Ashley Roberts: How I Built a Life That Works For Me

Summary

Episode Overview

Podcast: Great Company with Jamie Laing
Guest: Ashley Roberts
Episode Title: Ashley Roberts: How I Built a Life That Works For Me
Release Date: June 14, 2026

This episode features an inspiring and candid conversation between host Jamie Laing and singer, television personality, and former Pussycat Doll, Ashley Roberts. The episode is a highlight reel (“Great Moments”) focusing on Ashley's personal journey towards self-awareness, overcoming emotional challenges, building authentic relationships, and redefining what success and happiness mean—on her own terms. The dialogue is filled with vulnerability, humor, and practical wisdom, offering listeners both heartfelt stories and actionable insights about mental health, positivity, relationships, and personal growth.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Embracing Vulnerability & Emotional Growth

• Therapy & Self-Discovery

  • Jamie shares his own breakthrough starting therapy at 27, expecting adulthood to bring clarity, but instead realizing everyone is improvising.
  • Quote (Jamie, 03:31):

    “Everyone is guessing. Everyone doesn’t really know what’s going on. This is everyone’s first. No one’s had a dress rehearsal.”

  • Ashley echoes the sentiment, referencing “fake it till you make it” and the importance of trying new things to manage stress and anxiety (Ashley, 03:41).

• Positivity as Defense

  • Jamie questions if positivity is a coping or defense mechanism (04:08), admitting to resisting negativity in relationships.
  • Ashley points to the need for balance, noting that excessive positivity can be as limiting as excessive negativity.
  • Quote (Ashley, 05:38):

    “Being positive is a great thing, right? But too much of anything is probably too much.”

• Confronting Difficult Emotions

  • Ashley references a study where most people would prefer an electric shock to sitting with their own emotions (05:10).
  • Jamie and Ashley agree that learning to share pain or vulnerability brings relief and authentic connections (06:02).

Authenticity and Self-Acceptance

• The Power of Openness
  • Jamie reveals that talking about his “darker times” allowed others to see him more fully.
  • Ashley credits vulnerability—both hers and Jamie’s—for inspiring her to share more honestly in her forthcoming book.
  • Quote (Ashley, 06:13):

    “I was in the midst of writing this book and I was like, okay, like, it’s time. It’s time to sort of be a full human. Right. Because we’re not all just one thing.”

Redefining Life’s Milestones

• Deciding Not to Have Children

  • Jamie raises the societal pressure on women about motherhood (07:23), which Ashley addresses with candid honesty.
  • Ashley says she never prioritized having kids or marriage—even as a child—and that hasn’t changed as she’s grown older (07:36).
  • They discuss social expectations and the discomfort people express when women say they don’t want kids (08:25).
  • Quote (Ashley, 08:52):

    “I told you I was gonna break the cycle… I could have, like, a load of dogs and be in heaven… just have a fur family and be so all right with that.”

• Living for Travel, Not Tradition

  • Ashley jokes that travel is her “love language” (09:31), and Jamie notes that many people secretly agree with her.
  • Quote (Ashley, 09:31):

    “I spent all my money on traveling because that’s what I love to do. And I can do it. Cause I don’t have kids.”

Building Healthy Relationships

• Loving and Being Loved

  • Jamie asks what Ashley is like in a relationship and what authentic love feels like (10:10).
  • Ashley describes her current relationship as “consistent, kind, thoughtful, romantic”—attributes she credits to her own inner growth.
  • Quote (Ashley, 10:31):

    “There’s just been a shift… when you have a shift in perspective, how you operate in life then shows up differently.”

• Choosing Calm over Chaos

  • Ashley laughs about the allure of “red flags” and dramatic romance, but highlights the maturity in valuing consistency and emotional safety (11:32–12:24).
  • Jamie reflects that stillness in a relationship can feel “boring” to some only because chaos feels familiar, when in truth, calm is what most need.

• Age Differences & Relationship Norms

  • Ashley openly shares her partner is 17 years younger (13:08), challenging societal double standards.
  • Quote (Ashley, 13:19):

    “I've dated loads of guys my age and older and they be acting like 13 year olds… emotional intelligence is like of a five year old.”

• Qualities That Matter

  • For Ashley: humor, playfulness, acceptance, and non-judgment are critical in a partner (13:45).

• Advice for Listeners in Stuck Relationships

  • Ashley emphasizes bravery—sometimes walking away is hardest, but necessary if your gut knows it’s right.
  • Quote (Ashley, 14:36):

    “If you can find that courage, that bravery within you, listen to that… come on, this is such a gift that we’re here. How do you want to spend it?”

Bravery and Personal Achievement

• Facing Fears & Following Passions
  • Ashley shares that writing her book is her bravest, proudest feat (15:43), requiring both openness and perseverance.
  • She encourages everyone to “feel the fear and do it anyways,” trusting that showing up brings lessons and opportunities.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Everyone is guessing. Everyone doesn’t really know what’s going on. This is everyone’s first. No one’s had a dress rehearsal.”
  — Jamie Laing (03:31)

• “Being positive is a great thing, right? But too much of anything is probably too much.”
  — Ashley Roberts (05:38)

• “I spent all my money on traveling because that’s what I love to do. And I can do it. Cause I don’t have kids.”
  — Ashley Roberts (09:31)

• “There’s just been a shift… when you have a shift in perspective, how you operate in life then shows up differently.”
  — Ashley Roberts (10:31)

• “If you can find that courage, that bravery within you, listen to that… this is such a gift that we’re here. How do you want to spend it?”
  — Ashley Roberts (14:36)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [03:23–05:38] — Therapy, emotional honesty, and breaking the myth of adulthood’s “secrets”
• [08:18–09:47] — Societal pressures on women, motherhood, and alternative definitions of family
• [10:13–13:19] — Lessons from relationships, self-work, age differences, and what “real love” feels like
• [14:26–15:24] — Advice for ending stuck relationships and the importance of bravery
• [15:26–16:50] — Personal achievements, new creative projects, and embracing vulnerability

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Conclusion

Ashley Roberts’ chat with Jamie Laing is a refreshing blend of humor, wisdom, and honest self-reflection. The episode’s core message is about designing a life that truly works for you—embracing your own desires, building healthy relationships, facing fears, and finding joy in the journey, not just the milestones. Whether you’re wrestling with your purpose, struggling in a relationship, or simply searching for authentic inspiration, Ashley and Jamie’s conversation delivers practical encouragement and real talk with a big heart.

Transcript

[Ashley Roberts]

Par le tu francais hablas espanol?

[Jamie Lang]

Par le italiano.

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[Pablo Torre]

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[Jack Myers or Tim Spengler]

what makes a leader worth following? What should you really care about in your job? As technology is changing, so is it just gonna be about machines talking to other machines? I mean, should you quit your job and start something on your own? What would that take? What does success and risk look like when we're all at the starting gate together? These are the questions we answer each week on Lead Human with Jack Myers and Tim Spengler. Join us each week and subscribe at your favorite podcast platform and YouTube. We'll tell stories, we'll hear from some of the best, and we'll try to figure this out together.

[Jamie Lang]

Hello everyone, I'm Jamie Lang and this is great moments

[Pablo Torre]

guys.

[Jamie Lang]

Welcome back to Another episode of Great Moments. Hope you're having a good day. Now we are looking back at my conversation with the incredible Ashley Roberts. Now, Ashley was a joy to talk to. She was a Pussycat doll. She's funny, honest, open, and I learned so much about her during our chat. Now, we've picked one of my favorite moments to share with you. And if you like this, you'd love the full episode. Okay. You can find that in the show notes, so just go and click on that. Okay, so enjoy this. Great moments with Ashley Roberts. I started doing therapy when I was about 27 years old, and I suddenly started to realize, like, a lot of things. Like, I thought I was going to get to the age of, like, 30 and someone's gonna open a door and go, come in here. Here are all the secrets. And I was like, brilliant.

[Ashley Roberts]

I can't wait for that.

[Jamie Lang]

Yeah, I can't wait to find that out. And then 30 years, I was like, fuck.

[Ashley Roberts]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lang]

Everyone is guessing. Everyone doesn't really know what's going on. This is everyone's first. This.

[Babbel Advertiser]

Everyone.

[Jamie Lang]

No one's had a dress rehearsal.

[Ashley Roberts]

No, I know.

[Pablo Torre]

This is it.

[Jamie Lang]

This is. This is it.

[Ashley Roberts]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lang]

I mean, that was a scary moment.

[Ashley Roberts]

I think riri said, like, fake it till you make it. Like, it's just. And it is. It's such a sort of cheesy line, but it's true. Like, none of us have it figured out. We're all trying. But at least I think, again, like, with doing this book and sharing it is, I. I want people to be open to trying new things that could help them feel better and help calm down, you know, because anybody, even if you don't have high stress levels and a lot of anxiety, like, this kind of stuff will help you just feel good.

[Jamie Lang]

Do you think being positive is a coping mechanism or a defense mechanism?

[Ashley Roberts]

Oh, that's a good. Might be a bit of both, you

[Jamie Lang]

know, because I have that as well. I love the. I love being positive. I really like that. And when actually, when I had this in relationships in the past, when I was in relationships and people were being negative, I didn't. Like, I couldn't handle it. Couldn't. I can't handle that. Can't handle that. Don't bring that in here. And that wasn't so good. So it wouldn't allow other people to express their emotions in a relationship that well, because I didn't.

[Ashley Roberts]

The space.

[Jamie Lang]

I didn't want that space.

[Ashley Roberts]

Okay.

[Jamie Lang]

I'd rather deny that.

[Ashley Roberts]

Interesting. Not like, you mean even at all. Like, at All.

[Jamie Lang]

Yeah.

[Ashley Roberts]

Oh, wow.

[Jamie Lang]

I never, ever liked it. I never liked it.

[Ashley Roberts]

Interesting. I wonder what that.

[Jamie Lang]

And so then I. When I started doing therapy, I started to understand, like, how you can open up and understand these different emotions. And then I was. I started to be able to accept.

[Ashley Roberts]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lang]

Negative emotion and realizing that actually being positive all the time is. You don't have to be that. You don't have to be all this height and stuff the time. But actually being still and feeling the emotions is a good thing.

[Ashley Roberts]

Yeah. There was this study, actually, that, like, there was a high percentage of people that would rather get electric shock than sit with their own emotions.

[Jamie Lang]

What?

[Ashley Roberts]

Yeah, I mean, and the percentage was, like, extremely high. So I think that just goes to show. Yeah. I mean, you know, it's not necessarily fun, but that's sort of how you get through. Through it on the other side and get growth and evolution within yourself. Being positive is a great thing, right?

[Jamie Lang]

Totally.

[Ashley Roberts]

But. But too much of anything is probably too much.

[Jamie Lang]

Do you know, when I. When I spoke about my darker times, which I never had done really before, and I'd opened up about, like, the way that I felt and things like that, it was so good to share because it made everyone perceive me differently and they. They realized that there were. There were different sides to it.

[Ashley Roberts]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lang]

And I almost feel like this book that you're doing is going to do that for you as well, where you show every side of yourself and that authenticity that is coming out is. That is what's powerful.

[Ashley Roberts]

Well, you know, I feel like it's interesting, you and I. Right. Because like you said, when you see me, I give off light. And you're the same way. Like, when you're in that. When I come into your presence, I know I'm going to get, like, a burst of joy. But also, you were very inspiring to me, going on that run and being vulnerable within that. I'm serious. Because I was like, look, like, wow, like, he's really opening up right now. And I was in the midst of writing this book and I was like, okay, like, it's time. It's time to sort of be a full human. Right. Because we're not all just one thing. We're so complex. And. Yeah, I feel like there's. I feel like I'm kind of maybe growing up a bit as well, just to be able to share all this. But you were a big inspiration for me during that, so. And look at. And the thing is, is I still look at you as this big ball of joy, you know, even though Same to you. You know what I mean? So you haven't lost that. That sparkle, if anything, is probably brighter and reaching more people.

[Jamie Lang]

Dude, this is a really annoying question. I actually kind of hate it when people ask these things. But I'm going to ask you because. Well, because I think it only because I'm on that path and I've heard you speak about it. We always talk about.

[Stamps.com Advertiser]

With.

[Jamie Lang]

There's this silly analogy that people talk about where women get concerned when they would think about having kids right as they start to get older. Would you at some point want to have kids?

[Ashley Roberts]

Well, I do open up a bit about this in the book. It has really never been a priority to me. Even as a young kid, I told my mom, I'm like, I don't think I want kids. I don't really care if I get married. It wasn't like I was the girl planning the wedding and seeing the whole, you know, white picket fence and all that, so. And I kind of kept thinking, well, maybe when I get older, that will shift. And I'm like, hasn't really shifted. So again, I mean, who knows? We, you know, every day I think we gotta allow ourselves to exist in the possibility of waking up the next day and feeling different. Although, you know, as a woman, we've got our biological clock. But again, going back to.

[Jamie Lang]

But isn't it funny just quickly, that it's so interesting that when. Because it's so funny, there's weird. There's certain things in life which I find bizarre.

[Ashley Roberts]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lang]

If you said to me, do you drink? And I went, no, I don't drink. Especially in English culture. They go, huh?

[Ashley Roberts]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lang]

And I'm not a murderer. I just, like. I just don't drink. And I think it's sort of the same in life with kids. When someone says, do you want to have kids? And you go, well, I don't. People tend to go, huh, What?

[Ashley Roberts]

I know, right?

[Jamie Lang]

Well, but you're meant to. That's what you're meant to do is. And actually, there's no right or wrong way to do life.

[Ashley Roberts]

I mean, I'm gonna say two things. One, I told you I was gonna break the cycle, so there's that. Two, I love fluffy babies. I mean, like, I could have, like, a load of dogs and be in heaven. So I think I might just have a little fur family and be so all right with that. I mean, and that's how I feel now. Who knows later, down the road is 20, 25. There's all kinds of ways, but that you Know that I could just have a fur family and be like, happy as a pig. And you know what?

[Jamie Lang]

Pig and shit.

[Ashley Roberts]

Pig and shit.

[Jamie Lang]

I heard that you said there was once you said, I want to spend my money on traveling because that's my love language.

[Ashley Roberts]

That's my love language. Oh, my God. Get me on paper like you're always on a plane. I was like, yeah, I don't have kids. I spent all my money on traveling because that's what I love to do. And I can do it. Cause I don't have kids. Shimmy shake to me.

[Jamie Lang]

And do you know what? I swear to God, so many people, so many people, whether they want to agree with you or not, are going, fuck, she's right. She's freaking, right? Yeah. 100%. 100%.

[Ashley Roberts]

I want to have a margarita with a little cute, you know, man coming over and serving it to me. Sounds fabulous. I don't have to go to the kiddie pool.

[Jamie Lang]

What do you like in a relationship?

[Ashley Roberts]

Ooh, ah.

[Jamie Lang]

What do you like when you're in love?

[Ashley Roberts]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, you know, there's been many areas of love, but I think that this current one I'm in is quite nice. It's consistent, it's kind, it's thoughtful, it's romantic. It's. It's my nervous system. And honestly, I swear to you, Jamie, it's because I've been doing this work.

[Jamie Lang]

Get out of here.

[Ashley Roberts]

I swear, because there's just been a shift. Even my, My friends, my closest friends, I said, you know, I've got my close circle. Like they were like ash. Like you're different. Like something's different. And when you again have a shift in perspective, right. How you operate in life then shows up differently. And that sort of.

[Jamie Lang]

Because you can react differently. You, you, you, you process things differently.

[Ashley Roberts]

Self awareness of. I mean, also that, you know, I've gotten older, but my boyfriend's, you know, younger than me. And I was like, first of all, I was like, no, we'll have, you know, this is fun, but like, not going to go anywhere serious. But actually the kind of human that he is. I was like, oh, that like my nervous system around you is really calm. Wow, you're consistent, transparent, just a beautiful human. And I was like, I want to, I want to lean into that instead of the other relationships that sparked up something that was probably what was more familiar to me as considered love, you know?

[Jamie Lang]

Did you find in some relate. When relationships seem to be hectic and chaotic and dramatic and bari and oh, that you're like, oh, that. This is what it should be like. This is what a relationship should be like.

[Ashley Roberts]

Oh, yeah. All the chemicals be going off, the bells, the whistles, and you're like, just rouge flags flowing all over the place. But you cute, you cute.

[Jamie Lang]

Waving that red flag. You're like, come on.

[Ashley Roberts]

Doing a parade down the street. And I'm like, yes, you, you. Let's do this.

[Jamie Lang]

It's all right. Because then when things are like, when someone turns up and they're kind and it feels more still, that doesn't feel as exciting. But that is because the way that sometimes our brains work, that calmness and stillness feels boring. But that is what we should be after.

[Ashley Roberts]

Yeah, but in a sense, it's not boring because we laugh and we have a good time and we're creative together and there's so many other beautiful nuggets that come with it. So.

[Stamps.com Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Ashley Roberts]

And I honestly am like, when I did lean into him, it's like, well, you know, not physically or maybe physically, you know, all the leans, I patted myself on the back because I was like, during it.

[Jamie Lang]

You went, yeah. I was like, that was good.

[Stamps.com Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Ashley Roberts]

Like it?

[AT&T Business Wireless Advertiser]

You like it?

[Ashley Roberts]

I like it. We like it. And I was like, yes, chica, you bet. You're choosing new things. We liked it.

[Jamie Lang]

How much younger is he than you?

[Pablo Torre]

Come on.

[Ashley Roberts]

He's 17 years younger than me.

[Jamie Lang]

Let's go, let's go.

[Ashley Roberts]

But look at Bradley Cooper and Gigi Hadid. 20 years. Nobody, nobody even like bats an eye there.

[Jamie Lang]

You think I give a shit? I don't. I think it's freaking great.

[Ashley Roberts]

I, in the beginning was a bit like, oh, I don't know about this, but again, it was like the kind of person and human that he is. Where I was like, I'm. I've dated loads of guys my age and older and they be acting like 13 year olds. Completely emotional intelligence is like of a five year old. So, wow.

[Jamie Lang]

What do you, what do you look for in a relationship? So what do you look for in a person?

[Ashley Roberts]

Again, like, you know, you. We want to have a good laugh. I think that's super important. You want to have fun.

[Jamie Lang]

You're so funny. You are so funny.

[Ashley Roberts]

You are so funny. The two of you, too. I mean, I just can't. I love you guys so much. Yeah, it's having that playfulness, having a laugh again. Knowing that you're not going to be judged for how you dress or how you operate in the world or, you know, just being. Being able to be yourself and be fully Accepted of that is. Is an awesome space to exist in.

[Jamie Lang]

And if someone's listening right to this and they are maybe in a relationship that they.

[Jam Jamil]

No.

[Jamie Lang]

Isn't right, but they feel stuck. How do you get out of that?

[Ashley Roberts]

Well, listen, I'm not, you know, a life coach over here.

[Jack Myers or Tim Spengler]

That's.

[Ashley Roberts]

That's a. Like, you are to you.

[Jamie Lang]

Yeah, I feel like you are.

[Ashley Roberts]

I mean, you know, sometimes we gotta do brave things. Like, let me tell you, some of the relationships that I left were not easy ones to walk away from, but I. I knew in my gut it was what was needed to be done, and it was tough getting on the other side, but thank God that I did, you know? And I think if you can find that courage, that bravery within you, listen to that act, you know that it's not right for you, right? And, like, come on, like, this is. This is such a gift that we're here. Like, how do you want to spend it? And I know we cause a lot of chaos ourselves, so having someone by your side that makes you feel better is. Is important. There's a lot going on. You know, we need. We need a good ride or die. Partner in crime.

[Jamie Lang]

What is the bravest thing you've done?

[Ashley Roberts]

Oh, gosh, you know, I done a lot of interesting things. I mean, you talk about, like. I mean, I've danced with snakes, and I'm. I'm so fearful of those things that. That felt pretty brave.

[Pablo Torre]

Deeply.

[Jamie Lang]

What is it. What is the thing that you are just the most proud of yourself? You're like, yeah. Is it this book?

[Babbel Advertiser]

You think?

[Ashley Roberts]

I was gonna say, currently, it's definitely this book. I mean, honestly, even though it's, like. It's ironic, because even as I'm talking about something that brings me so much peace and joy and comfort, and it's caused me a lot of, like. Of anxiety and stress because I'm opening up about things that I haven't spoken about, and I'm also putting myself out there, like. But the passion overrides that so much, so I'm like, all right, chica, you just got to do this. And this is the thing. Like you said, none of us have it figured out. We're all just. We're all just trying, you know, and so putting one foot in front of the other, trusting the process, and just showing up anyways, even when you feel a bit like, oh, I'm not quite sure if I could do this, something, you always get something out of it. There's always a lesson. There's always maybe someone you meet. There's an opportunity that might come in that wouldn't before by, you know, just taking that step. Feel a fear and do it anyways.

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[Pablo Torre]

Hey, Pablo Torre here. As a sports journalist, I've covered global sports for many years now and there is one thing that I can promise you. Nothing compares to the World cup. And this time it is even better. Thanks to McDonald's, you have the chance to take home one of nine legendary cups when you order the FIFA World cup meal. The Cups feature some of the biggest legends in football like David Beckham, Thierry Henry and Ronaldinho, Christian Pulisic, Lamine Yamal and Alfonso Davies. Right now, get one of nine legendary Cups when you order the FIFA World cup meal only at McDonald's at participating McDonald's only for a limited time while supplies last. All rights reserved. Copyright 2026 McDonald's at the FIFA World Cup 2026

[Jamie Lang]

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[Jam Jamil]

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[Ashley Roberts]

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[Jam Jamil]

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[Jamie Lang]

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