B (1:56)

Wow. Unbelievable. You look like a field goal.

C (2:03)

Thank God I can do this. Now you look like a field goal. If you're not watching on YouTube. If you're not watching on YouTube, you're making a huge mistake. Josh. When I was taking a quick piss, I went on and I saw somebody took a picture of an. She Instagram storied her watching on her tablet while she was at work. And. And I just have to say more people should be doing that. Okay. And if you tag. And if you tag us, we'll repost you. And I say tablet because we are agnostic. You want to use your Samsung Galaxy Tablet? No problem. If you want to use your competitor Tablet. No problem. We are agnostic.

B (2:41)

Tab it up. Watch us on YouTube. Regardless. Watch us on Reddit. Are we on Reddit?

C (2:47)

I hope not. I really hope not. By the way, we're definitely on Reddit. And what they're talking about is not good.

B (2:55)

I mean, I've tried. Luckily, I'm weirdly tech phobic in ways that have censored me from all of like the extreme hate that I'm sure I get. Because like, basically I just twitter my, like Twitter search my name every couple months and all I see is the fuck he doing in Oppenheimer. Like, you know what I mean?

C (3:18)

I don't like self inflicted pain. I'm actually pretty good about that. Like, if I. If you said to me, I have an envelope. You're holding an envelope in front of me with the 10 worst things that your friends said about you over the past year, your best friends, I would say keep the envelope. And I wouldn't even. And I. And I wouldn't even think about it. I don't like to self inflict pain. If you're talking about me behind my back, it was behind my back for a reason. I don't want to hear it. And I feel the same way. Except it's magnified about people online. You have nasty things to say about me. I'll see if it's in my DMs, but if it's outside of my DMs, I am not looking for it because it will. It'll. It'll ruin me. I can't do it.

B (4:02)

How are you doing that?

A (4:04)

I do, I do check my. I check the comments.

B (4:06)

Yeah, you do.

A (4:07)

I have a hater for the podcast. Yeah, I have one hater.

B (4:10)

That's good.

C (4:11)

That's how you know you're winning.

B (4:12)

You got to give some. You got to be doing something worth hating. That means you're doing shit for sure. Garbage ass. Name. What do you go to? University of Wisconsin. Oh, Hannah Berner's alma mater. She played D1 tennis. We get it, Hannah. We know you played tennis in college.

C (4:29)

No, I'm kidding.

B (4:30)

Big fan. We love you, Hannah. We love Paige. We love Giggly squad.

C (4:33)

Fantastic. By the way, I can't hear anything Olivia is saying, so I'm just going to say things like.

B (4:37)

Yeah, you can't hear what she's saying.

C (4:40)

You don't hear me. No balls.

B (4:44)

Well, you can finish. We're. We're having a bit of a. For anyone listening, we're having a bit of a studio technical problem.

C (4:51)

You have split headphones only One of them, I think, has a mic in it.

B (4:56)

Ah, Olivia.

C (4:58)

No more, by the way. Thank God. Thank God it's yours. Yeah, that was luck of the draw. We would have been worried trying to figure out that tech for a while. Yeah.

B (5:09)

All right, Olivia, last thing you get to say for the podcast. I'll tell you what she says. No.

A (5:14)

If I had an envelope that had something that, you know, people have said bad about me behind my back, I want to read it, and I want to validate what I think about myself sometimes. You know what I mean?

B (5:24)

Your worst suspicion. That you're not enough.

A (5:26)

Exactly.

B (5:27)

That's what we all have. Welcome to the human race, basically, Ben. Basically, Ben, Olivia is a member of the human race, and she wants to read the bad things that people wrote about her to validate her worst fears, which is she isn't enough. Which. Join the party.

C (5:46)

I understand. I would definitely urge everybody to try to not do that, but I totally get doing it. It's. It. Yeah, it's most people. I think most people. If somebody approached them and said, I have the 10 worst things that your friends have said about you here. Do you want to read them? I think 99% of people would read it.

B (6:07)

But wouldn't that also be way more crushing that it's your friends instead of just the 10 worst things anyone has said about you?

C (6:14)

Totally. I use that as an extreme that I really like. I do not want to know anything that anybody says about me behind my back. Unless. Unless these are not, like, character flaws. Unless it, like, of course, like, puts me in danger or if it directly relates to work or something. Of course that if you're. If you're a rat, I want to know. But if you're just, like, saying that I'm like, a fat fuck or, like, was like, a bad friend or something, I don't know. That obviously was not true. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it.

B (6:47)

Do you think that? I think this is a good quality about me, but it's spawned from the fact that I have many bad qualities, which is that. And my wife gives me credit for this, so I know it's true because she so rarely does, but she. She. I. I am aware that I need work, and I'm down to do the work. And I know that I probably have bad habits which steps on the toes of my fellows. Right. Like, I do certain things that might turn people off because I've seen it in my life, throughout my life. I have amazing friends. I have amazing family. And relationships and all these things. But as of recently, I've become aware and understood that I was doing something that was turning people off. And I've probably done it my whole life. And I'm like, I'm working on it. And I think at 38, that's rare. I think a lot of people just go, I'm fully cooked. I'm baked. Take it or leave it. This is, you know, the Josh pie. And I'm like, no, we can still, you know, throw me back in. I might need a couple more minutes. Extra crispy.

C (7:57)

I think this is a new thing, Josh, not just for you, but I think, like, in general, our generation and the gen zers like Olivia, not the ones that are nuts, the gen zers like Olivia. I think that we are all, like, with the things that we buy, like, to the things that we talk about. I do think, to the things that we ingest. I think that we are obsessed with bettering ourselves. So I don't think that. I think that, like, if you talk to your mom or my parents and ask, I 1000% think that they thought that they were fully baked. Like, but. But now I think that if you do talk to other. I love that you're trying to call yourself 40 at 38. Like, that's just. You're just not 40. I think that if you talk to other people in their 30s, they. We are constantly trying to better ourselves. I know I'm trying to better myself every day in every respect. There are certain things I do, and we talk about this all the time. Like, I definitely talk a lot about it, and I don't always act on those things. Right. Like, I should be going to the gym more than I do, but I love taking a supplement that I think will make me feel better, even though I do know that, like, the core way to make myself feel better and have less inflammation isn't necessarily turmeric and GLPs. It's probably just running on the treadmill. But, yeah. But I do think that bettering ourselves is cool. I think, like, wellness is cool. It wasn't always cool, especially for men. Like having nice skin or having good habits or not drinking, like, all of a sudden not drinking is. Is cool. You know, it used to make you like, a loser if you didn't party. I think just, like, times are changing, so I think. I think you're bettering yourself is amazing, but I don't think that it's. I don't think it's a stigma anymore where people feel stuck. I think for the first time. Unless I'm privileged and live in just an environment where people are trying to get better, I think that people are trying to better themselves.

B (9:52)

I agree with you.

C (9:55)

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B (13:32)

Least how I notice it on social media culture is like sometimes the bettering yourself can turn into like this self centered jerk off. And I'll never forget I heard a woman share at a meeting once and she said two things that really like at a 12 step meeting and two things that has have stayed with me my whole life. She said, you're the love of your life. You're everything you've been searching for. You're the fish you've been trying to catch. And then she said, you know, in 12 step there's a process in which we look at like these, these defects, these things. Whether it's we're quick to anger or sloth or rage or jealousy or all these, you know, like the seven deadly sins, right? And we look at these things and we start to work on, on getting rid of them, right? Because they make our lives not great. And when shit's not great, people like me drink over it. So she said, you know, those defects, those things, they're kind of easy because who wants to get in a road rage that might get you killed, right? Who wants to be so deeply jealous that you lose your relationship because you were, you know, going through your spouse's phone? She's like, after you've done that stuff, you might go deeper, and you might start to see things that aren't. You don't think they're defects. You just think they are who you are. Like, yeah. She's like, you might have to lose some things that you think define you. Like that job that you think you can't live without, or that you're. That relationship that you think defines you. And it wasn't like your life should explode. It just was like, what are you willing to let go of that stands between you and joy, you and happiness, right? And while maybe it's the perfect relationship for you, for life, maybe it's the perfect job, maybe you need to let go of this thing because there's something better on the other side. So I just like that thing that I mentioned recently, which is just like, I'm very hard on myself, but I can be very hard on other people, and that doesn't fly. And that turns people off. That's a rough one, too. Like, when you look back and you're like, oh, I don't talk to Joe anymore, you know? And I'm like, he probably was turned off. It's a hard thing to face.

C (16:05)

It is. I think that real friends, though, would. Would confront you on that. I think that. Especially knowing you, like, I think that you're very receptive. Like, if I ever felt that way, for example, I think you're receptive to it. Like, real friends, in my opinion, don't just disappear. Like, I hate that quality in people. And I know people like that who, like, if you. If you make a mistake with a friend, they'll never talk to you again. And, like, that means that you just, like, weren't real friends. In my opinion, there's no problem in losing friends. Like, as we get older, we have less friends. We find less in common with people. We realize the people that maybe we thought were friends were really just drinking buddies or social buddies or party friends or there are different groups of friends, and then there's just, like, the friend and the friends that grow with you through every life stage. And a friend like that, I think, would be, I would hope, would be able to have a conversation as Opposed to just peeking out. Yeah, but. But maybe not. It's gonna sound like I'm complimenting myself, but one thing just while we're like having this episode of therapy that I've definitely been working on. Don't be afraid to get deep, Ben.

B (17:17)

It doesn't all have to be haha. Maybe that's your thing.

C (17:21)

It's positive.

B (17:22)

There I go being hard on you.

C (17:24)

He's not gonna talk to me anymore. It's. It's definitely magnified with Ruby. But I am a people pleaser to my core. I always have been. Like, I'm that friend that if I need to drive somewhere, if I need to go somewhere, if I need to pay for something, if I need to, I'm always doing. And when you're a constant doer, you do recognize sort of the leeches in your life that don't do, just take. Right. Don't offer, just take. And I do think that there was like. I just think that as I get older and as I'm with Ruby, my priorities are shifting. It's no longer I will make that time work that works for you, which was always me. Like, you tell me when works for you and I'll make it work now. It's not that. It's I will make like, I will make the time that works for me work. And if it doesn't work for you, I'm sorry. Which is a huge shift for me and it's something that I'm actively working on where I can't be as available as I once was. And the fact that the people in my life allowed me to be that available was selfish on their end. Does that make sense?

B (18:44)

But I feel like we always do the podcast at the time. That's good for you.

C (18:47)

Don't get me.

B (18:51)

Yeah, I think here, tell me. I'm gonna throw this out and you tell me if it rings true at all. And maybe it doesn't.

C (18:58)

Yeah.

B (18:59)

So people pleasing, the interesting side of that thing. Right. Because everything can be good in dosages. Right. And then it can.

C (19:06)

Sure.

B (19:06)

What. What's the phrase? Like a wonderful quality can become a defect in too much. So in my experience, people pleasing becomes. Hold this as you can have this as long as you do what I say. And to that extent of like real people pleasing can become a desire in which to control situations. Because I want to control the way you see me. So I'm going to make sure everything is done for and. And I'm the best and I'm the one who comes through and it's a wonderful quality because there's so many great things that you do for other people.

C (19:43)

But.

B (19:44)

But for me, at least when I've overdone it, it's because I was trying to control the situation and control you by overdoing, if that makes sense.

C (19:53)

It does. I can definitely say with 100% certainty that that's not. That's not me, like, at all. And this did just happen, which is why it's glaring. A friend that I have been paying for his whole life, I went to dinner with him and he didn't even take out his wallet. And I turn and I turned to him and I was like, okay, so we'll split this. Like. Like that. And that's not me controlling a situation. That's not like, I'm just at dinner with you. Like, I've paid for. And like, if he put out his. His card, I probably would have just said, I don't worry about it. No worries. Because I like that feeling. The feeling of knowing that somebody thinks that they just, like, are covered. Like, that was a terrible feeling. I hated it. I hated it. It was like, you don't even respect me enough to try and put down your credit card. Like, really. And that was the first time that it's ever happened. Like, it's always like, oh, we'll split it, or I'll be forthcoming and say, oh, I got this. Like, the bill came, I put down my card. He didn't move.

B (21:14)

Totally. But you don't think that, like, the example you gave before, this is kind of what I was saying, which is like, you made yourself overly available because there was probably some deep seated need to make. To make others happy. Sounds good. But it also was just like you weren't honoring yourself. And that wasn't. So that didn't speak for you. Like, there's that great Mike Tyson quote where they go, do you want anyone? What do you wish people understood about you better? He goes, nothing. Fuck you. Like, there's something fucking strong like what you're talking about now with Ruby sounds more balanced and what you had before. Imbalanced.

C (21:54)

Yeah, it's just like. But. But what's annoying is that I love doing the things that were imbalanced. It's just when the rubber meets the road, it's like, I love being the person who's going to pick you up. I love the person who's going to drive you home. I love being the person who's going to drive to your house or come downtown or go uptown or put this on my card. Or do this or do that. I love being that person until it's taken for granted and until I don't have the time to do it anymore. And then all of a sudden you're not reciprocating. I'm realizing that it's just a one way. It's a terrible one way street. And all of those great feelings of giving are. They're, they're gone. Like, I don't want to give you anything anymore. Which is a very hard pill to swallow.

B (22:43)

Yeah, I mean, it's like with your buddy, right? You saying, well, let's split it. It's like, it sounds like you were willing to be disliked. Like you were willing to do something that was going to turn him off because you were protecting and honoring you.

C (22:57)

Yeah. Like, it's not, it's not my. You're, you're in your 30s. Like, it's not my responsibility to pay for every meal of yours anymore. And if you're not even thankful for that, then I'm not doing it anymore. And it doesn't bother me. It used to bother me. I would, like, think to myself, oh, what is he thinking now? Or, oh, because of that. Like, I don't care.

B (23:21)

But that's, that's exactly what I was saying. It's that I don't care. Whereas before you were afraid not to do it because they might think negatively.

C (23:31)

Yes, a thousand percent, I was afraid. I was afraid always of what people thought and I was always afraid that I would upset someone. And I swear on my life, I don't know what happened. I do not care at all. Like, I swear on my life, I. I don't think about it for a second. And it's freeing. It's very freeing to not care. Because when you're constantly thinking, you're right, this is a great session. When you're constantly thinking about what other people think of you, that is a terrible way to live. Because I've lived that way and it's no good. It's not like, oh, why hasn't he responded in 10 minutes? Is he angry? Like, no, he's your friend and he like, went and took a dump. Like, shut the fuck up. He's fine. He's fine. He took a shower. He's not angry at you. Or if he is, who gives a shit? Like, and that's the power of. Yeah. Having an amazing family, wife and a son who's so much more important than those, than the nonsense going on in your brain. Like, I think, I think that's a change.

B (24:35)

I think growing up. Like, maybe.

C (24:37)

Maybe.

B (24:38)

Yeah, who's got the time? And. And I also just want, like, it's better to understand than to be understood. Like, the desire in which to be understood has always led me astray and it's always put me in a place where I just was like, but if I could just get your. If I could just take your eyes and put them in my skull, I promise you, you'd understand. But it's like, hey, look, babe, you get it or you don't.

C (25:06)

You get it or you don't. Folks, this. We're so deep. We can do everything. We can do everything. This is lovely. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Momentous. Folks, most supplements are a guessing game. You never really know what's in them or if they've even been tested for label accuracy. That's why I trust Momentous. Their creatine is NSF certified for label transparency and trusted by pro athletes and even the US Military. So I know I'm getting the best. And folks, it's trusted by me. I take Momentous creatine every single day. I love it. I love it. I love the way that it makes me feel. I love the way that it makes my brain feel. I really should start going to the gym because that's literally the number one benefit that lets you lift weights harder. But I'm telling you, the cognitive effects of creatine are real. They're real. I take 5 milligrams a day of this beautiful momentous creatine and I absolutely love it. It has changed my life. It's fantastic. I put it in my water in the morning with my greens powder and it is it. Creatine isn't just for muscle gains. It's essential fuel for your brain, body and long term performance. Momentous Creature Creatine is backed by leading performance experts like Dr. Andrew Huberman and Dr. Stacy Sims. Creature sets the gold standard for creatine, delivering the purest form creatine monohydrate that's rigorously washed and never cut with fillers. Every batch is independently tested for purity, safety and label accuracy and NSF certified for sport. That's why it's trusted by Olympic athletes, pro teams, and even the US Military. Their travel packs now in lemon flavor. I love making, staying consistent, totally effortless. They're naturally flavored with perfectly portioned and easy to mix with water at any time. With over 2,000 five star reviews, over 112,000 customers have seen the results firsthand. Folks, you got to try Momentous. And today they're offering our listeners 35% off your first subscription order with promo code good guys. That's live momentous L I V E M O M E N t o u s.com and use promo code good guys for up to 35% off your first subscription order. That's live momentous.com promo code good guys. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Function. Folks, I chose Function because it's the only health platform that gives me data most people never get and the insights to start doing something about it. Inside Function, you get access to test over 100 biomarkers, from hormones to toxins to markers of heart health, inflammation and stress. For an additional fee, you can also access MRI and CT scans, all tracked in one secure place. Over time, It's a near 360 degree view to better see what's happening in your body. That's why top health leaders like Dr. Mark Hyman, Dr. Andrew Huberman, and Dr. Jeremy London are all behind Function Health. Folks, there's nothing the voice in our head obsesses over like our health. But with over 100 lab tests and insights, Function can help answer all of the questions such as why am I so tired all the time? How can I get better sleep? Should I be taking supplements? How do I even know if my heart is healthy? Does my work stress affect it? Folks, we all give ourselves Munchausen by proxy. And the only thing that helps us not stress is getting to the root cause. Let's get tested. Let's go to Function. Let's see, are we high, are we low, or are we perfect? And once we're perfect, we don't need to stress anymore. That said, I was a little bit tired. I went into function and look, I'm deficient in vitamin D. So I supplement with vitamin D. It's so simple. You go in, you have a question, they answer it, and then you start supplementing. And all of a sudden, what? We're back to normal? Baby, it's absolutely fantastic. I love function. It was so easy. And to have everything in one secure place is an absolute dream because it's so hard to find those things. You know, once they send you an email, all of a sudden you can't find it. No, it's all there, right there in the function dashboard. So, folks, learn more and join using our link. Function is a near 360 degree view to see what's happening in your body. And the first thousand listeners of our podcast get a $100 credit towards your membership. Visit www.functionhealth.com good guys or use gift code good guys100@ sign up to own your health. That's function health.com good guys.

B (29:14)

Do you want me to come rate or not?

C (29:18)

You don't have to. If it's a lot, don't.

B (29:21)

I don't know what to do. I feel like they just have not made it easy for me. Why am I talking about this on the pod? No, I mean I would love to do it with you and the great Claude but you know, it's like a schlep that I have to pay for it in New York City.

C (29:33)

By the way, I feel the same way about it as I did about the other gig that you ended up coming in for that we won't talk about. And I think that that was worth it. But I definitely the same way that I said to you then I completely defer to you. It's whatever you're comfortable with. I don't think that. I think that this is a far more one sided street. We're going to bleep out the name of what you said. But this is a more one sided street where you are doing them a favor. I don't know that they're doing anything for you or for us. Right.

B (30:08)

Because I've done, I've done it in the past and they've been like, this is big. You're going to be in front of some huge people. Zilch bagel. Nothing has led to zero. Are we have to cut all this out? What can you do?

C (30:20)

I don't know. No, I don't think that we have to cut it out because we're going to bleep their name. No, we're gonna bleep their name. I don't think. I think it's fine. I've done stuff with them before and like there are like some interesting people in the room. I don't think that they're like, yeah, we probably gotta cut this out. We probably gotta cut this out. Yeah, yeah. No, I wouldn't, I wouldn't.

B (30:43)

It's just, I mean with these, I mean these three children, let me tell you, it's one thing I never did this because I hate when people complain about having kids and how hard it is. Cause I'm like, what, what? What did you think it would be? Yeah, what were you expecting?

C (31:03)

Yeah, yeah.

B (31:04)

And like it's hack, like don't fucking complain about your kids in life. It's. It's hack. Like, yeah, it's, it's really, really hard and it's really wonderful. Hopefully too three kids is hard. Like with number three I was like, oh. Like I had it dialed with two. But three souls, it's. And it's going to be wonderful. But just the first couple months I was like wowee.

C (31:25)

Yeah, I. I can't even imagine. So I would, I would, I would definitely only prioritize paid engagements. That's. That, that, that would be what I would do. I wouldn't go, if I were you, anywhere for free, really, ever again.

B (31:39)

Unless I'm gonna call you the Merchant of the Upper east side.

C (31:42)

Unless it was in Los Angeles. I wouldn't travel for free anywhere. So I love it. Yeah. Unless like maybe like maybe like these fakacta agents can get you a deal in the city with the thing and then all of a sudden it makes sense.

B (31:59)

Why can't they do that? I'm gonna be.

C (32:01)

Why can't anybody do that?

B (32:02)

Marriott.

C (32:06)

The fact that you are give me.

B (32:07)

A hotel in New York in October, please.

C (32:11)

The fact that you aren't the face of Courtyard is such a miss. Like why not? This man is continental breakfast. He is.

B (32:20)

I fuck up the continental breakfast. I eat that shit. I make my own waffle at the waffle station.

C (32:26)

Every time he makes it. Yeah. What do we cut? What are we cutting out? Do we just. We still in the cutout. Leaving it. Okay, we're leaving it in.

B (32:36)

We're not people pleasing anymore, Ben.

C (32:38)

We're not. We're not people pleasing. We're not people pleasing. That said, I will still be there and I. If we don't, if we don't bleep out the name, I'm going to have to deal with some questions.

B (32:54)

They know. I mean I'm not lying. I'm explaining the reasons right now. I have three kids. When I said yes, I did not have three kids. It's a freaking lot was good.

C (33:03)

It's a. It's a lot better for me. Yeah. No, by the way, maybe we'll Skype you in. I can't believe I use skype in my 2000.

B (33:13)

Yeah, perfect. I'll get on my two way pager.

C (33:18)

Skype you in.

B (33:20)

Should we go. Should we get to a speak pipe? Yeah, we absolutely can.

C (33:24)

Yeah. You wanna send it to me?

B (33:26)

Yeah, perfect. Oh crap. Yeah. Would you mind? Yeah, absolutely. Thanks. If you wanna leave us a message, get some advice, go to speakpipe.com goodguys keep it brief. Brevity's key. We don't love your Woody and Utzes. What else? Oh, you know what we haven't been doing? Leave us a review on our Apple podcast. Review or Spotify. Can you do that on Spotify? And we'll read a good review every week starting next week. Cause I can't use my phone. Cause the studio's broken.

C (33:50)

I love that.

B (33:52)

Maybe you read a good one. Ben, your phone. Oh, no. You're FaceTiming me.

C (33:58)

No, I have my phone. It's on my computer that I'm FaceTiming you. Let me read a good review. Let's start with today.

B (34:03)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

C (34:05)

No time like the present. This. What do we call this segment? This is called Positive Vibes.

B (34:11)

It's called Our Flowers.

C (34:14)

Our Flowers.

B (34:19)

Nothing two gay men love more than flowers.

C (34:22)

Literally. See? Okay, reviews. I just have to say we have a wonderful rating.

B (34:34)

It's not bad.

C (34:36)

4.7. That's pretty good.

B (34:38)

4.9 is people pleasing. 4.7 is. You're great, but you're edgy.

C (34:44)

4.7. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. This one. What are you, nuts? Changed my perspective. Five stars. I was in a car accident where the lady who hit me yelled at me and made me feel awful about myself for saying I was an idiot for stopping for a pedestrian. I listened to the good guys and thought, how would Ben and Josh react? It would be, what are you nuts? To the. It would be, what are you nuts to the lady for yelling at me after hitting me? And what are you nuts to me about allowing some crazy lady to make me feel bad about myself? It changed my perspective and felt better about a really unfortunate situation as a result. It feels silly to say, but these guys got me through a really stressful and negative time in my life. You know what? That's what we do. We give. We give good perspective. So, yeah, if you want to leave us an only positive five star review that's heartfelt.

B (35:40)

Yes.

C (35:40)

We'll read it aloud. That's it. Just put your heart into it. We'll read it. Okay.

B (35:45)

Good reviews only go overboard. Be gross. Make it. Give yourself the ick when you send it because we're going to love it.

C (35:55)

We're going to absolutely love it. We're going to love it. And yeah, here's another one. This one's short and sweet. Perfect. Amazing. 10 out of 10. No notes. That's good, too. We won't read them aloud, but that's nice.

B (36:08)

We're not reading any four stars, okay? So don't be cheeky. You know what I mean? Just dig. Be gross and no.

C (36:16)

Be. Be gross. Unless you're gonna write something like love it. Joshi and Benny, both hosts, are hilarious. My belly is jiggling from laughter. Yeah, she's fine.

B (36:25)

We'll read that lady from the Last Step who's not really pregnant.

C (36:31)

For sure. Oh my God, that's funny. This episode of the Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Trade Coffee. Folks, as the days cool down, my coffee shifts. Comforting warm mugs in the crisp mornings, refreshing iced coffee in the sunny afternoons. No matter the season, hot or cold, they recommend beans I'll love roast them to order and deliver them straight to my door. It's like having my favorite cafe on standby without ever leaving home. Trade coffee is it folks, if you like coffee, stop drinking that dreck, okay? Start drinking the good stuff. And the good stuff is Trade Coffee. Because trade is the number one coffee destination in the US for both hot and cold coffee drinkers. They've sourced the best beans number one beans from over 50 top roasters across the U.S. for cold brew lovers, they've teamed up with 15 roasters to create a special collection made just for cold brew. So every drop comes out smooth and delicious every time. How easy is that? They even have easy to use curated gear so you can brew at home with better flavor and value than any cafe or bottled cold brew. Trade's prices are on par with grocery store brands. The quality is next level through the roof, whether it's smooth cold brew or a cozy hot cup to start your day. Plus, you're supporting local roasters. Thank God with every cup, it's a win win. Take their quiz and in under a minute they'll recommend coffees you'll love. If that first bag isn't quite right, no problem. Trade will replace it for free until they nail it. That's customer service. So folks, right now Trade is offering 50% 50 off a one month trial@drinktrade.com goodguys that's drinktrade.com goodguys to get get 50% off one month drinktrade.com goodguys if.

A (38:17)

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B (38:47)

All right. Olivia, do you have a speak pipe?

A (38:49)

I do.

C (38:50)

Oh, wait. Did you send it to me?

D (38:52)

Yes. Turned 30, and my friend that I've known for a few years texted me that she wanted to take me on a spa day. I thought that was very nice. And then she texted me the itinerary, which is a very nice hotel in Miami. She's going to pay for both of us to get massages, and she's going to pay for both of us to get lunch and at the hotel, and then she's going to pay for a day pass for the hotel so we can kind of enjoy the hotel, which I thought is super nice, but I think in total, she'll probably spend $1,000, which is like a lot of money to spend on somebody's birthday. This is all great and nice, but her birthday is a few weeks after mine, so I offered to split the cost of the day so that I could pay for her part and she could pay for my part as her birthday gift. She did not want to do that. She said she wanted to treat me, which I think is great. But now my problem is, what the heck do I get her for her birthday? Do I get her a gift? Because that's not as great as an experience. Do I take her out to a dinner and just go balls to the walls and try and spend $1,000 at dinner? I don't even know if I could do that financially. Like, that's a lot of money. So I don't know. Do I have to match? Do I not have to match? Please help me. I need the good guys.

B (39:58)

Betty, what do you got?

C (40:00)

When somebody is over generous, which actually, this is the perfect speak pipe, because I was literally talking about how my entire life, I think I' overly generous to the people around me. When you're an overly. When you're an overly generous person, you are never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever expecting somebody to reciprocate in the way that you did. You are doing it. She is doing it because she. It makes her feel good, too. Like, don't get lost on it. Like, her treating you to spas and lunches and all this stuff. She feels great about herself. She feels great that she can do it. She feels great that she's making you happy. And it's. It's. It's something that she wants to do for you. I can't believe that you enter and said, let's split it 50 50, and that's your birthday gift. What are you nuts?

B (40:43)

That. Tell Me that so me.

C (40:46)

It's still sick, but, like, have some creativity, but you reciprocate in the way that you feel comfortable reciprocating as long as you do something. Like, if she's giving you this, you got to take her to dinner, or you got to take her to whatever it may be. But you do not need to spend $1,000. You do not need to go tit for tat. You just need to show her that you also care enough about her to carve out time and do something with her. So your friend's not expecting that. You don't need to go dollar for dollar, in my opinion, as long as you prioritize her for a certain period of time during the day, on her birthday, and make her feel special. That's all you need to do.

B (41:24)

Maybe. Maybe find a restaurant in your city with a tasting menu. Okay? An experience, tasting menu, nothing crazy. Maybe 175 a person. We're netting out to 350, plus tax and tip. We're talking 450. Maybe you order a drink, maybe 3, 600, and you're out. You're 400 in the green. You gave it some thought. It's a nice time. But to your point, Ben, I'll say. For our wedding, for Paige and my wedding, the wonderful John Stamos and our dear friends Glenn and Debbie. Let's just say Glenn and Debbie are doing all right.

C (42:02)

Okay. Doing all right.

B (42:05)

Glenn and Debbie said, come down to Las Ventanas. This. Now. This is over. This is no Courtyard Marriott. Okay? And you know how I love the Courtyard.

C (42:15)

Yeah, the Courtyard's better. We're trying to get ad dollars. Josh. Glenn and Debbie aren't giving a squat.

B (42:21)

The Courtyard, Cabo. But I mean, we went to Cabo with Glenn and Debbie.

C (42:31)

They.

B (42:31)

I mean, our room was taken care of. Dinner's gorgeous. The. The flight. I mean, it was. It was beyond in ways in which we could never reciprocate. They. They gave us a. They had a private fireworks show on the beach for our beyond. And so kind. And I think we've since become very close friends, but I think they were partly doing it for how much they love John and their long relationship. So it was. It was a wonderful time. And Debbie had mentioned that she liked this thing in the gift store, like a throw or something. Maybe it was in the room. And Paige was like, that's in the gift store. I said, how much is it? She's like, it's 600 bucks. I said, just get it. And I was like, great. Now a $600 thing is an amazing, lovely gift. Especially that when someone just sort of offhandedly goes, oh, that's so cute. But it was like, at least let us. And we paid for like a really nice big dinner over and it was like what we could do, but it was never going to equal what they spent, you know.

C (43:31)

But I think they appreciated it 100%. You did the absolute right thing. And that is the perfect example. You can't always reciprocate dollar for dollar. And honestly, if you reciprocate dollar for dollar, I'm going to take it a step further. It then diminishes what they just did and almost makes it feel like you're now in a competition. You're not in a competition for who's, for who's going to spend more money on each other. That shouldn't. That's not a friendship. She's doing this because she wants to treat you to a spa day. Ok. And it does come out to a large sum of money, but she's not necessarily doing it because of that. She had the idea of treating you to a massage. If you now go and write her a thousand dollar check, it'll make a. It'll diminish everything that she just did for you. So no, I don't like it.

B (44:15)

Classic. That would be funny. If they do the thousand dollar spa day and then her present to her is a cashier's check for a thousand dollars.

C (44:24)

Thousand dollars.

B (44:26)

A money order.

C (44:27)

Yeah. No good. No good.

B (44:30)

That's so funny. They meet up and she just hands her like a Western Union slip and be like, I wired $1,000 into your.

C (44:37)

Bank of America account. You're at the cargo. Yeah. That you don't have any access to. Good luck finding it. It's more of a hassle. There's nothing worse. Have you ever had it where somebody like PayPal's you but to an email that you don't use and then all of a sudden the money's in limbo, you don't have an account. There's nothing there. It's like, why didn't you ask me? Just ask me.

B (44:59)

It's crazy.

C (45:01)

It's crazy. It's crazy. Another speak. Another speak pipe.

B (45:05)

Another speak pipe. Let's do it. Have you been sent the speak pipe? Let's hear.

E (45:10)

Hi guys. I'm one of your non Jewish morons, but I started identifying as Jewish since listening. So you bring me so much joy and I need more episodes than just twice a week, guys. Okay, I'll try to keep this brief brevity is key. I hope this isn't too personal or tmi, but I need some male advice. My fiance and I have been together three years and we're in a sex funk. We've always had amazing, fun sex, but for the last almost year or so, he's just not with it. He claims he has performance anxiety, which doesn't make any sense because I've never once complained and I've tried to help him get out of his head numerous ways. It has become a huge issue at this point, and the let's call them sessions are becoming less and less. It's killing me as I'm extremely attracted to him. And I'm also starting to get in my head that it's a me issue, even though he claims it isn't. I mean, he'll literally have to stop a few minutes in and that's that. Have either of you guys dealt with this before? I would love your advice if you have any. Thank you. Love you both so much.

C (46:17)

Love you.

B (46:18)

Can't. Really.

C (46:19)

Sorry. Yeah, no, yeah. Definitely can't relate. That said, it sounds to me like you need to take a trip. The Galapagos with Ava and Bruce. And you need to.

B (46:36)

Go soft. Your soft opening that your parents are swingers.

C (46:40)

Is this your soft launch? They're not swingers. I wish they were. No. I think you need titties. Oh, my God. I think you. I think you need to spice things up. I wouldn't include a third person. I was totally joking. But I think that you need to go to dinner. Maybe you need to go on a vacation. Maybe you need to, like. I know that you just want to, like, routinely shtup, but maybe he needs some of that young love back. I don't know, like, go do something fun. Don't only think about the canoodling. And then maybe it will lead to the canoodling. Maybe it's too much pressure on him to canoodle. So, like, give him some time and then he'll come back around that said guy. Pull it together. Your wife loves you. Pull it together. I think it's a him problem. I've come all the way around. It's his problem, Josh.

B (47:37)

I mean, there's certainly small parts of my head and tell me, Olivia, if I'm crazy of, like, I worry that maybe there's something deeper going on, but I don't want. You never know that. It certainly could be a correlation there, but if it's lighter, kind of an easy fix. And I have never needed this. But a Dear friend of the show whose name I won't say, he said that he was microdosing a little Viagra and having fun, fun, fun. Yeah, I'm sorry, you said you don't care. You said this is the new. But we can cut. Cut out his name if we need to. But yeah. And he just, you know, and. And I've heard that from a couple other people where they were like, it kind of. Because for better or for worse, men have to show up, I think in a way that can feel a little bit more performance anxiety. Maybe. Perhaps I'm only speaking from the male perspective.

C (48:39)

I don't know anything.

B (48:41)

But, you know, I think that sometimes a little. A little pill can be helpful in that area. Maybe just to get over the rough patch to get out of his head.

C (48:49)

Yeah. I think that you also, you brought up the. The worst case scenario for her in too many words. But I think a middle case scenario might also be having him get his testosterone checked. Like, there could also be. Like there could. There could be a medical problem here that's not just performance anxiety. That said, also, when it could be general anxiety, like anxiety also would make you have these problems. Like, maybe he's very stressed. Does he have a. Did his job change? Like, is there. Are there external factors that would be contributing? I would rule all of that stuff out. Once you've ruled that stuff out, then it's his fault. But I would check that stuff first, see if he's not, like, medically imbalanced. I'll say.

B (49:40)

Can I float? The possibility is maybe he. Has he become unsure or insecure about his ability in which to please her? And maybe he's getting in his head about his performance.

C (49:53)

Totally. The only thing that makes me think that that's not true is that she said, I've never complained. That's it. Just because you've never verbally complained. Right. Doesn't mean he couldn't catch a cue where. Clearly, if you're dissatisfied enough to come on a podcast and air your grievances, I think that perhaps you've given a hint or two along the way that you're dissatisfied even if it wasn't verbally, even if it was in a dirty look or if it was in a pause or if it was in. He must be hearing your cues and reacting to them. So that's another possibility. Totally agree.

B (50:38)

Totally. And by the way, if you have a good dude, they're going as much off cues, in my opinion, as words. Right. They're not.

C (50:46)

Totally.

B (50:47)

Well, you didn't say Anything. It's like, no, you should be in tune with your. Your partner's, you know, physicality, their. Their feelings, their. Their breath, what they're saying, what they're not saying, and kind of open it up for them to hopefully feel like they can tell you what's going on.

C (51:04)

Correct. Open it up.

B (51:06)

Yeah. And I think. Yeah, it's all. It's a very interesting little. There was something else I was gonna say. Oh, I don't know, Ben, if you'll feel comfortable commenting, but I'll keep it.

C (51:17)

Very vague, but, like, then I probably won't.

B (51:21)

You would. But I also know your wife. There can be times, like, have you had to get to. I think this is what it's about in having a mature relationship is that, like, there are times where you will canoodle. Where, like, every now and then your wife will say, like, I'm just not gonna get there this time. Like, it just for whatever it is, like, something's going on. Good, bad, anything in between. It's just like, this was great, but I might not. And when I was younger, I used to take that as such an affront. Like, I used to be like, I didn't do my job, and now I just. God bless you. We'll try again tomorrow. I love you. Good night. Can I rub your feet?

C (52:00)

You know, yeah, totally. No, that's.

B (52:03)

That.

C (52:03)

That. Yeah, that's 100% a part of it. Of being a good husband, taking cues, not taking everything to heart. Not everything is such a big deal. And you go to sleep and it's a new day.

B (52:14)

Right.

C (52:14)

It's just. Yes, a hundred percent. One hundred percent Love it.

B (52:19)

One more. What are you nuts?

C (52:21)

Hey, Josh and Ben.

A (52:23)

Random question that I was just thinking about. Not really advice question, more just out of curiosity. What would you say is the character or personality trait that you admire and.

C (52:32)

Love most about one another? Just thought it could be a cute little talking point.

A (52:36)

Love you guys so much. Thanks for bringing so much joy and laughter into our weeks.

B (52:39)

Crying twice in one episode.

C (52:43)

Wow. This is. This is an unexpected. What I admire most about Josh. We should have saved this for Valentine's Day. Oh, I want to come up with a really good one, so just give me a second.

B (53:00)

I'm ready.

C (53:01)

You're ready immediately.

B (53:02)

You don't even have to think. Yeah, of course.

C (53:05)

Okay, you go.

B (53:05)

I'm in my feelings. I'm off Albutrin three months. I think sometimes you take it as a negative, but it truly is something that I aspire to give my kids and something That I venerate in you, Ben. That I lack sometimes, which is that you do have an incredibly optimistic outlook on the world. And you really, I think, look at things, glasses half full. And I like the way that you approach people, places and things. And I think that having that kind of less cynical outlook puts you in a position to win. And I love that you answer the emails that I don't want to answer. Love you.

C (53:48)

Thank you. I love you more. And what I will say to anybody that isn't an optimist. I wasn't always an optimist. And people always joke, like you always say, what, are you, nuts? And you look for the negative in things. I do that because it's fun. But in life, I really. I think it's a. It's much better to only see what could go right. Everything's going to go wrong, but if you focus on what's right. I like living my life like that. What you do, Josh. And I think that I noticed this about you for the first time when we had dinner at Parkside and then we went to Corona Ices, and unfortunately, that guy gave us free ices, so we had to tip him a 20 instead of just giving him $10 in ices. Totally. The way that you treat people that you don't know is really special. You specifically, when it comes to staff, when it comes to fans, when it comes to. You really make people feel special and you make them feel heard and you'll take a picture and you will be nice to them. And I think that is a quality that not everybody has. So I think you're very nice to strangers, which says a lot about you. So.

B (55:00)

Oh, all right. Now, Olivia. Olivia, I love your laugh.

C (55:07)

I can't hear her.

B (55:08)

Just say you love her laugh on top of all the other wonderful things about her.

C (55:12)

Olivia, I love your laugh and the fact that you're from Ohio and that you think that flying was invented there.

B (55:17)

That's what I. And the bicycle.

C (55:20)

Oh, that's what it was. And the bicycle. Yeah, yeah, sure it was.

B (55:27)

Should we get to our Woody Nuts?

C (55:29)

We should.

B (55:30)

Our Winnie Nuts moment of the week are gripes with people, places and things both big and small. Whatever's sticking in your crawls, start. There's a new car called the Infiniti QX80. It's a beautiful, gigantic SUV for the family. And the commercial the other day said the Infiniti QX80. Traveling private's better than commercial. What's commercial for? Driving the bus. Yeah. A car kicks a bus's ass. All cars are private, dog. Are we talking about Uber pool? This is a funny ad.

C (56:02)

What are you not also, are you implying that infinity is like flying private? Like, get a grip. Get a grip. Like you're not a Bentley. Like, like that's nuts and really funny.

B (56:18)

You're. You're a Nissan in Nordstrom's, you know? Yeah.

C (56:24)

Hey, you're a Nissan in Nordstrom. Oh, that's funny. My. What are you nuts? Is like a little Seinfeldy. What's the deal with brooms? I think brooms are a. What are you nuts? We've made the vacuum. The vacuum is sufficient. We no longer need to sweep into a pail, miss some spots, pick it up, throw it in the trash. We invented the. We invented the. The solution, Josh. The vacuum cleaner. We no longer need brooms. I think they're a. What do you. Nuts. That's it. And even for the little top, you're gonna say, I need the little hand brush or whatever. The small. I don't know, what do you call it? Broom. It's not a handbrush. You have the little Shark Ninja. You have that item, that small vacuum. We've invented it. We no longer need the broom. It's archaic. What's with the broom?

B (57:12)

Shout out Shark. Better than Dyson, in my opinion. Way better.

C (57:16)

Better. Shark. Shark makes wonderful stuff. As does Ninja. Shark. Ninja. This is a company.

B (57:22)

This is a sick company. Creamy. This is Ninja cream.

C (57:28)

Send me an electric grill because I need an electric grill. Yes, we'll talk about that on another episode. But I'm getting an electric grill. Josh, this episode has been five stars. Otherwise, what are you, nuts? As we mentioned. Leave us a review. A five star review. Write something nice and we'll read it. Write something long and we'll really read it, regardless. We'll read it, though. And we'll read it out loud if it's really something special. Listen to us. Wherever you get your podcasts. Watch us on YouTube. Watch us on YouTube in addition. Okay, throw it on in the background. It's no big deal. Share our clips Instagram and TikTok, folks. Mondays and Thursdays. We will see you next time. Next time.

A (58:17)

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.