83. Giving you work parties, family greed, and Santa Claus

Summary

Podcast Summary: Give It To Me Straight

Episode 83: Giving you work parties, family greed, and Santa Claus

Hosts: Alex & John
Release Date: December 23, 2025

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode finds Alex and John, a married couple and new parents, sharing unfiltered and humorous takes on surviving the holiday season with a baby, navigating family quirks around Christmas, handling work parties, setting boundaries with relatives, and answering listener questions. The episode mixes their signature banter with real talk about family, traditions, and festive stressors, delivering advice from both partners’ perspectives.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. First Family Trip & Traveling with a Baby

Timestamps: 02:12–13:31

• Alex and John describe their experience flying to Vegas with their baby, Lucy. There’s stress, sleep deprivation, and a newfound sense of camaraderie with other parents.
• John admits that parents traveling with babies deserve respect:

  “Babies on a plane, stressful… You're in a blender if something does go down.” (03:01, John)

• Alex shares her thoughts on vulnerability after becoming a parent, including heavy fears and “if we go down, we go down together” mentality.

Notable Moment:

Alex tears up thinking about family mortality, leading to a touching (and slightly dark) reflection on parenthood and capturing memories:

“I’m literally about to cry. Move on. We flew in a plane with Lucy. She did great. She slept.” (05:23, Alex)

• Light moments as John sings an improvised “banana song” to Lucy on the plane, and they vent about annoying fellow passengers:

  “What’s more annoying? …Quiet baby or Old Man Rivers up front, hacking up a lung?” (11:03, Alex)

2. Parenting & Emotional Triggers

Timestamps: 11:20–13:31

• Becoming parents changed the way they view TV and movies featuring kids—both teared up watching the new “Fantastic Four.”

• Alex was deeply moved by the storyline about a mother sacrificing everything for her child.

  “My nipples are hard and I have chills right now just thinking about it.” (12:57, Alex)

• Both agree: they’d never sacrifice Lucy for humanity, regardless of what movies say.

  “Would you offer up your baby to save the world? Fudge no. Everyone's dying.” (14:04, John)

3. Family Quirks: Gifts, Boundaries, and Holiday Anecdotes

Timestamps: 20:12–38:35

• John recounts stressful but funny interactions with his dad—a prime example of how parents can push their buttons, even inadvertently.

• There’s playful debate over memories: stories about gifts and music taste (was it John or Jen who tried to buy Mom Kenny G tickets?), leading to a lighthearted squabble.

  “You change your memory? … You're hijacking her memory.” (08:10–08:52, Alex)

• Candid talk about boundaries with gift-giving relatives, unnecessary presents, parents visiting, and setting limits.

  “When your family gives you gifts, just nod and say, ‘Huh,’ and then do whatever the fuck you want to do with them later.” (37:20, John)

4. Relationship Riffs: Household Annoyances

Timestamps: 24:01–34:33

• Hilarious, relatable banter about cleaning, misplaced household items, and minor spousal grievances. Ongoing debate about who’s truly responsible for restocking basic household goods gets passionate.

  “Are husbands immune to finding things or just looking for things in general?” (30:30, Alex)

• PDA awkwardness in front of in-laws, calling mother-in-law by her chosen grandparent name, and who gets the bedtime kiss.

5. Listener Q&A: Holidays, Boundaries, Gift Cards, and Santa

Timestamps: 42:20–88:14

• Work Parties:

  • John leans toward skipping most forced corporate events:

    “If I was in corporate, I just…I’d want to kill myself.” (47:32, John)

  • Alex sees the fun side but agrees mandatory participation is toxic.

• Gift Cards:

  • Not impersonal; in fact, often better than unwanted physical gifts:

    “If I'm getting you a gift card to a place you regularly shop at, pick out what you want.” (44:39, Alex)

• Family Money Greed:

  • Setting boundaries is key; it’s not your job to bail out family financially.

    “If someone asks for money and you say no, and they get butt hurt about it, it’s not my fault that you’re a fucking idiot.” (54:01, Alex)

• In-law Will Drama:

  • Story of a family reading their will aloud before opening presents.

    “It’s giving Succession…just as a family reminder, these are the rules of the will. Act accordingly.” (55:22, Alex)

• Hotel Instead of In-laws’ House:

  • Host’s take: Setting boundaries is healthy; hotel stays are smart for space and sanity, even if it offends the family.

• Santa Claus Dilemma:

  • Is 12 too old to believe? John: “He’s not gonna eventually know. He’s gonna eventually get beaten up.” (58:58, John)
  • Both share memories of discovering Santa isn’t real; Alex’s mom told her if she ruined it for her siblings, “I will end you.”
  • Ultimately, don’t let your kid be the one getting picked on for believing too long, but cherish the magic while it lasts.

• Holiday Hosting and Boundaries with Family:

  • When Alex reads a letter about a mom inviting herself for six days over Christmas, both advise: three days max, stand firm on boundaries, and don’t feel guilty about it.

    “You want to be miserable? Let her come for six whole fucking days. Three is the magic number. And that’s compromising.” (78:19, John)

• Affair Secret:

  • A listener asks whether she should confront her best friend who’s having an affair—with her ex-husband.

    “My thing is, have you recovered? How do you have the time?” (81:32, Alex)

• Corporate “Team Bonding” Pressures:

  • Both agree forced group activities and public speaking at large work events are unnecessary and potentially harmful for introverts.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Babies on a plane, stressful… You’re in a blender if something does go down.” (03:01, John)
• “Snakes on a plane, not stressful. Babies on a plane, stressful.” (02:43, Alex)
• “My nipples are hard and I have chills right now just thinking about it.” (12:57, Alex)
• “If someone asks you for money and you say no and then they get butt hurt about it, I’d be like, it is not my fault that you are a fucking idiot.” (54:01, Alex)
• “Would you offer up your baby to save the world? Fudge no. Everyone's dying.” (14:04, John)
• “You want to be miserable? Let her come for six whole fucking days. Three is the magic number.” (78:19, John)
• “If you ruin this for your brother and sister, I will end you.” (61:53, Alex’s mom via Alex about Santa)
• “If I was in corporate, I’d just…I’d want to kill myself.” (47:32, John)

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Segment Timestamps

• Vegas & Flying with Baby: 02:12–13:31
• Parenting/Emotional Triggers (Fantastic Four Movie): 11:20–14:55
• Family Quirks, Gifts, Boundaries: 20:12–38:35
• Couple’s Household Banter: 24:01–34:33
• Listener Question Blitz (holidays, boundaries, Santa, work parties): 42:20–88:14

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Tone & Style

• Playful, candid, and often irreverent; Alex and John riff on each other’s foibles candidly, don’t shy from dark humor, and intersperse practical advice wrapped in jokes and lived experience.
• Occasional swearing, lots of self-deprecating humor, and an authentic portrayal of the messiness of modern family life.

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Useful for Listeners Who…

• Want advice on holiday boundaries, navigating family expectations, and new parenting challenges.
• Appreciate real, sometimes raunchy talk on the realities of marriage, travel, and the holidays.
• Enjoy a balance of relatable laughter, vulnerable reflections, and “straight talk” on relationships and family.

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Final Takeaways

This episode delivers witty, honest perspectives on the chaos and comedy of holiday life—whether it’s flying with a baby, fending off in-laws’ oversteps, or untangling office party culture. Listeners walk away with both laughs and real strategies for holding their ground and cherishing what really matters during the festive season.

Transcript

[A]

The following podcast is a Dear Media Production. This episode is sponsored by Bobby Baby Formula. You all know feeding Lucy has been this mix of joy, chaos, and learning as you go. There are days I had to step away, maybe recording, running errands, or she's in the hotel room with grandma while we're working in Vegas and I want to know she's getting something I actually trust. That's where Bobby comes in. Bobby's USDA organic European inspired infant formulas were created by moms who couldn't find exactly what they wanted on the shelf, so. So they made it themselves. Every batch goes through over 2,000 safety and quality tests, plus third party testing before it ever leaves their US facility. They literally lose sleep over what goes into your baby's bottle so we don't have to. We use Bobi. Whether it's a full feeding combo feeding or just a backup for those just in case moments. It's modeled after breast milk and made with high quality premium ingredients so you could feed with confidence. No matter your journey, Bobby is trusted by parents and loved by over 700,000 babies. And it's been named a top organic infant formula 2025 by baby list, Parents magazine, and what to expect. Knowing that Lucy is happy, healthy and well fed while I'm away is priceless. If you want that peace of mind too, check out hi bobby.com and get 10 off with promo code straight. That is H I B O B B I E.com promo code straight. You were just on the recess playground being like, santa is real.

[B]

Hey, we were young, you Hollister.

[A]

And he's like, fuck you and your Hollister cologne. No Johnny mustache. And welcome back to Give it to Me Straight. I'm Alex.

[B]

And I'm John. And we're your gracious, gracious, gracious host.

[A]

How you doing, John? I'm running on three hours of sleep, four cups of coffee, and the holiday spirit.

[B]

Let's go.

[A]

I'm so tired.

[B]

Three hours. We went to bed at 2, got up at 8.

[A]

Oh, 8.

[B]

Actually, I don't know what time we got up. I never checked.

[A]

Well, we got up for a little bit in between.

[B]

Oh, yeah, whatever.

[A]

Twice in between. I think we're probably on four. Like five hours. Maybe four hours.

[B]

So Alex and I just flew back from Vegas last night.

[A]

You would have thought by looking at us maybe not today.

[B]

Partied.

[A]

Yeah. That we were out partying. No, we brought Lucy.

[B]

Hey.

[A]

Oh, our first trip with Lulu Head, guys. She did so good. I'm so proud of her.

[B]

She did amazing. I was so stressed out though, you were stressed. Because before, when we, before we had a kid and I always saw parents on a plane, I was like, I never want to deal with that. That has to be the most peak level of stress.

[A]

Snakes on a plane, not stressful. Babies on a plane, stressful. I. I don't know. I think because I've seen other friends do it so seamlessly that I was like, it'll be fine and whatever. If she cries, people have noise canceling headphones. Fly private. I don't give a fuck. Like when has a. A crying baby. I mean, again, I think it's how.

[B]

You look at it. Like, if I look up being on a plane with a baby, my own baby, one. We don't know how she's going to act. We don't know nothing. We didn't know if the pressure in her ears was going to cause her pain. You know, she hasn't pooped in three days, so was she going to be, you know, have a blowout, uncomfortable or that? But more so your stock. You're on a plane. You can't take her and just dip out somewhere to get away from everyone. You're. You're in a blender if something does go down.

[A]

Yeah, but at least if we go down, we go down together. That's my mentality. I was like, we can't leave her because then if you. Something happens to us, she's left alone.

[B]

At least she's alive.

[A]

But I'd rather go as a family.

[B]

You know, she's got her whole family here. She'll be fine.

[A]

She can. I can be the only one who can raise.

[B]

She'll have like a. What is it? Like an underdog story, you know, like, parents gone.

[A]

I think she'd be okay.

[B]

Came from.

[A]

I don't know that she'd really be considered an underdog. Like, yeah, both your parents died, so she's definitely getting into whatever college she wants. Just by writing about that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, but like, I don't want to die yet. Like, I didn't care about dying after we lost Leo. I was like, kill me now. But, like, now that we have her, I'm like, I got to live.

[B]

Right? Right.

[A]

So, like, again, that's why we have to do everything, like, as a family. And then it's just like a whole. We just. If we go down, we go down together. I'm.

[B]

I feel like. Or like my life's pretty.

[A]

You could just go on a trip.

[B]

My life's pretty complete. I can go. Like, I'm not ready to go, but like, now that I have her and I know that you don't, like, have.

[A]

The will to live.

[B]

No. Oh, no, I do. But I'm like, I'm just like, I'm. I'm glad I have her and, like, because now I know if I go, like, you're gonna always have a buddy. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm not like, leaving you behind.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

By yourself, but, like, I would be.

[A]

You can't leave me.

[B]

I'm not going to now. But I'm just, like, I feel more relieved that I'm not leaving you.

[A]

Oh. Without anything. Like, if it was just me and you, you'd leave me single. I feel like, if anything, it's more painful now that we share a child together.

[B]

Like, I know I'm never saying I was going to leave.

[A]

I have to look at her. But if I die, your memories and be like, your dad, he loves you. So, like.

[B]

And she, like, are you arguing she. Are you arguing with me right now? On, like. I'm just saying I feel like, better, like if I died tomorrow, today, I know that you're going to have a little piece of me. A little girl like you guys. You'll have someone forever.

[A]

John, it's the week of Christmas.

[B]

Too early for this.

[A]

For this. I'm literally about to cry. Move on. We flew in a plane with Lucy. She did great. She slept.

[B]

It was about to start crying.

[A]

I am, I'm tearing up. Like, you don't leave me. And I don't want to die either, but my, like, mental health issues is every time that you whip out that video camera, because John got an old school video camera to, like, you know, capture the long form memories of like, Christmas morning or holidays. And so every time he whips it out in my brain, I'm like, oh, these are gonna be the videos that Lucy's gonna watch when I die. Like the, you know those, like, TikToks where it's like the video montage of the mom. The footage of the mom who died in the, in the movie.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, God, yeah. I love those video cameras because the huge difference between that and these cameras we're using for the podcast. For example, I could just hit play, zoom in, zoom out, and if auto focus, like, I don't have to deal with anything. It's great. And I think the difference between, like, our generation, our parents, like, our parents would film and it'd be hours of like, opening Christmas present. We're here. I'm just doing quick clips. We just mash it all Together.

[A]

But I love watching long. I don't form videos.

[B]

Put a gun in my mouth.

[A]

Anyway, we have too much to talk about today. We're not going to talk about guns and putting them in your mouth because it is the holidays. Christmas isn't a few days. Hanukkah just ends. Happy holidays to ever. No matter what you celebrate. That's all that I had.

[B]

All right, so then you know, because I know some people are getting annoyed with us telling our, you know, intro story, so we're just gonna like breeze through them.

[A]

No, no, we're not. But we do have a lot of good questions today. But there's something Christmas wise that just came into my brain. John's mom came with us to Vegas. Like, that's another pro tip. Travel with grandma if you can. She came with us on the way. We, we traveled alone on the way back. But thankfully Lucy was still an angel. Slept the whole time. But when we were in Vegas, we were having a conversation with your mom. We were at dinner and we were talking about, you know, nice things to do during the holidays. And your mom was talking about how Disney is beautiful, how it's like gorgeous during the holidays, during Christmas. And I go, oh, did you bring the kids? Did you bring Jen and John when they were kids to Disney during Christmas? And she goes, no, I went by myself. I read that as sarcasm and I was like, of course, of course. Why would she. Of course she brought the kids. And then she starts telling the story about how she's go. I'm like, oh, you did actually go alone. And she goes, yeah, why would I bring them?

[B]

She just amazed me. If you knew my mother, you'd be like, you did what?

[A]

Yeah, you went to Disney alone. But I think she was there for work or something. And then she said she like walked around.

[B]

Same thing as like, my mom used to blast Kenny G and all this like fancy jazz music back in the day. And Alex and I thought it'd be nice to get her a gift. I think it was a couple Christmases ago or something.

[A]

See, I don't think it was us. Jen was going to give her a gift.

[B]

You.

[A]

You change your memory?

[B]

No. I knew my mom loved Kenny G and I was going to get her Kenny G tickets. Then I come to find out she loves Alex. What are you talking about? This.

[A]

You're taking Jen's story? This is your sister's story?

[B]

Honest? Kind of. My life was my story. I'm the one who remembers Kenny G because she blasted it every morning.

[A]

Your sister was gonna buy Her Kenny G ticket. She wasn't. I need Jen to fact check this. Like I'm.

[B]

I was 99. I was gonna buy our Kenny G tickets.

[A]

No, you're hijacking.

[B]

My mom goes. Oh, Kenny G. I love Lady Gaga.

[A]

You never would buy someone tickets to anything. Like, when are you. You talk about how, like, you aren't that thoughtful when it comes to your memory.

[B]

I know. Racking my brain for something for my mom.

[A]

This isn't your memory. This is Jen.

[B]

This is my memory.

[A]

You're hijacking her memory.

[B]

I'm not.

[A]

Jen's going to. Cuz Jen, literally, I think she bought them. And then your mom said, I don't want to go see Kenny G. I want to go see Lady Gaga.

[B]

That's a lot. It's me.

[A]

We'll come back. We'll circle back to this. I'm.

[B]

I think I've talked about on a previous podcast episode. So roll a tape.

[A]

This is Jen.

[B]

I'm pretty sure it's not.

[A]

It's not stealing your sister's.

[B]

No, I'm not. We'll. We'll move on though. Cuz I like how you're just trying to steal my thing that. I know what I did.

[A]

I was talking about Disney with your mom.

[B]

Moving on. And before we talk about the. Go back to the flight for a second on the way home, by the way we get in the seats. Lucy is an angel. She's sitting there. She's, you know, starting to fall asleep. And I'm. I'm like, what's my song? I sing. I'm like, four bananas in that tree. Lucy, what's up? Banana from the tree.

[A]

There's no beat. There's.

[B]

Lucy takes a banana from the tree.

[A]

Basically just like a countdown of how many bananas.

[B]

Stop talking over me and just let me sing the song. Lucy takes banana from the tree. How many bananas in the tree? Three bananas in that tree. The who? See, he's a banana out touch. Anyway, so. So I'm singing this.

[A]

Everyone. I'm so glad everyone heard the song that John needed to get out.

[B]

So I'm singing that to her. I'm singing. What's the song from that? Her mat that she's on. Like the purple my friend or something. Isn't that like the tune to it?

[A]

No.

[B]

Something about friends.

[A]

Okay, continue.

[B]

I'm just whatever I can and. But I'm like at this volume, like you and me.

[A]

Really low.

[B]

Really low.

[A]

Like I couldn't even hear you.

[B]

These two women in front of us. I see the one. Look through like, the crack of the chairs and. And sees Lucy in my arms. She goes, oh, no, it's a baby. And then the other one's like, oh, good. Because I was about to tell him to shut up. I'm like, bitch, I dare you to turn around.

[A]

I dare you.

[B]

I dare you to turn around.

[A]

So what's more annoying? On the flight. On a flight, someone, like, having a cute interaction with their baby who is literally not speaking or saying anything and maybe doing a cute coup here and there, or Old Man Rivers up front, hawking, hacking up a lung the whole time, sneezing, snorting. Disgusting.

[B]

He was hocking up and. And spitting. He was spitting, too. I don't know.

[A]

I was like, the whole flight, just. I'm. Anyway, so what's more annoying? You tell me. Quiet, baby.

[B]

It was just.

[A]

Or it was disgusting or disease, whatever.

[B]

People are annoying. Like, I now, being a parent, I just feel for any other parent, like, going through some stuff.

[A]

Glad you said that, because I was gonna say, now traveling with Lucy and, like, being out places or even just, like, watching content or watching movies. Like, I see parents and I see babies in a way that I've, like, never seen them before. And it's not that I never, like, notice parents walking through airports with babies or. But it's kind of like you just.

[B]

Clock each other thought, right?

[A]

Like, of the extra steps that they're having to go through or the potential torture that they're having to go through. I'm just like. I clock them and I'm like, good for you. You just, like, notice parents, you know, like, all the things. But I've noticed as well that because. And it could be because I'm tired. It could be because I'm still postpartum. And, like, we're just. I don't know. We have Lucy now, and I love her so much. But babies in movies, I notice. So on the way to the. To Vegas, John watches Fantastic Four. Good movie, by the way, with what's his face? Pedro Pascal.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I see him, like, tearing up, and he's like, you gotta watch this. And I'm like, okay. So I start it, and then on the way home from Vegas, I finish it.

[B]

I.

[A]

It wrecked me in a way that I had to pause it to stop sobbing. On this flight, I know. It is about. It's so good. And, like, maybe if we weren't parents, we wouldn't think it was good. But it touched me in a way that I know that I wouldn't have.

[B]

Been touched when I was watching it. I'M tapping Alex on the shoulder and, like, tapping the screen. Like, this scene. You don't have to watch this.

[A]

I, like, was out of breath.

[B]

Her speech she gave when she came out to the crowd, too.

[A]

Chills.

[B]

Like, I'm not going.

[A]

It was me seeing her fight Galacticon or whatever, and I'm like, oh, my God, she's a mom. She's giving everything to save her baby. Like, my nipples are hard and I have chills right now just thinking about it. Like, I could cry. It was just so good. And I didn't even look up the reviews because I'm sure people were like, trash.

[B]

Trash.

[A]

I loved it. I thought it was amazing.

[B]

I'm not. I know for Marvel movies, I'm like, they're all the same. This was not.

[A]

No, this was not Fantastic Four. Even if you're not a parent, you. It just. It touches you in a way that is so special.

[B]

So on Rotten Tomatoes, I don't know if any of these. What these mean for tomato meter, 86%, 90%. For popcorn meter, I don't know what those mean. So it was high. It was good. Yeah. I like the concept. It was. It wasn't corny.

[A]

And you're right, it was a little bit. It was more unique as opposed to just right. I don't even know. Power dynamics.

[B]

What else? This week I need to.

[A]

Oh, wait, hold on. I do want to go off of that. Based off of that movie, though, would you offer up your baby to save the world?

[B]

Fudge. No. Everyone's dying.

[A]

No, that's what I.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

Before we got to, like, the emotional parts of the movie. I'm watching this and I turn it on. I'm like, never. If. If some outer space man was like, your whole world dies unless you give us Lucy. Everybody does.

[B]

Throw a nuclear bomb in my face.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm not going to be a hypocrite because it was on someone else. I get it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We're all dying.

[A]

Exactly. Well. And that's why her speech was so meaningful. She's like, you know, we would. We're going to do this together. We're a big, whole family. But, yeah, I was thinking that, you.

[B]

Know, though, if I was somebody else, I don't give it. Fuck. I don't. Honestly, like, I get what you're doing, but, like, I don't need the fudgeing speech. No, we're not doing anything together. But.

[A]

Yeah, but I. What I didn't like is, like, again, the people turning on them for being like, give up the baby off.

[B]

Oh, Yeah, I wouldn't be turning on them. But like, I also don't need your speech. Like, I'm already gonna die. I don't need you to like double down and tell me no.

[A]

That's why it's. You're not, you don't have to die. If we work together, we don't have to die.

[B]

And that's if you're one of those random message, you know, we're not gonna die. This guy's the size of a planet.

[A]

That's what I was thinking too, you know, like, even if you were to hand in the baby, who's to say that he doesn't turn back and he's like, all right, fuck off. Anyways, this dead this episode is sponsored by the RealReal. It's that time of year. Time to find the perfect holiday gifts. And let's be honest, nobody wants to give something that will be exchanged for store credit. That's where the RealReal comes in. The RealReal is the most trusted name in authenticated luxury resale and it is my go to for finding real gifts for the special people in my life. In a world filled with gifts bound for return centers and landfills, we literally did an entire episode on it. The RealReal makes it easy to give something thoughtful, sustainable and one of a kind. I'm talking about the oh my God, how did you know Type of gift, the exact earrings they mentioned months ago, a bag from the brand they've secretly been stalking or something they'll absolutely love but would never think to buy for themselves. I personally shop on the RealReal all the time and have friends who sell there too. So it's really fun knowing that you could pass down these pieces for years to come. I found gorgeous holiday party outfits, clothes, classic bags and jewelry that will last forever. Plus it's sustainable, which makes me feel good about the gifts I'm giving. With thousands of pre loved designer items dropping daily, you can shop all your favorite brands like Gucci, Fendi, Prada, Louis vuitton, Tiffany & Co. Cardier and more. All from the comfort of your couch. And everything is authenticated by experts so you know it's the real deal. The RealReal is the world's largest and most trusted resource for authenticated luxury resale with thousands of premium loved luxury arrivals daily. No one does resale like the Real real and no one makes the holiday shine brighter than the RealReal. And now get $25 off your first purchase when you go to the realreal.com straight that's therealreal.com/straight to get your $25 off, start shopping now at therealreal.com/straight.

[B]

And this podcast is also sponsored by AG1 Vitamins. All right, let's be real for a second. This time of year is a lot. Between work, being extra hectic, holiday parties, travel, and holiday food literally everywhere, staying on track with your health can feel impossible. I'm not trying to be perfect. I just want something that helps me stay consistent when everything else is in chaos. That's why I've been using AG1. AG1 is a daily health drink that combines your multivitamin, pre and probiotics, superfoods and antioxidants into one simple green scoop. One scoop one once a day. That's it. And honestly, that's what I need right now. I'm not trying to juggle a cabinet full of supplements during the holidays. For me, it's part of my morning routine. I mix it up first thing, usually while I'm making coffee, and it just feels like I'm doing one good thing for my body before the day takes over. Especially when my diet isn't exactly balanced this time of year, that is for.

[A]

Sure. Especially this time of.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

[e-mail] My parents came to visit this past week and I really feel like my dad and I can have a show.

[A]

Because my dad, this is giving me and my friends would have the best podcast.

[B]

Energy. I know, I know, but I just think it's entertaining for outsiders. Not me. I just feel tortured. I'm going to, I'm just going to say, I'm going to start with preface by like. I love my dad. He's so caring, he's so thoughtful and everything but you want to meet someone who can send me from 0 to 60 in like 3 seconds? It's him. And I almost think he prides himself on.

[A]

That. 0 to 60, 0 to the moon. But like your dad doesn't even do it intentionally. But then he like doubles down and he like will give me the look and he'll be like, watch this. And he can just send, he literally sends you to outer space. To Galacticon.

[B]

Land. To Galacticon land. We are trying to put some blinds up in our house and my, my dad's like, well, let's go to Home Depot, get some measurements, whatever, whatever. We go there, we're there for an hour and a half. We end up not Getting any, so I have to order them online. We're sitting in the living room. He's sitting right next to me in the living room. No one's in there. It's quiet. There's. There's plenty of chairs. He's sitting right next to me. And I'm trying to order this thing and just. Just imagine this. Oh, I'm not gonna make the sound, but it's like, tick, tick, tick.

[A]

Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.

[B]

Ticking. Tick, tick, tick. He's got his sound on full blast, and he's texting out, which seems like a goddamn novel on his phone, with one finger at a time. And it's going on, I would say, for over 10 minutes. And I turn to him, I'm like, dad, do you really have to. And he goes. It just starts laughing, like, I didn't finish the sentence. And he just realized. He's like, oh, is that.

[A]

Loud? It is actually entertaining watching you guys, even, like, after we had Lucy, seeing you just, like, lose your mind. It is.

[B]

Funny. Asking for all.

[A]

That. He's always.

[B]

Entertaining. Yeah, that's one thing. The next thing, again, out of the goodness of his heart, he's helping me try to put in this. This travel, which I'll talk about later, this travel car seat base in the car, because I thought that's what we needed. We spend over an hour in the garage trying to put this car base in. And he's like, no, it's like this. I'm like, no, like, you know, a typical. I'm like, I'm pretty sure it's like this. So he gives me the seatbelt, and I'm trying to connect it on my side, and I kind of bend down and he takes the bass and decides to push it and fucking slams it into my head. He's like, oh. But, like, looks at me like, it's my fault. I just. I just leave. I. I just left and went.

[A]

Upstairs. I can, like, I know exactly the face that you made. And, like, when you just shut up and walk.

[B]

Away. I need a minute. I need him. I need a minute. Sometimes I go another room and.

[A]

I just like, you gotta be more patient, though. Like, your dad, he literally has a heart of gold. Like, he's just the sweetest. And he's.

[B]

So. Everyone knows your parents trigger you. Everyone knows your own parents trigger you. Then he takes Alex's pumps. Oh, are these.

[A]

Speakers? He thought, like, my mobile breast pumps? Because, again, they. They. He's not wrong. They kind of do look like speakers. He was like, oh, what are these?

[B]

Speakers. He's putting the tit suction cup thing to his ear. He's like, what kind of speaker is.

[A]

This? I'm like, a milky one. Well, maybe someone will reach out so you could live out your reality show.

[B]

Dreams. And you and your dad rat race. Can you imagine dad and I doing rat.

[A]

Race? You mean the Amazing Race? Like, whatever you like. You're the one who always brings up rat race. Then you're like, that's Alex's favorite movie. It's.

[B]

Not. I mix it. Is it the same.

[A]

Thing? Rat Race Holes isn't my favorite.

[B]

Movie. Your favorite holes. Couple updates on Alex this week. Couple random things. Updates on me, on YouTube. Alex comes out of the shower, looks at me dead serious. She goes, do you ever clean out your belly.

[A]

Button?

[B]

Oh. And I'm like, what? Yeah. She's like, no, no. Like, you really do. You really get in there and, like, clean out the lint in your belly button. I'm like, yeah, black.

[A]

Stuff. Not even black stuff, but just, like, how often. I think it also depends on the shape of your belly.

[B]

Button. I don't have the exact phrase that she said. I thought I did, because I.

[A]

Go, how often are you deep cleaning your belly button? Because, like, yeah, when you're in the shower, you're washing your body, but are you taking a Q tip and getting in there every.

[B]

Time? Why do you need a Q.

[A]

Tip? That's what I'm saying. Like, I have an innie. And so, like, I'm.

[B]

Not. Every day I have an.

[A]

Innie. Not. Oh, you do. That's. That's my point. You're probably. You probably think that I'm just talking about, like, general shower clean. Like, of course you're getting to your belly button. I'm talking about, like, actually deep.

[B]

Cleaning. I've never done that. No, I take, like, the. The what? What do we have? It's not a washcloth. It's like.

[A]

A. It's a sponge. A net.

[B]

Sponge. A net sponge? Yeah. I get in there with the net sponge and behind my ears and all that. You know who doesn't do it? What's his name? Selena Gomez's.

[A]

Husband. Why are you so obsessed with his hygiene? Who.

[B]

Cares? Because it bothered.

[A]

Me. You don't.

[B]

Get. You don't say he didn't have enough time. He doesn't have enough time to wash every.

[A]

Day. You're not hanging out with him. He's not. Like, you're not smelling his box.

[B]

Cares. Him saying, like, he's too busy to do a deep clean. Even a Regular clean in the.

[A]

Shower. Wait till he has kids. He's never going to be showering then still.

[B]

Shower. You still.

[A]

Shower. I know we do, but still work out. People do say, oh, my God, I would love to work out more. I just. Again, I'm too tired. You just do what you can. You do what you.

[B]

Can. I.

[A]

Just. Fully in survival mode right.

[B]

Now. Yeah, yeah, you know, we're just.

[A]

Doing. So what. What triggered you about my belly button question? You didn't think that I'm showering my body and going over my belly.

[B]

Button? I guess if you. Well, now that I'm getting the details, I guess we.

[A]

Did. Yeah. I'm talking about, like, how often are you getting in there with a Q tip? And like, actually, because when you have an innie, it's like you're not always in there all the.

[B]

Way. No, no. Another thing Alex and I are still having issues with is PDA in front of my parents.

[A]

Alex. Oh my God, the.

[B]

Most. Alex, going to bed. First off, Alex doesn't know how to what to call my parents. I mean, just say Lynn and David. I do, but sometimes you try to avoid sentences with like, starting with no, no.

[A]

I. With your mom. I keep pausing because it took her so long to figure out what she wanted Lucy to call her. And Lucy's not even speaking. So when I would hand over Lucy, I'd. That's when I hesitate because I'm.

[B]

Like Nona.

[A]

Lynn. And I really didn't know what she would want to be called because I don't want to offend her by calling her grandma, even though my. Whatever. Grandma is a fine term. I call everybody Grandma, but I just. That's where. So I usually just call your mom.

[B]

Lynn. So pda back to pda. It's. We don't. We're not PDA people at all. But like, Alex is going to bed. We're finishing up a movie because my parents are visiting. Alex goes, you know, down the list, says good night to my mom, gives her kiss on the cheek, good night to my dad. I. If you're watching, I'm. I have. Did I even have.

[A]

Lucy? No. I was taking her to.

[B]

Bed. I was sitting on the couch. If you're watching. I was like this lips pucker, thinking I was next in line. And she breezed past me. She'd even say good night. Oh, you maybe said goodnight. You're like, kiss it. You didn't even make eye contact with me. And I'm like, I'm all right. I'll see you in.

[A]

There. I really like. It was so unintentional, but at the same time, like, yeah, unconsciously intentional. I think because there's been so many instances where then you kiss me on the cheek. It's even weirder because I'd rather kiss you on the cheek than kiss you on the lips and then accidentally kiss like your parents on the.

[B]

Lips. Oh my.

[A]

God. So I think it's just like everybody gets a cheek kiss and then we can fuck.

[B]

Later. I just, I think we just, we gotta commit to like, okay, we can always give a little.

[A]

Smooch. Like a little pack my head, like my brain. It's hard enough for me to come up with sentences. I can't rely on myself to not just be smacking people on the lips with my lips. Like, if I'm just doing so kiss. Cheek kiss. Cheek is cheese. Everybody gets a cheek it. That's.

[B]

It. I think I was saying that. And I remember like earlier episodes. I'm like, I hate doing like.

[A]

The. I.

[B]

Know. And now I'm doing it all the time to.

[A]

People. We're.

[B]

Hypocrites. I.

[A]

Know. You.

[B]

Know? I.

[A]

Know. We go back and forth just depending on the.

[B]

Day. Last thing about Alex and I would like your guys opinions on.

[A]

This. Alex, I just put together a list for you. Like, should I be doing this? You know what, I'll bring up something after this.

[B]

Go. I. I would like your opinions in the comments because Alex thinks I'm doing this too much. Sucking boogers.

[A]

Out. Yeah, I do think you're doing that too.

[B]

Much. She has something in her nose. We had the electric booger sucker. She's uncomfortable. I'm going to suck it out.

[A]

Of her nose if she's uncomfortable. But.

[B]

She. If you can hear the booger, it's blocking her airway. You need to suck it.

[A]

Out. But that's not what's happening. Like last night you go, let's go get those boogers. I'm like, number one, I don't hear any. Number two, she seems fine. I look, there's like a little frail and you're like, let's go suck it.

[B]

Up. I. I sucked it out. No, not that. I sucked a piece out because I could see.

[A]

It. I just feel like you're a little too obsessed with sucking her.

[B]

Boogers. And I'm like, I mean, it's gratifying for.

[A]

Sure. It's like someone who's obsessed with popping other people's pimples. It's like, just leave their pimples.

[B]

Alone. I want to maximize any sort of sleep Possible. Plus, after you gave her a bath, I'm like, oh, so they're loosened up now because it's so dry right now. It's too hard to get the boogers out when they're.

[A]

Dry. Dry is so dry in Vegas. But anyway, I just think that you are sucking her boogers.

[B]

Unnecessarily. Okay, well, let us know, because she thinks I'm gonna blow out her navel cavity or.

[A]

Something. Navel? Nasal.

[B]

Yeah. I'm gonna be like, nasal.

[A]

Cavity. She's gonna go. And they're gonna be like, has she been snorting coke the whole six months, three months of her life? It's like, just leave her. Leave her nose alone. You're just too in there too often. I just feel like. Just give it a beat, you know? Like, she's gonna have boogers. Just wait until she needs them.

[B]

Removed. I don't know. Wait till she, I think, agree to disagree. Until someone gives me the.

[A]

Facts. That's it.

[B]

Okay. Facts. I need.

[A]

Facts. Maybe we should ask our pediatrician.

[B]

Update on last week's.

[A]

Episode. No, I want to bring up something about you now, because, like, okay, you had, like, a whole list of things about me. I have a question. Are husbands immune to finding things or just looking for things in general? Because if we're out of something, for example, if, like, we're low on.

[B]

Toilet paper, I'm the one who gets.

[A]

It. That's not what I.

[B]

Say. And orders.

[A]

It. Okay, fine. John will go, oh, he'll use up the rest of the toothpaste, and he'll be like, we're out of toothpaste. And I go, are we out? Did you look to make sure that there's no extra toothpaste laying around in our house? This is how we end up with 13 tubs of tooth tubes of toothpaste is because you never check to see where the extra. For example, you're also scrubbing the dishes this morning. You go, oh, this sponge is disgusting. We need new ones. And I go, there's 18,000 new ones under the sink. We do not need to buy new sponges. We have 50,000 of.

[B]

Them. Why don't you take a proactive approach? Why don't you look. Take a proactive approach, and instead of me, we don't have a flashlight. Alex, you notice I'm always the one.

[A]

Though. It's in the closet. It was literally. But why do I have to tell you? Just use your.

[B]

Eyeball? Because you're the one who. You're the one who puts it somewhere, and I can't find it.

[A]

John. Just check. And I literally told like you should know where.

[B]

This. So everyone also knows I'm the one who restocks everything, not.

[A]

Alex. That is a lot. That's not a cold face lie.

[B]

Today. Even today. I just ordered more stuff for us and she was traveling anytime soon. And guess.

[A]

What? We are in three months from now. You're so annoying. We were literally not traveling for three months. And John goes, I just want to be prepared. You don't have to be so prepared. You are turning into your mom. Your mom sends Christmas cards to us in.

[B]

May. We're traveling next month. I know I'm going to forget. So I got travel toiletries. Okay, Shoot.

[A]

Me. And how many do we have already? We have so.

[B]

Many. Don't. There's no spray deodorant. There's no travel toothpaste. I looked down for the travel. I looked out for the toothpaste. There's no toothpaste down here. Also, I found the last thing of toothpaste. Also. You're telling me. You're telling me. Are we out of toothpaste? I'm like, I know we are. Alex is using the end of a deodorant stick to push some sort of toothpaste because she doesn't want to go fucking find the toothpaste that we have. So I have to go find.

[A]

Toothpaste and bring it.

[B]

Up. Go get the toothpaste too, Face. Why? Take a proactive.

[A]

Approach. You're the one who should have replaced the toothpaste. Because you're the one who threw the toothpaste in the garbage and there was still more left in.

[B]

It. Like, help.

[A]

Me. There was still more out and then there was plenty of tooth.

[B]

Assistance.

[A]

Please. You're.

[B]

Wrong. No, I'm.

[A]

Not. You're.

[B]

Wrong. No, I'm not.

[A]

Wrong. If you just look to see that we already have these things that you want to.

[B]

Replace. We don't. We don't have travel.

[A]

Toothpaste. I just looked.

[B]

At. Anyways, you're welcome. I'm the one who resupplies everything. Toilet paper just like paper.

[A]

Towels. Or just for a second.

[B]

Just. Just proactively. I ask Alex, what do you need at the grocery store? I'm proactive. You are.

[A]

Not. Okay, okay.

[B]

Okay. I will die on this fucking.

[A]

Hill. You just don't look for things again. We could go back to the.

[B]

Flashlight. I can't find things. No, but you scatter shit.

[A]

Everywhere. I put the fucking belong Jungle.

[B]

Scatters. National.

[A]

Sponges. Where do they go? They're all under the sink. I was like, I can't find. I can't find the.

[B]

Sponges. But why? You know it's a trash sponge. Why am.

[A]

I. You're the one who said it's a trash sponge. We're both using the sponge. You could throw it.

[B]

Out. And you're waiting. You're waiting for.

[A]

Me. I'm actually.

[B]

Waiting. No, I'm not waiting till there's only a sliver. You would wait till there's only a sliver left of the.

[A]

Sponge. Dude, that is not me at all. I'm the one who would throw it out first.

[B]

First. And this bunch is so.

[A]

Grody. Throw it out.

[B]

Then. What are you going to do? So your defense is my defense. We're just waiting for the other.

[A]

Person. You up after this podcast? We need to move on. We have so many great questions and we're in the holiday spirit. Oh, wait, John, I actually did want to ask you, what is your favorite Christmas memory from childhood if you could remember back that.

[B]

Far? Oh, God, I don't remember. Like, I think I got a bike. I got a bike.

[A]

Once. Tell me the.

[B]

Story. It's like Orange Huffy. I think it was in the.

[A]

Garage. Oh, that just brought back a memory for me. I got a bond goose that.

[B]

Had pegs on the back. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And I wanted pegs because, like, you could have friends then ride on the back of your bike. We would go to 711 and get.

[B]

Slurpees. Little BMX bike riding. Oh, I did get like this old school, like dirt bike once, but it was like from the 70s, so it didn't really work. It was like it went, I want to say like five miles an.

[A]

Hour. Did you have good Christmases when you were a kid? Like that? You.

[B]

Remember? I'm sure your mom always got more gifts than me, cuz she's the pride shot. But it's.

[A]

Fine. Okay, but more gifts doesn't necessarily mean, like, better.

[B]

Quality. No, they were okay. For.

[A]

Sure. I'm sure that's not the.

[B]

Case. That's definitely the.

[A]

Case. Your parents love you equally. And this is where you say, do you have any Christmas memories.

[B]

Alex? I need to be better at. I mean, I guess because I'm not. I'm not interested. Like, I just want to move past.

[A]

This. I can't wait to share my.

[B]

Memories. Sure, Alex, tell me. Let's talk about your memories for the next 20.

[A]

Minutes. Like, you know, I'm just. Even if you didn't ask, I'm just gonna be like, thank you. Here's my memories. Anyway, as a kid, I really wanted. I don't know if anyone remembers this. There was this doll called Amazing Ally. It would speak and I was like, holy shit. This doll talks like, I want her so bad. I remember being like, to my parents, I will not believe in Santa if I don't get Amazing Ally. I'm sure, like, they went to the end. So it was, like, as popular as Tickle Me Elmo back in the day. I got Amazing Ally. Hated her. I was like, yo, this is.

[B]

Scary. Actually, that's a plot.

[A]

Twist. And she's.

[B]

Annoying. Do you know what she looked like beforehand?

[A]

No. No, I knew what she looked like. But, like, when I actually had her as the doll, I couldn't. Like. I just didn't like her. I couldn't stand her. It was weird. And then so I threw her down into the basement. I also think it could have been because I watched Chucky, and Chucky scared the shit out of me. And I was like, amazing Ally is going to kill.

[B]

Me. Well, that was a plot twist. Did you have a.

[A]

Furby? I did have a Furby and I love them.

[B]

Too. It's the same thing. Those things are fucking evil. Look like a.

[A]

Gremlin. No, because those were, like, animals. I don't think that those were evil. Like, dolls like Chucky and Furby. Different categories. Amazing Ally, Chucky.

[B]

Cousins. Well, there's other stuff we could talk about, but we're not going to because we need to jump into questions. Actually, I have to do a update from last week's episode about gift giving. I didn't listen to any of my advice. My parents brought six bags of shit to our house. And I just took it and I just. What do we do? What do we.

[A]

Do? It's, like, still out on our.

[B]

Counters. So basically, when your family gives you gifts, just nod and say, huh? And then do whatever the fuck you want to do with them.

[A]

Later. But you know what? You did, like, talk shit, though, which I didn't. I didn't appreciate. Like. And I don't think your mom appreciated either, because it's the.

[B]

Only. Like, yeah, you know, I think I'm just kind of tired of, like, why are you getting this.

[A]

Bullshit? It was. It was not. We don't want this. Yours were like, why? And then I felt like your mom had to, like, give explanations. And I was like, just say thank you.

[B]

John. But that's the thing. Like, why don't you ask us first? Yeah, it's your grandkid, but it's our kid. I don't know. I think there's, like, again, boundaries are a.

[A]

Thing. I don't know. But I think when it actually comes down to it, it's just, like, etiquette. Just, like, who cares about, like, your actual feelings? Bite the bullet and just, like, say thanks. You know, not every internal thought has to become an outside thought. Go to therapy and write in your.

[B]

Journal. Because I feel.

[A]

Better. But you don't, because here you.

[B]

Are. You don't express, like, when people are just giving you stuff and you need to express it and be like, just, you know, like, we don't need this. We don't want this. We don't need this. It's not for you. Okay, well, she's drooling in the corner. I don't think she knows it's for her either, but.

[A]

Whatever. Oh, I was like, don't talk about Grandma like.

[B]

That. All right, let's just. Can we just get into questions.

[A]

Please? Yeah, let's just dive.

[B]

In. This podcast is also sponsored by ADT Security. It's that time of year again when you start arranging pumpkins on the stoop, try out a new cranberry sauce recipe, and plan out a tablescape that'll outdo last year's. In other words, it's when you break out all your DIY holiday skills. And now ADT is making it easy to DIY your home security, too. Their systems aren't just simple to set up, they also fit within your budget. So get excited for your next project because your peace of mind just went DIY. When every second counts, count on ADT. Visit ADT.com to learn.

[A]

More. Thank you so much to Google Shopping for sponsoring this episode. Guys, holiday party season is upon us. I've always been a sucker for a good holiday party where I could dress to the nines. But finding an outfit that fits the vibe is no small feat. Online shopping can be overwhelming because you don't know what's going to look good in person. But also, who has the patience for in store shopping.

[B]

Anymore? Not.

[A]

Us. I don't. This year I have such a good hack for you guys. Google's try on feature. I'm shocked at how easy and accurate it is. Instead of ordering a whole new wardrobe to my door with a million different shipping times and then finding out that most don't fit the vibe. Anyway, with this tool, I can actually virtually try on my clothes before I buy them. This is from the future. Is this not what everybody has been wanting from the time that you're a kid? I just Pull up a festive outfit on Google Shopping, tap the Try it button. Then I upload a full body picture of myself in fitted clothing and boom. Within seconds, Google shows me what the outfit looks like on me. I can now try on multiple different fits without even getting up off of the couch. No more tracking a million shipping links and no more returns. Which, let's be real, is the worst part. We all hate returning.

[B]

Things. Again, I'm the one who returns.

[A]

It. But yeah, this is just saving us time for everything. With Google's Try on feature in your pocket this holiday season, here's to looking fab with no added hassle. Check it out on gco Shop.

[B]

Tryon and this podcast is also sponsored by Wayfair. The holidays showed up out of nowhere and suddenly we're hosting, people are sleeping over and Alex is walking around the house noticing everything that needs one last touch. So of course Wayfair saved us, because when the holidays hit fast, you need stuff fast. We realized we needed a few last minute updates to make the house actually holiday ready. First of all, that white rug. Beautiful in theory, absolutely unhinged in practice, between guests, a dog, and life in general, it had to go. We replaced it with a darker rug from Wayfair that still looks great but doesn't give me anxiety every time someone walks in with the shoes.

[A]

On. Or if John. Or if John pours a whole.

[B]

Cup of coffee on it or Alex pours wine and dumps stuff on it all the time. That's. I've never done that. And then Alex found a decor piece we definitely didn't need, but somehow it pulled the entire room together. You know exactly what I'm talking about. It showed up, we put it in place, and suddenly the space made sense. That's the Wayfair effect. What I love is that Wayfair is truly a one stop shop. Bedding and linens for the guest room, Done. Throw pillows, accent chairs, lighting for the living room, done. Kitchen stuff for hosting, also done. And it all showed up fast with free delivery. Even on the big stuff, which is huge when you're on a deadline. Wayfair made it ridiculously easy to find things in our style and actually stay on budget. There's something for every home, every space, and every price point. Plus their gift guides are clutch. When you're trying to check everyone off your list without overthinking it, now it's the time to do it so you're not scrambling last minute and can actually enjoy the holidays with your family. Instead of assembling furniture at midnight, get last minute hosting essentials, gifts for all your loved ones and decor to celebrate the holidays. For way less, head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W-A Y F A I R.com Wayfair every style, every.

[A]

Home. Question number one. How do you guys handle the busy holiday season? It feels like every single weekend is dedicated to separate extended family parties and friends with no time for actual family. We.

[B]

Don'T. We don't. Also. We don't. We have a newborn. We're in the trenches. We don't. We're. We're just.

[A]

Surviving. Yeah. I actually have no advice. Like, we don't. We haven't had balance in a while. Like, I don't actually know.

[B]

Balance. We had two weeks off for maternity leave.

[A]

Total. And, like, I'm so tired, so I don't have any advice. Next question. Should we answer that? Should we answer that question.

[B]

Though? How did it.

[A]

Do? I mean, maybe if I were to take my own advice, it would say I. I would say say no. Like, no is okay. You can say no. You don't have to say yes to.

[B]

Everything. Okay, one thing, because I don't. I don't know, like, we need to talk about this. We have, like, three different, like, family Christmas things. I'm like, are we gonna do all three? I don't want.

[A]

To. What? What family.

[B]

Christmas? We have your new. Your Christmas Eve thing with your parents, your grandmother's party or something. And then we have Christmas Day, which I think also means that we can come over to their house.

[A]

Too. But at the end of the day, we could do whatever we want, right? I mean, that's what I'm.

[B]

Saying. It.

[A]

Just. If I were to take my own advice, I would just say no to some things. I don't. But to me, like, those family things that you just mentioned, like, aren't the stressful things. It's like the work that we continue to say yes to. Like, we have no problem saying no to, like, outside parties. I feel like we say no more than we say yes, but we say yes to work.

[B]

More.

[A]

Right. And so that's where we don't really have a lot of, like, family balance. But just say no. You just got to set those.

[B]

Boundaries. Everyone's life. Yeah, everyone's life is different depending on, like, what. What is your work life situation like, you know?

[A]

So. Next question. What are your thoughts on gift cards? Some people have told me it's rude to give a gift card if you know the person well. Are Gift cards. Impersonal and.

[B]

Rude. Love.

[A]

It. I don't think.

[B]

So.

[A]

No.

[B]

Yeah. Also clutch for the.

[A]

Airplanes. I also just don't understand a world in which someone is going to give. Get a gift from someone and be like, this is rude. Shut the fuck up, you ungrateful.

[B]

Swine. You're lucky you got.

[A]

Something. Exactly. And like, if I'm getting you a gift card to a place that you regularly shop at, pick out what you want, it saves that person a trip from getting something that they don't.

[B]

Want. Yeah, that or a fucking.

[A]

Blender. And then you what, you have to go return the blender, give it to someone who also doesn't want a.

[B]

Blender. Or.

[A]

You'Re. Or you're donating the.

[B]

Blender.

[A]

Exactly. No, Gift cards aren't rude. Anyone who says that, I highly.

[B]

Recommend. And this was your idea, bringing gift cards on a.

[A]

Plane? That wasn't even my idea. That was. I got that from Tik Tok. And your mom had said that because it's like again, the flight attendants, they really appreciate it. Holiday season, it's like, yeah, they're working in customer service. They're just exhausted, I'm sure. So yeah, just like, you know, throw your flight attendants some love as well for.

[B]

Sure. Gift cards. I'm. I'm down for next.

[A]

Question. My husband hates Christmas and all holidays because he thinks they are a waste of money and just a way to spend money and be a consumer. I come from a family that celebrated Christmas very heavily, so it's crazy to me. We've been married for three years and together for 10. And his hatred for Christmas seems to get worse every year. What can I do to get past.

[B]

This? I get it. I get a dog. Consumerism at its finest, of.

[A]

Course. But like to be with someone who's just a Grinch, just like I just hate when other people's grouchy grinchy energy rubs off on you. So it's just like try to put up a divider and continue to.

[B]

Shine. To be honest, I'm actually pumped this year or maybe when Lucy's older, cuz it's a different. I don't care about me getting gifts or giving other adults gifts. I think it's weird. But with kids I'm excited. Like it's a whole different ball game now to see like the light in their eyes and the jingles and jangle or whatever, the music, the gifts.

[A]

That I feel like between adults, even with kids, I just love experiences. Like, let's go create memories, you.

[B]

Know? Yeah, sure, whatever. Anyways, back to maybe you guys have kid. Do you have kids? You know, like is. That's different. Cuz he. You can't be like, be miserable about Christmas and then you're like doing it for your children, you.

[A]

Know. True. Yeah. Like do you have kids involved here? And even. But even if you don't just let him be miserable, like who.

[B]

Cares? You're going to change.

[A]

That. Yeah, like you're not going to change him. And I feel like almost the more that you try to get him.

[B]

To send them on a trip, be like, I'm going to go, you go play golf or.

[A]

Something. Go get out of my holiday.

[B]

Spirit. Then he could correlate Christmas with like him going to do something he wants to go do or just like.

[A]

Divorce. Next question. I genuinely want to know your opinion on corporate work Christmas parties. I personally don't attend, but my company does throw really nice events. I hear about drama that has happened afterwards and I never regret not attending, but do you think it makes me look a certain way? My company also has really expensive raffle gifts, but this year they notified everyone that the prizes are tax deductible. So basically you're paying 30% to win courtside seats or a weekend at the Miramar Santa Barbara.

[B]

Yikes. I'm not good. I've just heard my mom on some of her conference calls. I'm like, if I was in corporate, I just, I want to kill.

[A]

Myself. I would. The only reason why I want to hire people is to have a holiday Christmas.

[B]

Party. Opposite forced, mandatory.

[A]

Parties. Mandatory, not mandatory, but like, I just love a Christmas.

[B]

Party. You don't find that corporate life is toxic like a corporate.

[A]

Culture? Have you seen the office.

[B]

John? Fun office is.

[A]

Hilarious. I'm just.

[B]

Kidding. But I mean, I just think things are mandatory or forced. Even if they're not. It's like it looks bad if you don't go. You should be able to do your job and just fuck off. And you don't have to make it about building these corporate relationships like you're there to.

[A]

Work. I don't think a holiday party is.

[B]

Mandatory. I don't. Maybe not all places, but maybe some places.

[A]

Maybe. But let's go to the. So I don't think it makes you look a certain way. Maybe people might look at you and just be like, oh, they don't care to join in. But like, you know, because they're creating memories. There's probably lots of drama and hookups that happen. But like, the less, you know, like keep that, keep that line of Separation. If like you don't want to be drinking with your coworkers, I don't blame you. But what's interesting is the tax deductible ones. I mean like these, these were.

[B]

When I did my therapy, my OT thing. God, it was so long.

[A]

Ago. What OT.

[B]

Thing? Where we do it. Oh yeah, that.

[A]

Venue. Yeah. Was that in New.

[B]

York? Yeah, when I was.

[A]

Working. That was right. And you brought me as your plus one and I was like, I've never been to a holiday party and it was.

[B]

Huge. That was, I think my first hollow holiday corporate party thing. I guess it's considered a corporate because it was like all of the.

[A]

Like health care that is.

[B]

Cr. And it was.

[A]

Uncomfortable. I was like, yeah, it was a little bit awkward, you know, cuz like you're in this.

[B]

You. I guess like you're used to everyone wearing scrubs and now everyone's like dressed up talking about their partners even though you know, like you know, and then it's just.

[A]

True. Like when your work people you talk about your personal life.

[B]

With.

[A]

Yeah. And so like when you meet.

[B]

That said person, oh my.

[A]

God. There's probably a lot of fun drama that goes on. And maybe that's why I would love to like just go to a holiday party is to just be like. Because me and you only work together, so I love hearing about other people's drama. Which is probably why I left reality TV show because I'm just like, it's just me, you and.

[B]

Lucy. Anyway, so for me it's like a hard pass because I just feel like it's forced if you have to present yourself in a certain way. That's forced. That's a forced thing for you to.

[A]

Do. Whatever. I think it could be a good time if you like again, don't get so blackout at those parties. I'll make it more fun again when it comes to the prizes. Yeah, that's fucking annoying that they make you pay taxes on them because we also being as being content creators, get a lot of pr. We had one, one brand send us things that we didn't ask for. What did we get at the end of the year? A.

[B]

1099. And we got.

[A]

Taxed. Taxed on things that were gifted we never asked for. Excuse me. Yeah, anyway, that's annoying. Next.

[B]

Question. Actually, you know what? I would love to go to a corporate party if it was like, okay, you can win like three weeks pto. I'm like, I'm there, I'll fight for.

[A]

That. Would you still get taxed on.

[B]

That? I Guess we're not talking about tax. I'm talking about PTO pay time.

[A]

Off. Right. Can you still get taxed on paid time off? I guess you are, because you're getting paid. So, yeah, you're.

[B]

Getting. Yeah. But you're also getting three weeks off.

[A]

Right? Yeah, that would actually be a good.

[B]

Everyway. Every giveaway is just random part and random PTO.

[A]

Purse. Next question. Should people stay home or postpone holiday functions when they are sick? I 30, female, got married during the pandemic back in 2020-2021, people were very cautious about testing, masking and staying home when sick. However, it seems most people are back to showing up to family and work parties with the sniffles or worse. I think it's super inconsiderate. We don't want to get sick just for the sake of participating in a holiday. I just canceled on a holiday event because I got some upper respiratory thing and I think everyone should maintain this as a norm. What are your.

[B]

Thoughts?

[A]

100%. Wasn't that even the norm before the pandemic? Like, stay home if you're sick, you don't want other people to.

[B]

Get. I get that some people can't afford to do that. Like, if it's going to work. Or is it just extracurricular.

[A]

Activities?

[B]

Right. Wear a fucking mask for work, especially around babies. Just like, no one can afford to get sick. You're. You're sick, you're in the trenches. Be alone, be alone. Especially if you know you're.

[A]

Contagious. But yeah, I think that's the worst is when someone who just has FOMO shows up sick and I'm like, why are you here? Oh, yeah, yeah, Stay, stay.

[B]

Home. Stay the.

[A]

Home. It doesn't matter. People say that and they're not going to, you know, but yeah, that should be the norm. People are gross. Next question. Clean your belly.

[B]

Buttons. Clean your belly buttons.

[A]

People. How do you navigate the holidays after family members have asked you for money? For context, my husband recently got a job in his field after six months of searching. He's a PA and makes a decent salary, but he also just paid for about six years of postgraduate education. We're not super well off, but we could pay our bills, live comfortably and save a bit. About a year ago, his family started to ask him for money for bills and other expenses. He put his foot down and said no, thankfully. With the holidays coming up, how do we deal with the uncomfortable topic of why didn't you give us.

[B]

Money? It's a weird Christmas.

[A]

Ask. I thought this Question was going to go that they asked for money and then they're buying Christmas presents. You know what I mean? Like if you.

[B]

Gave. No, they're asking. Are they asking for money for.

[A]

Christmas? No, they're. I don't know what they're asking money for. I'm saying where I thought that this question was going to go. That like, if I'm asking you for money, you give me money and then I'm buying other people Christmas presents and I haven't given you your money back. You know what I mean? That's.

[B]

Weird. That's just where I was going with that.

[A]

No. Okay. I don't know why they would ask why you didn't you give us money? I don't think that they would ask you.

[B]

That. Is it like siblings or parents? I wasn't paying.

[A]

Attention. It just said family.

[B]

Members. Weird. It's a weird thing to ask for. Give me.

[A]

Money. That's another thing.

[B]

Too. Give me that.

[A]

Money. I guess, like who. If you genuinely. We've said this before, if you want to help someone out financially, that's one thing. You have to give that, knowing you're probably not going to get that back and that's fine. Like, if that's what you want to do. But if someone asks you for money and you say no and then they get butt hurt about it, I'd be like, it is not my fault.

[B]

That you are a fucking.

[A]

Idiot. Unless again, they fell on tough times because they got sick or like situationally out of their.

[B]

Control. Even if that did happen, and then they got mad because you didn't give them money, it's still not your fucking.

[A]

Problem. And that's the hard part. It's like you.

[B]

Can'T. Like the audacity of someone getting upset because of their own issues. Being mad that someone else didn't help them out is fucking crazy victim.

[A]

Mentality. Yeah. So I don't know. With the holidays coming up, how do you deal with the.

[B]

Uncomfortable. Tell them to go to school and then talk to me about their right. Financial.

[A]

Responsibilities. Like, you don't know about our finances. It's none of your business. The answer is no. Like, it's just. Just. I can't imagine why they would bring that up. Why didn't you give us money? Yeah, fudge off. Next question. When I started dating my husband, the first time I spent Christmas with his family, I learned that every year before opening presents, his parents read aloud their family will. Yes, this is absolutely unhinged. And I'm not sure why I didn't Run. There were so many rules and stipulations you had to follow in order to get your piece of the will. A couple of years ago, my brother in law and his wife broke one of the rules and they stopped reading the will at Christmas. I have a great relationship with my brother in law and his wife, but sometimes I want to add fuel to the fire and ask why it doesn't get read anymore. Am I an asshole or just looking for a fun.

[B]

Time? I want to.

[A]

Know. I want to know too. I would 100% I would ask.

[B]

I would say why is the Vanderbilts like what is this.

[A]

Will? Valid question. Also just, just like a fun it. It's giving succession like just as a family reminder. These are the rules of the.

[B]

Will. Act.

[A]

Accordingly. I kind of, if we had multiple children, imagine we just read a will to Lucy every holiday. Hey Lucy, here's your.

[B]

Reminder. You better love me if they're going to read the will be like, well what's in the will first.

[A]

Off? Yeah, like does your husband come.

[B]

From Are you going to peak my a lot of money or are you just going to read something out to me with, with no actual like information on.

[A]

It? Yeah, like are they reading you a will and the mortgage is even paid off? Like what's happening here? I want to know what's going on, what the rules are and then I also want to know what your in laws did to get out of the.

[B]

Will. Not in laws brother. Oh yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Her in laws. Yeah, you're not an asshole. Get the tea. Get the, get the tea and keep us posted. Next question, another am I the asshole? Question. Am I the asshole? For context, a tradition my husband's family has had for holidays is that every single minute is expected to be spent with the in laws. For example, they expect us to wake up together, eat breakfast together, clean together, eat lunch together, et cetera. Am I the asshole for going out of my way to book a hotel this upcoming Christmas trip to see.

[B]

Them?

[A]

Smart. We live out of state and they have never been close to me, which is probably why I don't want to spend 96 hours straight with them. When we told them we booked a hotel, my mother in law expressed to my sister in law how upset she was and she hasn't spoken to us in weeks. Now I don't even want to spend the money to go see them at all if they can't respect these.

[B]

Boundaries. I thoughts I think that's such a smart idea. I. I would definitely, I would do that. Like wake up together, eat Together, clean.

[A]

Together. And if it's something that you enjoy doing or if it's maybe really.

[B]

Important to your husband, I guess, what's three days or.

[A]

Whatever? Yeah, like, because it's not like you actually have to be in the kitchen helping out. They'll judge you if you're not there helping out. But like, you can like build in that quality time away from them or, you know.

[B]

Some. Also booking a hotel, like, that's obviously going to be a dig. They're going to notice. Like, are you prepared for that? Do you want to deal with.

[A]

That? Are you the asshole? No. Like you're. Again, I don't think that you should be forced to stay at anyone's.

[B]

House. Boundaries are boundaries. But. And again, you're an.

[A]

Adult. I think depending on your relationship with certain people, a hotel is great. Like the amount of times that we've just booked a hotel just so that we have our own peace, I. I don't know. I feel like that's.

[B]

Fine. You know.

[A]

What? Let them get.

[B]

Offended. But at the same time, you'd be like, I'm still coming to visit you, by the way. I'm taking time out to come see you, like Mimi halfway.

[A]

Here. And who's to say that you are not going through something personal like a illness.

[B]

Or. Oh, they don't, they won't give.

[A]

A. You know what I mean? That like, you don't want to like be in their house for. I don't know, who cares? Like, just let people assume things and it's fine. You're still going over and spending time with them. Next question. How old is too old to believe in Santa? My husband and I have a 12 year old son. He's almost 13 and this is the second year he's brought up whether Santa is real or fake. My husband's family has a tradition that if you always believe, you always get Santa gifts. So they never give a clear answer. Personally, I think it's important to tell him the truth while keeping the spirit alive. I've told my husband I think it's time to tell him, especially because I don't want him to be made fun of at school. School. My husband wants to keep it going as long as possible and thinks he'll eventually just know. I'm torn. What do you think and how do you plan to handle Santa with Lucy as she gets older? Were you ever told the truth or did you figure it out from.

[B]

Friends? He's not gonna eventually know. He's gonna eventually get beaten.

[A]

Up. Is that what happened to.

[B]

You?

[A]

No. How did you find.

[B]

Out? I don't.

[A]

Remember. It wasn't the guy with the double popped collar who beat you up for believing in Santa, Little rat. You were just on the recess playground being like, santa is.

[B]

Real. We were.

[A]

Young. You, Hollister. And he's like, you and your holster cologne. No Johnny mustache. Yeah, that.

[B]

Sucks. I'm sorry that guy was such a too. Because I remember confronting him, and you were like. Then like, his cronies all, like, stepped in front. I was like, oh, what are.

[A]

You gonna tell me next? Rudolph isn't real either?

[B]

No. I'm having flashbacks in high school.

[A]

Now. Okay, have a flashback to when you first found out Santa wasn't.

[B]

Real. I don't.

[A]

Remember. John, come.

[B]

On. I don't.

[A]

Remember. Do you just, like, did you have a traumatic childhood? Because I feel like you blocked a lot of it. Every time I ask you something.

[B]

You'Re like, I don't remember. I lived in Connecticut till I was, like, 8. And I really don't remember much of Connecticut except for my last day of school when I almost killed a kid. John, did I ever tell you that.

[A]

Story? Yeah, you have.

[B]

Just. I'll tell you guys the.

[A]

Story. Just like how I told the story of how I found out the tooth fairy wasn't.

[B]

Real. Fine. I guess you guys don't get to hear the.

[A]

Story. Yeah, exactly. If you're gonna cut off my stories, I get to cut off your.

[B]

Story. It's a good.

[A]

Story. But I do want to hear how you found out Santa wasn't.

[B]

Real. I don't.

[A]

Know. I don't believe.

[B]

You.

[A]

Honestly. This is just like when you said you don't.

[B]

Believe. You know what? You don't remember, Jen. Ask my sister. Maybe.

[A]

She. I will, actually. Does Jen also remember the story of how you lost your virginity? Because you claim you don't.

[B]

Remember. Jesus.

[A]

Christ. I don't remember. What else don't you remember, John? Our vows. I find this a little.

[B]

Suspicious. You don't remember your vows first.

[A]

Off. Oh, no. Like, I do.

[B]

Remember. They're written down in that little.

[A]

Box. Kiss me every day and tell me I'm pretty. I. I.

[B]

Remember. I remember that famous line that I put in my vows. I can't remember. It was. I remember saying something like, I love you more than you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. So romantic. Great.

[B]

Job. So I guess I should follow up. How did you. Wait, let me do. How did you forget about.

[A]

Santa? Forget about Santa? I never forgot about Santa. He's always in my thoughts. But the way that I Found out he wasn't real. I always questioned, you know, John, I was always a questioner. Just. Just like you. My mom and dad were like, yeah. This man, he comes into our house and I'm like, bullfucking shit. So I really never believed. But I remember being about like five or six and my mom pulling me to the side, and I was like, listen, like, there's no way that this is true. And she goes, if you've ruined this for your brother and sister, I will end you. And so I kept it a secret. I'm like, oh, yes, Santa as a five year old, if my brother and sister are going along with it. But I remember ruining it for my sister when she was 12 because I was like, you're too old. She's 12 or 11, something like that. So, yeah, I ruined it for my sister. And she claims that's why I ruined her.

[B]

Life. So I think I finally realized how. What job you'd be really, really good at? What a like, Girl Scout leader? Because. Because. Do Girl Scouts do, like, camp camps? Like.

[A]

Campfires? But I don't like.

[B]

Camping. Hear me. Hear me.

[A]

Out. Can I do a.

[B]

Glamping? Sure. Campfire night. Setting the scene. Alex gathers her little troops all around the fire to tell stories. Because you love details. And you'd be so good at telling, like, spooky stories or whatever, because one story could last, like 30.

[A]

Minutes. Is this a backhanded.

[B]

Compliment? Take it how you.

[A]

Will. I feel like I wrapped up the story on how I don't believe in Santa pretty.

[B]

Quickly. But you'd be good at.

[A]

It. I never believed from the.

[B]

Beginning. You never.

[A]

Believed. That's why I'm a storyteller via film with Kobe director. Yeah. No, from the beginning, I never. I always questioned it because I was like, all right, let me, like, maybe. Maybe I'll go along with this. But once, like, I understood facts, I was like, there's no fucking way. There is actually no way that this man who we never see, there's no fucking way. And my mom was literally like, alexandra, do not ruin this for your siblings. And so I kept the secret. I never believed in anything, though.

[B]

I'll have to ask my family about it, because I don't. I don't remember not thinking Easter Bunny was real Santa or Tooth.

[A]

Fairy. But I hope, I think the holiday magic, though, like, personally, I think as long as he believes, like, let it go. But if he's already questioning it, I would say. I would. I would bring it.

[B]

Up. He's a boy. He's 12. He's about to go in middle school. Wait, are you middle.

[A]

School? I think yeah, you.

[B]

Are. Middle school is a rough time. Hormones. You're like, when I was a teacher's aide. Middle school, those kids were rough. You got to prepare him. You don't want to. You don't want him to get bullied. I'm telling you, whether everyone's like, no, keep the fucking cheer. I'm like, no, keep his mental.

[A]

Health. Right? Yeah, you got to protect.

[B]

Him. But that's asking for his kid to get beat.

[A]

Up. It's also, like, then if we're, like, going to the beginning, why are we even, like, starting this lie to begin with? You.

[B]

Know? I get it. Imagination, I.

[A]

Get. Yeah. Like, there's.

[B]

Imagine. You don't want to kill kids. Imagination. The moment more you're taken away from them, the quicker it goes. Like, imagination builds.

[A]

Creativity. So maybe you didn't. Maybe you didn't have, like.

[B]

Any. My mom was in the trenches of healthcare. I'm pretty sure we were pretty black and white. I don't remember how long it.

[A]

Was. There's no Santa. I'm gonna have to call your.

[B]

Perspective. My mom would tell us, day before I gave birth, I was slamming bodies into the.

[A]

Morgue. You need to, like, elaborate and give more details on that sentence, because what. You made it sound like when we. Before we gave birth, we were slamming bodies in the. Just. Just give more.

[B]

Detail. When my mom was, like, nine months pregnant with my sister or me, she would always the. The body. Deceased patients because she was a nurse, she'd be the one taking them down into the morgue and putting them into the metal.

[A]

Sleds. There you.

[B]

Go. I feel like to put in perspective of, like, where my mom's creative levels that she's like, we're all about practicality in this.

[A]

Family. I'm glad that you explained that, because the first sentence was a little alarming. But I think that your mom did actually create. Like, your mom is a creative person, and I feel like she 100 gave you guys Christmas magic. But I feel like this is something else that I want to add to the call. When we asked Jen if she got your mom Kenny G tickets or if you.

[B]

Did. I do want to say I need a break. I have some sort of memory. Or at least Jen likes to tell me this all the time. Of her, like, tying these two kids shoelaces together on the bus because they may have told me Santa wasn't real, and it hurt my feelings. Maybe it was that, or they were just Bullying me. I honestly don't remember. My sister also likes to tell me every single time I see her that she saved me from getting.

[A]

Kidnapped. She.

[B]

Did. I know. She's just like, I get it, I get it. You know how some people just, like, hold on to.

[A]

Stuff? She's like, you owe me. You're.

[B]

Here. You wouldn't be doing this podcast right now if it wasn't for.

[A]

Me. She's not wrong. Where would John be if he got.

[B]

Kidnapped? I don't want to be rough. Probably not here on this.

[A]

Planet. Oh, my.

[B]

God. Next question. I would Christmas.

[A]

Cheer. Let's turn this around into Fantastic Four. Sue, if someone tried to kidnap Lucy, I think that's what made me emotional about it. It was like, you will go to the ends of the earth. See? And Jen loves you. That's why she saved you. You do owe.

[B]

Her. Love, love, love, love.

[A]

Love. Next question. My boyfriend and I are really butting heads over our beliefs about Christmas. And it always surprises me how worked up I get when talking about it. It's not in a religious way. It's about typical holiday traditions and the lore of Santa. Today we were talking about a friend's Christmas party, and he's refusing to wear an ugly sweater or a Santa hat, which then led to him saying, as he often does, I'm not lying to my kid about Santa. That really frustrates me because I want to give our future children similar experiences to what I had growing up, like leaving food out for reindeer or cookies for Santa. He makes a lot of really good points about our conditioning around Christmas and how it is designed to sell and buy more shit. And while he's not even against gift exchanging, he says he intends to be really direct with our kids. When asked what Christmas is about or who Santa is, I get that this holiday in particular is grossly overshadowed by overconsumption, which isn't the best interest of families or the planet, but come on. I don't want my kids to miss out on the magic or whimsical, imaginative nature of Christmas. And what if being real with them ruins it for other kids? Maybe his mind will change when he actually is a father. But I'm really curious to hear what your take on this is, especially since you're having your first experiences with Lucy. And since Alex sometimes calls John out on his scrooge like.

[B]

Behavior. Isn't it funny how heated hypotheticals get? Yeah, you don't even have kids yet. And like, this whole. Because you don't know. And if you're gonna Change or not once you have a kid. Like, I. Everything changes. It really does.

[A]

That. But also, like, these aren't the type of like, hypotheticals that like, you need to get heated over. Like, that's the. Because you have to. You have to have hypothetical conversations when you're dating someone. Like, about.

[B]

Kids. You want to have kids. That's the.

[A]

Hypothetical. Not like, not like, not the little. Like, don't argue about this.

[B]

Stuff. Like, exactly the. The four main or five main.

[A]

Topics. Money. Like the.

[B]

Things. If you're going to branch off the other things. You won't. You.

[A]

Won'T. Like, don't argue about this shit. But because again, to your point, the conversation is, do you want kids? And then when you do have kids, like, things are going to change. Because we had said before having Lucy or before having kids in general, we were like, oh, yeah, we're never traveling with a kid until like they're five. And then here we are. We just.

[B]

Got. I'm still fighting. I really. I really. I'm like, good. But traveling with her, it doesn't matter. It's so stressful. Especially in a work. We're doing like a work thing. I'm like, okay, so we're.

[A]

All. I was going to leave.

[B]

Her. I get that. But let's just not do any travel.

[A]

Stuff. Let's just answer this.

[B]

Question. So that's where Alex and I are.

[A]

At. Yeah, I think that you don't have to. This isn't even. Whatever. You guys are going to talk about it.

[B]

Anyway. Too soon, though. Like, just brush it off, let him about it.

[A]

Whatever. Yeah, I think that there's a lot of things in relationships that you just have to be like, okay, well, let's cross that bridge when we get.

[B]

There. And that's ugly sweater thing, though. It's your friend's party. Like, just put the sweater on.

[A]

Dude. Or don't let him be him. And then other, like, he will be perceived for who he is. Like.

[B]

Don'T. Yeah, but that's gonna embarrass her. Or just go by yourself. Just say he's.

[A]

Sick. Yeah, I guess I just struggle with life for him. That's. And that's what I struggle with. It's like, don't try to put on this Persona so that other people true. See him in a way. Let him be who he is. That's not on.

[B]

You. That's a hard pill to swallow as the partner, though. Like, that would make me uncomfortable. Like, if you show up with me and you're not following the rules, I'm a rule follower.

[A]

Alex. But you're then choosing to be with me, and if anything, it makes you. You look stupid. So then break up with me. You know what I mean? Like, if you don't already like what your partner is doing and, like, you can't find compromise, then, like, maybe you're not meant to be.

[B]

Together. I don't know. I feel like that's such a puss.

[A]

Move. I.

[B]

Just. You're not wearing the Christmas sweater that I want you to wear this party while we're no longer together. Good.

[A]

Luck. But that's just. That's just like the tip of the iceberg. Like, there's a lot.

[B]

There's. No, it's not. I bet you so many people.

[A]

How crazy your hair is right now. Like, how is it doing that? It is shooting out underneath your hat. It's kind of like a cartoon character.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I don't. I don't care. People have. People have broken up with other people. For last, it's not saying, like, people break up over stupid shit, but it's.

[A]

Just. It's deeper than that. Because it kind of goes to like that movie the Breakup. Is that what it's called with Jennifer Aniston and. And Vince Vaugh where they get in a fight over the lemons? It's like. She's like, just get me 12 lemons like you asked. And he's like, it doesn't matter if I got four if I got to. She's like, it's those little things because it's the carelessness and it's the value system that you guys don't then align on. And so I'm saying, like, if he doesn't, like, wear a Christmas sweater to something that you does, everyone else.

[B]

Think this sounds dumb as I think it's just.

[A]

Deep. It's deeper than that. And so maybe. And maybe it is just this one off, stupid little thing. And you're just like, we argue about Christmas things. We're like, is that. Is that really it? Or just. Do you guys not maybe align in other.

[B]

Ways? And you're thinking in hypotheticals right now we're going off of just.

[A]

This. I like to go deep, John. You.

[B]

Know. Okay, next.

[A]

Question. My job has four employee meetings every year. Next week we have our Christmas meeting. And because it is Christmas, they try to do team bonding activities. The issue with this is that I'm an introvert and I have really bad anxiety symptoms include having to shit really bad, sweating through my clothes, feeling nauseous and shaking. I have coworkers who feel the same way, so my feelings are valid to some. Recently, my work started little committees that get together to think of ideas to improve how we operate. My co worker had a meeting where they were brainstorming ideas for team bonding, specifically for this upcoming Christmas meeting, and had an idea that was brought up that made my heart sink. Someone suggested we have an activity where each employee goes into the front and describes themselves. Keep in mind, we have 80 employees. There were other ideas as well, all involving getting in front of a large crowd. Thank God I had a co worker speak up that said it was too much to ask, especially when people are uncomfortable. For context, I'm a 21 female and obviously I have stage fright. I did try helping my anxiety in high school and participated in many speech competitions, but it did not help. There's also an age gap between me and my coworkers about more than 15 years with only a couple of people my age and not in the same department. In my opinion, I. I think team bonding should be optional. I love my co workers, but with this age gap, I don't necessarily have a desire to be besties with them. My question is, is there a line that needs to be drawn when it comes to team bonding, or should I suck it up and get over my fear? What's your.

[B]

Opinion? No, I agree. I think it's. I mean, again, not everyone's joining the workforce to become friends and bond with their team. Like, we're there to make money, to survive. Like, I think to. To force people to do stuff like that is to make your company more efficient. But I, I guess if that's in the job description, like, read your job description. Because technically, if they're like, team building is not option whatever. Like, you do have to read what your job entails. So.

[A]

Legally. But, like, if your job doesn't require you to do public speaking, like, as someone who used to have such a fear of public speaking too, because again, like, I grew up, I could dance in front of 100,000 people. If you asked me to say my name, I would not be able to do it. Like, I similarly, like when I was in college and had to give speeches or like, do presentations, I got it. Rumble, sweating, Couldn't even say my name. Horrible. I think it's a muscle that you have to flex. So separately, outside of like the work environment, if it's a fear that you want to get over, you said that you've been working towards it. It could just take time. So, yeah, like if you want to work on your public speaking skills, it's a great skill to have separately. But like, no, I don't think that you need to be besties with your co workers either. Or need to be put in front of us. Need to be put in a situation like that where you're on the spot. Yeah.

[B]

Absolutely. If you're doing your job efficiently. Like, you shouldn't be forced to do other stuff like that. I just, again, I think corporate culture is toxic, as I don't think.

[A]

Always, but I think it can be. You're just giving a very big blanket statement. I don't think it can. It's always.

[B]

Toxic. It all comes down to your company doesn't give a about you. If you die today, they'll find someone to replace you immediately. You're putting your blood, sweat and tears into something that you don't own. Maybe, maybe unless you have equity in the company. I don't know. I just. It comes down to that for me, where I'm like, I don't give a. I'm just, this is a job. What. What state. If they don't because they don't care about.

[A]

You. I just think that that's a very heavy blanket statement to make. Like, if our editor Sean died, I would care, but I guess we're not.

[B]

Corporate. What is like considered company needs to make.

[A]

Money? Are you talking like a Fortune 500 company? Like someone who's like working at a desk, like going into the office and you're thinking of just like cold buildings with.

[B]

Cube. I just said that. I'm like, unless you have some sort of stake in the company. Like some companies give you equity or some give you stock options, whatever. Like, I get that. Or you're invested. But if you're just a grunt employee in something like, that's such like, I wouldn't want you to waste your, your mental energy on trying to do something for this company where they don't give a shit about you and will replace you tomorrow. That's kind of what I'm talking.

[A]

About. Yeah, I.

[B]

Understand. Like, if you're part of a startup or small like us. Yeah, I get it. Like, we also, we have. There's. There's only like.

[A]

Three. Like, if this job is stressing you out outside of your comfort zone, in a description outside of your job description, then yes, like, it's not worth it. But someone spoke up on your behalf. But yeah, I think that you don't have to suck it up. I think your job is doing the most less is more. Next question My husband and I have been trying to set boundaries with family and coming up on the holidays has made it especially hard. My husband and I have a one year old daughter who is essentially having her first interactive Christmas as she was still a newborn for her very first. We live about 20 minutes from my husband's parents and about five hours from mine, so we've always chosen either Thanksgiving or Christmas to stay home or travel to spend time with one side. This year my husband and I traveled the five hours to spend Thanksgiving weekend with my family. Our thought process was that we wanted to spend Christmas in our own home with our own tree and start family traditions with our daughter. This year we were excited to have a slow morning opening gifts and we're only planning to spend a few hours with his family for dinner before heading back home to watch movies. We also have that sounds like such a lovely such a lovely day. We have been extra busy with work, travel and life in general, so we were really looking forward to some time to reconnect as just us. Over Thanksgiving weekend, my mom dropped on me that she is planning to fly out and stay with us over Christmas for a total of six.

[B]

Days.

[A]

No. Not only does this put a wrench in our plans with our little family, but six days is also just way too long. My husband and I both have to work most of the week and need to maintain our normal routines. On top of that, my mom is a terrible house guest. She makes demands for specific meals, needs to constantly be entertained or taken on outings, and hardly pays for anything which ends up costing my husband and me a few hundred dollars whenever she visits. She is also not much help with our daughter, which you would expect from a grandmother who only sees her granddaughter every other month. I love her and appreciate that she wants to visit us often, but for the reasons above, I would rather her not come during the Christmas week. With all of this, I told my mom I wasn't sure that that would work for us and was honest about wanting to start our own family traditions. I offered for her to come the weekend after Christmas, literally any day after, and spend the three days with us or even wait until New Year's weekend when my sister might also be able to come. We could still open gifts, have a nice dinner. Then she became emotional and tried to guilt me asking what is she supposed to do on Christmas day if she doesn't visit us? Mind you, she lives with her parents five minutes from both of my siblings and her sister's family so she wouldn't be alone on Christmas if she didn't want to be, it wasn't a hard no on her coming to see us by any means, just not for as long and not on actual Christmas Day. I'm struggling to decide if and how to stay firm on my boundaries or if I should just bite the bullet because it's Christmas and let her.

[B]

Come. You want to be miserable? Let her come for six whole fucking days. Three is the magic number. And that's compromising. I would break it down, Be like, okay, so you. You're refusing you to come the weekend after. Be like, okay, you could if you want to. If you really want to. Be like, you could come for three days during Christmas. She doesn't bite that. Be like, I've tried compromising twice now. Like, then don't come. Don't.

[A]

Come. I also, I'm glad that you gave all the context that you did, because it's not like your mom would be alone on Christmas. Like, if your mom had literally nobody, you know, and still wanted to come. See, six days is a lot.

[B]

Whatever. But, like, no, I would die on that. I'll be like, yeah, you can come. You're not staying for six days. I mean, I tell my parents.

[A]

Some people, like, do, like, stay for weeks. Like, let's just say, I mean, you have no problem telling your family. But if someone wanted to, my.

[B]

Parents, my family also gets it. Like my dad, I'm like, are you tired? He's. Poor guy was on the couch for three days. Like, what? Not like watching tv, they have their own bedroom. But, like, because we're busy, we're working, we don't get time off. And he's like, I'm.

[A]

Ready. I'm like, I'm sure that's what you need to do with your mom is show her a bad time. Maybe when she comes to visit, you don't accommodate. Yeah. Like, don't take her out on outings. Don't, like, continue your routine, continue your schedule. It's your mom. She would.

[B]

Understand. Oh, you wanted what for dinner? Yeah, I got.

[A]

Cheated. Sorry. Yeah. Like, I don't. You're coming into my life, my schedule. Cuz I feel like not. Not that we intentionally don't, like, quote, unquote, host your.

[B]

Parents. We always do normally, but since Lucy's been in the.

[A]

Picture. Exactly. I was going to say I felt like the worst host when your parents were here. And I know that they're not expecting us to.

[B]

Host. It was great. My mom. I.

[A]

Mean, your parents are.

[B]

Helpful.

[A]

Yeah. And to your point, like, your parents are Also busy. So they only stay for a few days when they are in town. But I think like, the solution to this is to show your mom a bad time. Like, don't go out of your way to show her a bad time, but just make it. Don't change up your routine. She's coming into your life. You don't have to plan these outings. You don't have to go out to dinner. What you get, what you see is what you get, you know, and you have a newborn or you have a one year old, like, you're busy as well. But because it's coming up on this year, you know, I think you've given her.

[B]

Options. I would still hold your ground. Six days is way too long. Way too.

[A]

Long. I think you would end up regretting having her. Especially that, like, you already know how you want your Christmas to.

[B]

Go.

[A]

Yeah. You know, like, and you deserve that. Like your immediate family. I mean, I think of that with us too. Where I'm just like, I'm excited to have a slow morning with just Lulu and then we can like bounce around to see family later if we.

[B]

Want.

[A]

Right. Stay firm. Do you want to hear a secret? Okay. My best friend is having an affair. We've been friends for 13 years and she got married less than a year ago and had her first child less than six months ago. This is her second marriage and she is currently having affair with her ex husband. I don't know if I should do or say anything. My husband is disgusted and doesn't want me to associate with her anymore, which I understand. But she has been my best friend for so long. Send.

[B]

Help. I get where the husband's coming from. I'm like, yo, what.

[A]

The. Right? Because if like roles were six.

[B]

Months. My thing is, have you.

[A]

Recovered? How do you have time? It's not even about being.

[B]

Time. She had a kid six months.

[A]

Ago. Right? That's. What. How do.

[B]

You. Recommendations. I have a.

[A]

Recommendation. It's more just like, how do you have time? I'm so.

[B]

Tired. Traveling. I got to say this. We got a. We have a Duna. We use the Duna for traveling to Vegas. And that thing definitely saved our lives, I'll tell you that. Because you don't need to use the base. You don't need a. Which I actually don't know. Do other car seats. You need a base or not? Or like a. Anyways, the Duna is like a fucking transformer. It's a stroller. It's a car seat. And it's just like, I get to use it with. With one less piece that you normally need for a stroller. And that saved us in the airport, I'll tell you that. Especially the fucking escalators at jfk. Oh, jfk.

[A]

Jfk. Oh, we didn't even talk about.

[B]

That. Guys, get your shit together. I know this is a long thing, but like our flight was at 8am My dad was on the way home, so he drops himself at the airport at 4am Gridlock. And then always this is the second time this happened to us where they close the departures ramp for the terminal, so we had to go to arrivals. Now you go through the arrivals. That's normally where like the Ubers pick you up. Can't get picked up there. So then you get dropped off, cutting across, taking two things of escalators to our terminal, which thanks to the. Luckily the dune. I got to carry her. Am I. That's another question. Are we allowed to. Yeah, well, you got mad at me for bringing the stroller up the.

[A]

Escalator. Well, the stroller, you can't. You have to turn it into a car seat. You could carry a car seat up. You can't carry. You can't have it in stroller.

[B]

Mode. Don't tell me what to do. You.

[A]

Know. Okay, well then when like Lucy tumbles down the thing, that's probably for.

[B]

Safety. She wasn't. She was. I had her in the car.

[A]

Seat. No, I wasn't. I was holding her when you had.

[B]

It.

[A]

Whatever. I'm just saying for safety purposes. It's why they don't want you like bringing strollers up is. Cuz like if kids are in there, they're going.

[B]

To. How if the kid's not in there, I still can't bring the stroller.

[A]

Up. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what the laws are, the rules against.

[B]

That. We also were debating changing her on the, on the, on the plane. I was like, just change her on the.

[A]

Thing. Oh yeah, the seats. And I was like, I'm pretty sure, like you should probably change them in the bathroom just for like sanitary purposes.

[B]

Right? Like they should give you like a sheet when you're a kid. Unlike when you're a kid when you have like a baby.

[A]

Protocols. Why? Oh, like a sheet. I thought you meant like a bed.

[B]

Sheet. No, no, I think a woman got arrested or something on the plane for changing her baby on the, the lap tray.

[A]

Thing. But that's my point. Like you said to do that and I was like, I'm just gonna Go into the.

[B]

Bathroom. I wasn't, as a sign, sure.

[A]

She got arrested or not arrested. No. My thing was when we landed in J. Like, when we landed last night at one in the morning, we landed in the terminal that you can usually get picked up from your Uber right outside, but because there's construction, you have to take a shuttle. And. And in these moments, we're always like, what is. We don't care how much money it is. What is the most efficient way to just get home right now? And so we chose efficiency over safety, which I think is a no.

[B]

No for sure for a future as.

[A]

A parent, because there's people walking around outside, and they're like, uber taxi, whatever. And we're just like. This guy comes up and we're like, how much to take us to our address? And he goes, whatever, Uber's charging. And we just blindly followed this man to his black Suburban, and we're.

[B]

Like, was he trying to charge on, like, Uber black.

[A]

Black? And I was like, no, we were just.

[B]

Gonna. Alex was negotiating while we got Lucy in the car seat next to us. She's negotiating with the guy. He's like, I want two something. I was like, no, this is.

[A]

Like, no, this is what the rate is. And then I felt bad. So at the end, I ended up paying him what he asked for anyways, because I was like, happy.

[B]

Holiday. Just so everyone knows, the Uber black or whatever, he had no.

[A]

Bumper. No. His car was falling apart. It was in pieces, but whatever. I was like, just get us home. So we were following this guy to his car, and I was like, is this. This is probably not a great idea. But then when we get into his car, I'm also like, this car isn't really that clean. It's what I Like, we're already committing. But then I was like, okay, I need to look for context clues here to, like, are we safe? And I see, like, a Mickey Mouse backpack in the front seat. And I'm like, okay, he has kids. But now talking about that. Or, like, it could have been from kidnapping a child. Who.

[B]

Knows? He was a big dude also. Yeah, I'm gonna get.

[A]

Destroyed. I was like, john, are we gonna get beat up here? I know, but I was like, imagine he did that. Like, while we have a baby, he could. I guess there's evil people out.

[B]

There. There.

[A]

Are. We.

[B]

Survived. Anyway, it's getting dark. This is about Christmas next.

[A]

Time. I know. Happy Holidays. We can't. We should not shoot. We have to think with our parent brains and not our efficiency brains. Because Like, I was like, that wasn't a safe.

[B]

Choice. Maybe could have taken.

[A]

Them. I don't know. I was wondering that too. But, like, one of us would want to protect.

[B]

Lucy.

[A]

Yeah. And then I was like, if he had a Pew, pew. We're.

[B]

Fucked. Yeah. Okay. What's your.

[A]

Wreck? That did get a little dark. Yeah, my wreck also baby, baby gear. And listen, if you could find a dupe, put it in the comments. We were gifted this. It's very expensive, but I'm going to say 100% worth it. An already pop carrier. I wear this thing not just every day because, like, Lucy loves to nap, carrying, but it is the most comfortable carrier. I walk around the airport for hours with her in this.

[B]

Thing. We did give the disclaimer. It is very.

[A]

Expensive. It's an expensive carrier. And again, if you know of a dupe, like, put it in the comments. But, like, I. I would buy it again, like, I would. Well, I would buy it for the first time because it was. Someone gifted it to.

[B]

Us. I just feel like there's so many out there that they look like hiking backpacks with 9,000 clips. I'm like, your baby's screaming. I don't have time to try to hook all this together. The thing you're talking about right now, it's like two hooks. That's.

[A]

It. Yeah. The arty pop carrier, it's just. It's comfortable. And again, there might be other versions out there that are, like, really great as well. But I. Out of all the carriers that we have tried, which has been a lot, this has just been my favorite.

[B]

One. And so the carrier is.

[A]

Great. It saved.

[B]

Us. I don't know if it would matter which carrier I use, but, like, it does kind of hurt my back a little.

[A]

Bit. Well, you have back.

[B]

Problems. Maybe any carrier would probably hurt my.

[A]

Back.

[B]

Yeah. But anyways, yeah, I wear.

[A]

It. I use it every single.

[B]

Day.

[A]

Yeah. But in the airport, it was.

[B]

Great. Cool. All right, guys, that's it. You guys enjoy your holiday. Is this after holidays or.

[A]

Before? It's right before. It's a few days before.

[B]

Christmas. Well, you guys enjoy the day after Hanukkah, Christmas, your holidays, whatever you celebrate. Enjoy with your loved ones, friends, or don't be alone. That's cool, too. Like, subscribe, email, comment, do all the.

[A]

Things. And if you want to follow us, you could find us everywhere. Give it to me straight podcast. If you want to send us an anonymous question, you could do so in our show notes or on our website. And if you want to email us. You could reach us at hello. Give it to me straight, podcast dot com. And we will see you guys. Is it next year? Wait, hold on. Let me look. No, we won't see.

[B]

You. We'll see you next.

[A]

Week. We'll see you next week. Bye. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this.