The People V. Ozempic

Summary

Podcast Summary: Good Guys – "The People V. Ozempic"

Release Date: November 25, 2024
Hosts: Josh Peck and Ben Soffer

In the "Good Guys" podcast episode titled "The People V. Ozempic," hosts Josh Peck and Ben Soffer delve into a variety of engaging topics ranging from personal anecdotes and self-defense to medical cases and listener interactions. This comprehensive summary captures the essence of their discussions, highlighting key points, insightful remarks, and notable quotes with corresponding timestamps.

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1. Recent Events: The Jason Kelce Incident

The episode kicks off with Josh Peck and Ben Soffer discussing a recent viral incident involving Jason Kelce, a well-known football player. An altercation unfolded at Penn State, where an individual aggressively confronted Kelce, leading to a physical confrontation over Kelce's phone.

• Josh Peck ([00:15] – [01:29]):
  Peck reflects on the incident by drawing a parallel with MMA fighter Nate Diaz's experience with his brother's protection. He remarks,

  "I can respect that he felt the need to protect his brother." ([01:05])

• Ben Soffer ([02:03] – [03:20]):
  Soffer expresses empathy for Kelce's actions, acknowledging the need to protect loved ones in confrontational situations.

  "It was just a fucked up situation... I would have been like, hello." ([02:19])

2. Self-Defense and Martial Arts

Transitioning into the topic of self-defense, Peck and Soffer delve into their personal experiences with martial arts, emphasizing the importance of discipline and self-protection.

• Josh Peck ([03:01] – [07:19]):
  Peck advocates for martial arts training for his son, Max, highlighting its role in building discipline and self-defense skills.

  "I think he needs to be in some form of martial arts. It's good for the discipline... he's got to protect my name." ([06:35])

• Ben Soffer ([06:58] – [07:19]):
  Soffer echoes Peck's sentiments, noting the intelligence and discipline fostered by martial arts.

  "Martial arts sort of trains you to be regimented. I think that martial arts are smart." ([06:58])

3. Personal Stories: Martial Arts and Piano Lessons

The hosts share nostalgic memories of their youth, discussing their journeys in martial arts and piano lessons, complete with humorous anecdotes about their instructors.

• Josh Peck ([08:05] – [09:56]):
  Peck reminisces about his martial arts journey and piano lessons under a strict Russian teacher.

  "He worked with Putin at the KGB type Russian piano teacher." ([10:23])

• Ben Soffer ([09:28] – [10:42]):
  Soffer recalls his experiences with karate and humorous interactions with advertising personalities like "Dan Smith will teach you guitar."

  "Dan Smith will teach you guitar. That's what he'd do." ([09:56])

4. Medical Cases: Ozempic and a 60-Pound Tumor

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing compelling medical stories, particularly focusing on the misuse of Ozempic—a medication commonly prescribed for weight loss—and its associated dangers.

• Josh Peck ([25:02] – [28:37]):
  Peck narrates a story from the New York Post about a man who was misdiagnosed with obesity and prescribed Ozempic, only to later discover a 60-pound malignant tumor.

  "Doctors were convinced that a Norwegian man was simply fat for 12 years... leading to a 10-hour surgery for its removal." ([25:02])

• Ben Soffer ([26:38] – [28:37]):
  Soffer discusses the severity of the situation, emphasizing the importance of being one's own health advocate.

  "It's amazing how easy it is to misdiagnose if you're not on top of it." ([27:13])

5. Brazilian Butt Lift Complications

Continuing with medical discussions, Peck and Soffer highlight the dangers of cosmetic procedures through the harrowing account of a botched Brazilian butt lift that led to severe health complications.

• Josh Peck ([28:05] – [30:18]):
  Peck shares a story about a woman whose Brazilian butt lift went wrong, resulting in necrosis.

  "A UK gym bunny's vain quest for a dream derriere nearly killed her... leaving a woman rotting from the inside out." ([28:07])

• Ben Soffer ([29:17] – [30:35]):
  Soffer comments on the bleak outlook of such procedures, questioning the necessity of altering one's body to such extents.

  "It's almost as if the butt wasn't meant to be that high... unacceptable." ([30:22])

6. Wildlife Anecdotes: Raccoons and Rodents

The conversation shifts to lighter yet relatable topics as the hosts recount encounters with wildlife, particularly raccoons and rodents, both in public spaces and their homes.

• Josh Peck ([30:36] – [32:03]):
  Peck discusses a video of a raccoon at LaGuardia Airport and relates it to his personal experiences with nocturnal animals on his roof.

  "Raccoons are cute. They look like little thieves." ([31:09])

• Ben Soffer ([31:11] – [34:25]):
  Soffer humorously debates the practicality of deterrents like spikes on roofs and shares stories about his mother-in-law's fear of mice.

  "You need those spikes on your roof." ([32:44])

7. Audience Questions: Dental Goodie Bags

Listeners' questions are addressed, starting with Bailey's inquiry about the absence of goodie bags post-dental cleanings, questioning whether her expectations are unreasonable.

• Bailey's Question ([38:19] – [39:17]):
  Bailey asks if she's unreasonable for expecting a goodie bag from her dentist, a habit established during her childhood.

• Hosts' Responses ([39:18] – [45:10]):
  Both hosts humorously debate Bailey's perspective, ultimately advising her that requesting a goodie bag isn't unreasonable but also highlighting their own practices with dental hygiene tools.

  Ben: "You're nuts because you're still thinking about the dental goodie bag." ([39:23])
  Josh: "I'm a Sonicare user... I change every three months." ([42:10])

8. Surrogacy Question

Lily's message introduces a heartfelt discussion on surrogacy, prompting the hosts to share their views and personal connections to the topic.

• Lily's Question ([46:36] – [47:19]):
  Lily seeks advice on whether she should continue her long-distance relationship or move back to her previous location due to loneliness and job dissatisfaction.

• Josh Peck and Ben Soffer's Responses ([47:20] – [56:49]):
  The hosts provide candid advice, emphasizing the importance of living together after a prolonged relationship and sharing personal anecdotes. Additionally, they engage humorously with Anthony Xavier, who shares his mother's experience as a surrogate, further enriching the conversation.

  Ben: "This is a red flag to me... he should be including you." ([48:06])
  Anthony Xavier: "My mom was a surrogate for my aunt." ([55:01])

9. What Are You Nuts For: Restaurant Pickup and Food Quality

In their signature segment, "What Are You Nuts For," Peck and Soffer express their frustrations with the declining quality of restaurant pickups and the increasing rudeness toward customers.

• Josh Peck ([57:10] – [60:51]):
  Peck laments how customers picking up orders are often mistreated, mistaking them for delivery drivers and expecting special treatment.

  "People have become really shitty at restaurants... What are you nuts?" ([57:05])

• Ben Soffer ([58:25] – [60:51]):
  Soffer agrees, advocating for kindness towards pickup customers and criticizing the deteriorating standards of takeout food.

  "Be nice to the fucking Doordash drivers... make delivery food good again." ([58:25])

10. Closing Remarks

The episode concludes with the hosts reaffirming their identity as the "Good Guys," encouraging listeners to rate the podcast highly, and reminding them of the show's release schedule.

• Josh Peck and Ben Soffer ([60:51] – [61:23]):

  Josh: "We're nuts." ([57:02])
  Ben: "We are nuts." ([57:05])

---

Notable Quotes

• Josh Peck ([01:29]):
  "I can respect that he felt the need to protect his brother."

• Ben Soffer ([02:19]):
  "Avoid confrontation at all costs."

• Josh Peck ([06:35]):
  "I think it's really important to, like, be included in each other's communities and, you know, feel supported."

• Ben Soffer ([07:19]):
  "Martial arts sort of trains you to be regimented."

• Josh Peck ([25:02]):
  "Doctors were convinced that a Norwegian man was simply fat for 12 years... leading to a 10-hour surgery for its removal."

• Ben Soffer ([30:22]):
  "It's almost as if the butt wasn't meant to be that high... unacceptable."

• Josh Peck ([31:09]):
  "Raccoons are cute. They look like little thieves."

• Josh Peck ([57:02]):
  "We're nuts."

---

Conclusion

In "The People V. Ozempic," Josh Peck and Ben Soffer navigate a mosaic of topics with humor, candor, and insightful commentary. From personal anecdotes and self-defense discussions to critical examinations of medical practices and societal behaviors, the hosts provide a multifaceted exploration of contemporary issues. Their ability to intertwine serious topics with lighthearted banter ensures that listeners are both entertained and informed, making this episode a compelling addition to the "Good Guys" podcast series.

Transcript

[Josh Peck]

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. I'm Josh Peck.

[Ben Soffer]

And I'm Ben Soffer. And we're the Good Guys.

[Josh Peck]

There's a lot of guys out there.

[Ben Soffer]

And we're the good ones.

[Josh Peck]

Masamorans, welcome back to the Good Guys podcast. I'm sitting here with the lost Jewish Kelsey brother. It's Ben Soffer.

[Ben Soffer]

Oh, man. Did you see what happened to them last week? That was nuts.

[Josh Peck]

With the phone. Jason with the phone at Penn State. Oh, I saw it.

[Ben Soffer]

That was nuts. That was crazy. I'm just saying, the guy that antagonized him. That was not nice. That was not nice.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah, you know, there's this great clip. There are these two MMA fighters named Nick Diaz and Nate Diaz, some of the greatest fighters in UFC history. And Nate Diaz was asked once, did you get bullied in high school? Or did you ever have issues in high school with fights and stuff? And he looked at him and said, no, man, I had an older brother. And, like, your heart swells because just this idea that there was, like, an older brother looking out for him. And that's how I felt watching Jason Kelce do it. I mean, understandably so. People who are paid like that, who are famous like that must be held to a higher standard. Undoubtedly. But, like, every now and then, you fuck around and you find out. And you know what? I can respect that he felt the need to protect his brother.

[Ben Soffer]

Protect his brother. Nobody likes the language used.

[Josh Peck]

No one likes the language.

[Ben Soffer]

That said, it was just a fucked up situation. Somebody's running down the street, holding a phone in your face, yelling about your brother and his incredibly famous girlfriend. I thought it was the only reasonable response. And there was nothing cooler than the snatched phone and the slammed phone. Like, I don't know what I would have done. I like, you would have gotten on your phone. Yeah, I was about to say I would have beat him up. No, I would have been like, hello.

[Josh Peck]

What do you think about the fact that Josh is a loser for dating his wife? Ben's like, sorry.

[Ben Soffer]

Sorry, one second. Hello? Yeah, of course. Yeah, I'll be right there. Okay, yeah, yeah, okay.

[Josh Peck]

You're saying my dry cleaning's ready or not ready? No, I can't put you on speaker. I'm in a public zone.

[Ben Soffer]

Avoid confrontation at all costs. What would you have done? You would have beat him up?

[Josh Peck]

Man, I mean, Jason Kelsey is £280 pure man. Man, like, I don't know. I speak at a lot of colleges. These kids are big.

[Ben Soffer]

So you're £180 a pure man.

[Josh Peck]

No, he's 280.

[Ben Soffer]

I'm saying you're £180, a pure man.

[Josh Peck]

I appreciate it. I mean, I.

[Ben Soffer]

Are you 180? Was that a good guess?

[Josh Peck]

Yeah, probably 190, if I'm being honest.

[Ben Soffer]

But you're 190 pounds, a pure man.

[Josh Peck]

But if I had to pop off and, like, I think I would feel comfortable fighting someone. If they put hands on you. If they put hands on someone I loved or cared about. And other than that, I can't see a scenario in which. And I think if I'm that guy and I grab the phone and smash it, that guy's coming for me.

[Ben Soffer]

Like, I'm on the street, minding my own business, and somebody comes up to me and gives me a huge titty twister.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah.

[Ben Soffer]

What are you doing?

[Josh Peck]

If he put his hand. If someone put their hands on you. I mean, I would assess it really quick, like if I thought they were absolutely fucking crazy. But I don't know, I just might go like, are you out of your fucking mind? What the fuck are you doing?

[Ben Soffer]

Like, I think Titty Twister was too funny. Somebody comes up to me and they punch me in the face.

[Josh Peck]

Oh, I would. I. It would be bad.

[Ben Soffer]

We're brawling. What's funnier than a titty twister?

[Josh Peck]

I mean, I was always so nervous about them because of my male breasts. And so, like, I always was like, I don't want. I don't. I was like, that feels like sexual harassment.

[Ben Soffer]

No, they hurt. They're painful. Yes, they're painful. I don't think that we use the term anymore. The Indian burn, that was another one.

[Josh Peck]

Oh, listen. All of these things have gone the way of the dodo. And so they should, these.

[Ben Soffer]

Old school pranks.

[Josh Peck]

Unacceptable.

[Ben Soffer]

Who. Who. Who twists somebody's skin in two different directions for sport?

[Josh Peck]

Insane villains. What about knuckles? You ever play fucking knuckles?

[Ben Soffer]

Terrible.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah. Even this game.

[Ben Soffer]

Oh, that. That one's bad. Yeah, the slap. That Slap. Isn't that what that game's called? Slap?

[Josh Peck]

Yes.

[Ben Soffer]

Where you have your palms and then the other person has their hands on top of your palms and you slap them.

[Josh Peck]

I think that is because as a child you have so few responsibilities that you need pain to remind you that you're alive. Whereas as an adult, you have just crushing credit card debt and super high blood pressure. And that reminds you you're alive.

[Ben Soffer]

You have the constant reminders. Thank God. I haven't been punched in the nuts in quite some time. But I feel like at one point in Time. That would happen once every six months.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah.

[Ben Soffer]

You get smacked right in the nuts out of nowhere. And I'm sorry, ladies. I know childbirth is tough. Being punched in the nuts. Oof. That is. That is an unexplainable pain. Being really socked in the nuts.

[Josh Peck]

I'm just glad. I'm so relieved to not be a kid. I love it.

[Ben Soffer]

Me too. No, being an adult is fantastic. How do we protect Max against those things? Do we teach Max how to do those things? Because the person doing those things typically doesn't have those things done to him. But we don't want Max to be a bully either. But how do we protect him?

[Josh Peck]

Well, I think with modernity, we've lost this compulsion to learn how to protect ourselves. And I think. And also because people are like, I can protect myself. I have a concealed carry license. It's like, isn't there somewhere in between where it's like, two people. If it comes to blows, it happens, and God willing, both people walk away. And it just. It was unfortunate that it needed to happen, but these things do happen. Like, that's why I want Max to be in some form of martial arts. I think it's good for the discipline. I think it's good for the roundhouse kicks, and I think it's good if a kid comes to him in sixth grade and is like, your dad isn't talented, and he's like, I'll show you. He's got to protect my name.

[Ben Soffer]

He's got to protect your name 1000%. And I liked the discipline piece. I think is real. Speaking for myself, I don't know anybody that's in martial arts. That's dumb. I think that martial arts sort of trains you to be regimented. I also, by the way, don't know many people in martial arts, but, like, the couple people I know, very smart. Very smart.

[Josh Peck]

I agree. I don't see a lot of negatives. And almost everyone I know, the 99% of people I know that actually train fighting in some respect, be it jiu jitsu or boxing or Muay Thai or any kind of, like, you know, Taekwondo, they're not violent people. Like, they're some of the most relaxed around violence.

[Ben Soffer]

How badly? How badly, when you were a large child, did you want to be a black belt in karate? Because all I wanted. It's funny, all I wanted was to be like a. Like a serious Jackie Chan. Like, I would watch Rush Hour, and I'd be like, that's what I want to. That's what I want to Be. And then I'd look down and I'd be like, oh, I'm 280 pounds and 13. Like, I can't do that. But that's all I wanted. That and to do the tricks in the skate park. Those are the two things I wanted.

[Josh Peck]

Oh, that was sick. I knew I couldn't have done. I broke five limbs by the time I was 12. I was never going to be on a vert ramp. Okay?

[Ben Soffer]

All I wanted was the vert ramp. All I wanted. That stuff was sick. It was sick. Oh, I'm so jealous of people that, like, could do that.

[Josh Peck]

If me and a vertical sports me on a vert ramp at that size would have looked like the inside of a pinball machine, like, it just would have been.

[Ben Soffer]

Better. But if you could have done it, it would have been sick.

[Josh Peck]

It would have been sick. But I did do martial arts till I was 16. So I was.

[Ben Soffer]

What age did you start martial arts?

[Josh Peck]

I started when I was young. And then the problem was I did different modals, different modalities. So I started out in, like, karate. I wanted to do. So tell the people about Ken Schulman in New York. Ken Schulman, Taekwondo, Obviously a Jew.

[Ben Soffer]

Tiger Schulman's was. I just put that together. Shulman.

[Josh Peck]

Of course.

[Ben Soffer]

Oh, my God, that's hilarious. But tigers, lion watchers, taekwondo, Tiger Shulman, was it? Yes. Like, it was the coolest. Like, if you went to Tiger Shulman's, they would. It was during the golden age of advertising. You're watching a fun show, they show all these kids and Tiger Shulmans, and then they convince you to buy some balloon set for 9.99 with no shipping and handling. It was the golden age. And you'd go into. I never went to Tiger Shulmans. Always wanted to. And if I did karate, it would have been Tiger, but he's a local celebrity. Like, that guy that would teach you guitar. What was his name?

[Josh Peck]

I don't remember.

[Ben Soffer]

Oh, my God. It was Dan Something will teach you guitar. I have to look this up.

[Josh Peck]

Well, I did sado karate in New York because I went to the YMCA every day after school for after school program. And what?

[Ben Soffer]

Dan Smith will teach you guitar. You don't remember this guy?

[Josh Peck]

No.

[Ben Soffer]

Oh, he would put his pictures everywhere. He was, like, on every telephone pole in the city.

[Josh Peck]

Ah, Dan Smith will teach you guitar.

[Ben Soffer]

Dan Smith will teach you guitar.

[Josh Peck]

Was that advertising on polls in the city?

[Ben Soffer]

Yeah, it was great.

[Josh Peck]

And you cut up 10 different little things at the bottom and you'd rip a Phone number.

[Ben Soffer]

We were so clever, so innocent, so clever, so clever, so innocent. It was great. That's what he'd do. Dan Smith. And he'd write his number and he'd pull a number.

[Josh Peck]

Exactly, totally.

[Ben Soffer]

Did you ever take piano? You were obviously musical. Did you ever take. Did you take piano?

[Josh Peck]

Oh, yeah.

[Ben Soffer]

Do you remember. Did you like your piano teacher?

[Josh Peck]

Well, I. Yeah, I had a badass Russian, like, no holds barred, like, worked with Putin at the KGB type Russian piano teacher. And he would bring delicious little Russian candies. And he was a really good teacher, but we never had small talk.

[Ben Soffer]

No. I also had a works with Putin, but she was awful. She is the reason why I don't still play piano, because she would. I had too relaxed of a hand. She wanted me like this. And my wrist, hand placement's important, but my wrists just didn't bend the way that she wanted my wrists to bend. I don't know if she actually slapped my wrists when they didn't get there, but I recall potentially a ruler hitting the top of my wrist. And I'm sure I went home to my mom and I said, that woman hit me and she pulled me. But I. Yeah, you know, teachers are everything. I loved playing the piano, though. Loved it.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah, man, it's. I remember my Russian piano teacher used to take my hand and he would, like, hit my. He would hit my leg with it, right, to, like, loosen up my wrist. And he'd be like, you know, and he'd be like, bum, bum, bum. And then the one thing I didn't like about him was his breath always smelled like he had just had a sandwich, like, recently.

[Ben Soffer]

And like, he probably did. What time did you go see him? 1:30. Your fault.

[Josh Peck]

I don't know, man. It was something with rye bread and just a fragrant cold cut. This was not your top tier cold cuts. This was off label. Yeah, man. Piano and karate was like my big thing. And I just remember, like, I remember at one point, at 18 years old, I got really into Kung fu and I was taking kung fu. Of course you did. Yeah, man. You know, I forget what a weird person I am, but, yeah, I became Orange Sash in Kung fu. I don't mean to brag. I learned the full monkey.

[Ben Soffer]

It's pretty sick. Good for you.

[Josh Peck]

The problem is, have you ever seen the videos of, like, I'm talking, like, second, third, fourth degree, like, black belts and whatever the modality is, right? Like taekwondo, karate, Kung fu, Try to fight MMA fighters?

[Ben Soffer]

No, I've never seen it.

[Josh Peck]

It's over.

[Ben Soffer]

They get Fucked up.

[Josh Peck]

They get fucking crushed quick.

[Ben Soffer]

Yeah.

[Josh Peck]

Because there's like, there's one. Unless it's like, some. And then, you know, I'll stop talking about it. But I love this stuff. But there's just, like, one thing to do if you, like, truly want self defense. It's like that or Krav Maga. It's either, like, figure out a way to snatch out their eyes whilst kicking them in the nuts, or you're going to have to learn, like, stand up game fighting like you're in the octagon, and also how to wrestle and Jiu jitsu to actually be able to protect yourself.

[Ben Soffer]

Could you put your hand through a wooden board?

[Josh Peck]

Yeah, because those. Let's look this up. Let's debunk. Let's do some.

[Ben Soffer]

Are they breakaway boards? Is that what you're going to say?

[Josh Peck]

I think so. But what are the boards made of?

[Ben Soffer]

In, like, there's no way that somebody's actually putting their hand through real mahogany.

[Josh Peck]

No, no.

[Ben Soffer]

No way. It would hurt too much.

[Josh Peck]

It says board breaking is really, really easy. The key is the boards designed for breaking are cut. They're cut in their weakest orientation. Wood is incredibly strong going with the fibers. Even a pine board is very hard to break long ways using a sledgehammer. However, if it's cut on its short axis, it's incredibly easy to break. Wow.

[Ben Soffer]

It's just like slicing a nice steak, Josh.

[Josh Peck]

Mmm.

[Ben Soffer]

It's just like slicing a nice steak. Always against the grain. Unbelievable.

[Josh Peck]

Speak on that.

[Ben Soffer]

Look at that.

[Josh Peck]

Speak on.

[Ben Soffer]

Look at that. That's it. Just. It's softer when it's against. It's harder when it's with. That's it. The same goes for board breaking. So if somebody ever comes up to you and says, I'm gonna fucking kill you unless you break this board, always make sure to identify the grain and break against the grain.

[Josh Peck]

Yes.

[Ben Soffer]

And that's why you should share this podcast with a friend. It could save somebody's life.

[Sponsor]

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[Ben Soffer]

We live in a digital age.

[Sponsor]

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[Brittany Xavier]

Hey there. I'm Brittany Xavier.

[Ben Soffer]

And I'm Anthony Xavier.

[Brittany Xavier]

And this is the Long game. I'm Brittany, a mom of three and content creator, passionate about wellness and living life to the fullest. And this is my husband, Anthony, who's been my partner in life and everything we do.

[Ben Soffer]

If you're looking for inspiration to live intentionally, nurture meaningful relationships and embrace a lifestyle that promotes well being, you've come to the right place.

[Brittany Xavier]

Each week we'll bring you conversations with experts in health, wellness and personal development. We'll also be sharing our own stories, like how we navigate the ups and downs of family life and our journey towards a more mindful, fulfilling lifestyle.

[Ben Soffer]

Expect some fun laughter and honest moments from us along the way.

[Brittany Xavier]

New episodes will be released every Thursday and you can find us wherever you listen to podcasts.

[Josh Peck]

I wanted to ask your opinion on something during the pandemic. My great friend Storm. That's right, my boy Storm, brilliant photographer. Incredible Storm.

[Ben Soffer]

Last name Storm or first name Storm?

[Josh Peck]

First name Storm Santos.

[Ben Soffer]

That's sick.

[Josh Peck]

He's the greatest there is. I love him. Brilliant. I mean, he, like, photographs a lot of famous people. I remember early on in the pandemic when all the video game systems were gone because everyone knew that they were gonna have to, like, hunker down and there were just no video game systems to be had. And so I, like, put up some, like, Instagram story about it. And my boy Storm wrote me and he's like, yo, there's actually two Nintendo switches at my local Target. Like, I'm at Target right now. Do you want me to pick one up for you? And I was like, beautiful, great. Grab one. I didn't know. I didn't know if at the end of the world, if all I had to do was work on a Nintendo Switch and have a little bit of joy. So I tell him yes, I send him 200 bucks on Venmo. And I never, ever follow up. And it's like three years later. So I'm like, I guess it's gone. But then I realized that I have a son who would love it, right? And I'm like, I don't know. I'm like, let me, let me bother Storm about this. I'm like, maybe this has it. So I text him and I'm like.

[Ben Soffer]

Three years later, you said, hey, are you still on your way from Target?

[Josh Peck]

Oh fuck, you bought it. I'm like, is this just like in your closet? Because I'll take it. My kid would like it.

[Ben Soffer]

What do you say?

[Josh Peck]

And he goes, yeah, I have it. Come pick it up. I was like, great. So I come pick it up because he's the greatest. And we're chatting and he hands it to me and it's great. And I look at it. It's blue. And I'm like, yellow. I go, I think the one I bought was. Yeah, like the one. The photo he sent me was a yellow one. But I don't say anything. So I'm like, who cares? Like, my son's colorblind. He won't know. No, he's not. God forbid. And then like, right as we're about to go, Storm just kind of offhandedly goes, yeah, man, that, that Nintendo Switch was long gone, but I felt bad, so I just bought that one.

[Ben Soffer]

Obviously.

[Josh Peck]

Am I fucked up? Did I do the right thing?

[Ben Soffer]

No, no, no, no, no. You didn't do the wrong thing. There were wrong things done across the board. Same way he offered to purchase a Nintendo Switch for you. You venmoed him. Same day, same day. It is then his responsibility as the procurer of the Nintendo Switch to tell you a rendezvous point for the handoff of the switch. He's received the funds, you receive your Switch. Now, he should have followed up you though, should have followed up you Venmo for a Nintendo Switch. And then you don't follow up with the Switch. And then three years later, in the middle of the night, you're like, eh, I wonder if Storm has my switch. Like, of course Storm doesn't have your switch. Storm re gifted your Switch, I tell you. Or used it. But what I will say, the person who really comes ahead in this. Mr. Storm. Yes, Mr. Storm did the right thing here. This is right. I wonder, Josh, Cost of inflation over three years. Mr. Storm didn't pay $200 for that new switch. He probably paid 260.

[Josh Peck]

No, they can't do that.

[Ben Soffer]

What?

[Josh Peck]

It's not a new switch. They didn't reconfigure it. It's not like buying 2024 costs.

[Ben Soffer]

So you're saying it's cheaper?

[Josh Peck]

I'm saying it was the same price inflation, Josh.

[Ben Soffer]

These costs go up, up, up, up, up.

[Josh Peck]

You keep it up. Not on.

[Ben Soffer]

No, of course they do. I'm just Saying ask Storm for the receipt. I bet you he overpaid. So really, you owe storm like 30 bucks.

[Josh Peck]

I don't know. But yeah, Storm, I'm fine.

[Ben Soffer]

Leave it alone.

[Josh Peck]

Storm is the greatest. And yeah, I just. I realize in hindsight that I'm nuts.

[Ben Soffer]

Nuts. It's great, though. Tell me. I love it. I love it. No, a more normal thing. Just so we know for next time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, a more normal thing. Hey, Storm, by the way, you mind venmoing me back that 200 bucks?

[Josh Peck]

Oh, that is, ugh, gauche. Garish.

[Ben Soffer]

No, but you sent 200 bucks.

[Josh Peck]

Send me back 200 bucks. And now you're stuck with an extra switch that you have to go return.

[Ben Soffer]

You assume that he. If he never gave it to you, you assume that he never bought the switch.

[Josh Peck]

No, he bought it. He bought. He was.

[Ben Soffer]

But then why wouldn't he want to give it to you? Now I'm back to it. Storm's vault.

[Josh Peck]

Listen, you know how people are. You know that people are like. If you left your sunglasses at my house, I am not making it my.

[Ben Soffer]

Job to get you these sunglasses 1000%. But if you tell me to buy something for you and I paid for it with money that you sent me, I am mailing it to your house immediately. I don't want it. It's not my property.

[Josh Peck]

You can't mail a switch.

[Ben Soffer]

It's the only way you do it. By the way, why didn't you buy it on Amazon?

[Josh Peck]

That's gonna be an extra 20, $25. Why didn't you make.

[Ben Soffer]

Why didn't you buy it on Amazon?

[Josh Peck]

It was a pandemic, Ben.

[Ben Soffer]

Once in a lifetime. Got it.

[Josh Peck]

Everyone had to call her up.

[Ben Soffer]

So to clarify, you needed the switch so badly that after you venmoed him $200, you forgot about it for 3 years? I just felt good that I had won. I.

[Josh Peck]

It's just nice to know I could.

[Ben Soffer]

You got it. You won.

[Josh Peck]

It was a pandemic. And then I went to Vancouver for a year to do Turner and Hooch. I forgot about the switch. I understand he offered, but anyway, I got my switch, and he probably paid an extra $30 in inflationary costs, and for that I feel terrible.

[Ben Soffer]

What was your game of choice? Were you a video game kid growing up?

[Josh Peck]

Yeah. No. I played the things. I had a PS3 and A. I played Grand Theft Auto and those things, but I was never like. I was very weird. I think I was very alcoholic about the way I played games as a kid, which was. I always Wanted that booklet that told you how to get ahead in the game.

[Ben Soffer]

Cheating.

[Sponsor]

Yeah, cheating.

[Josh Peck]

I like to cheat. I like cheat codes. I never wanted to like struggle in the game. I wanted to fly through the thing.

[Ben Soffer]

No, but cheat codes are fun. Like, that's why, like, I loved. I was also a PlayStation guy. I loved the NBA games. Those are my favorites. But thinking back on it, the most fun was an NFL Blitz or NBA Jam where they're literally dunking from half court. That's so much more fun than realistically playing with a guy.

[Josh Peck]

Oh yeah, I had friends who played FIFA and Madden. I'm like, this is trigonometry. Miss me on this. I don't even know how to play.

[Ben Soffer]

No, in no comparison to the old school games. Like an NFL Blitz. Loved those.

[Josh Peck]

Well, there are some stories that I think would be worth us reporting on. Like in the New York Post, a man dismissed as fat and given Ozempic before doctors find 60 pound tumor in his belly. Doctors were convinced that a Norwegian man was Simply fat for 12 years. But his growing belly was actually expanding with a 60 pound malignant tumor. He was diagnosed with obesity and even got prescribed OIC before they discovered the growth, leading to a 10 hour surgery for its removal. Thomas Kraut, 59, had the operation in Oslo after his stomach kept getting bigger and the doctors initially convinced him that he was simply overweight. Wow.

[Ben Soffer]

Can we rename Malignant? There's no way that. I'm just saying Malignant sounds far too dark for being not dark.

[Josh Peck]

Malignant is dark.

[Ben Soffer]

Can we rename Benign?

[Josh Peck]

I was like, what?

[Ben Soffer]

Benign sounds way too normal for being benign.

[Josh Peck]

Fuck.

[Ben Soffer]

All right, well then I'm really sorry that he had cancer. That's not good.

[Josh Peck]

Benign sounds like the first part of a new shul in town. You know, a new synagogue. Like, have you been to Benign? Cedar Sinai? It's weird. Wonderful.

[Ben Soffer]

Malignant. I knew I got that wrong as I was saying it. All right, so the guy's really fat, turns out to be a cancerous tumor. 10 hour surgery. Is there any report. Is he alive?

[Josh Peck]

Yeah, no, he's good. I mean, and the upside is he's got an ozepic prescription which is not easy to get.

[Ben Soffer]

No, not easy to get a 60 pound tumor. That is insanity.

[Josh Peck]

That's hectic.

[Ben Soffer]

Oof. Oof. Sorry, bud. Yeah, Sorry, friend. I hope you're feeling better.

[Josh Peck]

It's amazing how easy it is for if you're not on top of it and you get. You happen to see the wrong doctor or the wrong couple doctors like you really have to. Unless you're with people who are super specific and brilliant at what they do, you have to be your own advocate. And if you're just like, I guess. I mean, I'm not gaining weight anywhere else, but maybe they're right. Like, at what point did they not go, like, this guy's got a pretty gaunt face?

[Ben Soffer]

I'm trying really hard not to victim. I'm really trying really hard not to victim. Blame the guy with a malignant 60 pound tumor. But the more that I think. No, I'm saying the more that I think about it. How don't you know? You're right. He's chiseled to the gods. His legs are perfect. He's ripped. He just has a huge belly. Like, let's see. Tumor. Unless he was pregnant, but.

[Josh Peck]

Well, did you know that a gym junkie's vain quest for big booty backfires with a Brazilian butt lift, leaving a woman rotting from the inside out? She hit rot bottom. New York Post. Get it together.

[Ben Soffer]

Great.

[Josh Peck]

A UK gym bunny's vain quest for a dream derriere nearly killed her after her bottom began rotting from the inside out following a botched liquid Brazilian butt lift. The decision to have butt filler completely and utterly ruined my Life. Charlotte Booth, 36, told the newspaper, which. It occurred in May 2023. I was hope. Oh, I just saw a picture of it.

[Ben Soffer]

Wow.

[Josh Peck]

Wow, wow.

[Ben Soffer]

How bad? How bad? Send it.

[Josh Peck]

Okay, I got you. It's not. But it. It's on its way to bad. That's the problem. It's stopping off at the rest stop before bad to say. Let me get my energy together.

[Ben Soffer]

Send it. Send it. Need it.

[Josh Peck]

I'm sending it to you too, Olivia. Can you handle it?

[Anthony Xavier]

Oh, yeah.

[Ben Soffer]

Oh, my.

[Josh Peck]

Oh, mama. It's a lot. Oh.

[Ben Soffer]

For those that can't see it, it looks like mold. Like she. Yeah, she's dying on the inside. Oh, my.

[Anthony Xavier]

Necrosis.

[Josh Peck]

That's a nice name, though, right? This is my son, Necrosis. That's not horrible. You know what I'm saying?

[Ben Soffer]

I'm just saying that thing looks malignant.

[Josh Peck]

Not good. Not good. But this Brazilian butt lift, like, all you hear are bad things.

[Ben Soffer]

It's almost as if we shouldn't be doing them. Josh.

[Josh Peck]

Yes.

[Ben Soffer]

It's almost as if the butt wasn't meant to be that high. It's almost as if it wasn't meant to be a shelf. Sorry. It is what it is.

[Josh Peck]

All right, listen. We ask the hard questions here, and we gotta be okay with it.

[Ben Soffer]

Yes. Oof.

[Josh Peck]

That picture was Chilling raccoon descends from ceiling at New York's LaGuardia Airport. A traveler A traveler at New York's LaGuardia Airport captured video when a raccoon descended from the ceiling and caused chaos at a terminal. The video posted to X by user Ahmed Anonymous. What? That's awesome. Shows the raccoon dangling from a cord suspended from the ceiling in the Marine Air terminal. Wow.

[Ben Soffer]

No good raccoons to say.

[Josh Peck]

That's all I have to say. Raccoons are cute.

[Ben Soffer]

Raccoons are cute. They look like little thieves. They're definitely cute. I'm with you little bandits with the eyes.

[Josh Peck]

They're fun.

[Ben Soffer]

LaGuardia, they just spent literally $200 trillion and 15 years on LaGuardia and they already have raccoons coming from the ceilings. Like, this is a problem. Ok. Yeah, this is a problem.

[Josh Peck]

Yes. And what happens is like in our house at night, sometimes my wife and I will wake up because we'll be hearing sounds on our roof. And I'll be like, what the fuck is that? And she'll be like, there's a varmint, there's. There's a small creature on our roof walking around like doing it up. And I'm like, we can't get in, right? She's like, hopefully. And I'm like, oh God. And I'm gonna have to handle it. Cause I'm the man.

[Ben Soffer]

You have to do something about that. You have raccoons chilling on your roof.

[Josh Peck]

Could be raccoon, could be a mouse, could be a rat. Like it's a creature of the night. Could be diddy, I don't know.

[Ben Soffer]

Oh my God. I would move. I would bug out if I heard a creature of the night on my roof. Or just get a sound machine, Josh. Or you could do. My dad hates these. You know the little spikes in the city that prevent pigeons from landing. They make him incredibly sad. You want to see a sad man? Bruce offers, staring at those spikes. He's very like, where do the pigeon. Where are the pigeons supposed to rest? That said, you need those spikes on your roof.

[Josh Peck]

I'm not going to put spikes all over my roof. I'm going to look like I live in a penitentiary.

[Ben Soffer]

Well, you'll solve a problem and you'll have another one.

[Josh Peck]

That sounds terrible.

[Ben Soffer]

A gossipy neighbor.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah, I don't think that's going to work out for me. But I just have to deal with the fact that, I mean my mother in law the other day, they thought that they saw a mouse in her pantry. It was just a Weird light trick that, like, shined off the peanut butter filled pretzels. I digress. But. And she is such, like, she is so much more, like, outdoorsy, cool, collected than me. Like, cool with farm work, the whole thing. But she was, like, freaked out. She's like, I'm out of here if there's a mouse in there. And I'm like, it's a mouse.

[Ben Soffer]

Like, this is upbringing, Josh. This is upbringing. I had the occasional mouse growing up. It was no big deal. You, I'm assuming, had the occasional mouse. It's no big deal. You hoped for if you're not. Yes. As opposed to a very scary rat.

[Josh Peck]

A big, fat, fat rat. No. Awful.

[Ben Soffer]

Awful. No. No. Then you need to give your bed. You're sleeping on the trundle. If you have a big rat in there, they're moving in. No good. But yeah. Claudia is petrified of the smallest mouse. Like, oh my God. Like, will not sleep in the apartment. Nothing. She's like, what if they come on the bed? I'm like, what if they come on the bed? They're not coming on the bed. They're not. They're on the ground. We'll call an exterminator in the morning. She is petrified.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah, no, I guess.

[Ben Soffer]

But I am petrified of rats. Oh, my.

[Josh Peck]

Who? Not good. Not good. Energy. Not good.

[Sponsor]

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Where did the year go?

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They want something else.

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There were these. It was gorgeous.

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Hello.

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[Josh Peck]

Should we get to a speak pipe?

[Ben Soffer]

Yes.

[Josh Peck]

If you want to leave us a message if you want us to answer a question or give you advice, go to speakpipe.com good guys. Keep it brief. Brevity is key. Here's one from Bailey.

[Bailey]

Hey, Ben and Josh, this is Bailey. Big moron here. I have a Nuts or not Nuts for you guys. I recently went to the dentist for my buy in annual cleaning. And when we were done, I made my next appointment. Didn't take an appointment card because I'm from the 21st century. And I put it in my outlook and I left and they did not give me a goodie bag. You know what I'm talking about. The goodie bag that has the extra toothbrush, the mini toothpaste, the chapstick, the floss, the whole thing. And I felt dumb because I wasn't going to ask for a goodie bag. I'm an adult, but am I nuts for expecting a goodie bag or are they nuts for not giving me one? I feel like dentists have trained us to receive a goodie bag after getting our biannual cleanings since we were children. And now I'm an adult and this is the first time I've never got one. So let me know. Am I nuts or are they nuts? Hope you have a great rest of your day.

[Ben Soffer]

Bye.

[Josh Peck]

What do we think?

[Ben Soffer]

You're nuts because you're still thinking about the dental goodie bag.

[Josh Peck]

But.

[Ben Soffer]

It'S definitely a common practice to receive a nice toothbrush, a nice small little toothpaste, maybe some mouthwash, maybe some floss, but it's not that serious.

[Josh Peck]

I agree. I think your biggest problem, Bailey, is that you have the name of a four year old. So you never grew up. I mean, can you imagine a 90 year old lady named Bailey? Bailey Schwartzman?

[Ben Soffer]

Well, Bailey has killed herself.

[Josh Peck]

No, it's just a young. It's very young, you know what her.

[Ben Soffer]

Did you change your name?

[Josh Peck]

I mean, it's a little Bailey. Bailey Rothstein. You know Bailey has Alzheimer's. That doesn't sound right.

[Ben Soffer]

You think her last name is Eve?

[Josh Peck]

What?

[Ben Soffer]

You think her last name is Eve?

[Josh Peck]

Bailey Leaf. Bailey. It's so dumb. You know what I mean?

[Ben Soffer]

I know what you mean.

[Josh Peck]

Bailey broke her hip. It doesn't track. No, Bailey's incontinent. You know, Bailey needs.

[Ben Soffer]

I guess if we're ripping this hypothetical Bailey, when she said, I didn't take the appointment card because it's the 21st century, I put it in my outlook. It's like saying because it's in the 21st century, I put it in my.

[Josh Peck]

PC, I put it in my Palm Pilot. Bailey, you're awesome. It just. We're just fooling. We're just goofing.

[Ben Soffer]

You're great, Bailey. You're great, Bailey.

[Josh Peck]

God bless you. I'm sorry. You deserve better. And I think if you ask, they'll give it to you. They ask me after cleaning, but they kind of, like, look at me like, do you want it? And I'll be like, yeah, what am I gonna say? No? And it's never great.

[Ben Soffer]

It's bad. It's usually a small toothbrush and a small. It's like travel size.

[Josh Peck]

Right.

[Ben Soffer]

I don't need that. Also, honestly, I'm now thinking about it. It's almost insulting to get that goodie bag on the way out. You think I don't have a toothbrush?

[Josh Peck]

Well, and it's just like the idea that the only toothbrush you're getting is every six months at the dentist. And I really like my dentist, but she's not springing for the good ones.

[Ben Soffer]

How often do you replace your toothbrush, Josh?

[Josh Peck]

I happen to have a Sonicare, which changed my life. I was not an electric toothbrush guy. Wow. But I am so wealthy. Whoa. Whoa.

[Ben Soffer]

Way to just drop your bag of gold. I have an electric toothbrush pod. Whoa.

[Josh Peck]

And I. And I have an espresso. I'm sorry. I'm doing well. And what happens is it'll beep every three months when you need a new brush head, which, ooh, by the way, I need to buy more. So I change every three months. But it's an incredible machine.

[Ben Soffer]

I'm a big oral B guy. Just a classic. Yeah. I use a regular toothbrush. Replace it, I don't know, once every two months. I think I'll get a new toothbrush. I just like the firm bristle. There's nothing worse than a soft bristle. My whitia nuts. I'm sure it's been one before when you go to one of those hotels and they have the eco friendly toothbrushes, and literally, it's like soft horse hair, and you're just, like, mushing it against your teeth. But there's. There's no there. Like, there's no friction. No good.

[Josh Peck]

And who am I telling? You're clearly the dental professional of the three of us. And, Olivia, feel free to weigh in here. But don't they always tell you soft bristles? Don't they? Don't they, Olivia?

[Anthony Xavier]

I feel like there's something. If you use the hard bristles, I think it's bad for your enamel or gums. Yeah, your Gums. It can make your gum bleed.

[Ben Soffer]

But I do.

[Anthony Xavier]

I am the same way with you, Ben. I gotta have a tough bristle, otherwise I feel like my teeth don't get as clean.

[Ben Soffer]

Let's clarify, okay? I'm not talking about, like, needles. I'm talking about a firm enough bristle to remove plaque. But the soft one does nothing.

[Josh Peck]

Not a bristle pad for the tooth.

[Ben Soffer]

No, the soft one does nothing. Nothing. It's terrible. Sometimes I'll use the back if I'm at a hotel. And the bristles that soft, sometimes I'll just use the back and I'll rub the wood on my teeth.

[Josh Peck]

Tell me, what do you think of the health and wellness people who say, all you need is to brush your teeth? You don't need toothpaste.

[Ben Soffer]

I say that you don't care what other people think of your breath because there's two things that you're accomplishing. Because I've had this thought, Josh, there are two things that you're accomplishing when you brush your teeth with toothpaste. One is your health, and two is your human decency for others. If you're only concerned with your health, then you don't need toothpaste. I don't think. If you're concerned with the human decency of others and want to have a conversation in close proximity to me, then you're going to need your breath not to smell like the inside of your mouth.

[Josh Peck]

Right.

[Ben Soffer]

That's what I think. But do I think that toothpaste actually helps clean your teeth? I don't. I don't.

[Josh Peck]

But I do. Listen, I'm Freddy fluoridated. Like, I go. I'm fluoride forward, babe. I believe in it. I'm with it. Throw it in the water.

[Ben Soffer]

Unfortunately, I've been. I've had too much fluoride. I hope everything I read is that fluoride's bad. I've had so much fluoride, Josh, my parents gave me fluoride treatment on my teeth. That's probably why I can't remember anything.

[Josh Peck]

No, we all. First of all, we all get that. And if you want, there's a great episode of my friend's podcast, the Jordan Harbinger show, and he does something called Skeptical Sundays, where he'll, like, debunk timeshares or fluoride or, like, all these things that are like hydrotherapy. That's when I found out that this whole eight glasses a day thing was a croc. But he did one on fluoride. And it was fascinating because overwhelmingly, fluoride A big positive from what? If you. From what I took away from the podcast is. It's like oral health has been improved dramatically from fluoride. Can you overdo? Of course. But that's everything.

[Ben Soffer]

I think we're in a generation, though, where we may have overdone it. We plastered it on our teeth in a coating that just stayed with us forever.

[Josh Peck]

I don't think so. I think you do that treatment when you're a kid and it, like, lasts a bit. It's like a sealant.

[Ben Soffer]

All I know is I've never gotten a cavity.

[Josh Peck]

That's right, brother.

[Ben Soffer]

That I've gotten is brain damage.

[Josh Peck]

I'm telling you. Okay, here's another one from.

[Ben Soffer]

My parents were thrilled. We're going to make sure your son never has cavities. But also, as half his brain, I'm.

[Josh Peck]

Pretty sure that happened to me, too.

[Ben Soffer]

Where do I. Where do I sign up?

[Josh Peck]

Let's listen to Lily.

[Lily]

Hi, Josh and Ben. Huge. I love you guys so much.

[Ben Soffer]

Question.

[Lily]

I was long distance with my boyfriend for about three years and he just moved to Dallas for law school, so I decided to join him. Now I found my own place and got a roommate because I thought I could make friends better that way. But the move is really hard. And I just moved from a place where I had a lot of friends and I really love my job and I just started a job that I absolutely hate. I need your advice. What do I do? Do I lean in and try to make the most of it, or can I move back to where I was much happier?

[Josh Peck]

Thanks.

[Lily]

Love you guys so much. I've been so lonely here. I go on walks and listen to you guys and it feels like we're all having a conversation. Okay, bye.

[Ben Soffer]

Oh, my God, folks, this is how you leave a fucking speak pipe. Lily, I'm gonna cry. I love you. I love you. That I love you. Yeah. Go, Josh. Yes. Good. That said, Lily, you're fucking up, ok? You've been dating a guy for three years. You move for him and you're not moving in with him.

[Josh Peck]

That's right.

[Ben Soffer]

This is not good, Lily. This is not good. And I'm telling you this because we, we love you. You are you. You sound amazing. And you don't move for someone you've been together that long and move in with a friend. Shit or get off the pot. Say to say to him, you shouldn't have other things to do. It shouldn't be your responsibility to find new friends in a new city. You moved for your boyfriend. He should Be introducing you to his friends. He should be. He should be including you. Like, this is no good. No good.

[Josh Peck]

First off, let me say Dallas rips. I have never seen more sick, more buffets, and more urgent cares in one metropolitan area. They want you to get fat, fat, fat, and get antibiotics. Easy, babe. Dallas is the shit. And so there's a. It's a great city. You didn't move to a bad city. But I couldn't agree with you more. You said it perfectly, Ben. You've been together three years. I can understand if it was, like, three months and you were, like, on your stocky era and you just, like, moved to a boys town who you just met because you wanted to be closer to him. But it's three years. You're. You're having a rough time because you guys should be living together, which would totally change the dynamic.

[Ben Soffer]

Yeah, this is actually a very strange story, and I don't want to ruin things, Lily, but the guy. This is no good. This is a red flag to me. That he let you move here and you're not living together is weird. We also. Josh don't know how old they are.

[Josh Peck]

They sound like twenties.

[Ben Soffer]

Is it possible that they're really, really, really young? Is it possible that Lily's, like, 20 in law school? Oh, true. He's in law school.

[Josh Peck]

I mean, she could.

[Ben Soffer]

Okay.

[Josh Peck]

I don't know, but then she would be. Olivia, talk.

[Anthony Xavier]

Okay. Well, actually, so Ethan moved to LA first, and then I moved about a year later. And we didn't end up moving in together. And we had been together for three years at that point, but it was for a similar reason, because I'd never lived somewhere other than Cincinnati. Shout out. And so I wanted to, like, kind of build my own life, but he very much included me in everything, and I didn't have to, like, struggle to make friends and, you know, was able to, like, build my own life, but also, like, be very much included in his. And we live, like, a mile from each other, so I'm not necessarily, like, as freaked out by that immediately, but I do think it's really important to, like, be included in each other's communities and, you know, feel supported, because that is, like, a huge move. And if you've been together that long, you know, you need to feel, like, secure and safe there. So I don't know. It sounded too like maybe he just moved there. So I don't know. But, yeah, because if he just started law school, it might have been, you know, but still, like, I think they could probably use A little bit of more time together. I can imagine.

[Ben Soffer]

I just googled euthanasia near me. I apologize. Clearly there are other people that are going through this. And maybe it's not that strange, but on first reaction I thought it was quite odd. Clearly there are ways where it's not odd. Cause Ethan is fantastic and I'm sure that this situation is no different.

[Josh Peck]

And what I also have to say is don't let this boyfriend of yours gaslight you that law school is taking up so much of his time. He's not at Georgetown. You're in Dallas. He's probably going to be in person. He's going to be an ambulance chaser. He's going to be a personal injury. So what? He doesn't need to get all A's. Listen, you want to know, you want to know what a lawyer is called? Who got all Ds in law school? A lawyer. That's what they're called, a lawyer.

[Ben Soffer]

Bingo. Bingo. Bingo.

[Josh Peck]

Yes, totally. Hey, have you ever been part of a class action lawsuit?

[Ben Soffer]

I wish. It'll be Ozempic.

[Josh Peck]

I don't know when the people be Ozempic title.

[Ben Soffer]

I'll be involved for sure. I'll be 60 with one foot and like, but skinny. Ooh, baby skinny.

[Josh Peck]

You'll be negative. Buckle fat. Your cheeks will just be like black. Like dark matter low. Let's do one more question from Adeline.

[Adeline]

Howdy, Josh and Ben. Adeline here. I have had the opportunity to nurse my baby daughter for a number of months and I have decided to donate my excess breast milk. And so recently I had someone reach out and said, hey, I noticed that you are a milk donor. You know, a great way to continue giving back, become a surrogate. Which leads me to my question, with love of male opinion, how would you guys feel about your wives becoming a surrogate? And if you had the opportunity to carry and birth a child, would you? And what's your price? Thanks so much. Look forward to hearing from y'all.

[Ben Soffer]

Olivia.

[Josh Peck]

Oh my God. You don't have to answer. Olivia.

[Ben Soffer]

What the hell am I supposed to say?

[Josh Peck]

No pressure.

[Ben Soffer]

Do I want to be a surrogate? And how much am I charging for somebody to suck on my teat for life? Like, I don't know.

[Josh Peck]

She's asking just surrogate. She's not asking for. If you relax.

[Ben Soffer]

She's not asking for me to be a midwife.

[Josh Peck]

You would be like the goat milk of mother's milk.

[Ben Soffer]

I would be a thousand. Literally $1,000 an hour would be how much? I'd charge for my golden breast milk. So that wasn't what she was asking. She was asking if I could carry a child. Would I carry a child?

[Josh Peck]

No. Would you be a surrogate for someone? And how much would you charge? And how would you feel about your wife being a surrogate?

[Ben Soffer]

Isn't a surrogate holding the child? No.

[Josh Peck]

Aw, you cute kid. You're cute.

[Ben Soffer]

What is it?

[Josh Peck]

A surrogate is so traditionally, what it is is that you have a egg.

[Ben Soffer]

From implanted in the surrogate.

[Josh Peck]

Yeah. You implant it in the surrogate? Yeah.

[Ben Soffer]

So I'm the one holding it. That's what I said. Holding it, carrying it, bursting it. Oh, God. Okay. I was right. You were. You over there. No, I wasn't holding it in the palm of my hand like a baseball. I was holding it in my. In my belly.

[Josh Peck]

Yes.

[Ben Soffer]

You're not sperm combined to just hold the baby. Oh, my God. You. I was like, do I not know what a surrogate is? Almost gaslit me. I was like, holy shit, you gaslit yourself. So is the question, if I could carry somebody's child, would I?

[Josh Peck]

Yes. And how much would you charge?

[Ben Soffer]

Okay. If somebody really close to me needed it and they couldn't do it themselves, I'd like to think that I would. I probably wouldn't. There's no price. I'm out.

[Josh Peck]

You're out?

[Sponsor]

Yeah.

[Ben Soffer]

I don't want to do it. The emotional connection to having a child and then needing to give them up and going through nine months of that.

[Josh Peck]

But it's not even remotely yours, remember? It's not your. There's no part of you. You are just the home.

[Ben Soffer]

You probably still feel a connection to the baby coming out of your vaj, but it's.

[Josh Peck]

I would imagine. I can't speak. Olivia. Feel free to jump in.

[Ben Soffer]

My mom.

[Anthony Xavier]

My mom was a surrogate for my aunt, actually, which is how.

[Josh Peck]

Oh, my gosh, My little cousin is here.

[Ben Soffer]

Just kill me. You have too much life experience.

[Josh Peck]

You have too much life experience. God, I'm so glad I didn't answer first. I can't do it, Olivia. This is incredible. Olivia is a mad genius dog. She let us answer first, and then she slid in with. I didn't live with Ethan right away. My aunt had someone's kid. I don't know who. What she just said, but we're wrong. We screwed up.

[Anthony Xavier]

No, I think actually Ben's point was right. Like, my mom didn't do it for any money. She just did it because my aunt had cervical cancer and, like, couldn't carry a Child of her own, but they like moved her ovaries up so she still had eggs and they were able to like save them. And then my aunt or my mom, when she found out that she could have kids and had me, then she was like, oh, I can, you know, carry a baby for you. So, you know, same kind of thing.

[Ben Soffer]

Wow, that is beautiful. What a beautiful story. But so, yeah, I was right.

[Anthony Xavier]

Yeah.

[Josh Peck]

But I agree. I think it's gotta be like donating a kidney. Like if I'm, if I can avoid it, I'm not doing it. I'm certainly not doing it for money. But if someone I love needs it, then I'm certainly gonna consider it.

[Ben Soffer]

I think so. Otherwise, your price, if you're planning on making this a career. Right. Which I think people do. Yeah, which people do. It would just need to be the cost of like two years salary because you'd need a year where you're just pregnant but then you want a year to actually more than that because your post 3 years salary would be what I'd charge.

[Josh Peck]

But salary where at Chick Fil A or Google. You know what I'm saying?

[Ben Soffer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Josh Peck]

Could be 180k, could be 1.8.

[Ben Soffer]

Totally.

[Josh Peck]

Should we get to our what are you nuts?

[Ben Soffer]

Yeah, we're nuts. By the way.

[Josh Peck]

We're nuts.

[Ben Soffer]

But yes, we should. We are nuts.

[Josh Peck]

Get out of that head of yours. It's a great episode once I stitch it together.

[Ben Soffer]

No, it's an amazing episode. I'm just saying we're nuts, that's all.

[Josh Peck]

Our what are you nuts? Moment of the week is our gripes with people, places and things. Whatever's currently sticking in our crop, good or bad, we write them down during the week. And mine this week is, you know, recently I've noticed, you know, I love to pick up food. I am a big. I will use the apps, but I will pick up myself because that $30 extra fee for me to drive a mile, no big deal. I'm happy to do it. But I have noticed, and I give this question to the group here that people have become really shitty at restaurants to people coming to pick up food because they assume that they work for doordash or like they're dealing with people. It's become a true industry now. It's not just pick up and take out. Like I imagine that it's. It's added a lot of business to many restaurants. But now when I go in to go pick up my food, they look at me like what's the name on the order? Like Can I have. Listen, can we have a moment here? What are you nuts? I'm not. You know, we don't all work for the food delivery companies, but also maybe be nice to them too. I don't know. I don't know these doordash drivers, but kind of made me think. What are you nuts?

[Ben Soffer]

I was gonna say there's multiple wedding there. Number one, be nice to the fucking doordash drivers, okay? It's a hard ass job. And two, sure. And two, be nice to Joshua, who just spent $250 on a very mediocre steak that he's gonna bring home. Be nice. Okay?

[Josh Peck]

I'm at SeaPeekay. I just bought like 13 apps.

[Ben Soffer]

You know, also, can you. Also, can we make delivery food good again? Like, can that. Can that happen? Like, it's not good anymore. Like, every time I order in, the food's getting worse and worse and worse. And then I go to a restaurant for the same food and I'm remembering how much better the food can taste. I'm just saying takeout's going downhill, Josh. I think it's just too. It's too. Like, too many people are doing it and they just can't keep up. I don't know if you have that same experience, but my takeout's been terrible lately.

[Josh Peck]

Preach on it. If anyone can do it, Trump can.

[Ben Soffer]

Oh, yeah. Make food good again. Okay. My. What are you nuts? Is I picked up a couple slices of pizza. Me and Claudia, we were having a chill night. Isn't that nice when you can just pick up a couple of slices?

[Josh Peck]

Couple slice.

[Ben Soffer]

I'm eating a slice on my walk home. That's a. What are you nuts for me? But that's the way that I operate. I can't hold food. I can't hold food and not eat it. I can't hold food and not eat it either. It's not possible. I need a snack for my walk.

[Josh Peck]

Of course.

[Ben Soffer]

Absolutely. So maybe yes. My. What are you nuts? But my second. What are you nuts?

[Josh Peck]

Pounding base on 3rd Avenue, holding the.

[Ben Soffer]

Holding the box like this and the slice like this. Oh, my God. I'm walking down the street and there's a woman who passes by and she's like, how can you be eating that in front of me? I'm on my way to the gym now. All I want is pizza. Hey, lady. What are you nuts? I don't know you. Why are you talking to me like, what do you. You think I owe you something? I shouldn't be eating on the street because you, stranger, are going to the gym. I was so floored. Like, what? What? Are you nuts? People are so weird. People are so strange. Keep it to yourself.

[Josh Peck]

I hope that lady had an awful workout.

[Ben Soffer]

She probably. I hope she went and got a whole pie of pizza and gained 80 pounds and is just like a fat, fat fuck.

[Josh Peck]

I hope she pinched a nerve. I Hope she tried CrossFit and blew out her knee. Okay, take us home.

[Ben Soffer]

And that, folks, is our show. As always, rate us five stars. Otherwise, what are you, nuts? Listen to us on Spotify, Apple, wherever you get your podcasts. Share our clips. TikTok. We're blowing up Instagram. It's fantastic. Mondays and Thursdays, folks. Oh, and don't forget to watch us on Josh's YouTube, of course. And Mondays and Thursdays, folks. We'll see you next time.

[Josh Peck]

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.