Maury Povich: You ARE the Father... of Reality TV

Summary

Good Guys Podcast: “Maury Povich: You ARE the Father… of Reality TV”

Air Date: April 23, 2026
Host: Josh Peck & Ben Soffer
Guest: Maury Povich
Network: Dear Media

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Episode Overview

This episode is a lively, nostalgia-filled conversation with Maury Povich, the legendary daytime talk show host credited with shaping reality television through his iconic paternity test segments. Hosts Josh and Ben dive deep into Maury’s career and the impact of his show, explore the cultural significance of reality TV, reminisce about classic delis and New York bagels, and volley plenty of jokes around the themes of family, identity, and food. The episode also features listener emails (“Moron Mail”), advice segments, and a signature “What Are You, Nuts?” gripe session.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. School, Learning & Practical Skills (00:00—06:24)

• Josh and Ben kick off with a spirited discussion about going back to school and the value of learning as adults.
  • Ben would study marine biology, “What are you, a sitcom actor in the 90s? Marine biology, Mr. Cosby.” [00:21]
  • Both reminisce about how their appreciation for learning grew only after leaving school.
• They lament the loss of practical classes in schools—like Home Ec and shop class—and argue for their modern importance.
  • Josh: “If you cannot cook for yourself and your family, like, a couple basic meals, you're useless.” [05:06]

2. Cruise Weddings & Changing Traditions (07:40—10:57)

• Discussion on the growing trend of cruise ship weddings:
  • Both see the appeal: “Everything’s taken care of, all inclusive... the gluttony, it just makes sense on a cruise.” [09:09]
  • But Ben highlights the lack of privacy: “You’re there with other people...sloppy passerbys...unless you have your own private part of the cruise.”

3. Modern Dating & Personal Choices (11:09—14:15)

• Reacting to a New York Post article about a 35-year-old woman choosing to remain a virgin.
  • Ben: “Sounds very lonely...it’s not the sex piece...you want human interaction.” [11:58]
• Digression into food—ordering sushi on Sundays and sushi etiquette (Bourdain’s rules).

4. New York Deli Culture & Food Debates (20:03—22:39)

• Food nostalgia with Maury:
  • Favorite New York delis: Carnegie, Katz's, EJ’s, Second Ave Deli, Pastrami Queen, Langers.
  • Hot pastrami as the true test of a deli: “If you’re going to a deli, Josh, and you’re ordering turkey, that’s a wood of your nuts. Get outta here with that.” [21:41]
  • Bagels: “You could never find a bagel in LA as good as a New York bagel.” [22:05]

5. Maury’s Marriage & Career Insights (22:41—26:17)

• On his marriage to Connie Chung:
  • “She calls me Mr. Chung.” [23:12]
  • The importance of shared career experiences and giving each other perspective about workplace stressors.

6. The Origin and Authenticity of the Paternity Test Show (24:04—26:00)

• Maury credits executive producer Amy Rosenbloom for the paternity test idea.
  • Maury intentionally didn’t know the results ahead of time: “I never want to feel that I’m more important than anybody that I’m talking to or the audience—that’s when the whole inflection of ‘you are the father’ came.” [25:02]
  • Emphasizes the realness of the show, in contrast to Jerry Springer’s staged drama:
    “Jerry gave me the best compliment—he used to say, ‘Maury’s the real deal, my show is wrestling.’” [25:39]
• Cites a New York Times stat: “10% of all kids in this country are with the wrong father.” [26:43]

7. The Lasting Impact & Social Responsibility of the Show (27:00—31:03)

• Follow-up with families: Maury describes bringing guests back years later to see if fathers became involved.
  • “That’s how I...tried to get these parents into these kids’ lives so that the child will have a better chance.” [29:09]
  • On critics: “No, I’m just trying to get parents into these kids’ lives.”
• Memorable moments: The famed “two fathers, one set of twins” story (superfetation):
  • “He was the father of one, but not the other. Fraternal twins... You can have two fathers.” [30:14]

8. Reality TV as a Maury Legacy (34:45—36:44)

• Maury recalls the “golden age of daytime talk” and asserts that reality TV as we know it descended from his genre:
  • “There would be no Kardashians, there would be no housewives, there would be none of those reality shows. All of them are spinoffs of our shows in the 1990s.” [35:35]

9. Modern Media & Podcasting Life (36:51—39:30)

• Maury enjoys the freedom podcasting offers compared to network TV:
  • “The handcuffs are off… now I can bring on guests and if I have some kind of similar experience in my life, sure, I can reveal it.” [37:13]
  • On promoting his own podcast: “You have to be talent, but you also have to have strategy and you have to help it grow.” [39:07]

10. Listener Advice: “Moron Mail” (44:28—55:01)

• Wildest listener submission: Man having an affair with his Aunt Kathy.
  • Maury: “This is just… you can’t go down this. You can’t. Oh, this is… yeah, this is not working.” [45:28]
  • After much disbelief, Maury quips, “I think I should come out of retirement and get the wife and have a lie detector test.” [46:46]
• Etsy shop dilemma: Should friends and family get discounts?
  • Maury is firm: “Charge them. Charge them the going rate. There’s no friends and family. Not in this.” [47:43]
• Reconciling with friends/family after betrayal (dad runs off with friend):
  • Maury: “I could love my father, but I’ll be civil to my friend.” [53:11]
  • Josh: “Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy? ...a level of civility will allow you to have a nicer time, because if you're sitting and hating the wife at brunch, you're not going to enjoy the eggs Benedict, you know?” [53:22]

11. Food Talk: Fry Preferences & Favorite Cuisines (53:43—57:07)

• Maury is a self-confessed fish skeptic (except for Dover sole and Nova).
• Agreement that McDonald’s fries are “the best fry of all ever.” [56:50]
• Disdain for steak fries: “They shouldn’t be called fries.” [57:06]

12. “What Are You, Nuts?” Gripe Session (57:39—61:16)

• Ben: “Wax hands at bar mitzvahs—who approved children dunking their hands in molten wax?” [57:47]
• Josh: “Food pics on social media where a bite’s already been taken. Listen, fatso...” [59:29]
• Maury: “What are you, nuts? For people who can’t stop their tats at the neck and go to their face.” [59:34]
  • “Even if you wanted to take them off, you're scarred for life.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Maury on paternity reveals:
  “I never want to feel that I’m more important than anybody that I’m talking to or the audience. And that’s when the whole inflection of ‘you are the father’ or ‘you are not…’—because I was as surprised as anyone.” [25:02]
• Jerry Springer on Maury:
  “Jerry gave me the best compliment—he used to say, ‘Maury’s the real deal, my show is wrestling.’” [25:39]
• On reality TV’s roots:
  “There would be no Kardashians...none of those reality shows. All of them were spinoffs of our shows in the 1990s because we basically created reality TV.” [35:35]
• Life lesson:
  “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” —Josh [53:22]
• On iconic catchphrases on the street:
  “I would walk down a street and there’d be a construction site and the hard hat would go in, ‘Hey, Maury, I’m not the father!’” —Maury [48:28]

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Important Timestamps

• School/Learning Chat: 00:00–06:24
• Cruise Weddings/Dating Talk: 07:40–14:15
• Maury Joins, Deli Talk: 20:03–22:39
• Maury on Marriage and Paternity Show Origins: 22:41–26:17
• On Show’s Impact/Follow-ups: 27:00–31:03
• Reality TV Legacy: 34:45–36:44
• Podcasting & Media: 36:51–39:30
• Moron Mail (Aunt Kathy, Etsy, betrayal): 44:28–55:01
• Food Chats/Fry Wars: 53:43–57:07
• What Are You, Nuts?: 57:39–61:16

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Tone & Language

The episode is a blend of heartfelt and hilarious, with Jewish humor, friendly ribbing, and bits of wisdom woven throughout. Maury is affable, humble, and direct, consistently emphasizing honesty, impact, and the ongoing influence of his work. Josh and Ben keep the energy high with relatable anecdotes and quick wit, creating a vibe that’s simultaneously warm, irreverent, and insightful.

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Final Thoughts

For fans of pop culture, daytime TV history, and slice-of-life comedy, this episode is gold. Highlights include candid behind-the-scenes stories from Maury, comedic theorizing about modern etiquette, and a refreshing honesty about messy real-life scenarios.

Don’t miss Maury’s own show, On Par with Maury Povich, for more stories and guest interviews.

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If you enjoyed this episode, subscribe and rate 5 stars—otherwise… What are you, nuts?

Transcript

[A]

Mazamarans. Welcome back to the Good Guys podcast. Ben, I have a very important question.

[B]

Tell me, please tell me, if you

[A]

were going to go back to school, what would you study?

[B]

It's so hard to say, Josh, because what I want to say is marine biology.

[A]

What are you, a sitcom actor in the 90s? Marine biology, Mr. Cosby.

[B]

That said, it wouldn't pay the bills. But I would love to learn about the deep sea, Josh. I would love to learn about the deep sea. Also, as you know, I've been watching my unbelievable documentary. Pbs, Josh. Okay, pbs about New York. Let me tell you, maybe a little American history. I love learning, Josh. Now that the stakes are so low, nobody's testing me. I love learning. But, yeah, I'm gonna see marine biology. You go back to school, Josh. What are you learning?

[A]

I would be a biology. I'd want to be a physician.

[B]

See, that's smart. You focus on the people. I'm focusing on the mammals.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Yeah.

[A]

What are you going to ask the porpoise? If they're covered.

[B]

Yeah. They're not.

[A]

They're. By the way.

[B]

They're not. Okay. Who's paying for that surgery, by the way, is the government. Maybe I could get a government contract for operating on seals.

[A]

That's.

[B]

Oh, maybe there's real money. They don't have any insurance.

[A]

Yes, they don't have.

[B]

It's all out of network. I'm the out of network surgeon of the seals.

[A]

Maybe you could take an Alex Jones turn as the marine biologist conspiracy theorist. Like, they're turning the seals gay, you know?

[B]

Yeah, maybe they are. I don't know. I'll find out. I'll get to the bottom of it. Wow.

[A]

I could just walk to you two Jews, both big and tall. No subject too small for the good guys. A Mother Stream premium podcast team. Make it your weekly routine. It's a good guys. And if you don't give us five stars. What are you, nuts? What are you nuts?

[B]

Yeah, we're the good guys.

[A]

They have the great guys. We're just the good and good of the good guys.

[C]

Whoa.

[B]

I would love to go back to school. I just like. Learning's so fun. I don't like. We'll never get that back. Olivia and I just didn't want it then. I want it now.

[A]

What are you gonna study?

[D]

I am going to study.

[A]

She's like, anything that allows me to not have to work with influencers.

[D]

I wanted to study, like, English at one point, but I would be completely unemployable, I fear. Um, So I would say let's be really practical. I'm going to trade school.

[A]

A vocation.

[D]

I'm gonna go to trade school and make a ton of money as an H Vac person.

[B]

Very smart. Very smart.

[D]

No.

[B]

Yeah, very smart.

[D]

And everything that I have to do is just right in front of me, just with my hands tactile.

[A]

Yeah, you finish at the end of the day, you're not thinking about work.

[D]

I'm clocked out.

[A]

Yeah, you're going home. I love that. Wow.

[B]

H Vac. That's smart. The amount. I don't remember the exact percentage, but there's a serious amount of boomer H Vac owners that are going to die with their business, or people are going in, giving them a nice retirement amount, and they're taking their profitable business off their hands. This is a thing, a big thing. So, Olivia, honestly, you could do that now. Go in, buy an H Vac company. You don't even have to get your hands dirty.

[A]

Diversify.

[D]

There we go. I like this. I've got one pot in the media pool and then the other one in just, you know, trades craftsmanship. I like this.

[B]

Josh, did you like school?

[A]

I did.

[B]

I didn't mind.

[A]

I didn't mind school. I just. I was working, and so then I fell behind, and that made it hard. But I loved school.

[B]

I loved school. I really. I really hated learning. And it's so sad because of how much I currently love learning. I love it. I just. I like, yearn for that time back. I actually. I'm sad about it. Like, I'm. And I think about it often how I didn't know what I had, and now I don't have the opportunity again, you know? Like, it really is very, very special to have so many hours dedicated towards learning. I guess it would be better if you could pick what you wanted to learn. Maybe that would make things a little bit more interesting and people wouldn't push it away so hard. But, yeah, I. I hated it.

[A]

I also think we got rid of very practical classes in favor of electives like poetry. No shade on poetry. Fucking Walt Whitman out there. Okay, I'm sorry. I know you're all a New York legend.

[B]

Mr. Whitman. A new York legend. I know that from my documentary.

[A]

We love you, Walt Whitman, and we love poetry. But I think there were these practical classes, like Home ec. Anthony Bourdain is a great quote. He goes, you know what the problem with Homec was? They didn't make the boys go, like, yeah, you know, many dumb men who don't Know how to cook a thing. I mean, you can't relate to that at all, Ben. But, like, that was a big bourdainism. Like, if you cannot cook for yourself and your family, like, a couple basic meals, you. You're useless. I totally agree with that. Boys should be in home ec and boys and girls should be in shop class. Like, that ended to, like, metal working and whatnot. So, like, we wonder why every kid wants to get a communications degree. And it's like, how come I don't have my $300,000 a year job out of college? It's like, because you actually maybe aren't good at anything.

[B]

At anything. Yeah, because you're an idiot. Like, no, seriously, that's the problem. You're dumb. You're really dumb. You offer nothing. You're entitled. You learned, but you know all the. You have no original thoughts. And you have no original thoughts. That's the problem. Like, why can't I get a job? Because you're stupid, okay? That's why you can't get a fucking job. Yeah, dummy. Somebody. The podcast. Crying. They're just crying.

[E]

They're like, why are they calling me dumb?

[A]

Do you want to do a weird story?

[B]

I do, but I'm so excited for Maury. I just had to tell them Maury's coming in later. And let me tell you, what a. What a. What a. What a beautiful Jewish king that Maury is. I love him. I love him, Josh. I used to. I used to be sick at home. I'd watch Maury. I'd watch Jerry. Maybe at night I'd sneak a peek at Robin Byrd. They're all in my collection, all in my brain. They're in just a different, different part of my brain that I don't access enough. Where I was young and I loved Maury and Judge Judy, just a big part of my life.

[A]

I didn't have sick days because they would say to me, it's not called Drake and replacement.

[B]

It's not.

[A]

It's not called the Drake and Standing show, is it. Is it called Drake and Understudy? No, it's called drake and josh. 5, 6, 7, 8. Take some.

[B]

Now bend over and I'm going to inject you with steroids.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Take some steroids, eat a pizza and. And say the funny.

[B]

Fat.

[A]

Fat. No.

[B]

I don't know. Oh, my.

[A]

Make with the funny, big boy. It hurts. Still, the New York Post writes, cruise weddings are a cost efficient but glamorous trend. Couples are partaking in. It's a movement, not a moment. Love is on deck. As more couples lean into the destination wedding trend, some are going the all inclusive route at sea, opting to say their I dos on a cruise ship. With a cruise wedding, you blend the excitement and glamour of a destination celebration without the hassle of scheduling and corralling guests. It's a way for couples to do something memorable that doesn't feel like everyone else's wedding. What do we think?

[B]

I love the idea of a cruise wedding. I've never thought about it. I've never considered it. I don't really understand the whole you don't have to wrangle your guests. There is a port. Like people need to get on somewhere, so you're wrangling them, but once they're on. Sounds pretty amazing. Honestly, I'd love to go to a wedding on a cruise.

[A]

Yeah, I would be open to it too. Especially if it was a Ted Cruz wedding. No,

[B]

a ball of butter. That's funny.

[A]

I. Yeah, I think it would be. I'm not against that. To me, actually seems like a better version of a destination wedding. Honestly, Way better.

[B]

Way better. And everything's taken care of, all inclusive. Drinks, the. The gluttony. It just makes sense. On a cruise. Yeah, I love it. That said is the cruise. You're. You're there with other people. Josh, you're not having a 3,000 person wedding. Cruises are big. This isn't a private cruise. So really you're trying to enjoy the pool and you have somebody eating a burger in the pool. I just like sloppy passerbys. I don't know. Unless you have your own private part of the cruise.

[A]

That would be huge.

[B]

That would be huge. The Carnival Cruise wedding. We need to work at the Kinks.

[A]

A Carnival Cruise wedding sounds so lit.

[B]

I need to work at the Kinks. You know how many people are going to die from bad crab? Like they're just dead. They're dead.

[A]

All you would see is the people doing their vows and all of a sudden you'd hear and it's just me getting soft serve over to the to free all day. I love soft serve.

[B]

Me too. And I love a swim up bar. What's better than that? You swim to your margarita.

[A]

Oh my God. It's a big whale coming in for some chips and guac.

[B]

Yeah, you just see me, I've been doing the breaststroke underwater. All of a sudden I just pop my head out, ready for my margarita. Chips and guac ready Right there. I scared the bartender.

[A]

You hit him a wet 20. Keep the change. It was 19.

[B]

Keep the change if you can. If you can salvage the bill.

[A]

Keep. Keep the change. It'll weigh me down.

[B]

It's just in pie.

[A]

So dumb. Well, we've got another story. That's right, another story. Which is. Proud 35 year old virgin refuses to settle despite what trolls say. I'd rather wait. This is from the New York Post. Again, to all legal teams. It's from the New York Post. She's doing what's best for her in 2020. In 2026, when digital dating is tough as it is, one 35 year old woman is standing her ground on refusing to settle, especially regarding giving up her virginity. Not only has Lauren Harkins never had a boyfriend or been intimate with someone, but she's never been on a date.

[B]

Okay, 35.

[A]

I think it's the no boyfriend, never had a relationship. That's a little more troubling, right?

[B]

Definitely. Definitely. But I don't. It sounds very lonely. I'm not gonna lie. That's what it sounds like. Lonely, lacking fun. I hope you have used all of your extra time to become very proficient in a skill. But lonely. That's what I would say. Lonely. And agreed. It's not the sex piece. You do what you want in the bedroom. You want human interaction. You want to go to dinner with someone. You want to share a piece of sushi. Okay. Or share a sushi roll. You want to share a piece of sushi. One piece. It's terrible. It's terrible. Then you also like it's falling out of the side. You can't even bite a piece of sushi in half. You can't do that. Share a sushi roll. How thin are you? Share six sushi rolls, Right? Go out and enjoy. Speaking of six sushi rolls, last night I ordered in from Tao. Josh. I know. You're like, wow, what are you nuts?

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

Unreal. Unbelievable. I was thinking to myself, you know, it's Sunday night.

[A]

You're like, I ordered it from Yankee Stadium.

[B]

I wanted sushi. And I'm thinking to myself, you know, everybody says, don't do sushi on Sundays. Don't do sushi on Sundays. I'm like, is Tao really selling bad sushi on Sundays? I know. It's a myth. I know. Monday, because the fish market's closed.

[A]

The Bourdain rule. Yeah, Monday.

[B]

But all the sushi places are closed on Sundays. Maybe because they can't prep. I don't know why. Most like high end sushi restaurants in the city close Sundays. Okay, Not Tao. Josh. Unbelievable. Sushi.

[A]

I believe that.

[B]

I couldn't. It came in. It was such, it was such a beautiful display too branded. You opened this box. It was my best bite of the week. It was wonderful.

[A]

Do I love the best bite? Well, did you know how can you tell a man's penis size? Louisiana Controversials dick print expert is turning women into schlong sleuths. This is a dirty ass article. New York Post. Oh, my God. Anwar White is teaching women how to be a private detective. Call him. Oh my gosh. This is to. Never mind the New York Post. Get your shit together. I feel like a dirty bird. I'm not reading it. Sorry. Guys, this is my speaking.

[B]

Speaking of detectives, our guest here is Maury.

[A]

Maury's perfect in that department. Guys, we've got the great Maury Povich for you. You're gonna love it. He and Ben got to sit down together. There's, there's love in, in Ben's eyes.

[B]

I love Maury. Maury's. All my grandparents are dead. He's alive. This is, this is like my, my living grandfather. He was. I, I. Maury's amazing. Better than I, better than I ever could have imagined. And hopefully you all love it.

[A]

Love you guys. See you soon. Here's Maury. Listen to his podcast on par with Maury on.

[B]

On par with Maury. Maury's a podcaster.

[A]

Let's hear a little more.

[B]

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[E]

Ugh.

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[E]

Right.

[B]

We stitch together these videos and the listener really doesn't even know where.

[E]

Do you do it in Florida?

[B]

In Florida, we do it.

[E]

Do you have a studio?

[B]

Studio in Florida?

[E]

Really?

[B]

Yeah, we do.

[E]

You're more than welcome on my podcast on par with Maury Povich. And I go to Florida. Maybe I can do it in Florida.

[B]

I think you can. I think you can.

[E]

Because I'm tired of paying these high prices in New York.

[B]

My God, you can do it there easily. We'll talk later, me and Maury. Business together. Josh, I love it.

[A]

It sounds like a deli. Mor.

[B]

It is. We should. You want to open a deli? We can open a deli.

[E]

No, but I've eaten in a lot of them. That's another. That's another thing about Los Angeles.

[B]

What's your favorite?

[E]

No great deli.

[B]

What's your favorite deli in New York?

[E]

Well, I mean, in the old, old days, it was always the Carnegie Yes. That was always, you know, the place to go. The. The sandwiches were as big as the Empire State Building. And I used to love one on the Upper west side. It's now closed. It was called EJ's, a great diner deli up there. You can't. I mean, today. I mean, the deli of delis is still Katz's Way down on Houston Street.

[B]

It is, it is. I still think Pastrami Queen and a good day at Second Avenue Deli is on Second Avenue.

[E]

Deli is good.

[B]

Very good. And pastrami queen on 77th and Lex is very good.

[E]

What food determines the deli for you?

[B]

I think hot pastrami determines the deli.

[E]

Not corned beef.

[B]

A mix of both. If you're going to a deli, Josh, and you're ordering turkey, that's a wood of your nuts. Get out of here with that. Get out of here.

[E]

And probably with mayonnaise, right?

[B]

Yeah. No, we need a heavy dose of Russian corned beef and a pastrami.

[E]

Exactly.

[B]

You get a side of coleslaw. If you're ordering a half sour pickle, I'm also out on you. I'm sorry.

[A]

They're about to put this podcast in an internment camp. It's so Jewish.

[E]

Josh. Josh, do you think you could ever find a bagel in Los Angeles as good as a New York bagel?

[A]

Maury, I won't fight you on that one, but I will give you a little pushback on this. I would say that Langers, the famous deli in.

[E]

I love Langers. I used to. I used to work near Langers.

[A]

Wouldn't you say the pastrami is on par? Could compete.

[E]

Pretty good. Katz's pretty good. Not the bagels.

[A]

Not the bagels. You're right. You're so right.

[E]

But Langers was always Connie Chung. My wife always went to Langers. Yeah, chicken soup was good there, too.

[A]

Yeah, tell us.

[E]

That was good.

[A]

I'd love to hear about the love affair with your amazing wife, Connie, because you guys have been together.

[E]

I'm not too sure you could call it that. How long have you two been together? It's 41 years now, and then about 7 non exclusive dating before that. So, I mean, it's near 50.

[B]

Wow.

[E]

I think the key to our marriage is she calls me Mr. Chung.

[A]

That's awesome.

[E]

I mean, that's the way. I mean, I think more than anything is that since we grew up in the same business and worked in the same business, that we understood all of the pressures in the business and what we had to go through and how we had to talk each other down from the outside forces within the business, like management or this or one guy, let's say an anchor who didn't like her or this person didn't like her or didn't. Didn't like me. And. And so we could talk truthfully to each other. I mean, I. I mean, she. She would complain sometimes about this guy, this management guy, and always on her and always criticize her. I said, don't you understand? He wants to sleep with you. Don't get it.

[B]

Whose idea was it to do paternity tests?

[E]

Well, it was my executive producers. Her name. Her name was Amy Rosenbloom. And Amy came up with this idea. And I went, I don't know. I just don't know. She said, no, don't you understand? It's just like all the soap operas, they have this theme about whether they're the father. But it plays out over six months on the soap operas, and we can do it in 12 minutes with an answer. And basically, my input was the first time I did the show, and I knew the story and I had read about it, and the show producer was briefing me right before the show, and she would say, and the result is. And I said, I don't want to know the result. I don't want to know anything more than my guests, my live audience, my audience at home. I would skew questions. I never want to feel that I'm more important than anybody that I'm talking to or the audience. And that's when the whole inflection of you are the father or you are not. It's because I was as surprised as anyone.

[B]

Yeah. Wow. Wow.

[E]

And that was the. That was the best add on that I. That I put to the themes. And the same thing with lie detectors, you know, and that's a lie or you're telling the truth.

[B]

Yeah. Because you didn't know. I didn't know you were opening and how much. So it sounds like all of it was real.

[E]

Oh, my gosh.

[B]

All real.

[E]

Yeah. I mean, it's. You know, everybody tries to compare the show with Jerry's show. Jerry Springer.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

And Jerry. Yes. A dear man who we were friends from. We started the same year, 1991, so we knew each other well. And Jerry gave me the best compliment. He said that he used to say to interviewers, you don't understand. Mari shows the real deal. And my show is wrestling.

[B]

I was just about to compare it to wrestling. So interesting. Maybe that's because I've seen a Clip where somebody compared it to wrestling. Maybe that's not an original thought, but that is, that's fascinating because in my head I definitely did have it as similar. But no, Maury was 100% real.

[E]

Yeah. I mean, we've all, and, and people. You say, are those people real? I said, are you kidding? It's part of the American fabric. Yeah, I mean, I, I used to say, I used to justify it. There was a New York Times Sunday story one time in the New York Times Sunday magazine, and the story was 10% of all kids in this country are with the wrong father.

[B]

Wow.

[E]

Wrong birth father. And I went 10%. Wow. I couldn't believe that I would have

[A]

taken, I, I would have taken the

[B]

wrong one for something.

[A]

You know, I had nothing. I would have liked maybe the wrong one. You know.

[B]

Josh, give, give Maury a little background.

[A]

Oh, Maury. I don't have a dad. Never met him. I just know what my mom's told me. But it would have been fun to catch him. Good.

[E]

Well, it's interesting. So you grew up with a, with a single parent?

[A]

Yes.

[E]

Never had a father in your. Not a stepfather, Not a.

[A]

No.

[E]

Not a father figure?

[A]

No, only when I was around 9 or 10, I got a big brother from the Big Brother foundation and he's turned out to be one of my dearest, closest friends for over 30 years. But yeah, that's it.

[E]

Do you think your life would have been any different with a father?

[A]

A hundred percent. But not necessarily better or worse, but different for sure.

[E]

Yeah, it's, it's, you know, I, it's one of the reasons why I don't know how the show worked because I was always felt like a member of the family of all the people who came on the show and they, because they could unburden themselves and I, and they felt that I, I could have been welcomed into their home. But I never, ever, you, Josh, have had the experience of being in a single parent home. Wouldn't know what that would be.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Don't understand. I don't, I don't know if I would be different or not.

[A]

Was there ever follow up, Maury, about like how after a guy found out he was the father, whether or not they continued to be in the kid's life in any capacity.

[E]

Absolutely. It's the best part about the fact that the show lasted so long.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

That baby we would bring back when she was 20 years old and we would. Whether the father got into the life and on many occasions, not only, not only did he get into her Life, but got with the woman again and had more babies. And so that's how I re. That's, you know, critics would say over the years, you're just exploiting this theme. You're exploiting. These people said, no, I'm just trying to get these parents into these kids lives so that the child will have a better chance.

[B]

And they also have to be excited about being on tv. Like, oh, sure. There's an element of them being famous too that plays into all of this.

[E]

And then there's also the case on many occasions when the guy wasn't proven to be the father, they would come back and test other people. Sure. And the audience would boo them, boo these women. And I went, oh, no, you don't understand. I think these women are brave to come back. It had to take a lot of courage to take that kind of humiliation and come back on the show.

[B]

Yeah. Do you have one moment or memory or family that just stands out that you remember?

[E]

There was one particular story that will go down. It's famous. And woman came on the show accusing a guy being the father of her twins. And since I didn't know the answers, I open up the envelope and he was the father of one, but not the other. Wow. Fraternal twins.

[B]

Wow.

[E]

And if the young lady is active over a certain period during the month, you can have two fathers.

[B]

Holy, holy.

[E]

How about that Josh?

[B]

That's Josh over here. Oh my God.

[A]

This is like I'm seeing Danny DeVito. I'm seeing Arnold Schwarzenegger.

[E]

Right, exactly. The twins.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

Could you imagine, Ben, if you had like a brother who was like Wemby,

[E]

that would be great, wouldn't it?

[A]

And Wembanya.

[B]

Wemby is fantastic. Oh my God. That is, that is unbelievable. How does that. That's. I, my, my brain can't even wrap my head around.

[E]

Most people have fraternal twins because the woman has gone through ivf. And you can end up with a lot of eggs and a lot of sperm and. But it's not identical because it's been used through ivf. And you have a lot of fraternal twins in this country. I know many of them, but the doctors told me that it's like a million to one shot.

[B]

Wow, that's unreal. I think more people should do that now that ivf, now that we can sort of play God. It's very interesting just saying maybe for a gay couple.

[E]

Well, maybe the next couple they want. Maybe the next time you go around, you have an 11 month old now or something?

[B]

Yeah, I could, I could try. You want to do it with me? Me and Maury are gonna have maternal twins out of Claudia. I think she's in.

[A]

I love it.

[B]

What do you think about that?

[A]

Right? Pacino?

[B]

Just maybe we defy Oz and we do all three. Josh, you'll send us a sample. We'll do the. All three of us? Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Josh, are you married, too?

[A]

I am. I'm married. I, I have three kids that I'm the father of. All. All three.

[E]

How do you know?

[B]

How do you know?

[E]

How do I know?

[A]

One and a half look like me, I'm telling you. Yeah, you, you never did maternity tests, which I found weird anyway.

[E]

Well, I, I, I did one. I did. How about this? We would do one when the mother didn't want to be the mother. Ah, right.

[B]

Yeah, sure. And how often? Because I've heard this before. Sometimes you mix up the baby in the, in the hospital. Sure, sometimes that happens.

[E]

Yeah. And the other, I mean, really strange ones were we had a woman, young woman, who was claiming that this guy was the father of her baby, but this guy had been killed while she was pregnant. And so therefore, the grandmother wanted to know if that was going to be her granddaughter or grandson. And so we had, we tested through the grandparent, and they ends up many times that it's her grandchild. Wow.

[A]

Were you ever, Maury, was there a case where you were secretly rooting that the father wasn't the father?

[E]

You know, I, I would, I would root. How about this? I would root when we would have a guy who had been on the show several times and was the father of these various kids and wouldn't get into their lives. And so when he would come on again, I was hoping he wasn't the father because he would never show up anyway.

[B]

There were always tons of inbound requests. Or was it, oh, your team going out sourcing these?

[E]

No, it was so popular.

[B]

So popular. Yeah.

[E]

You know the 1-800-number- call in. Yeah, and that. But, but, but then we, my staff operated like a, like a new staff. I mean, we would go out and check these people out and make sure they legit. Yeah. And not only that, with the paternity tests, I mean, they had to go to a place to take the test. And one of the reasons why it was popular for a real paternity test, not one of these home deals. It's like 1500 bucks. It's a lot of money. And so people can't afford it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. So they'd come on, they'd get the free test.

[E]

We pay for the test.

[B]

And 10%.

[A]

What's it like? The landscape of late night talk shows is so different from the midday talk shows. Right. It's a different, it's a different animal. How did you, how did you approach that?

[E]

Well, it's interesting because if I just actually did a three part series for ABC on what we called the golden age of daytime talk, which was the 1990s and early 2000s, there were 20 of us on the air. I mean, we had Oprah and Phil and Geraldo and Sally Jesse and Jenny Jones and Montel and me. And I mean, you just go on. And Ricky Lake. In fact, on my podcast, on par with Maury Povich next week, Ricky Lake comes.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[E]

I haven't seen Ricky in 25 years. It's going to be great.

[B]

Amazing.

[E]

So anyway, all of these talk shows were so prevalent, and I'm telling you, I know for a fact there would be no Kardashians, there would be no housewives, there would be none of those reality shows. All of them were all spinoffs of our shows in the 1990s because we basically created reality TV.

[B]

You did, you did. People are coming on. It was so. I mean, it was my ultimate sick day. I remember.

[E]

So I'll ask you the way I ask everybody.

[B]

Yes.

[E]

Did you pretend that you were sick? Because I have all these people who remember that and say, said so how did you convince your parents you were sick? Well, we used to take the thermometer

[B]

and put the light bulb. That's a big one for sure. Also, my parents didn't, like, if I told them I was sick.

[E]

They'd let you go?

[B]

They'd let me. Like, they're not forcing me into school. But I remember I would watch Maury, I would watch Jerry Springer. I remember Jerry Springer feeling a little bit naughtier than Maury.

[E]

Right.

[B]

And I would watch Judge Judy and. Yeah, that was, I remember that, like

[E]

those reality shows spawned everything that's going on now.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Because we love drama.

[E]

Right.

[B]

And if we can be told that it's real, then it's even better. So what, what are you up to today?

[E]

Yeah, so I'm doing this podcast.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

And it's like, you know, it's, it's, it's like I'm stepping into a world that is very different for me. I mean, I was 25 years in the television news business. I did these talk shows. It was all about the story. It was never about me.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

And now I can bring on guests and if I have some kind of similar experience in my life, sure, I can reveal it. You know, I mean, the handcuffs were off.

[B]

That's so interesting. You're there. I've never thought about that. You host a show, you don't get to talk about yourself at all. You're just talking about everybody else. So. Yeah, now you get to interject.

[E]

Yeah. And so, for instance, I would have, let's say, a comedian on. And the comedian, I'd say, well, did you ever get upset at anybody?

[B]

Oh, glitching.

[E]

Well, who would you get upset? Well, how about if you were the owner of a comedy club and they didn't like you and I. And they waited to put me on till two o' clock in the morning when the. When the joint was like a third full.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

And so therefore he would never give me a better time period to go on. And I really resented that. I said, well, let me tell you something. I had a list of general managers I worked for and who fired me or we didn't get along or didn't understand me. And I. I had this list about five people, five guys. And I said I wanted revenge on them so badly, each one of them at one time or another got fired themselves. And instead of with a big smile on my face, I felt sorry for him.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

I just. I couldn't even hold a grudge.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Now, I would never have been able to say that.

[B]

No.

[E]

On my talk show.

[B]

No. But you can now.

[E]

So.

[B]

So you're enjoying podcasts?

[E]

I like it a lot. I like doing them.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

You know, promoting it is just another story. You guys know about that?

[B]

Yeah, it's. It's different. I. I imagine you get to just be talent.

[E]

Right.

[B]

When you're on a network show, when you're in the game of podcasting, you're a little bit of both. Right, Right. You have to be talent, but you also have to have strategy and you have to help it grow. Of course, you could spend money, traditionally, but the best podcasts aren't advertising. By spending money, they're doing exactly what you're doing, where you're coming on our show, or we'll go on on par, or clips will go viral, but it's a completely different business, which is so interesting.

[E]

That's right. And it's like a family.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

All you podcasters, all of us podcast.

[B]

All of us podcasters, Josh, that each have our semen in my wife. We're going to have three. Josh.

[A]

We're going to be three for turning my diary. Three what I Would do to have a throuple with you, Ben. Let me tell you.

[B]

Ed Mori, a throuple.

[A]

Oh, my God, Ed Mori. Maury would be the captain.

[E]

Yeah, for sure, for sure. I don't know if my DNA is gonna hold up here.

[B]

This episode of the Goody Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Yaso. Folks, you know we love Yaso here at the Good Guys podcast. You know we love Yaso in the Safer Ashre household. You know, we've loved their pops for years now, folks, Claudia brought home these unbelievable spoonables. That's right. And let me tell you, we're talking 400 calories, 19 grams of protein, roughly, and oh, my God, this is healthy. That doesn't taste like it's healthy. This is not gonna give you a bellyache. We don't talk enough about the fact that, yeah, there. There are people out there making 300 calorie ice cream and you are literally going to have diarrhea for a month. Sorry I said it. You're gonna have diarrhea for a month. Yaso. I ate the entire spoonables. I wasn't fine. I was amazing. I was amazing. After spoonables, I was full with the 19 grams of protein, the 400 calories. What's that? Nothing. Nothing. You can have it every night. I know I'm having it every night. And folks, now through April 30th, Yasuo is giving away 40,001 of their new spoonables. If you head to yaso.comgoodguides you can enter. And folks, you really should upgrade your freezer. Okay, upgrade your freezer with Yasso. That's Yasso. Y a s s o.com goodguys to enter and find full giveaway details, rules and regulations. You can also find Yassif's spoonables at a grocery store near you. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Fume. Folks, cravings aren't just about nicotine. They're also about the habit. The hand to mouth motion. Oh, don't we know it. Oral fixation. The momentary pause when that loop is broken. Cravings start to spike. Fume replaces your habit with a flavored air fuming fidget device that gives your hands and mouth something to do. Distracting cravings without nicotine vapor or batteries. Don't just try to quit. Upgrade the habit loop. Reach for the fume instead, folks. Comes in multiple flavors, okay? My favorite, the raspberry. Tangy in on the sweeter end. This raspberry is absolutely Fantastic. Some people like Cool mint. I'm not really a mint guy, but if it's for you, it's absolutely their strongest flavor. It's best for heavy users. If you've been puff, puff, puffing away, you should go with the crispy Mint. Okay, you should go with the crisp mint I added. Why the crisp mint? Maybe they should call it the Crispy Mint. It sounds great. Also, that fidgeting motion, you know, you just want to reach for something sometimes. Reach for the fume. Okay, reach for the fume. And I highly recommend the raspberry. Folks, when you grab a journey pack, you'll also get a free gift just for using my Code Goodguys Fume has already helped over 700,000 people take steps towards better habits. And now it's your turn. Use Code Goodguys to get a free gift with your journey pack. Head to try Fume That's T R Y-F-U-M.com and use code Goodguys to claim your free gift today. Head to trifume that's T-R-Y-F U-M.com and use code Goodguys to claim your free gift today. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Zyzol. Folks, you know Zyzol. You know that over the counter medicine with the cute little owl that helps you release relieve allergies for 24 hours. Folks, I saw allergy. 24 hour relieves allergies while you sleep, so you wake up refreshed for a productive next day. There's nothing worse than having allergy flare ups. Okay, but taking Zyzol at night so you can get symptom relief and wake up feeling refreshed is the future. Zyzol starts working in as little as 45 minutes and is clinically proven to relieve allergy symptoms for 24 hours. ZOL relieves allergy symptoms including sneezing, runny nose, itchy watery eyes, and itchy nose and throat for 24 hours. The itch is the worst. Oh my God, those itchy eyes, that itchy throat. Literally. My wife looking at me as I'm clearing my throat, she's like, why don't you take Zyzole? I'm like, I should. You're absolutely right. Plus, it provides 24 hour prescription strength relief from outdoor allergens such as a potential ragweed, grass and trees. I'm always around ragweed. You know, I need protection from ragweed and so do you. Folks, Zyzol Allergy 24 hour relieves allergies while you sleep, so you wake up feeling refreshed for a productive next day. There's nothing worse than having allergy flare ups. Okay, folks, be wise. All take Zyzol. At night, we call our listeners the morons. We're all morons, though. I'm a moron. I'm not gonna call you a moron.

[E]

I don't know you well.

[B]

But we don't take ourselves seriously. And so the segment is called Moron Mail, where we have our listeners write in and we give them some advice, which I thought, oh, good. I tried to pick some racy ones, but. Okay, Josh, this one's crazy. I couldn't believe it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The subject is, my wife is jealous of my aunts. I have a problem. I'm 30 years old and I'm married and have kids. I have been in a sexual relationship with my aunt Kathy. You heard that, right? Since I was 15. It stopped for a while when I got married. I've been married for 10 years now. My wife is starting to get suspicious of us. And yes, my aunt is full blood related. It's just she's been like a best friend since I was a kid. We both lost my mother. We became close, and I can only get hard to her now. I don't know what to do. I'm a big fan and I need some guidance from someone I respect and trust. Also, Kathy's husband is an ex ranger and knows how to kill and has killed in combat before.

[E]

Oh, come on.

[B]

I'm scared.

[E]

This is just. You can't go down this. You can't. Oh, this is. Yeah, this is not working.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

If Maury big lie.

[E]

You actually. Oh, it says. Oh, man.

[B]

When I tell you, on my life, we've never received a message like this. I looked, I'm like, are you kidding me? It's always just. It's always just beautiful Jews.

[E]

Somebody. Are you kidding?

[B]

This can't be real, right?

[E]

Somebody's, you know, somebody's testing a novella with you. I mean, they're testing a novella.

[B]

Okay, but we should comment.

[A]

We should answer.

[B]

Okay. Just in case.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

I was sorry.

[E]

The guy's been having a blood relationship with her. With her. With his boy relative.

[B]

Yes.

[E]

Since he was 15.

[B]

Sexual relationship with Aunt Kathy gets married,

[E]

cools it a little bit. And now the wife is suspicious.

[A]

Yes.

[E]

Who's married to a ranger.

[B]

Think he should do.

[A]

Follow your heart, babe. You gotta follow your heart, man. Turn your eyes away from what the public say.

[B]

I. I think he belongs with Aunt Kathy. I think that's the only logical end for them.

[E]

I think I should come out of retirement and get the wife. The wife and have a lie detector test. Yes.

[B]

We need.

[A]

Get rid of the podcast, Maury.

[B]

We want the show.

[E]

We want Aunt Kathy come out of retirement.

[A]

We need it.

[E]

Do the lie detector.

[B]

We need it. Oh, my God. All right, let's. Let's do one then.

[E]

I want to hear. I want to hear the next one.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

All right, here we go. Probably negrophilia.

[A]

Yeah. Necrophilia.

[B]

Okay. I run a small Etsy shop where everything is handmade and custom. So each order takes time. About 30 minutes per item. What's the expectation? My friends and family want to buy from me. Am I supposed to give a discount? And if so, how much? Or should I only charge for materials and not make any profit? Even though my time is a real cost and I'm a busy mom with young kids, sometimes the material cost is small and I feel awkward charging it all, but if I keep saying, don't worry about it, it adds up, and I end up losing money, how can I do the right thing without undervaluing my work and time?

[E]

Charge them. Charge them the going rate.

[B]

I agree. They're. No.

[E]

There's no friends and family. Right.

[B]

Not in this.

[E]

Not in. I mean, something that's homemade. Like this.

[B]

Exactly. If you. Maybe if you make a product, something mass produced, it's a different story. If you are hand making.

[E]

Yeah. I mean, if you buy something from a wholesaler and therefore you have to add on your costs, but you don't want to do it.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Forget about it. But that.

[B]

Yeah, there's no. You're not a friend, Josh. If you're. That's. It's exploitation. That's exploitation.

[A]

Right, Totally exploitation. And Maury, I got to ask you too. You're so good at giving advice. And when the show was on, I mean, you're New York royalty no matter what, but when the show was at its height, you must have been walking around New York City like Derek Jada.

[E]

I mean, it's. It. Yeah. I would. I would walk down a street and there'd be a construction site and the hard hat would go in, hey, Murray, I'm not the father.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

I mean, and I'll tell you, it's after. After now. I've been the original, by the way. The repeats are as big now as the originals. I mean, they're. The reruns are just huge and so. And going to be even bigger because A lot of talk show hosts are canceling their shows. So therefore all these time periods on TV are opening up. And so my, my show is still has a huge life. So what? And I haven't done the originals like in three years. But what I find is I can't believe the penetration the show had. I was on a talk show a couple of months ago, and I'm walking down the hall and all of a sudden this guy wraps his arms around me and goes, you're my man, my man. You're like security. I look at him and I go, 50 Cent. Are you kidding me?

[B]

Oh, wow.

[E]

So I mean, 50 Cent watch my show. I knew that I was lyrics and a lot of hip hop artists and rap artists, and they put me in the lyrics, you know, going on the Maury show, going on this going on and, but I'd never. 50 Cent, man, that's everyone that's royalty.

[B]

You were, you were on during a time where this is what was on.

[E]

Right.

[B]

Like I again, I'm sure Josh was the same with you. That being sick moment which she said that you've mention there was, there was no other choice. And then you loved it.

[E]

Right. And, and the fact that the good news was that other show hosts would try to do paternity. It didn't work.

[B]

No, no.

[E]

Didn't work.

[B]

No.

[E]

And then I had all these pro athletes, like NFL players would tell me they'd be in the locker room before practice and the show would be on. And they're watching the show. I, I, I've confirmed this. With many players, the show would be on. The coaches would be up on the field waiting for them to come out. They're late and they won't come out until they find out who the father is.

[B]

Yeah, we have to know. Yeah, we have to know.

[E]

Shaquille o' Neal told me that he and his buddies used to bet on whether the guy was the father. You know, Maury, Maury Povich.

[A]

You're never gonna guess me and my friends,

[B]

by the way. Now that's an idea. I'm just saying with these poly markets with these calshes, people are betting on anything. You can have a new show. Just saying. A new show? Yeah, paternity test. And Josh people are live wagering.

[A]

That would be good show. That's we're pictures.

[B]

Maury's the house. Genius, we call it.

[E]

That'd be great.

[B]

Maury's the house.

[E]

I could also charge vig.

[B]

That's what I'm saying.

[A]

Yeah, you're the house.

[B]

Obviously you don't care if he's the. If he's the father or not. You just care that they bet.

[E]

That's.

[B]

Wow.

[E]

That's the way bookies were. They didn't care who won. All they wanted was the 10%.

[B]

As long as they had some type of an even split, they get their 10%.

[A]

Our people have been charging predatory interest for millennia.

[B]

We need to. That's the title of the episode, Should Maury Become a Bookie? Maury, that's. That's so good, Ben.

[A]

Do you have one more Mora mail?

[B]

I do. Hey, good guys. About seven years ago, my best friend since high school, we're now 28, ran off with my dad to live on the streets and do drugs together. They have both been sober now for about three years and are still together. I've always told my dad that when he had a good amount of time with sobriety, that we could work on mending our relationship. I started talking to him and seeing him on again, off again when he was around and sober. I don't have any interest in mending my friendship with my old friend. I don't want to be her friend. She'll never be my stepmom or a grandmother of my children. Am I an asshole for that? Is it wrong for me to forgive him and not her?

[E]

No, I think it's fine.

[B]

I think that's a real boundary to cross when you start sleeping with your friend's father. That said, it does sound to me like.

[E]

I mean, if they're sober. I mean, yeah, they. Look, I've never been there, but I can imagine how difficult it is to get sober.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

And if this friend is sober for three or four years, how about this? I could. I can love my father, but I'll be civil to my friend.

[B]

I think that's right. I think that's right. Also, knowing that when they got together, they probably weren't in the right state of mind, and then they went down this terrible.

[E]

What do you think, Josh?

[A]

Yeah, I think it's, do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? And to what you said, Maury, I think a level of civility will allow you to have a nicer time, because if you're sitting and hating the wife at brunch, you're not going to enjoy the eggs Benedict, you know?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's talk more about food, Josh.

[E]

I love food.

[B]

You love food. What's your favorite cuisine?

[E]

I love everything. If I had to pick, probably Italian.

[B]

Italian. What would you say is the greatest Italian? Restaurant in New York.

[E]

Well, I mean, they're.

[B]

Or what's your favorite of the moment? Let's do that.

[E]

Well, the favorite of my moment is my apartment because.

[B]

Okay, you're a big cook.

[A]

No, he's got a private chef.

[B]

You're a big order in. Big ordering in. No, big private chef.

[E]

Why don't we just call them cooks?

[B]

Great big cook. Big cook, big time cook.

[E]

I mean, they don't wear white hats.

[A]

Listen, I call my drug dealer Ron. He's still a drug dealer,

[E]

but we used to go to a place when we used to go to theater called Patsy's on the west side. And Patsy's was always kind of our go to place. And it was an old Sinatra place. Yeah, we always liked Patsy's.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

But, you know, there's northern Italian and there's southern Italian.

[B]

Yes, yes.

[E]

And so there's a big difference.

[B]

Yes.

[E]

I kind of like the northern Italian.

[B]

Yes, yes.

[E]

With the lighter sauces, creamier sauces.

[B]

Yes, yes. Josh and I. How long ago did we go to Parkside?

[A]

Two years ago.

[B]

Parkside is probably just from a vibes standpoint. Yeah, probably my favorite. I just love. Of course.

[E]

Here's my biggest problem.

[B]

Tell me.

[E]

Fish.

[B]

Okay. They're fish.

[E]

Any fish?

[B]

You don't like fish?

[E]

No, I don't like fish, but I eat fish.

[B]

Okay. But not even like a Dover sole. Lemon butter.

[E]

Yeah, I'll do a Dover sole. If they could really put it in a way that doesn't drown, doesn't taste like fish.

[B]

Okay. We don't like.

[E]

I like all. If it. It's. It's why I do not understand all these healthy people eating salmon. Cause salmon, to me, tastes fishy.

[B]

Then you're eating the wrong salmon. Maury, we're gonna have to fire this shit.

[E]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Salmon's not supposed to taste fishy. It really isn't. If your salmon tastes fishy.

[E]

Now, I like Nova.

[B]

Yeah. Who doesn't? Who doesn't? Fantastic. I had pastrami. Have you ever had pastrami locks?

[E]

Oh, sure.

[B]

Unbelievable.

[E]

Very good.

[B]

I had a delicious sandwich. It's a great combo. The Leo. The Leo. But if your salmon's tasting fishy.

[E]

So if the cook without the big white hat.

[B]

Yes.

[E]

He can really dress it up good. You can dress. I do. Like, I do have a lot of fish and chips.

[B]

Oh, come on. Tartar sauce.

[E]

You don't like fish and chips?

[B]

No, I love it.

[A]

Maury. I. I'm saying, of course, that is a delivery method that is acceptable when it comes to fish. Deep fried and battered.

[B]

The only thing that I don't like is those French fries are a little bit too big. I'm not a big French fry.

[E]

I don't like.

[B]

I like a McDonald's. Skinny, crispy.

[E]

Do you.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Tell me you're deep. And th.

[E]

I mean, there is no question, all right, that McDonald's is the best fry of all ever.

[B]

No question. No question. I mean, I. I think we should outlaw steak fries. These aren't fries.

[E]

No, I don't like steak.

[B]

They shouldn't be called fries.

[E]

I like skins. Potato skins, sure.

[B]

That's a different thing.

[A]

Can you imagine the three of us at a table at McDonald's, couple extra value meals, couple apple pieces.

[E]

Oh, you have no idea. Every time I do the podcast, you know, I come in, nine o', clock, two Egg McMuffins right there.

[B]

Wow.

[E]

Oh, see, I don't. That's another thing everybody says. So how do you, you know, you're 87 years old. How do you stay? I said wouldn't know.

[B]

You're blessed.

[E]

I eat everything.

[A]

Tim and Warren Buffett, everything.

[B]

Wow.

[E]

Prime rib tonight.

[B]

Delicious. So our final segment, Maury, it's a great one. It's called what are you Nuts? It's our gripe.

[E]

What are you nuts?

[B]

People, places and things.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

You're walking down the street, there's a lady barefoot, eating a hot dog. You're like, lady, what are you, nuts? Okay, I will go first. I'm sure you have one. Josh has one. My what are you nuts? Is the wax hand. Maury, I've been thinking a lot about this wax hand. You go to a bar mitzvah, it's 2012. You can't go to a bar mitzvah without there being a wax hand machine. You are going. Kids are dunking their hands. 12 and 13 year olds are taking their hands and putting it in hot wax. And we are trusting this random vendor that they have put that wax to just the perfect temperature that it isn't completely searing the skin off of the youth. They are then going home with a wax hand. For what, Josh, what are you nuts? Like whoever's idea the wax hand was, whoever trusted that they wouldn't burn the youth. The whole thing is just crazy. What are you, nuts? What are you nuts? Josh, what do you got?

[A]

I once had one with the west side symbol, though. Can you imagine getting these fingers so tight, so hot. Okay, my. My Woody and nuts moment is food picks on social media where a bite has been taken out. I don't want to see your dirty plates Listen, fatso, if you can't take the photo before you took a bite, you don't get credit on social media. Yeah, I want to see it perfect or I don't want to see it at all. What are you, nuts?

[B]

I agree. Completely agree. It's nuts. Maury, what about you?

[E]

What are you, nuts? For all those people who can't stop their tats at their neck and go to their face.

[B]

I like it.

[E]

What are you, nuts?

[B]

What are you, nuts?

[E]

Yeah, because even if you wanted to take them off, you're scarred for life.

[B]

For life. What do you not.

[A]

Holy shit. Do you fit in here?

[E]

Why can't you stop at your neck?

[B]

Stop at your neck, Josh. What's wrong with that? You can't stop at your neck.

[E]

By the way, do you have any tats?

[B]

I don't.

[E]

Josh, do you have any tats?

[A]

I do, but they're little. They're little. You know, they're very tasteful.

[E]

Right.

[B]

You have any tattoos? Big lion on your back?

[E]

My daughter has one, but, you know, very small and in a place I don't want to see. Sure, sure.

[B]

You don't have one?

[E]

I don't have one. My son, who's. Who lives. We live half the year in Montana, and so. And I'm not new to Montana. I've been going for. We've been there for 30 years.

[B]

He's. He.

[E]

We adopted him and when he was a day old, and he's Jewish in every possible way. And I said, matthew. And he's not. He grew up observant. He had a bar mitzvah and everything, but not really observant. And I said, did you get any tattoos? And he said, no. I said, how come? Because all these people out here have tattoos. He says, I'm Jewish. We're not supposed to have them.

[B]

This is right. This is right. This is right.

[E]

Also, he says I hate needles, by the way.

[B]

Also very fearful. Very fearful. Me, too. Just scary. Ah, Maury, this has been a pleasure. A pleasure. Everybody listen to Maury's podcast, okay?

[E]

On par.

[B]

Maury's a podcaster on par with Maury.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. This episode is 5 stars. Otherwise, what are you, nuts?

[E]

Did you have fun?

[B]

I had a great time. Did you have fun?

[E]

I had a terrific time.

[A]

Thank you, Mr. Povich. This was awesome. We really appreciate it.

[E]

Wow, Josh, you can call me Maury.

[B]

Listen. Listen to the. Listen to the podcast wherever you get your podcast. Look, Maury, we're on Spotify Video. I don't know if you're on Spotify video. You got to get Maury's podcast.

[E]

We're on YouTube.

[B]

Okay, this Spotify video, Maury, this is all the rave you're going through.

[E]

Now you're telling me something I didn't know.

[B]

You get the video, watch us on Spotify. It's the easiest way to consume the video. It's right there on the app. And Maury, our shows come out Mondays and Thursdays.

[E]

Perfect.

[B]

Every Monday and Thursday.

[E]

And my show comes out Monday.

[B]

Okay, you watch us. You watch Maury. First watch Maury, then you watch us.

[E]

Okay?

[B]

And folks, we'll see you next time.

[E]

Thanks so much.

[C]

Your next chapter in health care starts at Carrington College's School of Nursing in Portland. Join us for our open house on Tuesday, January 13th from 4 to 7pm you'll tour our campus, see live demos, meet instructors, and learn about our associate degree in nursing program that prepares you to become a registered nurse. Take the first step toward your nursing career. Save your spot now at Carrington Edu Events. For information on program outcomes, visit carrington. Edu Sci Fi.