Glamorous Trash Podcast: "Viral Article Book Club – Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing?"

Host: Chelsea Devantez
Guest: Takara Elise
Date: November 14, 2025

Episode Overview

In this lively episode, host Chelsea Devantez and returning guest Takara Elise deep-dive into the viral British Vogue article “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” by Chantae Joseph. They explore societal and cultural shifts in how women, especially straight women, portray romantic relationships online. The discussion covers performative coupledom, the backlash against centering a man's presence in a woman's narrative, the role of social media, and what it all says about modern romance, gender politics, and self-worth.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The “Boyfriend is Cringe” Cultural Phenomenon

• Context: The episode revolves around the viral British Vogue article questioning whether having a boyfriend is now considered embarrassing for women, especially in digital and social spaces (01:05).
• Social Media Shifts: Chelsea and Takara reflect on changes from open, “hard launches” of romantic partners to “soft launches” and cropping or blurring partners’ faces in posts (03:00–04:30).
  • Quote: “More recently... straight women are opting for subtler signs... faces blurred out of wedding pictures.” – Chelsea (03:00)
  • Both recall friends cropping husbands out of wedding photos, confirming the article’s claim.
• Takara’s Take: She frames the article as a “diabolical” and “genius” look at how the start of cuffing season is now marked by “no stew, no partner, no man” (04:45).

2. Why the Shift?

• Decentralizing Men in Female Identity: Chelsea lauds the movement toward making a partner the “least interesting thing about you” (07:16).
  • Quote: “Decentralizing a man is valuable... Having a boyfriend should be the least interesting thing about you.” – Chelsea (07:16)
• Wife Guy Paradox: The hosts examine how men who center women (“wife guys”) are viewed as “sus” or inauthentic, suggesting a double standard but ultimately pointing out that making a partner the core of one’s identity is problematic for either gender (08:19–08:41).

3. The Hard Launch vs. Soft Launch Debate

• Takara’s Critique: She finds cropping out significant others from key life events (like wedding photos) “weird.” They agree privacy is valid, but incomplete depictions can seem suspect or unnecessarily coy (09:08–10:13).
  • Quote: “Either we’re going for privacy or you’re going to tell a complete story.” – Takara (09:52)

4. The Contradiction of Public Desire for Romance

• Romance is Still in Demand: The hosts point out the paradox that although many women are less inclined to broadcast their relationships, the hunger for romance novels, rom-coms, and fictional love stories has never been higher (10:43–11:30).
• Balancing Privacy and Performance: There’s an ongoing tension between the yearning for love and public skepticism or disappointment about men and relationships.

5. Gen Z, Social Media, and Modern Partnership

• Generational Outlooks: Younger women see the downsides of traditional partnership, with social media amplifying stories of relationship disappointment and the benefits of singlehood (12:59–13:20).
  • Quote: “We are seeing women who are getting divorced... because the husband of 25 years ate the last piece of cake.” – Takara (12:59)
• Increased Agency: The hosts note that women who take time to find partners aligning with their needs are happier, while those who “just want someone” often suffer—a key factor in why some lament having boyfriends as embarrassing (13:21–14:12).

6. Romance as Women’s Main Cultural Narrative

• Rom-Coms and Representation: Chelsea observes that the dominance of romance as a women-centered genre results in her own attachment to romantic storylines, but questions whether it’s truly progressive (16:16–17:06).
  • Quote: “Is it the only genre that stars women and they usually get to be funny and always end up happy?” – Chelsea (16:47)

7. Men’s Role (or Lack Thereof) in the Conversation

• Where’s the Advice for Men?: Instead of advice for men, most cultural scrutiny and improvement-focused discourse still targets women, reinforcing the burden on women to navigate the expectations of partnership (17:14–18:44).

8. The Online Performance of Coupledom

• Content vs. Authenticity: Both guests note that blurring or cropping partners may ultimately just be another way of performance, maintaining “girlfriend” as a primary identity, even while pretending to reject it (19:34–22:10).
  • Quote: “Gotta get the content.” – Takara (20:44)
• Soft Launch as Pretend-Apathy: Chelsea dislikes the “soft launch” trend, seeing it as an elaborate way to show you care, while pretending not to care (23:12–24:03).

9. “Don’t Make Your Boyfriend the Box”

• Improv Analogy: Chelsea compares hiding a boyfriend’s face to a bad improv scene—by building him up as a “mystery,” you're inviting disappointment; better to be upfront or simply private (24:03–24:51).
  • Quote: “Do not make your boyfriend the box.” – Chelsea (24:48)

10. Case Study: Taylor Swift, Megan Thee Stallion, & the ‘Boyfriend Backlash’

• Public Backlash: They discuss Taylor Swift and Megan Thee Stallion centering boyfriends in new work, and how fans reacted negatively—“booing” love-centered subject matter (25:27–26:03).
  • Quote: “Half an album from Taylor Swift that’s about Travis Kelce... her own fans were like, boo, we hate this...” – Chelsea (25:32–25:41)

11. Relationship Politics & Value

• Women Judged by Partners’ Flaws: Women are harshly judged for their partners’ perceived inadequacies; it’s a one-way street not often experienced by men (28:29–29:20).
• The Social Value of Being Chosen: There is still “clout” for being seen as wanted, even if not overtly celebrated on social media (29:46–30:13).
  • Quote: “Wanting to make sure that people know that they’re in that lane of being chosen...” – Takara (21:42)

12. Hosts’ Personal Approaches

• Why Takara Hides Her Partner (and Kids) Online: She used to post her partner often but stopped when others began to focus on him instead of her achievements (30:15–30:47).
  • Quote: “People would be like, where’s so and so? And I’d be like, the hell?” – Takara (30:46)
• Chelsea’s Anecdote: Losing Ownership of Her Work: Chelsea shares how credit for her creative event was repeatedly given to her husband—highlighting how women’s accomplishments are reattributed to men, even unintentionally (31:08–32:46).
  • Quote: “They’ll always think... anything good I ever did in life, he... he recorded this podcast today.” – Chelsea (32:44)

13. Social Media & Love: The Bottom Line

• It’s About the Logistics of Love Online: Both agree the article isn’t so much an indictment of romantic partnership as it is an exploration of how to navigate it in a performative social media age (34:25).
  • Takara: “This article... is about the logistics of being in love and being partnered online and whether or not you should choose to claim somebody online.” (34:25)

14. Celebrating Love (and Singlehood)

• Allowing for Both: Takara and Chelsea both love seeing authentic celebration of love online when it’s genuine and not forced for clout (34:26–35:56).
• Valuing Single Women: The biggest takeaway, and what “went viral,” is the celebration of women’s value outside of a romantic relationship—the “glamorous single life” as a new ideal (38:46–39:29).
  • Quote: “Women rejoicing as being like, valuable and wonderful and amazing, regardless of relationship status, has nothing to do with men... women have value alone.” – Chelsea (39:47–40:12)

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On the shift in online romance:
  • “You do see it all the time still. It’s just... not the norm anymore.” – Chelsea (06:05)
  • “I’m more used to the soft launch these days.” – Takara (06:48)
• On women's social value:
  • “The issue is thinking in this dowry mindset... my value has increased because of this.” – Takara (10:13)
• On men’s self-definition through women:
  • “When we see a wife guy, we go ‘ew!’” – Chelsea (08:20)
• On authenticity vs. performance:
  • “You’re edging the people who follow you on what his face is gonna look like.” – Chelsea (09:10)
• On reframing narrative:
  • “Having a glamorous single life, that is the TV show I want to watch.” – Chelsea (38:46)
• On women’s agency:
  • “You have the right to choose to be excited about your man, but also... happy in your single-dom.” – Takara (37:42)
• On public/private boundaries:
  • “If you claim him, if you acknowledge that you have a boyfriend... your boyfriend will take over your life whether you want him to or not.” – Chelsea (33:35)

Important Timestamps

• 01:05 – Intro to the viral article and its online explosion.
• 03:00 – Explanation of the “boyfriend cringe” phenomenon, soft vs. hard launch.
• 06:05 – Discussion of shifting social media norms.
• 09:08 – Debate on cropping partners out of photos.
• 11:30 – Contradiction: growing demand for romance stories versus new “cringe” status.
• 17:06 – Why men aren’t asked to improve for romance.
• 23:12 – On “soft launch” and performative apathy.
• 24:48 – Chelsea’s “don’t make your boyfriend the box” improv analogy.
• 25:27 – Pop culture examples: Taylor Swift and Meg Thee Stallion’s “boyfriend albums.”
• 30:15 – Takara’s personal policy on posting her partner.
• 31:08 – Chelsea recounts losing creative credit to her husband.
• 34:25 – The true subject: Navigating partnered life on social media.
• 38:46 – Celebrating glamorous singlehood.
• 39:47 – Affirming women’s value irrespective of men.

Conclusion & Takeaways

This episode is a vibrant, nuanced conversation about the intersection of gender, social media, and modern romance, offering both critique and celebration. It recognizes society’s slow movement away from valuing women mainly for their attachment to a man, while acknowledging the persistent desire for love stories, real and fictional alike. Chelsea and Takara both champion the idea that women’s worth isn’t contingent on romantic status—and suggest the real “glamorous trash” is the freedom to define your own narrative, both online and off.

Follow Takara Elise: @takaraelise or check out “Takara's Library” for kids’ book recaps.

Join the discourse: Chelsea encourages listeners to share thoughts and continue the book club conversation on Patreon.

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