Jim Gaffigan on His Bourbon Stand‑Up Comedy Special, Parenting Teenagers

Summary

Glass Half Full with Craig Melvin: Jim Gaffigan on His Bourbon Stand-Up Comedy Special, Parenting Teenagers

Date: March 24, 2026
Host: Craig Melvin
Guest: Jim Gaffigan

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Episode Overview

In this warm, candid, and frequently hilarious episode of Glass Half Full, Craig Melvin welcomes comedian Jim Gaffigan to his "basement bar" for a spirited (literally and figuratively) conversation about their mutual love of bourbon, the adventure of raising teenagers, finding meaning in unlikely places, and how setbacks have shaped them. The episode dives into Jim’s unique journey in comedy, his new bourbon-focused comedy special, the trials and gifts of parenting five children, and the lasting impact of personal loss. The discussion is equal parts thoughtful reflection and stand-up worthy riffing, with Gaffigan's signature wit and self-deprecating charm at the fore.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Toast & Bourbon Obsession

[02:16–03:16]

• The show opens with Craig and Jim “toasting” to Jim’s latest comedy project: a bourbon-centered special, Jim Gaffigan Live at Old Forest – The Bourbon Set.
• Jim acknowledges their shared “bourbon nerd” status, describing his new material as a deep dive into the quirks and joys of bourbon appreciation.

Notable Quote:

“That’s a toast to that.”
—Jim Gaffigan, [02:54]

Career Trajectory & Defining Moments

[03:16–07:48]

• Jim discusses early-career jealousy and managing ambition, and a pivotal realization in therapy that chasing others’ definitions of success is “insanity.”
• After losing his mother at 22, Jim left a secure advertising job to pursue comedy; this loss was a turning point that underscored the importance of chasing passion and creating meaning.
• Both Craig and Jim reflect on scraping by early in their careers, enduring doubts from others, and the courage it takes to ignore conventional paths.

Notable Quotes:

“Success is…getting caught up in other people’s idea of success is insanity. It will cause insanity.”
—Jim Gaffigan, [04:32]

“When I focused on that [gratitude for passion], then things started happening.”
—Jim Gaffigan, [05:16]

Clean Comedy & Finding His Voice

[08:45–11:37]

• Craig asks about Jim’s “clean comic” reputation; Jim reveals he started out differently, with profanity and cigarettes onstage as he attempted to match edgy NYC comedy of the early 90s.
• Jim describes the process of finding his true comedic point of view—how most comics “try on” personalities before usually returning to their own authentic voice.
• He touches on the challenges of standing out as a “slow-talking Midwesterner” in a combative NYC scene.

Notable Quotes:

“I had to be edgy. And it was…it didn’t make sense at all.”
—Jim Gaffigan, [10:34]

Parenting: Comedy, Chaos, and Material

[13:02–15:42]

• Jim credits his wife (eldest of nine siblings) for wanting a big family, joking that after child four or five: “What are we doing?”
• He reflects on how life’s complications—especially parenting—fuel his comedy.
• He is conscious of balancing “parental failure” jokes with other material, especially bourbon, which he feels is niche and not for every audience.

Notable Quotes:

“When life is difficult or complicated, it presents an opportunity. My children torture me—in a way, they’re providing material.”
—Jim Gaffigan, [14:17]

The Five Stages of Bourbon Obsession

[16:14–18:32]

• Jim humorously maps out the “five stages” of bourbon fandom—from first discovery, experimentation, collecting, to hiding purchases and sleeping in your car to get a rare bottle.
• Craig compares bourbon collecting to an “innocent” hobby, nudging his wife that “at least you know where I am!”

Notable Quotes:

“The fourth phase is you’re sleeping in your car, you’re lying to your wife…But she realizes she’d rather have be with a guy who’s obsessed with bourbon than having an affair.”
—Jim Gaffigan, [18:13]

Parenting Teenagers

[19:28–21:41]

• Jim’s five kids are ages 13–21; he calls himself “the enforcer” in the house (“the police officer”).
• Humor is a core family value: if a child is disrespectful but funny, it softens parental discipline.
• Both discuss the paradox of parenting: frustration blended with pride in their kids’ quick wit.

Notable Quotes:

“If they’re disrespectful, or they’re rude, but they’re funny about it, I’m like…all right…that’s where I have no principles.”
—Jim Gaffigan, [20:26]

“The Shot” and Lifestyle Changes

[22:20–24:15]

• Jim reveals he’s still taking a weight-loss “shot” (GLP-1 agonist) and jokes his goal is to “eat like a human, as opposed to a dog.”
• He describes his old binge-eating habits, saying the medication helped him moderate without erasing appetite entirely.

Notable Quotes:

“It would just make me consume like a human as opposed to a dog. For me, it makes me behave like a human, which is amazing.”
—Jim Gaffigan, [23:12]

Facing Family Health Crises

[25:55–27:56]

• Craig asks about Jim’s relationship with his wife Jeannie, and the trauma of her pear-sized brain tumor.
• Jim talks openly about emotionally preparing for loss, considering stepping away from comedy to be a solo parent, and finding meaning in being a caretaker.
• He reflects on the “gift” of being able to show up for his wife and family during hardship.

Notable Quotes:

“The great gift was that it gave me an opportunity to show up and be this caretaker…an opportunity for you to walk the walk.”
—Jim Gaffigan, [27:06]

Rapid Fire: Rituals, Favorites, and Parental Wisdom

[28:14–34:37]

• Pre-show ritual: Coffee and combing through notes for new material.
  (“I’m always seeing if I can find one line that add to a show.” —[28:28])
• If he had to eat one food for life: “Cheeseburgers.”
• On having a favorite child: Jim dodges (“my inner child!”), jokes about keeping his kids out of therapy, and references a grandmother who ranks grandkids as a behavioral motivator.
• Reflects on past moments of wanting to give up—like being humiliated at Dangerfield’s Club, paying a heckler’s bill ([30:14–31:02]).
• Hopes to be remembered for hard work and raising non-monster children.
• Describes himself as “glass half full, but…I’m gonna have to work hard to fill the rest of the glass.”
• Discusses how every aspect of his career, and even parenthood, has been an uphill journey—but one he’s “grateful for everything that has happened.”
• Closes with a joke about parents deserving “a teenage crazy credit” on taxes and likens raising teenagers to surviving mental illness in the family.

Notable Quotes:

“I would say glass half full, but also somebody who’s like I’m going to have to work hard to fill the rest of the glass.”
—Jim Gaffigan, [32:00]

“Parents of teenagers should get a teenage crazy credit…If they’re teenagers, [they] are essentially mentally ill people.”
—Jim Gaffigan, [33:32]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Comedy & Success:
  “Getting caught up in other people’s idea of success is insanity. It will cause insanity.”
  —Jim Gaffigan, [04:32]

• On the Gift of Passion:
  “When I focused on that [gratitude for passion], then things started happening.”
  —Jim Gaffigan, [05:16]

• On Finding His Voice:
  “I got into standup and I was this super white-bred guy…People would look at me like John Tesh…they were used to early 90s comedy in New York City being combat…”
  —Jim Gaffigan, [09:17–10:37]

• On Parenting with Humor:
  “If they’re disrespectful, or they’re rude, but they’re funny about it, I’m like…all right…”
  —Jim Gaffigan, [20:26]

• On Life’s Harder Path:
  “I feel like in life, I’ve always unintentionally taken the harder path. Like, even having five kids, like, that’s dumb.”
  —Jim Gaffigan, [33:01]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:16] — Opening Toast / Introduction to the Bourbon Comedy Special
• [03:16–05:38] — Defining Moments & Therapy Realizations
• [08:45–11:37] — Clean Comedy & Discovering His True Comic Self
• [13:02–15:42] — Parenting, Big Families, and the Source of Material
• [16:14–18:32] — The Five Stages of Bourbon Obsession
• [19:28–21:41] — Are Jim’s Kids Funny? Parenting Teenagers
• [22:20–24:15] — The “Shot” and Eating Habits
• [25:55–27:56] — Facing Family Illness, Caretaking Jeannie
• [28:14–34:37] — Rapid Fire on Rituals, Favorites, Parenting Wisdom, Career Grind
• [33:17–34:37] — Teenage Years: “Mentally ill people,” Tax Credit Joke
• [34:43–34:54] — Final Toast and Closing

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Episode Tone

The tone is a blend of heartfelt sincerity and sharp comedy, mirroring both host and guest's “glass half full” outlook. Gaffigan’s self-effacing humor is ever-present, especially in recounting struggles as a parent and comic, balancing sincerity with punchlines even in the show’s most serious moments.

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Conclusion

For fans of Jim Gaffigan or anyone wrestling with ambition, parenthood, or what makes life meaningful, this episode offers both laughs and wisdom. Craig and Jim’s rapport brings out honest, rarely-heard stories, from bourbon-fueled mania to family heartbreak and redemption. Gaffigan’s reflections remind us that the moments “when it doesn’t go as planned” are often what make us—and keep our glass half full.

Transcript

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[Jim Gaffigan]

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[Craig Melvin]

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[Craig Melvin]

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[Jim Gaffigan]

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[Craig Melvin]

Hey there, everyone. Craig Melvin here. Welcome to my basement bar and my show, Glass Half Full. This is where we really dig into the moments and the milestones that shape people's lives, that sometimes transform their lives. And our guest today is a guy named Jim Gaffigan. You know Jim, he's been making us laugh for decades now. He's got, like, about a dozen standup specials. He's got a new YouTube series on basically just bourbon, because, like myself, Jim Gaffigan loves bourbon. Jim Gaffigan also loves all five of his children, although during the course of our conversation, you might not think so. We talk about kids, we talk about parenting. We talk about our love of. Of bourbon. Let me talk about life and loss as well. I hope you enjoy our conversation. So, I mean, Jim, you've. You have been making us laugh for decades. And I also found out a while back that you, sir, also appreciate the brown nectar of the gods as well. You're a bourbon guy.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yes, I am.

[Craig Melvin]

We like to start each episode of Glass Half Full with. With a toast. So what is one thing from your life or one thing on the horizon that Jim Gaffigan would like to toast?

[Jim Gaffigan]

Oh, my gosh. Well, I would like to toast since we are drinking the brown nectar. Crazy project that I have, which is called the Bourbon Set. It's Jim Gaffigan Live at Old Forest, or the Bourbon Set, where I talk a lot about bourbon and bourbon nerds like the two of us. So that's a toast to that.

[Craig Melvin]

Cheers. Cheers. We like to spend part of the show focusing on the moments that made us. Is there a moment that Jim Gaffigan can look back to and say, you know what? That was? When the trajectory all changed.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah. I would say there was a point in my standup career, and this sounds kind of cute and kind of. But there was a moment where I came to the realization. Or I. Where I was like, okay, because I was, you know, jealousy and ambition, which anyone who has any level of success has struggled with. Jealousy and managing ambition. It's very honest, you know, I was very driven. Like, I would say that after I'd been doing stand up six months, I was like, okay, you know, why am I not on this? And, I mean, I probably didn't say it verbally, but, like, I thought it. Yeah, there was a good six, seven years in where it was. And seeing all my friends, you know, really surpass me and. And achieve great things. And I. You know, I was. Part of me was happy for them. Part of me was like, there's no justice in this world.

[Craig Melvin]

You know, I'm funnier than that guy.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Well, not so much that, but, like, where's my piece of the pie? You know what I mean? And. Which would come out as jealousy. And there. There came a moment where I was in therapy and I was. I had to come to a realization that success is, you know, getting caught up in other people's idea of success is insanity will cause insanity. So I had to sit there and realize, okay, maybe I'll never be on a late night talk show. Maybe I'll. I'll be, you know, this. This weird uncle that lives in downtown Manhattan in a dirty apartment. And so that moment where I was like, all right, you know, maybe I'm not going to be a success, but I'm so grateful that I found a passion that I can explore. Like, I was so grateful for that, that when I focused on that, then things started happening.

[Craig Melvin]

Yeah. When you reminded yourself why you got into it and you stopped chasing other people's definition of success, then you just.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah. Then it's. You know, it's. And some of it's always been slow and steady for me. Like, there's never. And I'm also, like, aware that I'm not the type of guy that would be on the COVID of Rolling Stone. You know what I mean? It's like. Cause I'm too sexy, Craig. I'm way too sexy.

[Craig Melvin]

It's true. I always say.

[Jim Gaffigan]

And at this point, I'm too young.

[Craig Melvin]

That's true, that's true. You're exactly right. I'd forgotten about both of those things. I'm surprised the moment that you didn't cite was that time you got fired while you were napping.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Well, you know what I was also thinking of saying, which is a little bit rather really sincere, is I was this child of the 80s who we were raised to seek security. My parents had lived through boom and bust all over, and my dad's success was wearing a tie. So when my mother died when I was 22 and I was working in New York in advertising, there is something about that moment where I was so kind of lost and unfulfilled. And that's not to say that, I mean, I hated my job, but I also hated waking up in the morning. And so I was trying to find something that I was fulfilling, fulfilled at. And, and so like, yeah, I mean, that my mother dying was a big watershed moment where I was like, oh, I, we don't know how long we're here and you gotta go for what you want. And you know, I had to deal with people that I went to college with, like being like, what are you doing? You're, you're, you're, you're pursuing standup. That's interesting. Like, people looking at you like you're mentally ill.

[Craig Melvin]

But I, it's funny, I dealt with the same thing. It's when you, when you start out in journalism, you know, I was living with my parents for six months. I moved out of my parents house to move into my grandma's house because she just died. And they would let me live there for free. I would steal toilet paper from them when they were at work and like go home between shows and, and eat their food because I couldn't afford my own. And my friends at the time, a lot of them were like, dude, like, what are you doing? Like, you're, you're covering car wrecks and house fires and, and burglaries, like caught on surveillance.

[Jim Gaffigan]

But some of that, I guess to pat ourselves on the back is taking that bravery, right? To sit there and go, this could be, that this could turn us into like, did you hear what happened to Craig? I mean, you know, he was so promising. And then I saw him. It's sad.

[Craig Melvin]

One of the things I've always enjoyed about your style of, of comedy, you've heard this before. You know, people call you a clean comic. You don't use profanity as a crutch. Has that always been the case. Have you always been that kind of comic?

[Jim Gaffigan]

Well, there is footage of me in the early 90s which I have somewhere where not only am I cursing, I'm smoking a cigarette on stage.

[Craig Melvin]

Jim Gaffigan.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yes. It's like. And I was doing like a five minute set, right? And so to answer your question, I was. Some of the process of discovering your point of view, your comedic point of view is new comics, and it's changed. I don't know if this is the case anymore, but people would try on different personalities, and the reality is 90% or 99% of comedians end up with their personality, but usually meeting their. What made them funny and what made their friends say, hey, you should do standup. And so, but like, I got into standup and I was this super white bred guy in. And at that point, I think New York in the early 90s was. It was a different place. You know, like now there's, you know, but like, I would get on stage when people would be like this. This blonde guy, you know, like there was. I know that sounds like there are people that are struggling with much different. I had to deal with being blonde. No, but like, you know, I would go on stage and there wasn't this. People would look at me like John Tesh. They're like, who is. Who's. What are we in the middle of a presentation from the regional vice president? You know what I mean? Like, they were used to early 90s comedy in New York City was very kind of combat. And I'm this slow talking Midwesterner, so it didn't necessarily line up. That's not to say that there weren't, but it's how it felt to me. And so I thought that I had to change myself. I had to be edgy. I had to. And it was. It didn't make sense at all. You know what I mean? And so there's. And I think that it used to be the case. I don't know if it's true anymore, but it used to be that comedians had to spend time getting their. What made them funny. Figuring out how to do that on a larger platform, meaning in front of a crowd of people they didn't know. Like, some comedians typically can be funny one on one or with their friends, but it's like getting funny in front of strangers is a different, you know,

[Craig Melvin]

deal more to come with Jim Gaffigan. Stay with us. Calling all sightseers and selfie takers, welcome to Texas, where a day at our hiking trails will lead to a lifetime of memories. And family road trips become family legends where thrill seekers make a splash into spring fed pools and picky eaters will clean their plates. This is your invitation to visit Texas and see it for yourself. Visit traveltexas.com and plan your family's trip today.

[Commercial Narrator]

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[Jim Gaffigan]

Pandora this is the exclusive table with the view. This is your name on the list.

[Craig Melvin]

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[Jim Gaffigan]

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[Craig Melvin]

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[Jim Gaffigan]

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[Craig Melvin]

You're the youngest of six. Is that, is that how you ended up having five children of your own?

[Jim Gaffigan]

You know, I mean I was, I was late to the game too. The parenting thing, I think it really. My wife is one of nine and.

[Craig Melvin]

One of nine.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah, she's the oldest of nine.

[Craig Melvin]

Are they Mormon or are they.

[Jim Gaffigan]

No, just Catholic.

[Craig Melvin]

But like, but like old school.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Catholic, old school but also just, you know, and some of it is like now I can see it's like her mother, who's a saint, decided to have all these kids. Not logical. And then I marry this woman who keeps sitting there going, I want to have another baby. Or we're, you know, I'm pregnant and I'm like, okay. I mean around the fourth or fifth, I was like, what are we doing? You know what I mean? Like, and so, but again, that's where these, there is something strange as a comedian or a writer where when life is difficult or complicated, it presents an opportunity. So in other words, my children, my wife points this out to me. It's like the way my children torture me in a way. They're providing material. Do you know what I mean?

[Craig Melvin]

That's fair. That's a valid point.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I also, when I do shows, I always, there's a lot of different types of people in my audience. So I always, when I was chronicling the different stages of parental failure that I'm experiencing I only do that for a portion in my show, which is also why I'm doing this set just on bourbon. You know, I'm always touring, but, like, when I was developing all this bourbon and whiskey material, there's a certain responsibility in the show. Like, I could do 15 minutes on bourbon. And the people like you and I that love bourbon, love the material, but there's a certain patience that the people that maybe they don't drink, you know, or maybe they're like. Maybe they're in recovery. They're like, you know, what? Can you move on? And. And so it's like. But that's where it's. That's why I'm doing this on. On YouTube is because it is a niche thing. You know what I mean? And it is. You know, I don't have an expectation that everyone's gonna grab their kids and watch me talk about bourbon. And I don't think they should, but

[Craig Melvin]

I can't wait to watch it.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah. You know what I mean? If you're, like, somebody who's an adult and some of it is. I don't know about you. Cause I want to hear your. Like, were you somebody that was drinking bourbon in college or did you evolve into it?

[Craig Melvin]

I was drinking really crappy bourbon in South Carolina. But this was also before we had the variety that we have now. So back then, you know, on a Friday night, if you could get some Jim Beam, you were. You were a baller. You were a baller.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah.

[Craig Melvin]

And like, if we were celebrating a birthday, something special, maybe you might spring for Maker's Mark.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Right, Right.

[Craig Melvin]

But, you know. But no, I drank pretty mediocre bourbon up until about six or seven years ago, and. Because now I, like, collect it.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah, no, I totally. Oh, I. Mine. I think that there's, like, three, five stages because I'm. I'm late to the game. Like, I drank some Southern Comfort in college, but, like. But it was not about flavor. See, like, in the south, there's a different appreciation for bourbon and whiskey in general. And so, like, I was just kind of like, what is it, a quarter beer? I'll do that. And so I think there's five stages of becoming bourbon obsessed. The first stage is you. The awakening. You realize, oh, my gosh, there's a brown liquid that doesn't taste like lighter fluid, and it's bourbon. And then the next stage is discovering that there are bourbons that taste even better.

[Craig Melvin]

Yes.

[Jim Gaffigan]

So maybe it's will it or, you know, Elijah Craig, barrel proof. You're like, oh, my Gosh, this is very good.

[Craig Melvin]

Michter's 10 year old.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yes. And then the third phase is you sit there and you go, you know, I might want to get a couple of these bottles. Maybe you had a blends, which is adorable, and a cute bottle, and it's a great entry level thing, but you're not gonna, you're not gonna, you're not gonna overdo it like some of these bourbon nerds. You're not gonna spend over $100 and you're not gonna sleep out in your car, and you're not gonna hide purchases from your wife. And then the fourth phase is you're sleeping in your car and you're lying to your wife and you're building something like what you see behind Craig, which is. And your wife is like, is this that important to you? And you're like, yes, it is. Isn't it beautiful? And she nods because she loves you. And she realizes she'd rather have be with a guy who's obsessed with bourbon than having an affair.

[Craig Melvin]

There you go.

[Jim Gaffigan]

And that's why it's perfect.

[Craig Melvin]

That's you. It sounds like you've been talking to my wife, first of all. But I tell her all the time, I'm like, sweetie, it's not a heroin, you know, and when I'm down here in my bourbon basement, at least you know where I am, you know, it is.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I mean, I mean, that's what I love about it is because there is also. It's decidedly male. Obviously, men and women drink whiskey, but I love the fact that, like, there is. It's oddly, it's contradictory because men explore their masculinity. It allows them to get away from their wives and talk to other men about things that sound like mouthfeel and show bottles. And it's just very weird.

[Craig Melvin]

It is.

[Jim Gaffigan]

It is very weird.

[Craig Melvin]

It is. You know, but I, I really, it is one of my, my three favorite hobbies. Do you. How old are your kids again, Jim?

[Jim Gaffigan]

13 to 21.

[Craig Melvin]

Do they find you funny at all?

[Jim Gaffigan]

I think so. I mean, at times in small doses.

[Craig Melvin]

Okay.

[Jim Gaffigan]

But I'm also, I'm an enforcer. So there is, you know, it's, you know, it's kind of like, you know, I feel like I'm kind of the. The police officer. It's like, you can only like the police officer that much in your community. You know, it's like, you know, now I sound like I'm anti police, but like, it's just kind of.

[Craig Melvin]

I know what you mean.

[Jim Gaffigan]

You know, you're the tough cop.

[Craig Melvin]

You play tough cop.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I'm the authority. You know, I'm the guy that's like, no, you're not going to sleep with your phone. You know what I mean? It's like, like, why did I ever give them phones? But like, so, but you know, like the sense of humor thing is very important in our family. And I would say that here's where I'm very lax. Like if they're disrespectful.

[Craig Melvin]

Yeah.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Or they're rude, but they're funny about it. I'm like, all right. I was like, that's where, like, I have no principles. I'm like, my wife would be like, can you believe he said that? And I go, but it was fun.

[Craig Melvin]

It was fun. You know, it's my, my 11 year old is at that stage now. He's in the sixth grade. And you know, he's like testing boundaries and authority. And he'll say things sometimes, usually under his breath, and he'll say things sometimes and it's inappropriate, but it is so funny. I find myself cracking up and I have to remind myself I can't give him the impression that this is acceptable behavior.

[Jim Gaffigan]

My son Michael does that where he makes fun of my sayings. Like if I'll, I'll go, michael, did you do your form shooting? And he'll go, greatness, greatness. Cause that one point I spoke to him about greatness. And then sometimes he'll just chime in, then move out. You know what I mean? Cause I've said that to my 19 year old or 21 year old when they're like, why can't we do this? I'm like, then move out. Go ahead. So he curates quotes and he'll just throw them back at me. And again, half the time it's disrespectful. But it's always funny.

[Craig Melvin]

It is. And I think there's. I don't know, it feels like there's a part of us that should sort of reward that. So I saw your show at the Beacon last year. I believe it was last year. It's hard to keep up with your specials and your shows, but this is the show where you spent a good five minutes. It was self deprecating in the sense that, oh, I know what you're thinking. Look at Jim, he looks so good. He's lost so much weight. You're going on and on and I didn't know it was where it was going. And then you revealed that you've been taking the shot.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Craig Melvin]

Are you still taking the shot?

[Jim Gaffigan]

I am. I. You know, it's. It's. You know, it's one of those things I'm not as. It's weird. It's just something that's in the background of my life at this point, um, where I. I will take it, definitely, because I'm still paranoid that I'm going to feel nauseous, but I'm not using it with the expectation of losing more weight. It's just. I don't trust my own behavior.

[Craig Melvin]

There was so much talk around it. I tried it. You don't want to eat it. It suppresses all appetite for anything. Like, did you not find. Find that to be miserable?

[Jim Gaffigan]

Well, that's. That's where it's. It works really well for me because I, you know, I would jokingly say that it made me. It didn't remove it. It would just make me consume like a human as opposed to a dog. You know what I mean? So it's like, you have to understand. Correct. Like, I remember when I was writing some of these books with my wife, you know, we wrote a couple of books together, and there would. The morning we would wake up to get our kids to school, and there would be, like, four Triscuits boxes. Like, we. We, meaning mostly me. I would plow through three of them. Okay, no one does that, right? Like, no one does that. So for me, it's like. I think it's also. I hope it's the miracle drug that people think it is, because it is. If it can suppress, you know, compulsive. Compulsive behavior, that would be great. But, like, for me, it makes me behave like a human, which is amazing.

[Craig Melvin]

More with Jim Gaffigan after the break.

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[Jim Gaffigan]

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[Commercial Narrator]

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[Jim Gaffigan]

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[Craig Melvin]

Repeat.

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[Craig Melvin]

You mentioned your wife, Jeannie. First of all, I mean, how did you guys meet? I don't know that story. And here's a guy that loses his mother to cancer when he's 22, and then his wife of. Of many years has a brain tumor. Did you immediately go to. To that dark place?

[Jim Gaffigan]

Oh, yeah, No, I. Emotionally prepared for. Because it was. It was a tumor the size of a pear right in her head. And I was like, all right, this is. This is not good, right? And I've got five young children because I think it was like 10 years ago. And I kind of thought, okay, I guess that's my career. That's kind of because I'm not gonna outsource just the parenting to, you know, well, I can go and do standup. I was like, all right, not only am I gonna lose my wife, I'm going to not be able to pursue this creative outlet, but from an emotional standpoint, I think there was like, a pragmatism that kicks in, like, all right, well, I gotta do this. And, you know, and my big takeaway of her having that brain tumor was. The great gift was that it gave me an opportunity to show up and be this caretaker. And anyone who's been a caretaker, it is brutal. But it's also an opportunity for you to walk the walk. You know what I mean? Like, that you're. You were going to be there because not everyone does it. Some people are like, bye. You know what I mean? And so there's. That was the gift of it, making my wife's brain tumor about me, you know?

[Craig Melvin]

Well, okay. Well, yeah, I mean, I guess, in a way, but I got what you're saying. I understood what you were saying. I'd like to do this thing toward the. Toward the end of the conversation. They're just things that usually Random things I'm curious about. We sort of do it. Rapid fire, rapid fire, rapid fire.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

[Craig Melvin]

Curious questions. Gaffigan's pre show ritual.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I have a cup of coffee, and I also am always looking at notes. I'm always seeing if I can find one line that add to a show.

[Craig Melvin]

Never satisfied. You, of course, are famous for your food jokes. If there was just one food that Jim Gaffigan could eat for the rest of his life, what would it be?

[Jim Gaffigan]

You know, there's so many answers to this.

[Craig Melvin]

It's one.

[Jim Gaffigan]

All right, all right. I'd say. I'd say cheeseburgers.

[Craig Melvin]

Oh, that's a good one. God, that's a good one. That's the best answer I've probably gotten, actually. Who's your favorite child?

[Jim Gaffigan]

Favorite child? I would say my inner child. No, you know, I don't really like any of them, to be honest. Now, you know, as a parent, you might have inklings and they accuse you of it, but you're spending every waking hour so that, like, they are not. Because I think in previous generations, they were like, oh, I'm Mom's favorite. But, like, today, you're like, no, no, no, I'm not going to be the cause of a couple therapy sessions.

[Craig Melvin]

Correct. Yeah, I do tell my kids sometimes. It depends on the day. You know, one day one's the favorite, the next day it's another. Rarely are they favorites consecutive days.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah, I heard that there's. There's a grandmother that does a pecking order of grandchildren that they come over and they could see it, and it's so brilliant because it probably makes kids behave.

[Craig Melvin]

You're actually probably right. It probably would work. All right, let's. Let's do the redo.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Okay.

[Craig Melvin]

Any moments where. Where you felt like giving up, where you felt like this comedy thing is not going to happen.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Oh, yeah, definitely. I mean, and I remember I did a set at Danger Fields, and this is in the 90s, and I remember I was dealing with a heckler, and they were very rude, and they left, and then the waiter made me pay their bill, and I was like. Like the amount of humiliation upon humiliation, I just. But there were plenty of moments, you know, going back to our. The first part of this conversation where I was like, this is not going to work out by traditional standards of success. So what. What am I going to be comfortable with? So I had to embrace that.

[Craig Melvin]

What's one moment that you hope people remember you for?

[Jim Gaffigan]

I'd want people to know that I worked hard. Do you know what I mean? That it wasn't. And, you know, some of it is. As a parent, you want people like, you know, your children to be decent human beings. You know what I mean? So I guess his kids were not monsters, you know what I mean?

[Craig Melvin]

That could honestly be the title of your next special, right?

[Jim Gaffigan]

They're not monsters.

[Craig Melvin]

They're not monsters. They're not. At least they're not monsters.

[Jim Gaffigan]

At least they're not monsters. Not all of them.

[Craig Melvin]

That's. Well, not all of them, and not every day are you. Would you consider yourself a glass half full or a glass half empty kind of guy?

[Jim Gaffigan]

I would say glass half full, but also somebody who's like, I'm going to have to work hard to fill the rest of the glass. Some things come easy to people. Things come harder to me. But once I accepted that, that's. That's all right.

[Craig Melvin]

What comes harder to you? Because from the outside, it looks like things come pretty easy for one of the funniest guys in America.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Oh, well, thank you. No, I. I mean, I would say. Yeah. No, I think kind of every aspect of my career has been a little bit of a journey, and I'm grateful for everything that has happened, but I would, you know, among even my comedy peers, getting on Conan or Letterman, I was definitely one of the last people of my. The comedians of my generation or my sub generation to get that. And I'm sure everyone feels this way where you're just like. I think it just seems like there's much easier paths. But I feel like in life, I've always unintentionally taken the harder path. Like, even having five kids, like, that's dumb.

[Craig Melvin]

Well, I mean, it's a life choice. It is a life choice.

[Jim Gaffigan]

It is a life choice. By the way, being a parent is insane. The career accomplishments of a parent or the mental stability of a parent should not be compared to someone who doesn't have kids. Do you know what I mean? Like, I have a joke that's not in the bourbon set, but it's just. There's a child tax credit, and I think that parents of teenagers should get a teenage crazy credit because I know your kids are younger, but, like, once. Once they get there, it's. It's an unraveling. You know, they're. They're. If they're teenagers, are essentially mentally ill people. You know what I mean? That's not to say that's they're not great.

[Craig Melvin]

Yes, yes.

[Jim Gaffigan]

It helps that they look like you.

[Craig Melvin]

Yes.

[Jim Gaffigan]

You know, but like. And you love them, like, you know, today, this morning, you know, chaos. Right? Every morning before school, it's like, it's never. It's never been a scenario. Oh, my gosh. There's school. Yeah, there's school. You know what I mean? Like, oh, my gosh. I have to figure out my backpack. Yeah, that's why I was saying last night, make sure your backpacks.

[Craig Melvin]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Every day's the first day. I have so enjoyed this, my friend. I really have.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Thanks, buddy.

[Craig Melvin]

We like to always end with the toast as well. Cheers to your success. Cheers to the best moments that are yet to come. And cheers to Father Time. Bourbon.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Thank you. Thanks so much.

[Craig Melvin]

Well, there you have it. Jim Gaffigan. Perhaps, like you haven't heard Jim Gaffigan before. I just. I love the fact that, first of all, Jim loves bourbon almost as much as I do, but his take on the craziness of parenting and this idea that, you know, he nearly loses his wife, he loses his mom in his 20s, and how that shaped and molded him, I have a new appreciation for Mr. Gaffigan. By the way, you can catch Jim's set on YouTube. His new bourbon comedy set. It is out. Check it out. I want to thank Jim for joining me for today's edition of Glass Half Full, and thank you as well. I hope you enjoyed the conversation. And my corporate. Corporate overlords always like for me to remind you, if you enjoy the conversation, you should download it and you should share it. Is that right? Just download and share. Download and share. You can like it, too. They just told me you can like it. Until next time. Cheers. The glass is half full. Today's episode of Glass Half Full with Craig Melvin is produced by Sadie Bass and Jarrett Crawford, along with Lilia Wood. Ali Straim is our editor and Giuliana Mastarelli is our audio engineer. Ariana Davis and Ashley Kodiani are our executive producers. Additional production support is provided by Anne Legamayo, Chloe Leung, Bailey Coronis, and Megan Sarnacki.

[Jim Gaffigan]

We've all been there. You hold on to a coupon, but forget about it and suddenly it's Expired.

[Craig Melvin]

Expired in 2012. Dang it.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Fortunately, by switching to Geico, you could save about $900 on car insurance without ever touching a coupon. It feels good to save big. It feels good to Geico.