← Good For You with Whitney Cummings
Good For You with Whitney Cummings
They keep releasing PDF files | Good For You with Whitney Cummings #331
00:46:00
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I am on tour doing stand up comedy. March 6th, I'll be in Eau Claire, Wisconsin. March 7th, I'll be in Rochester, Minnesota. March 13th, Sacramento, California. Santa Rosa, California. March 14th, St. Louis, Missouri. March 19th. March 20th, Detroit Rural Oak Cannot Wait. March 27th, Omaha, Nebraska. Then Des Moines, Iowa. March 28th, Philly, I'll be there April 3rd. Then Atlanta. April 10th. If I don't find the guy who was screaming in the Atlanta airport about the Epstein files when I come there on April 10th, I, I, I will open for him.
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You think they're letting him in the airport? Oh, that was the last day.
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Maybe that's why he did it. Maybe he's just like, someone stop me from traveling so much. Jacksonville, Florida. I'll be there April 11th. San Antonio, Texas. May 7th, Oklahoma City. May 8th, Fayetteville, Arkansas. May 9th. See you soon. So this podcast, I don't know if it's gonna be as many HAHAs as you might see at a theater near you. I don't, I'm not. Look, I find horrifying things. The 10, the. What is it? Tension that's built. I cope with hahas. Not everyone does. So the things I'm talking about in this episode, they're hilarious to me. I have something called emotional dyslexia. And if you guys don't have, I can't help you. When things are sad, you cry. Lol. I've seen some disturbing stuff I've heard. I've. This is, this is disturbing to people who are kind of undisturbable. I disturb myself on purpose. That's like my thing. That's what I do. And go like, guys, this is happening. I get obsessed with horrifying things. I always have. That's just been my thing. I think I have. It's not snitch DNA, but it's the DNA of whoever in the tribe was the person that was like, don't eat this berry. Someone would go to eat it and be like, don't eat the berry. Why are you eating the berry? And they're like, because we tuned you out. I've exposed myself to Horrifying things that people, most people don't know about. Or maybe they've heard about it and just blocked it out. Or maybe they heard it from me, so they sort of were like, not sure. For example, the world is running out of helium. I've said it. This is a tricky wormhole to go down. It's disturbing, it's upsetting. And I've been there. I've been living in this. And by the way, us running out of helium doesn't mean, like, the parades are going to stop, the floats are going to get smaller. It's like helium is used to, like, make medical equipment function. Like, pretty, pretty important stuff. Another thing, we all have microscopic bugs in our eyelashes and mites all over our skin. I thought I'd be prepared for the Epstein files. Okay? These bugs are called Demodex mites. And you can't ever get them off you. Which means they shouldn't have told us about it. You shouldn't have told. We didn't need to know this, okay? But they told us. Cockroaches. Did you know cockroaches can live for weeks without a head? I know it. Now. You have to. Also, I learned that information, corroborated it with many a video. And I'm able to move forward. Okay? Toddlers have their adult teeth located directly underneath their eyes. And I get up every morning, I get out of bed with that information in my brain, and I go give my son a hug and a kiss right on top of his cheek teeth. I'm resilient. I could hear something awful. Learn about something awful and keep going. Alligators never die of natural causes. The only thing they die of is starvation because they get so big. That's the only natural way that they die. If they're not killed or they don't get cancer, they don't die of natural causes. And I keep going. I keep going. I still go to Florida on tour, even though there's dinosaurs who don't die in their ponds. The Challenger explosion in 1986. NASA provided the information that some of the astronauts were still alive after the explosion for at least 10 seconds. Long enough to know what was happening. That's information that I've known for a while and I've moved forward. I've, you know, I'll go to birthday parties like I'm a functioning person. You know, the McDonald's woman with the scalding coffee case thing, you know, that the third degree burns were her undercarriage. No one else seems to know that. When I see a suing for burns story. I don't go. This is crazy how much I go, where were the burns? No one else goes, where were the burns? Do you know? In 1919, in Boston, a flood killed 21 people. It wasn't water. It was molasses. The molasses flood. Look it up. Look it up. It might actually make your day better. All these things that used to keep me up at night and give me nightmares are now, like, a fun thing. I'm trying to give you guys things to talk about. Now that is less of a bummer than the files. This will just get someone out of a bad mood. This visual. No, the point is that I've studied a litany of horrifying things, and honestly, I thought I had a handle on being disturbed. But the Epstein files. It almost has me forgetting we have a billion bugs in our eyebrows. It's so horrifying, I've forgotten other. It's dislodged other horrifying things. Like, other horrifying things in my hippocampus are like, whoa, this is more important. This is not worth holding on to. I feel like reading these files. Which, by the way, the bugs also have to do karma. It's. On some level, it's kind of validating. You know, a lot of women are just like, see, See? It's not all men. It's all. It's. It's not even a lot of men. But the ones it is are really bad. Remember when you thought we exaggerated? Remember? Remember I did jokes of my. I think it was my fourth special about shaving us all shaving our hoo has. And it being a little bit of a PDF core just being shaved. Everyone's like, whitney, you hate men. No, I just. I hate PDF files, and a lot of them are men. I don't know what to tell you, okay? And a lot of these guys didn't get invited to the island, so they have to take matters into their own hands. So I don't know what to tell you. The world will now be split between the people who have read the say, Je files and those who have not. And we need some way to label people based on how much they've read. Who's taken a casual gander, right? And who has done, like, a deep dive. Right? To me, it's just. It's weird to have to float it to people when you go out in public to try to assess their level of knowledge about it. Like, I'll say, like, hey, hi. How are you? And someone's like, good. I'm like, oh, good. So you haven't taken a gander at the 3 million emails from Hannibal Lecter. You didn't Google the etymology of Hannibal and find out that in Latin, hannibal means balloon is gracious. Hannah Ball. You didn't get in a wormhole on Ball, did you? You didn't know that ball was a primary deity in ancient Phoenician polytheistic religion. The worship involved sacrifices, including sometimes human and ritualistic prostitution. I love that it's ritualistic. Not just prostitute. It's like a. There's like. We're not. There's a re. There's like some pomp and circumstance. There's a pimp in circumstance. Assuming that was this trafficking rings, religion. It seems like it was. How did no one pick up on this sooner? Honestly, nothing old is ever good when something is from 3,000 years ago. And that's. You're like, that's. It's never the move. You don't get to be like Epstein, to be this modern science guy who's like, we're gonna make designer babies. And then be like, you know, who had some good ideas? The Sedonians. You pick a lane. Worshiping religions from thousands of years ago. Ah, this is the Stoics. All this stuff is the thought version of scuba diving. Nothing up here is good enough for you. For Jeffrey Epstein to be an adult for 40 years, have an office at Harvard, be around smart people and be like, sorry, guys, I've yet to hear a banger from any of you. I'm just gonna go look at some scrolls from 2,000 years ago, back when women were considered furniture. I think they had it. I think they knew. Don't with the Stoics. I know I shouldn't bring the Stoics into this, but I don't. I love a platitude. By the way, I've had my life changed by a fortune cookie before. I can be very basic when it comes to Walmart wisdom. But yeah, and I'm not even asking you to respect women, but the Stoics, the dudes. What is the one? It's. We suffer more often in imagination than in reality. Seneca. You know who suffered more in reality than in their imaginations? The kids you Greeks were dating. I'd like to see the quotes from the boys that you guys were. How about no wisdom as a general rule from people who date kids? Sorry, I just. The point is the files are out and they are being quickly deleted. I do not know the logic of the ones that are being deleted and why I'm like, That's the one you deleted. The whole thing is harrowing. But here's what I'll say. There's a lot of talk about consuming humans. Can I just say that? Here's the thing. It doesn't start with, I'm gonna go eat a human. All right? Because people go. I don't know if that's. That's where people kind of go. Like, they shut off. I don't know if it happened or not. I do know if it did. This is how even a psychopath would go. We can't get away with that. It progresses slowly with dehumanizing, scientific, like, mumbo jumbo. The key to all this is just mumbo jumbo. You're not consuming humans. You're getting an oral transfusion of platelets. It's a stem cell injection taken orally. Like, mumbo jumbo is the key to all this. All right? Now, when I had my kid, there was a service where they take your cord blood and the stem cells. It's a whole thing, and they. You know, and you can't not do it. When you're a single mom about to have a kid in 2024, you will say yes to literally anything that they scare you with. Dude, I bought something that was a. I never used it, but I thought I would. I was so scared and delirious. But it was a thing that shakes your. Shakes your baby at night to go back to sleep. I was like, that sounds like I need it. Like, they were like, well, your baby won't. They play into every fear you have. So I get this thing, and it's about. I mean, look, it was also at a time where truly everyone we know started getting random cancer at, like, 28. And the whole thing is, if your kid ever gets cancer, you're gonna use your umbilical cord blood to save his life. Say no more. Handled. Hit my PayPal. Yes, I pay that bill every month. But I'm sure some people forget or they move or their credit card gets stolen and they. For. They accidentally. They think they're paying for it, and they're not, and their thing expires. Or maybe some of the people that froze their core blood are whistleblowers for corporations. So they just disappeared and their cord blood's still sitting in there. I don't know. After a couple years, they can probably do whatever they want. Like, same with your storage unit. If you leave your stuff in a storage unit and don't pay and don't come get it, that's finders keepers. Like, it's they. They'll sell it, they'll put it in a. They'll turn it into a rage room, whatever they do. So with cord blood, the goal is to never use the cord blood. It's like insurance, right? You never want to have to use it. I'm sure after, I don't know, a while, a billionaire can be like, hey, do you have any batches of cord blood from people who ran out of money? Because we will happily take that off your hands. But it's not presented creepy. Enter mumbo jumbo. They sell it as like, oh, no, we're doing research to change the life of millions of people. And by that I actually mean keep a couple of psychopaths alive. The point is, if you say no, we will just have some people come by and take it by force. But we would love to just make this a research driven transaction. Hey, y', all, quick break. Fashion icon here. You guys know that I feel like I'm pretty self aware in terms of going like, I'm not good at this. I'm terrible at this. I shouldn't have done that. But when it comes to fat ch, I crush it. I'm not necessarily wearing the clothes you would wear that are cool, but I'm always wearing the coolest clothes for me. Does that make sense? I just think I crush it. I go to Revolve for all my threads. Honestly, that's where I go when I need to look like I have my life together on very short notice. I have a show. I go to Revolve.com all my personalities can find clothes there. All the women I pretend to be, all the women I aspire to be, all the women I'll never be, it's all on there. There's truly like a hundred thousand styles across fashion, beauty and home. So whatever you want, it's truly going to be there. And this by the way, Elevated Basics. That's my whole vibe right now is Elevated Basics. This is reformation. I got it. Revolve Brown cozy. I could be 70s, the future. The 80s I could be in any era. Also, there's new arrivals every day, so I can avoid working. Thank you so much. Revolve. Head to Revolve.com Whitney shop my edit and take 15% off your first order with code Whitney. Fast two day shipping each easy returns is literally the only place you ever need to shop from Revolve.com Whitney to shop my favorites and get 15% off your first order with code Whitney. Offer ends March 8th. So happy shopping. Support for today's episode comes from Square, the system powering truly half the places that I go at all times. If you've ever tapped your card on your phone and thought magic, I'm a magician. That was probably Square, my favorite little, like, cafe in la. You just go in, you use Square, and it's I everyone that uses. All the businesses that use Square are always cool. They're just cooler. I love Square. Quick checkout digital receipts. Cause, you know, receipts are dicey. Dicey, dicey, no touchy. Sometimes they even have loyalty points for these square readers, right? I'm like, yes, please. I deserve to be rewarded for my mocha addiction. I believe I deserve a trophy, quite frankly. For how many times a day I put coffee and chocolate down my gullet for $12 when my son. When my son's like, why can't we afford to go to college? Because mommy needed the hot cocoa. Zoom Zooms Square is the platform behind so many businesses you already love. Whether someone is selling smoothies or cutting hair, fixing bikes, running a boutique, whatever it is, Square gives them one connected system to make payments, manage inventory, run payroll, send invoices, and track everything in one place. It's not just a point of sale. It's hardware that works in person and on the go. Software for staff and marketing, and even banking tools like Square checking so you can get paid instantly. No contract, no hidden fees, no IT degree required. It works even if you're not a dork. It works if you're one tiny shop or growing business with multiple locations. If you're starting a business or running one that deserves better tools. Square helps you sell, manage, and grow without slowing down. Right now, you can get up to 200 off Square hardware@square.com. go/wh Whitney. That's Square sq u a r e dot com. Go slash Whitney. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today. So, look, let's face it. I have a face. And I don't know what to tell you. I know what I'm doing. I know what I'm doing with the face. When I started using Joan's Road Beauty, I got obsessed with this. All right? Because first of all, the Miracle Balm is a total game changer. It makes your skin look better. Instead of just hiding bad skin under makeup, it actually improves your own skin. And I just. You just put it on your fingers. Put it over. I can't explain. It makes you look like hot marzipan. I don't know how else to explain it. So the Miracle Balm is like my basic. Like, bae. I just Put it all over my skin. All over. And then this guy. This is my palette, my miracle bomb palette. Okay. It is so. Look at that. Boom, blah dao. It's got. I use this as my blush. This is my bronzer. I put a little of this like, gah, gah right in there. Gah. Is that the most beautiful dragon you've ever seen? Maybe. Their stuff is clean, high performing. They nourish instead of clogging your pores. The tinted moisturizer, it's called Just Enough tinted moisturizer. Super lightweight. Evens out redness. It's just. I've been waiting. We've all been waiting for this brand. I don't know what else to tell you. There's an eyeshadow stick that is very creamy. Just very simple. You just use your fingers. You're not using a brush that's full of Lord knows what's on all these brushes. I would rather wash my hands. Miracle Bomb Jones Road Beauty. Then I'm just gonna. Ah, ba da da da. Ba da da da da da da da da. Modern day makeup that's clean, strategic and multifunctional for effortless routines. For a limited time, our listeners are getting a free shimmer face oil on their first purchase. When they use Code Whitney at checkout, just head to Jonesroadbeauty.com, use code Whitney at checkout. After your purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show. Tell them our show sent you. We can make it a charity so you don't pay taxes on it. Like, we'll handle all the. You will. You can honestly retire after we take a couple of mil cords off your hands. Okay. And then they go to dinner parties. There were all these dinner parties this guy was organizing, and someone there. There must have been a woman at one of these dinner parties who was older than 25. And at some point she said, you know, oh, you're using umbilical stem cells to cure, you know, whatever. What was he working on? The simulation. The fact that the guy's like, we're at a simulation, but spends all day trying to cure every disease, like witches pig a lane. And someone must have said, you know, my friend ate her placenta. I will tell you this. I do know it's true that at these big fancy dinners, someone's always talking about eating their placenta. Rich people love it. When I was pregnant, truly, any woman I ran into that had a G wagon was like, are you going to eat your placenta? I was like, no, I'm Not. It's a bag of poison. There's some kind of law in California that if you eat your placenta, you legally have to tell 12 people a day about it. So Epstein heard this somewhere and went, oh, yeah, placenta. I'll just. You know what? I really am looking to donate to a women's obstetrics unit at every hospital that's not California. Where they're not eating them, where they throw them away, okay? And look at all these hospitals. I'm sure there's nurses that need to make some extra money. And he goes in, he's like, I'll hit your Venmo, you throw some extra placentas. They were gonna go into the trash. How about just throw em into an empty Theranos machine? I do feel like a lot of hospitals still have a lot of, like, Theranos machines that don't work. They just use them as, like, Tupperware, whatever. So drop the Theradose machine outside the back. You know, I'll have someone come pick it up. And then they're making smoothies. They're making stem cell smoothies, placenta smoothies. They're making cord blood smoothies. Fine. That's not technically consuming humans, right? But we're comfortable with the idea. And then all these old monsters visit the island, and they want this guy to like him. Here's a smoothie. And they're like, I feel great. Look, I'm not even aging. The reason psychopaths don't age, it's because they don't feel guilt or compunction. They don't make cortisol when they see a child scream. They don't age. So then these smoothies are, you know, doing their thing, kind of famous on the island. They go to China. He's always in China. And they're like, dude, these smoothies. And they're like, ah, dude, we kill bears just for the gallbladder and sharks just for their fins. I mean, we're not jerks about it. We don't go get them from the wild. We just. We raise them so they don't know anything else. We just raise them for that purpose. We breed out of them everything that makes them an animal that makes them fight because we would lose. And they just live their whole lives in a bin from the container store so that rich people can live longer. So only so we can solve the world's problems. That's the only reason we want to live longer. Okay? The main one being, of course, poor people. And Jeff's like, that's. We're trying to get rid of poor people. That's our thing. We live forever. They live barely. Maybe poor people only exist to. To be our source of energy. This is the mental. This is where the reality of these people go, right? So Jeffrey's like, well, I'll just farm them. By the time they get to this. It's, like, so obvious. He's like, get. Duh. No one gets hurt. You're not taking a baby from a mom. They're like cows making milk. We need to drink milk. It's not. It's. It. It gets very. It's fuel for a car. Like it gets when you're a psychopath. It gets very distilled. Okay? And he's already, like, filing the Nobel Peace Prize, like, paperwork for that. Like, he will win a Nobel Peace Prize for this idea, which, by the way, you know me, I have to say. Nobel Peace Prize, established by the Swedish inventor Alfred Nobel, funded by the interest he made from making dynamite and other explosives. Anyway, can't think of anything more peaceful. The point is, the files are out. All of our psyches are at stake. I've never felt more clear. I feel alive. In a time of chaos, this is where I shine. All right? I did think World War 3 would be between America and China or maybe America and Iran or something, but it is between us and our own minds. Are we gonna let this horror show break us or. I personally will. I am. I plan to do just that. Okay. But I just think we need some precautions. All right? I'm like, let's go into this haunted house. But let's all kinda. Let's. We need to. I think we treat it like Covid. So Covid precautions could actually come in handy now that some of us are sort of mainlining these files and other people are, you know, on threads like, Whitney Cummings performed in Saudi. That's our biggest problem. Like, some people think a female comedian is, like, a big problem and not the Epstein file. So fake feminists that are like, oh, we're pro woman. And then the second one makes a mistake and apologizes. They're like, get her. Some people know more about the Epstein files than others. Some are deep into it. Some people know about the triplets and some don't. Some know about Cinderella and some don't. We need some sort of labeling system. I went to a dinner last night, and I sat between someone who was briefed on the trapdoor and the sulfuric acid and someone that doesn't even know what an angel trumpet plant is. I was like, this seating Chart was wrong. Guys, you can't just sit me next to someone that doesn't know about the angel trumpet plant. I don't have time to explain to you that a Trump implant could turn a human into a very agreeable zombie. I don't have time to teach you about the flora used by criminals to sedate victims, because if I tell you, you're gonna think I'm crazy. But if you read it yourself, you will go crazy, and then we can finally be friends. If we just treated this like Covid. Covid. 15. Because that's the oldest age of the girls in these files. Frankly, we should have to let people know if we've read them or not. And let's bring back masks. This is when we should have masks on. Everyone could just be in a mask. Not because of germs, but just because. Nobody should have to talk to anyone who's at a different Epstein Files level. Like, if Epstein was Scientology, I'd be a thetan. But some people are just like, oh, my God. Well, I mean, at least they got Ghislaine in prison. You think that's Ghislaine in there? I. This is, like, amateur. This is amateur hour. Can we all. We all just have to wear masks? Because I can't. I can't. I can't bring up the photo of the fake Ghislaine every time I see someone at Starbucks who wants to make small talk. Okay? I. I have to manually shut my mouth if. If the person I'm talking to has not seen the imposter. Ghislaine. If you think that is Ghislaine Maxwell in the prison footage, good for you. Honestly, good for you. I'm jealous. Frankly, the prison footage of Ghislaine Maxwell, I'm going to be. It's honestly insulting. This is a man wearing the glasses with the fake nose just attached that you see at, like, Spencer's Gifts. This is like a face from a magic shop. This is not Ghislaine Maxwell. This person. This is what would happen if the guy who makes the Muppet babies made Ghislaine Maxwell out of cookie dough. This is not her. I mean, I didn't catch it. I didn't catch it before. I did not catch it before. It didn't occur to me that they think we were this dumb. If me not checking to see if one of the biggest child traffickers in history is really them makes me dumb, I'm glad I'm dumb. I'd rather live in a world where my default isn't. Well, they probably kidnapped some woman they found who looked just like Ghislaine. They just went through auditions for. Who else auditioned for Janet from Three's Company in the 80s, put contact lenses in that made her look like she had zero empathy, and just carted her out. While the real Ghislaine is. What? Doing what? Doing what? Having drinks in St. Tropez with the CEO of an adoption agency? Buttering up another high school photo company? This is a new level. This is a new level. As someone that feels like I was very familiar with the levels. This isn't even a clone. This is, like, a goofy impost. Lorne Michaels would not even allow this on snl. It doesn't even look close enough to be funny. I mean, who. Who pushes out an imposter without at least giving the imposter a nose job? Like, at least give her was. Dude, that was probably the selling point for the imposter anyway. Like, a bunch of men in suits walk up to this woman at the mall. There's no easy way to say this. We are a faction of the government that covers up international crimes and horrors. We enable sadistic sociopaths who wreak havoc and get massages at Build a Bear Island. And it is a long story, but frankly. Frankly, we don't even know the story. We might not even know what's going on. We're pretty sure that they're doing all of this to further the advancement of science and longevity. It doesn't ever really add up, but that is what they tell us. So I. The point is, we need you to. We need you. We need you to help protect the most disgusting monsters on Earth. Why? Well, they have tapes of us doing horrifying things. We're the monsters. We're some of the monsters. And now we have to pull you out of this mall. Well, he flew us to an island. He gave us tea with angel trumpet plants. I thought it was a juice cleanse. I thought I was gonna live forever. But no. Now all my friends are shoved out a trapdoor into the ocean. They thought that they were going in a hot tub. Do you know what sulfuric acid smells like? Anyway, the point is. I'm sorry these zip ties are so tight, ma', am, but we do need you to come with us. You can pick up your engraved box from Things Remembered another time. All right, y', all, let's talk about gray hair for a second. I remember seeing my first gray hair. I think I was, like, 8, 9. And I don't know what to do. I'm like, Do I pluck it? Do I dye it? What I love about Aerie is that it's not about hiding grays after the fact. They actually help slow them down so you can keep your natural color longer and get thicker, fuller, shinier hair in the process. There's only one gene that causes gray hair and it's only about 30% of why we go gray. The other 70% is a lifestyle thing. I didn't know that till now. Aerie is clinically proven to slow gray hair growth and support thicker, fuller hair in as little as three to six months. With consistent use, their system works from the inside and out. Not today Gray. That's the supplement that supports internal health and boost melanin production. To the root is a lightweight, oil free daily serum powered by their melanine complex that you put right on your scalp. So the scalp actually ages six times faster than your face. So this is basically an anti aging routine for your hair. Join over 300,000 people who are already using Aerie. I'm next up, folks. I'll tell you that right now, most people cover their graves, but you can actually slow down their progression. For a limited time. Our listeners get 15% off by using code Whitney at aerya R-E-Y.com and use code Whitney and you're all set. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them and just, you know what? Say us. This episode is sponsored by Superpower. 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This is. And the moment it was picked to be the imposter was like, wait, so I have to pretend to be one of the biggest criminals of all time, Ghislaine Maxwell. And because of how much society has destroyed women's ability to like anything about their own faces or bodies, the woman was like, okay, does this mean I get a free nose rub? I am in. Yes, please. I will absolutely pretend to be. What do I need to do? Pretend to traffic kids, Pull people's teeth out so there's no evidence. They're like, no, you don't need to do any of that. Just whatever I need to do to get a nose job. Install new teeth. Jeffrey ordered. That was a wild email. Ordered other teeth into a different head to throw them off the tracks. Anything for a nose job. And they were like, yeah, yeah, we'll probably have to give you a nose job at some point, but I'm sure the guy who's about to burn off your fingerprints can knock out a nose job. So this woman, I don't know where she goes. All I can think about is this imposter woman. Where. Where does she. What happens? I mean, do they audition them? Are there a lot of them? Maybe a lot of them came in and auditioned. I don't. I know it feels like my OCD is taking over right now, but I am. This is important. This is maybe the wildest part of all this to me is, you know, I've always been obsessed with Russia and the Russia and the clones and stuff. Cuz Putin has a bunch of clones or imposters. And because America and Russia are ultimately heated rivalry, I mean, the show is basically A metaphor of America and Russia. They hate each other, but right next to hate is, like, love infatuation. And, like, why did I think of what you did and do it? I hate you because I want to be you. America has always done what Russia does. This is a video where Joe Biden may have had an imposter show up for him. I don't know. That's probably him. He looks weird, but being the President makes you look weird. What's wrong with. Is it so bad to just put a double in every now and then when the president needs to have surgery or go get cloned? The imposter is just so they can get cloned. They do decoys of cars for the president, so you never know which car he's in. I just. I guess the real jam is if the imposter gets assassinated. That's where you're in a pickle. Like, what do you do? Like, the President has been assassinated. He survived and magically is more himself than ever. He's back to his original height. Anyway. Okay, enough about the doubles. Because I had one made of myself, and it's probably why I'm so pro double. Sane people do this. The real being in my bonnet right now is this guy Lex Wex. Les Wexner. Les Wexner. Les Wexner. So everyone is kind of got their own. What would the word be? That's not trigger. Like is responding to something different in the files based on maybe what sort of aligns with their personal life Horrors. And the Les Wexner stuff is currently the thing pissing me off the most. Because our whole life growing up was defined by stores and brands that Les Wexner owned and that Epstein was power of attorney of Right. Victoria's Secret Limited, Abercrombie and Fitch, Bath and Body Works. Those brands were our life. Those brands were all we wore. Basically, these two men curated everything we wore and how we smelled and the underwear we bought. The underwear we wore. I always thought it was weird. I always was like, Victoria's Secret. Like, why does she have a secret? Who's telling Victoria to keep a secret? It might as well be called Victoria. Shh. Like, why can't she tell anyone this secret? What's the secret? Bath and Body Works. The scents always were weird to me. Why is one of the scents called Champagne Toast? We were 14. Why is one of the lotions Black cherry Merlot? I was a child. Why do you want me to smell like what our creepy volleyball coach like to drink after practice while reviewing the tapes? One of the Bath and Body Works scents is saltwater breeze. Don't normalize young girls liking being on an island. Beaches don't smell good. They don't. They smell worfy and fishy. Don't glamorize it so that you can brainwash young girls to think beach water smells good. So when they're staring down at the trapdoor of the ocean, they're like, Loyal. Loyal to you. This makes me so mad. Is the name of a smell at Bath and Body Works called loyal to you? What? We're 15. I hate. I hate this. Stop training teenagers to be loyal to anyone except their orthodontist and their poly pocket or whatever would it be now. Lububu or a pokey? The. The cliff they're going to jump off to catch their Pokemon. Les Wexner owned the Limited and the Limited two, which Limited to spelled wrong. God forbid teen girls know how to read. Epstein did this whole thing where he's like, yeah, no one should learn how to read. Like, it's just. What? Can we stop misspelling things for kids? Toys R Us. I'm on to you. Why is the R backwards? There's a educational school for kids called Come on K U, M, O, N. Guys. Ah. Can someone throw me a bone? I'm a dyslexic mother with add. I need the letters to be the right way. All right, Abercrombie and Fitch. Abercrombie and Fitch had already been revealed to be run by racist creeps. But I always thought it was weird. Why were the shorts underwear? I was definitely more of a tomboy emo, like Tori Amos horse nerd. So I didn't wear booty shorts. I'd go in there. I remember thinking, like, what? Where are the shirts, guys? We have different definition of shirt. Abercrombie and Fitch had a different definition of shirt. Their shirts were white tank tops that were just see through. They were just see through crop tops. They were not. That's a bra, guys. It's a corduroy lingerie store. They don't sell jean shorts. They sell denim underwear. Denim lingerie. The employees would also be shirtless. You would walk in. It would be like male models to club music. And the perfume was. You would smell the like. You'd walk in and just be like, probably Angel Trumpet potpourri. To know that the DNA of Victoria's Secret is like a couple of PDF files. Basically, the models have always been too skinny. We knew that. That. Which is a PDF file thing, like, with no butts or not like men like Butts. The fact that the Victoria's Secret girls are called angels, it's like angels are dead. Dead hot girl. Here's the dead hot girls. Like, I hate it. We live in hell. I mean, maybe I'm reading into it too much, but the Victoria's Secret perfumes. One of the perfumes is Tease. There is a Victoria's Secret fragrance called Deep Water. Guys, it's a little. Now this is just disrespectful. It's like, come smell like the bottom of the ocean where you might soon live if you were one of those cuties that we saw in a high school yearbook. The fact that we can see these files means the case is closed. I think people aren't getting that. They're like, well, why aren't they investing? Because the case is closed. They saw it all and were like, nah, nah, don't. Don't see anything. Nope, nothing to see here. Case closed. Right? So why would this person get away with this for this long and then the documents come out and all be accurate?
- [43:08]
C
I think the people that need the most protection from justice in this case, they're all aware that they're probably going to be dead in 15 years, and they just need another 15 years of everybody being confused. Yeah, he was in a courtroom with a judge talking about kids.
- [43:27]
B
By the time they get it together and get the thing and the blah and the courts and the.
- [43:30]
C
And it'll take until they're all dead to figure out.
- [43:33]
B
Well, it's interesting. Now all of a sudden, like, the longevity stuff, they're like, we're not going to consume any more humans because we don't. Who wants to live forever? Okay, look, look, look, look. All of the longevity science is going to stop now because everyone's like, okay, you know, all the men that were running it are like, let's wrap this up. I wanted to live forever when I could get away with all this. Now let's call it in 10, 15 years. I mean, well, now Prince Andrew's been arrested, right?
- [43:55]
C
I did see him in cuffs.
- [43:56]
B
Well, that was a sex thing. But I think he's also been arrested.
- [43:59]
C
Oh, those weren't cops, were they?
- [44:02]
B
Fuzzy. They were pretty cute. Prince Andrew was arrested, which has not. I don't think a member of a royal has been arrested in like over 300 years. It's like unheard of. Did he post a meme with a joke? There was free speech, violence. He's like, they're like, no, this is just a free speech violence. This is just. You made fun of the king. You can't do that in England. There's nothing to do with Epstein. So he got arrested. I mean, a lot of people are resigning. A lot of these people are resigning. So you're telling me that a psychopath is gonna call it before anyone's gonna. They have better judgment than our government. They're like, I was a bad. I should go.
- [44:51]
C
Yeah.
- [44:51]
B
And the government's like, no, no, no, no. You have another couple years. These generational wealth. People are oppressed problem.
- [44:59]
C
There's a level of boredom that comes with that.
- [45:01]
B
Said it.
- [45:02]
C
That's it. And they need to. They're trying to think of, like, everything's a button that I push. So the only challenge or adrenaline or whatever is pushing the options that I'm not allowed to push.
- [45:18]
B
But also, if your daddy was a billionaire, he was probably a psychopath. That's genetic DNA loads the gun, environment pulls the trigger. If you didn't. If you were born with empathy, when you have enough people being your servant when you're six on a boat, you lose it pretty fast. We can get whatever you want, whenever you want. And I can get a tiger for my 16th birthday. And Da, da, da, da, da, da. So it's a breeding ground for people that have never had a consequence in their life and that believe they're, you know, have a God complex born into. But also, they find each other and go, you're the only one that would understand. Like. And they were the same. We're these. We're victims of a gilded cage. And the fact is they're all probably off. And then they make a game where they hunt humans, traffic humans. Like, that's the only thing left. That's the only thing they. They only want what they can't have. And the thing they can't are crimes. I'm not a psychiatrist, but I've had to talk to a lot of them about this personality type. When people like this prey on humans, malignant narcissism, psychopaths. I had to learn about this with, you know, when famous people go for underage, the whole thing is like, that they make the person feel. And they feel as if they're doing that person a favor. Like, I picked you. I could have had anyone. And I chose you because you're special. And I see something no one else sees. You're an old soul. You're too smart for no one understands you. The whole thing. And she speaks in acronyms. She's not an old soul. And that's a big thing with these people too, is Like, I'm gonna let you in the treehouse. You get to come in Bohemian Grove. Like, you don't. You're supposed to. You're one of us. And they can get away with so much with that. You can get away with so much with that. And convincing someone, like, you're one of us. You're this close to being one of us. You belong here. You are gonna get in my belly, but you belong here, and I've chosen you to experiment on. It seems like it was all through. Like, I'm experimenting, like, where you. This is a. You've been chosen to increase the longevity of gods. We need special DNA in your special DNA kind of thing. And that's. He was trying to make, like, designer babies. So it's easy to get someone, you know. Yes. They're obviously PDF files who are attracted to that. But Age group. But when you are that age, when you're it. When I was 18, if someone was like, hey, you're gonna get everything you want for the rest of your life. You're gonna get a place to live. We're gonna pay off your debt. You're gonna get. He promised them, like, you're a certified massage therapist now. You get to go to school, college. I just need some of your DNA. Because you're so perfect and no one understands you. I'd be like, dude, I'm in. It's easy to do, is all I'm saying. It's, like, easy to convince someone, you know? And it's easy to convince yourself because it seems like there were girls that were there for long periods of time. From what I'm seeing in these files, which I don't think I understood. I guess it's easy to go, like, I'm leaving next week. I'm leaving this weekend. I'm leaving tomorrow. And it seems like they all thought they were. And then it was like, thought they were just going to get in and get out and maybe take care of their student loans. And then it was like, hell, I just love that. I'm already defending the girls that were of age that were involved. From the guys being like, well, they're the ones that got on the boat because they wanted money. Like, no. Like, I'm already fighting with the guys at the Comedy Store in my head. I'm rehearsing. Anyway, I. Yeah, I did see some comments that were like, well, the girls that weren't underage, like, they just wanted to hang out with rich people. What did you think was gonna happen? It's like they thought they were gonna hang out with rich people and then go back to their apartment, not take a hot tub and sulfuric acid. Okay, guys, wild times. Love you guys. Don't ride elephants. Bye.
- [50:46]
D
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- [51:14]
B
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