CHRIS OLSEN: “It’s Rehab or You Lose Us” - My Family Made Me Choose

Summary

Great Company with Jamie Laing
Episode Title: Chris Olsen: “It’s Rehab or You Lose Us” – My Family Made Me Choose
Air Date: February 25, 2026
Host: Jamie Laing
Guest: Chris Olsen

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Episode Overview

This episode features social media star Chris Olsen in a deeply candid and engaging conversation about resilience, family, sobriety, social media success, and personal growth. Chris opens up about his struggles with addiction, his family's intervention, rehab experiences, and the challenges of maintaining self-worth in a digital age. The conversation moves between vulnerable self-reflection and laughter, offering inspiration and insight for anyone navigating personal challenges or the world of online visibility.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Chris’s Experience of Family, Addiction, and Intervention

• Idyllic Childhood, Sudden Upheaval
  • Chris describes his early years as "almost idyllic," with a close-knit family—until his mother's alcoholism began to surface, leading to family distress.

    “My childhood felt idyllic. It felt like everything was good and then it was all just taken away very quickly.” (00:00)

• His Mother’s Struggle with Alcoholism
  • The turning point came when his mother confessed to being an alcoholic during a car ride. Chris shares confusion and empathy for both of them in that intense moment.

    “She just started crying to me and saying that she was an alcoholic. And I had no idea that that was in the cards.” (25:12)

• Therapy and Disconnection at Home
  • The fallout led Chris into therapy, feeling as though he was being “fixed” for the family’s problems. He paints a picture of deep family pain, with nobody openly communicating.

    “I think they're putting me in here because they think fixing my problems will fix theirs.” (29:38)

• His Own Descent into Alcoholism and Intervention
  • Chris reflects on how his drinking began in his teens and escalated in boarding school and college.
  • He recounts the day of his own intervention—an emotionally charged family meeting where he was given a choice: accept rehab or be cut off completely.

    “If I didn't go that day… I would be cut off from the entire family.” (00:00) “It got to my sister, and she started sobbing and she was just like, please don't make dad read his letter. I, like, always get emotional when I talk about this specific conversation.” (00:12 / 41:30)

2. Rehab Experience and Lessons Learned

• Shame-Based Rehab
  • Chris describes rehab as strict, rule-bound, and steeped in tough love—emphasizing radical acceptance and resilience:

    “The rehab was also very shame based… It was very much under the ideation that you had ruined everything in your life and it was your job to make it better.” (20:03)

• Validation-Seeking and Lingering Effects
  • He admits that after a year in such an environment, his need for validation intensified, spilling over into social media and his public persona:

    “I leave rehab seeking validation, of course… I just desperately wanted to be validated because I was like, I did so much work. Why isn't anyone telling me to.” (52:37)

3. Self-Discovery, Relationships, and Love

• Relearning How to Be Alone
  • Chris explains how he learned to live alone, distinguishing between loneliness and being comfortable with himself.
  • His past relationship (publicly documented on social) taught him to value self-worth over validation or financial stability.

    “I have to be okay with me before anything else falls into place, because it won't fall into place that way.” (17:14)

• Finding Love in London
  • Newly based in the UK part-time, Chris shares his experience entering a healthy relationship—meeting his boyfriend Harrison on a workout date, experiencing slow-burning affection, and his need for words of affirmation.

    “I am this silly little tiktoker, and this guy has a real job, so he must be having fun talking to me, because I'm like the most unhinged person he's ever met.” (11:00)

• How Love Changes Over Time
  • Chris reflects on how his “addictive personality” once manifested as obsession over people or infatuation, and how he’s now learned to differentiate true affection from unhealthy attachment.

    “When I was a kid or a teenager… being obsessed with someone. And now I think I look back and realize that was infatuation… Now he became part of the stability rather than filled in a gap that needed to be filled.” (12:26 / 14:00)

4. Social Media, Fame, and Handling Criticism

• Building an Online Platform
  • Chris discusses his meteoric rise on TikTok (over 20 million followers) and the importance of authenticity, creativity, and being willing to look “cringe.”

    “There are certain times I look at my main page on TikTok and I see the 13 million and I'm just like, when did that happen?” (53:19)

• Advice for Content Creators
  • For aspiring social stars, Chris offers: Focus on something you actually care about, experiment, follow the data, and embrace embarrassment as a pathway to creativity.

    “Being a little bit cringe is the way to try anything.” (56:11)

• Navigating Hate and Jealousy
  • Chris and Jamie discuss the vitriol on social media, especially as success grows. Chris's new perspective: Haters and negative comments are indicators of broadening reach and should be met with curiosity rather than pain:

    “If I’m really honest with myself, it is a marker of success.” (62:26)
    “If all of these people are talking about me, I must be doing something right… and it's not up to me to fix that, because I can't and I never will be able to.” (63:13)

• Most Memorable Online Experiences
  • Notable stories include delivering coffee to stars (Flying for Coffee series), and specific hate after the Golden Globes causing both breakdown and realization.

    “One of the strongest opinions here is anger about me after the Golden Globes… the top five comments were about being angry at me that I was there.” (00:33 / 61:58)

5. Reflections on Self-Worth, Vulnerability, and Family Healing

• Caring for Others
  • Chris credits his heart and compassion for others as what he likes most about himself, shaped by hardship and family pain.

    “My heart and my care for other people and how I always just really want to make other people feel good.” (71:08)

• Candid About Mental Health
  • He is open about depression in his teens, therapy, and moments of validation and joy—finding solace both in solitude and connection.

    “It just became a very lonely place to be, which I think was maybe the first time I learned to be okay with myself alone, but not in a way that I was happy with myself alone.” (31:25)

• The Power and Cost of Family Interventions
  • Chris acknowledges the intervention as the ultimate act of love, despite the pain:

    “I think it is a very hard position to be in for a family… cutting someone off doesn't really feel like love... But somewhere in my head, I knew this was love and that this was them doing this because they wanted me to stay a part of their life.” (46:29 / 47:20)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On childhood and trauma:

  “I look back on my childhood with so much love. It was a perfect childhood… and then around my teen years, everything changed out of nowhere.” (21:35 / 24:22)

• On rehab’s harshness:

  “If you threatened to leave but then didn’t, you had to pack your bags and then walk around with them everywhere because you needed to feel the weight of what leaving felt like.” (49:54)

• On the role of embarrassment in creativity:

  “Embarrassing yourself and being a little bit cringe is the way to try anything.” (56:11)

• On handling social media hate:

  “My crime is being annoying. And you’re saying, get me away from them because what. What’s gonna happen? They’re gonna become annoying? They’re gonna catch it from me?” (60:40)

• On family support as tough love:

  “I almost, like weirdly… am envious of you, because in my 20s… my drinking was so out of control… I wish our families stepped in.” – Jamie Laing (46:29)

• On what scares him most:

  “Sometimes it can be my level of self-awareness, because I’m so tapped into my perception.” (68:44)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:00–02:32 – Chris recounts his intervention, family ultimatum, and emotional impact
• 05:03–12:13 – Chris’s life in London, dating, and relationship with Harrison
• 12:26–15:20 – Evolving relationship with love, need vs. enhancement in partnership
• 17:14–20:03 – Navigating breakups, self-worth, and fear of losing online/income status
• 20:03–21:26 – Rehab experience: “the lowest I want to go”
• 24:22–31:25 – Mother’s alcoholism, therapy, and Chris’s depression as a teen
• 41:30–46:29 – Day of the intervention, letters from family, and decision to accept rehab
• 49:07–52:37 – How rehab’s shame culture fueled Chris’s need for validation
• 53:02–56:11 – Social media advice, creative processes, and “flying for coffee” series
• 61:58–63:13 – Golden Globes backlash, handling hate, and the success indicator
• 68:19–71:15 – Rapid-fire questions, including best/worst celebrity, fears, and self-description

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Rapid Fire Round Highlights

• Saying that cheers him up: “A boyfriend saying I love you. He says it every day.” (68:27)
• Best compliment: “That I’ve made them laugh.” (68:35)
• Biggest fear about himself: “My level of self awareness.” (68:44)
• What turns him off: “Arrogance. And talking to someone like they’re dumb.” (70:34)
• Favorite celebrity moment: “Best has to be… Lady Gaga. She’s the best person in the world. I’m obsessed with her.” (71:37)
• What he likes most about himself: “My heart and my care for other people.” (71:08)

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Overall Tone & Style

Warm, honest, and vulnerable with flashes of humor and self-awareness. Chris is uncommonly open about pain, self-growth, and the realities of online visibility, while Jamie’s empathetic questions guide the conversation deftly—balancing deep reflection with moments of laughter and inspiration.

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Summary Takeaway

Chris Olsen’s story is one of transformation—from idyllic beginnings to addictive struggles, through family rupture and radical interventions, and finally into a hard-won self-acceptance. He offers listeners a moving testament to the strength found in tough love, therapy, self-inquiry, and supportive relationships—while also providing candid observations on modern social media, visibility, and fame. His candor about mental health, as well as his sense of humor and creativity, make for a riveting, inspirational listen.

Transcript

[Chris Olsen]

My childhood felt idyllic. It felt like everything was good and then it was all just taken away very quickly. I had an intervention and my family just sent me down to rehab. If I didn't go that day, that I would be cut off from the entire family.

[Jamie Laing]

Wow.

[Chris Olsen]

Got to my sister and she started sobbing and she was just like, please don't make dad read his letter. I, like, always get emotional when I talk about this specific conversation. Hi, I'm Chris Olsen and I'm in great company.

[Podcast Advertiser/Host]

Introducing Chris Olsen.

[Chris Olsen]

Okay, I tap out.

[Jamie Laing]

This is how many followers do you have total?

[Chris Olsen]

It becomes unfathomable in a way. One of the strongest opinions here is anger. About Me after the Golden Globes, I opened the comment section and the top five comments were about being angry at me that I was there.

[Jamie Laing]

It's almost like a jealousy thing in a way.

[Chris Olsen]

If I'm really honest with myself, it is a marker of success.

[Jamie Laing]

When your mom says, I'm an alcoholic, do you even know what that is?

[Chris Olsen]

Every morning it became tears in the car in the morning.

[Jamie Laing]

That's a lot to handle.

[Chris Olsen]

It just became a much harder thing to process for me again as a teenager who was already so unhappy with his life. My dad and I had a really strained relationship at that point too. Especially once I started drinking. I had no dreams anymore.

[Podcast Advertiser/Host]

Wow.

[Chris Olsen]

I had no idea what I wanted to do in the future. I was just so upset about every aspect of my life and it didn't feel like I had a place to be safe.

[Jamie Laing]

When did you realize it was getting too much that drinking.

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[Jamie Laing]

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[Jamie Laing]

Hello, everyone. My name is Jamie Laing and this is Great Company. Hey, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Great Company. Now, today's episode is a big one because we have Chris Olsen. Now, he is one of the biggest TikTok stars in the entire world. His followers are out of control and he rose to fame when he did this viral series of Flying for Coffee where he delivered coffee to celebrities like Austin Butler, Jennifer Lopez. It was huge. Okay, now he is spending some time in the UK part time, because he's in a new relationship. And I reached out to his boyfriend in a DM to get to Chris. His boyfriend replied, that's how we got him on. Now, we chat about everything. We chat about fame, we chat about social media. We chat about his mum's struggles with alcohol, his own sobriety, and his experience of rehab. We go deep, we go light, we go all over the place. I promise you're going to love this one. It's going to be amazing. Now, as always, before we start, if I could ask you one thing, and that is if you can click subscribe, it means we can keep getting these amazing guests. It means we can keep making the show better and better for you each week, which we always want to do. And we can keep making this whole thing completely free. Okay? Here we go. This is Great Company with Chris Olsson.

[Chris Olsen]

Hi, I'm Chris Olson, and I'm in great company.

[Jamie Laing]

How are you finding London?

[Chris Olsen]

I love it. I love it. Which, a lot of the time when I say that, English people will come up to me. Not British people, English. Because I know when I say British people, people are like, it's English. It's English.

[Jamie Laing]

What?

[Chris Olsen]

Sorry, that's the last time I'll do that. So I love it quite a lot. But a lot of people, when I say that to them here, they're like, why? And I'm like, one. It's still new to me, but also, I have someone I love here, and it's very similar to New York. It feels like the OG New York. And when I say that, everyone's like, no, that's actually York. I'm like, okay, go to York and tell me that it feels like New York then. All right.

[Jamie Laing]

New York does not feel like New York.

[Chris Olsen]

There is no way. They kind of took over. All right. But I. Yeah, I feel like it makes a lot of sense to me as, like, the layout of the city feels comfortable to me. It feels very homey. And I think I always kind of wanted to spend a lot of time here, even as a kid, because Americans have a big fascination with the UK in general, with brics.

[Jamie Laing]

Why is that?

[Chris Olsen]

I think mainly because of the accent. Like, not even going to lie. I feel like Americans hear everyone in the room talk. You guys all speak so beautifully, and we are enamored by it. It's like. I don't know. It's a beautiful way of speaking. And we have the same thing in maybe a little bit of a worse way. We kind of took it and made it worse, as Americans sometimes do.

[Jamie Laing]

Can you do. Can you do. Oh, God. Can you. Do you do a Welsh accent?

[Chris Olsen]

Oh, no. Like, if we get into the specifics, I know certain accents are probably a little bit out there and different, but I can barely do a standard RP British accent. Even though in college I went to school for musical theater, we had to take an accent class for an entire year. So we had to, like, learn different accents. No, you didn't. We sure did. We sure did.

[Jamie Laing]

Like, what did you have to learn?

[Chris Olsen]

Well, of course, British. That's kind of like the first one you have to do. And then I think. And then we had to pick one that we did a presentation on, and I stupidly picked Scottish, which is incredibly hard.

[Jamie Laing]

Very hard.

[Chris Olsen]

Scotland. What? Like, that's all I can say. And every single time that I needed to kind of. We needed to do an entire presentation in that accent. And every single time I was kind of losing it. I would just like whisper Scotland under my.

[Jamie Laing]

Yeah, to get yourself back into it.

[Chris Olsen]

Yeah. To try to do that. Or think about Shrek.

[Jamie Laing]

Chris, you say you're in love.

[Chris Olsen]

Yes.

[Jamie Laing]

With you.

[Chris Olsen]

Is your hair naturally that blonde?

[Jamie Laing]

Yeah, it is.

[Chris Olsen]

Wow. Okay. I'm sure that's probably a point of conversation that happens often on here or just in your life in general.

[Jamie Laing]

You seem to avoid the question about being in love.

[Chris Olsen]

I said with you. Yeah, I am. I am. Period. I came here this summer after I did a social media break. And while I was here over the summer, I was like, I kind of feel like I'm ready to get back into dating. And my therapist was like, okay, then start dating. I was like, well, it's not that simple. She was like, I think it is. And then she challenged me to set up a few dates. So I set up like five dates in one week. Back to back to back.

[Jamie Laing]

Okay, great.

[Chris Olsen]

Yes. Okay.

[Jamie Laing]

On a dating app.

[Chris Olsen]

Yes.

[Jamie Laing]

Okay, nice. Which one did we go for?

[Chris Olsen]

Well, we were going across multiple. Great.

[Jamie Laing]

Just to spread the options.

[Chris Olsen]

I get it. Yeah, I get it. I get it. So it was across multiple. And I set up all of these dates and some of them were good. Some of them, I was like, I'm ready to turn this off. All of them. So many people love to go on a walking date here, especially in the summer. I remember I took a Barry's class one morning and some guy took me on like a two hour walk. I thought my legs were gonna fall off. He was like, are you okay? I was like, yeah, I think so. I can't see you again though.

[Jamie Laing]

Is that what they like? They like walking dates.

[Chris Olsen]

They like walking dates. My friend Rachel Zegler, who was here over the summer playing Evita, she also met her boyfriend here this summer and said their first date was a walking date. Yeah.

[Jamie Laing]

Kind of romantic.

[Chris Olsen]

Ish. Kind of. If it works. It didn't work with this guy. I remember I posted about it on my Close Friends. It was like, why does everyone want to walk here?

[Jamie Laing]

It's also one of these things which, like, if you go for like a coffee date or like a food date, there's an out. A walking date. There isn't really any out.

[Chris Olsen]

You can try to walk faster, but sometimes they'll catch up to you.

[Jamie Laing]

Okay, I guess I'm going.

[Chris Olsen]

I was desperate to sit down on this walking date. And we were walking past so many benches and at Some point. I was like, can we sit? He was like, why? I was like, I gotta go. Anyway, the man I'm with now, Harrison, he was the last date of the week. And I was kind of. Again, exp. I was just kind of going on these dates to get back into the practice of it. So it felt low stakes for me. But I also thought he was very attractive on the app. And I.

[Jamie Laing]

What was his. What was his little thing? What did it say?

[Chris Olsen]

Well, he made the first move on there, and one of the things on his profile said something about being an opera singer. He can sing opera.

[Jamie Laing]

Okay.

[Chris Olsen]

And I think my first message was something like, how many dates in. Until you sing for me? And I think he said three or something. And I was like, then we better get started. And then he suggested a date, like, two weeks from then. And I was like, no, I'm gonna be gone. Which was maybe even a lie. But I was like, no, we must do it now, because I'm doing all these dates in this week. He was like, why don't we take this workout class that's right around the corner from the flat you're staying at and right near my office. So after work, we'll take this workout class, and then we can go out to get food. And I was like, sure. I was like, what's the workout class? He said, hi, rocks. I was like, I don't know what that is, but great. I show up and I almost die. Have you ever taken a high rocks class? Do you know what it is?

[Jamie Laing]

I dipped in once. It's hard.

[Chris Olsen]

It is.

[Jamie Laing]

It's like the. Out of all the workouts, it's like the most tense. Harrison, what are you doing? That is the most intense.

[Chris Olsen]

It's like muscle ups. And like. Yeah. It's kind of like he was putting me through a test. He was like, if you can do this, then I guess we'll keep going. I was like, what is going on? Because it's also a competition workout class.

[Jamie Laing]

Yeah.

[Chris Olsen]

And I'm on a first date, so I'm trying to look like this is easy for me, but apparently by the end of it, my face had really dropped because he thought I was so over it. But then we went out to get pizza, and then we sat there and talked for, like, five hours until the restaurant closed. And they were like, you gotta go. So we went on that date, and then we went on, like, one date a week after that. And it was kind of a slow burn, because British people aren't that into words of affirmation. And so if you don't tell me directly that you like me, I'm just like, I think he likes it, but I don't know. So I was kind of under the operation that I was like, I am this silly little tiktoker, and this guy has a real job, so he must be having fun talking to me, because I'm, like the most unhinged person he's ever met. And I'm having a good time pretending that maybe this could go somewhere. Meanwhile, apparently, he was feeling the same way the whole time. And we were both just kind of having. We were both having thoughts that maybe the other person wasn't as into it as.

[Jamie Laing]

But that's what happens on dates, though, right? That's right. What do you. What is your love language?

[Chris Olsen]

Words of, like. I love to receive words of affirmation. I also love to give words of affirmation, but I'm really good at giving gifts.

[Jamie Laing]

How do you know when you're in love? What does it feel like?

[Chris Olsen]

I think it changes throughout different eras of my life. I feel like when I was really young, when I was a teenager, it was probably this intense infatuation that was just like, again, I have a very addictive personality, and that follows through in every aspect of my life. I think I can get addicted to absolutely anything that makes me a little bit happy. So I think when I was a kid or a teenager, it showed up in the way of, like, being obsessed with someone. And now I think I look back on that time and realize that was infatuation, that was obsession. That was really liking the way the person made me feel because of who they were or how they looked.

[Jamie Laing]

Wow. Yeah.

[Chris Olsen]

Which is still important. You. You can like how someone makes you feel, but you also want to like them regardless of how they're affecting you.

[Jamie Laing]

Like, that is really interesting. I've never thought of it like that because. Yeah. I think when I remember when I had my first ever relationship when I was around 15 years old, right. It was like an obsession. And I had this sort of, I would say an addictive personality. Right. I can become obsessed with things. And it's so true, because that relation, whatever was going on in that relationship made me feel I was obsessed with the feeling more than maybe the actual person. So when that person went away, it was like, what. That feeling that I had. And so many people must understand that. So you explaining that. That sometimes we get addicted to the feeling almost.

[Chris Olsen]

Yeah, 100%. And that is why it's so hard to let it go. Or there's this fear that if it ends, everything will be horrible. And I think one of the reasons I'm. I feel very secure in where my life is now is because even before we met, I was. I had been happy alone for a while at that point. I think there was a lot of chaos in my life. And maybe I was unhappy with myself at times, but that never translated into needing someone else to fill that gap. Because I think I had experienced enough that trying to fill that gap with someone else never works. Being unhappy with someone else is way worse than being unhappy alone, I think 100%. And so I was. I felt very secure with myself. I felt very stable. And so when I met Harrison, he became part of the stability rather than filled in a gap that needed to be filled. It was like I was ready for someone to join along the journey rather than needing someone. Someone to be there to support me through it. And now that he's here, he does support me through it. And we support each other. But I think it. When it becomes less of a need and more of just a want and an enhancement to your life, there's less pressure on it. Because then you're not thinking from the scarcity mindset. You're not thinking, if this person leaves me, I won't be able to function. You need to be at a point where if the person leaves you, of course it's going to be sad. Breakups suck. But you will be okay with the other aspects of your life. Things won't completely fall apart.

[Jamie Laing]

How do you get to a place where you can be alone and happy?

[Chris Olsen]

I feel like it probably looks different for everyone, but my experience was when I spent enough time with someone else unhappy, that I realized this is not what I want to go through. Because my sanity and my stability comes from being able to decompress by myself, go to therapy, and also have a sense of self that is not directly tied to someone else. Which I think was initially really hard at the start of my adult life because I started doing content with someone else when I, like, kind of became someone who was working on social media, became a content creator. It was during the pandemic, and I was dating someone and we were making couple content, and that wasn't necessarily by design. I didn't think, okay, let me start making couple content and let's do this together. But there was nothing happening in the pandemic. I was going to school for musical theater. I wanted to be creative, and we started creating together. And then before we knew it, very quickly, it became a job and our job became being in the relationship. And I think that really set up my mindset very differently early on. And there was so much fear about what would happen if that relationship ended, because it was tied to my job. It was tied to my livelihood at that point.

[Jamie Laing]

To your worth in every aspect, right?

[Chris Olsen]

Yeah. Which I think ended up holding it together for both of us a little longer than it should have. And not that. I mean, saying should have, I feel like, can be tricky because I've learned everything I have because of the way things went. But I think by the end of that relationship, we had to get to a point where we knew we would be okay with whatever was going forward, because what's working or what's happening is not working. And I remember thinking that my job might not last after this. People might not want to see what I have to say by myself, because also, so much of our content was me filming him. And I had to weigh whether that mattered to me so much. Like, was the financial situation, was the validation, was everything that I had built online, did that matter more to me than my happiness at that point? And feeling good about myself as a person separated from all of that. And I think that was the first time I had to learn the lesson that I have to be okay with me before anything else falls into place, because it won't fall into place that way. And I think I was okay with me when it began. And then there was a lot of pressure put on us that we obviously kind of played into because we were continuing the job as a couple. But I think that is where it ended up taking a turn. And when it ended, I had to be okay with losing it all and starting something new.

[Jamie Laing]

Wow. It's a risk, isn't it? It is when you take that leap, which you did, and you suddenly go, right, okay, this is it. I'm out of it. I'm gonna start again. Did you feel relief? And this was with your ex boyfriend, Ian, right?

[Chris Olsen]

Yes. It took a long time to get to that point of feeling. I remember my therapist, months before we ended up breaking up, said that she did not think this was healthy for me to be in. And she was. She is a very good therapist and isn't gonna tell me what to do, but she was mirroring back everything I had just said and was like, do with that information what you will. And at that point in time, I was not completely ready. But when it got to the point where I was ready, I had to be ready to let everything go. But I think the reason maybe I was able to do that and it wasn't easy. But the reason maybe it was a few percentages easier to do that was because of the things I had been through in the past with my mom going to rehab and my parents separating and all of this stuff happening while I went to boarding school for the first time and feeling like everything changed in my life at once and just realizing I had to be okay with it and I had to like somehow stabilize myself, which I didn't because I was 15. And then when I'm 19, going to rehab myself and having to get sober, and that was not my choice. I had an intervention and my family just sent me down to rehab because they were. The whole intervention setup was that if I didn't go that day, that I would be cut off from the entire family.

[Jamie Laing]

So you had been. So you had exposed yourself to situations where you were basically left with nothing before. And so you.

[Chris Olsen]

100%.

[Jamie Laing]

So you knew that from a sort of mental state, you knew that this has happened before in different circumstances. So I will survive this bit if I go through it now.

[Chris Olsen]

Yeah. I remember being in rehab and being like, this is probably the lowest I want to go right now. Because the rehab was also very shame based. It was not very surrounded by love. It was very much under the ideation that you had ruined everything in your life and it was your job to make it better. And I was there for six months inpatient, and then I had to do continuing care for three more months. So it was basically an entire year. And I think going through that made me, one, stay sober out of fear initially. But two, realize that if I got through that, then I think I can get through a breakup. I think I can get through possibly having to start fresh once again from a place where I'm not starting fresh, institutionalized, basically, I'm able to do it with a bit more freedom. And I think that was also part of the point as to why they gave us such a hard time in rehab. Because so much of the thought process was also that if you can live through all of this, everything that we do to you here, you'll be able to handle everything. And if you can live through all of it and stay sober, then you can do it all sober too.

[Jamie Laing]

Where did you grow up?

[Chris Olsen]

I grew up in the Washington, D.C. area, the nation's capital. Heard of it? Oh yeah. It's a little rough there these days.

[Jamie Laing]

It is a little rough, yeah.

[Chris Olsen]

Yeah. But happy I did. I have. I look back on my childhood with so much love. I Think it was a perfect childhood. It was a privileged childhood with both my parents together. They were both lawyers. They met in law school. I had a lovely childhood. I was, like, on a swim team growing up. We went to church every Sunday. We went to dinner as a family every Sunday after church. It felt almost idyllic. Looking back on it, obviously, when I was in it, I was like, why can't you guys move me to LA and let me be a child star? I always wanted to. Just so you knew.

[Jamie Laing]

You just felt like, what was it? Was it the energy of being on stage? The validating. What is it? What is it?

[Chris Olsen]

I honestly, I think it was definitely the energy of being on stage. I love theater more than anything else. I could see a show every night, and I feel like when I first did a show, that became a part of it. But also, I remember, like, I watched High School Musical as a kid and was like, I want to do that. That's. That's who I want to be. I don't think it was initially the fame aspect of it all. I think I became curious about that, honestly, during the rise of, like, the Kardashians, because I was like, well, it does seem like they do a lot of cool things. Like, I could. But I think it really was just wanting to be creative. And I think that's why when Covid happened and when I was in school for theater, but then it shut down, I felt like I needed to be creative in another way, and that's why I started social media.

[Podcast Advertiser/Host]

But.

[Jamie Laing]

But you're. But happy family.

[Chris Olsen]

Happy family.

[Jamie Laing]

It was close with your mom and dad?

[Chris Olsen]

Yeah, I would. I want to say closer to my mom when I was growing up. And my dad at the same time, though, we were very close, and he did an incredible job as a dad, just kind of figuring out how to relate to me when we didn't have a lot to relate to initially because he, again, is a lawyer. He. You know, he. We. We are very different, and I think we found our similarities now. But, I mean, he had a kid who was like, did not want to do anything academic, just wanted to perform. I was, like, singing High School Musical around the house, making everyone watch Glee every night that it came out. And he got to the point where even though he was taking me to soccer practice. Sorry, football. Even though he was taking me to practice, he would play Glee songs in the car. And, like, he really got into Taylor Swift even more than I did initially. He really found ways that he also enjoyed to kind of relate to me as a Kid. But my mom and I were definitely very close. Cause we were very similar. We were very outgoing. My sister is like much more internal than me. What's the word for that?

[Jamie Laing]

Introverted?

[Chris Olsen]

Yes, introverted. And I'm much more extroverted. And my dad is very similar. So they kind of had their close relationship and then me and my mom. And then around my teen years, my mom's dad passed away when I was like 11 or 12. And then around my teen years, everything changed. Out of nowhere. It felt like to me, I was in the car one day with my mom and it had become a bit of a theme that the morning car rides to school were not enjoyable anymore because it was very. It felt very volatile in the morning. And then by the time she was driving me home at night, it felt like everything was calm and we were having a good time.

[Jamie Laing]

Wow. And you were noticing this?

[Chris Olsen]

I wasn't exactly noticing it until after the fact when one morning in the car, she just started crying to me and saying that she was an alcoholic. And I had no idea that that was in the cards. I did not think like, oh, yeah, no, it's obvious. She was a very high functioning person throughout our entire childhood and it never really seemed to fully rupture. But I think when her dad passed away, it became a little bit more heightened. And I remember hearing that in the morning and being like, okay, I mean, again, I'm 13, 14 and I'm feeling already like a hormonal, angry teenager. And so my thought in the moment selfishly was probably like, why is my mom crying to me on the way way to school?

[Jamie Laing]

Of course it would be.

[Chris Olsen]

Which of course now I look back on it and I have so much empathy for both of us in that scenario. Because I'm like, that kid probably needed to have that conversation in a different way. But also my mom was clearly going through so much that that conversation needed to happen then.

[Jamie Laing]

But how do you process that? Do you even know what. When she. When your mom says, I'm an alcoholic, do you even know what that is? Because do you understand that?

[Chris Olsen]

I think logically, but not emotionally. I logically know, okay, that means you drink too much. But emotionally, I don't know what that's connected to. Logically, I also think, well then, okay, you'll go to these AA meetings and you'll stop, right?

[Jamie Laing]

Yeah. Cause that's the logical. Just gonna stop, right?

[Chris Olsen]

Which of course now, after being through my own journey, I'm like, that's not how it works. I mean, it would be incredible and some people probably do just go to aa, not probably do go to AA and stop. But with a certain type of genetic makeup, it becomes way harder to do that and a background and trauma and all of those things. And about a week later, I think the converse, like every morning it became tears in the car in the morning.

[Jamie Laing]

Wow, that's a lot for a kid to take on.

[Chris Olsen]

It was definitely a lot. And again, I think.

[Jamie Laing]

Cause that's your rock, that's your ye, that's your mom, right?

[Chris Olsen]

Yeah, yeah. But also she is going through so much at the time too, that it becomes in the moment I'm angry about it because I'm like, I'm 13 and I don't know what you. I don't know what you want me to say. But then after the fact, I think now I look back on it and of course I think the conversation could have happened differently and now I would have the conversation very differently. But I can't imagine how much pain she was going through at the time. And a week later the conversation became that she needs to go to rehab. And that became a much more confusing conversation because I was like, so that means you have to go away. And I think also again, my initial thought about that might have been a little bit of a relief because I was becoming very emotionally distressed and exhausted by the conversations we were consistently having, of course. And I was also realizing that the reason things were good on the drive home were because she had self medicated in a way. I don't. She had never gotten to the point around me where it was noticeable that she was even slightly intoxicated, which I think was part of the confusion for me. But I'm, I, you know, she had gotten to a point where clearly it was very manageable for her on an outside perspective, but not internally and not between her and my dad. And so it just became a much harder thing to process for me again as a teenager who was already so unhappy with his life because I'm like going to an all boys school. At that time, I hadn't gone to boarding school yet. My grades were tanking because of everything that was happening at home. And because I also hated academics, I was just like, this isn't for me, let me be on stage. And I had recently come out at the same time. So it was. So much was going on.

[Jamie Laing]

So much going on.

[Chris Olsen]

Yeah.

[Jamie Laing]

Do you know what? Like for me, what I do is I imagine you and your mom in that car together and I feel so sorry for both of you.

[Chris Olsen]

100%.

[Jamie Laing]

You know what I mean? I have so much empathy because I feel so sorry for your mom because internally what she's dealing with and for her to. Obviously she's crying out for help and she turns to her son because she doesn't really probably know who else to turn to. And from your side, I feel so sorry for you because you're 13 years old, whatever you are, and how are you meant to understand that? And then you have to deal emotionally with your mom having a sort of breakdown around this whole thing in front of you. That's a lot to handle.

[Chris Olsen]

Yeah, it definitely was a lot. I was put into therapy around that time, which I think was helpful, but by your parents? By my parents. I remember, I think one of my first things that I said in therapy was like, I think they're putting me in here because they think fixing my problems will fix theirs. And I was like, I don't know where that came from. But I also remember crying the second I sat down there because I was just like, I don't. I don't even know why I'm here. Like, I'm witnessing my parents issues and that is taking a toll on me. But when at that age, therapy to me looked like. Like someone goes there when they're having an issue, which I clearly was. And I don't think therapy is necessarily simply just to go. You don't just go to therapy when you have an issue. But I remember it was a very hard time in general because then I was going to school at this all boys school, and I had just came out and I didn't have very many friends. I had lost a bunch of the friends that I had before I came out. And I remember it did get to a point, I think around maybe before she went to rehab or after, where I started getting driven to school by our family friends because they went to the sister school across the street from ours. And I remember I sat down there one day and I don't even know how the conversation began. It was September, so the school year had just begun. And I think my best friend at the time who was driving me there was like, are you okay? And I immediately started crying because I was just like, I can't. I. I don't want to go. I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go to school. I don't want to go home. I don't want to be anywhere. I was just so upset about every aspect of my life and it didn't feel like I had a place to be Safe.

[Jamie Laing]

Did you feel anxious, Sad?

[Chris Olsen]

I don't think I knew exactly what anxiety was at that point, but I knew I was. I think I was depressed. Like, very classically and clinically depressed, because I didn't see a future in a way. I didn't. I didn't. I couldn't see much farther ahead than what I needed to get through that day. And, yeah, I mean, it was. It definitely is. When I. I've spent a lot of time, like, looking back on it because my therapist and our philosophy really is, as we've talked about, like, everything goes back to childhood. A lot of the way that I am now goes back to childhood, too. But I think it just became a very lonely place to be, which I think was maybe the first time I learned to be okay with myself alone, but not in a way that I was happy with myself alone. Because by the time my mom went to rehab, my dad was dropping me off at a family friend's house, which was five minutes away in the morning. And then I came home on the bus every night, and my dad was gone until like, eight or nine at night at work or doing whatever he needed to do after work, too. My sister was doing her own thing. And my sister and I were not close during this time, which frequently breaks my heart because there was a. I, like, always get emotional when I talk about this specific conversation, but she came up to me. She came up to me one night that we were alone at our house, and she said if she knew that I was having a really hard, hard time with everything. And she said, I know what you're going through, and I know you might not think that I'm feeling the exact same things you are. But there was a point in time, during everything that was happening with our parents, where I also maybe felt the need to, like, where I also felt depressed in a way. And I remember at the time, I think I just said, like, okay to her because I didn't know how to have that conversation. And I ended up bringing that up when I was at rehab four or five years later, where I was just like, I remember you coming up to me and having that conversation, and I'm so sorry I didn't give you more in that moment. And she started crying at that time because she thought I didn't even remember that whole conversation. And it just felt very cathartic of, like, years where we could have been close and we weren't, and we could have, like, supported each other through it, but we. We just didn't at the time because we didn't know how to have that conversation in a way. And I think that is a very like, that is the picture of exactly what we were going through. I would come home, she would maybe be home and she would be upstairs and I would be downstair. We wouldn't be talking about anything and I would just be alone. And I wasn't doing any of my schoolwork. I was just like on the computer doing whatever. I think that's where I actually found solace and safety in social media for the first time because I was just like, there are people I can talk to on here. But I just think like every single member of my family was going through so much pain at that time and none of us talked about it. My dad was going through it. And my dad and I had a really strained relationship at that point too, especially once I started drinking. And then my sister and I just weren't close. And it really, it's heartbreaking to me a lot of the time that no one had.

[Jamie Laing]

That no one was having a conversation.

[Chris Olsen]

No, we just didn't have a conversation. And I was so alone as a kid. And it happened out of nowhere where we were doing this. I said to you. My childhood felt idyllic. It felt like everything was good and then it was all just taken away very quickly.

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[Amy Hart]

Love Island All Stars is back and so are we. I'm Amy Hart.

[Podcast Advertiser/Host]

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[Amy Hart]

hosts of Love island the Morning after. The only official Love island podcast. Catch us every morning after the main show where we'll be Joined by special guests each week to help us dive into all of the drama from the villa.

[Podcast Advertiser/Host]

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[Amy Hart]

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[Podcast Advertiser/Host]

Make sure you listen to us wherever you get your podcasts or watch along on Spotify, YouTube or ITVX. See you there.

[Jamie Laing]

Do you remember your first drink that you had?

[Chris Olsen]

Yeah, and I remember the feeling. Yeah, I loved it immediately. I, I remember just feeling really good and feeling like loose for the first time. I didn't realize how much I was like holding on to and I remember just, I had a really fun night the first time. It was some parents stolen alcohol because me and my friend were 15. I remember we got caught that night and we were forced to like clean up the basement in like for hours throughout the day. I remember it was just like, it was a very classic first drinking experience where you're stealing your someone's parents alcohol, you get caught. And I remember just feeling like it was. I didn't have any anxiety about my perception as well because, you know, there's the whole thing about drunk texts or like posting while you're drunk, which thank God I didn't have a platform during any of the time that I was drinking because you would have gone, would have been such a mess already. I probably overshare and post too much. So like drinking it just would have really released the floodgates. But I think it removes that self awareness and also that anxiety about your perception which everyone has. And I think, I wouldn't say I don't have that anymore. I of course have it, but I think I've had to make peace with having it and also realizing that people are going to think whatever they want to think about me and sometimes it's not my business, but in the moment it was peace for the first time in that specific time in my life.

[Jamie Laing]

When did you realize it was getting too much that drinking?

[Chris Olsen]

I think I knew pretty quickly that that was, this was gonna be an issue because of how much I liked it and how I knew as soon as I had regular access to it I would be doing it all the time. Because the only thing that stopped me early on was the fact that it was hard to get it, that it was, it was scarce and that you're a teenager and drinking age in America is 21. So I, I got sober at 19. I've never had a Legal drink anywhere, actually, because the only time I came here and drank two, I was 17, so it wasn't legal here either. But I remember I knew it was gonna be an issue When I went to boarding school. My final year of boarding school, one of my friend's parents let us drink at her house every weekend. And then it was happening every weekend. Then I was starting to try other drugs. And then college floodgates are open because you can have it whenever you want.

[Jamie Laing]

There's no rules.

[Chris Olsen]

No. And when I started not being able to go to sleep sober, that became probably the most worrying part. But again, I was always in a mindset where I was like, I'm gonna figure this out after college. But, like, I've been through so much, so, like, I'm gonna do whatever. Like, I see it's like a trauma.

[Jamie Laing]

You're like, I've been through so much, so this is okay for me to do that. I'm okay to be doing this right now.

[Chris Olsen]

I think also, when you're a teenager and a lot of those things happen to you at once, one of your core beliefs becomes that your life is chaotic and that your life isn't good, and that's just how it's gonna be. So you don't look to change it, and you don't look to make it better. You start believing that that is the reality, and then you continue to play into that. I wasn't thinking, I need to turn this around one day so I can live a good life. I thought, I'm not gonna live a good life, so let me do what I need to do now. And then if I really need to figure it out, I will and try to figure out something else. But. But I had no dreams anymore.

[Podcast Advertiser/Host]

Wow.

[Chris Olsen]

I had no idea what I wanted to do in the future. I just thought, as long as I can do something that is going to keep me alive, then that's what I'll do. But the aspiration and drive to get anything done didn't really come to me until I got sober, but also mainly until I think social media started working for me and I realized that I was good at something. But I think sometimes it does take the external validation, at least for me. But in the moment, I believed my life was bad and I believed that there was no fixing it. And also when I walked into my kitchen one random morning and saw my entire family there, I realized that, or I knew immediately that that needed to happen.

[Jamie Laing]

Because what did they say when you walked in? What did they say?

[Chris Olsen]

I like, I was very Hungover that day because I was drinking probably every night at that point. And it was a Wednesday that it happened because I didn't have class that morning. And I walked in. I think the interventionist, who was some random guy, was like, chris, why don't you take a seat? And I was just like, right. People asked me if I thought about running or if I was, like, really upset. And again, no, there was no thought that was surprised about this. I was like, okay. I mean, yes, it was surprising to walk into the room and be like, why? My entire family is here. But I knew what it was immediately. I was like, yeah. I mean, I. I'm currently extremely hungover. I've been doing other drugs. I've been drinking every night. That summer before my second year of college happened was probably the most messy time of it all. And my family was around for a lot of it, so they saw it. And I think that's probably when it got kicked into gear to plan this. But I walked in, Interventionists had me sit down. And then everyone has to read these things called impact letters, where they tell you how your drinking has impacted them in a negative way. And those ones are kind of like. They are really tough to read or hear, but they're also full of love for you, because it's like, we believe you can be better. So this is what's been happening, and we miss the version of you that was the happy kid, because I was such a. I was a very energetic, excited, happy kid. And, like, to watch me turn into a dark cloud, I think must have been very hard for everyone who was in that room. And everyone goes around and reads these impact letters. And then the interventionist says, we have two tickets down to Florida to go to rehab today if you want to accept this help. And I remember being like, okay, well, I definitely agree with all of you that I'm a mess, but, like, I can't leave school now. Like, let me do this maybe when the year ends. Let me do this when college ends. Like, I just can't do this now. I had no idea what was gonna come after me saying no. I thought it was more of a conversation to be had. No, it was not a conversation. It was a. It would. I. I guess it was. They were kind of telling me that I had autonomy in it, but if I chose to not go, that I was going to be cut off from everyone. And not just cut off from everyone. What happens next is everyone has a packet of papers in front of them, and their impact letter is on the front and when you say no, everyone's instructed to turn the page. So I said no. And they were like. And the interventionist said, so are you saying you're refusing help? And I was like, yes, I guess. And then he was like, okay. And looked around. And then everyone turns their page and I'm like, this is like a horror film. What are you guys talking about? You don't need to read anything else. And then it starts letters about how you will no longer exist to them. I remember the first letter that was written to me was my aunt. And she was in the room and she was telling me that I was no longer going to exist to her. My uncle got in my face and started like yelling at me. My mom told me that my. That my grandma was not. Was. Wasn't going to speak to me anymore, that she was going to tell her not to speak to me anymore. And then I remember it kept going around and it got to my sister and she started sobbing and she was just like, don't, please don't make dad read his letter. And I think I knew in that moment that that meant that I was no longer going to be a part of the family and that I was just going to kind of be cut off from everyone. And when I saw her crying that much and she. She's in touch with her emotions. We've been emotional together, but seeing her get to that level was really upsetting to me. And my dad started crying. And I've only ever seen my dad cry, like when my dog died. And so to know that it's at that level and my dad just misses his son who he tried so hard to connect with as a kid. And I knew in that moment that I had to go and that I wasn't about to be cut off. And I wasn't about to, like, tell these people that my drinking mattered more than my relationship with them. And I went off to rehab that day and they told me it was a 90 day program. And as soon as I got there, it was very clear that it was going to take however long it was going to take. Because I think some of the first people I talked to there were like, I've been here for seven or eight months. I was like, what are you talking about? And it was September, so I knew I was going to miss the entire school year and have to start again. And it just became my reality. But I had to accept it became radical acceptance because you're on the plane going down and you're just. I didn't even get to Say bye to most of my friends. Because I literally. Our flight was that morning.

[Podcast Advertiser/Host]

Wow.

[Chris Olsen]

And so it was just like, pack up all your stuff and go.

[Jamie Laing]

Do you know what, Kritza? It's weird, though. I look at that and see that's the sort of ultimate form of love from your family.

[Chris Olsen]

A hundred percent.

[Jamie Laing]

You know what it's like? I almost, like, weirdly. And so I never really spoken about this, but I, weirdly, in some ways, am envious of you, because in my 20s, when I was doing a show over here, my drinking was so out of. Out of control.

[Chris Olsen]

Yeah.

[Jamie Laing]

It was crazy. And my family never stopped while on the show because the show was so. It was just Whole thing.

[Chris Olsen]

Yeah.

[Jamie Laing]

And I wish it. And I have another friend who did the show with who went through the same thing, and he says, I wish our families stepped in. I wish they had done something. And, yes, we would have pushed them away, done whatever, but if my family had said, if you don't do this, you're not part of this family anymore.

[Chris Olsen]

Yeah.

[Jamie Laing]

You would have gone. I probably would have said, jesus, okay. It would have snapped into some sort of reality.

[Chris Olsen]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jamie Laing]

Which it was this, like, endless sort of thing that was going on.

[Chris Olsen]

Yeah. I think it is a very hard position to be in for a family as well, because cutting someone off doesn't really feel like love. Even if you're doing it out of love, you're telling someone they. It's a lot of tough love. You're telling someone they can't be a part of your life because, you know they're better. And because, you know, if they turn things around, they will. They will be the person that they once were. But in the moment, it feels like you're telling them you hate them. And that can be a really. That's. That's the easiest way to receive it at the time. And I think there are a lot of addicts who do receive it that way in that moment. And I think I did have a hard time with it in the moment, but I also knew somewhere in my head that this was love and that this was them doing this because they wanted me to stay a part of their life. They didn't want me to not be a part of their life. And everyone at the intervention, I think, like, says to me, yep, that must have been, like, such a hard day for you. And I usually turn it right back around to them because it was a hard day for me, but I was the one that was causing the pain. I was causing the difficulty. Like, it was a Hard day for you. You guys all had to travel there and tell someone that you loved that. That they've been impacting you very negatively and that they're going to be cut off if they don't accept the help in the moment.

[Jamie Laing]

And you're eight years sober now, right? Is it.

[Chris Olsen]

Yeah. Which is eight and a half.

[Jamie Laing]

Eight and a half. Which is. Dude, congrats, man. It's the most. What I heard you talk about, which was so interesting, is that you said, when there's one addiction that happens, which is alcohol, drugs, whatever it may be, when you come out, that addiction almost has to replace that. You have to find something else. Right. And you kind of said that that sort of drifted into sort of sexualizing yourself in some ways. Wasn't.

[Chris Olsen]

Yeah, I mean, I think I was just seeking validation. I was always seeking validation because my treatment center was not a place that gave you validation. If you did something well, that was expected, and if you did something wrong, you were gonna die. That was really. And I'm not even exaggerating, if you did, if you made one wrong misstep, they would play out the tape for you and show you how that was gonna lead you to a relapse and die, basically. And that wrong thing could be anything, like breaking a rule could be anything, like spending too much time with someone you weren't supposed to spend time with, even if they were at the facility. They had crazy consequences, too, where if you threatened to leave but then didn't, you had to pack your bags and then walk around with them everywhere because you needed to feel the weight of what leaving felt like.

[Jamie Laing]

That is fierce.

[Chris Olsen]

Yeah. And the walk from the residential building to clinical building was about a mile and a half. So you're walking down a highway for, like, 30 or 40 minutes to the clinical building with packed suitcases, which people packed for, like, three to six months of stuff. I never threatened to leave. I actually. One of my issues there was that I never broke a rule because I was so terrified. I saw what all of these people had to do when you broke a rule. And. And it actually kind of made the therapists have a really hard time with me because part of the philosophy of treatment there was giving you a consequence and making you survive it while sobering.

[Jamie Laing]

You weren't doing that.

[Chris Olsen]

I was not. Because I was like. It got to a point where we were at month five or six, and I was, like, thinking in the back of my head, we should be wrapping this up soon, because I'm clearly doing well, and my family therapist Was like, she sat me down and said something along the lines of, chris, if you don't act authentically and break a rule, because you clearly are not acting authentically, because if you're here, you're already a rule breaker. So show us who you are so we can help you.

[Jamie Laing]

Wow, that's a head fuck.

[Chris Olsen]

And I was like, jesus Christ. I'm trying to be better.

[Jamie Laing]

I'm trying to be better.

[Chris Olsen]

I thought the entire point of being, do you want me to go out and relapse just so I can, like, see how horrible it is?

[Jamie Laing]

So they can just go, see, that's it. That's you being your authentic self. It's hard.

[Chris Olsen]

Yeah. And that wouldn't be what they would say. They would. I would be torn apart for making a mistake. I remember they moved me off to a halfway house very quickly to give me more freedom and see what I did. But I never broke a rule. And I think because I never got positive validation, even when you leave, even when you graduate the program, they're just like, okay, good luck. And you're like, okay, I've spent seven months being torn apart by all of you, but thank you for the send off. And you're also encouraged as patients to go after each other. And if you're not going after each other, you don't care about each other. So if a therapist says. Says someone did something wrong and the other patients don't chime in on why they did something wrong and how horrible it is, then you're contributing to their relapse and death. So anyway, I leave rehab seeking validation, of course. And I think it did come out in ways on social media that I was just. It really was. I had gotten really into fitness. I was seeking validation for that. I was seeking validation for being, I don't know, living. Living a better life than I was. I guess, in a way. I don't think I was seeking validation for anything specific. I think I just desperately wanted to be validated because I was like, I did so much work. Why isn't anyone telling me to.

[Jamie Laing]

Yeah, exactly.

[Chris Olsen]

Even though I think I agree with the point that it maybe doesn't need to be said because my life should be the validation that I'm getting. I should be. Just be happy that things are going well. But. But words of affirmation, guy. I think I really wanted it or needed it in a way.

[Jamie Laing]

So let's talk about social media for a second because how many followers do you have total?

[Chris Olsen]

Oh, I don't know.

[Jamie Laing]

Let's just get it out there.

[Chris Olsen]

It's a, there's, there's 13 point something on my main account on TikTok and I know there's 6.7 on my spam account because everyone comments. Six, seven, um, but, but so it's

[Jamie Laing]

over 20 million followers combined.

[Chris Olsen]

Sure. Which is crazy. Instagram is to something, it is a lot. It is definitely like it's un, it becomes unfathomable in a way. I, I, there are certain times I look at my main page on TikTok and I see the 13 million and I'm just like, when did that happen?

[Jamie Laing]

But here's a question for you, right? Okay. If I was to remove all your followers now, every single one, do you think if I said right the next year you could build it back up

[Chris Olsen]

again again, it would be much harder to build it to the place that it is now because of how saturated social media is. I think I could get a platform again. I think I would be able to regain some sort of platform. But I don't think I, I think I, I. Timing is a lot of agreed but,

[Jamie Laing]

but then if someone was listening to this now and is a huge fan of yours and also thinking, you know what social media, I love that I have that, what would you say to that person? Say, how do you become successful in this saturated place?

[Chris Olsen]

I think my advice now is way different than it would have been at the beginning of it. Where I think at the beginning I would say you just like, just post as much as possible, just try anything. I think that there is still truth in that and I think there is a way to find success in that. But I think the center point of what you want out of it matters the most. And if you want to share a specific thing or if you want to share a specific side of yourself or a specific talent, hone in on that. And even if it's not working right away, figure out a way to kind of like gain an audience from it. And then you want to take the data that you learn when something does work.

[Jamie Laing]

Yes.

[Chris Olsen]

If you have that one video that does work. Yes. Recreating it in the exact same way could be helpful. I'll use my Filter series, for example, where I remember I did one of these like celebrity filters, maybe like two years, three years ago now in 2023. And I saw it really worked and I knew clearly that there's many ways to do that again and reformat that because it gives you so many options, but you can't, I couldn't just do the exact same thing every single time. I had to make it interesting in a different way each time, and I think that is true for any type of content. Similar to the series I did where I was delivering coffee.

[Jamie Laing]

Amazing.

[Chris Olsen]

It had to be someone new every time, and I did not expect that. It was so good to take off in the way that it did. I'm very proud of it. But also it became. I rode the wave with it. I think you need to have some sort of.

[Jamie Laing]

It was called flying for coffee.

[Chris Olsen]

Yeah. Yeah. I think you have to have some sort of, like, sense of being able to give it up to the universe, to see where the universe takes it and surrender is what I was saying.

[Jamie Laing]

You have to have a sense of surrender and you have to get rid of, like, embarrassment, which is the hardest

[Chris Olsen]

part of all of it.

[Jamie Laing]

You have to be free.

[Chris Olsen]

Right.

[Jamie Laing]

Which would have come from your kind of, like, theater background, where you. You were just being free on stage. You were able to be free on social media.

[Chris Olsen]

I do think that's why a lot of theater kids become successful later in life because we're used to embarrassing ourselves and embarrassing yourself and being a little bit cringe is the way to try anything.

[Jamie Laing]

Because I heard this quote, which was from Austin Butler, who actually. You did.

[Chris Olsen]

I did do a coffee video with him. My close friend. Yes.

[Jamie Laing]

He said something along the lines of, like, embarrassment is an emotion that we need to explore more greatly.

[Chris Olsen]

Right.

[Jamie Laing]

Like, you need to lean into embarrassment.

[Chris Olsen]

Which I do think sometimes, you know, some people watching that might have a hard time hearing that from him being like, okay, hottest man in the world, Elvis. What are we talking about? Like, yes, be embarrassed. Let's see you get messy, Austin Butler. Like, what does that look like for you? I do think it is true, though, and I. He definitely cares about his craft, so he's saying that from a point of honesty. But I think in my social media career, I was already at a point where I wasn't scared to embarrass myself or be cringe, which I think actually puts people off of me a lot because they're. I feel like sometimes people get annoyed with how much I'm. I'm willing to just, like, do whatever and, like, I don't know. And I think. I think because I'm not really always worried about my perception, I'm okay if I have a glambot that people say is bad. I'm okay if I have a cringy moment. Like, that's it. I think it becomes annoying because the societal expectation is that when you do something embarrassing, you should be embarrassed about it. And you should want to change.

[Jamie Laing]

You've nailed it. That's no dude, Chris, you have. That's exactly what people are. People as humans, we're so restrictive. We restricted. So we get embarrassed by something. We should feel embarrassed. And what you do with your series, where you do a therapy series where you talk about what you're going through mentally, Right. And you, you're so open on social media and people are jealous of that, that you can be so open with it and get traction. I think people. People who see success on social media sometimes are. It's almost like a jealousy thing in a way, because they wish I could do that if I let myself go a little bit more.

[Chris Olsen]

Yeah, I mean, I always have a hard time with personally taking on the mindset that any hater is just jealous of me in a way. But I do know that there is some truth to it. And I think it's not necessarily that the primary emotion is jealousy. I think sometimes the primary emotion is, like, anger towards the both of us because it's maybe at their self too, where they see what I'm doing and they believe they could do it better. And my retort to that is, then please do. And not in a way of like, then do it, bitch. It's like, like, I truly encourage you to follow it. I want everyone to succeed because there is enough space for all of us. If I could do it from my, like, boyfriend's apartment in New York and just become who I am now, I think anyone could. But I think a lot of people have a really hard time putting themselves out there, especially in this current age of social media, where it is very volatile and people can be very mean. If I'm a teenager, if I'm a younger person who wants to put out content, I am going to think about what people are going to say about it or how people are going to feel about it, and that is going to drive what I post. I'm coming at it from a different perspective because of everything I've been through. But I do think sometimes the anger that comes from seeing me at a place like the Golden Globes is coming from a place of them believing that I did not do the right work to make it there, or that they would have done it better, or that I should have done something else to get there, or that I shouldn't be there at all. Because I was having a little bit of this revelation after the Golden Globes when I saw a post that was maybe like, Yahoo. Entertainment posted it and it was them asking Everyone who they were talking to on the carpet, what their current obsession is. And I'm weaved in with these people at the very end of it, and I say, he did rivalry. I didn't even know what hockey was. I was before this. That's all I said. There are so many people this. The video starts with Connor's story from heated rivalry. There are a lot of big stars in that video. And I remember seeing it and, like reposting it and thinking it was a funny video. And I opened the comment section and the top five comments were about being angry at me that I was there. I mean, I think one of the top comment that had like 15,000 likes at that point was something about like, why is Chris Olson there again? And then. And then the rest of them are too, like, get him away. All of this stuff, which used to really upset me. I mean, that is. That was like the impetus for one of my breakdowns on social media. But it was. I. I had posted or a Love island fan account posted a photo of me with two of the girls from Love island, usa, and the top comment was like, get. Get Chris Olson away from them. And I crashed out that day because I was like, what the fuck do you think I'm gonna do? Like, if I were problematic or if I were like a criminal, I guess this would make sense. But, like, I'm not. My crime is being annoying. And you're saying, get me away from them because what. What's gonna happen? They're gonna become annoying. They're gonna catch it from me, like, they're fine. These are some gorgeous Love island girls. They came up to me too, because they enjoyed what I was doing. So I got really mad at it at that point. But when I saw it at the Gold after this, I remember there was no anger that came up in me for the first time, which I think that's amazing. It definitely had to do with taking the break and definitely had to do with recentering myself and how I view myself and how I view social media. But I remember just being very curious about it because I was thinking about how there are so many other people in that video. There's so much to comment about. And it seems that one of the strongest opinions here is anger about me. And while initially that would be very upsetting, it's more curiosity and also, like interest on why that is happening. And also, if I'm really honest with myself, it. It is a marker of success.

[Jamie Laing]

Totally is.

[Chris Olsen]

Because if I'm there and if. If most of the comments are Talking about me. And I, I really hate to, like, take on this mindset because I think sometimes it sounds really gross. And it's like, haters are just, like, making me more famous. But I'm like, you are all talking about me. And, and that is, that's, it's very fascinating to me.

[Jamie Laing]

And it, it's like the wwe, right. WWE is like you either if you. But in a sense, WWE was so great. You, the people who are the most successful, the ones who are loved but also disliked.

[Chris Olsen]

Yeah.

[Jamie Laing]

Like, and that is the sort of aim of success. And if you can kind of have that where people really like you, but then there's all people who dislike you, then in a way, especially in the entertainment space, it's kind of an interesting space to be. Because not everyone's gonna love you.

[Chris Olsen]

Yeah. And not everyone's gonna dislike you'll never happen.

[Jamie Laing]

And so, but if they're having that conversation, it's kind of amazing.

[Chris Olsen]

And I remember Megan Trainor told me that, like, really early on in our friendship that she was starting, she knew she was doing well again because she was starting to receive hate again. Because once you're receiving hate, it means you're expanding past the audience that is just gonna, like, love you no matter what. I remember hearing that and being like, oh, that's like, kind of rough because I had a really privileged, long time on social media of kind of unanimous enjoyment of my content. That's what it felt like. It felt like I went through a breakup and then I felt on top of the world because people were really rooting for me to do well in this next chapter. And then I did well for long enough. And it became to a point where I was like, okay, now you're getting to a point where we actually don't think you deserve everything you've gotten, so we need to bring you back down. And yeah, I remember just looking at this comment section in this new era of my life and being like, this is it's it. I, I can't be mad about this because if all of these people are talking about me, I must be doing something right. And I'm gonna, I, I, it's not like I'm gonna listen to them and go away, and they, they're always gonna be there. And so it's now up to them whether they wanna continue talking about me and whether they wanna continue to have a bad feeling about me and not up to me to fix that, because I can't and I never will be able to. And I don't want to at this point. And if you want to continue being angry about me, that's a lot of weight to hold for yourself. And also kind of. I have to admit, it's a dumb thing to be. You're angry because I'm annoying. Like, oh, my God. If that is what you're taking on in life, let yourself rest, take some weight off your shoulders. Stop thinking about me. But also, if you're gonna continue talking about me, you're continuing to talk about me, and you're feeding into it. It's just like how people say. And I'm not comparing myself to Taylor Swift. Okay? But it's how people say, like, Taylor Swift's haters are her biggest fans. Cause they can't stop talking about her. They can't stop talking about how annoying it is she is everywhere and how much of, like, she's not really good at what she does. I don't think she cares what you think. Ms. Billionaire is happy. Also, not even having social media on her phone. Probably most of the time, you're. You become. It starts. You're starting to scream into the void in a way. And I think one of the ways I've started visualizing it, too, is if someone were to yell that comment at me across the street or, like, on the street while I'm walking past them, I would be like, ooh, crazy person. Like, I would. I would be a little bit, like, scared. I would be like, oh, poor you. Yeah, if someone was like, fuck you, Chris Olson. I would be like, oh, like, it really would more just be like, let me walk around you, like, hope this person heals. I would be. I would be really scared of them. But of course, like, that's not the landscape of social media. And people on social media who are commenting these hate things don't think they are that person. But you are. And, like, even if you're a young person who's listening to this and that, that is what that generation is becoming, it will be, like, the hardest thing to break through. Because if you lead your life, if. If you start living your life out of fear of people being mean about what is going to happen, you will never find out who you are. You'll always just be a version of yourself that you created to try to make other people like you, or a version of yourself that you created to not make any waves. And then you'll have no sense of self or creativity, and you'll be upset that other people are having success when you never tried to figure out who you were. So you could give yourself the grounds to have success in the first place.

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[Chris Olsen]

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[Jamie Laing]

Chris, you're unbelievable.

[Chris Olsen]

Okay, yo, these words of affirmation, like, I don't know what to do.

[Jamie Laing]

Can I just say, Listen, I. I want to say just thank you, man. Thank you for like, coming on, for talking about this, for being so open. Thank you, like, and also just from my side, keep sharing what you're doing, keep entertaining people, keep spreading that love because there needs to be more of that. Without a doubt. And I really appreciate it, man. You're freaking amazing and excellent. Every single.

[Chris Olsen]

Thank you.

[Jamie Laing]

You truly are.

[Chris Olsen]

Thank you, Chris.

[Jamie Laing]

We like to end the conversation with eight questions. You ready for this?

[Chris Olsen]

Oh, quick. Is this rapid fire? Yeah. Good luck to me for keeping it rapid.

[Jamie Laing]

Okay. What's a saying or phrase that makes you smile or cheers you up?

[Chris Olsen]

A boyfriend saying I love you. He says it every day.

[Jamie Laing]

Best compliment anyone's ever given you.

[Chris Olsen]

Oh, that. I've made them laugh.

[Jamie Laing]

100% the best. What scares you most about yourself?

[Chris Olsen]

I guess sometimes it can be my. My level of self awareness because I think sometimes I'm so. I'm so, like, I'm so tapped into my perception.

[Jamie Laing]

I get it.

[Chris Olsen]

That I don't think is a necessarily bad thing a lot of the time, but I think it. There's a fine line of it teetering into negative.

[Jamie Laing]

When was the last time you cried?

[Chris Olsen]

Well, like, I, I almost did right now, like, or during this podcast. But my mouth was so dry that, like, I was like, I think I'm so dry that no tears are coming out. But, like, I feel, I feel I kept, like my voice was cracking. I was like, okay. And then I had the fear right after it that I was like, I. Are people gonna think that I was fake crying? Cause I was like, oh my God. No boyfriend can tell you I cry all the time. But I think, yeah, it was like now, but before that it was. It was probably like watching. It was watching Fantastic Four on the plane.

[Jamie Laing]

It's great.

[Chris Olsen]

Yes, it was watching Fantastic Four. Yeah.

[Jamie Laing]

What song would you want to be played at your funeral?

[Chris Olsen]

It would be an orchestral song from the movie Interstellar called Cornfield Chase. Because that's beautiful. That's the song that I listened to when I want to connect to my grandma who passed away. And I just feel like it is such a song that represents connecting to people who are in a different realm.

[Jamie Laing]

Brilliant. What's your guilty pleasure?

[Chris Olsen]

I'm not really guilty about any of my pleasures. I will have whatever I want, when I want. Like, and not. Not from a point of being like, I'm just gonna like buy myself anything. If I want a sweet treat, I'm gonna have a sweet treat. What's the point of restricting? Life is too short. Short.

[Jamie Laing]

What turns you off?

[Chris Olsen]

Arrogance. And talking to someone like they're dumb. I think because back to the conversation about the intelligence and me feeling like I wasn't an intelligent kid growing up. I feel like at my all boys school I would get talked to like I was dumb a lot of the time. And that gave me this internal feeling that I was. And so now when it happens, because I know I'm not in certain ways, I'm like, like, talk to me like that.

[Jamie Laing]

What turns you on, Harrison? What do you like most about yourself?

[Chris Olsen]

My heart and my care for other people and how I always just really want to make other people feel good.

[Jamie Laing]

Bonus one.

[Chris Olsen]

Yes.

[Jamie Laing]

Who's the best celebrity you've interacted with? And the worst.

[Chris Olsen]

Some people are already gonna know the worst. I can't say it by name.

[Jamie Laing]

Is it. The worst is the one they think of the comments. And it always is.

[Chris Olsen]

Yeah.

[Jamie Laing]

You did a flying coffee thing with.

[Chris Olsen]

I might have.

[Jamie Laing]

I won't say who it is, but

[Chris Olsen]

best has to be. I mean, Megan always comes first, but Gaga, Lady Gaga, get outta here. She's the best person in the world. I'm obsessed with her. I love her so much. I love her as an artist. She was the first person I was ever a fan of. Basically my first concert too was the Monster Ball. I've been a fan forever. I mean, I was a little gay kid in D.C. like Lady Gaga came out with Born this Way. Right after I came out, it was like she. She followed. She like spoke to You Exactly. It was incredible. And now I've had the privilege of working with her a little bit. And she's just, she's such an artist. She cares so much about her creativity and also how it is affecting the people that consume her stuff and that love her. And she loves her fans so much. And I think. And it's so authentic the love that she has for her fans because in some of our conversations she would talk about it from such a. An honest place. And I think a lot of the time I don't necessarily hear that from celebrities, which I don't think is necessarily a bad thing. I don't think it doesn't mean they care, but I think she really does. And I think that's felt for sure.

[Jamie Laing]

Chris, this has been amazing. Thank you so much, buddy. I loved every second. I really appreciate it.

[Chris Olsen]

Thank you for having me. Thank you for having Harrison with us too, and for giving us your sweets.

[Jamie Laing]

Chris, we love you. Thanks so much. Thank you, man. You're amazing, guys. What an episode. I really hope you enjoyed it. Chris, if you're listening, you're one of the funniest, sweetest people in the entire world. And to Chris's boyfriend, Harrison. Man, thank you for getting Chris on the podcast. I think sometimes we go through life going to the gym, doing our work, chasing relationships, all those things, but actually sometimes we don't do the work on ourselves. And Chris is kind of a prime example of someone who's done that work, who knows himself. Once we know ourselves much better, that's when we can be much happier. I know in my experience, that was kind of really true. Now, I really, really hope you enjoyed the episode. If you really liked it, please subscribe. We couldn't do the show without you guys, so we love our community. So if you could subscribe to the show, that would be amazing. And of course, we're going to be back next week for another episode of Great Company.

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[Chris Olsen]

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[Jamie Laing]

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