Good Life Project — "From Triggered to Tranquil: Reset Your Nervous System for Lasting Calm"

Host: Jonathan Fields
Guests: Jonny Miller (Nervous System Mastery), Emilia Jviatovskaya (The Flourishing Center)
Date: September 29, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode explores the crucial yet often overlooked role of the nervous system in our emotional wellbeing, resilience, and capacity to "live a good life." Host Jonathan Fields convenes deep-dive conversations with Jonny Miller (nervous system educator) and Emilia Jviatovskaya (positive psychology practitioner), who reveal practical approaches and scientific frameworks for moving from states of chronic stress and anxiety into grounded, intentional presence. Listeners learn to identify their own nervous system states, how to reset when triggered, and a rich toolkit of body- and mind-based practices for lasting calm.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why Our Nervous System State Matters

[05:18] Jonny Miller underscores how much our ability to live intentionally, connect deeply, and even perform at our best depends on the state of our nervous system—not willpower or genetics.

• "When our nervous systems get hijacked...it's very hard to live in an intentional way, to live in a way that is aligned with our values." [05:35]
• Miller calls out "emotional fluidity"—the learned capacity to shift states—as foundational for healthy relationships and organizations.

2. The Three Key Nervous System States (Polyvagal Theory)

Miller introduces a three-part model based on polyvagal theory:
[07:18 - 09:07]

• Sympathetic (Gas Pedal): Mobilizes energy for action/alertness ("go, go, go")
• Parasympathetic — Ventral (Foot Brake): Social engagement, connection, creativity, groundedness
• Parasympathetic — Dorsal (Emergency Handbrake): Deep rest when healthy; collapse/shutdown under strain

Key takeaway: "Is my nervous system response appropriate to the situation? The ventral state is our capacity to stay present and grounded...even in high-stakes situations." [09:07]

3. The RISE Framework for Nervous System Mastery

[10:41] - [14:32]
Miller walks through his signature RISE framework:

• R (Reactivity): Noticing somatic markers that signal you're being triggered.
• I (Interoception): Hone awareness of subtle body cues (e.g., tension, heat, curling toes) before reactivity escalates.
• S (Self-Regulation): Choosing strategies to return to baseline—categorized as Top Down, Bottom Up, and Outside In (see below).
• E (Emotional Fluidity): Moving skillfully between states.

Quote: "The framework is 'rise out of reactivity'...It takes a lot of practice to notice these things in real time." [11:10]

4. Practical Self-Regulation (3 Buckets)

[14:32 - 17:04]

• Top Down: Mindset and cognitive strategies—mindfulness, reframes, affirmations.
• Bottom Up: Physiological interventions—breathwork, eye focus, movement, sensory shifts.
• Outside In: Environment changes—nature, lighting, minimizing stressors, seeking support/connection ("co-regulation" with grounded others).

"You can combine them and stack them...treat yourself as a scientist of your own experience." [14:32]

5. Emotional Contagion & Co-regulation

[17:04 - 20:17]
Jonathan recounts workplace research on "emotional contagion": team members quickly absorb a leader’s emotional state.

Miller: "Our nervous systems are almost like instruments...if you play a tuning fork, another in the same room will resonate. We’re constantly resonating with the other human instruments in our vicinity." [19:04]

6. Effective Downregulation: Breathing Techniques

[20:17 - 23:06]
Miller’s favorite practices for calming the nervous system:

• Single Breath Hum: Hum on the exhale to trigger nitric oxide release and relaxation
• Extended Exhales: Exhale twice as long as inhale (e.g., inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 8)
• Physiological Sigh (Huberman): Two short inhales through nose, slow sigh out

"The breath is almost like a remote control for how you're feeling." [22:41]

7. First Steps & Daily Experiments

[25:00 - 25:54]

• Notice nervous system shifts throughout the day, around people/times/environments.
• Practice: Try humming before and after, tune in to changes in state.
• Self-science: “The trick is really practicing that.” [25:00]

8. What It Means to Live a Good Life

• Miller: "Living intentionally and treating life as one big curriculum...learning how to embrace all aspects of the human experience." [26:18]

Emilia Jviatovskaya’s Anxiety Tools: Theory & Practice

1. Understanding the Spectrum of Anxiety

[31:53 - 34:34]

• Anxiety is a subset of fear, ranging from minor concern to panic attacks.
• "What makes for the difference between where you fall on the spectrum...is also something under our control." [32:42]
• Fear often roots in imagined futures ("what if" thinking).

2. When to Use Body vs. Mind Tools

[34:54 - 38:37]

• For low-to-moderate anxiety (0–5/10): Cognitive approaches (write/rationalize/redirect thoughts).
• For high anxiety (6–10/10): "You need to use the body. When a person's in severe threat mode...it's very rare that someone's words, 'Everything is going to be okay,' will make you feel better." [35:24]

3. Body-Based Techniques for Anxiety Relief (6–10 Level)

[39:07 – 61:40]

Top Tools Highlighted:

• Exercise: Move/sweat to "complete the stress cycle"—use up stress hormones (cortisol, adrenaline).

  • "Tiring yourself out, tiring a worry mind, is all related to the use of the body and using exercise." [41:19]

• Self-Soothing Touch:

  • Safe touch, self-massage, weighted blankets, warm baths—signals safety and calm.
  • “Touch is the most primitive way we can create a sense of calm in the body…” [42:09]

• Havening:

  • A self-touch pattern: slowly stroke arms from shoulders to elbows, triggering a shift to delta (slow) brainwave frequencies.
  • "We use touch to downregulate the nervous system..." [47:22]

• Butterfly Taps/Crisscross Hands:

  • Cross arms and gently tap on alternate sides; activates both brain hemispheres, interrupts worry loop.
  • “Using the body to trick the brain into a more calm place.” [54:06]

• EFT/Tapping:

  • Tapping meridian points while saying affirmations; interrupts anxiety cycle, easily accessible.
  • "Half of the benefit...is remembering to do it." [55:12]

• Forward Folds:

  • Yoga posture—bend forward, let head drop. Stimulates vagus nerve, slows heart rate.
  • “When we fold forward, it starts to stimulate the parasympathetic response…” [58:56]

4. Mental Tools (When Stress < 6)

• Regular Self-Check-ins:

  • Set reminders to monitor emotional state; “Where am I? What do I need?” [63:32]

• Catch the Chatter:

  • Pause and write down/review your thoughts. “Catching the chatter has to do with being able to pause and ask yourself what am I thinking about?” [64:31]

• Talk Back to Thoughts (Reframe):

  • Separate yourself from the emotion or thought. Instead of “I am anxious,” say “A part of me is anxious.”
  • “When you are it...it feels harder to change. So...if we can start to do this very simple catch and redirect, then we start to gain control over our thoughts.” [67:21]

• Pattern Interrupts:

  • Any action that disrupts the loop of stress/rumination, whether physical or mental, brings choice back online.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Patterns of Stress:

  • “A lot of problems people are trying to solve in the world are downstream from nervous system dysregulation…” —Jonny Miller [05:58]

• On Co-Regulation:

  • “We create our environments and then our environments design us in return.” —Jonny Miller [16:00]

• On Breathing as Remote Control:

  • "There's literally a part of the brain spying on how we’re breathing..." —Jonny Miller [21:34]

• On Agency Over Emotion:

  • "Fear is human, it’s natural...But emotions are meant to be signalers to us." —Emilia Jviatovskaya [32:36]

• On Moving From Identity to Experience:

  • “If you can move from ‘I am overwhelmed’ to ‘a part of me is overwhelmed,’ it becomes so much more changeable.” —Jonathan Fields [69:52]

Timestamps for Core Concepts

• 05:18 — Why care about the nervous system? (Miller)
• 07:18 — Three key nervous system states
• 10:41 — The RISE framework explained
• 14:32 — Three categories of self-regulation
• 17:04 — Emotional contagion, co-regulation
• 20:37 — Simple home strategies for breathing regulation
• 25:00 — “First steps” experiment in self-awareness
• 31:53 — Emilia Jviatovskaya: Anxiety and the spectrum of fear
• 39:32 — Exercise for stress hormone burnoff
• 42:09 — Self-soothing & touch
• 47:22 — Havening: DIY touch-downregulation
• 54:06 — Butterfly taps & cross-body techniques
• 55:12 — EFT/Tapping
• 58:56 — Why forward folds calm the body
• 63:32 — How to use “mental tools” and self-checks
• 64:31 — The practice of catching your mental chatter
• 67:21 — Talking back (reframing) to thoughts

Closing Thought

Jonathan Fields (Host):
"These conversations reveal what I consider a missing piece in most approaches to emotional well being and offer a practical pathway to greater resilience and ease."

For Further Exploration

A full list of 20+ practical tools discussed is available via the show notes.

This summary captures the heart of the episode—its scientific depth, practical advice, and warm encouragement—so that listeners and non-listeners alike can begin to shift their nervous system from triggered to tranquil.