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- [00:00]
A
The following podcast is a dear media production. Two Jews, both big and tall. No subject too small for the Good Guys. A Mother Stream premium podcast team. Make it your weekly routine. It's a Good Guys. And if you don't give us five stars. What are you nuts? What are you nuts?
- [00:24]
B
Yeah, we're the good guys.
- [00:26]
A
They're not the great guys. We're just the good and good of the good guys. Mazzle morons. Welcome back to the Good Guys podcast, Josh.
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B
I mean, look at this studio behind me. There's a piano. Can you see the piano or is it out of frame? I don't know, but Josh.
- [00:43]
A
Oh, it's way in frame.
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B
We are in case you want me to hop on the. Hop on the piano, play a couple of Heart and Soul. I could play you Heart and Soul. But folks, we're here in the Hamptons, and I don't know if you remember. I'm sure that you do remember if you watch this podcast the last couple of summers. I'm not gonna lie to you, I did my best to make it look good, but it didn't. It didn't look good. So we decided, you know, this is. This is the biggest podcast in America. We need a real studio. So we're here in a real studio in the Hamptons. And let me tell you, Josh, it just feels so great to be here with you virtually in the Hamptons.
- [01:18]
A
I have so much to talk to you about, but you've already given me the perfect segue because you're the perfect co host. When is it acceptable to play an acoustic song at a gathering ever? And how good do you have to be?
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B
So here's the thing. I'm so happy you brought this up. I think if you're too good, it might never be appropriate. If you're really, really, really, really good, then you're just stunting on people. Then it turns into a concert that's no longer a gathering. You're here at your. Here at the concert. I think that if you're mid level good, you know, you got some. You got some talent, I think outdoors only. Some type of campfire environment, maybe bonfire by the beach. If I'm coming to your house for a dinner party and you start playing the piano, I'm leaving.
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A
Totally.
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B
I'm leaving. Yeah, I'm leaving. I didn't sign up to hear your narcissistic ass play the piano for your guests. We don't want it. Did you go to a party recently where this happened? Is that why you're bringing this up?
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A
No, I've just had to endure it a lot, really.
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B
That's a big Hollywood thing then. It's big. I've had. I've had it once, and it's brutal.
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A
The only thing worse would be if someone brought out their serato or, like, their turntables and was like, I wanted to give you guys a little taste of my DJ set. And it goes a little something like. Like,
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B
that would be. That would be insane.
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A
I always wanted to make a tick tock or a reel of, like. You know how they're always listening like this.
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C
Yeah.
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A
While they're DJing. But, like. Because ostensibly they're like. They're like, you know, listening to the next track to try to fade in. But, like, what if they were just listening to, like, you know, I don't know, Joe Rogan. Be like, don't be a pussy. Don't be a pussy. Don't be a pussy. I want to know what they're listening to.
- [03:28]
B
They're listening to nothing. They're all faking. Real DJs don't do that. Real DJs don't even have headphones. Real DJs just vinyling it up. They're just playing, Josh. Aren't they just playing? What are they listening to?
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A
Well, like, people like Diplo or. Or Steve Aoki, they make their own music. So they're not crossfading. I mean, they are, but they're playing music that they created.
- [03:54]
B
They're playing music. They're playing music. They go from one to the next. They press stop, they press play. I don't know. I don't know, Josh. But, yeah, if you. If I go to your house and you start playing the piano, it's always Frank Sinatra, isn't it? You're always playing Frank Sinatra, too, on the piano. And I just want you to know you're probably a billionaire. That's typically where it happens. I don't want to hear it. Josh. I agree with you. It's a huge. What are you nuts? You invite me over for a concert. You invited me over for a dinner party.
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A
It's almost always men. It's always a guitar. And then women. It's riffs. Like, if a woman can sing. In my experience, it's like an. An uninvited riff. No one asked for this riff, this. This vocal acrobatics, right? And then. And then if a guy. It's almost like if your name is Gavin Trevor, you know, Johnny, and you're under 35 and you know more than four chords on the guitar, it's like, they can't. It's like a magnet draws them to the guitar, wherever it is. Like, first of all, if they bring it, that's. What are you nuts? But then if they see an instrument. If you see an instrument at someone else's house, you. You're not allowed to. This is my Woody, and that's early. If you see an instrument at someone else's house, don't touch it.
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B
Leave it alone.
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A
No one asked you.
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B
And even if you.
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A
It's uncomfortable.
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B
And Josh, if you see an instrument at the airport, leave it alone.
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A
Hundred percent.
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B
The piano's not there for you, Jim. At six in the morning, it's not there for you, Josh. This has happened on a couple of occasions. We've gone to somebody's house and they've asked Claudia to sing.
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A
It's crazy. That's a.
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B
What are you nuts, too? She's not a per. She's not there to perform. She's there for dinner. They'll be like, oh, you know, I. I heard you have a pretty great voice. Want to hear something? And I'm, of course, like, the stage mom. I'm like, sing, sing, sing. And it's terrible. We always end up leaving the party. She's like, what the fuck? Why did you encourage me to sing? I'm not supposed to be singing. I was invited to dinner. Why am I singing? I think it's happened at least four times.
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A
It's so crazy. Like. And even I'm gonna get dragged for this one because, you know, I love my beloved Stamos, and he's obviously a proper musician. He plays with one of the greatest groups to ever exist. But this is like a big thing at his house. And I. You know, he'll have parties and stuff, and they'll start jamming, and it's Stamos on the drums, and it's like. And it's his buddies, and they're all proper good musicians. But what it sounds like is a pretty good cover band. Not the best cover band I have heard.
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B
And you're indoors. And you're indoors.
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A
Sometimes you're indoors, sometimes you're outdoors. But it's like a pretty good cover band. And I'm like, I'd really like to hear the original. I think maybe I really liked. I'd like to hear it on a CD.
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B
I was watching. I love that you said that. I was watching TikTok. I think it was like, from an Alesso set or something. And he brought on, you know, like, his best songs, have a lead vocalist, and he Brought one on stage. And what he nuts for me is when they bring on the singer on stage at an EDM concert, Josh. Because they never sound good. And the vocals, the whole set is pre recorded. It's not like he is.
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C
He.
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B
He's pressing play. So when they bring her in to sing her actual vocals. Oh, it sounds terrible.
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A
Totally.
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B
It sounds terrible. And if only they just played the actual song that they recorded 10 times better.
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A
I couldn't agree with you more. And you also set me up for something I observed the other day, which was they gave the great, the iconic, the, the, the incomparable Lauryn Hill this beautiful lifetime achievement award, beautiful concert as they do. But here's what I realized. What's wrong with these concerts? Someone like Lauryn Hill, who literally has an angel in her throat, like the gift that she has been given. One of my, my favorite artists and the women and the people that they brought brought in to cover and tribute her music, they're wonderful musicians in their own right, but they don't compare to her. So I have to listen to her amazing music sung not as good as her. And I'm like, this is a gift. This is some tribute I got. Like when Carol King won the Kennedy center honor. Carol King, who's one Jewish excellence, but she's written a lot of music that she didn't sing herself. She wrote for other people. She wrote, you make me feel like a natural woman. And so Aretha Franklin came out and it's one icon doing a tribute to another icon. And it was like. It brought down the fucking house. Like it was, it was beyond. But that's rare.
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B
Very rare. Very rare. I think we should keep complaining. This is good. I'm going to throw another complaint back.
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A
Go, go, go.
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B
All right, so this weekend, July 4th weekend, Josh, I don't know if you heard, but on Long island and in other parts of New York, there was a very, very, very dramatic, very, very quick weather warning that came out. Okay, it was 9:30 at night. We got one of the national weather Services. Like the ping to your iPhone that you get when there's a missing child, like an Amber Alert. And it was. I took a screenshot so I could read it to you. Okay, this is it. Imminent threat alert. National Weather Service. Severe thunderstorm warning in effect for this area until 9:45. Just 15 minutes until 9:45 for destructive 80 mile per hour winds. Take shelter immediately in sturdy building away from windows. Flying debris may be deadly to those caught without shelter. Go to the lowest part of your home. One Second later, we're watching tv. One second later, all the power cuts. All the power cuts. I sprint upstairs because Ruby's upstairs, and they said, go to the lowest level. I'm sprinting upstairs. All of a sudden, you know, I take a look outside. I'm like, it's really not that bad. It's fine. It's not. I don't see any flying debris. There's a little thunder. There's a little lightning. It's nothing. I almost had a heart attack. And then I think to myself, ben, where are your parents? You know, you spent the day with your parents, but where are they? You know, they're probably out gallivanting somewhere. You should probably check on them. I give my parents a call. They're outside, Josh. They're outside, and they're having a very different experience. My dad is having trouble walking. There's debris flying everywhere. They get into their car, and there's, like, trees, like, not. Not crashing in front of them, but they see trees blocking them as they're driving. I'm. I'm talking to them on the phone. I'm like, are you okay? They're like, my mom is freaking out. My dad is just, like, cracking jokes, eating popcorn. He's like, this is. I'm watching your mother, which is one movie, and then I'm watching what's going on in front of me, and that's another movie. And he's eating popcorn as my mom drives. And they get home, and they get home safely.
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A
I'm having my Orville Redenbacher.
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C
Benjamin.
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A
Basically, your mother is totally famished. Meanwhile, I'm over here with my kettle corn.
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B
She was totally finished. She was. And she also loves. I mean, she. She loves a dramatic story, too. So I'm sure that it was bad, but she obviously told it as if they were gonna die.
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A
Ava's over here with her smart pop. What's it called?
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B
Smart pop. Smart Skinny pop. Skinny Bob. I think smart pop was also a brand, though.
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A
Hey, Ava's all for bringing. While I'm over here downing skinny Pop. Oh, this Garrett is. You know. This Garrett's from Chicago, Benjamin. Oh, is this good? This cheddar caramel. My Ozempic will only allow two handfuls. It's a shunda, Benjamin.
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B
Oh, my God. Yeah, I thought they were gonna die, and they didn't die, but I thought it was a wood of you nuts. Totally the weather service to do this. And then in the morning, I go to my local bagel store, and all anybody can talk about is this warning. So I'm talking to the cashier. I'm like, believe this warning. She's like, yeah, thank God I was on a boat. And then I realized, you know, they can't personalize the messages. It's 9:30 at night on July 4th. Just because I'm a loser sitting at home on my couch doesn't mean that the night other 95% of Long island aren't out near water on boats wherever they are. Most people are outside on July 4th at 9:45.
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A
Sure.
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B
So it then made me realize that not everything's about me. And maybe it is naughty and nuts, but it scared me. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at imeat.
- [13:38]
C
Folks, IME is really just a splendid dose of all of the things that you're missing. And what's fun is that you don't even know what you're missing. And you don't need to know what you're missing because they fill in nutrient gaps. This is a supplement, but it's not a singular supplement. It's a group of supplements that once you're in a routine, you're just going to feel better. And you're like, was it this? Was it that there's 16 of them? You're never going to know. But it doesn't matter, folks, because 16 supplements replaced nearly 90 ingredients across nine major organ systems in just one one drink. Imaid is the way to simplify your supplement routine once and for all. And folks, the problem with supplements is you think you need a cabinet full of them to feel your best. Don't. I know. But you really don't. Imate daily Ultimate Essentials has 16 supplements in one drink for $2.61 a day. What a deal.
- [14:31]
B
Co founded by David Beckham, the great
- [14:33]
C
David Beckham, and built by leading doctors and researchers, IMAITE was designed by the world's best. 95% of people who tried it for 12 weeks felt more energy. And that's from a clinical trial conducted by the San Francisco Research Institute. Folks, if you want more energy, if you just want to generally feel better, first and foremost you need a routine. If you're waking up at different times every day, going to sleep at different times every day, you're not going to feel good. If you wake up in the morning, one day you have a soda, one day you have a tea one day you have a coffee one day you have a water, you're not going to feel good. You need a routine. And I recommend that routine involve I folks, go to im8health.com goodguys right now or click the link in the description and use code Good Guys for a free welcome kit or five free travel sachets plus 10% off your order. That's code good guys at im8health.com goodguys code goodguys at I am the number eight health.com goodguys disclaimer these statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
- [15:33]
B
This episode of the Good Guys podcast
- [15:35]
C
is brought to you by our friends at Staples. Folks, do you know how excited I was when I saw that Staples was a sponsor? Not only have I been shopping at Staples for 30, 34 years. Yeah, that's right. As an infant I was buying staplers. Let me tell you, Staples is the most wonderful store. They sell everything. Okay? You know how many times we've gotten a printer at Staples?
- [15:55]
B
Yeah, I bet you didn't know that they sold printers.
- [15:57]
C
Let me tell you folks, back to what we're here to talk about. It is back to school season. I know you're sitting probably by a pool and you're like, ben, back to school season. It's the middle of summer. No, you need to start planning now. And you know why? Because you need a little bit bit of structure in your life. You need to start planning and let me tell you, you can grab school supplies. You ready for this? You can grab school supplies at staples starting at just 25 cents, not dollars cents. Plus great deals on laptops and tech. You can shop right from your kids teachers list too. So there's no guesswork in the aisle. None of that. Okay? And if you're a last minute parent, no judgment at all. Staples has 30 minute pickup to get you what you need fast. And they're in stock all season long because back to school never happens in just one trip. Plus there are plenty of fun personality filled supplies including character favorites that actually get kids excited for the year. Folks, you need a binder. You need pencils.
- [16:52]
B
You might need colored pencils.
- [16:53]
C
You definitely need erasers. Okay, you need a pencil sharpener, you need them to sharpen it. You're going to need one of those three hole binders. You're going to need one of those pages that has a bunch of lines on it. Okay? I don't know if they need Excel work. I don't know if they need a graph work. You know, I don't think that they need that yet. They're too young. What else could they need? A laptop, a printer. They can get everything at Staples, folks. Staples has it all. It's the most wonderful time of the
- [17:14]
B
year at Staples, folks.
- [17:16]
C
To shop the most wonderful deals for school, check out staples.com goodguys folks. It's the most wonderful time of the year at Staples
- [17:27]
A
in Hawaii. Was there a brief like less than 30 minute nuclear attack or missile attack warning that was received on phones? I remember hearing someone famous talk about how they briefly thought everything was over. But I'm also on the podcast right now, so come through for me, Chad. I need you big, big, big. And we'll have our therapy session later because I need you to tell me that I'm going to be okay.
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B
We should have chat on the podcast.
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A
We should. As a guest.
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B
As a guest.
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A
That would be amazing. I wonder how they would be as a guy guest. Very worth a shot. Okay. On January 13, 2018, everyone in Hawaii received an emergency alert on their phones that read, ballistic missile threat inbound to Hawaii. Seek immediate shelter. This is not a drill for the next 38 minutes, people. Genuine, genuinely believe they might have less than 15 to 20 minutes to live if a missile had actually been launched. Crazy, right?
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B
And what was it, a mistake?
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A
It was, I guess it was a
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B
mistake or a hacker.
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A
And then an all clear message didn't arrive till 38 minutes later. I think it was Jim Carrey maybe talked about it.
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B
Oh my God. I mean, I really did have a mini heart attack when I didn't think to myself, what do you think 80 mile per hour winds is? What do you think that does to you? 80, 80 sounded very high, but what do you think that does to you?
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A
I think it's good and fast. I don't think it could lift you up off your feet at our girdles.
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B
No, it can't. You're. You're right. No, it like makes it hard to walk. You might fall. But like in my head, when I received that warning, I felt like I was in the wizard of Oz and Dorothy. I was like, oh my God, I'm about to. The house is going to end. No, that's. I can't. I don't know what mile per hour that has to be, but 80 mile per hour. 80 miles per hour is just below category one hurricane is 100.
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C
Oh, really?
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A
Yeah, yeah, that's like, that's a Thursday in Florida.
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B
That's what I'm saying. Category one, they sound so dramatic. Category one hurricane, 100 miles an hour. I thought a hurricane, 200 miles an hour. I thought you're screwed.
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A
My mother. My mother is in South Florida, as you know. And so you know, when there is some hurricane activity, they go, oh, my God, is your mom okay? I said, my mother is in a home. No, but she's in.
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B
She's in Fort Knox. She's good. Yeah.
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A
In an industrial. You know, she's in prison. Yeah. It's a senior living, gigantic commercial building with apartments. I'm like, they got generators for days. This is safer than if she was in the hospital. Like, she. Maybe they might get a window crack.
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B
I'm laughing because imagine if this whole time your mom's just been incarcerated. I don't know for what. Well, yeah, I don't know for what, but I. I've never met her. I haven't seen her. We just hear that she's somewhere in Florida. Yeah.
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A
In jail. Yeah. 100%. She's. She's in a penitentiary. I'm in the hose cow. Joshua. They sent me up the river and I do not like what I am getting for lunch. They keep sending me for chow. It should not be called chow. It should be called. Joshi. I had the most fabulous radiator ramen today. Fabulous that I. Let me tell you, I've been playing more gin than I ever played in my life. And I have a nice pruno at night, you know, toilet wine.
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B
Speaking of gin, I'm playing so much mahjong. And let me tell you, this game is fabulous. It's taken over the late. Is Paige playing mahjong? Her friends are. She's not, but her friends are.
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A
I don't know. I. Maybe it's. I think it's a Yiddish a thing.
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B
No, it's gone way past it.
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A
Okay.
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B
It's become huge. This company. Oh, my mahjong. Is making boards, selling them for 550 a pop. They're very aesthetic and everyone is playing mahjong. It's crazy. It's taken over so much so that Claudia is having a mahjong themed birthday party. But this is. This is a great game. This is a combination of Chinese rummy. That's what it is with. With little pieces instead of cards.
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A
China.
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B
Fun. So fun. Speaking of China, July 4, how was it? What'd you do?
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A
Is that because most fireworks are made in China?
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B
I just think America. 250. I think of Trump. I think the USA. I think of our troops. I don't know, it just brought me
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A
back, you know, I. July 4th was wonderful. I, you know, every year my in laws do this beautiful party with so many, you know, wonderful games and things. And they live on this big walk street towards the beach, a block from the beach. So they invite the whole. The whole community. It's, you know, 50 to probably 75 people who wind up coming throughout the day. And it's my son, Max. It's the highlight of his year because he basically never puts a shirt on. He goes bodyboarding or boogie boarding for two and a half hours. Then he throws down about four hot dogs, and then he lights off about 300 worth of fireworks. And then the one thing that I. I think I've told you, the one thing that my. My in laws do, which is totally meshuggah, because they are literally the most. What I. What I look up to them about is that they are so polite and amenable that they're very rarely. Like, even if they disagree with something, they'll just kind of go with it because they'll be like, to what end am I gonna, you know, take a stand? And they very much follow the rules in, like, a nice refreshing way. But they do this thing every Fourth of July. And it makes me laugh because I'm such a yid. I'm like, the legality of this is horrible. They take a massive slingshot and they fill up about 100.
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B
Oh, yeah, you told me this.
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A
They shoot them at people.
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B
It's crazy. It's crazy.
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A
What are you, nuts?
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B
It's a huge. What are you nuts? Huge.
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A
And people down at the beach are walking up until they see them coming. And so they start like, but, okay, we've once had this old Jewish grandmother come up and lose it, where I literally had to be like, mamala, it's okay. Like, you gotta calm down. I know these gentiles are nuts. Like, I'm speaking Yiddish. To calm her down, the police have come once. And then this year, some guy, it must have been drunk, went like this to accept the water balloon into his mouth. He wanted to catch it in his mouth. It busted his teeth. He came with blood in his mouth. He's like, you guys hit me in the mouth. We're like, well, you kind of asked for it. So I'm expecting them to be served with some kind of civil injunction.
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B
Yeah, that's a small suit. That's a small suit. Okay. Fun, but. Yeah, that is nuts. Really fun, though. That's like when I told you this story, Mardi Gras five years ago. I got a little bit too drunk, and I was just slinging those beads. Everybody slings beads. But I was on a balcony and I was slinging beads. I was probably hurting people.
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A
Were you?
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B
I don't know, 10 minutes.
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A
So were you getting flashed?
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B
Oh, everybody was flashing.
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A
Really?
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B
Did every. Oh, yeah, no, the streets were flashing, everybody. Me and Claudia are up. We were with Captain Morgan at the time. What did I say? Five years ago. This is over 10 years ago for sure. And we're up on these balconies on Bourbon street and I am taking these beads like I am a sniper and I am slinging them and I'm watching them like they're being pelted. I'm pelting people in the back with beads. Like, not nice, not cool whatsoever. And all of a sudden, incoming. I thought I was shot in the chest. Somebody threw their red frozen icee from the balcony across. It hit me straight in the chest. I thought I was shot. I looked down. It's red. I'm gushing. I. I really. I thought I was. I was shot. And then it smelled like cherry and I knew I was good. But do you think they knew, like,
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A
they saw you hucking?
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B
Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. This was an intentional hit. They saw me and they're like, this fucking asshole. We're gonna end him.
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A
That's.
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B
I got exactly what I. What I deserved. And I. I neglected to mention that it was me, Claudia, the captain from Captain Morgan, and Mia Khalifa. Mia Khalifa, Yes. Back when she was. Back when she was just a run of the mill porn star.
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A
And how was she? Nice.
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B
Lovely.
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A
Good for her.
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B
Big fan. Anyway.
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A
Okay, so what did you do for the. Wait. I'm thinking about breasts still.
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B
Okay.
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A
Did you know and I. We can ask chat this as well that. I guess unofficially, it's legal on Bourbon street during Mardi Gras to flash your breasts. But if you are a man and you flash, any part of you go to jail right away.
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B
Your shirt too. Like, if you take off your shirt.
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A
No, shirt's fine. But like, if you were to like, take out your hog dick.
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B
That makes sense.
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A
No, it's in jail.
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B
I don't know. Yeah, breasts are different.
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A
Breasts are just very European.
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B
Yeah, breasts are different. They're not. Like, if you have a girl just like spreading her legs and showing you her cooter, she should go to jail. The same way that. Yeah, if you just have Horny John on the street walking around with a boner. We got to get him out of here. We don't need him there. But if you just have Theresa on a girls trip, just, I don't know, with the nipple tassels, just having a good time. She's harmless.
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A
But maybe a Victor feels so inclined because he's all, you know, lace horned up and giant red daiquiris. And the ladies are like, show us your, you know, flaccid hog. And he's like, fine, I will appease you, you know, people, if.
- [28:23]
B
If he was taunted, I think it's a different story. This episode of the Good Guys podcast
- [28:28]
C
is brought to you by our friends at Resort Pass. Folks, you know I love Resort Pass because the idea is genius. You're going to go on vacation. Let's start with the vacation, because there's two different options here, two different routes. We can be on vacation and we can be on a staycation. Let's go vacation. Let's say maybe, I don't know, you're. You're really interested in this little boutique hotel because it looks so quaint, so nice, so relaxing. Not so many people you really want to stay there. But oh man, it doesn't have a spa or it doesn't have an enormous pool, but oh my God, I booked, by coincidence, I booked the beautiful boutique hotel right next to the monster mega hotel that has all of these things. And I got a resort pass. So I can go for my boutique hotel, spend a couple hours at the spa. Okay, spend a couple hours at the pool. But then I get to go back to my relaxing hotel.
- [29:17]
B
I don't have to crap where I eat whatever it is.
- [29:20]
C
I can stay in the beautiful, relaxing boutique hotel and then I can go to the gorgeous big five star hotel, four star hotel, whatever, whatever you want,
- [29:28]
B
and use their amenities.
- [29:30]
C
It's genius. Or on the flip side, a little staycation.
- [29:33]
B
Okay, we're.
- [29:34]
C
We're hanging out at our hotel and we're hanging out at our apartment in Hoboken and we want to venture into the city for a nice spa day, a nice pool day, rooftop pool. You can do it all on Resort Pass, folks. Go to resortpass.com goodguys and use code good guys for $20 off your first booking of $100 or more. Resort Pass spelled R E S O R T p a s s.com Goodguys code Goodguys Resort Pass. The day is yours.
- [30:03]
B
This episode of the Good Guys podcast
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C
is brought to you by our friends at Mint Mobile. Folks, there are a few things in life that you don't want to be transparent, like your swimsuit or your stuff search history. But when it comes to your wireless bill, transparency is everything. That's why Mint Mobile's wireless plans have no gimmicks and no gotchas, just high speed data. And reliable coverage on the T Mobile 5G network. And right now, all plans are $15 a month.
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Even unlimited.
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B
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- [31:38]
A
So what did you do for the 4th?
- [31:40]
B
Cooked so much. You know, I'm here, whole family's here. And the second that we get here, I become that guy that I love. Kevin Ashton, the sorority chef on TikTok. Like, I'm just like cooking huge full meals. But fourth of July, we did burgers, we did dogs, we did chicken, we went to the pool, pushed Ruby on the beautiful bucket swing, walked around, went to some farmers markets. Like, it's just, it's just so relaxing out here. It's so nice and it's like different. Like everybody has in their heads because of like what they see on TikTok. Like, it's like this big party scene and it's like, yeah, if you want to go to Montauk and you want to seek out the parties, you can, but otherwise it's really relaxing. We did go to. So just for like 45 minutes, we went to a crane club party, which is Tao Group. Noah Tepperberg. Friday night at this insane house in Sagaponic. And this was like, it was two days after Michael Rubin's white party, which I'm sure you saw. Like, every celebrity in the world goes to that party. So I thought there'd maybe be some celebrity sightings. And this is a. This is a serious party. Carl Anthony Towns was there. So hot. It was so hot, we had to leave. But yeah, Big Cat was there. Carl Anthony Towns, Noah. Who else was there? Jesse Solomon, Noah Tepperberg.
- [33:04]
A
Oh, who's that?
- [33:06]
B
John Noah owns Tao Group with Jason.
- [33:08]
A
Okay.
- [33:09]
B
It's his part. It's his partner, Jason Strauss.
- [33:11]
A
The great Jason Strauss.
- [33:13]
B
John Schwartz was there, who works with them. Who else was there? So many people were there. I don't know why I'm forgetting everybody but Karl Anthony Towns. But Carl Anthony Towns, like, seeing him, for those that don't know, center of the New York, the now championship New York Knicks. Just, like, seeing him there, I'm like, oh, wow. Like, that was.
- [33:33]
A
It was.
- [33:33]
B
It was pretty crazy.
- [33:37]
A
Speaking of basketball, what do we think about LeBron leaving the Lakers and possibly joining one more team one more time?
- [33:45]
B
Look, me and you were both Kobe guys, okay? Biggest, no matter what, there's Kobe fans and LeBron fans. I don't know how it happened, but that's how it happened. You can't be. You can. I can appreciate LeBron. Let me just say that first and foremost, the probably the greatest athlete of all time. Like, you have to put longevity into the equation at some point. And what he's able to do at 40 years old, I read something that he's played against guys that were born in 2006 and 1966. Like, there was like some crazy. Like, the.
- [34:22]
C
The.
- [34:22]
A
The.
- [34:24]
B
His career is just so unbelievably impressive. That said, he just always feels so narcissistic and he feels so pick me. And with all these. First, it was the decision nationally televised. Yanked the chain of New York Knick fans, went to Miami. Like, he can't just do it normally, right? He has to make it a publicity stunt. He has to have Rich Paul leak. Here are the top 10 teams that he could consider. And then we all talk about it, and it's all a big thing. And I guess I can't fault him for being a great marketer. But Jordan wouldn't do this. But Kobe wouldn't do this. Basketball players don't do this. This is. He's a media mogul. He's beyond the sport. But it bothers me. I don't know where I think he should go. I think it would be way cooler if he just, like, won with his current team. He is Luka Doncic. I guess he's entitled to. Not like Los Angeles, just like other people don't like Los Angeles. Like, maybe he doesn't want to live there anymore, and he's earned the right to be able to do that. I don't want him on the Knicks, I'll tell you that. Don't break up this fucking team. Don't do that. Don't you dare.
- [35:34]
A
I don't know why you do. I don't know how you take a winning formula, winning recipe, and add in someone who would take up the air in the room deservedly and undeservedly, regardless. I mean, he is, yeah, as you said, the great. But, yeah, I don't know why you would ever mess with that chemistry.
- [35:55]
B
I think that it depends on what type of owner you are. Are you an owner that chases dollars because you have LeBron James? You're never going to sell more jerseys. You're never going to sell more tickets. Like LeBron just raises 1000%, raises the value of the team. Even if the Knicks are here. It goes here from a dollars and cents perspective, but I think Dolan won. The Knicks are on fire. The Garden's on fire. Tickets couldn't be more expensive. So I hope he does the right thing and doesn't do it, but I would get it from an owner's perspective why you'd want LeBron James, but I think he should go. I'd love to see him in Miami. I know he already played for the Heat, but to go there. They just got Giannis. They have bam.
- [36:40]
C
All of a sudden.
- [36:41]
B
This could be like a new, cool, super team. I'd love to see them in Minnesota. Minnesota hasn't won a championship in so long.
- [36:47]
A
You don't want to see him do his final year in Cleveland.
- [36:51]
B
I. I don't.
- [36:52]
A
Join the great James Harden. Heavy James Harden.
- [36:56]
B
Yeah, he's heavy. Big body, J. Oh, this actually is a perfect segue. But I don't want to stop this.
- [37:02]
A
Just stop it if you want. Who cares? They don't care about basketball. The people that listen to us got bigger problems, like Mahjan and. And GLP1.
- [37:10]
B
Literally. Josh, the DUI. Look, drinking and driving. Let's start there, okay? Very illegal. Not a good thing to do. Don't drink and drive. It's not legal, but it's also just classless. It's dangerous, loserish. On my way over here, I was eating sushi and driving. I was driving slow, not illegal. But, Josh, I would argue that eating sushi and driving is more dangerous than drinking and driving.
- [37:44]
A
Depends on the role.
- [37:44]
B
It depends on how much. It depends on the role. I was eating with my Hands. But it depends on the role, and it depends on how much you were drinking. But I'm just saying, the idea of drinking and driving, you're very rarely drinking and driving. You've drunk and drove, right? Unless you're a complete idiot that wants to be pulled over. You're not drinking a beer while you drive.
- [38:04]
A
Listen, you don't call my friends idiots, okay? They're called suffering alcoholics.
- [38:09]
B
They're not drinking while they're driving. They drank and they drove.
- [38:13]
A
Sure.
- [38:13]
B
I'm eating and driving, and I often eat and drive. Sandwich drive, chips drive, sushi drive. Why isn't that illegal?
- [38:27]
A
Because it would really take away a lot of my fun.
- [38:32]
B
You. Oh, so you eat and drive, too?
- [38:35]
A
Eat and drive. When I'm going to a college appearance, I remember I was doing one at the University of Rhode Island. So I rented myself a nice Chrysler Pacifica. Beautiful minivan.
- [38:46]
C
Wow.
- [38:47]
B
Beautiful.
- [38:47]
A
Really luxury. I stayed in Boston, so they have the famous cannoli shops. Mike's Cannoli. These places are unbelievable. I mean, my favorite thing, these dense, beautiful Italian desserts that you can only get, especially in New England. But on the East Coast, I. I'm ripping cannolis. Vaping. And third in third place is driving. Okay, I remember someone was, like, rolled down your window. I was like, oh, my God. Like, this person's about to give me a hard time. They're like, we're going to see you at the college. I said, okay. They were like, you okay? I was like, no, not even close.
- [39:32]
B
Okay, it's like. It's like right before you go into the birthday party, you see the clown smoking a cigarette, right?
- [39:41]
A
Just ripping darts.
- [39:44]
B
You okay? No, otherwise I wouldn't be here with you. I wouldn't be here. I'd be somewhere else. No, I'm not okay.
- [39:53]
A
It's so hard.
- [39:56]
B
Is anybody okay? Josh?
- [39:59]
A
Is anyone okay? Is anyone okay? Considering we're in the Matrix? Like, we're basically at the end of the first act of the Matrix, and you're basically choosing, you know, what's. What's hard for me is I vacillate between. You know, this is meaningless, right, Josh? You know you'll be forgotten, right, Josh? You know that this is just like a weird simulation if anything, right, Josh? So don't care about anything. Don't become emotionally tied to anything, Josh. And I go, you're right. Me. And then I go, God, do I want that reoccurring role on Reba. Like, Like. And then the. What's it called? Like, the desires of the Flesh, like. And then I just get caught up in the bullshit that, like, I know is meaningless. You.
- [40:47]
B
I know, I know. And it's just the irony of the more you seem to really want something, the less likely it is to happen. And the second you forget about whatever you really wanted, it happens, right?
- [41:03]
A
This episode is brought to you by Starbucks.
- [41:06]
C
Josh, have you ever seen a more gorgeous.
- [41:09]
B
Do you know what this is?
- [41:11]
A
First of all, it's the summer I'm ready to enjoy myself, but I need a cold drink to define me. So I'm all in. Just a disclaimer. Go, Ben.
- [41:20]
B
This tropical butterfly refresher is honestly like an award winning painting. I've never seen anything like it. I feel like I'm in East Hampton. It's eight o'.
- [41:30]
A
Clock.
- [41:31]
B
I turned to my wife, I said, let's go to the beach. Let's prioritize us. And all of a sudden I see this drink. This is it, Josh. This is a happy summer. This is a happy summer.
- [41:43]
A
And you know what? You're in East Hampton. I'm in the carpool line at my kids camp. My wife's frustrated with me. We've been dealing with. I can't tell you what, but the truth is, I go, I need a little something to pep up my day. Tropical refresher. Boom.
- [41:58]
B
It's gorgeous. This is the pep in the. This is the pep in my step that I need.
- [42:02]
C
Josh, can we give this a taste? Let me try this.
- [42:05]
A
Too late, too late.
- [42:06]
B
Oh, my God.
- [42:07]
C
Oh, my God.
- [42:08]
B
Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh,
- [42:08]
C
my God, oh, my God.
- [42:09]
B
It is so freaking good. Oh, my God, it is so good.
- [42:12]
C
Are you.
- [42:12]
A
Are you getting those guava and passion fruit flavors? Coming through.
- [42:16]
B
That's exactly what I'm getting. This is passion fruit.
- [42:20]
A
You know what they are, actually, I think they're mango pineapple flavored pearls.
- [42:25]
B
Oh, my God.
- [42:26]
C
Oh, my God.
- [42:27]
A
I mean, it makes drinking fun, right? Like, I'm so tired of just, like, hitting the straw, getting the liquid. I want a little something, like a little surprise, you know?
- [42:35]
C
This is the most delicious drink I've ever had.
- [42:37]
B
And if you want yours, you can order it on the Starbucks app. Every day I wake up, I put in my order on the app. I go, there, it's ready. This was literally ready.
- [42:45]
A
This drink is literally your summer cheat code. It's tropical, it's refreshing, like us. I got a nice. Thank you here. Sometimes I get a, you know, like a little inspirational quote.
- [42:57]
B
Oh, Starbucks.
- [42:59]
A
Wow.
- [42:59]
B
Delicious.
- [43:02]
A
So good.
- [43:02]
B
Unlock all the best summer memories with the tropical butterfly Refresher at Starbucks. That's the part that's so. I don't understand it. I know it's. It has something to do with energy. I'm not trying to be hocus pocus here. I don't know how it works. I'm just saying that whenever I focused really hard on wanting something, and that's not saying anything, that's actually in your control. Going to the gym, eating, anything you can control is 100% hard work. That's it. But anything outside your control, like getting cast for a part, you can be amazing. It doesn't mean you're gonna get the role. And it seems that the more you focus on getting the role, the harder it is to get the role. But when you don't focus on it, you just go do a great audition. You don't check up with your agent, they call you and say you got it. I don't know that for sure. I just know that that's the way that the world seems to work for me in other regards. So I assume it works for you that way too. And I don't know why that is. So, yeah, I think that. I think that we're great, but I do think that the collective should focus a little bit more on the truly important things, knowing that if we focus less on the less important things, they'll happen anyways. Does that make sense?
- [44:19]
A
It does. Specifically about entertainment and what I do. I think what's maddening is that if you were in sports and you were truly great and you had statistics to support the fact that. That you are really, really good. There's no world in which an NBA team says, yeah, but we don't like his look.
- [44:45]
B
But with acting, they could say, though, Josh, I don't like his attitude. I don't like. I don't like the influence that his friends have on him. That happened with John Morant. Let's take Ja Morant. Jamarant, for those that don't know, was one of the greatest, highest rated prospects ever. Was drafted second in the draft with Zion Williamson, went to the Grizzlies, and the people around him were just like gang members. Like, he was just like, always caught with firearms. They were like he was in the wrong crowd.
- [45:22]
A
But what about his opps? You're leaving out that he might have had ops. Don't forget the ops.
- [45:35]
B
He can't. He was in the wrong crowd. And Josh, he became. You don't hear about him anymore. The media stopped talking about him. His contracts aren't as big as they should. Have been.
- [45:48]
A
But he plays.
- [45:49]
B
He plays because he's so. But he's like, he's so talented. He's so talented. Like, he should be the guy. There was another guy that I remember he played for. This is a very special circumstance, but he played for the Rockets. And he was afraid of flying.
- [46:08]
A
Hell, yeah.
- [46:09]
B
This guy was like an unbelievable prodigy, but he was afraid of flying. And you can't fucking play in the NBA if you can't get on a plane. You have to go to places. Not the same thing, but like. Or if an owner.
- [46:20]
A
Because Annex.
- [46:22]
B
Yeah, totally. Or more like, there's something harder than a Xanax. Have somebody tranquilize you and you'll wake up there.
- [46:29]
A
You know, this might be an urban legend, but I heard that about, you know, Whoopi Goldberg famously was terrified of flying. And so she would take a tour bus all over America for whatever dates or things, engagements that she had. And then. And obviously she has a stunning, gorgeous, palatial house in Saddle River, New Jersey. Have you.
- [46:49]
B
Saddle River.
- [46:50]
A
Saddle River. Have you ever heard the Chris Rock bit about Saddle River?
- [46:54]
B
No.
- [46:54]
A
I think he said something to the effect of like, I live in. I live in Saddle River, New Jersey. No. He goes. He's like, I. He says, I live in Saddle River, New Jersey. He's like, my. My neighbors are Eddie Murphy, arguably one of the greatest comedic talents to ever live. He goes. And Mary J. Blige, arguably one of the greatest R B singers to ever live. He goes, you want to know what my white neighbor does? He's a dentist.
- [47:26]
B
So good.
- [47:27]
A
It's so good. I hear what you're saying about the NBA thing, and I agree. We know that to be true about every business, but especially entertainment. Like, there is the, you know, life is too short list. I think Vince Vaughn went through that for a while where it's just like certain people start to get a reputation where despite being obscenely talented, they get put in a timeout for sure. But let's assume that it doesn't have to do with attitude or, you know, we don't like how they're going to be for the culture of the team. Like, in acting, you could be the best person for the part and yet like a better actor than the rest of the. But physically looks wise. Your. Your value as. As an actor just doesn't compute with the equation that they're putting together. And you don't get the part. I think that's what's uniquely maddening about this business is that. And it's. And it's really acting. Right. Because, like, if you're a singer, if you're a painter, if you're a different kind of creative, you could really do it on your own. But as an actor, you're asking to be put into the recipe of someone else's thing. You're a cog in their wheel. It's not a sole performance. It's really a team sport. And they might go, you are the best, and you still don't get it. And that's where I see. That's why I feel so grateful to have this, to have social media, to be able to. To host things and. And to write and all the other things I do. Because I think if I just had acting, I would have lost my mind long ago. And as an athlete, they literally can tell you at 30 or 35, like, stop trying. You can't anymore. But as an actor, you could say at 60, like, I bet if I just went to the right acting class, I could be Judd Hirsch, you know, I could be that.
- [49:24]
B
Yeah.
- [49:25]
A
You know what I mean? Does that make sense?
- [49:27]
B
It makes perfect sense. The arts are super subjective, which is what makes it hard.
- [49:31]
A
Exactly.
- [49:33]
B
And so the only thing that I disagree with is that the same thing doesn't happen to a singer or something. It does. I think that we have shows like the Voice and like American Idol, which really allow particularly not to always bring it back to fat people, but give. But give really fat people a chance to show that their voices are really fucking like. I think that more often than not, you need the whole package as a singer when you're coming up. They're not just looking for somebody with an amazing voice. More often than not, actually, they don't want the perfect voice. They want the full stage presence. They want the Christina Aguilera.
- [50:12]
C
They want.
- [50:12]
B
Believe me, there are people with better vocals than Britney Spears. But Britney Spears had it, had everything.
- [50:18]
A
Yes. Star quality.
- [50:20]
B
Star quality. Because in the end of the day, it's the same exact thing as what you're.
- [50:24]
C
What you're doing.
- [50:25]
B
They're building people up. They can even take somebody that is very moldable and put them in that position. That's like what entertainment in Hollywood does. But, yeah, there are people with way better voices than every musician currently in the top 10. Way better. They will never, ever, ever be successful musicians. That's also why TikTok is super cool. Because I'll stumble upon, again, really fat people with really great voices.
- [50:55]
A
Like the best.
- [50:57]
B
Sometimes the best voices. Yeah.
- [50:59]
A
I would love to have, like, an ENT or like an Audiologist or, like, a vocal. Like, because heavyset people have, like, better voices.
- [51:07]
B
They do.
- [51:08]
A
Pavarotti.
- [51:10]
B
They do. It might also just be that when you hear. When you hear a big, big mama sing, you just, like, you're so. You get so much more excited. Like.
- [51:20]
A
Like.
- [51:21]
B
I don't know.
- [51:22]
A
I would bet you if Teddy Swims went on a GLP3, you know, read a True tide, we go v one of these, it wouldn't be, you know, it wouldn't have that. That. That deep deep. Wouldn't have that deep deep.
- [51:34]
B
We're watching it right now in real time. Happen to Jelly Roll, Jerry, Jelly Roll's career is over. He might say that. He might be happy and skinny. Yeah, Josh being fat was a big thing for him. Like, that's why he was so relatable.
- [51:49]
C
I don't know.
- [51:51]
B
Like, that's intense. Is that what happened to me? That's. That's why I stay poor. That's why I don't lose the last 20. I want to remain relatable. Josh has nothing to do with willpower.
- [52:03]
A
So true. You are a man of the people.
- [52:05]
B
Okay, my very, very quick, very, very stupid. What are you nuts, Josh? You walk into a coffee shop, okay, you get yourself your nice iced coffee, and they say, room for milk scam. What are you, nuts? No, I don't want room for milk. Room for milk implies that on the side, there's milk, half and half and skim milk. They're all the accoutrements for my coffee. Why the hell would I want room? I can take a sip down. What are you trying to give me less coffee? What are you trying to shave a couple of pennies off of what you're doing now? If you were making my coffee in the back, then you'd create room for milk because you're putting in the milk yourself. Why would I want you to create room for milk for me? I'll take a sip. Scammers. What are you, nuts?
- [52:53]
A
Tell them. So it's really.
- [52:54]
B
I think it's really. What are you nuts? More on the people that say that. Yeah, I'd love some room for milk. You want half the coffee? What are you, an idiot?
- [53:03]
A
And you know what? Keep your fucking ice, too.
- [53:06]
B
Sure, I'm down for that.
- [53:08]
A
Don't crowd my drink. I'll. You know what? Give me a separate cup with ice, and I'll add as needed.
- [53:14]
B
That's a genius plan. Yeah, ice as needed, Josh. This episode's five stars. Otherwise, what are you, nuts?
- [53:20]
A
Listen to us.
- [53:21]
B
Whoever gets your podcast, watch us on YouTube, share our clips. Most importantly, watch us on Spotify. Okay? Spotify. The video through the roof. I think it's 4K. I don't know any of these things. It looks fantastic.
- [53:34]
A
So good.
- [53:35]
B
It's on your phone. It's so good.
- [53:37]
A
It's so good.
- [53:38]
B
I have it vertical. I have it horizontal. I have a vertical. I have it horizontal. Sometimes I can make myself seasick. I'm turning it so much. It's so good. Mondays and Thursdays, folks. We will see you next time.