Good Life Project – "The Unresolution: Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail & What Works Instead"

Host: Jonathan Fields
Podcast: Good Life Project
Date: January 1, 2026

Overview

In this episode, Jonathan Fields takes a deep dive into the pitfalls of traditional New Year’s resolutions and offers a new paradigm he calls the "Unresolution." Rather than relying on rigid, all-or-nothing declarations, Jonathan suggests a gentler, more adaptive approach to growth—one rooted in direction, experimentation, and regular review. He explores why most resolutions fail, how shame and perfectionism are woven into the resolution culture, and how reframing goals as ongoing experiments enables authenticity, sustainability, and kindness toward oneself.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Pressure and Pitfalls of New Year’s Resolutions

• Jonathan sets the scene: The pressure on January 1st to "get it right."
  • Quote: "There's that little voice that says if I don’t get this right now, the whole year is kind of doomed." (00:54)
• Traditional resolutions are rigid, binary ("on" or "off"), and don’t account for real life’s unpredictability.
• They’re usually crafted in a “vacuum”—not reflecting seasonal stress, energy, or real routines.
• These commitments hinge on willpower, making their (inevitable) failure feel personal rather than structural.
  • Quote: "If you miss a day or two, you’re quote off and the resolution is broken. There’s no such thing as a messy middle or good enough for this season..." (07:52)
• Implicit message: “If I just push hard enough…I can finally fix myself this year.”

2. The "Unresolution" Paradigm

• Jonathan introduces "The Unresolution"—a kinder, experiment-based approach for change.
  • Quote: “What if the problem is the way we’ve been taught to do the New Year in the first place?...What if traditional resolution...is the wrong tool for an actual human life?” (01:37)
• Emphasis is not on abandoning goals, but on shifting “the container you put them in.” (05:42)

The Three Pillars of the Unresolution

1. Direction Over Dictate (10:03)

   • Focus on a compass-like heading, not a pass/fail finish line.
   • Example: "Move toward vitality" instead of "Work out every day."
   • Quote: "A direction is more like a compass heading than a finish line...Specific enough to feel real, but also open enough to allow different expressions over time." (11:32)

2. Experiments Over Edicts (15:18)

   • Replace lifelong edicts with time-bound, specific experiments.
   • Observe results and learn, don’t judge.
   • Examples: “Try a 10-minute walk after lunch for two weeks and see how it feels.”
   • Quote: "An experiment sounds more like, hey, for the next two weeks, I'm going to try a 10 minute walk after lunch and see how it feels." (14:44)

3. Review Over Judgment (16:08)

   • Schedule gentle check-ins weekly or biweekly.
   • Questions: What worked? What felt hard? What surprised you? Should you keep, tweak, or let go?
   • Quote: "This third shift is about building in regular, gentle reviews instead of these harsh verdicts." (16:16)

3. Personal Examples & Core Shifts

• Jonathan contrasts his past failures with rigid resolutions and how gentle experiments now provide insight, not shame.
  • Quote: "Old me, the resolution me, would interpret that as I blew it...But...the unresolution me tries to treat a little bit differently." (19:50)
• The focus shifts from “I failed the plan” to “The experiment gave me data.” (21:10)

4. Embracing Quitting and Incompletion

The Joy of Quitting (22:47)

• Challenges the shame associated with "quitting."
• Differentiates between reactive "giving up" and reflective, wise "letting go."
• Key reflection questions for quitting:
  1. Does this still matter to me now?
  2. Is it compatible with my reality?
  3. Am I moving toward what matters, or just away from discomfort?
  • Quote: "Letting go is actually an act of integrity in those moments, not failure." (26:42)

The Beauty of Incompletion (28:55)

• Life is full of messy, unfinished projects—this is normal and even valuable.
• Points out in personal example: writing 25,000 words of a novel and not finishing; the value was in the process.
  • Quote: "Incompletion is not a glitch in the system. In many ways, it is the system." (29:37)
  • Quote: "Maybe you didn’t finish the 'online course', but one module changed how you work." (30:47)
• Encourages the mindset: "Complete enough for now, not completed forever."

5. Practical Unresolution Practice

The Process (34:01)

Jonathan walks listeners through making their own Unresolution with three steps:

1. Choose a Direction

   • For this month, pick one area of focus—“If my life were to tilt just a little more in one area over the next month, what would I want that tilt to be?” (34:36)

2. Design One or Two Experiments

   • Time-bound and small. Examples:
     • 10-minute walk after lunch, for two weeks
     • Pause for three deep breaths after dinner, for a week
     • Send an appreciation text to someone twice a week (35:52)
   • Quote: "Your experiments might be...something that feels almost laughably small and maybe a second one if you’re feeling it..." (37:49)

3. Decide When You’ll Check In

   • Pick a recurring review time (weekly, biweekly).
   • Write it down: "I'll check in with myself every ___." (38:54)
   • Four review questions:
     1. What worked about this experiment?
     2. What felt harder than I expected?
     3. What did this reveal about my actual life right now?
     4. Do I want to keep, tweak, or let go of the experiment? (39:35)

• Quote: "If an experiment isn’t working, that doesn’t mean you failed...it means you just got information..." (41:18)
• This approach is “an ongoing conversation with your life.” (41:34)

Standout Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "You're not broken. You're not uniquely bad at follow through. You're capital H human. A lot of the resolution containers...aren’t designed for real, messy, beautiful human lives." (09:33)
• “Winners never quit...That sounds noble until it traps you in the commitments or experiments that no longer serve the person you are now or were never truly aligned with who you are and what matters to you.” (23:36)
• “Incompletion is not a glitch in the system. In many ways, it is the system.” (29:37)
• "You get to be in relationship with your life. Curious, adaptive, experimental." (43:55)
• “The goal isn’t to pass some arbitrary test. It’s just to keep walking with the person that you are in the direction of the life that actually fits you and feels good and makes you come and feel alive.” (45:10)

Important Timestamps

• 00:00 – 02:47: Jonathan’s introduction and why typical resolutions feel so loaded and doomed to fail
• 03:50 – 09:02: The myth of the clean slate & why we can start without erasing our past
• 09:02 – 19:35: Why resolutions (in their classic form) don’t fit human lives; introduction to the Unresolution
• 19:35 – 28:54: Contrasting old vs. new approaches; the importance of quitting, letting go, and reflection
• 28:54 – 34:00: The “beauty of incompletion”—why unfinished projects are not failures
• 34:00 – 43:55: Step-by-step: Choose a direction, run an experiment, set up your review
• 43:55 – end: Closing thoughts, preview of the next episode (“The Year of Enough”), invitation to share listener unresolutions

Summary & Takeaways

Jonathan Fields reframes the concept of goal-setting for the New Year, proposing listeners let go of brittle, perfectionist resolutions and embrace Unresolutions—gentle, direction-based, experiment-driven approaches with frequent, nonjudgmental reviews. This method honors the inevitable messiness of human life, making quitting and incompletion not only acceptable, but sometimes necessary and wise. Ultimately, the episode is an invitation to define growth as an ongoing, adaptive relationship with oneself, rather than a test to pass or fail.

Next Steps for Listeners

• Write down one direction for January.
• Create one small experiment in that direction.
• Decide when you’ll check in, and when you do, ask the review questions.
• Accept incompletions, celebrate useful quitting, and remember: growth is iterative.

For more, download Jonathan’s free PDF summary and prompts in the show notes.

Follow Jonathan & Good Life Project:

• Instagram: @goodlifeproject
• Listen to next episode: "The Year of Enough" coming soon.