GOOD GUYS – MEL ROBBINS. Enough Said. Podcast: Good Guys (Dear Media) Air Date: January 5, 2026

EPISODE OVERVIEW

This lively episode of Good Guys features hosts Josh Peck and Ben Soffer in conversation with bestselling author and motivational speaker Mel Robbins. The trio dives deep into key ideas from Mel’s latest book, The Let Them Theory, discussing personal growth, overcoming discouragement, the role of spirituality, and pragmatic approaches to changing one's mindset and habits. Blending humor, vulnerability, and practical advice, the episode is a toolkit for anyone looking to thrive, set boundaries, and take actionable steps towards improvement in 2026.

KEY DISCUSSION POINTS & INSIGHTS

1. Overcoming Discouragement and the Desire to Thrive (02:15–06:24)

   • Mel underscores the mental and societal challenges faced by people dealing with weight or other setbacks, noting that effort often goes unseen.
   • She shares an insightful quote from Alice Walker: “The most common way people give up their power is by believing they don’t have any.” (06:24)

2. The Power of Mindset & Habitual Positivity (07:00–10:23)

   • Ben shares his shift from negativity to positivity, citing conscious effort and examples like weight loss and support from his wife (08:42).
   • Mel explains how training the mind to focus on what’s going well is a learnable skill, not innate, citing research about how our minds reinforce what we focus on.

3. The Neurological Case for Positivity & Manifesting (15:16–21:25)

   • Mel introduces Dr. Lisa Miller’s research on the universality of spirituality—how awe, connection, and gratitude boost well-being, regardless of religious setting.
   • She debunks the myth that manifesting is “woo-woo”, detailing its basis in neuroscience: “Manifesting is just a four-step process where you intentionally change the settings in your mind using four different centers of your brain...” (19:34)

4. The Reticular Activating System & “Red Car Phenomenon” (21:29–24:59)

   • Mel explains how the brain’s filtering system (“the RAS”) causes us to notice what we set as important—apply it to finding hearts in daily life or seeing opportunities. (Example: Noticing a sage green Toyota after thinking about one.)
   • “You can change the settings in your mind by getting very clear about what’s important... your brain is trying to help you see what you want to see.” (24:07)

5. The Let Them Theory: Boundaries, Control, and Acceptance (30:58–42:00)

   • Mel unpacks her Let Them Theory—letting go of the need to control others, focusing on self, and recognizing boundaries.
   • “The faster you give up control, the more control you gain. And the number one thing you will never be able to control is other people.” (31:13)
   • Discussion on helping vs. judging, especially regarding addiction, and the necessity for individuals to arrive at change on their own timelines.
   • Josh adds: “No one changes on a good day... your bottom is when you decide to stop digging.” (35:45)

6. Fixers, Gender Dynamics, and “Weaponizing Truth” (40:08–44:39)

   • Ben and Mel discuss the instinct to fix others’ problems, especially relevant in male-female relationships.
   • Mel offers a practical script: “Do you want me to listen or do you want my advice?” (41:13)
   • Josh comments: “Don’t weaponize the truth... if you’re not doing it in a loving way, you might be ineffective.” (41:47)

7. Let Them Theory Applied to Social Media and Modern Challenges (49:50–54:00)

   • Ben and Mel dissect the unique challenges posed by today’s always-on technology and social media, applying the Let Them Theory to the onslaught of negativity and the need for boundaries.
   • Mel: “Give yourself a little bit of grace because your brain is doing exactly what the platforms have designed it to do.” (51:45)

8. Actionable Advice: Changing Habits and Building Systems (54:16–65:40)

   • Mel urges moving away from willpower toward systems and environmental changes—suggests starting small, e.g., don’t pull out your phone while in line (54:59).
   • She explains: “If you’re addicted to cocaine, you wouldn’t sleep next to an eight ball... if you truly want to spend less time on your phone, make it easier to not reach for it.” (56:03)
   • Explains the importance of acting before motivation strikes and starting with difficult tasks early in the day to build momentum.

9. Start, Stop, Continue: Setting 2026 Up for Success (65:57–71:02)

   • Mel and her husband’s annual exercise: looking back at the year through “lows, highs, lessons”; then “what will I stop, start, and continue?” for the year ahead.
   • “The most important thing to understand about setting yourself up for success is... goals as directions—you need to know where you want to go and your starting point.” (66:59)

NOTABLE QUOTES & MEMORABLE MOMENTS

• Mel Robbins (on discouragement):

  “If you don’t believe there’s anything you can do about it, or that you’ve tried so many times and failed, why bother? Then you won’t actually try.” (05:30)

• Alice Walker, quoted by Mel:

  “The most common way that people give up their power is by believing they don’t have any.” (06:24)

• Mel (on mind training):

  “Your brain is trying to help you see what you want to see.” (24:07)

• Josh Peck (on change and addiction):

  “No one changes on a good day. You have to hit a bottom... your bottom is when you decide to stop digging.” (35:45)

• Mel (on Let Them Theory):

  “Just let other people be who they are and who they’re not. And then let me focus on my thoughts and actions and the way I process my feelings so that I’m proud of myself.” (32:18)

• Mel (on habit change):

  “If you can get your ass out of bed on the mornings you don’t want to, instead of picking up the phone and doom scrolling... If you can get up on those mornings, you now have the skill you need in order to create anything over time.” (59:45)

• Mel (on goal setting):

  “What were the lows? What were the highs? What were the lessons? ...What am I going to stop, start, and continue?” (66:59)

TIMESTAMPS FOR IMPORTANT SEGMENTS

• 02:15 – Discussion of discouragement, hard work, and thriving
• 06:24 – Quote from Alice Walker and the power of belief
• 08:42 – Ben’s personal transformation and mental health shift
• 15:16 – Importance of spirituality, Dr. Lisa Miller’s research
• 19:34 – Manifesting, neuroscience, and creating change
• 21:29 – Heart-spotting & RAS “Red Car Phenomenon”
• 30:58 – Let Them Theory explained
• 35:45 – Addiction, boundaries, enabling, and bottoming out
• 41:13 – “Do you want me to listen or do you want my advice?”
• 49:50 – Applying Let Them Theory to social media and modern distractions
• 54:59 – Practical habit change: start with small shifts
• 59:45 – The myth of motivation and actionable change
• 65:57 – Start, Stop, Continue: practical New Year’s planning

LISTENER TAKEAWAYS

• Focus on what you can control—namely, yourself and your reactions—rather than expending energy trying to change others.
• Begin each day with an intentional mindset ("Today's going to be a good day"), and your brain will help you spot opportunities, possibilities, and "the good" as you go.
• Accept that improvement is a process of action before motivation, and that systems/environment matter more than willpower alone.
• Do a year-in-review with six simple questions (lows, highs, lessons, stop, start, continue) to build awareness and effective, personalized goals for the new year.
• Boundaries, acceptance, and strategic withdrawal (“grey rocking”) are vital skills for dealing with challenging relationships.
• Apply self-compassion when struggling with technology or habits—the pull is designed into our world, not a failing of willpower alone.

For the full “Start, Stop, Continue” workbook: melrobbins.com/bestyear

LISTENER-FRIENDLY SUMMARY

If you haven’t listened, this is a fast-moving, funny, and deeply helpful episode—full of real-changing tools, candid stories, and a warmth that makes tough lessons feel possible. Whether you’re setting 2026 goals, trying to support someone you love, or just tired of your phone running your life, Mel Robbins and the Good Guys have something actionable for you.