Episode Overview

Podcast: Give It To Me Straight
Hosts: Alex & John
Episode: 82 - "Giving you elf on the shelf, gift giving, and thoughtfulness"
Date: December 16, 2025

This lively episode explores the joys and headaches of the holiday season, focusing on the pressure-filled rituals of gift giving, the infamous Elf on the Shelf tradition, and the never-ending struggle for thoughtful gestures in relationships and families. New parents Alex and John use their trademark candid banter to share stories, debate customs, and answer listener questions on everything from gifting etiquette to the emotional labor that too often falls on one partner.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Transitioning into Holiday Parenting Life

• Opening Riff & Google’s Holiday 100
  • Alex introduces the chaos of being first-time parents during the holidays, mentioning less time for thoughtful shopping.
  • She highlights Google’s Holiday 100 list as a resource to streamline gift selection, joking, “I wanted to get [John] something... so we could prioritize time together as new parents” (00:31).
  • The segment naturally segues into questioning why parents add extra holiday tasks to an already full plate.

The Relentless Addition of Holiday Tasks

• Why Do We Pile on More?
  • John bluntly questions the proliferation of celebrations: “Why do bachelorette parties have seven different events? Why do people have baby showers? Why do people have birthday parties? Why do people give gifts?” (01:24).
  • Alex agrees with the exhaustion, signaling this is the episode’s central theme.

Relationship Dynamics: Banter & Tolerance

• Playful Bickering & Realness
  • The couple’s signature playful argument style is on display—about gum, coffee, and chores (02:00–11:42).
  • John admits, “Forgets immediately. Anything I ever ask Alex to do that’s not high level, immediately forget,” referencing Alex’s scattered memory for minor household tasks (09:35).
  • Alex responds: “I have so much going on in my brain... I don’t have enough space for extra things” (09:57).

Generational & Fashion Observations

• Nostalgic Fashion Talk
  • John and Alex reminisce about early 2000s style, “puka shells, pop collars, and studded belts” and how fashion phases shift over time (04:45–06:25).
  • Playful teasing about being a “poser” in their youth: “Back in the day, being called a poser was like a death sentence” (06:05).

The Banality and Pressure of Gift Giving

• Consumerism and Gifting

  • John sighs, “Consumerism. Consumerism. Consumerism,” as they discuss the societal drive behind gift giving (35:59).
  • Alex: “I just, I don’t know if this is a hot take or not… I would not expect anybody to get [our daughter] anything” (47:54).

• Thoughtful vs. Obligatory Gift Giving

  • They stress the importance of thoughtful, meaningful gifts over expensive or obligatory ones.
  • Listener advice: For big families, consider giving “a holistic gift for each family... what can I get that household?” (47:19).

• Gift Giver Frustrations

  • One listener laments spending years giving gifts and getting no acknowledgement. Alex’s response: “Friendship is a two-way street... sometimes you have to look at a bird’s eye view and say, how much energy am I actually investing over this period of time, is it worth still investing into this relationship...” (55:56).

Gifting & Emotional Labor in Relationships

• Classic Gift Disparity in Couples

  • Alex expresses the burden of planning all gifts and activities, sending John links for things she wants, only to be told to buy it herself: “Sent me into orbit because I just felt like this is another thing on my already long holiday to-do list” (72:11).
  • John concedes: “That’s something you want, your partner should concede a little bit. You could still be like, this is stupid, but for you, I’ll do it” (73:19).

• Husbands Who Don’t Engage

  • The pair relate stories from their own family—like John’s dad being clueless about gifts—which underscores the frustration and recurring lesson: emotional effort matters more than the price (73:44–74:22).

Elf on the Shelf: Magical or Maddening?

• Debating 'Elf on the Shelf'

  • Alex questions: “Is there anyone out there who doesn’t do it? Because I’m like, you have enough to do as a parent... why are we adding things to do?” (32:47).
  • John jokes about keeping it simple and their inability to maintain “continuous commitment” traditions.

• Boundary Setting with Grandparents & Santa

  • Listener Q: Should grandparents give gifts from Santa? Debate ensues: John, “What the fuck’s the difference? They’re from Santa...” (69:47), while Alex empathizes with parents wanting to control the magical narrative (70:33).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Emotional Labor:

  • “It’s just the lack of effort here. The fact that you’re doing literally all the legwork, sending him a link, and he’s saying, all right, you order it. There’s nothing special or romantic about that at all.” —Alex (73:30)

• On Parenting Survival:

  • “I feel like we’re just surviving sometimes at this point.” —Alex (19:04)
  • “To have a kid, it is a 24/7 job. Mentally, it’s exhausting.” —John (19:48)

• On Social Pressures:

  • “Why does bachelorette parties have seven different events? Why do people have baby showers? Why do people have birthday parties? Why do people give gifts?” —John (01:24)

• On Thoughtful Gifts:

  • “I would so much rather get something, and this is me personally, something that is less expensive, that has more thought behind it.” —Alex (51:15)

• On the Magic (or Myth) of Couples Not Fighting:

  • “Married to Taylor Swift, I too would not fight with her.” —Alex, on public personas claiming to never fight (21:13)

• On Crying for Kids:

  • “I just, like, can’t. I cannot. I can’t handle it. I have to look away. And, like, yesterday, I was actually crying. And I haven’t cried like that since Leo.” —John, discussing the vulnerability of being a new dad (24:08)
  • “When I saw you cry, it made me cry.” —Alex (24:42)

Listener Q&A (Timestamps for Selected Segments)

[47:02] – Gift Giving for Large Families:
Alex and John recommend “holistic” household gifts or simple, thoughtful small gifts—don’t overspend or overthink.

[49:21] – Early Relationship Gift Giving:
Don’t go overboard—thoughtful, low-cost gestures like a favorite bottle of wine suffice.

[50:10] – Inexpensive Gifts for Teachers:
Homemade items or practical gifts (cookies, ornaments, classroom supplies) are more than enough.

[52:45] – Feeling Undervalued as the Extra-Aunt/Uncle:
Alex: “Friendship is a two-way street... take inventory of your relationships.”

[56:53] – Avoiding Holidays with the In-Laws:
Communication and creative compromise are key. Don’t be afraid to gently raise boundaries and alternatives.

[61:01] – Dealing with Too Many Unwanted Gifts:
Alex and John offer solidarity, suggesting “just take it and donate it,” while lamenting the futility of trying to deter persistent gifters.

[69:29] – Santa Gifts: Who Gets Credit?
The hosts downplay the significance, but acknowledge parental preferences for directing the magic.

Additional Fun Segments

• Holiday Party & “White Elephant” Recap (82:05)—John revels in Alex’s newfound preference for staying in over socializing as parents.
• Sunglasses Debate (31:13)—Alex: “I have never worn a pair of sunglasses and been like, these help me see better... it’s for fashion.”
• Comedic Business Ideas (29:31)—Dreaming of opening a coffee shop together, despite zero barista skills.

Highlights by Segment (Timestamps)

• Gift-Giving Pressure in the Holidays: 01:24–12:00, 35:49–37:10, 47:02–48:57
• Relationship Banter over Chores, Sleep, and Parenting: 02:00–11:42
• Elf on the Shelf & Holiday Rituals: 32:47–38:22, 69:29–71:35
• Listener Questions: 47:02–80:20
• Emotional Parenting Moments: 24:08–26:57
• Grandparent Boundaries: 69:29–71:35

Tone

Candid, irreverent, unfiltered, and affectionate. Alex and John balance humor and vulnerability, using their real-life experiences as a couple and new parents to expose the sometimes ridiculous expectations of modern family life.

Final Thoughts

The episode playfully skewers holiday consumerism and the pressure to perform rituals—whether that’s elaborate gift giving or maintaining mythical traditions like the Elf on the Shelf. At its core, this episode affirms: meaning and effort in relationships matter far more than money or spectacle—even if, as new parents, Alex and John admit they’re “just surviving sometimes at this point.”

Recommendations (From Alex & John)

• Sheertex unbreakable tights (84:23)
• Burt’s Bees lip balm (85:02)
• Holiday Gifting: Focus on one meaningful household gift, or opt for experiences over material things
• Handling Persistent Gifters: Donate, re-gift, or (only if bold) give the gift straight back

Closing

For new and veteran parents, couples, and anyone overwhelmed by the “to-do list” of modern holidays, Alex and John remind us: Embrace imperfection, skip what doesn’t bring you joy, and prioritize the small moments of thoughtfulness and connection.