Should Children Be Baptized and Should They Participate in Communion?

Summary

Grace in Focus Podcast Episode Summary

Episode: Should Children Be Baptized and Should They Participate in Communion?
Host: Bob Wilkin (Grace Evangelical Society) with Ken Yates
Date: September 15, 2025
Duration: ~13 minutes

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Overview

This episode tackles questions sent in by listener Julia regarding whether her 9-year-old, who believes in Jesus for eternal life and has been baptized, should participate in communion. Bob Wilkin and Ken Yates utilize pastoral anecdotes, biblical principles, and Free Grace theology to address the legitimacy of children taking part in baptism and communion, especially in relation to questions of understanding, belief, works, and spiritual maturity.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Background of the Listener’s Question

• Julia has a 9-year-old son who "believes in Jesus for eternal life" and has been baptized. She seeks guidance about his participation in communion. (01:05)

2. Practices in Conservative Churches: Evidence and Age Requirements

• Anecdote: Shepherd’s Conference/Grace Community Church (John MacArthur’s church)
  • Youth pastors at Grace Community Church do not baptize children until they see enough "good works" as evidence of being born again, often tying this to having reached puberty. (01:29)
  • Example: A pastor baptized his 16-year-old daughter deemed "very godly," but withheld baptism from his 14-year-old son due to "insufficient evidence."
    • "He’d like to be baptized, but we aren't willing to baptize him because there's insufficient evidence." (02:12, Ken Yates)
• Bob Wilkin responds, “Wouldn't it be weird if this boy ends up hearing that his dad is saying I don't see the evidence? Wouldn't that be a bit frustrating?” (02:37, Bob Wilkin)

3. Application of the ‘Fruit Test’ to Adults and Children

• Other churches apply similar standards to adults:
  • Example from Southern Seminary: Hesitating to baptize adults, even if professing belief, if they haven’t shown a change in lifestyle (e.g., someone wrestling with homosexuality or lust) for a year or more. (03:24+, Bob Wilkin)
  • Ken Yates questions whether pastors should quiz new believers about their lifestyle before baptizing—he argues “no.” (04:38)

4. Grace-Oriented Approach to Baptism and Communion

• Sanctification is a process: The church gives new believers time to grow before any church discipline; repentance and holiness are expected long-term but are not prerequisites for baptism or communion. (04:57-06:13)
• Key Principle:
  • “The difference in a kid at least... is do they understand? That’s the difference. When you talk about a 9-year-old... if you believe he understands, ‘I have eternal life in Christ,’ I would say he can be baptized; he can take communion. Sure.” (06:49, Bob Wilkin)

5. Understanding vs. Belief in Children

• Ken Yates introduces the distinction (theological terms: noticia, assensus, fiducia):
  • Noticia: Understanding
  • Assensus: Assent/Belief
  • Fiducia: Faith/trust (repetitive, some theologians say unnecessary)
• Core Criteria:
  • “My problem is not whether they understand, it’s whether they believe... if the person says, ‘yeah, I believe in Jesus, I know I'm going to heaven,’ but they also believe in Santa Claus, they've not yet probably believed because they're just parroting back what they’ve heard.” (07:41-08:44, Ken Yates)

6. At What Age Can Children Genuinely Believe?

• According to Child Evangelism Fellowship, children make the leap from believing in fantasy to understanding reality around age 5, but it may range from 2–10 years old. (09:06-09:17)

7. Faith Alone—Assurance Versus Fruit

• Quoting dialogue with John MacArthur: If salvation is “an adult decision” or requires “making Jesus Lord,” it excludes children, but the Free Grace position says faith alone is sufficient. (09:41-10:25)
• Calvinist parents who withhold judgment on their children’s salvation until adulthood foster unnecessary doubt:
  • “We don't know if our boys... are born again... we don't see enough fruit yet.” (10:25, Yates recounting Calvinist parents)

8. Scriptural Position & Practical Application

• No biblical basis for restricting the Lord’s Supper or baptism based on age or visible fruit.
• Ken Yates: “I would be absolutely appalled by restricting communion or baptism to people who are over a certain age.” (11:33)
• Bob Wilkin: “The bottom line is if someone believes that they have eternal life by faith... you shouldn’t prohibit them from taking communion [or] baptism.” (11:44)

9. Distinguishing Church Leadership from Sacraments

• Eldership requires age and other qualifications, but baptism and communion do not.
  • “It’s one thing to say children can be baptized, they can take communion. It’s another thing to say children can be elders. No, they can't.” (12:01+, Ken Yates)
  • “You can’t make a whippersnapper an elder.” (12:38, Bob Wilkin)

10. Final Recommendation

• Bob Wilkin: “If your 9-year-old believes in Jesus Christ for eternal life, let him take Communion.” (12:52)
• Ken Yates: “Amen.” (12:58)

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Memorable Quotes & Timestamps

• "He’d like to be baptized, but we aren't willing to baptize him because there's insufficient evidence. And I thought, wow, wouldn't it be weird if this boy ends up hearing that his dad is saying I don't see the evidence. Wouldn't that be a bit frustrating?" (02:12–02:37, Ken Yates/Bob Wilkin)

• "Do we now quiz them about their lifestyle? And I say the answer is no." (04:38, Ken Yates)

• "The difference in a kid at least... is do they understand?... if you believe he understands, ‘I have eternal life in Christ,’ I would say he can be baptized, he can take communion, sure." (06:49, Bob Wilkin)

• "My problem is not whether they understand, it's whether they believe." (07:41, Ken Yates)

• "I would be absolutely appalled by restricting communion or baptism to people who are over a certain age." (11:33, Ken Yates)

• "If your 9-year-old believes in Jesus Christ for eternal life, let him take Communion." (12:52, Bob Wilkin)

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Notable Moments & Illustrations

• Personal stories from conferences and churches that impose fruit-based prerequisites for baptism.
• Discussion of children's cognitive development regarding fantasy and genuine faith.
• Nuanced critique of “fruit checking” before granting baptism/communion.
• Strong emphasis on the sufficiency of faith alone for participation in the sacraments—regardless of age or behavioral evidence.

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Listener question from Julia: 01:05
• Shepherd’s Conference/Grace Community Church anecdote: 01:29–03:05
• Adult baptism and lifestyle test discussion: 03:24–04:55
• Key principle—do they understand?: 06:49–07:41
• Distinguishing belief from parroting/age of belief: 07:41–09:17
• Misuse of fruit as assurance in Calvinism: 10:25–11:32
• Scriptural argument against age-based restrictions: 11:32–12:01
• Elders vs. baptism/communion: 12:01–12:41
• Conclusion & final answer: 12:52–12:59

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Summary

In this episode, Bob Wilkin and Ken Yates argue from a Free Grace perspective that the decisive factor in baptizing children or allowing them to partake in communion is their genuine belief in Jesus for eternal life, not their age, works, or ability to demonstrate "fruit." There is no biblical warrant for withholding these ordinances until a certain age or evidence threshold is met. Instead, elders and pastors are encouraged to avoid placing additional hurdles beyond saving faith, while reserving church leadership for more mature believers. The episode cautions against “fruit testing,” highlights the sufficiency of simple belief—even in children who truly understand—and offers reassurance for parents and churches seeking biblically grounded, grace-oriented guidance.

Transcript

[Bob Wilken]

The following is a listener supported ministry from the Grace Evangelical Society.

[Announcer]

How old should a child be before allowing them to participate in communion? Or maybe also before they should be baptized? Do we have to let children prove by their actions that they're really saved before we let them participate? Well, thank you for joining us today here on Grace in Focus. This is a ministry of the Grace Evangelical Society. Find [e-mail] and we also have a YouTube channel, YouTube Grace Evangelical Society, where we release short videos with free grace content. So we want you to subscribe and like them. And once again, you can find them at YouTube Grace Evangelical Society one more time on our website, faithalone.org and now with today's question and answer discussion, here are Bob Wilken and Ken Yates.

[Bob Wilken]

Bob, we have a question sent in from Julia. She says that she has a 9 year old and she says he believes in Jesus for eternal life.

[Ken Yates]

Right.

[Bob Wilken]

She was wondering what about him taking communion. She mentions that he has been baptized. But what do you think about these two different things?

[Ken Yates]

So Julia is asking basically about children partaking of communion.

[Bob Wilken]

Yeah. And I guess even though it doesn't say in the question, also should, in this case a nine year old who says, hey, I understand, I believe in Jesus for eternal life, should they be baptized?

[Ken Yates]

Okay. Well, I have a couple of anecdotes you might find interesting. Number one is back in around 2001, I think it was, I went to Southern California to what's called the Shepherd's Conference, which was at Grace community church. John MacArthur was one of the keynote speakers. And I heard various plenary sessions where there were about, I think 1500 people. It was a big conference. And then I heard breakout sessions. And in one of the breakout sessions I was with one of the youth pastors at Grace Community Church and there were maybe 50 of us in this breakout. And he was talking about children and what they did at Grace Community Church. And one of the things he said was we don't baptize children at Grace Community Church because we don't believe that children have manifested enough good works to, to indicate that they're born again. Besides, they haven't gone through puberty yet. Then he used his own daughter and son as examples. He said, I have a 16 year old daughter and she's very godly and you can see in her behavior that she's probably born again. So we've baptized her. But he said, I have a 14 year old son and I don't see the evidence. He said maybe he's born again. Maybe he's not, but we haven't baptized him yet. He'd like to be baptized, but we aren't willing to baptize him because there's insufficient evidence. And I thought, wow, wouldn't it be weird if this boy ends up hearing that his dad is saying I don't see the evidence. Wouldn't that be a bit frustrating?

[Bob Wilken]

Well, I'm sure that they told him, you know, when the boy says I want to be baptized. And you're right. And so I'm assuming the parents said, well, you're a knucklehead, you know, you're probably right.

[Ken Yates]

And by the way, he didn't bring up communion, but I assume the same would be true. Right. If you won't let him be baptized, I assume they tell them don't take communion too. Right? Wouldn't you think?

[Bob Wilken]

Yeah. I remember when I the army sent me to Southern Seminary and I mean there was a discussion there over this issue and I remember at least some of the guys there saying, I'm talking about some of the profs taking the view that even older people that someone who comes and I'm talking like a 20 year old, right, who says, hey, I believe. And specifically they were talking about what if they're a homosexual and they believe you can't baptize them until they've been in the faith long enough to see if they're going to reject that lifestyle. Same idea, it's just older. But they were talking about that particular sin, which I found kind of interesting because okay, so someone comes and says, listen, I'm a homosexual, but I believed in Jesus for eternal life. If I say to them, well, I'm not sure we're going to give you a year to see if you have left these homosexual lusts and tendencies behind. Well, what about the 20 year old who's looking at porn? So let's say a 20 year old comes to the church and says, hey, I believe. And they go, well you listen, you're a 20 year old guy, you've been an unbeliever for all these years. You're probably got temptations with this lust. So we're going to wait for a year to see how you do.

[Ken Yates]

Well, do we quiz them and say are you sexually active? Right. And you know, this is a good question. If someone comes to your church and they come to faith and they say, pastor, I've come to faith, I'd like to be baptized, do we now quiz them about their lifestyle? And I say the answer is no.

[Bob Wilken]

And that was my Point.

[Ken Yates]

And by the way, if you have a person in the church, whether they're heterosexual or homosexual, if they're sexually active and they're in your church, don't we have to give them at least some time to grow before we exercise church discipline? I mean, it seems to me if you had a heterosexual or homosexual that was in your church and they came to faith, you would give them a certain amount of time. You wouldn't say instantly, okay, you're sleeping with a girl that's not your spouse. So guy, you got to get out of the church. You're excommunicated until you turn from that.

[Bob Wilken]

Right. We're not going to baptize you until you pass this test.

[Ken Yates]

And not only we're not going to baptize you, you can't even come to church, partake of commun. You can't do anything. We wouldn't do that. Right, right. And we shouldn't do that with homosexual either. But let's say the person comes into the church and they're sleeping around. Some guy that's heterosexual, he's sleeping around and you teach him that that's wrong and he continues to do it. Eventually, aren't you going to. By eventually, I would say you would first meet with them individually and then bring them before the elder board. And then you would say, okay, you're no longer welcome in this church until you repent.

[Announcer]

Just jumping in here to make you aware of our magazine, Grace in Focus. It is a bi monthly, six issues per year, 48 page magazine, full color. And we want you to subscribe by emailing your name and your snail mail address to gesaithalone.org the subscription is free. It can be accessed electronically or it can be actually physically sent to you. If you live in the lower 48 United States. That's our Grayson Focus magazine. Send your name and snail mail address to gesaithalone.org Wouldn't that happen at some point?

[Bob Wilken]

Sure. I think the, you know, we're making a comparison here with a 20 year old and a child, let's say a 10 year old. In this case, Julia is talking about a nine year old. It seems to me, I don't know if you agree with this or not, but it seems to me that the, the difference in a kid at least is my experience, you know, I've been involved in churches for a long time is do they understand that's the difference. When you talk about a nine year old now, Julia says he understands. Okay? So if you believe he understands, I have eternal life In Christ, I would say he can be baptized, he can take communion, sure. But I think the more common thing that you hear from parents is I'm not really sure they understand. Maybe they, maybe they want to be baptized because their brother was baptized.

[Ken Yates]

Here's the issue. The issue to me is not understanding. The issue is believing. So as you know, the noticia sensus fiducia noticia is understanding. A census is basically believing or assenting. And then fiducia is just repetitive. It's another name for believing. So who wrote Faith and Saving Faith? That was Gordon Clark.

[Bob Wilken]

Right.

[Ken Yates]

And he says in there that once you understand and accept something, you believe it.

[Bob Wilken]

Right.

[Ken Yates]

And that the fiducia is just repetitive. And he said that's adding on a layer that shouldn't be there. And I think he's absolutely right. So my point would be, with a nine year old, my problem is not whether they understand, it's whether they believe. I've heard two year olds that can say, Jesus died on the cross for my sins and he rose bodily from the dead and I believe in him and I know I'm going to heaven when I die. Well, does that two year old believe that or is this like the two year old saying, and I believe the tooth fairy is going to leave me a dollar.

[Bob Wilken]

Right.

[Ken Yates]

And I believe that Santa Claus is going to bring some gifts. What happens is, and this is what the Child Evangelism Fellowship people tell me, a child shifts between believing that fantasies are true and, and recognizing fantasies aren't true. And once they get to that point, they're now able to believe in Jesus foreverlasting.

[Bob Wilken]

I'm kind of curious, do they say that that age is different for different kids or do they say for most kids it's like at age what, seven?

[Ken Yates]

They say it's, for most kids it's around five.

[Bob Wilken]

Around five. Okay.

[Ken Yates]

But it can be anywhere from. Some would say 5 to 10, some would say as young as 2 or 3 to 10. But whatever it is, if the person says, yeah, I believe in Jesus, I know I'm going to heaven. But they also believe in Santa Claus and everything else they've not yet probably believed because they're just parroting back what they've heard.

[Bob Wilken]

Right.

[Ken Yates]

And so, but let's say that the nine year old believes then. Yeah, baptize them. Let him take communion. Let me give a couple other quick illustrations. I was talking to Dr. Mark Bailey one time before he was the president at Dallas Seminary. And he said he Talked to John MacArthur one time and says, does my 6 year old boy need to make Jesus lord of his toys to be saved. And he said no. And so he said, I think John was saying, you know, it's just by faith. But then MacArthur was also in Kansas City one time and he made this statement, salvation is an adult decision. And of course if you believe that salvation is a decision, I need to decide to turn from my sins, make.

[Bob Wilken]

Jesus, Lord of my life, make Jesus.

[Ken Yates]

Lord of life, follow him, him to write the subtitle of the Gospel According to Jesus. At least some of the additions is what did Jesus mean when he said, follow me? If you say following Jesus is the condition, well then you're going to say that's an adult decision. And I remember being in Paris, Texas. I preached at Paris Bible church back in 85. I was with a couple in the afternoon and they were five point Calvinists and they had boys that were like 12 and 11. And they said, we don't know if our boys, in front of the boys they said, we don't know if these boys are born again or not. We don't see enough fruit yet. But we're going to watch them and when they go off on their own, then we'll be able to look and we'll be more confident that they're born again. And I'm thinking, man, people who grow up under that, that's really a mess. So in answer to Julia's question, I would say, look, if we're not willing to baptize children, there's a disconnect here, Right. If we're not willing to let children partake of communion, there's a disconnect here. We're ultimately saying we doubt they're born again. Is there anything in scripture that says a born again person can't take the Lord's supper until they're 21?

[Bob Wilken]

Until we've seen enough fruit?

[Ken Yates]

No, there's not. So I would be absolutely appalled by restricting communion or baptism to people who are over a certain age.

[Bob Wilken]

Right? Yeah. The bottom line is if someone believes that they have eternal life by faith and they are apart from works, whether he's nine in this case or 10 or whatever the case may be, no, you can't prohibit them from, or you shouldn't prohibit them from taking communion.

[Ken Yates]

And the same thing with baptism.

[Bob Wilken]

Sure.

[Ken Yates]

Now you can, there's a whole other subject. But in my opinion, elders can't be female number one and elders can't be under the age that is an elder. So I would never make a 20 or 25 or 30 year old man an elder because he's not an elder yet. Timothy is called Anaiskos in Paul's Epistles, and that's a young man and most people say he was around 35 there. He was not yet a prisbuderos. He was not yet an elder. So it's one thing to say children can be baptized, they can take communion. It's another thing to say children can be elders. No they can't.

[Bob Wilken]

You can't make a whippersnapper an elder.

[Ken Yates]

No you cannot. You ought to make someone who's got children and they're obedient, etc. But that's a whole other subject. So I'm sorry for going off on a tangent.

[Bob Wilken]

Well, thanks for the question, Julia. We hope that helped. If your 9 year old believes in Jesus Christ for eternal life, let him take Communion.

[Ken Yates]

Amen.

[Bob Wilken]

That's it. And remember, Keep Grace in Focus.

[Announcer]

We invite you to check out our Monday, Wednesday and Friday five minute YouTube videos at YouTube Grace Evangelical Society. You will love the content and learn a lot. There are a lot of costs involved in staying on the air. That's why we so much appreciate our financial partners. If you'd like to learn how to become one, you can find out more by going to faithalone.org on our next episode. How many chances do you get to believe for eternal salvation? Come back and join us. And until then, let's go. Keep grace in focus.

[Bob Wilken]

The proceeding has been a listener supported ministry from the Grace Evangelical Society.