went shopping. We decked out the house for Christmas. So we're in the holiday spirit prior to Thanksgiving. I've already put on the Christmas records. We have a record player. It makes it so cozy.
B
Record players are a vibe.
A
Yeah. That's actually what we did this weekend too. We lit the fire, we had a cocktail, and we played Christmas music on the vinyl.
B
Nice.
A
Yeah, that was really a vibe. So yeah, we're gonna like. All the topics are gonna be holiday related for the season. Buckle up. Some drama we have like splitting holidays. All the fun stuff, getting into the season.
B
So without further ado.
A
Without further ado. Oh, wait. But I do want to say one other thing that I've loved about being a new parent is seeing your child discover things for the first time. And I never thought that I would be this person, but it brings me so much joy. I.
B
We're disgusting. I don't know what's going on. Oh, we didn't even talk about the Pediatrician. I don't know what's happening. I don't know if. Because I'm sleep deprived, but like, I don't even wanna. I'm. I'm. I cried in the pediatrician again. I can't even. I can't even talk about it. I don't know, like, what it is. Like, we go in there and then the minute they. She starts crying, I'm like.
A
And John makes me the bad person. He's like, you have to hold her for every.
B
For anything.
A
Anything that happens to her. Her shots, her exams, you have to hold her. And then now I'm just going to be associated as the parent who is. She's going to be trauma bonded to me. Or actually, no, she's gonna trauma bonded.
B
To me because I'm the one. I'm the. I'm the poop man. So she's miserable at night. Then I'm in there cleaning her and she's just like losing her mind. So you can take the battle in the pediatrician office.
A
Poor thing.
B
But I can't do it. I'm like. At first I go, I got this. And then the nurse is like, all right, now do you want to do the shots and stuff? I go, nope. I give her to Alex. And then I turned the other way.
A
Yeah. And you, your eyes were completely full with tears.
B
Then I pretend like I'm reading or.
A
Doing, oh, let me look at this chart about poop colors.
B
Yeah, I know. I'm like, oh, my God, lock it up. I don't know. I'm just like falling apart. And then I was like, talking to my sister. I was like, FaceTiming her and telling her about it. And then I started, like, tearing up on the phone call. She's like, what is she? She's like, you're falling apart. I'm like, I know. I don't know what's going on because I love this little peanut so much.
A
She's so cute.
B
Disgusting.
A
It actually is painful to my heart how much I love her. Like, again. So what I was saying is that she discovered the lights in our kitchen the other day. And seeing her find so much happiness in the lights, like she was just laughing at them and smiling at them. And I'm like, holy shit. I feel so much happiness and joy from watching you find this new discovery. I. And again, like, when people would talk about that and they're like, oh, my God. Like, it's the little things that you find joy in, like, seeing your kids. Like, you're living through their eyes, whatever. Living Life through their eyes. I'm like, it is so true.
B
I think it's similar to, like, very successful people where, you know, not. They've done everything. They've done all the trips, they have all the money, all this stuff, and, like, nothing brings them that much joy. Then they turn into, like, philanthropic things and, like, helping others, and that brings them so much fulfillment and joy. Well, you're helping people experience things that you've already experienced.
A
Well, materialistic things, like, at the end of the day, are ultimately empty. Right.
B
You know, just like helping people in their life.
A
And even if you don't have kids. Yeah, It's. It's just like helping out other people or your relationships with other people are what is fulfilling. But again, I will say, just as a new parent, like, the most. The thing that brings me the most joy and happiness is just watching her.
B
Right. It's also weird, happiness doing things like. And remembering, like, your parents doing it for you. Like, I'm the dad now. Like, I put that star on top of the fucking tree, which looks like shit. That was the shittiest Northstar. Whatever we have up there.
A
You did your best.
B
It's on a coil. What am I supposed to do? So I'm wrapping the fake tree branches around this coil.
A
Well, maybe if we got a real tree, it would, like, work a little bit better, which we can't. You know why we can't? Because we already have bugs in our house. We need to get into questions, but, like, we also. Where did these flies come from?
B
I don't know. It's cold out. Why are the flies alive?
A
I don't know.
B
Flies alive?
A
Yeah, flies alive.
B
But seriously, I've killed so many of them, and they're always more. Is it that plant?
A
I put it outside because I was like, I don't know if it laid a nest in there.
B
We're gonna have to. We'll get, like, a bug exterminator next year. Because our house. There's too much going on.
A
There's. We have a lot of bugs. Yeah. It. If it's not the millipedes or the.
B
Centipedes, if I start seeing big spiders, I'm done. We're. I'm.
A
I feel like I did.
B
Fumigating this whole house.
A
I don't know. Whatever. There's going to be bugs no matter what. But unfortunately, we are not those people who, like, take the bugs and put them outside. Now, we have been doing that with the ladybugs. There's a lot of ladybugs.
B
I don't kill ladybugs you can't. No, because they're special.
A
Isn't it funny that, like, just based off of the look of a bug.
B
No, no, it's not off the look. It's not off the look. Ladybugs are good luck. I also don't kill crickets.
A
Right.
B
Because it's bad luck if you kill crickets.
A
We've had a praying mantis around our house. All.
B
Don't kill a praying mantis. Yeah, because I was in Ladybug. Like, don't they have a meeting to, like, the afterlife or something?
A
I don't know. But that's my point is, like you. It's all based off of your superstition, the marketing around these bugs. You know, like, maybe if we just watch James and Giant.
B
I was just about to say the ladybug for James and the Giant.
A
But, like, there's also a spider in that.
B
And it's like, she can go.
A
She's a queen.
B
No.
A
So sometimes I think about that. And then there was also this poem about, you know, like, killing small things just because you see them. And it's like, I hope the reason why you didn't kill, like, the. I don't know. I'm fucking it up. But there's a poem about, like, being discovered as, like, you know, being a little creature and then sad. I know. And it is. It's like, I hope that the reason that I die or don't die is just because you saw me.
B
When I was a kid, we used to, like, grab. We make, like, a dirt pit, and we put all these ants in there.
A
Oh, my God. Don't tell me.
B
Some roly polys. And they would just battle it out.
A
So that's like the kid version of dog fights. That's really. You could go to jail.
B
Answer. No, that's like, if you did the fish, the Chinese fighting fish, what's the difference? Because that's illegal.
A
I know, but you're still rolly poly.
B
I don't think there's any clause on ants and rolly polys.
A
Just because they're little, they're insects or bugs.
B
I don't know. Because, like, fish.
A
It's kind of rude, though. That's my point.
B
It's probably like a pita thing.
A
Because they're little doesn't mean their lives are less important. And here's you and I. Well, I'm not hitting the flies. You're killing them.
B
Oh, my God. So when we were growing up, Jen and I, if we got, like, good grades every Friday, my dad would let, like, Jen. I did ever say this. Jen can get a fish because she had a fish tank. And I can, like, rent a video game. Of course, Jen always got A's. And I kept getting. I kept failing.
A
You're not playing anything. Is that why you love video games now? Because you were deprived probably as a kid?
B
So general rules get ace. And they initially was like, you have to get A's too. Then it was like, you have to get B's. And now it was, you have to get C's.
A
C's got degrees.
B
So I can. Because the amount of times we went out and like, I would just watch and get a fish and I didn't get to gave.
A
So sad.
B
One time I switched it up on everyone. I. Instead of game, I was like, I'm gonna get a fish. Jen had this full fish tank.
A
When you got to see, you were like, I'm getting a fish.
B
I'm getting a fucking fish. I got one of those Chinese fighting fish. I didn't know what it was.
A
I think they have to be alone. Like, they're not. They can't be with other fish. Right.
B
I dropped that fish in Jen's fish tank.
A
John, what the fuck is wrong with you?
B
It killed all the other fish. That one fish lived. Killed all she had to have. 30 little, like, sardine. Little, like, teeny baby fish. Killed them all. Like, holy shit.
A
I feel like that's a metaphor for something. It's got to be.
B
I kill any. Everything dies that I love.
A
Please don't say that. Please don't say that. No, because. And I'm taking that away because you didn't love those fish. Jen's fish. She did.
B
I didn't give a fuck.
A
It's more about, like, you killing the dreams of other people.
B
Okay.
A
Right.
B
Wow, that was.
A
I don't like that. Come up with a different metaphor.
B
Let's just go into questions.
A
I feel like we can't leave it on that note. We were talking about the holidays and you just, like, really made it dark.
B
That's me, John. I'm sorry. Just forgot about those fish.
A
Maybe that's the metaphor.
B
Don't let John ruin your holiday spirit.
A
Yeah, let's leave it at that. And he won't.
B
Oh, you know what?
A
No, Here we go.
B
Alex. Typical Alex. We started dating because the first time. Now we're talking about Thanksgiving. The first time you met my parents. Oh, was Thanksgiving.
A
No, it wasn't. You literally think the wrong timeline.
B
First time you met my dad was Triangle Beach Music Festival.
A
John, we. First time you met my mom, can you here, listen. This is the timeline of our relationship. We met in the winter of 2016. We started officially dating in the spring of 2017. So I met your dad in that spring when like the weather was getting warm. I met your mom also that summer at meme's birthday. Someone's birthday at my parents house. Correct. It was not Thanksgiving with all of her sisters that Thanksgiving. No, no, that was another party. I came over to your parents for some like someone's birthday party. And then that Thanksgiving was. We had already been dating for a few months. I had already met your parents. That wasn't the first time, but yes, it was the first family holiday that I joined. We'd gone over a few days before to help with the stuffing and continue. You weren't even there, John.
B
Typical. Know who wasn't really there. You were there physically because Thanksgiving, the night before Thanksgiving, biggest party night of the year, Alex, Goo and I go out.
A
Alex, you didn't go out. You had work the next day. So it was just me Goo and my friends who went out. See, you weren't even there. You are just sorry.
B
I got the aftermath. Alex gets obliterated. Then the next day we're driving to my parents for Thanksgiving and I'm like, Alex throws up in the front yard. Throws up in the car.
A
People who have listened to this podcast know because it, it happens like you.
B
Know, the year before Thanksgiving's coming up and like tradition. Yeah.
A
What did we do last Thanksgiving? Nothing. Didn't get obliterated. I'm pretty sure I just cried all day because I had to go see my nephew who was at Thanksgiving who was supposed to be a week apart from Leo. I want to kill myself. And then we just were traveling. Yeah. So I wasn't drunk, I was just depressed. And then the year before that, I haven't been in party mode for years, John.
B
So I don't know any cool Thanksgivings.
A
We ever had Thanksgiving.
B
Oh my God.
A
Maybe we go out this Thanksgiving Eve.
B
One Thanksgiving in la.
A
Bring it back.
B
Our managers list. We had Thanksgiving with our managers families.
A
Oh, that was so nice.
B
Big family event. As soon as I get there, I eat one thing. I have to take such a. And it's a townhouse. Everyone's packed. And the one bathroom I was allowed to use. Yeah, because oh, that was the year before.
A
That was our first year there because we also spend Thanksgiving with them the year after.
B
The bathroom that everyone's supposed to use is next to the kitchen, next to the living room where everyone is. I go in Think it's gonna be like a little one. And I'm in there for a solid minute, and it smells disgusting. I do my business. I close the door behind me. I look, everyone's talking, and across the room, their grandmother, who's like 90 something, is in the corner. And she's staring at me. She knows, glaring, glaring at me, like, how could you take a. On this blessed day on a holiday.
A
Like this in a home?
B
And she's never looked at me the same.
A
Because you. You're not a family member.
B
I'm not a fan. And then I actually. Yeah. Yeah. Anyways, okay, let's. Let's go. Moving in.
A
Moving in. You're moving on, number one. But you're the one who keeps segueing because you want to talk about my ratchet past. Get over it, John. I threw up one Thanksgiving, okay? That was it. It literally actually. It actually happened eight years ago. And you won't let it go.
B
No, because it was back to back Thanksgiving. The one before that, you also got really drunk, hungover.
A
That is a lie. It was only one. You just have ptsd.
B
One with my family. But the one before you were pretty trashed at too.
A
It was only with your family. When did I see you that other Thanksgiving? Okay, no, no, no. I'm actually like, let's go. Like, let's get into it.
B
No, because I don't remember the specific dates.
A
You also think thought that you were there with me going out with goo and my friends at night, and you weren't.
B
So you're you obviously pot calling the kettle black. Every story I say, you're like, I was there, there.
A
I just like to tell the story.
B
Roll the tape.
A
I just like to retell the story. Because you're a bad story.
B
How do you retell a story when you weren't there? That doesn't make any sense.
A
Because you tell me the initial story, and then I'm like, okay, I could put this story together better. And so then I tell it better. I never say I was there. I'm like, so this is what happened to John.
B
Okay?
A
But for you, you're like, I was there.
B
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I don't care. Let's go on the questions.
A
Question number one. But for real, it was only that one Thanksgiving. You win question number one. My boyfriend and I have just moved in together, and we are spending the holidays separately. He wants to spend it with his dad and his siblings, and I want to spend it with my parents. I feel a bit disappointed that we Aren't spending it together and that he would rather spend it without me. Are my feelings unreasonable? I'm assuming we will always spend Christmas apart because he said he always wants to spend it with his family. But. But I just feel like it should be slightly different now that we've moved in together. What would you guys do?
B
What was the conversation? Did you. Did you say, hey, this year we can go to yours, next year we can go to mine? Like, what you're leaving out? What a fudgeing, stupid question. You're leaving out half the conversation. Did you guys have? What was it?
A
Right? Because you said you also want to spend it with your parents. So it's like.
B
Seems like neither one of you are. Because both of you are selfish, right?
A
So what would I do? I would have a conversation. I would say, hey, spending the holiday with my family is important. And it seems like it's important to you too. Shall we swap each year? What should we.
B
Here's a thought.
A
Yeah, it sounds like you just have to have a conversation. That's what we would do.
B
Triggered.
A
Next question. Our son will just be three months at Thanksgiving. My wife and I usually host. I told my mom this year it would just be immediate family because of the baby. We would happily host, but just my mom, my brother and his wife and son, and our uncle. Usually we invite about five other adults and their children, but this year with the baby, I do not want to open up the invitation because sometimes I invite others as well. Again, usually no problem. But with cold and flu season and this being our baby's first Thanksgiving, we just want it to be small. Well, now my mom wants to host so she can invite all of those other people. I said that's fine, but we just won't be going. She's upset because my brother still wants to go to our house and she says we could just come for dinner and baby wear so no one has to hold the baby. Am I the asshole for not wanting to go?
B
No. Just say no. Just say no.
A
When you have a kid, like, your number one priority becomes their safety and, like, making sure that they are okay.
B
Whose mom is it?
A
His mom.
B
Sounds like if really, if push comes to shove and you're not trying to, like, get in this massive fight, if your wife's comfortable with it, be like, you guys have your Thanksgiving or do whatever and you can just swing by for like a half an hour if, if, if you. You yourself.
A
Oh, yeah, without your.
B
Without anyone. Just swing by, say hello, and come back. First off, number one, your mother should Be so accommodating and understanding that you don't want to do that. It's not about her. It's not about everybody else.
A
Especially the fact that you have a new baby. Like, if people don't respect that you.
B
Were her baby, you think she wouldn't get that?
A
Back in the day, kids didn't. You know, kids didn't get as sick back in the day. Back back then, it was different. Everything was different. They knew better back then. They're.
B
Everyone just had polio back then.
A
So I think that you're not the. For not wanting to go. You are putting your family first, and that's what you should be doing.
B
You should. Yeah, but if you want to give her a little compromise, you could just do that. And, yeah, you don't even have to do that, but it's even just some sort of olive branch you can give.
A
I just think, like, two, when you are setting this boundary that you know is the right choice, you can't let other people's opinions on that choice let you feel some type of way. Like, okay, let like, oh, well, then be pissed, mom.
B
Right?
A
If you're gonna go and want to invite all these people here, then we won't be there. Because I told you I'm not inviting these people because of the safety of my own child.
B
And you just laid it out. Yeah, yeah.
A
The fuck? Next question. I've hosted a family Christmas gathering every year since my grandparents passed away to make sure the tradition stays alive. My sister, who is married to an abusive man, used to attend with her three boys every year and respect my boundary that he is not welcome. When I say abusive, I mean he has been arrested for his violent behavior. Now that we are looking for dates to. To plan the family gathering for this year, she has put her foot down in saying that if he is not welcome, then they will not be attending. I. I, who has given him many chances in the past, am holding firm that he is not to be in my home. I respect her decision to stand by her husband, but I feel like I also need to respect my boundaries. Am I the asshole for essentially letting the tradition die on this hill?
B
If someone is physically abusive, there should be a hard line there. What are you talking about?
A
Even if they're not, and it's just someone who you don't feel comfortable having in your home around your own kids? No. Draw. Draw the line. I can relate. There's several people who I'm like, you're not welcome in my home, and I just won't. That's my boundary. If you want to invite them to your home, so be it. If you want to host, so be it. And then we won't go. Or, like, I will just go where I feel comfortable, but, like, bringing people who you don't feel safe with or near around into your peace with your family. Not okay. And you have every right to draw that boundary. So, no, you're not letting. You're not being the asshole for letting the tradition die, for keeping. Keeping your home safe.
B
Then you have some family members and idiot. Like, well, they're not that bad. Like, shut up.
A
Yeah. Again. Because I feel like the amount of times that, like, yeah, you know, I won't get into it. Next question.
B
Protect your peace, protect your home, protect your kids.
A
How do I tell my husband I don't want to spend Christmas Eve with his family? We've always split the holidays. His family, Christmas Eve, mine on Christmas. But this year, our one and a half year old is way more aware of the fun Christmas than last year. And she has a bunch of cousins her age on my side. Christmas Eve is so fun for that age. And the anticipation of Santa on my husband's side. The next youngest kid is, like, 14. And though I love seeing them all, I'd love for my daughter to enjoy the fun of Santa with her cousins. The issue is his side doesn't do much for Christmas Day, so it's hard to swap thoughts.
B
I think once you have a kid, your kids is your priority. So I get that. And you. I would compromise by doing a different holiday, like, with his family. Then I get that, though, because it makes sense. Like, if there's a bunch of kids. And how long do you get that Christmas cheer and spirit for a child? I don't know how long that lasts. So do it while you can. And your husband should get that because it shouldn't be about him.
A
Well, I also do think that you can still. You said that you've always split the holiday. His Christmas on his family on Christmas Eve, yours on Christmas. What if you alternate those every year?
B
She. She's like, saying, that was a hard line. Like, he didn't want to do that.
A
I think it just sounds like every year, his family gets Christmas Eve, her family gets Christmas.
B
Oh, my God, Switch the fudgeing day. There's just. It's one night.
A
Unless I'm like, my brain isn't computing and I'm not reading or.
B
Or you take both nights and just go to his house, his family's house for Thanksgiving. What the f. Who cares?
A
I. I Think ultimately too what's best for the kid. I don't know because. Or stop by, like, it's a whole day. I don't know. Yeah, because I mean, granted, you could run into an issue where it's like four Christmases and you end up like, burning out because you're like running around town trying to make everyone happy. But, like, you have to do what you want to do. And I do think that there has to be some type of compromise. Like, I do. I've seen a lot of, like, discourse about how, like, we're in a season of life where like, a lot of people are just like, me, me, me, me, me. I'm not going to do anything that's convenient to me because it's like, not what I want to do. And it's like you do want to spend time with your family members because you want that reciprocated. So if you end up having to split the day by like appeasing your family on one of the days and whatever, just like you could. Can't you make both happen a little bit?
B
No. It's up about that movie, now that I'm thinking about it, four Christmases. It's like they had to stop at each place individually. But if you notice at the end of the movie, like, they're all together. Her side remember like when they got in a fight? Her inventor and she goes to her dad's house and it's like her mom.
A
But her mom doesn't go. I think it's like her just her sister.
B
No, no, they all go. Yeah, because she's there with her. Her hubby, because he's there too. And the same thing.
A
Like, I have to re watch it. I'm almost positive it's four because, like, the parents are divorced.
B
You all four. But at the end of the movie, like towards the end where they get in a fight, she goes to the dad's, I'm pretty sure the sister.
A
It's just Kristen, Chris, Kristen Chenoweth. Who's there? No, it's not the mom.
B
The mom's there. The mom's there.
A
No, it's not. That's why there's four. We'll have to watch it and report back.
B
Final.
A
Oh, no. John and I have to watch a Christmas movie. Rats.
B
Anyways, it's Brad and Kate, Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon. Kate visits her family at the end because her and Vince get in a fight about having a baby. Whatever, whatever. And we know the whole family's there. Her mom's there, her Husband. They're opening presents. I'm almost positive.
A
John, we gotta just watch it.
B
But what I'm saying is we just gotta watch. It's kind of annoying that the family.
A
Is a great day to watch it because my mom just texted me that it's snowing. So we gotta wrap this up because I want to show Lucy what it is.
B
Okay, fine.
A
And tell her about it.
B
The moral of the story of what I was saying is it's annoying that they. Every family matter, every family made them visit them and at the end of the movie it's like they all were together like, bitch, you made me fucking.
A
But they're not. They're not all together in the end. That's the point of the movie, is that it's all separate. I'm telling you, John, they're all separate. Why would like.
B
Dad, you're such a rat. You made me go to all these places. They were all together at the end.
A
Would have to get fired if they literally had them all together at the end. That would make no sense.
B
His whole side was together. Her whole side was together. Well, her whole side was together.
A
Moving on, next question. Am I the asshole for not wanting to spend money on my mom's husband's Christmas present background? My parents have been separated for 18 years. I have a good relationship with everyone involved here and my mom has been remarried for six years. My husband and I are trying to cut back on how much emphasis we put on gifts for the holidays. My mom's love language is gift giving and it makes my husband and I feel overwhelmed by the amount of gifts exchanged on holidays. My brother does not seem to share this opinion and loves gifts, so I don't bring it up to him. I have a toddler and between how expensive life is in general and daycare cost, we don't have a lot of extra to spend on gifts. I of course will do something small but meaningful for my immediate family. My dad and I agreed not to do gifts. We would rather do something together when we see each other or just enjoy each other's company. Since he lives out of state. The problem is I feel expected to buy something nice for my mom's husband. It feels forced, but I don't want to make him feel bad by not doing anything. I also feel uncomfortable because even though I like him, he isn't my dad and I'm putting more effort into and him to his gift than my own father's. So am I the for not wanting to get him something nice. Should I bring it up to my mom or do I just suck it up and keep the peace?
B
Just do joint gift.
A
Oh, that's a good idea.
B
Just joint gift for your mom and your dad. Like something for their house or some like that don't do separate house.
A
Yeah, or like similar to what you do with your dad. Maybe ask your mom if you want to do something. Like take your mom and your stepdad out to dinner.
B
Do you want to do that? You know, is that.
A
Well, you just don't want to spend time with people, John.
B
Maybe she wants, but maybe she doesn't, you know?
A
Okay, fine. If you don't want to spend extra time with your mom and your mom's husband, then don't.
B
I mean, it's not her dad. You know, I'm not gonna call you daddy.
A
Okay, I'll call you.
B
I have my own father.
A
I have a dad and I still want to call you daddy.
B
I gross.
A
I have two daddies now.
B
Ew.
A
Next question. Other people to like them when they are an unlikable person. Like, why should other people have to tolerate your shitty decision?
B
You don't like my feedback, so I won't give feedback. But I won't put myself in the same room. I won't put myself in a situation that I don't want to be part of. So you'll get my feedback in a way of physical distance.
A
So you're not the. For not inviting to do things because you know that he'll be there because you don't want to be there.
B
No, no, no. You can invite her. You can make it very clear. Just inviting her, like hey girl day, you know?
A
Right. But.
B
But it's not like hey girl spa day and then you're trash piece of boyfriend.
A
But if it's like a holiday that you're hosting, you know what I mean? And then. Or like a wedding, for example, let's say like you're getting married and you're like, I don't want your boyfriend to come.
B
I wonder what your. If it's like a family thing, I can imagine the parents being like, just invite them.
A
Right? No, but do you think that there is a way to approach a topic.
B
Without causing is like parents trying to keep the peace, you know what I'm saying? But now being like the peace, like wouldn't get. Don't you want your. Your child to like not be with someone who's a loser?
A
Of course, but again, you could lead a horse to water. But ultimately you have to like, they have to choose it.
B
But what about the other child? Like with the Position that you're like, I would feel personally attacked if my parents were like just the peacekeepers. Like how does that make me feel? I hate this person. And you're telling me that I need to be put in a situation where I need to spend time with this piece of.
A
Well, that's. You care about where I feel what's happening here.
B
You don't know that it might be because you know it's a family event and there's gonna be pressures from the.
A
Family to be like just keep the peace or not. Because they, they just, they don't like him just as much.
B
Yeah, but they, they might not. But they have more skin in the game because it's their kid of scenarios.
A
Here, which is like I know what.
B
You know what happen. Because I know it would happen. It happens all the time because people want to be like the I'm. I'm peace. Peace person. What's the word I'm looking for?
A
Middle ground. Switzerland.
B
Yeah, I'm Switzerland. Shouldn't be Switzerland. No Switzerland.
A
I mean I love Switzerland.
B
Fucking hate their food.
A
Yeah, not great food, but like great roads. Not a single pothole.
B
Yeah, that's true. Beautiful.
A
You see their taxes returned.
B
We talked about this. Everyone has a bunker.
A
A bunker?
B
That mean in case of like a nuclear war? Yeah. It talks about there's enough bunkers for everyone in the country. Oh, doing during World War II.
A
What?
B
Yeah. Where are they in the Mount? They're in the mountains out.
A
No, I know but like what do they look like.
B
Bunkers?
A
That's. I, I want to fact check that. I feel like. Is that for real?
B
Yeah, that's for real.
A
Okay. No, I mean on the emotional bandwidth of your sister, if she can handle criticism or not, but it sounds like she's overly sensitive and so at what point do you just like not say anything to protect your own piece because like just getting her off chest for the sake of what? Just don't be around this person.
B
Do you think someone that's overly sensitive correlates with like low self esteem?
A
I think sometimes if someone is overly sensitive about something, it could be related to the fact that like they know. Feel vulnerable. Like they know that what they're doing is like. Or that their decision is not the best one and they feel like they have to justify sensitive about it because they're like, you know, know me. They feel like they have to make justifications for their actions. They were like because of, you know, the other person who they're dating. And it's like you're only overly Sensitive. Like this struck a chord with you. But why. Let's unpack that. But you know, that's in my experience. I don't know. I just. But like, what is the point if you've continued to try to like have these conversations with her and it goes nowhere? Like your sister is going to do what she wants to do at the end of the day. Like, and if you want to preserve some sort of relationship with her, like, just don't get involved. And then you have to like separate and keep your.
B
No, that's. That's gonna tear the relationship apart. You not inviting her.
A
I just mean doing things to avoid hanging out with him. To keep your peace.
B
Sure.
A
Unless he's abusive and you know your sister's in a bad place. Like, yeah, of course in that in those situations, like you have to speak up and be like, this is not okay, yada yada. But when it's just a piece of. And like you guys just. You don't like him as a person, your sister does for whatever reason.
B
Good luck.
A
Yeah, good luck. Next question. My father in law is continually mad about the plans that his son's families make for the holidays. Stating that it is ridiculous to let your nagging wives make the decision. We all rotate holidays between everyone's families. One year with my husband's parents, the next we're with mine. Regardless of the rotation, he is mad about it. Every year my husband has tried explaining the purpose of the rotation to his dad, but he hardly cares to listen and responds by saying that my sister in law and I are controlling and trying to force our in laws out. I'm sick of being talked poorly about by my father in law and want to put my foot down. How can I do this without causing World War 3?
B
Teach you old dog new tricks.
A
You know, I like was waiting for you to call this man like Bilbo Baggins or whatever. Like, like what did you say?
B
It's such a stereotypical like old man. Like, dude, you're not gonna change anything.
A
Just keep doing what you're doing.
B
Yeah, honestly, you're definitely gonna be winning if you really want to piss this person off. Just like, yeah, yeah, I don't give a what you're saying. I just keep doing what you're doing. That's probably because he's probably got like this man hierarchy. Like, listen to me, I'm the patriarch of this family that you guys are.
A
Listening to your stupid watch.
B
Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Well, you could stay home.
A
Yeah, you're not invited. So enjoy Christmas.
B
Enjoy a can of beans with your core is light.
A
Y. I think you're fine again. I. You don't like. Yeah, it sucks to be talked about.
B
Scrutinized by. Yeah.
A
Doing anything wrong. Let the man be miserable on his own, you know?
B
Is he still showing up?
A
What do you mean?
B
Begrudgingly, like, to his own holidays? Yeah. Yeah, I think. No, no. Like, are they still inviting him? And if he's still showing up, like, you're right there that you're like, you're still showing up. Shut the up.
A
If you don't come, Bill, what are you contributing to this Thanksgiving dinner? Are you cooking? Are you doing the dishes? Did you plan anything, or are you just showing up and, like, yapping away?
B
Oh, yeah.
A
On the couch. Shut. Shut the fuck up.
B
Shut up.
A
Just tell him that. Hey, Bill.
B
He's bringing regret. Bringing.
A
He's bringing that. Bad vibes. And that's not what we want this holiday season anyway. This is just the beginning of the holiday drama that we're getting into this. This.
B
Can't wait to see what gets stirred.
A
Up next few weeks. Do you want to hear a secret?
B
Yeah.
A
Not a holiday secret. It's just. My husband isn't the only person I've had sex with. He doesn't know that I lost my V card to my husband when I was 15, and we later broke up when I was 16 for a year, during which I had a boyfriend for about 8 months. My ex and I only had sex a handful of times, and I took my ex's V card. The relationship ended because cheated on me, and shortly after, I got back together with my now husband. We're in our mid to late 20s, and he still doesn't know gives a. Well, I don't want to be like, you were five when you had sex.
B
16, 17, teenager. I feel like anything 25 is, like, null and voided.
A
Yeah, like your brain and who I. Why haven't you told him? Who cares? If he, like, were to hold that against you too, I'd be like, grow the upper.
B
Yeah.
A
Who knows, though? People in, like, maybe it's a religious thing. He would be like, you tainted hoe.
B
You're not. Your brain's not fully developed. Just use that as an excuse.
A
I didn't know what I was doing.
B
Anyways.
A
Anyways.
B
Rex, you never remember a wreck, dude.
A
What do you mean? My wreck is what I'm wearing. No, but I'll come up with another one.
B
No, no, that's good. That's your ride.
A
No. Yeah. I love this set.
B
My wreck is a time Management thing, which I've noticed I've been doing a couple times when Lucy is asleep in the bassinet and like, you're working out or something, I'm like, okay, to get a little bit ahead, I do my ab routine. That's what I'm saying. Time management. Like, do what you can.
A
I did not think that you were going to say your ab routine. I thought that you were going to say something that was, like, maybe actually productive. I got it.
B
Like, that's productive. Because that takes away at least, like, 20 minutes and.
A
Yeah, but, like, you don't cut that into your gym time. Like, you just do other things still.
B
No, no, no, no. I don't know. I don't. I leave really, or I don't sprint as hard. Like, I'm not rushing through the whole. I'm trying to kill myself.
A
Got it. I guess that's true, too. Like, I. I do try to make the most out of, like, for sleep time. Like, even if she's sleeping on me, I'll do some lunges around the house, get some things done at it. That's why I like to wear her, because I feel like she sleeps longer on me than she does last night. So I'm able to do so much more.
B
I know we should probably not make her sleep so much, but anyways, your.
A
Your wreck is just time, man.
B
Time management. Like, you know, working out, like, court, like, do your abs. Because I feel like, man, I feel great that I got that done right. I feel productive. Then I like, you know.
A
Yeah. So it's just be productive, people. That's.
B
That's. Be productive is my wreck, guys. Like, subscribe Email Comment do all the things.
A
If you want to follow us, you can find us everywhere. Give it to me straight Podcast if you want to send us an anonymous note, you could do so in our show notes or on our website. If you want to send us an email, you can reach us at. Hello, Give it tome straight podcast dot com. And that is it. We will see you guys next week.
B
Ciao, Ciao.
A
Bye.
B
Foreign.
A
Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.
Podcast: Give It To Me Straight
Hosts: Alex & John
Episode: 78 – "Giving you holiday swaps, daddies, and intrusive thoughts"
Date: November 18, 2025
In this candid and humorous episode, married hosts Alex and John dive into the chaos of daily life with a new baby, holiday preparations, and family dynamics. The episode weaves together their personal anecdotes, hilarious banter, and unfiltered advice, focusing on topics like postpartum struggles, intrusive thoughts as new parents, awkward family interactions, and navigating holiday traditions and family boundaries. They wrap things up by answering listener questions about tricky holiday situations and endearing bits about their evolving routines and relationship.
"Your mom tells me: 'John, are you okay? You look skinny.' I'm like, what the fuck?" – John (04:57)
“I am holding her, and I walk by the stairs…in my brain I'm like, I hope I don't throw her over the banister.” – Alex (08:00)
"If you have less lines in a movie, you better bring it home. You better sell that." – Alex (16:29)
“We’re becoming people who care about speed bumps ... does that make me old?” – Alex (26:11)
“Your mother should be so accommodating and understanding. It's not about her.” – John (53:49)
“It actually is painful to my heart how much I love her...” – Alex (40:29)
"Nothing brings them that much joy. Then they turn to philanthropic things and that brings them so much fulfillment... You're helping people experience things you've already experienced." – John (41:07)
"Record players are a vibe. That's what we did this weekend too—lit the fire, had a cocktail, and played Christmas music on the vinyl." – Alex (38:15)
On intrusive thoughts:
"I walk by the stairs and there's the banister—in my brain, I'm like, I hope I don't throw her over the banister."
– Alex (08:00)
On old age and suburbia:
“We’re becoming people who care about speed bumps... does that make me old?”
– Alex (26:11)
On acting:
“There is nothing more embarrassing than doing special effects. For any superhero movie, it’s dead quiet.”
– Alex (17:48)
On parental love:
“It actually is painful to my heart how much I love her.”
– Alex (40:29)
On grumpy in-laws:
"Enjoy a can of beans with your Coors Light."
– John (70:02)
Alex and John maintain a playful, irreverent, and candid tone throughout, layering humor with bits of genuine emotion and practical advice. Their banter provides levity even when addressing common but tough topics for young parents and couples.
This summary captures the heart of the episode, highlighting all significant themes and providing useful context for those who want the wisdom (and the one-liners) without the full 74-minute runtime.