Lauren Graham’s Memoir Talking As Fast As I Can

Summary

Glamorous Trash: A Celebrity Memoir Podcast

Lauren Graham’s Memoir "Talking As Fast As I Can"

Host: Chelsea Devantez
Guest: Joe Feldman
Date: December 2, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Chelsea Devantez and regular guest/friend Joe Feldman dive into Lauren Graham's 2016 memoir "Talking As Fast As I Can: From Gilmore Girls to Gilmore Girls (and Everything in Between)". The discussion book-clubs the memoir through Glamorous Trash’s irreverent and pop culture-savvy lens, examining Graham’s approach to her own celebrity, behind-the-scenes stories, Gen X diet culture, vulnerable (or not-so-vulnerable) memoir writing, and the legacy of “Gilmore Girls”. The conversation is punctuated by plenty of humor and honest personal anecdotes from both Chelsea and Joe.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Initial Impressions & Tone of the Memoir

• Quick, Light Read: Both hosts agree the memoir is easy to breeze through, especially coming off of denser novels (e.g., Zadie Smith’s "The Fraud").
  • Joe Feldman (06:31): “It was gone in a second. It was butter in a pan.”
• Jokey, Rapid-Fire Style: The book and Graham's voice emulate the cadence of Lorelai Gilmore—fast, jokey, but sometimes superficial or lacking structure.
  • Chelsea (30:55): “It’s the title of the book. Talking as fast as I can. Lots of words, little phrases. She’s not hitting hard jokes, but she’s like, coffee.”
• Disjointed Structure: The hosts frequently note the lack of narrative structure or depth.
  • Chelsea (22:09): “Another way to say that [the memoir has] no structure is just no thought. You can tell she didn’t begin a story knowing where it was going, what she wanted to say, or even what the story was going to be about.”

2. Lauren’s Background & Entry Into Acting

• Childhood is Glazed Over: Quickly summarized and lacking emotional depth.
  • Chelsea (07:47): “...her mom dips out on page nine.”
• NYU Tisch → Barnard: Lauren’s educational journey is explored, with a funny, honest critique of arts programs and the entertainment industry’s “scam” of higher ed.
  • Chelsea (10:19): “They just scooped up all the kids who want to be in entertainment...so if you see three of them as stars later on, it’s, you know...three out of 900.”
  • Theme: The struggle of chasing an artistic dream through traditional institutions, and how much of success seems based on luck, not education.

3. Memoir Vulnerability (or the Lack Thereof)

• Graham's Reluctance to Get Personal: The hosts repeatedly point out how private Graham is, often glossing over anything deeply emotional or revealing.
  • Chelsea (75:02): “Her mom gone. ... Where is her mom?”
• Skipping Over Success: Graham’s journey from struggling actress to TV star is depicted with almost comical brevity.
  • Chelsea (38:07): “She was already the star of another show…She just skips, and she’s like, now we’re dating. At the time of writing the book, they’ve still been together [with Peter Krause]. And they were together for 12 years.”

4. Diet Culture & Body Image

• Uncomfortable Diet Section: The memoir’s biggest cringe comes as Graham launches into pages of “Hollywood slimdown secrets,” veering between attempted satire and genuine, dated advice.
  • Chelsea (25:27): “Do you think she was doing a joke? Because that’s real.”
  • Joe (25:27): “No, I think that was a real how I get red carpet ready disordered eating thing.”
• Gen X Perspective: The hosts contextualize Graham’s Gen X approach to diet/appearance and discuss cultural progress (or lack thereof).
  • Joe (27:25): “I forgive it because...the idea of body neutrality or body positivity or anti diet was not even like a thing people thought about until 10 years ago.”

5. Gilmore Girls: Behind the Scenes & Legacy

• Warm, But Sanitized Recollections: Graham speaks kindly of everyone—perhaps “whitewashy,” as Joe notes, eschewing gossip or conflict. Notably, she remains positive about Scott Patterson (Luke), despite rumors of tension.
  • Joe (43:13): “She speaks kindly about every single person she did the show with. And I think we know that’s not true...”
• Key Anecdotes:
  • Arm-In-Arm Walking (44:09): Graham helped Alexis Bledel hit her marks during walk-and-talks, which created their signature on-screen walk.
  • Show’s Abrupt Cancellation (44:53): Graham learned from her agent via a restaurant phone call that the show was canceled—leaving the whole cast blindsided.
• How TV Has Changed: The slow, character-based storytelling of "Gilmore Girls" would struggle to get made today.
  • Chelsea (42:19): “Have you ever wondered why Gilmore Girls is so popular and no one can get a new Gilmore Girls on air? ...you’re noting it away from Gilmore Girls, which is character based.”
• Revival Weirdness: The reboot set felt “uncanny valley”—recreated sets that were “a couple inches off”, and psychic moments honoring late cast members.
  • Joe (68:39): “I can’t imagine how crazy that must feel to spend 10 years somewhere and then go back and have it be a little bit different.”

6. Memoiristic (Non) Revelations

• On Relationships: Graham is private, giving almost nothing about her romances—e.g., Peter Krause and supposed "almost" romance with Matthew Perry.
  • Chelsea (51:09): “Irrelevant. In his book. Book. And so, yeah, so she talks about him...But, having read the other women's accounts of Matthew Perry, you, you were fucking, you were loving, you were friendly. Yeah. Give us a detail, throw us a scrap.”
  • Joe (51:36): “It’s like, as you said, she’s a private person. Why write a memoir?”

7. Writing & Productivity Advice

• Kitchen Timer “Pomodoro” Method: The best practical tip in the memoir, though attributed entirely to a friend, not Graham herself.
  • Chelsea (60:14): “Summarize the advice for everyone listening.”
  • Joe (60:16): “The advice is basically to give yourself one hour...phone on airplane mode…just to write. And you only have two things open: the thing you’re working on and your journal...I do like timed writing bursts…”
• Critique of Advice: Good for productivity in general, but a far cry from substantive writing advice; lacks real insight into craft or revision.

8. Comic Relief & Memorable Tangents

• Phone Basket Idea (63:30): Place everyone’s phone in the center of the table at dinner—the first to grab theirs pays the bill.
  • Chelsea (64:11): “No, I think it’s a good idea. Let’s do it during Taco Bell nights. I also think this is a good writer’s room rule.”
• Ellen DeGeneres Oddness: Multiple name drops of Ellen as “super nice” are read with suspicion, leading to a wild speculation about secret Hollywood blackmail.
  • Joe (65:39): “What does Ellen have on Lauren Graham?”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Book’s Style:
  • Chelsea (22:09): “She starts every chapter, like blindfolded, driving a car. Like, where are we going?”
• On Celebrity Memoirs:
  • Chelsea (21:18): “If you are not ready to memoir, don’t memoir. Don’t do it.”
• On Gen X Diet Culture:
  • Joe (27:25): “It was too late [for body positivity]. They’d already had children by then and were already giving eating disorders to their kids.”
• On the Manifesting Power of Community:
  • Chelsea (79:49): “The giant cocaine pool in the sky has dried up…so you need to make sure the art you’re creating right now…has good community and good times.”

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Important Timestamps

• Quick Impressions & Book Style: 05:08–06:40
• Childhood & Family Details: 07:46–09:30
• Acting School & “Scam” of Arts Education: 09:54–13:26
• Career Breakthroughs / Skipping Over Success: 15:22–16:08; 38:07
• Diet Culture Bit (Body Image): 21:01–28:56
• “Gilmore Girls” Anecdotes & Show Cancellation: 43:13–45:29
• Writing Advice (Pomodoro): 59:24–61:54
• On Ellen, Dax Shepherd, and Hollywood Friendships: 65:00–67:38
• Reflections on Community & Modern TV: 77:48–79:49
• Book Test (Final Thoughts): 75:45–78:02

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Final Takeaways / Book Tool Test

Was the author vulnerable and the sharing of her truth?

Both: No. The book is fast, jokey, and superficial, with little actual personal or emotional depth.

Was it entertaining to read?

Joe: “As a devoted fan of Gilmore Girls... No. I was speeding through this book looking for anything about the show I love so dearly.”

Did reading this book elevate your life in any way?

Both: No. Any insights were either basic (productivity tips) or surface-level, and the nostalgia for “the good old days” of TV production was bittersweet—reminding both hosts how much has changed for the worse in entertainment.

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Additional Highlights

• Unanswered Questions: Why is Graham’s mother almost entirely absent from the memoir?
• Best Anecdote: Carole King did a private performance at the end of the “A Year in the Life” shoot, and Lauren Graham couldn’t stop crying during the revival.
• Meta-Tie-In: Joe Feldman was on the “Gilmore Guys” podcast, which is referenced by Graham in her book’s bonus chapter (81:18).

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Closing Thoughts

For fans, Lauren Graham’s memoir provides a breezy, surface-level look at her life and work, but leaves many personal, emotional, and professional mysteries unsolved. The discussion on Glamorous Trash is warm, witty, and honest, centering not just on the book’s contents but the broader context of female celebrity, TV writing, and our collective longing for character-rich (and less “noted”) storytelling.

Transcript

[Ad Host]

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[Chelsea Damanges]

This episode is brought to you by Carafim, an abortion and reproductive healthcare provider that offers both in person care in Atlanta, Chicago and the D.C. areas and telehealth options for abortion pills by mail in 20 states. They also have a text service that can talk to you about anything over text messages. When you talk to Kerafim, they're always nonjudgmental, supportive and compassionate. They also have sliding scale pricing. CareFM believes that cost should not be a barrier to accessing abortion care and so they take insurance and work with abortion funds. Kerafim's team of licensed medical professionals provides personalized abortion care options focused on your needs, preferences and values. Social so go to Cara femme.org to learn more and get anything you need. C-A-R-A F E M.org that's Cara femme.org. Welcome to Glamorous Trash. This is a podcast that book clubs, viral articles, celebrity memoirs and trashy discourse to elevate your life. I'm your host, Chelsea Damanges. I'm a TV writer, comedian, filmmaker, author and sometimes I'm in step two and today we are book clubbing. Talking a Fast as I Can From Gilmore Girls to Gilmore Girls and Everything in between. The memoir of Gilmore Girls star Lauren Graham, published 2016. The title of this memoir, Talking as Fast as I Can, can also describe me on this podcast, especially from 2020 and 2023 have really tried to slow down. Now, you know Lauren from Gilmore Girls, obviously. Also probably from the 2010s show Parenthood, or from films like Bad Santa, Evan Almighty. In addition to Lauren's essay collection, Lauren is also a novelist and published Someday, someday, maybe in 2013. We will get to her novel later, but first we got. We got a lot of juice. We squeezed the juice from a fruit that didn't want to be squeezed, but we got the juice for you. And here is a trigger warning for talk of body image and diet culture. Now let's dive into this memoir. I thought I'll just sit down and write whatever comes. No judgment, no inner critic. Boy, was that a bad idea.

[Joe Feldman]

Really? Why?

[Chelsea Damanges]

Because my brain is a wild junk full of scary gibberish. I'm writing a letter. I can't write a letter. Why can't I write a letter? I'm wearing a green dress. I wish I was wearing my blue dress. My blue dress is at the cleaners. The Germans wore gray.

[Ad Host]

You wore blue.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Casablanca. Casablanca's such a good movie. Casablanca, The White House, Bush. Why don't I drive a hybrid car? I should really drive a hybrid car. I should really take my bicycle to work. Bicycle. Unicycle. Unitard. Hockey puck. Rattlesnake. Monkey, monkey underpants. Hockey puck, Rattlesnake, monkey, monkey underpants. Exactly. My guest today is Joe Feldman. Joe, she's been on this podcast all the time. She's going to be on it even more. She was the guest host for Mormon Wives star Macy Neely's memoir, also for Kendra Wilkinson from Girls Next Door. She did her memoir on this podcast recently, and she was the guest when we covered Kelly Bishop's memoir, the Third Gilmore Girl. Joe is a writer, a writer's assistant and improviser, and her work can be seen in the forthcoming season of Shrinking on Apple tv. Joe, welcome back to the show. Given that you did the third Gilmore Girl book for Kelly Bishop, now we're doing Lauren Graham's book. Do you think Alexis Bledell will ever do a memoir and we can complete our generational collection?

[Joe Feldman]

I would love that, but I just don't think she will.

[Chelsea Damanges]

I don't think she will.

[Joe Feldman]

She's just not. That's not her vibe.

[Chelsea Damanges]

She's not yapping like that. She's like, yapper interviews, you know, So I can't see the memoir.

[Joe Feldman]

Nary an interview.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yeah. Yeah. Very, very odd. Okay, thank you for coming on to discuss this with me. I want to do more bestie episodes, and so I said Please, come on. All the time. You said yes, so we had to do Lauren Graham's book, which has been heavily requested for many years, and I've never done it until now.

[Joe Feldman]

I was shocked that you hadn't done it.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yeah, I. Why hadn't I done it? I don't know. I'm a, I'm a huge Gilmore Girls fan.

[Joe Feldman]

I know.

[Chelsea Damanges]

I was waiting for you.

[Joe Feldman]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Okay. Now I don't feel great because I didn't love the book.

[Joe Feldman]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Damanges]

How did you feel?

[Joe Feldman]

It's was a quick read, I'll tell you that much.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Wow.

[Joe Feldman]

I had just finished reading my first ever Zadie Smith novel, so I think I was.

[Chelsea Damanges]

You needed a little reprieve. I was flying.

[Joe Feldman]

I was like, where? No one makes me feel dumber than a Zadie Smith. I was like, this is easy.

[Chelsea Damanges]

What Zadie Smith did you read and did you like it?

[Joe Feldman]

I read the Fraud. I didn't love it, really.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Okay.

[Joe Feldman]

But I honestly think I didn't love it because I was, I was literally confused about who everyone was most of the time.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Oh, well, sure. Yeah.

[Joe Feldman]

Which is like, that'll do it. Just give me a diagram. I kept being like, which one's Ainsworth? Which, like, it was just. But also, no, I mean, I liked it because I didn't give up on it, which is, you know, I'm a completionist. But I've been trying really hard to give up on stuff if I'm not doing well. But I was like, jo, just read one Zadie Smith novel in your life.

[Chelsea Damanges]

And you did. And you did. I have to say, to follow up, Zadie Smith with this book is actually like the perfect dessert. This is like, you just ate, like a beautiful three course vegetarian salad meal. And they're like, and here you get an ice cream sundae for dessert.

[Joe Feldman]

It was gone in a second. It was butter in a pan. I, I. And I've since read another book since then. So I went back through my note, and this was three days ago. I was on vacation.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Okay, what's the other book you've read?

[Joe Feldman]

Oh, that was a pretty bad one, guys. It was called the Last Love Letter. It was a, it must have been like a, like a sexy beach read recommend because, like, you know, I just like, I'll stack up fiction in my Libby app and then they just come. And I don't remember who recommended it. Whoever did was wrong. I didn't even get full penetration by the end of it.

[Chelsea Damanges]

And emotionally or on the page?

[Joe Feldman]

No, on the page, I didn't get full penetration. For a Blue Ball novel about a love story that ends in. They literally are, like, married with children at the end. And you never gave me a sex scene.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Oh, and it was supposed to be, like, a hot romance.

[Joe Feldman]

Yeah. It edged, and then it never finished.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Oh, tough. That's real tough. Okay. Wow, you've. I love covering all these books. This is a book podcast, and I love that Lauren Grams was right in the middle. I think. Let's just dive in. We'll take it piece by piece. I do want to read page nine. Great. This is kind of the. The most backstory of her childhood that we get. And I will say I love how she covered her childhood in that she just gave us the interesting parts and then moved right along two pages later. We're in college.

[Joe Feldman]

Yes.

[Chelsea Damanges]

So this is what she wrote. My parents weren't together very long. They hadn't known each other very well when they decided to get married. And then they had me right away when they're both just 22 years old, and. Well, that sums that up. They were very, very young at the time. My mom was also trying to pursue a career as a singer, and it was decided I should stay with my dad. They parted as friends, and my father made the obvious next choice, something we'd all probably do in this situation. He moved us to the Virgin Islands, where we lived on a houseboat. I slept in a bunk bed type thing. That was also the kitchen. I was picked up for nursery school by the bus, which was actually a motorboat. We moved there because, you know what? I don't remember exactly. Then she, like, calls her dad and transcribes a very fictional conversation that never took place. Yeah, that's just, like, jokey dokey. Like, and why do we move there? And he was like, it's like, maybe for a girlfriend. Like, maybe for a job. Okay, so that's it. That's the childhood.

[Joe Feldman]

Yeah. I would be more curious about it, but I suspect they actually weren't on that island for very long. Yeah, that's sort of what I felt.

[Chelsea Damanges]

I was thinking to myself, like, where did she grow up? And I was like, I don't know now. Right.

[Joe Feldman]

Because then sometimes she's like, well, that was in D.C. like, it was very unclear where she grew up. Or, like, her mom dips out on page nine.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yeah.

[Joe Feldman]

So you're like, surely her mother was there somewhere.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Another cool detail from the childhood is that her mom spoke fluent Japanese and was this white lady living in Japan. And so they just, like, put her on television. They're like, Come be on this show. Also, her mom assessment stunner. There's a photo gorge of her dad, her mom, and her as a baby. And I was like, wow. Wow. Yeah. Stunner.

[Joe Feldman]

Yeah. Incredible.

[Chelsea Damanges]

So, yeah, But I mean, for moving around and living on a houseboat, like, that's a wacky childhood. And there. There are no more wacky childhood stories.

[Joe Feldman]

No, that's it. That's all. That's why I was like, I feel like they were on that boat for a month. And then she went to D.C. and.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Lived a normal childhood, I guess. All right, well, page 18. We're in college, baby. She skipped a grade. She skipped first grade because she was extra smart. Kind of felt outcast socially. And then she's like, time to go to college. And she goes to NYU's DISH School of the Arts.

[Joe Feldman]

Do you want to speak on that? Having a deep connection, kinship.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yeah. My alma mater.

[Joe Feldman]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Damanges]

It's really fascinating how often I'm encountering people who went to NYU's Tisch School of the Arts, which is where I went.

[Joe Feldman]

One might argue they have a high hit rate for successful people.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Okay, so that's what I was thinking. I was thinking, like, wait a minute. What I was told from whatever college magazine I was reading was like, if you want to make it, you go to Tish kid.

[Ad Host]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Damanges]

And I wanted to make it so badly. And so I took out so mighty many, many, many loans, being like, this will be worth it. And I actually don't think they have a high hit rate. I think they just scooped up all the kids who want to be in entertainment. If I'm remembering my math right? And listen, I went to art school, so I'm probably not. But let's say I was remembering my math, right? I almost positive there were 900 acting students in my year. That's not including all the other arts programs.

[Joe Feldman]

Oh, wow.

[Chelsea Damanges]

So if you see three of them as stars later on, it's, you know, it's three out of 900 is gonna happen no matter what school you send them to.

[Joe Feldman]

I'll tell you, you don't see a lot of people from my alma mater, Columbia College, Chicago, except for Michelle Monahan, who is a movie star. And that's the.

[Chelsea Damanges]

The only one. She is incredible. Well, also, Alexis Bledell went to, what, nyu, Tisch School of the Arts, and did the thing where you're not supposed to audition because you're supposed to be a serious actor. And she was like, fuck it. Audition for Gilmore Girls has been famous since she was 18. That's the story I knew about every.

[Joe Feldman]

Day freshman year, they say that to you, that you can't do it.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Just yelling about this on a subscriber only episode. But yes. So it's. I really only did. I realized I was a part of a scam when I was, like, writing my book and realizing, like, they really teach you. Yeah, you can't audition. You have to be studios. Because Cynthia Erivo also went to an art school, and they're like, you can't audition. You can't take a job. You're not a serious actor, or you won't be in the student play. And it's. So you keep paying them money.

[Joe Feldman]

You know, Second City did that too. Second City definitely did that. I remember specifically, and I don't know if I should say this story with the name of the actor, so bleep it if not. But okay. I remember when was on SNL also immediately. Crowd favorite. Everyone loves her. Like, she's just universally adored and funny. And a specific Second City saying. I just wish she had toured longer. She would have been more ready to go. And I'm like, she was. She was ready to go. She.

[Chelsea Damanges]

She's gone. Ugh.

[Joe Feldman]

I just wish we could have had her here for two more years, paying her 75 a week.

[Chelsea Damanges]

I. Yeah, I think that's. But that's all part of the scam where it's like, you cannot go and make your way in this world or else you won't be paying them money. Versus, like, any artistic program's goal should be, like, to get you out of there right immediately or and to teach you how to get out of there. I left NYU with nary a single skill on how to fudgeing, actually make it in the industry. But I tell you what, I did know what a diphthong was. And you know how many times that's come into use? None. Because even if you asked me right now to define it, I couldn't.

[Joe Feldman]

I was gonna say, what is it?

[Chelsea Damanges]

It's something with like a. Like a vowel. Something with your mouth and it's dialect. It's something. Something. Yeah. Well, that's where all my money went.

[Joe Feldman]

I went to college for radio broadcasting and audio production, so I'm using my degree right now.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yeah, I was gonna say this, actually. This is good. You've used that degree a lot where.

[Joe Feldman]

You have someone who's smarter than me who actually does the tech for your show, and I'm just Christina.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Shout out. Okay. So after a year at nyu, she makes a very smart choice. I was in Awe, she transfers to Barnard to become an English major. However, she is again, NYU had nothing to do with it because she's a very famous actress. But I was really blown away by this decision to transfer to become an English major, but still 100% stay dedicated to the career of acting. That kind of blew me away.

[Joe Feldman]

It's what I wish everyone did. And I feel like it's the thing where you're like, study the thing you want to be. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. But also you need to be a well rounded person to have a point of view. So if like all you do is study your craft, you won't have a, a perspective.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Like that's, that's why we have so many shows about acting and, and so.

[Joe Feldman]

Many novels about writers.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Exactly. Okay, so she graduates and she's like, I'm lost. You know, the New York conundrum I face, which is like you're just working all of the time to make rent and all of a sudden you don't do the dream anymore at all. You just work all the time to live in a shitty apartment that's actually quite far away from the actual city. So she said at a loss, I signed up to participate in what was called the urtas, a yearly audition program held in New York by a consortium of graduate programs in the arts. Since these schools were located all over the country, they sent representatives to New York to recruit actors once a year so they can get into like, pain programs, grad programs into like, you know, theaters where they go and perform. So she said to be at the audition, I had to take time off from work I couldn't afford. I was asked to prepare a classical monologue, a contemporary monologue and a song. And she said I had no coach or teacher or really anyone to try my material out on. In the end, I blindly chose an odd assortment. And then she said I had nowhere to rehearse, no time to prepare. I'd go to sleep after 12 hours on my feet, just reciting the lines in my head. She said I'd hardly ever done the pieces out loud before. The stage was massive. I'd never performed in a space so huge and my voice sounded so thin. The audience was unresponsive. But somehow I got in.

[Joe Feldman]

Like how? But how, but how, but how?

[Chelsea Damanges]

I love that you're being self deprec. Kidding. But you're clearly skipping anything that would make this make sense.

[Joe Feldman]

I read this with the knowledge that like she was on Broadway eventually in singing roles.

[Chelsea Damanges]

What? Christina has come in. She was in a revival of Guys and Dolls in 2009. And it is a singing part and it is post Gilmore Girls.

[Joe Feldman]

That's true.

[Chelsea Damanges]

But yeah, I don't know how she did that. I guess. I guess reading between the lines, she's just very talented. So that's great.

[Joe Feldman]

That was a more generous conclusion than I had. And I love Lauren.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Graham, what is your conclusion?

[Joe Feldman]

My first thought was just like, there were less people going for it.

[Chelsea Damanges]

That can't be true. It's acting. No way. But anyway.

[Joe Feldman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. I mean, and I do think she is a talent.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Oh, she's so. She's so talent. I believe it. It's just a tough lead up. As someone who's also been in the arts, you're sort of like, that story was. I mean, it wasn't like a joke story, but it should have been. Should have been. Okay, well, here's something equally unbelievable, and I'm going to say even more impressive than that audition story quote. I haven't read a review of myself since that day. I've also never googled myself. Joe Feldman, what do we think?

[Joe Feldman]

I am a person with a private Instagram and a private life. And I have Googled myself probably monthly since Google existed.

[Chelsea Damanges]

I've got a Google alert set up that nothing good comes of. It'll send me things that I should not have had eyes on. And you know what? Never turns it off. I've only added others. Like, I'll add, like, my film or something. Like, I never.

[Joe Feldman]

You just keep making it worse. I know. And I feel a lot of our friendship has been me begging you to not do it and you being like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know it would probably be better.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yeah. But we obviously know I'm going to do it. But that's the thing. Like, I don't even Google. I've got the alerts set up, so it's automated. I ain't even typing the name in. I've got the automated reports coming in and she's over here. Never once. My first instinct is always like, I don't believe it. Because I think human nature is to hurt ourselves, especially when we are actors who want validation. But I went and took a gander at her Instagram and I read this book. She's a private person. She doesn't like sharing. She doesn't like posting. I believe. She doesn't like searching.

[Joe Feldman]

I believe her. I totally believe her.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yeah. Well, okay, let's then get into a really painful part of this book. It's not you. Guess what? You think I'm going to say when I say one of the most painful parts of the book. Okay, we're going to take a quick break right now and we'll be right back. So growing up, my mom t mom z always taught me that cashmere was the most luxury bougie fabric and you should always buy cashmere. And so a few years ago, I saw this cashmere jumpsuit online and it was super affordable. And I bought it for my mom for Christmas. And that jumpsuit was from Quince. Long before I was doing this ad, I was buying cashmere from Quince because it is such good quality, it's such a good price. And my mom is here to attest that that jumpsuit is still going strong. Quince has something for everyone. Soft Mongolian cashmere sweaters for $50 that look like designer pieces. They have Italian wool coats. Every piece is made with premium materials from ethical, trusted factories and priced for far lower than what other luxury brands charge. So it was very up my alley. Find gifts so good you'll want to keep them with quince. Go to quince.com glamorous for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N C-E.com glamorous to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com glamorous Black Friday savings are here.

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[Chelsea Damanges]

Okay, welcome back. Let's continue the conversation.

[Joe Feldman]

One of the most painful parts of her book. One of when she brings her cousin with her as her date to everything.

[Chelsea Damanges]

No, that was actually sweet. President Hillary Clinton parentheses. It's only March as I write this, so I'm just guessing.

[Joe Feldman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Shares her state of the union highlights and her red carpet slimmed down secrets. And that's when I like went back to the front of the book and I said, published in 2016.

[Joe Feldman]

Very tough. Very tough.

[Chelsea Damanges]

That is how sure she was of even that joke. Dude.

[Joe Feldman]

I know. I mean, we all were. We were really fudgeing.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Cocky. I have to Tell you because that's when I got my first job working with Jon Stewart. And that summer he was like, what do you guys think to like our little writers room? And I remember saying, people really hate women.

[Joe Feldman]

I mean, you, you've always said it.

[Chelsea Damanges]

You. I've always said that. I've always been on that beat.

[Joe Feldman]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Damanges]

But I was like, I don't know, man. People really hate women. I don't think it's gonna happen. And this is before, like the James Comey and what all the whatever bullshit, blah, blah, blah. Wow. Okay.

[Joe Feldman]

Yeah, yeah. Devastating. Also buried in there is a theme throughout the entire book, which is the diet stuff.

[Chelsea Damanges]

So this is exactly what we're going into. So this is page 46. This is when I knew the book again. I love her. I love her spirit. I love her personality. As I've said on this podcast before, if you are not ready to memoir, don't memoir. Don't do it. Don't do it.

[Joe Feldman]

As if there was a gun to her head 100%.

[Chelsea Damanges]

I will say her follow up book to this, it's like 12 stories I don't want to forget. And kudos to that second editor because had this book been reformatted into 12 stories between the first Gilmore Girls and the second Gilmore Girls or 12 Gilmore Girls stories or whatever. Great book.

[Joe Feldman]

It was just unclear what it was doing. Was it telling us the story of Lauren Graham? Was it telling us the story of Gilmore Girls A year in the life coming back like. Or was it telling us the story of Gilmore. It was just like, really. Sorry to skip ahead a little bit. But like, even when the reboot happens, it's so confusing that like she includes her Instagram post about her first day and she's like, eventually I post this Instagram about my first day. So we know it's official and it's like, but you're in the hair and makeup trailer when you took that picture, so there has to be a story before, like nothing goes full again. We're edging well.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yeah, well, I. And I, I say this a lot, so I'm annoyed by myself. But it has no structure. Has no structure. But I think a second way to say that structure sounds very like high minded, mathy. But another way to say that is just no thought you can tell she didn't begin a story knowing where it was going, what she wanted to say, or even what the story was going to be about. And I think had she just thought, I want to tell the story of how, you know Gilmore Girls, the reboot was so hard to happen. And all the things that happened to get us to this point, that would have been a great chapter. But I think she starts every chapter, like blindfolded, driving a car. Like, where are we going?

[Joe Feldman]

It's certainly when she's like, I'm tired typing it between shot setups. I'm like, no, we know. You can tell you opened and closed your computer 50 times in a day and never read the sentence before.

[Chelsea Damanges]

And that is nowhere more apparent than this diet section, which killed me. Okay, I need to take us through the journey of how she walks. Okay. She said, you know, but Lauren, you live in Hollywood where the most incredibly attractive, healthy looking people are. Can't you give us more insight into the beauty? Blah, blah, blah, Up. She's like, okay, fine. Here are some more of the top Hollywood secrets I've learned from years of talking to the best nutritionist, personal trainers, Eastern and western medicine practitioners, and famous skinny people. Every bit of advice below was actually given to me by a fancy person or someone who knows a fancy person and the methods they use to stay fancy. And I was like, oh, no. And she starts and she goes, over the years, I've told that meat is an important protein. Meat is bad for you. The best way to lose weight is to eat a high protein diet. The best way to lose weight is eat a vegan diet. And I go, oh, she's joking. She's telling us all the things. So she doing a joke. Ha ha ha. Loved it. We go through. The entire page is covered with all of the things they tell you on how to lose weight. Then she's like, no, actually it's two pages. It's two pages of this bit. And don't drink any water either. Tap water is obviously poison, but beware of the bpa. Is your bottled water too. Also try to. Then she says, what?

[Joe Feldman]

Huh?

[Chelsea Damanges]

My editor, Jennifer E. Smith, full name clock. Yeah, what's up? Jennifer multiple times has just informed me that my book is late. Wait, no, that can't be because you're reading it. I got confused since that's what she's calling me about 99 of the time. Oh, it's something else. She thinks the above list may be a little confusing for readers. Okay, Jen. And then she's like going on and on and you're like, okay, we got lost. Then she's like doing the bit another page. Now she's moved into working out. You should probably start working on your ensemble now for the workout class you have in three days. As a person, you are Worthless without a high fashion workout ensemble. So we're doing the bit another page again. And then I'm like, okay, I get it, we're joking. Then she says, when I can, I work out with Michelle Lovett, an incredible person who's an excellent trainer and friend. It's like, it helps to wear a heart rate monitor to keep track of calories, burns and make sure you're in the fat. And I said, wait, wait, no, she's giving real advice. Then she goes, I know it's frustrating, but don't despair. I have a few more top Hollywood secrets for you. And it's a list. Number one, if you're trying to lose weight, you're gonna be hungry for of the day, fairly cranky and irritating to your friends. Or maybe it's your friends who are irritating. It's hard to tell because you're so hungry. You need to be like this every day for about two weeks to see results. Do you think she was doing a joke? Because that's real.

[Joe Feldman]

No, I think that was a real how I get red carpet ready disordered eating thing. Because she talks about. I know. This is what sort of bothered me about it. She's 58, so she's comfortably Gen X. So I excused that a little bit. So I'm like. So I was like, wow, she's like really gonna, like, talk about how silly it is, all the dieting stuff. And she even says at one point, Oprah is still working on this issue. She's rubbed elbows with heads of state and every celebrity in the universe, opened a school in Africa, among other accomplishments, made millions of dollars and helped scores of people have a better life. By her own admission, she's still working on diet related topics. So to sum up, let's all chillax about it and spend more time being kind to ourselves and doing truly useful things. Blah, blah, blah. That's such a nice sentiment. If you then don't go into exactly how you lose weight. And then repeatedly throughout the book mention other people's diets, other people's body sizes, and how many times you've worked out during your day.

[Chelsea Damanges]

It's also like that Oprah paragraph was like, oh, so close but no cigar. You almost got the lesson.

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[Chelsea Damanges]

That is, this person dedicated their entire life to diet culture. They have all the money and resources in the world. They've done everything and it still didn't work. It doesn't. It doesn't work because diet culture doesn't work. We were so close, you guys. If the person with millions and billions and billions can't do it. It's because it's broken. Yeah, Yeah. I mean, she said, I lost most of the weight once after a bad breakup and then again while rehearsing a Broadway show. Try to arrange for these things to happen at the same time and then you'll be looking really good again. It's a joke, but it's true. And she said most of the weight. The what? What weight are you talking about? But we are talking about the weight you said earlier. When it comes to Gen X and diet culture, like, I let it go. Why is that?

[Joe Feldman]

I forgive it because I think, like, the idea of body neutrality or body positivity or anti diet was not even like a thing people thought about until 10 years ago. And Gen Xers had already had children by then and were already giving eating disorders to their kids. It was too late.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yeah, well, and also, I just want to say, like, they really went through it, like what they were taught, what we all were taught. We've really all been steeped in diet culture. So I think I just really feel for everyone who was pummeled with being taught to hate your body and hate yourself. And like, like, that's the generation where Delta Brick was like, I took meth every morning because it was a cute weight loss drug. And we have all our own demons now that are different. And I think it's also hard for millennials to get out of diet culture. I think it's hard for everyone. I think we're all really, really dealing with it. And on this podcast, I've said before that I think things have gotten better. And then one of the cookies works in eating disorders and diet culture and is like a statistician and said that the numbers of younger women with eating disorders have actually gotten worse. So I think we're all really going through it. I wish it was. Was something that was unraveling faster, but I mean, yeah, that was a bummer part of the book because you could tell she wanted to joke about it and then just got lost in the sauce and then ended up, like, dealing.

[Joe Feldman]

Out tips about eating clean and her, like, exercise obsession. And her idea that, like, that if you do these things, you'll look really good is like, oh, you missed the point. The point is that, like, we're not judging people about how they look and everyone's beautiful.

[Chelsea Damanges]

It's sort of like, ah.

[Joe Feldman]

I think what sort of also is the bummer about it is that Gilmore Girls actually A Year in the Life, which I think I'm maybe we touched on in either Carney Wilson or Kelly Bishop's book was the Year in the Life had, like, a lot of fatphobia in it. But the original show, I don't recall being fat phobic. And I recall having sort of like, the thing about Lorelai and Rory was how gluttonous they were. Like, that they were ultimate, always hungry. And people would always remark about how amazing it was how much they were eating, which you can only do if your actors are skinny. Because if your actors are fat and you're always talking about how much they eat, you're not, like, celebrating it. You're like. Like, one plus one equals two. Like, they're like, yeah. And I even actually talked about this with a colleague a year ago who was, like, dealing with having a kid who was having restrictive eating, like a tween. And I was like, oh, you should maybe watch Gilmore Girls together, because they're extremely Western standard of beauty women. And they're eating and they are celebrating and eating, and, like, they're delighting in eating. And it's just good to see that on television.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Oh, that's fascinating because obviously I know there'd be another way to look at this and dissect how. Yeah, you know, upholding a certain standard size while talking about eating probably isn't good for the brain. But what you just said is a K pop demon hunters thing. I know, 100 on the show all the time. But they do really celebrate. They love eating, even though they are upholding US standard. That is, like, physically impossible. Also, they are cartoons.

[Joe Feldman]

They are cartoon. They're cartoons. And their belly buttons are so visible. Why?

[Chelsea Damanges]

Oh, I never thought about the belly button thing. Well, another thing about this book that I want to talk to you about is at one point I wrote like, oh, this is really 2016 humor. And then I thought, no, this is 2005 humor. She uses this phrase three times in the book. I'm drunk with power.

[Joe Feldman]

I mean, she's hitting that word count. She repeated that joke joke three, four times.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yeah. And then another joke is like talking about something and then saying something really funny. But then the next sentence is, sorry for yelling. It's my book. I'm drunk with power. And then I said, oh, it's really. She's really got the Gilmore Girls cadence. Almost as if, like, who came first? Amy Sherman Palladino writing Lorelei? Or is Lauren Graham Laurelai? And she invented that cadence because the writing style is how Lorelei would make jokes in that show. Which is to say, like, lots of, you know, it's the title of the book. Talking as fast as I can. Lots of words, little phrases. She's not hitting hard jokes, but she's like, coffee. And I say that as someone whose personality is like, I need my coffee. And that might be why I took this book so hard, because if I'm not careful, my personality becomes coffee and dogs. I have to work really hard.

[Joe Feldman]

That's. Yeah, that's tough.

[Chelsea Damanges]

And I could see when Lauren had. Had lost the battle we both fight, which is like, no coffee, no worky.

[Joe Feldman]

It did make me wonder, too. Like, have you ever heard the theory that, like, famous people stay in the aesthetic that they were at the year they became famous?

[Chelsea Damanges]

Okay, we're gonna take a quick break right now, and we'll be right back.

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[Joe Feldman]

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[Chelsea Damanges]

Oh, you think?

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[Chelsea Damanges]

Okay, welcome back. Let's continue the conversation.

[Joe Feldman]

Famous people stay in the aesthetic that they were at the year they became famous. Like, Jennifer Aniston is always gonna have her hair one way because that was the way it was on Friends or like.

[Chelsea Damanges]

And this. Yes. And this is going to be a weird reference, but Corey Feldman on Dancing.

[Joe Feldman]

With the Stars, that's a. I mean, yeah, like, it's a time test. He's 100 people will stay where they're. And so, like, for Lauren Graham, it's like, yeah, 2005, when she is looking, talking, and at the height of her fame and the height of her career blowing up, she will stay like that. Because what we do love about Lauren Graham is that she's Lorelei.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yeah. I mean, it. She was incredible in the role. No one could have played it the way she did. But it is fascinating in 2016 to read a Laurel Lie like Cadence without the writers writing it. And I. I just want to say, because it's haunting me right now. We got, like, this comment on Spotify that was mad because I called out a word that Christ overused in her sister wife memoir. And they were like, but you overused the word journey in this episode. And I just want to say, yeah, I am also a dumb bitch, and I'm not above it. And in terms of, like, using the same word a lot, like, I'm sure I do it all the time on this podcast, and I'm not trying to call it out and be like, I would never. No, I. I definitely would make the same mistake. And I'm talking about it here with y'.

[Joe Feldman]

All.

[Chelsea Damanges]

And, like, I also get way too jokey. And I think one of the things Lauren wrote in her book that I think might illuminate. Illuminate this point better. It's out of context. But I'll read this paragraph that I think will sum it up. She's in rei, and she said, it didn't take me long to realize that everyone who works at REI is named Tad. Tad has zero percent body fat and a deep tan. From the joyous way Tad describes the absorbency levels of the shammy Wowzas by the register, you might suspect he is on drugs. But Tad would never take drugs, what with all the fresh air in the world. Tad and all his co workers, Tad were matching vests adorned with loops and hooks. Hooks. You may briefly wonder if the Tads go out after work wearing all their matching vests or if they're just part of a cult whose members love to fish. Tad is always happy and positive. The only time I've ever seen Tad a little bit down was when I told him I thought all the sleeping bags were alike. Don't be sad, Tad. I know better now. Every food available at REI has the word fiber on the package, and everything else they sell has a tough or scary name. The enforcers, the prowlers, the trailblazers, the strikers. No, they aren't names of military attack plans. They're just waterproof substances. Fox. And this is in her memoir. And so I was like, oh, we're going on joke runs about dad.

[Joe Feldman]

It was like an attempt at story. Yeah. In a chapter introducing the American people to a very popular store where, in fact, it's not hard to become a member of their co op. They ask you to do that at checkout the first time you're there. She's like, I patronized it so much, I became a Member. And it's like, lauren, we're all members at rei.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Like, I think I'm a member against my will because I. I had to get backpack on set, and they had the only ones big enough. And they're like, you will get 40 off today, ma', am, and you don't have to ever come back. And I was like, all right, you know what?

[Joe Feldman]

That company is fantastic. They have amazing parental leave. And I remember I got, like, a mug from there when I first had my oldest daughter, and something happened with it where it broke or something, and I tried to return it, and I missed the window. And they were like, sorry, you missed the window? And I was like, oh, I'm so bummed. Like. Like, it's the only way to keep coffee warm when you have a newborn. For some reason, your coffee's always on the wrong side of you, and it's cold by the time you get to it. You can't ever reach it when you have a newborn. And they were like, we're so sorry that that happened to you. We're gonna send you a brand new insulated mug. And they sent me, like, a baby gift. It was so nice. I got. I gotta give it up to rei.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Wow. All of that is better than the chapter I read about REI in this book.

[Joe Feldman]

She's like, it turns out you need a jacket to be in the cold. And we're like, lauren, we know.

[Chelsea Damanges]

I get. But that's why I was like, okay, so did you spend more time on the island than we thought? Great question. You should know. Jacket's gonna help out.

[Joe Feldman]

Wait, that's a great point. Yeah, you're right.

[Chelsea Damanges]

But that's why I think she was. She was just going for the joke a lot, which, listen, I get. I do it too, but it was so often, and it was so her character. I just made me really curious about where Lorelei's sense of humor came from, because Lorelai is very written in Amy Sherman Palladino cadence. Because you can see it in all of her other shows. Yes. So I guess they really were just like a match made in heaven. Let's talk about how she got the show. Okay. So she's like, I'm a struggling actor. I do this audition. She gets into grad school, and then we skip to success. My biggest pet peeve in memoirs, especially when I was reading them in my 20s, being like, how. How? Tell me how she skipped it. She said, when I got the script for the Gilmore Girls pilot, I was in New York staying at a friend's studio. Apartment Waiting to hear if the series I just completed for NBC, Don Rus's myob was going to be picked up for a second season or canceled. Had you ever heard of myop?

[Joe Feldman]

Never. No.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Actually, I'm trying to figure out what it stands for now. MYOB.

[Joe Feldman]

Okay. Here's Christina. She's got the info.

[Chelsea Damanges]

It's MYOB, mind your own business from the year 2000. I never knew we did that acronym.

[Joe Feldman]

I don't think we did.

[Chelsea Damanges]

That feels like that must have been.

[Joe Feldman]

That feels like someone's dad being like, oh, my daughter says Lila's all the time. I'm gonna try one of those for my show.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Let's make that a sitcom.

[Joe Feldman]

Christina.

[Chelsea Damanges]

You knew it. You did. Okay. Christina came back in to let Joe and I know we are dumbasses. And MYOB was apparently a very popular acronym. I guess. I guess we were too busy being really cool in middle school to know.

[Joe Feldman]

I'm sorry if I spent all my free time hanging out with my mom and dad.

[Chelsea Damanges]

They didn't know my OB was. Yeah. Okay. I guess MYOB is mind your own business. Okay. She's amazing. Okay. So the point I really actually wanted to make was she was already the star of another show. Yeah. And she said the Gilmore Girls script had actually been sent to me once before, but I hadn't read it. I didn't wanna read something and fall in love with it, only to find out I wasn't available. And then they said, they'll take you in second position now, which is Hollywood lingo. And it used to matter a lot more in pilot season when literally you were in first, second, or third position for certain things as a writer, as an actor, whatever it may be. But really, first position has the rights to you. And so she then gets cast on Gilmore Girls, shoots the pilot. But there was still a possibility of MYOB getting a second season. And so they had taken such a huge risk on her or had insider information on myob, which is to say they shot an entire pilot. Thousand, hundreds and thousands. Millions of dollars.

[Joe Feldman]

Insane.

[Chelsea Damanges]

And they would have had to reshoot it. It had NYOB gotten picked up.

[Joe Feldman]

They knew Amy Sherman Paladino got that show shut down.

[Chelsea Damanges]

She knew. Yeah. She also. It's like, I can't imagine anyone playing that role but Lauren Graham. So it's like that's. That's the risk was.

[Joe Feldman]

What was Amy Sherman Palladino before Gilmore Girls?

[Chelsea Damanges]

Great question. So she was a writer on Roseanne for 37 episodes. Oh. Oh, amazing. And I know from reading Roseanne's Memoir. She's got some stories from that room. She also wrote on Can't Hurry Love and Veronica's Closet.

[Joe Feldman]

Oh, I loved Veronica's Closet.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. And then she goes into Gilmore Girls, and then it's a couple of other shows before Bun Heads, which I had never seen. Bunheads. Loved it.

[Joe Feldman]

I loved Bun Heads. It was too short lived.

[Chelsea Damanges]

And her latest show. Do you speak French?

[Joe Feldman]

I don't speak French, no. I don't know. I don't speak French and I wouldn't dare try.

[Chelsea Damanges]

I know we have French, listeners, please. I watched it on TV and I don't. I think it's a toilet. But she loves dance.

[Joe Feldman]

Yes.

[Chelsea Damanges]

And she love, like, there's a few themes in Amy's life.

[Joe Feldman]

She loves thin women. She loves.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Oh, Joe Feldman.

[Joe Feldman]

She loves thin women. That's what all of her shows are about. Like.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yeah. And Marvis. Mrs. Maisel. She's, like, measuring herself as a baby. Pilot.

[Joe Feldman]

Yes.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yeah. Interesting. Okay, so. So then I want to read something on page 69 that really, I think it's going to speak to you, too, and speak to any of the TV lovers or TV writers out there. She said, what's so funny about the Gilmore Girls pilot, by today's standards, is that while the dialogue is delightful from the start, nothing really happens for the first 15 or 20 minutes until Rory gets into Chilton and Lorelei has to ask her parents for money today. If a mother and daughter speaking clever dialogue didn't also reveal themselves, themselves to be surgeons, werewolves, undercover to detectives by the end of the teaser, we'd never be picked up. Also, we would all look 12 years, 100. So I've never felt anything more deeply. I guess I. I have have a show that I'm taking out. And part of the pitch is it's because I love Gilmore Girls, too. It's Gilmore Girls. I guess I won't pitch my show here, but. But part of it is, like, it's Gilmore Girls if it was blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever, right? And in development, they were like, but we just need, like, more of a hook look faster. And I said, but remember, the pitch is Gilmore Girls. There's two, maybe three story points in every episode of Gilmore Girls.

[Joe Feldman]

And it was an hour long.

[Chelsea Damanges]

And it was an hour long.

[Joe Feldman]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Damanges]

They do not turn the story. And have you ever wondered why Gilmore Girls is so popular and no one can get a new Gilmore Girls on air? It's because you're noting it away from Gilmore Girls, which is character based.

[Joe Feldman]

And have you ever wondered why Gilmore Girls is such a popular rewatch because it goes down so easy because it is just about the characters and their relationships and like nothing happens and. But it's.

[Chelsea Damanges]

It's also like there's stuff going on you're interested in. It's not as slower pace as other shows. It doesn't have no story, but it's. It's a relationship based show. And I just don't think we allow relationship based shows anymore.

[Joe Feldman]

Totally, totally.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Okay. So then she gets into a section I call Trinkets from Gilmore Girls where she just kind of lives kind of half thoughts from the seven seasons of Gilmore Girls. You know, would you say that's what that.

[Joe Feldman]

Yes, I would say also I would challenge that. And I don't know. But she speaks kindly about every single person she did the show with. And I think we know that it's not true like that there were.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Wait, say more like Scott Patterson, who.

[Joe Feldman]

Plays Luke Danes and Lauren Graham were, I think, think famously didn't get along. And she speaks very highly of him throughout this memoir.

[Chelsea Damanges]

How fascinating.

[Joe Feldman]

And maybe they've patched it up.

[Chelsea Damanges]

She has said she's dated Gilmore Girls co stars, but never Scott.

[Joe Feldman]

Right. I think. Yeah. I think she didn't like him. I think that was a thing.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Well, I get not printing that in the book when you're literally revamping and.

[Joe Feldman]

Hoping that more that he can do it again and again and again. But she keeps seeming to apply.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Smart decision.

[Joe Feldman]

Yes. There are just some things where I'm like, this feels a little bit like whitewashy. There weren't many anecdotes between her and Alexis, except for the one of Alexis nagging her out of getting a tattoo.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yeah. Well, and the one that I think a lot of people know but still touches me where a lot of the walking scenes around Stars Hollow, she's linking her arm in her daughter's arm. It's this cute way they walk. And we know now. And she says in the book it's because Alexis was so green, she didn't know. Know how to reach her mark or get to her mark for camera. And so she would guide her to their marks when they were walking and talking. And that's what created that arm and arm. Yeah. I was also surprised. The only anecdote from this entire section that I thought was interesting was that she was at a restaurant eating when her agent called the restaurant and the waiter came over and said, your agent's on the phone. And she went and grabbed the phone at the restaurant because this is what 2000. When is this show canceled? She picks up the phone and her agent goes, gilmore Girls is canceled.

[Joe Feldman]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Damanges]

I was like. And I said, how do you know where she was? How do know where she is?

[Joe Feldman]

How often are people talking to their agents on the phone?

[Ad Host]

All.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Every day. And also, you called her mid course.

[Joe Feldman]

Let her finish dinner, leave a message on her answering machine.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yeah, I don't know. But. But apparently a lot of people didn't find out the show was canceled, like, only she and Alexis did. And she says, I wish now I had called everyone and told them it was canceled because everyone else found out from the news. And I wish I'd held a party and gotten us all in person, because it just ended when they'd all left. They didn't know it was the season finale or series finale.

[Joe Feldman]

And like.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Like the way it went down was a huge bummer for fans, too.

[Joe Feldman]

Yes. Oh, it was, like, devastating. I can't even imagine. And that is sort of how it goes. Like, you really don't know. I mean, a lot of times in the room, you don't know if you're writing a season finale or a series finale just because of how things shake out. And it's sort of, like, unfair to the process and the people who make these things.

[Chelsea Damanges]

No, absolutely. And also Amy Sherman Paladino, the creator of the show, had been pulled off the show, like.

[Joe Feldman]

Yeah, yeah. Yes. And I feel like there probably was more. More that could have been said about that, that she was. I just felt she was really protective about everything when she was writing. Maybe, as you point out, like, maybe she's hoping that there is going to be another reboot. Maybe because this was, like, the press for the reboot. Also, somehow she's doing press for this book while we're in the book.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Well, that's only in the last chapter, and that's because it's a bonus chapter. Oh, okay.

[Joe Feldman]

It was like, what's happening? I'm in the book.

[Chelsea Damanges]

No, no, no, no, no, no. It was. It's paperbacks. Get the bonus chapter. And so she did the bonus chapter about the book tour. Oh, okay. Got it.

[Joe Feldman]

I will say I was like, maybe I'm enjoying this uniquely, because I happen to work on that lot right now. So when she was picturing that she's, like, going to the gym or going and riding her bike around and where the gazebo is, like, we. We walk the beat a lot at lunchtime just to, like, get some fresh air. And we walk by the Gilmore Girls house every day. We walk past Luke's we walk past.

[Chelsea Damanges]

The gazebo you're working at at Stars Hollow.

[Joe Feldman]

I'm working in Stars Hollow, honestly.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Joe Feldman, please go talk to your 22 year old self, your 22 year old inner child, you at 22, who I am probably currently having a beer with on your porch and tell her that you work in Stars Hollow, that.

[Joe Feldman]

One day I'm gonna just be walking by Luke Danes and wishing and.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yeah, I did love that detail. Comes later during the reboot. But basically she rides her bike on the lot from her trailer to set. Well, let's get into the good old days of tv. That's a section I have later. Let's first talk about what very little she shares about dating and the love of her life. So she said. In 2002, I was paired up with Peter Krause to present at the SAG Awards. We'd met before in the late 90s on an episode of Caroline in the City where we were both guest stars. And then when they go out to present the award, he turns to her and he says, do you want to hold hands? And she's like, okay, sure. And they're like, hold hands, presents an award. She goes and sits down back with her date, who is either her cousin or her dad, which I think that's cute. She really takes her cousin and her dad to all the events.

[Joe Feldman]

She does seem like a family man. She really is.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yeah. Yeah. And she said, for a long time, I worked and worked and worked. Then I looked up and all my friends were married with children. These married with children people were all still my friends, but they'd become part of a community. I wasn't in a club I didn't belong to. Socially, their lives had completely changed and they were busy. Their attention had turned to carpools and birthday parties and school tuition. And I was playing catch up. Wait, so we don't have game night anymore? You guys, who's free for for dinner Saturday? Oh, absolutely no one. And she said it took me longer to see that and I just didn't have the same urgency they had to get to it. But one day, just like that, I thought, I get it now. I'd be interested in this other stuff. That basically work wasn't the most important thing in life. And so then she talks about how she is then, like, okay, I should date too, and feels like it's too late. And at this I did the math, and if I'm clocking everything correctly, she's about 38. As she's writing this, I feel like that's like she did Gilmore Girls and then was like, maybe I should date someone after that.

[Joe Feldman]

Yeah, that has that. I know. I mean, I know that's tough. Like that's a tough age to be looking for a person because it does feel like people marry off at certain times. Yeah.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Although I gotta tell you, don't you feel like so many people in our generation are getting divorced that it actually might be a great. That actually like early 30s when people are marrying, they're like, oh, we're locking it down. Or late or late 20s. 20s. But this age, they're all. There's a lot of people back up for grabs being like oopsie doopsies. Oh yeah.

[Joe Feldman]

It's like what Ali Wong said. She's like, I want to date a man that's been pre yelled at by his ex wife. Like, you want someone that's been through it, that knows.

[Chelsea Damanges]

I don't know. I mean, dating at any age is really hard. Also in the year she's writing in, I think the stats were different. Yeah. And it was difficult. And then she said the only bright spot, dude wise, was at an event where I met Matthew Perry. He became my longtime friend who I almost, but never exactly dated. Or F W I B N E D make a sitcom about it. We probably all have at least one F W I A B and E D in our lives. My F W I A N B and E D is very special to me. She then says nothing else. So she's like, he's very special to me, period. Moving on. I said.

[Joe Feldman]

You'Re not gonna tell us anything more? Secondly, come on.

[Chelsea Damanges]

I have now read enough memoirs to know that Matthew Perry was everybody's fw. Thank you guy got this story in her book too. This man was like, hey, what's up? To every brunette lady walking.

[Joe Feldman]

Yes, 100. Also, he was like the most popular actor I'm sure everyone was sleeping with Matthew Perry.

[Chelsea Damanges]

He was also heavily dealing with addiction throughout his entire life. And another way to express addiction is through love, sex, dating, non commitment. Because all love to him. Like, because he has passed. We've read his memoir too. Like in his memoir, you know, he's dating and dipping and I mean, there's a story in his memoir where he's like, this one lady wanted me to propose. Like yes, they did. And she had two dogs. And then I got home, was like, what have I done? And I'm like, what was her name?

[Joe Feldman]

What was her name?

[Chelsea Damanges]

Who was the lady you proposed?

[Joe Feldman]

Irrelevant.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Irrel.

[Joe Feldman]

It was maybe Lauren Graham.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Irrelevant. In his book. Book. And so, yeah, so she talks about him mean her like, friend who they almost date.

[Joe Feldman]

But it seems like she was trying to say friends with benefits. But for some reason, like wouldn't actually say it.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Wouldn't. But having read the other women's accounts of Matthew Perry, you, you were fucking, you were loving, you were friendly. Yeah. Give us a detail, throw us a scrap.

[Joe Feldman]

She doesn't want to get. It's like, as you said, she's a private person. Why write a memoir?

[Chelsea Damanges]

Don't memoir. If you don't want a memoir, write twelve funny stories. As she later did. Don't write a memoir.

[Joe Feldman]

She also said it some point, like, I have a bad memory. Like, if you think you are ever going to write a memoir, write the details down because I don't remember anything.

[Chelsea Damanges]

And I'm like, well, she said, keep a journal. Keep a journal. That, that's actually amazing advice. And that's advice I give to every young person.

[Joe Feldman]

I mean, it's great advice.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Keep a journal.

[Joe Feldman]

It's great advice. But don't admit it to me. The person reading your memoir, that you don't remember anything.

[Chelsea Damanges]

I later. Okay, so also in this book, she talks about how when she was writing her novel someday, someday maybe, and she had written 100 pages of it just for funsies, and then she hadn't even proofread it and then sent it to her agent who sends it to a literary agent who then sends it out as a pitch without even telling her, though maybe that's supposed to be a joke, I don't know. And her agent says to her, sure, I'll pick it up and everyone will. You could write monkey doodles and sell it because you can get booked on the Today show and publishing is so difficult that if you can book a spot on today's show, you get to sell a book no matter what's in it. But I don't want you to do monkey doodles. I want you to write a good novel. So let's try and get you with a good editor.

[Joe Feldman]

Editor.

[Chelsea Damanges]

And she's like, that's what I did. I've never read her novel. I. I do believe she probably, that's probably a great book and written much better because she likes fiction. She doesn't like personal details, but I imagine she wanted to write that novel. However, I said, this book is monkey doodles.

[Joe Feldman]

This book is monkey doodles.

[Chelsea Damanges]

And then you went and sold monkey doodles. You didn't just say the quiet part out loud. You printed.

[Joe Feldman]

She printed it quiet. She admitted it out loud. And isn't this, like. Doesn't she have three books now?

[Chelsea Damanges]

Well, so she has this, the 12 short stories. One that came after this and the novel, and then a commencement speech she did was, like, printed into, like, a little book. Okay, okay, I have another. I have a random note that I have to ask you out here. This will get us to the next final section of the book. Is her sister's name Shade?

[Joe Feldman]

Is her sister's name Shade?

[Chelsea Damanges]

Because I kept. I kept saying Shade in my head as I was reading it, but I was like, this is not how Shade is spelled spelled. I think it's Shade.

[Joe Feldman]

See, I landed. I landed because she's Irish, right? She talks about being Irish. Yes, I, I. So now I'm in the zone of, like, where someone has an Irish name where it's spelled Shade, but it's actually, like, Stephanie. Like, it's something. You know those Irish names that are.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Like, absolutely, like, like, no, nowhere near phonetically sounding, as if they're spelled like.

[Joe Feldman]

The first time I met someone named Siobhan, I was like, how do you spell it?

[Chelsea Damanges]

And it, like, blew my mucket. Okay, I gotta tell you, you know where I landed? I said, oop, I bet this is a half sister. And I say that from experience and from my own family. And I went and looked up, I said, oh, yeah, this is her half sister from her mom's second marriage where everything changed. Her sister's British, and Shade became a name that's in the same family with Lauren. She also has two half siblings from her father's second marriage. Yeah, none of this written about or clocked in the.

[Joe Feldman]

Right, Right. That would all be interesting.

[Chelsea Damanges]

I joke about this all the time with Yasser, but I realized, like, our three dogs have broken home names, and when I say broken home, it's because I come from one. I like that terminology. It's what speaks to me. So don't get mad at me. But broken home names really make me laugh because you're just sort of like, how did these things happen? And it's like a major life changes. The mom or dad went through major life changes every time they had a kid. That. So these names don't go together. Our dog's names, they're rescues. And some of them had names before they got to us. Atticus, Bronco, and Hachi.

[Joe Feldman]

Yeah, Hachi is the right.

[Chelsea Damanges]

You know what I mean?

[Joe Feldman]

Hachi, really. It does stick out like a sore thumb.

[Chelsea Damanges]

She really, really does.

[Joe Feldman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chelsea Damanges]

And Shade and Lauren were really giving, like, something's changed.

[Joe Feldman]

And then she said there was another sister, too.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Maggie, Maggie, Lauren and Shade. Now, see Maggie.

[Joe Feldman]

Maggie and Lauren go together.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Second marriage. They do.

[Joe Feldman]

This is just my note for Maggie.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Another sister. All right, so then she has a section again. Who knows why? I think she was like, this is one of my funny stories where she is a judge on Project Runway, and she talks a lot about the experience of getting to be a judge on Project Runway, even though she's not really into fashion. And then she tells the story about how it went by so fast that she kind of blacked out. She couldn't remember anything. She hadn't taken notes. And when it came to give critiques, she was just, like, making it up and, like, randomly guessing. And then. Then the funny punchline of the story that she writes is like, then I told my lawyer this, and he said, you're not supposed to tell people this. You signed an NDA, which, again, we're now in a book. So, like, I just can't imagine you did. But what did you think was the actual funny part of that story?

[Joe Feldman]

That there was a girl who was her fan and that she rated her poorly by guessing. She basically said, like, I just guessed on score yours. I was like, this is people's lives.

[Chelsea Damanges]

That's what I took from it. All I could think is everyone from that season.

[Joe Feldman]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Has taken pictures of this book and sent it to each other in utter, devastating pain.

[Joe Feldman]

And. And because it was the first episode.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Lives.

[Joe Feldman]

That's the first episode. So it's like, people like, you're at, like, that's it. That's all people will remember of you if you get eliminated ever.

[Chelsea Damanges]

And, like, as someone who has been a part of a lot of competitions, because that's what you got to do when you're a brokey jokey who has no way to infiltrate the business. You sign up for competitions, especially when you're, like, vulnerable and starting out, you take those critiques as real. That matters that you like, then hold as, like, part of how you need to change your artistry. Like, the amount of, like, notes I took for reals for years without realizing they were written by someone like me getting paid $10 an hour to read a script who shouldn't have been giving notes. Like, it took me so long to realize, like, all the screenplay competitions, like, some idiot said that about 100. I didn't need to take that seriously.

[Joe Feldman]

Or like, someone felt like they had to say something. Like, they had to give.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yeah, yeah. Because they had to say no. Or they've Never studied this, but now they have to. Or they blacked out and now they need to, like, say something on camera. It made me so sad.

[Joe Feldman]

It was really sad. I also was like, is this true? Like, Project Runway does. Doesn't prep their judges, like, at all.

[Chelsea Damanges]

And that's why I think, like, maybe, you know, in trying to be, like, funny and self deprecating, we lost some of the details in these stories. Okay, then this chapter is titled Someday, Someday maybe you'll believe my novel wasn't completely autobiographical. And she's talking about the sexism that went into when she wrote this novel. They're like, yeah, but it's not fiction because you're an actress and the character's an actress and how shitty they were to her of like, well, who was your ghostwriter when she really did write it? Herself. And just. Just how, like, chick lit is called chick lit or treated that way. But she wrote this. She said, I was in Atlanta, and it was the night before we were about to start filming the movie Middle School, based on the books by James Patterson and Chris Tibetz. At the cast dinner, I was thrillingly and frighteningly seated next to James Patterson himself, the author of countless thrillers, epic franchises that became Hollywood blockbusters, and a surprising number of children's books. So I couldn't help but ask him the question he's probably been asked a million times. How do you do do it? He turned to me and said, keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going.

[Ad Host]

Whoa.

[Chelsea Damanges]

That pretty much says it all, I guess. What did you think of that advice?

[Joe Feldman]

I thought that was, like, really, really lovely advice for someone starting out. Like, just that you have to write. I mean, that's what. What. Isn't that what we always say? Like, do you want to be a writer?

[Chelsea Damanges]

You got to write. Yeah. But even more than that, it's like. And never, ever stop, because you're about to go through decades of failures, or not, depending on your career, unless you're.

[Joe Feldman]

Lauren Graham and you can book yourself on the. In which case you can literally fart out a book and it'll be fine.

[Chelsea Damanges]

And that brings us to the writing advice in the book.

[Joe Feldman]

Okay, this is what I felt when you first asked me, what did you think of the book? And I said one of my favorite parts of the whole book was the writing advice. Unfortunately, it was someone else's advice.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Well, I think it's like. I think that's, again, where she, like, published the quiet part, which is that she turns to a friend because she's having trouble writing this book. And he gives her what he calls the kitchen timer method. And she's like, it's a take on the Pomodoro method. Now I know I'm not a Pomodoro method expert, but the Pomodoro method also uses a kitchen timer. So I'm kind of like, it's the same thing.

[Joe Feldman]

Exact same thing. Because the Pomodoro method I think is like 20 minute bursts.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Or actually I think it's 25 minute bursts. And the kitchen timer method is an hour.

[Joe Feldman]

It's great advice. I do it myself. That's how I write.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Summarize the advice for everyone listening.

[Joe Feldman]

Sure. The advice is basically to give yourself one hour. This is the one thing I don't do that I thought was. I could see being helpful, but is basically to give yourself an hour. Phone on airplane mode. No WI fi on your computer. Just to write. And you only have two things open. The thing you're working on and your journal. So you're like doing your free. So if you're not working on your thing, you're free writing. If you're not free writing, you're working on your thing. I think that's great advice. I do the same thing. I do like timed writing bursts and I give myself 15 around minutes and 45 writing minutes. That's my. That's my method. And then the advice was to stop when your timer goes off, no matter what. But I don't do that. If you're in a. I think if you're in a flow, you've.

[Chelsea Damanges]

You should keep going. The other piece of. It was like that hour is a writing appointment, and you show up to your appointment no matter what. So even if you want to show up up and just doodle in your journal, that's fine, but you're showing up to it. Can I be a huge.

[Joe Feldman]

Yeah. Yeah. It's just us.

[Chelsea Damanges]

It's just us. No one's listening, you know, so. So she then prints this advice which has steps to it, more steps than what we said. And I was like, oh, she's just printing his writing advice. But then it's attributed to him. So I was like, okay. So he took up four pages of the page count.

[Joe Feldman]

Yes.

[Chelsea Damanges]

And then I said, great advice, but printed in a book length. This. It's really only the first step. It's actually not enough to show up. And I'm sorry to be an asshole, but like, it's for sure not enough to show up and just free write. There's actually multiple other steps into making something well Written. And as someone who has to like, revise and bleed out my eyes as you do too, all the time, I was like, this is actually like, not enough advice. Like, you needed.

[Joe Feldman]

I felt like this was advice. This was advice for, like, how to have a work ethic. Like, if you already know what you're doing and you're like having trouble if you're. Whatever. I don't know. The other thing that I thought was interesting about it was like, there's basically like a. Not like a punishment reward system, but basically, like, if you don't make your full hour, two hours, then you don't owe more. The next day. You owe less because you're clearly not capable. It was sort of like a nagging. It was like, clearly you can't handle two hours, so tomorrow you should probably do one.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Like, I just. This is the type of advice that could be given and it's good to anyone for any productivity.

[Joe Feldman]

It's not actually not writing advice.

[Chelsea Damanges]

It's like, he didn't give her all the other steps to make a good book.

[Joe Feldman]

Yes. Okay. That's what. You're right. This was advice on how to do anything. Like, this is. This would be the advice I would give.

[Chelsea Damanges]

It's. It's advice for how to clean my closet. Like, show up for an hour a day and just try, you idiot.

[Joe Feldman]

It's literally like, just for. Yes. It's how I would have my daughter do her homework. Give yourself 20 minutes.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Like, I need that advice and I don't have a clean closet. I'm a failure in that aspect. So, like, I want to say, like, this is. It is good advice. I was just like, it's so funny to print that in a book that like, has no structure to it.

[Joe Feldman]

It's very, very bad.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yeah. Okay. But then there's another hack in here and Joe Feldman. I'm wondering if we should do this on our hangouts in the future. Granted, we don't go out a lot. We do a lot of talk about on the couch. But what if we did think about this when my sister meets her work friends for dinner. A group of super high level New York business types, they sometimes do the following. Everyone places their cell phone in the center of the dinner table. And the first one who can't take it anymore and goes to reach for their phone has to pay the bill. Fun. Okay, what do you think? I think we should do it.

[Joe Feldman]

I love it. We're instituting a phone basket at our house that you walk in.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Okay. And what happens. Wait, but your kids don't have phones.

[Joe Feldman]

No, it's for me. It's for me and Andy. It's like, because the phone is so much part of your life, like, with the kid, because the kids, like, can I see that picture? Can you play this song? Like, and then you have your phone out, and then you're like, oh, I have a text. And then you text, and then you're like, oh, I need to get this from Target. It's basically just, like, to get the phone not attached to us. Like, just leave the phone by the front door to be more intentional about the phone. And I do think that's. I mean, I know you. You and me were like, we'll sit down on a couch eating Taco Bell with Emily. And we all have our phones. Like, because we're looking at this. We want to show each other this. Like, the phones. Yeah, I think it's a great idea.

[Chelsea Damanges]

No, I think it's a good idea. Let's do it during Taco Bell nights. I also think this is a good writer's room role. The phones in the middle so that if you want to look at it, you've got to reach. Everyone's gonna be aware. And you pay some sort of price you should have to pay buying coffee or something. I don't know. Yeah. All right, we're doing it. And then another piece that I thought was really nice is that her novel Someday Someday maybe, is optioned by ellen. So it's 2016. But when she goes to say, like, who's gonna write this? Ellen says, you beautiful. And she said, such beautiful advice. I hope one day, like, I am helping women enter this business, because when they look for someone else to do their thing, I turn to them and say, you can do it. Like, you are enough. You can do it now. And she enunciates that point by stating that every feature film she's ever been in has been directed by a man. Because not enough women have been told, like, you can do it.

[Joe Feldman]

Yes. I thought this was so beautiful. So true. I hope she is a mentor. I love that her and May Whitman work on things together. I thought that was, like, really beautiful. She calls me Whitman, her husband at one point.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yeah. Which is so funny because she also played her daughter on Parenthood, I think. Very sweet. But you know what made me really sad is that she and May Whitman optioned or. Or were supposed to be writing a script called the Royal We. And in the book, she's referencing how she hasn't turned in the draft for that script, but it's coming and how she hasn't turned in the draft for her second novel, but it's coming. But I don't know that the royal. We happened. Which I am bummed about.

[Joe Feldman]

Yeah, we should check. I mean. But also happens.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Happens. You're right.

[Joe Feldman]

I have to say something. What does Ellen have on Lauren Graham?

[Chelsea Damanges]

Tell. Tell the people why you're saying this.

[Joe Feldman]

The amount of times Lauren Graham talks about Ellen being a good person. Person. It's a thing. A commonly held belief by Chelsea and I that if you constantly insist you are one thing, in fact, you are not. And in fact, it is the demon that you are fighting constantly. Case in point. I'm not a cheater. I'm not a liar. I'm not a big drinker. I'm nice. I'm a good person. I don't. I can keep a secret. None of these things are things that need to be said. Said by people that are those times.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Constantly.

[Joe Feldman]

Ellen's so nice. I was with Ellen.

[Chelsea Damanges]

I love.

[Joe Feldman]

I'm like, what did Ellen see Lauren Graham do on the Warner Brothers lot? Like, like, on the Warner Brothers lot One day, Lauren Graham beat an assistant to death. And Ellen saw it. And Ellen was like, that person never existed. Wink. And Lauren was like, and I'll make sure everyone knows you're the best, nicest lady in the world. Wink, wink. Okay.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Because I clocked this, too. I was like, why is she always talking about, like, 10 times? Yeah. I have a different take on.

[Joe Feldman]

Okay.

[Chelsea Damanges]

And who knows which one. Vote. Vote on Patreon.

[Joe Feldman]

Vote on. If you think manslaughter occurred.

[Chelsea Damanges]

1. I think Ellen is extremely nice to the actual selection.

[Ad Host]

Yes.

[Chelsea Damanges]

So, like, there's a chance Lauren really does know her as the lady that's, like, really nice. You for four. Sure.

[Joe Feldman]

Sure.

[Chelsea Damanges]

But there's very few celebrities she clocks as, like, my buddy, so she name checks Matthew Perry as, like, the dating person, but the one other, like, my homie, my pal, is someone who's also not known by their own admission on their podcast all the time as not being a nice person. And it's Dax Shepherd.

[Joe Feldman]

Yep.

[Chelsea Damanges]

And she's constantly like, me and Dax, me and Ellen.

[Joe Feldman]

It's like being, like, actually, like, Trump and Putin have always been, like, so nice to me. So, like, I'm just sort of going to go on, like, my experience with.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Them, but also I'm going to print it in my book where it's just like, you don't. And literally, like, she'll take up two paragraphs to be like, I saw Dax one day. And we gave each other a hug. Oh, man.

[Joe Feldman]

And also, he was so. He was so skinny.

[Chelsea Damanges]

And he was so tall.

[Joe Feldman]

He was so tall and skinny that day.

[Chelsea Damanges]

What did he.

[Joe Feldman]

What does he have on you?

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yeah, what is. What does he have on her? Did he witness the man?

[Joe Feldman]

He was there, too. Why are you talking about his body? Yeah.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Interesting. Interesting. Well, the book ends, and I didn't even realize the book was over or ending with a section called Gilmore Girls Trinkets Part two. And this is. They're filming Gilmore Girls again. And again, she just lists some random trinkets. Did any stand out to you?

[Joe Feldman]

Of things that she took home of literal trunks? Trinkets?

[Chelsea Damanges]

No, about things that she put in the book that I'm calling trinkets. Like a section of. Just like these things happen while filming.

[Joe Feldman]

Yes.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Okay.

[Joe Feldman]

There were some beautiful psychic moments with Kelly Bishop and, like, talking to Edward Herman, who played her dad, who had died before the reboot, and that Kelly would, like, be on set and be like, we know you're here, Ed. And then, like, a light would go out, which I thought was so cool. I loved that psychic moment. What I did did think was interesting was the uncanny valleyness of them having to rebuild everything, but everything being, like, a couple inches off or like, they didn't have the exact measurements. And I can't imagine how crazy that must feel to spend 10 years somewhere and then go back and have it be a little bit different.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yeah. Yeah. I. I loved those two anecdotes as well. The one that stuck with me is her talking about the last four lines of the Gilmore Girls series and how all the fans were talking about how she learns the last four lines. And in the book, you kind of get the feeling that she didn't think this was a good last four lines to end on, or she really is setting up that it's a cliffhanger and that they need to do more episodes.

[Joe Feldman]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Damanges]

And the last four lines, aren't they like, hey, Mom, I'm pregnant?

[Joe Feldman]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yeah. What did you think when that show came out, when that's how it ended? Like, what was your take on the last four lines of the show?

[Joe Feldman]

I thought it was interesting because they had said Amy Sherman Palladino had already known what they were gonna be. So I wondered, like, in her mind, when the show was ending, how old Rory was supposed to be. And, like. And even. And like, Lauren says, like, she could appreciate the full circleness of it in that, like, we're starting again, we're ending with a pregnancy, but also Like, Rory now in Day in the Life is, I think, like, in her 30s. And it's unclear who the father is, which is sort of like.

[Chelsea Damanges]

But in the book.

[Joe Feldman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chelsea Damanges]

She says it's extremely clear, and there should have never been a question of who it was.

[Joe Feldman]

I don't think it's extremely clear.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Okay. I was gonna. I was asking you because you're the Gilmore Girls expert, but. Sorry. In the book, she said it was Logan. So she was like, it was obviously Logan. Like, why did people even have to ask, like, of course.

[Joe Feldman]

Well, I think it's not obvious that it's Logan because in Day in the Life, you see Rory have a one night stand in New York and also has a boyfriend.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. I mean, I'm reading, like, according to Amy Sherman Palladino, the answer to the question about the child's father is not as important as the circumstances that led to the situation. In an interview, they said, it's not important who the father is. The circumstances were important.

[Joe Feldman]

Spoken like someone who knows exactly who their father is. It doesn't matter. It won't shape anything. It doesn't matter.

[Chelsea Damanges]

It's the circumstances. But I do think that is a very full circle ending given, you know, the whole show setup is like her circumstances with having, you know, Rory. Yeah. So another thing, one tiny little detail is she's like, we used to go to our neighborhood haunts, the Smokehouse, which.

[Joe Feldman]

You took me to for my first time.

[Chelsea Damanges]

I did. Because why? It has a bread they serve you that has the macaroni and cheese crumbles from the Kraft Macaroni and Cheese box. That powder, they, like, put it on top of the.

[Joe Feldman]

I couldn't dream up a more perfect snack for you knew if I tried. When you were like, you gotta try this bread, I was like, okay. And then I saw it and I was like, huh? Okay, okay.

[Chelsea Damanges]

No. Any, like, adult in my life who's not Lauren Graham is like, this is disgusting and not worth it. And I'm like, you gotta have the cheesy bread in a Cosmo. And then I. Honestly, for dinner, sometimes I get a baked potato because I've had so much bread.

[Joe Feldman]

I love those.

[Chelsea Damanges]

I love their bacon. A second carb.

[Joe Feldman]

I think. I think that's what we did. I think we had Caesar salads and.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Bread, baked potatoes and cheese. That's right. And then finally she talks about Carol King. And Paladino had to ask special permission from Carol King to use that song. I love that. And Carol initially said, no. And I don't perform that song anymore because it's about a woman following a man. So I love that. And then Amy Sherman Palladino is like, yes, but this is a show about a mother and a daughter. And then Carol re records the song with her daughter doing it as a.

[Joe Feldman]

Duel, which is so cool. And Carole King. I loved that Carole King was on the show for years. She played Sophie, who owned the music shop, which was, like, such a cool. I mean, there was always really cool stunt casting on the show. And then I remember thinking during Year in the Life, there was odd stunt casting throughout it. And then now reading the memoir, I'm like, oh, and every single person Lauren Graham has ever been in contact with got a part on this show.

[Chelsea Damanges]

That's true. And she was like, yeah, if I knew you, I put you in the show.

[Joe Feldman]

Yeah, I like. I liked how honest she was about it.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yeah. Oh, my God. We didn't even circle back to Peter Krause. Well, because he's not really in the story. You're. Well, what happened was they met at that awards show, and then years later, they're cast in Parenthood as brother and sister. And then they. She just skips, and she's like, now we're dating. At the time of writing the book, they've still been together. And they were together for 12 years.

[Joe Feldman]

Years.

[Chelsea Damanges]

And after 12 years, so by the time I'm reading this book, they've split up. But in the book, they are together, though. What do we know about Peter? He likes rei. That's all I know.

[Joe Feldman]

All we know about him is that he's Midwestern.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yeah. She did not give an inch on that relationship. She said she didn't like to talk about dating. She didn't like to talk about him. She used to lie in interviews. And then also people would ask them all the time. Like, she doesn't put this in the book. I read this elsewhere. Like, why aren't you married? Are you guys gonna get married? And she's like, I don't like that question. Like, we're good as.

[Joe Feldman]

It's interesting, too, because she's like, there. She tells an anecdote at one point about how fun it is to have a person that, like, he's her person. And right now she drives in a car that, like, has a bunch of sports equipment and golf balls. And, like, there would be a time in her life where she would have called girlfriends to be like, what does it mean? He left a golf ball in my car. But, like, doesn't really follow the thought. Like, does that Mean, he likes me. Like. Like, she follows the thought to, like, should I call him to let him know he left it?

[Chelsea Damanges]

Like, it was.

[Joe Feldman]

Was just odd.

[Chelsea Damanges]

But now it's there all the time. She doesn't have to. I mean, she does not talk about relationships in such an intense way. Which is where I have one final question for you, Joe, before the book D test.

[Joe Feldman]

Okay.

[Chelsea Damanges]

And this is the biggest takeaway I have from the book. And it's something that is not in the book at all. You lightly mentioned it. Where's her mom?

[Joe Feldman]

Where is her mom?

[Chelsea Damanges]

Her dad's at every of it.

[Joe Feldman]

She loves him.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Her dad's her date.

[Joe Feldman]

She taught. Her dad is her style icon. Her dad. Dad is. She talks about her dad a lot.

[Chelsea Damanges]

He's her. Yeah. Her mom gone. And it was decided when her parents split up that she would stay with her dad, which I also think goes against a stereotype or like a common stat. And I don't even. I don't know if she ever visited her mom. I don't know if her mom's proud of her. She thinks her mom in the acknowledgments.

[Joe Feldman]

She does.

[Chelsea Damanges]

But, like, where is her mom? And to that I will Freudian tie my little bow between, like, she doesn't like talk, doesn't like to share. Won't talk about relationships. Won't talk about childhood, won't really talk about anything. And. And the amount her mom is missing, I think is like the bat signal.

[Joe Feldman]

And it's very interesting considering she is famous for being the mom we all want to be.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yeah, that's really, really, really fascinating. Wow, Joe, incredibly well said. Okay, time for the booktool test.

[Joe Feldman]

Great.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Three questions. We both answer all of them. First question, was the author vulnerable and the sharing of her truth. No. Coffee. Coffee. Eck. No, she wasn't. That's my impression of myself and Lauren. Okay, second question. Was it entertaining to read?

[Joe Feldman]

As a devoted fan of Gilmore Girls?

[Ad Host]

No.

[Joe Feldman]

I was speeding through this book looking for anything about the show I love so dearly. Like a Mad Woman. And honestly, the only. Actually, the one anecdote that we didn't touch on that I loved was about Carole King doing a private performance for everyone at the end of the year in the life. And how emotional as she seemed to be, how emotional Lauren was during A Year in the Life, she just kept saying she couldn't stop crying. But, like, would it really dig into why?

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yeah, I also. This was my little television tie in, which is that on our Lilith Fair episode, I talked about how all of these indie female folk singer, soft rock artists had written all these songs that were the 90s and early 2000s sitcom anthems. What started the show. Yes. So iconic. And Carole King is another one of these stars songs. And tying this into like the type of television we're missing and not really allowed to write right now because I think of, I don't know, the fear in the studios or whatever's happening is like a show that a song like that opening, it would make sense and go well with the show and be iconic. Those types of songs, we don't see them on shows right now because we're again, not allowing shows to be like character, relationship, emotion based shows. And yet those are the ones we're rewatching on Netflix.

[Joe Feldman]

All because they make us feel so good.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Because they make you feel. And so I'm really, I'm really like putting my, like, I don't know, manifestation, whatever out to get a show, to write a show, something to. To be able to watch a show that has like Gilmore Girls again. You know, the song, the feelings, the.

[Joe Feldman]

Relationship, the community, like Gilmore Girl, where you're like, oh, community is everything. Like Gilbert. Yes.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Yes. Okay, and final question. Did reading this book elevate your life in any way?

[Joe Feldman]

No. Did it elevate your life?

[Chelsea Damanges]

No. And I'm gonna read this to help explain why I'm gonna read this paragraph.

[Ad Host]

Okay.

[Chelsea Damanges]

This is her talking about filming Gilmore Girls the first time around. The first seven scenes to an exceptional degree, there was thought and care put into our well being. The catering was excellent. Some days we had a vegan chef, on other days, Hawaiian pokey bar. There was a smoothie station and freshly baked cookies every day at lunch. Once in a while we have an In N Out truck. Awesome burgers, Kogi truck, Roy Cho's tasty Korean fusion tacos, or Van Leeuwin artisanal ice cream cart. As a special treat, there was a costume parade on Halloween, carol singers at Christmas, and on our last day of the year, a mariachi band during lunch to send us off. Now, Joe Feldman, we both work in television. You're currently on the lot. Yeah, as we speak. Did that sound like anything you've ever experienced before in your television career?

[Joe Feldman]

No.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Television has changed. And listen, like, I'm not sure TV was ever supposed to be like, you know, the writers and friends, like, doing cocaine and owning mansions for like five hours of work every day. But I do think we're in a particularly dark time of valuing the arts, which again, I don't need a Hawaiian poke bowl. I just want the creamer to be free.

[Joe Feldman]

I'd like oat milk. I'd like oat milk. And I think, like, even for all intents and purposes, that the. And she talks about having an incredible time also on Parenthood, and I think for how much she had these great times shooting these shows, they all still got the same Hollywood treatment, which was they got canceled. They didn't get answered. They got screwed around when it was coming back. Like, they. The. Her showrunners and creators got negotiated out of their contracts, like, still definitely went down.

[Chelsea Damanges]

And. And thems were the good times.

[Joe Feldman]

And those were the best. And those were the best of times.

[Chelsea Damanges]

And so you need to make sure the art you're creating right now with your friends and your computer on your Reddit thread, wherever you are, that that has, like, good community and good times and good joy and fun, and that you're really making the most of those artistic moments where they live because. Because the giant cocaine pool in the sky has dried up.

[Joe Feldman]

It's. Matthew Perry. Took it all with him.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Joe Feldman.

[Joe Feldman]

Too much, Too far.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Okay, wait. Also, what do you want, people?

[Joe Feldman]

I want to say one more thing, please. In the bonus chapter, she talks about the podcast Gilmore Guys. And I just want to say I was on that podcast.

[Chelsea Damanges]

And I also want to say that it. That is in every episode. We do. You. You do let people know that you run the Gilmore Guys podcast, and it's important.

[Joe Feldman]

No, it's literally. It's all I have. It's my currency.

[Chelsea Damanges]

You also have this podcast, but. Okay, I see what you're saying. But, like, okay, no, great podcast. That was. I remember that was huge. You did a live show. And I also want to say something else. If this episode left you wanting more, or in particular, the diet stuff got to you. Joe Feldman recorded one of my favorite episodes of all time. Really debunking and going through a lot of diet culture, especially around the holidays. And that was the Carney Wilson memoir that we both read two years ago. I'm not sure what it's time. We will link it in the notes, but if you need a great episode to listen to, even if you're like, wait, Carney Wilson? I don't. Trust me, that episode's amazing.

[Joe Feldman]

That's a good point. It is that time of year where people are gonna be looking at your plate and rolling their eyes. Don't let them.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Don't you let them.

[Joe Feldman]

Let them.

[Chelsea Damanges]

Okay. Love you, Joe. Love you, everyone. She doesn't want you to go to her instagram she's private but do go listen to that episode. And Joe will be back more monthly. We're gonna be talking and chatting a lot more going forward.

[Joe Feldman]

Love you guys.

[Chelsea Damanges]

A big thank you to our senior Managing producer Christina Lopez, our Executive producer Jordan Montada, our sounds engineer Marcus Hamm, and our amazing Associate producer Jaron Padre. I also want to give a huge thank you to our incredible partners over at Thrive Cosmetics and every plate we will link to those brands in the show notes. Go check them out. Everything else we discussed is also linked in the show notes. And if you have questions, thoughts, comments, go to the Patreon sign up. There's a free tier you can join, Leave a comment chat with your fellow cookies. We will keep the book club continuing over there. Hey, Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. You know, one of the perks about having four kids that you know about is actually getting a direct line to to the big man up north. And this year he wants you to know the best gift that you can give someone is the gift of Mint Mobile's unlimited wireless for $15 a month. Now you don't even need to wrap it. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment.

[Joe Feldman]

Of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required new customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow after 35 gigabytes if network's busy. Taxes and fees extra. See mintmobile.com.