Going Big! with Kevin Gentry

Episode Title: Going Big with Kay Coles James: From the Kitchen Table to the White House
Date: October 13, 2025
Host: Kevin Gentry
Guest: Kay Coles James

Episode Overview

In this inspiring episode, Kevin Gentry welcomes Kay Coles James, a leader whose journey spans from humble beginnings in Portsmouth, Virginia to influential positions at the White House, in state government, and at the helm of the Heritage Foundation. Through candid storytelling and wisdom gleaned from decades of service, Kay shares how faith, mentors, family, and an unwavering commitment to being "available" have propelled her to “go big” – often without ever aiming for the spotlight. Listeners are treated not only to powerful stories of public service, but also practical insights on authentic leadership, balancing purpose and family, nurturing future leaders, and building bridges in a polarized world.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Origins: From the Kitchen Table

[03:54] Kay Coles James recounts her roots, being born on a kitchen table to a single mother in poverty, and how that experience shaped her lifelong commitment to the value of every life.

• Compelling moment: Confrontation on the abortion issue led her to recognize her own story as testimony—her mother was told by society that no "self-respecting woman" would have another child under such circumstances, yet that child was Kay herself.
  • “I explained to her that I had a vested interest in how she would counsel that woman because that woman was in fact my mother. And I was born to a welfare mom...delivered by a nurse midwife on a kitchen table.” (Kay Coles James, [05:06])

2. What It Means to "Go Big"

[08:09] Kay humbly rejects the idea that she was driven to "go big"; instead, she emphasizes that her journey has always been about being faithful to God’s call and making herself available.

• Faith as a motivator: “My desire was to be faithful. My desire wasn’t to go big... But I would say this, if you are faithful...the opportunities will in fact come.” (Kay Coles James, [08:30])
• She highlights risk-taking—not as ambition, but as obedience.

3. The Role of Mentors

[11:01] Kay underscores the critical influence of mentors and champions, naming women who shaped her values, grit, and professional readiness.

• Kevin affirms that "calling and mentors" are recurring themes among Going Big! guests.

4. Balancing Public Life with Family

[13:28] Kay candidly discusses the personal costs and challenges of leadership—particularly as a mother and wife.

• Memorable moment: Her child once asked, "Mom, why won't you come home?" which forced her to reconsider the primacy of her roles at home.
  • “If I saved every unborn child in America and lost one of my three, I would have failed in God's primary mission for my life.” (Kay Coles James, [14:17])
• Sharing the family mission allowed her to sustain both public and private commitments.

5. Leadership & Authenticity

[18:27] Kay explains that authenticity—being transparent about faith, family, and even flaws—is the core of her approach to leadership.

• “Once I decided I was going to let the world see who K. James really, truly is...people appreciate authentic leadership.” (Kay Coles James, [18:36])
• Rejects any idea of retirement: “I still work. I just don’t get paid...There is no retirement.” (Kay Coles James, [19:40])

6. Building Bridges Over Blowing Them Up: Navigating Government and Policy

[22:42] In response to Governor George Allen’s praise, Kay discusses achieving bipartisan policy progress in government.

• Emphasizes bridge-building, listening, and seeking consensus:
  • “We’re here to build bridges, not blow them up...multiply and add to the movement, not to divide or subtract.” (Kay Coles James, [24:05])
  • As Heritage Foundation head, her surprising answer to who she wanted to reach: “Bernie Sanders voters...because I defy them to say that they care more about poor people than I do.” (Kay Coles James, [25:21])

7. The Gloucester Institute: Raising "Solutionists"

[26:37] Kay introduces the Gloucester Institute, an organization formed to restore a historic site of civil rights activism and cultivate the next generation of "solutionists"—leaders focused on solving, not debating, problems.

• “If you are willing to set aside labels, let come together...and solve problems, you're welcome to come.” (Kay Coles James, [31:37])
• The Institute’s programs teach consensus-building and critical thinking to young leaders from diverse backgrounds.

8. Mentoring and Championing the Next Generation

[34:23] Kay reflects on shifting from just mentoring to actively "championing" young people by offering guidance, trust, and honest conversation.

• “I have been blessed with people who...will knock down doors for me...and so I feel compelled to pay that forward.” (Kay Coles James, [36:05])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Trust and Being "Unbothered":
  “When you have that level of trust, you can walk through life unbothered...You can go and sit in the White House. Unbothered, you can go through life...And I wish I had learned that sooner.”
  — Kay Coles James, [00:31] & [38:30]

• On Advancing With Faith:
  “I never, ever wanted to go big...I just wanted to be faithful to the call of God on my life.”
  — Kay Coles James, [08:12]

• Public Service and Family:
  "This was not a Kay Coles James mission. This was a James family mission...They are the wind beneath my wings."
  — Kay Coles James, [14:21]

• On Retirement:
  “I still work—I just don’t get paid. So there’s a lot of work to be done. There is no retirement.”
  — Kay Coles James, [19:40]

• On Mentorship:
  "The people who were really important in my life didn't just mentor me, but they championed me."
  — Kay Coles James, [34:35]

• Praise from Leaders:
  “Kay James is about as smart, principled, and articulate as it comes...you were loved and respected by everyone who had the pleasure of knowing you.”
  — Governor George Allen, as shared by Kevin Gentry, [20:42]

  “Her faith in Jesus literally beams and her deep compassion...is a welcome sign for a relationship that will change your life.”
  — Governor Glenn Youngkin, as shared by Kevin Gentry, [41:04]

Timestamps of Important Segments

• [03:54] — Kay’s origin story: kitchen table birth, early influences
• [08:09] — Defining “going big”: faithfulness over ambition
• [11:01] — The importance of mentors
• [13:28] — Family, personal sacrifice, and balance in leadership
• [18:27] — Keys to authentic leadership and longevity in service
• [22:42] — Navigating government and policy differences; praise from George Allen
• [26:37] — Founding and vision for the Gloucester Institute
• [34:23] — Championing vs. mentoring young leaders
• [38:13] — Advice to her 21-year-old self: trust, being unbothered, and valuing relationships
• [41:04] — Closing, Governor Youngkin’s tribute, Kay's legacy philosophy

Kay’s Advice for Future Leaders

1. Embrace Calling, Not Spotlight:
   Success is found in faithfulness to calling, not in striving for prominence.

2. Value Authenticity:
   Transparency about your values and flaws creates deep trust and influence.

3. Prioritize Relationships:
   “Relationships and people matter more than anything...I am not going to destroy a relationship or a friendship over a difference of opinion or policy.” ([39:05])

4. Find and Be a Champion:
   Seek those who pour into you—and champion others in return.

5. Live Unbothered by Trusting Deeply:
   Learn to trust God so fully that worry and anxiety don't own your journey.

6. Measure Footprints, Not Titles:
   “What is my footprint that I am leaving on this planet? Have I done well? Have I loved well? Have I served well?” ([42:30])

Closing Reflection

Kay Coles James’s life is a testament to what it looks like to “go big” by answering a higher call, fostering lasting impact through family, mentorship, authentic leadership, and creating spaces for diverse voices to unite and solve real problems. Her wisdom speaks to leaders in all walks of life: “Going big means loving big, living big, serving big well.” ([43:04])