← Good For You with Whitney Cummings
Good For You with Whitney Cummings
America, F-Yeah | Good For You Podcast with Whitney Cummings | EP 324
00:45:57
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Oh, hey, y'. All. It's me, your boy. You know what I don't want to do? I don't want to be the podcast. It's like, happy New Year. Happy New Year. I'm not going to look, I'm going to skip boring you with all my New Year's resolutions because I'm not a hack and I didn't have time to make my list. So that means my New Year's resolution is to stay exactly the same, which is honestly kind of punk rock. Like, can everyone stop me? Such a dork. Like, I'm going to try to be better this. Can everyone chill on trying to be better? It's never going to happen. You're. You are who you are. All right? It's not getting better than this. The best you can do, honestly at this point is just accept it and move on with your flawed self. All right, you know what it is? It's big, big gym, big vitamin, big pill. I've had it. You hear everyone's New Year's resolution, and it is, like, such a programming from, like, this big wellness. Everyone's like, I'm gonna start taking 16 pills every morning. I'm gonna go to the gym. But your New Year's resolution is also to save money. You can't. You can't buy snake oil and engage in all these scams and save money. So how about this? Stop deep throating charlatans. Turds. That's what a vitamin is at this point. Stop snorting fake creatine powder. That's not what it is. You know how, like, I can't say anything I want to say. You know how they're like your test people now? Test their for. I'll just say it in French to see. You know, to see. Like, can you just. Can anyone. Can we test any of these powders to see if any of the vitamins are actually in it? Like an independent study. Who name them. Who did this, into who. And by independent, you mean a single man with no wife. By independent, you mean single, single man, recently divorced men looking into these powders. So, look, I'm going to kick off this year with a deeply patriotic episode about what it means to be an American, even if you're not American. This is a very important, mind blowing, frankly episode. I had an epiphany over the past week, and I want to share it with you because you deserve to have your life changed. Okay? I was over the holiday. I was. I'm English now. I went on holiday to London Town, England. All right? I Love that. No one can decide what to call it. They're like, over in the UK going to London. Like, guys, I guess we have America and the United States. Like, when someone doesn't like America, they call it the United States. But when they love it, they call it America. You know what I mean? It's like. It's like. It's like, when I'm mad at you, I'll call you Patrick. Patrick. Patrick, right? When you're mad at England, you're like the United Kingdom. So I returned from my trip with some profound insights. I have a new perspective and understanding on why America is in the jam it's in. And yes, I do, of course, mean Meghan Markle's jam. Tax saving jam. Tax scam jam. To understand what America has evolved into, which everyone is trying to do over in the uk, as I call it, they think we are ruining, like, society, like, humanity. The species will become extinct because of America. So that's all I want to talk about. And then when you're in America, all people talk about is how America's a mess. So I do think it's worth us all trying to figure out how we got here. And I did. I figured it out. So you, however, have to really zoom in on what we come from and how we got here. So I. I went to England. I go every couple years. My brother lives there. He married an English gal, and my nieces and nephew live there. And every time I go, I'm a bit baffled. I go and I'm like, huh? So this is the country that was so annoying that 400 years ago, people were like, ah, going to risk it all? Brave the unknown, treacherous, endless sea of freezing horror for even a chance to escape this place, the place where they make you believe in God and eat mayonnaise with French fries. Like, I got to get out of here. But, like, for our ancestors, the religion was a real sticking point. They weren't having it. This whole thing where the Commandments told them to, like, be nice to people, don't sleep with your neighbor's wife, they were like, I hate it here. No can do. England. Too big of an ask. I shan't. We refuse. And we are. We are. Instead of abiding by your phooey, silly goose ideas of don't kill your neighbor or boink his wife, we're going to risk it all and chase a vague notion of a new world where we will have freedom, where we can make our own religions based on logic and reason, founded by L. Ron Hubbard. We're Sick of all this organized religion where men wear gowns and crowns. We're to make our own country where in 400 years, men in gowns and crowns will be one of the biggest shows on television. Enough. Enough with your churches with stunning architecture. We want freedom. We don't want a stupid religion. We want cults where our leaders wear jeans and drive Bentleys, where we have to be naked on uppers in a van making vision boards. Enough of all this pomp and circumstance. Enough with the spires on the churches. We want to worship our God in a square beige building. And we want to wear Under Armour shorts and Crocs with socks, because that is freedom. I mean, can you imagine what that must have been like? I've never really thought about what it must have been like to be so mad at your country that you get on a boat in a suit, no less. You know, the Pilgrims were always in, like, suits. I have so many questions about the shoes with the belt buckles were, like, on air. They were all, like, dressed by the costumer of kinky boots on bra. Like, they're just like, why do they have belts on their hats? Do you know? This is the kind of Asperger's can't let. I've been thinking about this, truly, twice a week since, like, second grade. What is it? So the hat would stay on. Is it. I think about this a lot. Did the hats make it to America? Even if they did have those hats in England, how do the hats stay on the boat? No one, See, no one challenges this stuff. And it's the little things that tell you, if they lie about this, what else are they lying about? So you're telling. So whoever's illustrating these high school textbooks that we all had to read, put a hat on the pilgrim on the boat and then on the. Back on America. Do you guys. Do you not know how wind works on boats? Like, guys, like, I know, I know we're kids and we're learning basic history, but, like, this is actually patronizing. It's insulting our intelligence, even though we have literally no intelligence yet. But, like, you know what kids do know about pirates. And pirates wore handkerchiefs, like, do rags because of the wind on boats. We know these hats didn't make it, but I'll let it slide. I'll let it slide because New Year knew me. So a bunch of disgruntled future Americans were like, I don't like living in England. I'm gonna get on this boat. I'm gonna go to America, right? Start a new life. History done. Moving on. We all kind of just like accepted that, you know? But when you go to England with a toddler with a two year old and you're in a catatonic stupor with jet lag and you have some time to think, you're like, I don't know, man. Doesn't add up as a one. Whitney Cummings comments under every posted my feed featuring Live Forever guy Brian Johnson. I don't know, man. I don't know. I don't know if I buy it. History gets super murky as you get older because you're like, wait. You, once you become like enough of an adult, you know, you go to the beach, you've gone to the beach enough and it's kind of lost its like luster, you know, you lose a couple friends to weird like freak infections from like a puddle. Like someone gets viral encephalitis or whatever these itis, you know, and then you're like, hold on, I don't, I don't know. Four hundred years ago, people looked out at this water with like a rickety boat with no motors, by the way, no navigation situation, and was like, yes, let's go on that for two months just so we can say whatever we want. I'd be like, you know what? I could, I could shut up. Shutting up isn't that hard. You know what? I'm just gonna go away from the vast dark abyss of moving sea of water that actually makes you more dehydrated and shut up. Like I can shut up. You know what I mean? There's more to this story. I don't buy it. I don't buy anxiety is not new. People didn't just used to look at the ocean and go like, let's go. Like, it's. That was the number one threat, right? Was the ocean okay? Doesn't add up. Back when the ocean, okay, dude, they knew next to nothing back then, right? And what they did know, the few things, was that the ocean was like, no bueno, but it takes getting older and like, look, you romanticize things when you're young, all right? Like when you go to the beach as a kid, you're like, wow, that's where Nemo lives. Look at that lifeguard who just sits there like a lifeguard. You don't think it's like they're saving anyone's life. You're like, he's a guard. He's like a. He's just like, comes with the beach. He's like the mascot. He never like, he's like, smokey the bear, you know, he never gets out of the big high chair. He just. He's just like, hangs out. He's got binoculars. Like, he's just like. He's the guy. He's never seen a man at the beach in swim trunks and a T shirt be sucked into the ocean in front of his family. That would be that. No one would ever take this job. They would never give a high school senior the responsibility of saving children in a rip current. You know, he's just like, cowabunga, dude. Like, you don't overthink it, right? He's probably putting in his hours so he can be a marine biologist, a job you only knew about as a kid, remember? Why do only children talk about marine biologists? It's like the gerbil of jobs. As soon as you turn, like, 18, you're like, that's not real. No adult has a gerbil. Like, never once. As an adult, you just have a vermin problem. As a kid, you put, like, rats in a cage and you, like, name them. As an adult, you put down traps that snap their neck. Not everyone, though. Honestly, I. I take that back. I love TikTok because you can find adults with every animal. Snakes, skunks, they sleep with their praying mantis. Like you can find. There is a girl on Tik Tok. She has an emotional support. She has a lobster. The level of lonely that humans have managed to achieve is. Is shocking. She. She takes this lobster everywhere. Like, dude, I'm. I'm no marine biologist, but don't they need water? She's like, no, no, no, don't worry. They have water. It. It's always covered in my tears. So, like, maybe. Maybe that's the point is when you get older, you see the ocean in a totally different way, and it makes you totally question. Everything about the pilgrims and the settlers and all of history gets reassessed once you're an adult because you no longer romanticize things or just go, ah, some adult wrote this, so it must be true. You grow up and you're like, wait a second. Most adults are messes, are lying, cheating, liars, thieves and worms. Okay? You're. No matter how bad the church sermons were 400 years ago, if you saw a floating boat, first of all, first of all, they knew this was one of the first boats. You're like, hold on. These boats weren't here when I was a kid. I would have known. Kids love boats back then too, probably. Like, how has anyone been on. Have these taken a trip yet? Like, how Much practice could anyone have really gotten at this point? I'm just. Has anyone gotten their 10,000 hours? Because I am keenly aware when something is the first something. Okay? I'm the guy who most people are like, oh, God, the first cell, the self driving Tesla's out, I gotta get it. I'm like, nah, nah, I'll try one. You know what? I'll let you guys work out the kinks. I don't glorify number one, the first. You know what? Miss me with the first version of truly anything. Hit me when all the lawsuits are settled and OSHA came in and made you stop using formaldehyde in the formula. Okay? Hit me with round two. Hit me with that, like, update later. Okay? I wasn't out there buying away luggage when it was exploding. Not this guy. They're like, well, look, and they come in yellow and they're so cute, and they can charge your phone. I'm like, I'll buy one of those in a year. If the people who bought them first still have a face, let me know. So you're telling Me these people 400 years ago looked at ships floating in the ocean, doing wheelies? Frankly, floating is a generous term. And we're like, yeah, yeah. I mean, they generally knew how wood worked. They're like, yeah, every time it rains, our house gets a little smaller. So what's the deal? They were willing to hear the pitch from this captain. The captain's like, look, I got a seat for you. You may or may not contract leprosy, scurvy, mold of the mouth, but think about it. But by the way, I guess you didn't really know about any of that stuff unless your immediate family had it, right? Because think about it. Sorry, this makes me laugh so hard. If. If you contracted leprosy or you wouldn't live to tell about it, right? There's no way you could spread the intel without spreading the disease. Like, you couldn't be a doctor or scientist back then because you'd have it. So you'd be a doctor. Like, yeah, let me take a look at your leprosy. Like, you'd be like, oh, whoa, this is a disease we need to document. Then as a doctor, you go home, you saw someone with, like, one ear and, like, you know, like, just an elbow for a head, you would go home. I put the word home in quotes, and you start writing down with your feather, you'd be like, oh, today I saw this man whose toes fell off one by one. But then like, ah, I guess it's Contagious. I don't have a hand anymore. I gotta go tell everyone about this corporate quick because I clearly have it and it spreads fast. So then the doctor put shoes on with his one nub in hand, ran out the door, put on his second shoe, and he was like, gah. And then he started doing the worm through the horse feces and then. And then immediately got viral encephalitis and died. So what I'm saying is there's no way to spread awareness back then about something if the thing you saw killed you. So my point is, if you were in England and you were told anything about going to America, it was a lie. Because no one would have known if anyone did survive the trip and sent the letter back. The writer of that letter had brain eating parasites, which would have impaired their judgment anyway. Fine. But no one wrote letters back. That shady captain wrote fake ones. It's fine. It's like someone in a cult who's like, join our cult. And you're like that. They seem so happy. And then the documentary comes out and you're like, they were drinking bleach for a year. Oh, that's why they were in such a good mood. Also, also, they had to say that no one does a bad idea without trying to get everyone else to join their bad idea. If you made it to America and you were riding home and you were like, join us, it's because you were high on malaria and drunk with the whiskey they gave you to numb your tongue when they had to cut it off because they thought that was the cure for malaria. I'm just saying there's more to the story. When the settlers got to America, it wasn't a chill vibe. Okay? That must have been how bad they thought it was. In England, they're like, this is better. I was in England this past week and I. Let me tell you something, the place is adorable. It's not that bad. Yeah, back then, churches were probably annoying. You know, it's hard to fathom that they were. They wanted to leave because they didn't want to worship that religion and they wanted a new church. It's just weird that the whole thing was we left England because we hated the churches, but now we all wait in line and pay money to go see their churches. I think the thing, honestly, the key to all this, and it is the year of the horse, so this is perfect. The actual key is horse manure. Listen. Yeah, horse girl is. I'm just telling you, there's things that we see that other people don't see, England back then was just horse manure. You know this, right? Every time you left the house, you were knee deep in horse species. Like. Like it was the only people who could handle it were people with wooden legs. Which is why, honestly, leopards did pretty. What pirates did great. But if you were a woman, I bet you were like, dude, I cannot wear this many tablecloths at the skirt and walk through this amount of horse poop on it. It's just not sustainable. I don't know if there was a concept of unsustainable back when the life expectancy was 25. It's like how when you can't figure someone out and then you learn their birth order and you're like, oh, you're the youngest of four. You're a mistake. Ah, sorry. I think back then everything was way less whack if you only have four more years left at best. They. And they kind of look forward to that. I mean, if you're going to die at 25, you know, I mean, when 21 is basically old age, you know, you're like, thank God, I'm gonna. And also the religion back then, they really sold you on dying. Like, dying. You looked forward to that. The best part of living was dying. That is what was genius about these religions. Like, you know, religion is crushing it. Like, back when people didn't fear death, they made dying better than life. Seemed like, you know, like people were like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. If I die and go to the pearly gates of heaven, I'm quite up there in heaven. Am I going to be knee deep in animal crap? No. Well, well, well. I guess I will sign up to fight in this war I don't even understand. Sure, I'll put on a helmet with a mohawk and fight over land I'll never see. Don't mind if I do. These are the details you focus on. When you get older and have seen a lot, you're actually able to step aside from your narcissistic ego and go, wait, wait, wait, wait. I don't want to think about me for a minute. I'm sick of myself. I've had it. And you go, what if I was a person back then? When you no longer think that you are the center of the universe, you really get a lot of insight on how shady the history was told is. Because when you're in high school, you're like, yeah, I have to memorize all this. Yeah, they came over on a boat because they had religion and they made women wear corsets. Gross. But me, me, me, me. What am I going to wear to prom in six months? How do I find the dress that has the corset? Because I can't see the. I cannot acknowledge the cognitive dissonance in balancing. The corsets used to be oppressive and now I pay extra for them. It's sold out. I got to go to another store. I'm going to drive two hours to wear the corset. I'm 15 and I want to wear a corset. Like what? Look, there's no way England was that bad. This is a hot take, but let's say to some people it was. Many people found it just fine or not so bad that they had to get on a boat about it, right? They were going to hoist themselves onto a floating Nightmare with a 2% chance of surviving if sales worked. The people who found out they worked didn't live to talk about it. The people with the most information about how to stay alive back then did not stay alive. Anyone who was alive back then was, by definition, stupid. Because they didn't learn anything. Because if they did, they'd be dead from now on. When someone's like, I know something you don't, I'm like, no, no, you don't. Because if you did, you'd be dead. If you took a big enough risk to actually learn something, you would not survive to tell me about it. The smartest people are dead, and it's a problem if anyone's alive. They live in a safe cocoon of stupidity. This is important because this helps you understand the DNA that we come from, from which we hail. You're telling me that people were just like, ah, ah. These gorgeous churches chiseled with marble and breathtaking stained glass, no, thanks. I'm gonna get on that wooden boat from the pits of hell to maybe live to get frostbite and possibly, if I'm lucky, get to this place where if I do make it, by some miracle, I'll die from a mosquito bite. Salt. My point is, the pilgrims weren't this stupid. They didn't all just have toxoplasmosis or maybe delusional madness, I don't know. Iron deficiencies do crazy things to people. But if you get bitten by 2,000 rats as a baby, maybe. Maybe you're manic and so dehydrated that falling off a boat in 2 billion tons of salt water seems like fun. But nobody went to America knowing the truth of what was going to be. They didn't know it was sold with. Let's Be honest. A dabble of misinformation. The only kind of information at the time, dabble of misinformation, but a whopping scoop of phoe, okay, the Nina, the pint of the Santa Maria, they were truly the original sequest. Listen, okay, anyone who survived the trip, this is what I'm getting to Anyone that survived the trip from Spain, fine, From Italy, fine. Can you imagine it being Italian? Can you imagine 400 years ago seeing Italy and going, nah, there's must be something better. Okay, this is where I'm. To survive the Lord of the Flies situation. That was a six to ten week voyage across the Atlantic. You had to be an absolute animal. Okay? I hardly made it through the 10 hour flight to England in a seat with 50 movies at my disposal. I was like, I was like, ah, my L4 is not liking this reclining seat. Anyone that went to America, okay, into this scam, this snake oil fever dream pipe dream of madness. To survive it, they had to have the DNA of the most Viking Genghis Khan. They had to fight lepers on a freezing cold haunted house made of splinters floating over icy death fe thunder water with pirates throwing cannonballs at them and piranhas just waiting to eat their faces for 10 weeks. Rotten food and meat full of maggots. Avoiding frostbite by jamming their fingers into the corpses of their family members. Worth it because they made it to this new land so they could choose their invisible leader in the sky and not have to go to these gorgeous churches every day like some sheep loser. This was all a small price to pay to go to a land where they could, what? Say whatever they wanted. For some people, they just have to say it. And they're willing to watch people perish around them surrounded by decomposing bodies, wake up next to an eyeball that just fell out of a leprosy head just to say what they want, when they want. Just to pray once a week instead of five. These are the people we come from. If you're an immigrant here, more recently, these are the people you aspire to be or that your parents aspire to be. What I'm trying to get at is that everyone in America descends from a complete and utter nutcase. Next level nut for our ancestors to think it was a good idea to get onto decrepit rickety ass dusty headed boat to maybe get to a place that might be kind of cool just so they could say what they wanted when they wanted to say it means we come from the biggest brats, the biggest babies of all time. Yeah. England had some weird traditions. Being born into power. Creepy, spooky. The fact that they all go bald at 15. Questionable at best. Downright sketchy. Taking everyone's diamonds and then making hats out of them. Sociopathic and a little gay. The roads don't make a lick of sense. Also, you can't just drink all day, guys. Stuff has to get done. They still have police people on horses. Like, what are we, five? Like, yes, I've. The point is the fact that our ancestors were like, nah, I'd rather take my chances. This means that our DNA is that of a complete weirdo. We're weird. We come from weirdos. We descend from audacious, strident, arrogant, big babies. 2026 dates for big baby standup tour now on WhitneyCombings.com the point is, everything in America right now is happening right on time. All the posts I'm seeing about 2025 is like, 2025 was trash. All people did was fight and divide and hurt each other. Given what we come from, given we are a country of only people who want to do what they want when they want to do it. No one telling them what to do. With no concept of like, yeah, this is 80% of what works for me. I'll take it. No concept of compromise, settling. I feel like we're kind of nailing it as a society. To me, it is a weird miracle that we're not in a new civil war truly every day. I mean, we did have to divide into states. Are any other country. Do any other countries divide their country into 50 mini countries? Brats. We couldn't compromise on anything. We were like, you do Dr. Pepper. We don't. Dakota. I don't even. I don't like the ones up there. They're the north, we're the south. What's the difference? Unclear. Could have been one. Dakota. Why did north and South Dakota have to break up? Not only did we leave England, but so much of what we do. We couldn't just leave and be like, not for us. So much of what we do is a direct, like f. U To. We couldn't just not be England. We had to be defined by mocking and disrespecting England. Like, we do ice tea. Their whole thing is tea. That's their ritual. It's like a sacred tradition. You sit down, you drink hot tea, Cuba sugar. In America, we're like, we couldn't just go like, no, thanks on the tea. I hated that. We're like, I want my tea ice cold. I'm going to drink it standing up at night. And you know what? Make half of it? Lemonade. Like. Like what? And you know. You know how you guys in England name things after royalty, like coronation chicken, princess cake, Queen mother's cake? We're naming this the Arnold Palmer. Oh, is he like the president of America? No, he plays golf. We don't care. The United States is literally the Eagles of countries. If America were an NFL team, it would be the Eagles. Guys. Like, it's Rome collapsing. That comparison is. Whatever. To me, it like, sounds good. People when they're like, America's like Rome. You're not going to trick me into thinking you know history. You don't. I'm not. I'm not fooled. America's like Rome. Oh, elaborate. Tell that person to elaborate, then shut up for an hour. Ask them to explain that to you. They can't. America is the Eagles. It should win. Sometimes it does, but when it can't, it's like, I don't. Jaylen was mean to me in the locker room, like, huh. Or maybe it's the Chiefs this year. That's maybe a better one. The point is, I'm trying to make sense of the type of personality that is uniquely stemming from our ancestors who would rather. They would have rather starved to death on a soggy boat than go to church. I know back then England was doing crazier things, you know, but you didn't know what they were doing because if you did, you'd be dead. The ones who knew didn't know for long. This is my point. Okay, well, honestly, I don't know. Sometimes they did it, like, in a public square so everyone could see. I guess that was. That was their mistake. I think we just forget that we descend from people who cannot bite our tongues to save our lives. Refuse would rather die than bite our tongues, that would rather die than shut up for five minutes. We descend from self righteous inpatient, know it all, loud mouse who would rather drown in an icy abyss than be told what to do and what to say. 350 years later, 400 years later, this all. It's kind of right on time. Us tearing each other apart in the comment section. Going to London this past week, which again, charm fest. It's a little much with the tiny little streets. I mean, that would have been my thing 400 years ago. I'd be like, guys, oh, the personal space, guys, the houses, the stairs and the houses is just one slinky. You're Like I said a couple weeks ago, if you want to understand the cylinder of madness that we are barreling through that is rapidly closing in and getting tighter, gagging our concept of reality into a tube that promises, via spit, to get us our genetic information in four to six weeks. Go to San Francisco. Visit it. See what our Benjamin Franklins have chosen to surround themselves with. If you want to understand Americans and the current state of America, go to England. Go to the thing that our ancestors were like. Rather die. Rather die than. Look at this filth, this dreck, these resplendent buildings. It'll show you that charming tradition makes Americans physically ill. We don't care if it makes sense. Americans believe deeply imprinted on our DNA. If it's old, it's wrong. If it's new, it's correct. New sneakers, new labubos. New face, new hair, new idea. If an idea is new, it's better. New is correct. Old just means incorrect. Wrong. Old is wrong. Why? Because I didn't think of it. Someone else thought of it. If I thought of that idea now, it'd be right. But I didn't. They did. America's like the TV business. If an executive who was there before you bought the project and they got fired, the next person is like, it sucks. To the person you looked up to that mentored you, who won all those Emmys. Their project sucked because they aren't you. That's America. If it's not my idea, it's not a good idea. Which is why that is what had to be the default mentally ill notion in order to get on those boats we come from. Your didactic regime sucks. I'm gonna make my own didactic regime that rules. And whatever it is, it's just gonna be the opposite of what you do. You have hot tea, we have iced tea. Iced tea. By the way, hot tea is great. It's delightful. But you thought of it. And I can't have that. It's embarrassing. I'd rather have cold tea that's less of a delicious treat because you didn't think of it. I did. Okay? Yeah. I get sick every two weeks because I drink cold tea. Hot, hot mint tea. No, thank you. I'd rather be sick. It would make me sicker than to drink your idea. America is. I didn't think of it. Core in 2026. We gotta accept that. If they didn't think of it and you did, it's not gonna fly. We don't build other people's dreams, no matter how good their ideas are. We don't. We don't go along with ideas either, even if they make sense, because it has to be ours. This is rugged individualism. That's our thing, not cooperative collectivism. Why are we surprised that families are being torn apart on Facebook? Families were torn apart 400 years ago when a husband went, yeah, my family's cute and all, but there's a chance I can survive this satanic Titanic journey across the sea and I'll be able to say whatever I want here. I can say I love you to my children, but I want to be able to say whatever I want. All the people who thought they were the only people that were right aren't going to want to hear each other's ideas. So all the people. By the way, the idea of free speech back then is so funny because what's the maximum amount of people you could even get together? 4. If I'm around a crowd of four people, I want to be able to say whatever I want. Who cares? So now I think America is due for another mass exodus. But we can't leave England. We already did that. Right. If you came here, you know, you could leave America and go somewhere else, but we're America. And no one that lives in America thinks anywhere could be better than here. So we are making a mass exodus. However, we. We will figure it out. Our DNA is. I'm going to get on that boat. Lol. That boat for two months, the last boat hasn't come back. We've heard nothing. It's been years, but I'm getting on it. It's time. We're fighting too much. We don't like the regime and it's time to now leave America the way we left England. And where will we go, you ask? We will go to the cloud. People are leaving America to go to an alternative reality where no one tells them what to do. They're going to their own reality. The same way that our ancestors left England to come to America. The current version is people are go leaving reality to go to their own reality where they can create their own tribe of pixels. Everyone looks how they want, acts the way they want, where they use their invisible money because banks are old. We hate banks. They're old. We're going to make new fake banks. The girls have blue hair because the other hair colors are old. They don't even want your face to be a face. The same way our ancestors left England and we're like, I can't do this religion. People are going to the clouds going, I can't do your face. Don't look. Why are you looking at me with a face? Are you mental? I'm an American. I don't have to look at a face if I don't want to. Okay, your face will be a wolf. Half wolf, half owl. The one thing you got to realize about these Internet people. They're racist, homophobic, sexist, misanthropic people, is that, yes, they hate everyone who's not them, but they hate themselves first. You go online and they give themselves a totally new head. Half wolf, half robot. Because wolves are old. I'm not doing a straight up wolf. I need it to be half a robot. I need a new species no one ever thought of because it's new, and I thought of it. I don't even like myself because I'm old. I didn't think of me. My parents did. I want to be new. That's why I'm not even me. I'm robowolf87 on Twitch. I'm not a person because people are old, dude. It's kind of that simple. And I think that I just had it. I was calming for some reason to see, like, England wasn't that bad and the people that I was with, whose ancestors stayed in England instead of get. I was like, your life's pretty good. My ancestors could have just done this. Wasn't good enough. Fully just missed the table with both elbows. That's a new one. They were like, no, not interested. I mean, they have bears with hats on in every place. There's teddy bears everywhere. No, too cute. Church is too gorgeous. I don't. I will not be told what to do. That's what we come from, all of us, and we're all a bunch of people that will not be told what to do or what to say. But don't ride elephants. That's where I draw the line. It.