THIS IS THE WORST PODCAST ON EARTH DUDE

Summary

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Good Guys Podcast – "THIS IS THE WORST PODCAST ON EARTH DUDE"

Date: July 20, 2026
Hosts: Josh Peck & Ben Soffer
Network: Dear Media

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Episode Overview

In this lively, humor-packed episode, Josh Peck and Ben Soffer riff on everyday grievances, culinary nostalgia, contemporary snacking, and oddball delivery hacks. The show leans into its self-deprecating, banter-driven style, with each host trading stories about pet peeves, school lunches, the quirks of Amazon and fast-food menus, and guilty-pleasure behaviors. This episode also features audience Q&A, new segment ideas, and the ongoing segment "What Are You, Nuts?" as the duo explores the small and large irritations of modern life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Everyday Annoyances: Dropping Things in the Car

• Ben opens with a relatable gripe about the impossibility of retrieving small objects from the gap between car seats and the console, calling it "the most inconvenient thing in the entire world."
  • [00:36] Ben: "Do you think hell on earth is just continuously dropping something in between your seat and the center console in your car?"
• Josh notes there are Amazon hacks to solve the issue, to which Ben is incredulous and then impressed by modern shopping convenience.
  • [01:55] Ben: "Of course. Please. You're lying. This is something that people have made."

2. Ode to Amazon & Gig Economy Guilt

• The conversation shifts to praise for Amazon’s speed and reliability, with tongue-in-cheek acknowledgments about worker conditions and the odd guilt of prioritizing convenience over others’ comfort.
  • [03:25] Ben (on early delivery windows): "Between 4 and 8am makes me rock hard. Yeah, it's when I see that as an option... I just love my measuring cups at my door."
  • [03:42] Josh: "I just love the feeling of knowing there's a gig economy worker who's giving up their time with their kids in the morning to make sure I get my fucking tablecloth."
• Amusing tangent about the ethics of 'Amazon for single cigarettes' and the fantasy of a "Silk Avenue"—an in-between of Craigslist and the dark web.

3. School Lunch Nostalgia & Kosher Cheese Mysteries

• Extended reminisce about the glory and failings of school cafeteria fare, highlighting Ben’s gourmet childhood lunches and the universal love for pizza day.
  • [06:46] Ben (on cafeteria food): "Bruce Offer would send me with bagged lunch most days... sometimes I'd go in with Chilean sea bass with soba noodles. I was spoiled at the wazoo."
• Debate about the quality of kosher cheese, with a Google deep-dive to figure out why kosher mozzarella never seems to hit the right notes.
  • [13:05] Ben: "It's not that kosher cheese is inherently worse... some people notice differences in flavor, texture or melt… It's the mass market rennet restrictions. Traditional Eastern European cheeses are made with animal rennet, but kosher cheese has to use certified rennet, usually microbial or vegetable-based."
  • [14:03] Ben: "Kosher cheese producers, work just a little bit harder to make a good mozzarella."

4. Crowd-sourced Search Trends: Porn & Cheese (and ChatGPT hangs)

• The duo gets cheekily competitive as they guess the top Pornhub categories for 2026.
  • [11:14] Ben: "Top search categories on Pornhub… are you asking me to guess top five anywhere?"
  • [12:17] Ben, riffing: "Fat man, really sexy woman, face to face. Deep eye contact. 30 minute hug."
• Amusing juxtaposition as one host researches kosher cheese and the other researches porn trends—tech meets daily curiosity.

5. New Segment Brainstorm: "Stuff I'd Never Eat"

• Josh teases a new social segment where he tries the least-ordered or most off-putting items at chain restaurants.
  • [19:02] Josh: "I'm gonna start this new segment… called Some Stuff I Would Never Eat… order something on the menu I would never, never ever order."
• Ben is enthusiastic, suggesting Josh look up statistically least popular menu items and sample them for content.
  • [20:46] Ben: "Trying the most unpopular… You should look them up, statistically, and order it."

6. Fast Food Rabbit Hole: Menus, Misses, and Regional Choices

• Dive into Burger King’s menu and speculation about Pizza Hut possibly shutting down, lamenting the loss of fast-food staples. Suggestions abound: crispy tacos, mozzarella fries, and more.
  • [23:28] Josh: "Did you hear that they might be shutting down Pizza Hut? I don't even want to go there."
• Discussion of regional chains and oddball menu items, like Jack in the Box’s teriyaki bowl.

7. Delivery Hacks and "Uber for Drug Dealers"

• Amused, slightly alarmed conversation about using gig delivery services as hypothetically perfect fronts for criminal activity.
  • [25:43] Josh: "A lady gave me a candle and an eyeglass case… it was a $250 drive… there were drugs in that eyeglass container."
  • [26:51] Ben: "All of the risk goes on to the Uber driver… I am now thinking, I don't know why drug dealers wouldn't be using them as the middleman."
• Musing about their potential as criminals: "It would probably be some version of something fraudulent and victimless… I'd figure out a way to siphon money from huge corporations."

8. The "Nick": Food Icks and Relationship Gripes

• Discussion about a viral post where a woman contemplates breaking up with a boyfriend for his "disgusting chip addiction" and bad snacking habits.
  • [29:01] Josh (reading the post): "Should I dump my boyfriend because he won't stop eating crisps?"
  • [29:59] Ben (defending snackers): "I see absolutely nothing wrong with this… we're big hungry boys."
• Deliberations over what constitutes a dining "ick"—drinking soup from the bowl, chewing with mouth open, talking with food in mouth, and etiquette of eating when others don’t.

9. Audience Q&A: Weight Loss Meds and Drinking

• Listener asks Ben about Ozempic/GLP-1 weight loss meds and alcohol interactions.
  • [41:58] Ben: "When I've been on GLPs, it makes you want to drink less… you have a higher probability of getting sloppy drunk and sick. So eat while you drink, have water while you drink, always drink responsibly."

10. Snacking at Night & Coping Mechanisms

• Honest chat about compulsive night snacking, boredom, and the triggers that lead to harmful late-night eating.
  • [44:16] Ben: "It's watching TV at night. That's my danger zone."
  • [45:19] Josh: "I really notice that when I'm uncomfortable, I either check social media or go to eat something… sometimes that discomfort's just in the form of boredom."
  • Both hosts reflect on strategies, shame, and self-awareness in relationship to food and mental health.

11. "What Are You, Nuts?" Segment: Weekly Grievances

• Ben laments retail stores overpromising:
  • [47:53] Ben: "Furniture store. More than furniture. What are you, nuts? No, you are in fact just a furniture store."
• Josh’s "What are you, nuts?" is for "It's Boba Time" running out of boba:
  • [48:22] Josh: "It's Boba Time was out of boba. What are you, nuts?… If your store is called Boba Time, turn over the black and say you're closed."

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [03:25] Ben: “Between 4 and 8am makes me rock hard. Yeah, it’s when I see that as an option... I just love my measuring cups at my door.”
• [10:32] Josh: “I’ve been asking ChatGPT stuff too… you’re looking for kosher cheese and I’m looking for the top search categories on Pornhub.”
• [13:05] Ben: "It's not that kosher cheese is inherently worse... it's the mass market rennet restrictions."
• [19:02] Josh (on trying weird menu items): "I'm going to start with McDonald's fish fillet because I would never. I would never."
• [26:51] Ben: "All of the risk goes on to the Uber driver. We are single handedly shutting down Uber Courier."
• [29:59] Ben (on chip addiction): "You have a problem that he's snacking. You should see me after 8pm in this house… You have no idea. We're hungry. We're big hungry boys."
• [46:51] Ben: "How do I make myself less bored? Or how do I become… How do you become comfortable in boredom?"
• [47:53] Ben: "Furniture store. More than furniture. What are you, nuts?"
• [48:22] Josh: "It's Boba Time was out of boba. What are you, nuts?"

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:36 – Dropping stuff in the car/Car seat gaps
• 02:29 – “This is the worst podcast on earth, dude”/Amazon riff
• 06:46 – School lunch nostalgia: private and public school food, pizza day
• 13:05 – Kosher cheese explanation
• 14:03 – Kosher cheese call to action
• 19:02–21:10 – "Stuff I'd Never Eat" new segment idea and fast food tangents
• 23:28 – Burger King menu deep dive, Pizza Hut rumors
• 25:43 – Uber Courier as a drug-running service (theory)
• 29:01 – Relationship “ick” story: chip addiction
• 41:58 – Audience Q&A: Weight loss meds and alcohol
• 44:16 – Confessions about compulsive night snacking
• 47:53 – “What Are You, Nuts?”: Retail slogans and Boba Time fail

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Overall Tone & Style

The tone is fast-paced, irreverent, and improvisational, with both hosts leaning into sarcastic self-effacement, food-centric bits, and candid confessions. They welcome audience input, mix pop culture with nostalgia, and make each topic fodder for observational comedy.

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This episode is a classic Good Guys blend of comedic social commentary, food talk, and bantering friendship—making the mundane seem absurd and the absurd delightfully relatable.

Transcript

[A]

The following podcast is a dear media production. Two Jews, both big and tall. No subject too small for the Good Guys. A Mother Stream premium podcast team. Make it your weekly routine. It's a Good Guys. And if you don't give us five stars. What are you nuts?

[B]

What are you nuts? Yeah, we're the good guys.

[A]

They're not the great guys. We're just the good and good of the good guys. Mazda morons. Welcome back to the Good Guys podcast.

[B]

Josh, do you think hell on earth is just continuously dropping something in between your seat and the center console in your car? Mm, I. I've been recording a lot of voiceovers in the car. It's the per. It's great acoustics. You don't really hear anything. And every single time I go to dismantle my microphone, I drop this little piece in between the center console and my car seat. And I just want to say it's the most inconvenient thing in the entire world.

[A]

That's all horrible.

[B]

It's horrible. It really is. Why haven't they solved this problem? Why haven't they closed that gap?

[A]

They could. But then, of course, there does need to be movement on the seat. You know, it needs to be on a track. Probably in the fancy cars you're driving.

[B]

Money bags.

[A]

No, please,

[B]

please, cry me a river. Second car, a Defender. What do we put in the. What is. What does your nanny drive? A Porsche. What's in between the. What's in between the. Or in a luxury car, in between the seat and the center console. Why don't we have just like a little. A little cover that just closes it?

[A]

You could, Yeah. I mean, Amazon has it.

[B]

They do. Of course. Please. You're lying. This is something that people have made.

[A]

Are you kidding? That on the TikTok shop, this thing is left and right. A little thing you put in the middle. And you know what? And, and, and are going to feel very proud of themselves by commenting. Oh, get this, get that. You're not. Thank you. But I just solved it already. Amazon, I know you have your hack. You think you have your. The exclusive. You don't. It's on Amazon.

[B]

It's got 8,000 reviews, by the way. Amazon is so fucking awesome. It is.

[A]

This is the worst podcast on earth. Fuck. Dude,

[B]

Amazon. Amazon is so great.

[C]

We sell.

[B]

And every.

[A]

Guys who work at, like, Costco who started a podcast, and they're like, bro,

[B]

how lit is Amazon, by the way? Amazon is so great. And the fact that we're mean to Jeff Bezos as a society, when he gave us Amazon. Sure. Does he look like he has too much cortisol in his face? Yeah. Could he be spending his money in a way that's more in line with what you want him to spend his money on? Sure. Could he maybe be better to his employees? Sure. Amazon. Josh, I ordered a tablecloth last night. It's coming tomorrow.

[A]

Sure is.

[B]

It could even come today.

[A]

Sometime between 4 and 8am Maybe. It's unbelievable.

[B]

By the way, the before between 4 and 8am makes me rock hard. Yeah, it's when I see that as an option. You're telling me I'm gonna wake up like it's Christmas morning. I just love with my measuring cups at my door.

[A]

I just love the feeling of knowing there's a gig economy worker who's giving up their time with their kids in the morning to make sure I get my fucking tablecloth. Bring it to me. Daniel, I need it now. Oh, you don't have time to drop your kids off at school? Because I need a double A.

[B]

Battery. One single. One battery.

[A]

Remember there was the Silk Road by Ross Ulbricht, which was like drugs and alcohol and firearms. It was like the Amazon of the dark arts. And then of course, there's Amazon, which is wonderful and reputable and all the. What if there was like a middle tier, right? Like the Silk driveway. The. The Silk. The Silk Avenue. And it's like things like that. Like a Lucy cigarette. Like, I need one Marlboro.

[B]

I need Craigslist.

[A]

Yeah, no, but like, you could have it come like, you know, within two hours. I need a single mall bro.

[B]

Understood.

[A]

Like maybe is, you know, half a Xanax and two condoms at your leisure. And a slingshot.

[B]

That's kind of Gopuff. It's not. It's not fully there, but you can get almost everything on Gopuff. We as a society just never adopted the loose cigarette. And I really don't know why. It's a big thing in Europe. We're too money hungry where we want to sell a whole pack. But you know what's wrong with the one cigarette? A Lucy, they call it. It's nice. You go and I just want one up. Charge me. Upcharge me. Josh, the packs. What is it now? I was about to say 13. What's a pack now?

[A]

It's probably 20, right?

[B]

Let's say a pack is 20 bucks. Charge me five for a single cigarette.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

You're going to make the margins through the roof. I just want one. Sell me one. What are you drinking over there? Is that purple?

[A]

No, it's just a nice coffee.

[B]

Oh, okay. Under the fluorescent light, it looks like a purple smoothie.

[A]

It's kind of empty, but it's good.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It's kind of hard to offer.

[B]

I'm drinking. You know these boxed waters where they come in the box.

[A]

Don't ever describe it like that again.

[B]

You know, these box waters come in

[A]

a box, come in a bottle.

[B]

I'm not blaming the people who gave them to me because they're amazing people, but box water is meshuggah. I should be drinking. It feels like I'm drinking milk when really I'm drinking water.

[A]

Feel like milk.

[B]

I'm drinking milk, but I'm drinking water.

[A]

What was your favorite? Did you growing up going because.

[B]

Orange juice. Orange juice in this? If that's you're gonna ask.

[A]

Well, like at school, remember? There was the milk. There was whole 2% in chocolate, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And what. What was your favorite school lunch? And don't say pizza day. We know everyone loves pizza day.

[B]

No, I mean, Bruce Offer would send me with bagged lunch most days. Like, I. I would be having whatever he made at the event the night before. Chicken satay. I got often. Sometimes I'd go in with Chilean sea bass with soba noodles. I was spoiled at the wazoo. And then my favorite lunch, like, in terms of like, what they served in the cafeteria, I really loved. We had burrito day.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

Burrito day.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You. You'd go. You'd. They throw down a soft shell tortilla. It was basically chipotle before chipotle. This was phenomenal. Okay, we even. This is nice. This is ritzy stuff. I'm gonna say, okay, this girl ruined it. At one point, they would make. They would give us sushi. We'd little sushi rolls that take this girl for sure. Full private school.

[A]

Okay, got it, got it, got it.

[B]

She would go in. Josh. With her hands. Nobody ever touched it again. We watched her grab the sushi with her hands. Nobody ever went in for it again.

[A]

Ugh. Heartbreaking.

[B]

Disgusting. But yeah, pizza day. Pizza day was a great day. There's nothing better than a slice of pizza during the day. Makes you feel like you're at a carnival, but you're still at school.

[A]

We used to have the French bread pizza, right? So it was like. It was so specific. It was like that Cisco mass produced like prisoners and elementary school. Public school kids got them.

[B]

And camp. Camp pizza. I know what you're talking about. The sheet pan pizza. That's what you. You mean, right?

[A]

Well, it's literally like on a French. I think it's on a French roll. French bread pizza.

[B]

Wait, what do you mean on a roll?

[A]

Let me show you a picture.

[B]

Yeah, show me a picture.

[A]

Because I've never seen this like a. I think they, I mean, I know they sell it in the frozen food section. French bread.

[B]

What I'm thinking is the sheet pan.

[A]

Oh, yeah, it's definitely on bread.

[B]

Let me see.

[D]

Get closer.

[A]

Can you see that?

[D]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, I've never, I've never had that.

[A]

Look at that fucking monstrosity.

[B]

I've never had that. I've had. I've had sheet pan bad pizza.

[A]

Oh, you haven't.

[B]

But I, but I, but I, But I've never been served that. Honestly, it looks delicious.

[A]

It's so good and I crave it. And the only thing that sort of satisfies it is if I go to Seven eleven for their pizza, which sometimes I do. You know, you can tell, you know, you can show up at a 711 and tell them, throw one in the, in the oven, and then the lovely person behind the desk will literally take. They'll take a full pizza, seven minutes. You got a pizza, baby. But really, my son has pizza day at his. And my son goes to public school, but they get Domino's, which is like,

[B]

wow, that's so fun.

[A]

That's high end.

[B]

That's so fun. We would only get from the kosher pizzeria. Remember when I said pizza day was great? I lied to you. The idea of pizza day is great. You know how bad kosher cheese is? Not kosher cheese. This. No, this is what the Jews haven't figured out. They haven't figured out. Benjamin, there's, there's something. I really, I really don't know the specific to us.

[A]

Like what. Why wouldn't they? Standard cheese isn't kosher.

[B]

It should be. I really, I actually, I don't know the rules and regulations around processing of dairy. I don't because it's never anything that applied to me. Cold dairy, like even religious Jews, a lot of them will just eat regular cold dairy. But if you're very religious, you're only going to eat kosher dairy, which I just haven't found. I haven't found good mozzarella. Like, it just doesn't melt the same. I don't know. The American, totally fine. I don't know, maybe it's something with the proteins. You know what? Let me ask Chat. Let me ask our friend Chatgpt.

[A]

Good, because I've been asking Chatgpt stuff too. And you're probably saying what, Josh? What have you been asking ChatGPT. And that's the top porn categories of 2026. That's right. I wanted to know. And it said there isn't a definitive industry wide ranking for 2026 yet, but there are some incredibly trending and very popular categories on different sites. You want to guess the top five?

[B]

Say it to me again. Because I was looking up the ins and outs of kosher cheese, which I also have. But I will read to you after this fun game.

[A]

Thank you. By the way, same Z's, except you're looking for kosher cheese and I'm looking for the top search categories on pornhub.

[B]

Top search categories on pornhub. Okay. Are you asking me to guess top five anywhere? Like is this geography or this is in general in the United States of America.

[A]

What's hot right now? What's trending in 2026 for those loosey goosey fuddy duddies.

[B]

Okay. MILF number one. Wow. Lesbian number three.

[A]

Wow. You're a prodigy.

[B]

Anti Zionist. More than number 1.5. Let's see. MILF, lesbian mom. Turn this off. Point of view.

[A]

Drone.

[B]

Missionary. Missionary.

[A]

No, we're not asking for your search history. Boy in general.

[B]

Fat man, really sexy woman, face to face. Deep eye contact. 30, 30 minute hug.

[A]

That is my certificate is rolls over and says she's too. Husband jerks off next to sleeping wife. Single, single, tear rolls down face.

[B]

Oh my God, it's so bad. Should we go back to kosher cheese?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Okay, I have it. It's not that kosher cheese is inherently worse. It's that some people notice differences in flavor, texture or melt. Especially with mass market kosher cheeses. Okay, so it's the mass market rennet restrictions. Traditional Eastern European cheeses are often made with animal rennent from calves. Kosher cheese must use kosher certified rennet, which is usually microbial or vegetable based. Modern microbial rennet is excellent, but historically it sometimes produced slightly different flavors or textures. Smaller production runs. The kosher market is much smaller. Aging. Many kosher cheeses are sold younger. That's it.

[A]

So it hasn't gotten that funk yet. It hasn't gotten the funk.

[B]

It does. It does seem though like there's nothing stopping kosher cheese from being great. They just haven't figured it out yet.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

So I. So I urge you, kosher cheese producers work just a little bit harder to make a good mozzarella.

[A]

Get it together.

[B]

Because there's no reason why a kosher place can't have delicious pizza. No reason. And there's also no reason why they serve sushi. But they're going to. They're going to serve sushi and fries. If they serve pizza, they're also going to serve sushi and fries. It's just what they do.

[D]

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[B]

Say less.

[D]

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[B]

Beaches.

[D]

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[B]

Like are you even, are you even thinking about school?

[D]

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[B]

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[D]

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[A]

Oh, speaking of things that are busing and perhaps not busing.

[B]

Oh, that's a good. I like that. Busing or not busing.

[A]

Okay, but we sound like such boomers saying. I mean, I feel like we're a little after the trend. I haven't heard busing in a while.

[B]

What do you mean busing or not? Busing is busing.

[A]

Welcome to our new segment. What the dillio, kids?

[B]

Hey, kids. Welcome to Hype or not hype. Is it hype or is it not hype?

[D]

So stupid.

[A]

Welcome to Vesmax du Kinder. What?

[D]

I.

[A]

Okay, so I'm gonna have a new segment and maybe you can give me some suggestions because no one knows the food world better than you. I'm gonna start this new segment, I think today on my. My IG and tick tock called some I would never eat. Maybe I won't curse. Maybe just be some stuff I would never eat. So I'm gonna go to chain fast food restaurants and then chain restaurants and then who knows where and order something on the menu I would never, never ever order.

[B]

So I like it. I like it.

[A]

I'm going to start with McDonald's fish fillet because I would never. I would never.

[D]

It's delicious.

[A]

And I'll see if there's any hype. You know, it's Ben Saffer and Donald Trump's favorite sandwich. So let's.

[B]

This is a. This is a great segment. I love the idea. Make sure to get some extra tartar sauce. For sure. But yeah, trying. The most unpopular. You should. You should look them up. Statistically, this is the most unpopular thing at this chain and order it.

[A]

Yeah. Like Cheesecake Factory. Maybe I go and find like. Cause there's like what, 40, I think, different cheesecakes. Maybe I go find like the least popular one.

[B]

The least popular one?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You might end up just eating a lot of bad food.

[A]

Fine.

[B]

But. But in the example of the filet o fish, I know you're going to be pleasantly surprised. Do you not like a fried fish sandwich with tartar sauce?

[A]

I do, but this, like, just. I don't know.

[B]

No, I know. It's weird as hell that you're getting fish from McDonald's. I totally get it. It's delicious.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It's delicious. Delicious.

[A]

You know, you're from the east coast, so you don't have you ever eaten a Jack in the Box?

[B]

Now? I always like their. Their commercials are cool, though. And they look cool.

[D]

What.

[B]

What kind of food is it even?

[A]

It's just burgers, fries, tenders, like the typical fair. Right. But then they have this offshoot menu and they have tacos and a chicken teriyaki bowl. Like mad random. Like, that's.

[B]

By the way, their chicken teriyaki bowl is probably amazing. You might end up.

[A]

That's what I would get.

[B]

Yeah. Okay, don't, don't. Don't go for the actual least ordered. Just go for the thing that you'd never order. Exactly. So do the exact segment that you told me you were going to do, Roger. Do the exact segment that you were telling me you were going to do before I gave you my stupid opinions.

[A]

Your opinions are never stupid. And please feel free to DM me at chew a peck on the Instagram or like writing comments of, like, things that you think are things I should try that probably are going unnoticed, that are not popular but you know, is worth a try. And you look at it on the menu and go, who orders that? Josh, let's look.

[B]

Let's. Let's look at the Burger King menu.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Where are we looking at? Okay. What site are you using?

[B]

King Menu, Los Angeles. I'll do it for you.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Burger. Burger King. Okay, here we go.

[A]

Should I look at it too?

[B]

Yeah, look at it too.

[A]

I think on the Google.

[B]

Yeah, I just searched it on the googs and it's popping up. Okay, showing me one near me, but I'm gonna put in. It's gonna be 2, 1 0.

[A]

Are you looking at it on the Burger King website?

[B]

I'm on the Burger King website on their store locator. And I got to 7079 Sunset Boulevard in 90210. That is what I am looking at.

[A]

Okay. I'm feeling a lot of pressure right now. I don't even know where you are.

[B]

And go to go to bk.com menu. This is not an ad, by the way. Yes, this is not an ad, by the way.

[A]

But it should be Burger King. Mount up.

[B]

It fucking should be.

[A]

Okay. Did you hear that they might be shutting down Pizza Hut? I don't even want to go there.

[B]

No, I didn't hear that. They also have a big fish. Okay, you are going to try Josh at Burger King. Yeah, they have crispy tacos, right?

[A]

No, I should try that for sure.

[B]

You should try the crispy tacos.

[A]

You should try. They have a wrap.

[B]

They have a mozzarella fries Whoa.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which you should try.

[A]

They also have a big fish.

[B]

They do, but you can't just only get the big. The fishes at the places they have under sweets.

[A]

Yeah. All the burgers look bomb dot com. So I can't. Oh, limited time only. Maybe that's for a reason.

[B]

Oh, you could do drinks. Drinks are interesting. Oh, they have a Coke Freeze King, which is like a Coke slushy. They got some fun stuff at bk.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Got some fun stuff for you. And are you planning on just ordering one thing? Are you ordering an assortment?

[A]

Oh, I think whatever. Whatever God says.

[B]

Whatever God says.

[A]

Wherever the Lord leads.

[B]

Yeah. The Lord is. This is. This is the Lord's game.

[A]

Speaking of the Lord's game, my friend, the great Stevie Mack drives for a very reputable, wonderful. And I work with all of them. So I'm not going to speak it specifically, but food delivery service, they exist. And so he's doing like a lot of pickups for. From different restaurants. I love it. And he tells me, like, there are some restaurants that really take care of the drivers, some less. But he also told me, he's like, I also can be hired as a courier. You know, some of these services offer a courier service and they say, hey, come pick this up and then drop it off wherever he goes. A lady gave me a candle and a eyeglass case that was sealed. It was a 250 drive because it was at the height of traffic and it was like pretty far. Like 50, you know, 40 miles or something. He's like, there were drugs in that eyeglass container.

[B]

That's crazy. I use Uber courier all the time because it's actually very cost effective.

[A]

It's a brilliant service.

[B]

It's a brilliant service. And what they do, at least in New York in the city, you have to have a certain tier of car to even be uberX. It has to be within. I think it's like the last five years. Yeah, 2003 or up. Like in this condition, in this color.

[A]

Not 2003. 23.

[B]

You mean, what did I say?

[A]

2003?

[D]

Yes. Yes.

[B]

2020. 23. No. So if you have like in an

[A]

04 Altima, what is happening?

[B]

If you have an 04 Altima, you can't drive Uber, but you can Uber courier. I don't think it matters what it is. So it's so much cheaper. The ride that would have cost me $60 to go and take there myself costs 20 for me to throw in the back of your 04 Altima. It's a great service. I am now thinking, I don't know why drug dealers wouldn't be using them as the middleman.

[A]

Totally. And it, and it totally solves a bunch of risk.

[B]

All of the risk goes on to the Uber driver. We are single handedly shutting down Uber Courier. What I love, I love this service. And we are absolutely. Do you know how quickly the FBI is going to listen to this and go and look at every single courier for drugs?

[A]

You think Kash Patel's FBI isn't already on it?

[B]

Yeah, they're on it.

[A]

They sure are.

[B]

Genius.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

I mean, it would have to be higher end. Like, obviously they're not going to do it for a dimebag, but if you're like talking about, you know, high hundreds, thousands of dollars worth of merch, you immediately, like, eliminate more than 50% of your risk. It's. The whole thing is being pulled over.

[B]

The whole thing.

[A]

And it would only take one person to get pulled over once. And then of course, they'll say, well, where did this come from?

[B]

But yeah, I guess that's the problem. But then you put in a fake name, you send from somebody else's address. How hard is it to set up an Uber? Is it hard?

[D]

No.

[B]

Easy, Josh. It's easy.

[A]

Sure is.

[B]

We'd be great criminals.

[A]

The best. Maybe.

[B]

I wonder. I guess I'm trying to think of what I'd do first. If you were a criminal, what would you. What would your crime be? You think we could rob a bank? No way. That's too much. We couldn't do that. I'm saying logistically, we couldn't find out a way to rob bank.

[A]

No, there. It would be some fraud. We. We would do what our people are great at. No, I. It would probably be some version of something fraudulent and victimless.

[B]

Fraudulent and victimless. Like we're not breaking into somebody's house.

[A]

No, that's crazy.

[B]

We can't do that.

[A]

I would, like, come up with a nice. A nice combina, a nice little workaround where I hit up huge corporations that would never feel it and slowly feel. Figure out a way to siphon money from them slowly but surely over time and to do it at a mass scale to where I was making tens of thousands of dollars a day and leaving really no paper trail. In fact. Sorry, I got to go. Oh, man.

[B]

Just curious.

[A]

I have a wonderful weird story for you. And it's called. I've developed a Nick. Women contemplate dumping their boyfriends because they eat too many chips. I mean, can we not identify. She's not happy with. With his three pack a day habit. A woman has drawn mixed responses online after wondering whether she should break up with her boyfriend over his disgusting chip addiction. Should I dump my boyfriend because he won't stop eating crisps? She inquired. In a apocalyptic post blowing up on the forum Mum's Net, the woman wrote that she had been dating the unnamed snack addict for seven months, that everything seemed great. On paper. He's kind, does a good job that pays well, not bad looking, treats me well, but he's nuts for chips. And on their recent two week trip to Spain, the guy had three packets of crisps per day. Kettle chips, space raiders, which are a corn and wheat snack shaped treat or monster munch. And yeah, he's crispin nonstop.

[B]

I see absolutely nothing wrong with this. Unless of course, he is like a finger licker and doesn't wash his hands and then you're like smelling the chips on his fingers. That's the only thing that's wrong with this. You have a problem that he's snacking. You should see me after 8pm in this house. You know how many bags of drizzalicious I'm putting down? You have no idea. Okay? You have no idea. We're hungry. We're big hungry boys. We need to snack three bags of chips, Josh, over the course of the day. So what?

[D]

Your.

[B]

Your guy is eating an extra 450 calories. Who cares?

[A]

She said after eating his fill the snack. The snack head doesn't wash his hands after eating the crisps. Yeah, at least without a prompt, which results in him having disgusting synthetic crisp dust all over his fingers. And even more disgustingly, after he's finished with a packet, he arches back his head and empties the remnants of the crisp crumbs into his mouth.

[B]

So the last part, no issues. You're not gonna get the bottom. That's what you need. The bottom is. The mo is the best part.

[D]

Josh,

[B]

you're at a diner and you order a soup. Are you picking up that bowl at the end and drinking the rest of the soup? No, I am. Eddie, at the bottom, how do you get the rest of the soup? I'm not.

[A]

I don't think I'm finishing every drop of soup. What?

[B]

You have to finish your soup. You're gonna leave soon.

[A]

We Charlie in the chocolate factory, you're

[B]

ordering Joe, you're getting soup first because you're hungry. You're telling me you. You have the self restraint to not finish the app? I ordered it because I was hungry.

[A]

Come on. You're not picking up the bowl. If you're with, like, anyone important.

[B]

If I'm with somebody important, maybe I'm not picking up the bowl.

[A]

You're not ordering soup at a business lunch.

[B]

No, I'm not. I'm not. But if I'm with my mom at the diner and I order a French onion, you best believe I'm peeling the cheese off the sides and picking that puppy up and drinking her down.

[A]

Oh, it's. That's radical. That's wild.

[B]

Maybe I'm the ick.

[A]

I'm the ick. For sure. I don't have. I. I chew with my mouth open and it's gross.

[B]

I don't know if I do. I do that. No, I chew with my mouth closed, but I definitely sometimes talk with food in my mouth. Is that Nick?

[A]

Sure. For sure.

[B]

So fucking stop asking me questions while I'm eating. And then I won't talk.

[A]

No, then you have to do that.

[B]

Yeah, that's like. Then you're inconveniencing me. I'm eating. Don't ask me questions. Don't talk to me while I'm eating. If you don't want me to talk to you with my mouth open. That's a. What are you, nuts? You don't want me to talk to you with my mouth open? Stop talking to me. I'm not just talking to you. Leave.

[A]

This episode is brought to you by Starbucks.

[B]

Josh, have you ever seen a more gorgeous beverage? Do you know what this is?

[A]

First of all, it's the summer I'm ready to enjoy myself, but I need a cold drink to define me. So I'm all in. Just a disclaimer. Go, Ben.

[B]

This tropical butterfly refresher is honestly like an award winning painting. I've never seen anything like it. I feel like I'm in East Hampton. It's eight o'.

[C]

Clock.

[B]

I turned to my wife, I said, let's go to the beach. Let's prioritize us. And all of a sudden, I see this drink. This is it, Josh. This is a happy summer.

[D]

This is a happy summer.

[A]

And you know what? You're in East Hampton. I'm in the carpool line at my kids camp. My wife's frustrated with me. We've been dealing with. I can't tell you what. But the truth is I go, I need a little something to pep up my day. Tropical refresher.

[B]

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[A]

Too late.

[B]

Too Late. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. Oh, my God. It is so freaking good. Oh, my God, it is so good.

[D]

Are you.

[A]

Are you getting those guava and passion fruit flavors? Coming through.

[B]

That's exactly what I'm getting. This is passion fruit.

[A]

You know what they are? Actually, I think they're mango pineapple flavored pearls. Oh, my God.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I mean, it makes drinking fun, right? Like, I'm so tired of just, like, hitting the straw, getting the liquid. I want a little something, like a little surprise, you know?

[B]

This is the most delicious drink I've ever had. And if you want yours, you can order it on the Starbucks app. Every day I wake up, I put my order on the app, I go, there, it's ready. This was literally ready.

[A]

This drink is literally your summer cheat code. It's tropical, it's refreshing, like us. I got a nice. Thank you here. Sometimes I get, you know, like a little inspirational quote.

[B]

Oh, Starbucks. Wow. Delicious.

[A]

So good.

[B]

Unlock all the best summer memories with the tropical butterfly refresher at Starbucks.

[D]

This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by. Hint. Water. Mmm, water. Folks, I have a confession to make. I am honestly maybe just a little bit addicted to mahjong. Oh, my God. I pretend that this is something that my wife loves. Okay? I love it. I've always been a gamer, but this game, it's fantastic. It's like poker, but it's mahjong. And my wife loves it and she wants to play it, and she's like, do you want to play? I'm like, do I want to play? Are you kidding me?

[B]

Do I want to play?

[D]

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[D]

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[B]

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[D]

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[B]

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[D]

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[B]

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[D]

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[B]

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[A]

My buddy told me this once. I went, I went. And I remember I had a, I went on, this was, you know, 15 years ago, I went on a date with this girl, but it was like at a funny time. And so I was like, yeah, we went to this coffee shop and I wasn't really hungry, hungry, but she ordered food. And he goes, you didn't order anything. I go, it was a funny time. Like I'd already eaten and she was hungry and I, of course, obviously I paid for. I just was like, it was like between lunch and dinner, I. And he goes, you let her eat. And you just sat there and he's like, how did the conversation go? She's eating and you've got nothing in your mouth, like. And I. That's what I realized. You can never allow someone to eat alone. Pick at something, get something small.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Absolutely. Yeah. It's classless. It's not nice. But also, you don't have to order something. We're just here for quick drinks. You don't need to order something always. Now, if you, if you make a plan with somebody during scheduled meal time and you don't eat, that's a problem. But if me and you are going for 3 o', clock, 4 o', clock coffee or whatever, it's coffee. You don't need to order the avocado toaster. Order scrambled eggs, it's coffee.

[A]

But some people do get. Like you and I, I, I don't mean to project. We're like regimented food eaters. Right. I never forget a meal, but someone might have had like a bite for breakfast and then it's three or four, and they'd be like. And you sit down and they say, are you gonna order anything? And I go, no, I'm actually kind of hungry. Do you mind if I order something? As soon as they say that, you go, sure, I'll get something.

[B]

Sure, yeah, I'll get the, I'll get the fruit cup.

[A]

Right, sure, yeah.

[B]

I'll get a croissant. Sure. I, Yes, I, I respect that. I do.

[A]

I'll get a small baguette.

[B]

Yeah, correct. I'll end up, by the way, if that happens. I end up ordering a whole meal. I end up ordering more than she orders.

[A]

I'll have the ribs. Do you have a petite corn dog?

[B]

I'll have you a pre. I'll have you a pre. Fee, please. Score.

[D]

Sit.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Do we have any more on mail?

[B]

Oh, yes, of course we have Moron mail. Goodguys podcast onemail.com. hey, moron here reaching out to Ben, wondering if you have had any bad symptoms while taking the weight loss medication and drinking. I know you enjoy your libations. What a dumb fucking word.

[A]

Well, that's what I call that because remember you called out the word libations.

[B]

Of course. So funny. I know you enjoy your libations and also stay looking slim. God, you're amazing. She is just reaching out for some tips because I have struggled with weight loss and I also enjoy a few spritz societies and was wondering if I would end up regretting it. Oh, this is actually a nice one. Okay, first of all, always drink responsibly. That said, Josh, I know you've only micro Dosed. And I also know that you don't drink at all. So I don't know if this necessarily works for you, but I can say that when I've been on glps, it makes you want to drink less. Certainly, certainly. And I would say that because it makes you want to drink less naturally and it makes you want to eat less, you have a higher probability of getting sloppy fucking drunk and sick. So you have to make just a conscious effort to eat while you drink, have water while you drink. Always drink responsibly. Um, but yeah, you're gonna end up drinking less. So.

[A]

Have you picked up. I know you've been taking a break from the zeppbound. Have you picked up Ozempic? Have you gone.

[B]

I. I haven't. I haven't gone back on just yet. I'm still waiting. I think it's gonna end up being wegovy you. But I bet I've been off for a bit. Thank you. And it's. It's nice. Like, I go up. I would like to be back on it.

[A]

But are you still sub 2:40?

[B]

I'm. I'm 240. I go between. I go between 2:38 and 2:42, depending on the morning. Do you also. What is a normal person fluctuate? Like, how does a normal person. Five pounds. Okay, so then that's. That's what. And then normally when I'm really good on the GLPs. 230, 228. Like, that's. That's prime benny. And then when I'm really off it and being really bad, then I start to look like a lesbian after over 250.

[A]

That's hot.

[D]

Over 250.

[B]

So I'm right now in the. In a sweet spot. But I'm one bad week away from those big rosy cheeks, so I gotta be careful.

[A]

I love you either way. I love you in all the ways. I'm such a Jewish mother. I love to see you well nourished and fed, by the way.

[B]

You never have to worry about me being well nourished and fed. No matter what. I'm getting my nourishment. The problem is sometimes I'm like a conveyor belt and I'm starting to get that feeling again. Like last night we were watching Love island, which is a meshugganess show, but we were watching Love island, and I'm just. I'm eating the whole time. Even though they're like these, like, calorically friendly, better for you snacks. I'm eating drizzle licious Then I have a 15 calorie outshine bar. Then I go and have. And it's just not a yogurt with berries. It's non stop. And that's, that's my danger zone when I'm back there, where after 8pm And I'm watching TV, I can't watch TV without eating something. That's my danger zone. That's where I could easily balloon back. It was never my day. I eat great during the day, it's watching TV at night. That's my danger zone.

[A]

It's so bad because you're also forcing your body to digest at night while you're sleeping. So you're not sleeping as well. You got light heartburn all night, whether you realize it or not.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's like, it's just the worst time to be eating. Like, I don't even begrudge you for having like being a snacker because so am I. But just to do it at night because I know you, you're not going to bed at midnight, you're going to bed at 10.

[B]

Like I'm going, I'm going to bed at 10.

[A]

So if you're crushing it at 9pm you're doing yourself a big disservice.

[B]

And it's so funny during the day I'm not a snacker. I really just like, and it's not intentional. Like I'm just busy. I'm not sedentary at all. I'm working or I'm with Ruby or I'm doing something, whatever. And then when I'm sedentary and I'm watching tv, I'm fucked. So maybe I have to watch less TV or maybe I have to get like a fidget spinner or maybe I have to get like, you know what I mean? Like, I almost think it's like an ADD activity.

[A]

I would think about it all. I really notice that when I'm uncomfortable, I either check social media or go to eat something. Because what I'm looking for is momentary relief from my own discomfort or my own, you know. And sometimes that discomfort's just in the form of boredom.

[B]

Boredom. Boredom.

[D]

Boredom, definitely.

[A]

Like, but I would really search. And even though we know you're much healthier than I am mentally in all areas, really, I would look at it and see like if I really did here, did I slightly get like maybe I got a little fear, you know, thinking about Ruby or thinking about my parents or a stressful situation coming up with work. And I, I went to calm that with a bite of something because we know. Or like a quick hit of social media. Ooh, my post is doing well. Everything's going to be fine. But. But it has depreciating returns.

[B]

Interesting. I'm trying to think like it really. I think it's. I think it's just straight boredom. I. I operate where I fill my cup up way too high. All day long I'm overflowing. And then comes a time where Ruby's asleep, my work has stopped, and I'm the opposite. And yeah, it's boredom for me. It's 1,000% boredom. Yeah, boredom, boredom, boredom. So I'm gonna look into that. How do I make myself less bored? Or how do I become. I mean this is like the ultimate monk Zen. How do you become comfortable in boredom?

[A]

Do you have a what are you nuts?

[B]

I do. Our what are you nuts? Moment of the week is our gripes with people, places and things both big and tall. Whatever's sticking in your craw, Josh, I saw there's a. Let's just say it's Raymore and Flanagan. It's not Raymore and Flanagan. It's a general furniture store. You know what their slogan was, Josh? Furniture store More than furniture. What are you nuts? It's always this, Josh. It's always the slogan. Trying to be something more. No, you are in fact just a furniture store. I don't want you to sell me the founders and owners dreams, okay? I don't want to know the family history. I don't want to know. I don't want. You're a furniture store. You're not more than furniture, you're furniture. And by the way, if you're more than furniture, I don't want to buy my furniture from you. I want to buy my furniture from a great furniture store. If you're more than furniture, you're nothing. The master of all is the master of none. What are you nuts?

[A]

So true.

[B]

You got one?

[A]

Mine is. The other day I took my son to wonderful establishment in Los Angeles called It's Boba time. We go there, we get a beautiful beverage. The other day I walk inside with him, they go, sorry, we just want to let you know we're. We're out of something. What? What do you think?

[D]

It.

[A]

It's Boba time was out of boba. What are you nuts?

[B]

Josh, it's more than boba. Okay? It's more than Boba.

[A]

This is called it's time.

[B]

It's time for me to leave.

[A]

It's no longer Boba time if you're at a Boba if you're at a Boba and your store is called Boba Time, turn over the black and say you're closed.

[B]

Closed.

[A]

You're closed.

[B]

Closed.

[A]

So I can get Vietnamese coffee alone. I could get that anywhere. I don't need. I don't need Thai Tea Sands. Boba hon. What are you, nuts?

[B]

Nuts. Folks, this episode's five stars. Otherwise, what are you, nuts? Listen to us. Wherever you get your podcast, watch us on Spotify. We haven't figured out if it's 1080p or if it's 4K or if it's 8K, but the visuals are fantastic. You rotate it horizontally, vertically, whatever you want. It's great. Also, Josh's YouTube Mondays and Thursdays, folks. We will see you. We will see you next time.

[D]

Foreign.

[C]

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