← Going Big! with Kevin Gentry
Going Big! with Kevin Gentry
Going Big with Daron Babcock: From Brokenness to Building a National Model for Community
00:38:58
Loading summary
Transcript41 lines
- [00:01]
Kevin Gentry
Hey there with a quick message. First, I want to talk to you about Zefie. Zephy is a way that delivers 100% of your donor's contribution directly to your organization. No more credit card fees, other platform fees. Our team uses Zephy. It's easy to set up, easy to use. Urge you to check it out zephy.com register find out how it delivers 100% of a donor's gift to your cause.
- [00:32]
Darren Babcock
I like to learn lessons the hard way. And as I've matured, one of the biggest lessons would be to to lean into the wisdom that people that loved and cared about me were trying to impart on me, that I wanted to to carve my own path. And in doing so, I've experienced a lot of unnecessary hardships because the answers were in front of me. I just didn't want to hear it. I wanted to discover it on my own. And I think the second thing is that we live in a culture where I think our priorities are generally skewed. You know, so much of how we're raised and what we're challenged with is building the best version of our life for ourselves. And I think the reality is at 60 years old now, I can look back and say the richest parts of my life are the areas where I've helped other people. And that's a lesson that unfortunately came to be way late in life. And I hope to make up for it with whatever time God gives me left on this earth. But those are the two things that stand out.
- [01:35]
Podcast Host (Kevin Gentry)
Welcome to the Going Big Podcast. I'm your host, Kevin Gentry, and this is the place where we celebrate bold moves and big ideas. Each week I sit down with inspiring leaders, entrepreneurs and change makers who are making a significant impact in their careers and in their communities. Whether you're looking to level up your leadership, pursue your passion, or just get inspired to take your next big leap, this is where those stories come to life. Now, if you're listening on iTunes, YouTube or anywhere else you tune into podcasts, be sure to hit that subscribe button so you'll never miss an episode. Now let's dive in to what it means to truly go big.
- [02:18]
Kevin Gentry
Well, ladies and gentlemen, today on the Going Big podcast, I am so honored to welcome Darren Babcock. As you're a about to see. Darren's story is one of transformation and hope. And I know you will be as inspired as I've been over the years getting to know Darren. Darren was a successful entrepreneur and in private equity and then some personal circumstances that ultimately went led to addiction, took him just to rock bottom. And his recovery through that took him to. What you're about to learn about is Bonton Farms, which started out as a small little plot of land to grow stuff for people. That turned into more than 40 acres today of one of the biggest urban farm initiatives in the country. And there's so much about it. There's now the Bonton Honey Company and more than 100 people who are working and in house nearby, and all as a part of this thriving community. It's a story of community, It's a story of transformation, it's a story of hope, and it's a story of inspiration because Darren is a really inspiring storyteller. And every time I've heard him, I leave even more motivated. And there's a lot I think that you'll enjoy. You may have already. You may be familiar with him from some of his 10x talks and his essays, but I think you're going to enjoy this conversation today and what we can all learn from it. So, Darren, welcome to the Going Big. Welcome to the Going Big podcast. It's great to have you today.
- [03:52]
Darren Babcock
It's wonderful to be here, Kevin. Thank you so much.
- [03:55]
Kevin Gentry
Well, your story is nothing short of extraordinary. And so I think I just want to dive in. You've said that before there was a Bon Ton Farms. You were in pursuit of just true friendship and a way of establishing a sense of community in a place that may be others might not have otherwise moved. To tell us a little bit about how this story all began.
- [04:21]
Darren Babcock
Yeah, well, you know, as you mentioned, my life took a spiral turn after my first wife's passing. And my personal journey is that, you know, the truth is there was a point in time where I had just given up. I couldn't find my way out of the hole that I had dug. But there were people that loved and believed in me and connected me to faith that I didn't have. And it was really those two things that transformed my life. And so coming out the other side of that, for me, I was in search for something that connected me to deeper meaning and purpose and to people in a. In a deeper way than I had been connected with before. And years went by and I had searched and searched and searched and never really found my home. And one day, a friend of mine that was involved in prison ministry, we sat down to have a coffee on a Saturday morning. And as soon as we sat down, he's like, I'm so sorry. I've got to go. You know, why did you invite Me here if you've got to go. And he's like, well, I hoping you I could convince you to come with me. I was like, well, where are you going? He said, well, a friend of mine in prison got released, and he's from this neighborhood in Dallas, Texas, called Bonton, and I've started going to meet him there, and other people are starting to show up, and I'd really love for you to come and join me. So that's how I got introduced, and the rest is history. You know, I. I met the most beautiful, resilient, capable, ambitious people I'd ever met in my life. But they were. They were communicating these barriers that they were facing that were holding them back. And I think it was twofold. One, I was embarrassed that I knew so little about people that were my neighbors that lived in my own city, and I just didn't understand the reality at all, Totally ignorant to it. And secondly, was just compelled by the beauty of the people and the dreams and aspirations that they were pursuing and trying to better understand from them the barriers that they were facing that were limiting the. So that's how the journey began. I started volunteering down there, going there every Saturday morning to meet with those men. And before long, it had become the highlight of my week, which begs the question, what was I getting out of it, right? Like, why is this the highlight of my week? And truth be told, I think in reflection, we were going down. Or I'll speak for myself, I was going down because it made me feel a little bit better about myself. But the reality is we were not making any demonstrable impact on the men and women that had invited us there into relationship. And so I really didn't know what to do about that. But I found it difficult to have real, authentic relationships from a distance. And so I lived in Frisco, Texas, at the time, which was about an hour commute away from Bonton. We started the conversation about what would it look like if I moved into the community where I could just be a friend, a true friend. And so after some conversations back and forth where the first time they told me that was a really bad idea, you won't ever make it. You won't make it a week here. We eventually settled that if I came down and followed some rules that they gave me, that they would agree to look after me. And thus began my journey of living and being a part of the community in Bonton.
- [07:28]
Kevin Gentry
Well, Darren, you know, recently I interviewed Don Miller as part of the Going Big podcast, and he talked about how Viktor Frankl's famous book, Man's Search for Meaning was so important to him. But, you know, many people struggle like, how do I find meaning and purpose in my life? And you were doing that. And yet to discover it through men who had been incarcerated and obviously didn't want to go back. Very few of us have an experience like that. So tell us, if you would, just a little more about that and then how in the world that led to Bonton Farms.
- [08:07]
Darren Babcock
Well, I'll never forget, Kevin, the first day that I got to Bonton, all of the people in that room said the same thing. One thing they were clear on, that they all agreed on, is that if we can't get jobs, we're going to wind up dead or back in prison. And that both sounded noble and like a call to action, something we could do something about. At that time, I was working for a private equity firm that had a portfolio of 120 companies. So my question back to them was, if I could introduce you to somebody that could hire you, what would you tell them? Like, what would you tell them you have to offer? And they look back at me like I was speaking Mandarin, you know, they said, look, I can't tell you why they will hire me, but I can give you a lot of reasons why they won't. And so we, we agreed that we were going to start working together in the community to clean up our own neighborhood. And we were going to measure ourselves at the end of every workday on things that companies value that take no education or experience to do. These are things we can choose to do, like having a good attitude, like showing up on time, like being a good teammate and making the people around you better, being responsible and dependable. And so that was really the initial journey. And as soon as that began, we struggled with some things. There were half of the people that wouldn't show up consistently. So the whole responsible, dependable thing wasn't happening. And we asked the question one, it all came back to health issues. I was like, you know, I was 47 years old at the time, had never been in or near an area of concentrated poverty. Now I am, and I'm seeing all these people around me that are struggling with chronic health issues that I've never experienced before. In fact, I'd never heard of the term dialysis before. And in Bonton, it's a part of our everyday conversation. And so the question is, like, why is everybody here so sick? And they started telling me about the lack of access to health care and the lack of access to fresh, affordable food. Bonton's also a food desert. And so this kind of journey started to illuminate of understanding the barriers that are interconnected that had not only led them to the places that they were prison in this case, but also were the same barriers they were facing when they came home trying to build a life and not go back. And so in response to that, they took me on a bus ride to experience what it was like to be them and get groceries. And I came back from that blown away and committed that that is a barrier that in the richest country in the history of the world. It is unacceptable. It should be unacceptable to all of us that we have over 10,000 food deserts in the United States today. In 1970, we had none. Today we have over 10,000. We invest over $500 billion a year in food security efforts, and yet the problem continues to spiral out of control. So clearly we need to do something different. And with lack of a better plan, we planted a garden.
- [11:03]
Kevin Gentry
You use some terms and things. And I just want to make sure everybody is able to understand this because this is a lot of this is new to me. I actually first want to just make sure I fully understand. There are a lot of people in the United States who are incarcerated. We have one of the highest incarceration rates in the world. And it is tough to understand, but when somebody comes out, what are you going to do in terms of job opportunities when you either have not had the preparation and training in the first place, but now you have this sort of mark, this stigma, and yet if you don't get effective employment, that you're just stuck in this spiral and you're very likely to go back. So one, I'd like you just to elaborate on that a little bit more because you understand it far better than I do and I think frankly than most people do. And then I want to come back to you and ask you more about the food desert.
- [11:58]
Darren Babcock
Yeah, I think there's a couple of problems related to that. Employment side, Kevin, is first and foremost, areas of concentrated poverty generally all across the country don't have economies in them. And so most of the social sector, the nonprofit sector's work is to prepare people for work to plug into the existing economy. And so that's what our, how our efforts started is to prepare people to be value creators in a company context. And then I learned something that really blew me away. Did you know that the average dollar stays in a middle income neighborhood for six days on average? Do you know what it stays in an inner city or an area. Concentrated poverty, on average, no clue, six minutes. So think about it.
- [12:42]
Kevin Gentry
When you say that, what does that mean?
- [12:44]
Darren Babcock
It means that the way I think about it is that if all we're doing is helping prepare people for work in an existing economy that exists somewhere else. I earn my paycheck in that other place and I come home and there's no goods or services to spend it on. So I go back to the place where the economy's already healthy and I spend my money back up there. So the flywheel of wealth generation never begins to. To spin. And so it's not only important that we prepare people to create value and existing opportunities, but I think it's paramount that we find ways to create economic opportunities in those neighborhoods.
- [13:20]
Kevin Gentry
Got it. And then what is a food desert?
- [13:24]
Darren Babcock
Well, the USDA defines a food desert as an urban community that has to travel at least a mile to get to a grocery store. I don't know how you react to that, but when I first heard that, I thought that sounded ridiculous to me. Like, you can walk a mile, you can ride a bike a mile. Why is that such a barrier? And then I learned that poverty greatly impacts mobility. And so it's a symptom of the problem of poverty that it impacts mobility. So our grocery store was only three and a half miles away. I now live in the neighborhood. It's no challenge for me to get from my neighborhood to the grocery store and back. But if you're living in the context of concentrated poverty and you're part of that, then you have to rely on other means. So my friends took me out to ride a bus the first time to experience what it was like for them to get to a grocery store. First thing that happened is you have to find somebody to watch your kids. So in the experiment that I did, it took them about three hours to find somebody to watch their kids, and they had to pay them $20. Then they bought a bus pass for $5. Then they started their journey to the grocery store, which was a three hour round trip bus ride to get to the grocery store, and came home with only $35 worth of groceries. So the question is, I spent $25 to get to the grocery store in half a day, and I came home with $35 worth of grocery. That doesn't work for anybody. So it's a. The food desert issue not only leads to, you know, hunger and food insecurity, but it leads to this chronic illness that we see happening if the only food we have access to Is highly processed foods that leads to chronic illness and chronically ill people aren't healthy enough to be responsible and dependable to get to work. So it appeared to me like helping people get healthy was a. Was a precursor to the employment side. So we tackled both of those simultaneously.
- [15:15]
Kevin Gentry
All right, so let's talk about the health piece. And, you know, that's certainly a lot more in discussion today, more broadly, but it's been an issue for all of our lives. It's a constant thing. I mean, you remember when you and I were kids, it was the four food groups and all this kind of stuff. And there's a lot more discussion today about processed foods and things. And so help us understand exactly when there's a food desert, if you don't have access to a lot of healthy options, what happens? Maybe it's obvious, but elaborate a little bit more on that. And then what was the light bulb that went off for you that said, we can have an urban farm, we can have bonton farms?
- [15:56]
Darren Babcock
Yeah. So first off, the only food that we really have access to that doesn't require that really heavy lift of spending a half a day and. And 50 bucks to get to the store and only buying $30 worth of groceries. Most people won't do that. So day to day, they go into the liquor stores or the beer and wine stores. That's our version of a convenience store, and they buy the food that's available there, which is only highly processed foods. And if you do that long enough, it leads to really negative health outcomes. For example, in bonton, we suffer from more than double the rate of cancer, More than double the rate of heart disease, More than double the rate of stroke, More than double the rate of diabetes, and more than double the rate of childhood obesity than the county we're in. And men will live 12 years less than the average lifespan of an average man in the county that we're in. So those negative health outcomes have to be resolved if we're ever going to see flourishing communities.
- [16:51]
Kevin Gentry
All right, so how did it come about? You understood the problem. How in the world did you come up with this as the solution?
- [17:00]
Darren Babcock
Well, I don't know that the farm is a solution, but it was the step that we could take. Right. So what are we empowered to do something about? That's the first question. What can we do about this? And at the time, we weren't even an organization yet. There was no bonton Farms. The garden is actually the thing. We took a lot, a vacant lot next to my house, and we planted A garden on it. And I told my friends we were going to commandeer it, and they never asked any questions about that. We just took over this lot next door to my house because my garden hose would reach there and my water was on. And we planted a garden. And it had the most profound effect, Kevin, in that it would be ridiculous to think that a little garden on an abandoned lot could actually address the food desert issue. But what it did is it started a conversation about our health outcomes. Those perverse health outcomes I described aren't normal. That's the environment you grew up in. It is normal. So you don't know different. And so when we started this conversation, all of a sudden we became aware that our reality isn't normal and that we have agency to do something about it. And that's really what started the journey. And that little garden that we planted started that conversation. And the conversation was the most powerful part that's led to now innovations that actually help us not only remove food deserts in bot, but we're scaling these innovations all across the country.
- [18:21]
Kevin Gentry
All right, well, clearly, I want to talk about the application of this more broadly, but just to fully understand more of your story. So you chose to move to and live in this area of South Dallas, and then you came up with this idea of starting growing stuff, and this idea of Bonton Farms. Tell us about sort of the resistance and skepticism you also faced and just a little bit more of the journey and how it took hold.
- [18:51]
Darren Babcock
Well, I think originally the first barrier is I'm an outsider, right? And outsiders aren't welcomed into places like this. And so the first huge barrier was just a trust barrier. I always say that progress moves at the pace of relationships, and relationships move at the pace of trust. And trust is established when you have each party set expectations that you consistently meet. And so we had to work through that together, and that took some time. When we planted the garden, we had a liquor store right across the street from a garden that, unbeknownst to me, was selling heroin out of it. And a lady had walked into the liquor store, bought her heroin, walked outside, shot up with it, walked across the street to the bus stop, which is right in front of our garden, and started nodding off, which you'll see a lot in our neighborhood that doesn't. People don't pay attention to it. It's a normal occurrence. And by the time somebody had checked on her, she had obtained, died. So when they found out the dope was bought in the liquor store, you know, you can imagine all the law Enforcement from DEA and FBI to our local police, code enforcement. And everybody came down, shut down the liquor store and started their investigation. It was at that point in time that we had our first vegetables being produced. So one of my friends was walking in front of that same bus stop bench while all of this crime scene was being worked and had a bag vegetables from our garden. And somebody that was standing in front of one of those stores walked up to me and said, hey, what do you have in your bag? And he said, vegetables from our garden. And the guy said, let me see. So he showed him what he had in the bag and we offered him $3 for it. They made the transaction and a code enforcement officer walked across the street and wrote him a ticket for it. So you talk about barriers. There's city ordinances and laws and all kinds of things that are barriers that I would have never dreamt of in my wildest imagination that we now are becoming aware of. And I think once you become aware of something like that that's holding millions of Americans, our neighbors back, it's like the question becomes, what's our responsibility to address those barriers and see what can be removed so that we liberate more people to live into the fullness of who God created to be.
- [21:06]
Kevin Gentry
Well, I mean, I don't know whether the takeaway is that we all have to follow your path and do something like this. I mean, it's amazing. But how, how did you build this trust? I mean, you, you commented on that. You can't just go in and do, how in the world did you build this trust?
- [21:25]
Darren Babcock
Well, first of all, I think some of it goes back to my story, right? I've been broken too, right? So I'm not some guy coming down that has it all together. I need this as much as they need it. And I think that bought some equity. And I think as I said before, trust is built when you consistently meet expectations. So when I would get accused of being the police or, you know, whatever, all the things people were saying to me, I was like, look, judge me by the evidence of what you see I do on a day to day basis. And so every day it was like building blocks of showing up, doing what you say you're going to be, do, be who you say you're going to be, and do what you say you're going to do consistently. And over time, trust is established and from that relationships begin to form. And through those relationships, progress begins to emerge.
- [22:13]
Kevin Gentry
Well, earlier we talked about, you know, your pursuit of meaning and, and purpose. Help us Understand a little bit more. You, your, your TEDx talk, planning hope, talked about human potential. Connect us a little bit to, to this, that is there a story in particular you can tell us from your experience that kind of brings us to life?
- [22:40]
Darren Babcock
Well, there's thousands of them, Kevin. You know, for the sake of time, my favorite story takes a little bit of time to, to tell, but I had this. We want to understand though, my favorite story is we had four men that got released from prison and sent to a halfway house. And they showed up at Bonton Farms and said, look, we need a, we need a job, we need a place to plug in. We need a community to belong to and we have to report back to our parole officer. Can we. And so we welcomed, started to. To get to know them better and find ways that we could help. And one of the guys they brought down was non communicative. And I'd never worked with anybody that was non verbal before and nobody had ever heard him speak. And so we just treated him like we did everybody else. But you know, our normal day would start kind of getting together and having a devotion, just a time of encouragement for one another. Then we would give out our work assignments for the day, and then we'd get to work. And every time we do that, Eddie would go sit in a chair under the pecan tree all day long while we were. And the next day we would start over again. And so one day I was walking through there. This went on for a couple of months. And in the fall of this year, pecans started falling from the tree and Eddie had started picking up those pecans and shelling them. And as he did over time, squirrels and birds started coming closer to him and actually started eating out of his hand. And one day I was walking through just like I did every day and said, good morning, Eddie. And this time he said, I need to talk to you. First words out of his mouth. Nobody'd ever heard him speak before. And it was like the old E.F. hutton commercials. You and I might be old enough to remember those. I'm not sure how many of the audience might, but everything stopped. And everybody was fully tuned in to listen to Eddie. And he's like, look, I've never had a human being that I can trust before, but these animals, squirrels and birds, are showing me that I need relationship. So I need to try. Will you let me try a relationship with you? And those were the first words I was about. And so the journey of Eddie began. And he told us that he had got sent to prison. And did 27 years in solitary confinement. 27 years, 23 hours a day in a cell by himself and one hour a day in the wreck yard by himself for 27 years. And in year 20. And he said, prison smells the same. It has the smell and it's the same 24, 7, 365. But he said, in the spring, we never know when the seasons change, except when spring comes, because we can hear the lawnmowers outside. And we hear lawnmowers. We always ask the guards to open. They have a little 2 inch slat of window at the top of their cell. And he would say they would always ask the guards to open the window. And so at year 20, Eddie's like, I can't do this anymore. And he's trying to figure out of the ways he's seen people take their lives in prison, how, what's the best way for me to do it, because I can't do this anymore. And that spring, the lawnmowers started outside, Eddie asked the guards to open his window. He did. He would say, the smell of cut grass is like perfume. And then he said, that particular spring, a cardinal flew in my room. And every season, every spring from that year on, from year 20 to year 27, that same cardinal flew in his room. And then all of a sudden, he comes to Bonton Farms. And what is it that opens up his aptitude towards a relationship for squirrels and birds? And so this began the journey with Eddie. Journey. Now. Eddie now works for Hilti, one of our employment partners. He has a tiny home that he lives in on the property. He's surrounded by people that love and cherish him. He has a family that he never had, and he's just thriving. And that's an, that's just one example of thousands that I could tell. But Eddie's story of, of coming from such severe trauma, 27 years in solitary confinement, to living a beautiful life that he is so excited about today is my favorite story of all.
- [26:40]
Kevin Gentry
Well, that's pretty amazing. Well, Darren, you know, I don't know who's listening, but I know that in life, you know, we see people like Eddie and there's a tendency to just want to walk to the other side of the street to just, you know, move on in your life. Kind of just think, this person doesn't exist because you don't know what to do. And then we think, well, maybe we can help in some way, but we don't know how to help. But there's this concept of charity. But you think about it very differently. And you think about it in terms of empowerment. And empowerment is a term we use a lot these days. I know now you have partners like Habitat for Humanity and the Bush Institute. How do you see your efforts differently? It's not a charity. It's an effort to empower people to live the kind of lives of meaning that you were pursuing. Right. And I don't want to put words in your mouth, but tell us about how you think about this.
- [27:40]
Darren Babcock
Well, I think that I believe people, all people, have dignity and purpose and are unique and have a fingerprint that nobody else has, to leave an imprint that nobody else can. And so charity, in my opinion, should be relegated to only times of crisis when there's no alternative. And if it doesn't meet that standard, you should never do something for somebody that they're capable of doing for themselves. And I think that's a really simple definition of what empowerment is.
- [28:09]
Kevin Gentry
Is empowering people to be for themselves, relief or. Or, I mean, if there's a horrible natural disaster or. Or a horrific illness or something like that and someone is helpless, that's a charitable act. But the alternative, whenever you can, is empowerment. Is that what you're saying?
- [28:29]
Darren Babcock
Yes. I mean, there's times where we've had people come down that are literally hungry, and the response to that should be, can we get them a meal? You know, we've had people that are families that are evicted and sleeping in their car, and their kids can't shower and get dressed and go to school. And so that might require an emergency response. But it's really important to quickly turn the corner from charity to empowerment. And I think we too often get stuck in the charitable frame for too long, and we rob people of their own empowerment and their own dignity and purpose in life by not requiring. What a good friend of mine, Dr. Bob Lupton, shared with me early on is, everything we do should be tied to an honorable transaction. And the way he would describe that is that something of commensurate value is exchanged. And so when you come to Bonton Farm, anything that you get is something you earn through contribution. And often the people we serve don't have any money. But the beautiful part of is that we get to show them that they're more valuable than their pocketbook. They have other ways they can contribute. And we're always trying to say, if you need X, you can contribute Y, but you can't just take X without contributing anything. And that's the version of empowerment that starts to unlock that I'm capable That I have agency, that I have purpose, that I have meaning, that have self worth, because I now am earning the things that I need for myself. And it established the behavior that's really important for the journey that they're embarking on.
- [29:58]
Kevin Gentry
Well, Darren, you know, God made each one of us, and so we have to appreciate and value each person's life. That's our. That's. That's part of our calling. And I know you understand that. That's how you work to apply that. And God bless you for the way you do it. It's extraordinary what you've chosen to do. If you don't mind, bring this back a little bit more to your own personal journey. When you were in some of those darkest valleys. How did all of this shape your thinking to where you are today? And again, God bless you for how you've now devoted your life to trying not only to do what you've done in Bonton Farms, but to take it all over the country.
- [30:43]
Darren Babcock
You know, I came out of. Out of my dark period because people that loved me didn't give up on me when I'd given up. And so I didn't do this alone. I would not have made it. I'm convinced of that. But people connected, cared about me and connected me to get the help that I needed to overcome the struggle that I was coming to. And in the midst of that, connected me to a faith. And so it's my faith, coupled with relationships that really carried that through. And the way that changed me is my relationships prior to that were what I would call transactional. There were relationships that I had that were mutually beneficial. Like, I'm in this relationship because you offer me this and I offer you that. I was looking for those unconditional relationships. Like I wanted to have deep relationships in the way the people that loved and cared about me sacrificed so much personally to see that they walked alongside me until I came through the dark spot that I was in. And that sounds kind of commonplace, and maybe it's just me, but that was something that I didn't have enough of and I didn't know how to do. And Bonton gave me the gift of learning what it means to have deep, authentic, real relationships where nothing is expected in return and everything is done out of just the generosity of loving and caring for your neighbor. And that's a gift that nobody of nothing can ever take away.
- [32:13]
Kevin Gentry
Well, again, as I say, when I first met you, and I've heard you since, you always leave me very inspired. The story is inspiring. You often challenge us all to think individually. How can each of us make a difference? So for folks listening to the Going Big podcast right now, and they're trying to understand what you've done and figure out how in their own lives they can do this, what. What would you urge us to think about?
- [32:41]
Darren Babcock
Well, the good news is that I don't think it requires for most people. I feel like that this was something that God invited me into. That's my personal belief about this. And I don't think that's required for everybody. Right. I think it starts with what gifts do you have? You know, I know a lot of people that are deeply relational, and that's their gift of being good friends. I know other people that are brilliant innovators, and we need innovation to solve problems. What is it that you're gifted at? And then what are you passionate about? And marrying your giftedness with your passion and finding a way to help society through the giftingness and passion is the best way for you to plug in and get started. And where that leads you from there, only God knows. But I think that's the best way to get started. I find all too often people want to. They have a desire to plug in and contribute in ways that are bigger and beyond just themselves. And they do so without thinking through their passion and their gifts first. And they wind up doing things that become transactional and aren't life giving back to them. And so they. They're temporary. And I find that your involvement becomes more permanent when you align your passions and your. And your gifts.
- [33:56]
Kevin Gentry
All right, Darren, this has been great today. I. I always like to add, end with two questions. And so I'm going to do those two, the first of which is now where you are looking back on an earlier version of yourself, maybe 21 years old now, all that you've done in your life, all that you've gone through, what would you tell that younger version of yourself to do any differently as a result of what you've seen in your life?
- [34:22]
Darren Babcock
Well, Kevin, I unfortunately have always been a bit rebellious. And so I like to learn lessons the hard way. And as I've matured, one of the biggest lessons would be to. To lean into the wisdom that people that loved and cared about me were trying to impart on me, that I wanted to carve my own path. And in doing so, I've experienced a lot of unnecessary hardships because the answers were in front of me. I just didn't want to hear it. I wanted to discover it on my own. And I Think the second thing is that we live in a culture where I think our priorities are generally skewed. You know, so much of how we're raised and what we're challenged with is building the best version of our life for ourselves. And I think the reality is, at 60 years old now, I can look back and say the richest parts of my life are the areas where I've helped other people. And that's a lesson that unfortunately came to me way late in life. And I hope to make up for it with the. With whatever time God gives me left on this earth. But those are the two things that stand out as there was wisdom there that I didn't. Didn't take to heart, and the idea that I would have fought my own journey and not just followed the path that culturally I was told to get my education and go to college and get a job and accumulate as much stuff for yourself. But I would have loved to have had the maturity to look through the lens of contribution. What do I have to offer my community, my society, my family that's outside of myself and my benefit? Because I think that's where the true gifts and purposes and meaning come from in our lives at the end of the day.
- [36:01]
Kevin Gentry
You know, Darren, it's amazing, after doing now about 50 or so of the episodes of this podcast, there are two themes that come out. And one is tapping the wisdom of others, mentors in some way. And the mentors don't necessarily even have to be older than you. They might even be younger than you. But tapping the wisdom of others and then finding your calling, finding that gift in the way that you can contribute most effectively. Thank you. This is. I don't know why it's taken this podcast for me to understand this, but this is helping. But this is. Thank you. Well, here's the last bit. So, you know, I asked you to come onto the Going Big podcast because the Going Big notion is those who make a big contribution in some way, and it may be in a massive, clear, public way, it may be measured in business, or it may be measured in some other form, but it is also measured in the way that it contributes to others living a more meaningful life. And again, I think it's amazing not only what you've been able to achieve there in your local community, but now that you're taking that to others. But for anybody listening all over the world, what's your final sort of advice that you would give to anyone listening about what they might take away from this conversation today?
- [37:18]
Darren Babcock
I just think the biggest thing to me is learning that giving of yourself is to help others not only makes your life richer, but it makes your community and your city and your state and your country richer, too. I know that sounds probably very general and maybe too simplistic, but I'll never forget when I first got to Bonton. I was committed to trying to pour my life out on the sake of my neighbors that so desperately needed a mentor and an ally and a friend and opportunities to break down barriers that they were facing. And what I learned is that they kept pouring more into me than I was able to pour out. And so what I think we often think about is a sacrifice isn't a sacrifice at all. It's actually a gift and will pay dividends beyond your wildest expectations. I always joke and say I don't make much money anymore, but I feel like I'm the richest man in Dallas because I've given up the things that you can lose that are temporary. And I've gained things that nobody and nothing can ever take away.
- [38:26]
Kevin Gentry
Wow. Darren, thank you. I mean, thank you for sharing your experiences and your insights today. And this wisdom, a lot of this is newly found wisdom from these recent experiences you've had. Thank you. Thank you for what you're doing and for being an inspiration to to all of us. Thanks for joining us today.
- [38:45]
Darren Babcock
Thank you, Kevin. Appreciate it.
- [38:46]
Podcast Host (Kevin Gentry)
Thanks for tuning in to the Going Big Podcast. I hope today's conversation left you feeling energized and ready to tackle your biggest goals. Don't forget to subscribe and leave us a review on iTunes, YouTube or wherever you listen to podcasts. It really helps spread the word and it gets these inspiring stories out to more people. You can also find more content, resources and updates at our website, goingbigpodcast.com Remember, the only limits are the ones you don't challenge. The limits that you impose on yourself. Keep pushing, keep growing, and above all, keep going big. See you next time on the Going Big Podcast.
- [39:29]
Kevin Gentry
Well, thanks again for joining us for another episode of the Going Big Podcast. I hope you were inspired to think big and to go big as a result of hearing these sorts of motivating conversations. And one more note about our sponsor for today, Zefie. Be sure to check out zefie.com register and find out how you can be one of more than 50,000 nonprofits that are taking advantage of this service that delivers 100% of an online donor's contribution directly to your important cause. No more fees. No more hassles. Check it out and we'll look forward to seeing you again on the next episode of the Going Big podcast.