Grace in Focus — How Are Wives to Submit to Their Husbands? (1 Peter 3:1-12)

Podcast: Grace in Focus
Host: Grace Evangelical Society
Episode Date: January 12, 2026
Main Speakers: Bob Wilkin, David Renfro, and Guest
Topic: The conduct of wives and husbands in marriage, inner and outer beauty, submission, and unity in the church, based on 1 Peter 3:1-12.

Episode Overview

This concise, 13-minute episode unpacks 1 Peter 3:1-12, focusing on godly conduct among wives, husbands, and the church at large. The hosts clarify commonly misunderstood concepts around “the salvation of the soul” (“psuke”), biblical submission (especially for wives), honoring wives as equal heirs, and fostering unity and compassion in the Christian community. The discussion draws on scriptural examples, Greek language insights, and commentary from Zane Hodges to encourage practical Christlikeness, both in the home and church.

1. Understanding “The Salvation of the Soul” (00:57–03:03)

Key Points:

• Definition of “psuke”:
  • The Greek word "psuke" is the root of “psychology” and usually translated as “soul.”
  • Bob Wilkin: “First Peter is all about the salvation of something called the Psuche Psuke. What is that?” (00:57)
  • Guest: “It is translated in most English translations as the soul.” (01:10)
• Common Misunderstandings:
  • Many assume “saving the soul” always means “going to heaven,” but context can refer to physical preservation (like Noah) or inner transformation.
  • David Renfro: “Saving of the soul means being born again. But yet we know... that the salvation of the soul often refers to physically surviving. Like Noah and his family. Eight souls were saved in the ark.” (01:18)
• Transformative Salvation:
  • Zane Hodges defines salvation of the psuke as “that total transforming work of God upon our lives which is presently being realized in the midst of Christlike sufferings and which in the future will be unveiled in Christlike glory.” (02:20)
  • David Renfro: “Through suffering [our lives] are being made more like Christ... in the life to come it will involve heightened sense of his glory.” (02:39)

2. The Structure of 1 Peter 3:1-12 (03:03–03:37)

Breakdown:

• Verses 1–6: Instructions for wives
• Verse 7: Instruction for husbands
• Verses 8–12: Guidance for the church community

3. Submission and Inner Beauty: Instructions for Wives (03:37–07:15)

Key Insights:

• Biblical Submission:
  • Guest: “It says likewise... the same kind of submissive attitude that all of us are supposed to have to people that are in authority over us.” (03:37)
  • This is about proper order and mutual submission (as to Christ and governing authorities), not general subservience.
• Submission Specifically to Own Husbands:
  • Guest: “They are supposed to be submissive to their husbands, not to all men, but... to your own husbands, not somebody else’s husband.” (04:19, 04:27)
• Witness to Unbelieving Husbands:
  • Guest: “Her submissiveness is... a testimony to that unbelieving husband of the love of God.” (04:55)
• Emphasis on Inner over External Beauty:
  • David Renfro: “She’s not only to be beautiful externally, but she’s also to be beautiful internally. In fact, the emphasis seems to be on the internal.” (05:22)
  • Guest: “Observe your chaste or pure conduct accompanied by fear... a reverential, sober [attitude].” (05:34)
  • David Renfro: “Wives are supposed to have a sense of honor and respect to their husbands.” (05:45)
  • Guest: “Don’t be obsessed with how you look.” (06:04)
• Cultural Application:
  • The Roman status display (jewelry, dresses) is contrasted with the “incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.” (06:28–06:35, 06:39)
• Example of Sarah and Holy Women:
  • David Renfro: “Power can often be shown in the fact that we don’t need power to always speak up. We can be quiet and submissive...” (07:15)
  • Guest: “[Holy women] trusted in the Lord, knowing... that the inner beauty of the woman was way more important than the external beauty. And therefore maintain your priorities.” (07:38)

Memorable Quote:

• Guest: “Her submissiveness is a testimony... Even if she suffers in that relationship, which is possible, it’s still a testimony. And that’s what the Lord wants. Wives who do that are going to be greatly rewarded.” (04:55)

4. Husbands: Honor, Understanding, & Equality (08:02–10:54)

Key Insights:

• Husbands’ Responsibility:
  • David Renfro: “Husbands likewise dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel. And weaker vessel... means weaker physically.” (08:02)
  • “Women and children in that culture were considered vulnerable... that’s what this is talking about.” (08:28)
• Joint Heirship:
  • David: “He says... heirs together of the grace of God... The favor of God we experience in life.” (08:36–09:17)
  • Does joint heirship apply to all believers, or just the faithful? Zane Hodges suggests it’s universal among believers.
• Consequences for Husbands:
  • Husbands must honor wives “so that your prayers may not be hindered.” (09:17)
  • Guest: “Husbands, don’t be selfish. It’s not all about you. Because your wife, if she’s a believer, is a fellow partaker of God’s grace. She needs to be treated that way.” (09:55)
• Sacrificial Love:
  • David Renfro: “Paul [says] we’re to love our wives as Christ loves the church... it’s a sacrificial love.” (10:12)
• Servant Leadership, Not Domination:
  • Guest: “Husbands are not ‘Lord, high rulers of the household.’ They are joint heirs with their wife and should be treated as equal partners... different priorities, but... treated with honor.” (10:25)

Memorable Quotes:

• Guest: “If the husband is not dwelling with his wife properly, his prayers will be hindered.” (09:17)
• Guest: “Husbands are not, Lord, high rulers of the household. They are joint heirs with their wife and should be treated as equal partners in the household.” (10:25)

5. Community Instructions: The Church Body (10:54–12:24)

Key Insights:

• Christian Virtues:
  • Compassion, tenderheartedness, courteousness, and refusal to retaliate.
  • David Renfro: “We’re to have compassion, be tenderhearted, courteous, not returning evil for evil.” (10:54)
• Psalm 34 as Summation:
  • Guest: “Verses 10, 11 and 12 [quote] Psalm 34... control your speech, control your actions and also control your relationships, meaning pursue peace.” (11:40)
  • (12:24) The Lord is “favorably disposed toward this sort of person and he’s going to favor them with his blessings.”

6. Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• David Renfro: “The outcome of your faith, the salvation of your psuke... [is] the inner self.” (01:55)
• Guest (on Zane Hodges): “It’s that total transforming work of God upon our lives... presently realized in Christlike sufferings and... unveiled in Christlike glory.” (02:20)
• David Renfro: “She’s not only to be beautiful externally, but... emphasis seems to be on the internal.” (05:22)
• Guest: “Don’t be obsessed with how you look.” (06:04)
• David Renfro: “Power can often be shown in... we don’t need power to always speak up. We can be quiet and submissive...” (07:15)
• David Renfro: “Husbands... dwell with [wives] with understanding, giving honor... so that your prayers may not be hindered.” (08:02–09:17)
• Guest: “Husbands are not ‘Lord, high rulers of the household...’ They are joint heirs... equal partners...” (10:25)
• David Renfro: “...We’re to have compassion, be tender hearted, courteous, not returning evil for evil.” (10:54)
• Guest: “The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous. His ears are open to their prayers...” (12:24; Psalm 34 reference)

7. Conclusion & Application (12:24–13:08)

Encouragement:

• Study and apply 1 Peter 3:1-12 in personal, home, and church contexts.
• David Renfro: “I would urge you to study it, teach it in your Sunday school, your home Bible study. This is a really powerful passage...” (12:24)
• Final call: “Keep Grace in Focus.” (13:00)

Takeaways

• For Wives: Scriptural submission is limited, purposeful, and a testimony to God’s love, emphasizing inner beauty over social status.
• For Husbands: Leadership means sacrificial, honoring partnership—not dominance. Prayers are hindered by selfishness or dishonor.
• For the Church: Compassion, understanding, and non-retaliation mark the Christlike community under God’s favor.

Recommended next step: Delve into 1 Peter 3:1-12 for deeper personal or group Bible study, reflecting on these practical and theological insights.