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Ryan Reynolds
Race the rudders.
Jamie Laing
Race the sails. Race the sails.
Ryan Reynolds
Captain, an unidentified ship is approaching.
Jamie Laing
Over. Roger, wait.
Ryan Reynolds
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Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
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Ryan Reynolds
Engine light with O'Reilly Variscan.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
It's free. Ask for O'Reilly Variscan today.
Ryan Reynolds
Auto Parts.
Jamie Laing
Hello, everyone. My name is Jamie Laing and this is great company. Well, hello, Jemima.
Jemima
Hello, Jamie Ling.
Jamie Laing
You are the producer of this show.
Jemima
And you are the presenter of this show.
Jamie Laing
How are you today?
Jemima
I'm well, I'm very well. You are well, the sun's been shining.
Jamie Laing
It has. I can feel the breath of summer on the back of my neck.
Jemima
What's that feel like? Hot and sticky?
Jamie Laing
No, just a bit like ooh, ooh. That's not quite winter. That's more spring. Maybe it's the breath of spring.
Jemima
Maybe it's the breath of spring. Might be a bit premature for the summer's breath.
Jamie Laing
What is your favourite month or favorite season?
Jemima
Honestly, I can find a reason why I like all of them. No, but I will say you like it. No, no, I'm going to have this on record. I hate March.
Jamie Laing
Yeah, March is not a good one.
Jemima
I'm sorry. March is my least favorite month.
Jamie Laing
Kind of with you on that. March.
Jemima
I'M indifferent. Just take me straight to April.
Jamie Laing
I'm not a big fan of March, and I'm not a huge fan of. I mean, October. I'm not.
Jemima
Excuse me.
Jamie Laing
That's your birthday.
Jemima
That's your wife's birthday. I don't like. So I would. I take January over March, any day.
Jamie Laing
Yeah. Yeah, I take January.
Jemima
January knows what it is.
Jamie Laing
Yeah.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Dark.
Jemima
It's kind of cozy.
Jamie Laing
Yeah.
Jemima
March, you're like, hell, yeah.
Jamie Laing
What the hell is this?
Jemima
Spring. Don't love August either.
Jamie Laing
I love August.
Jemima
August is just a big old Sunday.
Jamie Laing
It is a big old Sunday. That is so true. That's so interesting.
Jemima
I read that somewhere. I was like, that is the perfect.
Jamie Laing
August is a big old Sunday. Speaking of Sundays. And speaking of. We are here to cheer you up, though, because we have an amazing podcast today with the lovely Ekansu. Ekansu. If you don't know who Ekansu is, Ekansu appeared on Love Island. She's appeared on the traitors in the U.S. she's appeared on the recent series of Love Island All Stars, and she also did a Big Brother. She is a sort of cult figure within that Love island tribe. She's one of the greatest contestants there has been. But as much as she's been loved and she's had so many amazing things, she's also had some tough times in Big Brother. She had a really tough time where people thought she was fake and she was booed and she had a really terrible time with it. She's very open with all of her emotions and feelings. She had a public relationship that didn't end too well.
Jemima
That must be. I mean, you've experienced that must be so hard having a breakdown.
Jamie Laing
Not as big as that.
Jemima
Yeah.
Jamie Laing
You meet these people on Love island and they fall in love, and so you kind of represent them together. And so then you become matched and are you as strong without each other? So then there are lots of. That plays into your mind.
Jemima
That must just be such.
Jamie Laing
Yeah, it's heavy. So I'm really excited for. Come on. She doesn't do that many podcasts, from what we understand. So are you ready for this?
Jemima
I'm so excited. A lot of people are coming to the office today in the hope of getting a little glance glimpse of Ekinson. She's pretty iconic.
Jamie Laing
Yeah, she is iconic, and I think she's gonna go on to do amazing things. If you haven't subscribed to our show already, please do just click that subscribe. But you can check out our social media channels at Great Company podcast on Tik Tok and Instagram. And of course, we're on YouTube. Are you ready for this?
Jemima
I sure am.
Jamie Laing
Okay, enjoy this episode of Great Company with Ekan Sue.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Hi, I'm Ekan sue and I'm in Great Company. At the time, I was working in finance, actually, weirdly, don't ask why. Yeah, tax return. And.
Jamie Laing
Did you enjoy that?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I enjoyed Fridays because Fridays was the day when we'd finish early and go to the pub with all the other old people in the office and talk about tax. But yeah, you know, I was always. I was always the one in the office that all the men did. Fancy, I'm not gonna lie.
Jamie Laing
Any office romances?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
A few, but we're not gonna talk about the names. A few. A few.
Jamie Laing
Really?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah.
Jamie Laing
Kissing in the office.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah. One.
Jamie Laing
One.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
No, two. I lie two. But we're not going to name who they were. But yeah, I mean, listen, I was living the life.
Jamie Laing
Of course you were.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
You know, when you're.
Jamie Laing
When you're working in an office in the. In there, where do you go and kiss?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
So there was a staircase, right, that there was no cameras on. And after, when everyone disappears and goes home, it was around 5, 6 o'clock. We went for drinks, all of us, and I said to him, well, let's go back to the office. And there was this one room where the staircases were that goes up and down the whole building and just there, you know, casually just kissing. The guy on the stairway got a bit heated. But then I thought, right, this is going to get me in trouble. I could be fired if anyone catches us. But listen, a man in a suit working in finance. Yeah, yeah, back in the day. And there's a song about it, isn't it six foot? Was it three or two? Six foot, five blue eyes. Finance. There you go.
Jamie Laing
That is naughty. I said, that's so weird. That just icked me out.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
No, but the thing is, I've never changed, Jamie. I've always been like that, 100%. So when you saw that heart rate challenge on Love island, that is the PG version of that. Guys should have seen it in person. It was mad.
Jamie Laing
Are you serious?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah, it's great.
Jamie Laing
It's confidence and I love it. It's brilliant. It's brilliant. If Curtis said, will you marry me?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
What, now? Now?
Jamie Laing
Yeah. If Curtis came bursting through here and this was all a setup and it was actually just bacon, he did it. He asked me to set up my.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Why do I feel like this is real and I'm getting excited?
Jamie Laing
Curtis Come in. You actually look good. Actually look good.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
No, I've got goosebumps. No, I'm a lover girl, so I need to relax.
Jamie Laing
But would you say yes?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I feel like there's no timeframe for this. You know, if someone is the one and you feel like that is your person, then yeah, what's the worst that can happen? You're gonna get divorced.
Jamie Laing
Exactly.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
You're not gonna die, are you?
Jamie Laing
That's a great way to look at life. Yeah, I like that. I have one of my great, one of my best girlfriends. She was best woman at my wedding. School, Georgie. Her parents, they met and then three weeks later they got engaged and they had been together for 40 odd years.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
There you go. That is true love there, Jamie. That is true and it exists. Do you know what? I do? And I feel like there's always that negative 60% of the public that go, oh, it doesn't exist. You know, we've got Tinder and all these apps and Instagram. Yes, that's true. But I feel like you can definitely still fall in love. More than once, More than twice. I have. Six times I've been in love.
Jamie Laing
Six. Six times I think I've been in love. It does happen and that's okay.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
You have to allow it as well.
Jamie Laing
Yeah.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
And you can't let these outsider voices, like, make your dream become ordinary. Do you know what I mean? There's always outside noises telling you it doesn't exist. Oh, it's just lust or, oh, it's a six month relationship or this person's better looking. It's like, yeah, so what do you.
Jamie Laing
Like when you're in love?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I love how I feel when I'm in love as well.
Jamie Laing
Give it to me. Explain it to me.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I've been in love six times, Right. Jamie and the six men that have been in my life have all made me feel a different way. One particularly was very toxic. One was average, one very good. But I noticed right now I'm the best version of myself, which means I'm in a healthy relationship. When you love yourself, you can love someone and give them 100% of yourself.
Jamie Laing
Yeah.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
So I feel like different people bring out different sides of you. It's just how I've seen it.
Jamie Laing
I think you're totally right. So when you're saying with Curtis at the moment that you're the best version of yourself, how do you know you're the best version of yourself? What does that make you feel?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Do you know how I know? It's when you know that you're not walking on eggshells every morning. And you know that you can just be this thing that you are, this quirkiness, without feeling judged or without feeling like you have to be something else that you're not. I just feel me. And I couldn't care what anyone thinks. And that's when you know. And you feel happy every single day. Even when things go wrong, you're like, you know what? I'm still happy. I've not felt that in. In years. Jamie.
Jamie Laing
Like, have you not?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
No. No. Been kind of, like, covering my. My happiness a little bit with, you know, in the industry, you have to always put on a front, and you have to always come and be, like, professional. And, you know, when you've been with the wrong person in the past, you lose yourself.
Jamie Laing
Yeah, you do. And it's funny you say that, because then you don't realize you're losing yourself until you. You come back out. And then suddenly you start smelling things and seeing things. You go, wait, oh, the sky is.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
The sky is blue. The sun. Is it yellow or orange? I don't know. But, you know, name it what you want.
Jamie Laing
Isn't that crazy? That happens, yeah. So talk me through your first love, then. When. When did you first fall in love?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
So when I. When I first fell in love. He actually looks like Curtis, the guy I fell in love. He was called George Jones, and we met at university. He was a golfer. He was a northern boy from Cheshire. Yeah. So I went to uni. Very. Speaks like Curtis as well. It's really weird. And I was so in love with him. I thought I was gonna marry him. I was obsessed with him. I. You know, at the time you lose your. It was to him. So it was at age. Age 19.
Jamie Laing
Jane, talking about your virginity.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah. Sorry.
Jamie Laing
Looking over at.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I don't know if we're allowed to talk about these things.
Jamie Laing
You can talk about anything you want. So you lost your.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
To him and to George Jones. To George Jones. He's now married with a kid, God bless them. But I was just so. My whole life was him at uni for the first year, until. Until. Until I experienced the feeling of betrayal. It was new to me, and I didn't know how to react or what to do. But I remember it was like the world collapsed, you know. Your first heartbreak took me two years to get over the guy.
Jamie Laing
But when someone. When you feel betrayal for the first time and you don't know how to. Because you don't understand how to handle love. You don't. These emotions are all coming in. How do you handle that?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I think fairy tales and you know, when you're young, Cinderella and all these like stories we've been fed of what love is. The prince coming in on a white horse. I thought that was love when I was young but now it's. That's just a fairy tale. It's not non existent. Let's be real. There's cheating, there's affairs, there's lying, there's. The world is a dark place and I feel like love is what you make of it, you know, there's no such thing as this is what love is and everyone should feel that way. It comes in different shapes and sizes and how you feel and how it makes you feel. And I always felt like back then love for me was more like a. Yeah, it was a fairy. It was like a movie. I exaggerated my boyfriend at the time.
Jamie Laing
What examples of love did you have throughout your life?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I had.
Jamie Laing
Were your parents madly in love?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
My parents were madly in love but unfortunately a divorce now it happens, doesn't it? Oh, I'm sorry to hear about that. I'm sorry, but it's so common now, right, isn't it?
Jamie Laing
Family.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
But they were very in love and my dad did art and acting at uni. My mum was. Studied French and they both like met together at university. They were really both performative people and artistic people. My dad used to paint my mum naked. Yeah, that's how romantic they were. Like, there's like pictures of my mum fully.
Jamie Laing
That's beautiful.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah, I mean it was a bit disturbing when I saw her and I was like four these paintings of my mum but kind of traumatized me. But no, they were very, very passionate. And then obviously, you know, sometimes you can fall out in love out of love. And that's what happened when I was 21, they divorced and had my brother. Me and my brother have 10 years between us, so I was 10 years old when my mum was pregnant. My brother speaking. So far, so much to talk about.
Jamie Laing
No, it's fine, don't worry. I love it. I love it, by the way. I'm loving every single second.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Where to start.
Jamie Laing
But yeah, so. So. So your parents got divorced when you were 21, but until then they were just madly in love. So. And it really taught you then what.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Love probably is 100%, you know, my mum and dad were always very respectful towards each other and obviously there was always arguing. That's normal. My mum always says. She's a psychologist, she says if there's no arguments in the relationship it's not healthy, really. There has to be arguments to keep the fire. Because if your relationship's always monotone, then there's something a bit off there.
Jamie Laing
That's interesting because my parents never argued and. Really? Yeah, they got divorced. Yeah. But my mum always says. Cause they never argued. They never. They never. They never hashed things out.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
That's the one.
Jamie Laing
Yeah. Smoke about things. They just basically, it became.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Let it go, then maybe let it go of things in relationships. Hard.
Jamie Laing
Right. People do different things. If you don't argue about them or whatever, then you. You hold them, hold them, hold them, hold them. And it becomes bigger. When you were 21 and your parents divorced, did that hit you hard?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah, I think I had to be like a. I had to be the strong one in the family because my brother was so young. And I had to be sort of like pretending like everything's fine. But I didn't want my brother to be traumatized from it. I knew I'd be fine, but I was protecting my little brother from that. You know, we went through everything at the time, but I had to tell my brother, this is life. That's still your mom, that's still your dad. Like, it's never gonna change. They both love you, they both love us. But they are happy on their own this way. And it's okay if Mum meets someone else. It's okay if dad meets someone else, but they're still our parents. That's never gonna change. And I think that helped my little brother Arda, realize that it's actually okay. And it's common for people to divorce. Yeah, it's just a part of life. Doesn't mean anything.
Jamie Laing
No, it goes back to what you said at the beginning, that actually if you marry someone, you get divorced. Only divorce. But divorce feels like a lot of weight, though sometimes. I don't know why it does. It feels.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
The word divorce sounds awful, you know, Some words just aren't.
Jamie Laing
Sounds horrendous.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Like. Yeah, I think, like, death begins with D. Do you know what I mean? Divorce. Why is it so dark? D. Dark.
Jamie Laing
Are we onto something here?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I don't know. Maybe we're not. Maybe we are. Who knows?
Jamie Laing
And look, it's hard to talk about parents. Right. Cause I know how tricky it is and stuff like that. But did the divorce feel like a bit of betrayal or.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
No, it did, I guess. But I never knew that until a few years later because it came out in my relationships. I guess it affected the way I was with men. And I feel like because they divorced I felt like I wanted my family to be the happily ever after. But then I think when you have your boyfriend and you break up with your own partner, it almost becomes normal. It's like, oh, we're breaking up. Well, it was fine because my mom and dad's divorced, so you kind of think that's a normal thing. But, yeah, it did feel like betrayal. And I had to be strong and pretend it didn't for a few years just to protect myself, my brother.
Jamie Laing
It's funny you say that, because I spoke to a great friend of mine whose parents are together, and she was saying, divorce is the last thing. It's the last thing you ever do. And I think for you and I, or for people potentially who've been through divorce, you're like, it's just divorce. It's kind of a flippant thing almost, that's thrown around. Oh, you can just get divorced.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah.
Jamie Laing
But actually, it sort of shouldn't be. Marriage and relationship should be sacred. You should try and fight for it. You shouldn't just break up. You shouldn't have divorces. You should fight for that thing 100%.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
And I think it's easier nowadays to. To not work on things. We think the grass is always greener on the other side. That's the thing of society. We always think that, and then we don't realize what we have. If we water the plant, you know it's going to grow. But instead we go, well, that plant's a bit rusty now. It's a bit dead. It's got dead leaves. Let's go and go to another florist and pick up this new plant that needs watering. No, no, stay there and work on it.
Jamie Laing
I want to go right back to the beginning with you. Okay. So what was Ekinsu like when you were growing up? Who was she? What was she doing? What was she loving?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I was always a performer, Jamie. I used to.
Jamie Laing
Really?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah. There's like, cassette, cassette tape. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cassette cassettes back in the day where my dad would film me and I used to be, like, different characters when I was, like, 10 and make up a script and perform in the living room. Really weird. I used to, like, be different characters. I used to be three people in one play and perform to my family. Crazy. I used to.
Jamie Laing
So beautiful, though.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
It's. It's amazing. Yeah. And I used to always pretend I was in a music video. Like, I'd put a song on and. And I'd pretend I'm being filmed in the music video. Just weird.
Jamie Laing
What Songs would you be playing?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Just like, you know, Titanic. My Heart will always Go on, you.
Jamie Laing
Know, what was it about that. What was it about that industry? What was about performing that you love so much? As a kid.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I think I just enjoyed the not normal life. Like, I liked being someone else. I liked sort of. I didn't like just being normal. I wanted to experience different emotions and understand different people's minds. Like, when I grew up, I wanted to, like, really study about, like, for instance, serial killers. It's quite fucked up. But why is that person a serial killer? Let's go into their mind. What. What trauma have they been to, been through? Can I experience that too? Can I act a serial killer? Probably not, but I'm going to try. Not in real life, guys, but, like, the. The role of it, like, it's just interesting. I feel like being a happy girl next door is boring. It is. I want to feel something. I want to be affected by something.
Jamie Laing
So, okay, so you're growing up and you're. You grew up in Islington, right, And then you moved to.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
When I was 10.
Jamie Laing
Okay. And then what was that like growing up there? What was school like?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
This is when things changed. I went in very Year six, I went into. I remember having a very long skirt in primary school and my name was very obviously foreign at the time. Ekinsu, Jujul, all are very long. And it was a very sort of like. It wasn't a multicultural school because when I went to school in Tottenham, it was, you know, different, you know, backgrounds and stuff. So I went from that to going to literally, me and everyone, basically. I felt like an alien and almost like I had these. I had quite hairy legs at the time. You were only young, you know, a child. And then you had all the other girls of Prada bags and Prada shoes and fake tan and mascara on, and I'm like, wow. Like that. I idolized that. But I was never fitting in that. I was kind of the dork, I guess. Teacher's pet at school. Yeah, I loved the teachers.
Jamie Laing
Yeah.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
And I see my. My school lunch in the toilets. A. Then the extreme bullying. Bullying happened from year seven to year nine.
Jamie Laing
How old are you at that point?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
12, 13. I was quite big when I was near seven. Chubby, got pushed down the stairs. Been caught fat. Being called ugly. Racism. Yeah. Had a quite a tough time at school.
Jamie Laing
I'm sorry, that's. It's just. It's. Yeah, I. I chatted to Luke Evans, the actor. Amazing. So he. Yeah, he's amazing. He grew up in Wales. And he was really badly bullied. And he said he had a mentality, though. He said he. He knew it was gonna end. He said, if I get through school, it's gonna stop. It's gonna be okay. I just gotta get through this. And I said, that's a unique way.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah.
Jamie Laing
Cause lots of people don't have that. When you're in the thick of it like that. It is. You're in the tornado.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah. It's hard. You think that your life's going to end. You think, this is what I deserve? Until I fancy that guy at school, he wouldn't even look at me. And I thought, you know what? I'm a bit fat here. I need to lose weight. So I googled how to lose weight. Some stupid diet came up called the Green Apple Diet. Right. You're young, you're a kid at this point. How. You know, morning, afternoon, night, I was just munching on this apple and skipping rope.
Jamie Laing
Are you serious?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah. I obviously couldn't afford a gym at the time. You were a child. But, like, didn't have iPhones then or did. We can't remember. And. Yeah, and I lost weight, and all of a sudden, people started looking at me and. And fancying me. And then I did the beauty pageant after that, which was wild because I was, like, 17. I went to South Korea. I know. To compete.
Jamie Laing
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang on a second.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
So much to say.
Jamie Laing
Wait, oh, my God. This is so. You were at school. You're having this really tricky time. You're saying there's racism, you're being pushed down the stairs. Are you telling your parents about that?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
No.
Jamie Laing
You're not.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Because my mum was pregnant to my brother at the time. I didn't want to stress them out.
Jamie Laing
So you internalized everything.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah. And actually, my best friend, funny enough, was chocolate. I used to eat a lot as comfort. I would snack a lot because I felt happiness and comforting. It was like a weird bond we had.
Jamie Laing
What does that do to you as a young person? Because I know so many people will be listening to this episode, and so many people you inspire and they love. And the fact that you're able to talk about that and say, I went through this really shit time, People go, God, that's what's happening to me right now. What would you say to someone listening who's going through something like that?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I would say, please speak to someone, whether that's a teacher, a friend, or someone. Don't bottle it in. And I would definitely say, that it's going to make you a stronger person and those bullies at school are going to end up below you because that is what happened. And I'm going to definitely say that it's going to pass and never hold everything in. And if anyone needs help, seek help, therapy, whatever it needs, even if you're, you know, young person, there's always help out there, free help. There's loads of websites that you can talk to someone to.
Jamie Laing
Have you ever seen any of the bullies again?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah. Oh, 100%. They didn't even deserve my blink. I saw them on the high street. One of them looked absolutely ridiculous. Honestly, I literally did this. I was like. And one of them was like, can I have a picture of you? I went, do I know you? Oh, you're that guy from school. And I just passed and I walked off and I was like, yeah. It was the best feeling ever, Jamie. It was when I won Love Island 2022 and felt good.
Jamie Laing
I chatted to and I'm sure she won't mind Scarlett Moffat, who is amazing. And I haven't seen her in a few years, but I was friendly with her and she said one of the most empowering moments for her ever, she was in a supermarket and she saw one of her bullies and she went straight back into being this little girl, like scared, like, oh my God, freaking out. Oh my God, there she is. And the bully ran up to her and she was with her daughter and she said, oh my God, Scarlett, I haven't seen you since school, you're doing so well. All these kind of things.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah.
Jamie Laing
And she said, oh, I've been telling my little daughter how we were best friends at school. And Scarlett said, she said, oh, can I have a photo? She said, I want to say one thing to you. I hope your little girl never goes through what you made me feel at school. And she dropped her basket and walked out the supermarket and she had never felt more alive that she had confronted her bully. Yeah. Unbelievable.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
That's given me goosebumps. Good for her for saying that.
Jamie Laing
Yeah.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Because it is brilliant. That's all you need to say and walk off.
Jamie Laing
Because I think this, especially with something like bullying, it's such a firstly, it's so awful. It's horrendous to do that to people. It's such a short term sort of thing to do to someone. People don't realize that in later life you're gonna see each other or walk past each other.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
The world is small.
Jamie Laing
The world is small.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
So small.
Jamie Laing
And be Nice to everyone on the way up, because you never know who you meet on the way down. Never, ever step on the little people. Never be rude, never bully, never do anything like that, because you'll meet them in the future and like you did, you'll flick your hair and walk on.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
And you know what, Jamie? I never understand bullying at a young age. I understand bullies as an adult. I feel like it's a reflection of who they are because they hate themselves. They want to make you feel bad. But I feel like when you're young, when you're not fully developed, how are you? Like, I don't understand what goes through that child's mind. How can you be nasty to someone? Is it bad parenting? Is that a question? Just. Do you know what I mean? I've always thought about it.
Jamie Laing
I think it's. I think it's probably they are making themselves feel better. So they've probably gone through some sort of trauma, 100% or something like that. That's what I think. The. How do you stop the bullying?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
You can't. This is the sad thing. You can change and you can control yourself in the situation, because bullying happens even now, right? It happens in everyday work. There's always a manager or a boss or a colleague that just doesn't like you. But you just have to accept it. And when you know that that's life, you can move on. Even now, there's probably people that hate me for no reason. That's fine. Hate is an emotion. You gotta worry when no one has no feelings towards you. Jamie, Come on. Come on.
Jamie Laing
There we go. Okay, so you then go on this diet. You start eating apples. You're skipping.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Guys, kids do not do this at home. It's not advised. Very unhealthy.
Jamie Laing
Yeah. And I suppose that maybe came and I don't put words. You. I thought it probably became a bit of an obsession, maybe.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Oh, 100%. And that's when I started to become obsessed with what I looked like. So it was like, okay, what is the meaning of beauty? Okay, it must be the way I look. Actually, it's internal. It's about how you are your soul. But I learned that later on in life. So these pageants I did were very. All about what you look like the perfect person, beauty. Very wrong message, by the way. But when you're young, unfortunately, I got influenced by that.
Jamie Laing
So you saw this pageant, you thought, this is what I want to do.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Because I thought I needed the confidence when I lost it. Do you know what I mean?
Jamie Laing
Yeah.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I didn't know who I was, but I liked the attention I got. So let me go into this. And then somehow won the pageant in England and then went to South Korea from Asia Pacific 202212 and became 15th out of 75 countries represented Ireland. Although I'm not Irish, I don't know why I did that because I had to represent something from the uk, which is Northern Ireland. Yeah. Interesting times.
Jamie Laing
And so you. And so you represented this island.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I don't even look Irish. But don't. I know I'm really.
Jamie Laing
But there's two things here, I'd say. Firstly, it's very entrepreneurial of you in certain ways, because you knew what you wanted to get. We all lie about different things. It's not really lying. You just knew what you wanted to get. But also you're going into this. It's also about competition and it's about holding yourself. That demands a lot of confidence.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yes.
Jamie Laing
So going from someone who was lacking that confidence to then getting confidence to go and do that, that's a massive shift.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
It is. And I don't understand how that happened. It was like, almost like I wanted to compete, I wanted to be better. So I was like, you know, there was a talent show in actually one of the pageants and I was singing in it. So all of a sudden this confidence came out and my performative side again came out. And that's when I think confidence happened. Such a young age. And it went on forever. Almost like I've done the bullies. If I can do the bullies come at me, what's the worst that can happen in life, really? I've had hate, I've had bullying. Just love life, you know, it's amazing. It is mad. But I prefer being real. I prefer, you know, this, the mind being the heart being beautiful than focusing on the. The look.
Jamie Laing
I feel like it's hard though, right?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
It is hard. It is so hard. It's really time.
Jamie Laing
It takes a lot of time because it's. It's. And that's such a great message to do because we live in this world because of social media and what we look like and things like that that we kind of forget that actually it does come from the inside and all of the outer shell doesn't matter.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Anyone can be beautiful, Jamie, anyone. There's loads of people that are handsome, beautiful. There's someone better looking than you. Better looking. It's okay. But there's only one of you.
Jamie Laing
But how do you change that? And be honest, because that takes. That is a lot of Unlearning to do.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah. Yeah.
Jamie Laing
And that's hard. Really hard. Especially as we're talking about the industry that we're in, especially being a woman in the industry. So how does that change? When does that change for you? And be totally honest with that change.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
For me, it changes. You hit rock bottom and you realize how. There was a moment in my life I was very depressed and I just looked at myself and I was like. I looked at Instagram and I was like, oh, that just seemed really. Something didn't feel right. It looked like an illusion. I felt like I was in a video game. Like, what. What is this? We. We take a picture, we put on Instagram, we wait for people to like it, we edit our pictures. Why? I went to a walk in a park after, and I took off my shoes and I walked barefoot on the grass. I sat there, closed my phone, just meditating, and I was like. And I went back to, like. It was really weird. But where we came from, Adam and Eve, like, for instance, we're humans. Like, this social media is all new. It's toxic. It's not natural. We're all living a lie. I feel like it is. How do you know this? Instagram is what is right. It's not living in the moment, realizing what's important. Family, morals, happiness, being healthy. We're breathing. Right now. There's people in hospital that cannot breathe. They cannot. They've broken a leg or an arm. We. We still are here right now. But then there's someone that's moaning about the weather being rainy. Do you get it? It takes time.
Jamie Laing
There was a big moment for me, which I had, which is. My mum sent me an article once, and she said. And I was going through a really tricky time.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I'm sorry to hear about.
Jamie Laing
No, it's okay. I went through a tricky time in my 20s. I just did. And. Because I didn't really understand myself, and it was just interesting. Oh, my God.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Is that when you like the maiden?
Jamie Laing
That was Made in Chelsea time.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah.
Jamie Laing
Made in Chelsea time for me was. Was amazing.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
By the way, I loved you on there.
Jamie Laing
Oh, thank you so much.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
You and Spencer was my favorites.
Jamie Laing
Oh, we had the. We had a. Unbelievably.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I used to fancy him, by the way.
Jamie Laing
Yeah, a lot of people did.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Sorry.
Jamie Laing
But I was. I had. We all, to be honest, had a really tricky time because we didn't really understand ourselves. And I went through a really big batch of anxiety and things like that. And my mum sent me an article and said, you should read this article. And I said, okay, I'll read it.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
So you've never striked me if someone that would have gone through anxiety because you are so ekin.
Jamie Laing
I went through terrible.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Did you?
Jamie Laing
Crippling. Crippling. I like. But I never told anyone. I didn't tell anyone. I just. I just kept it inside. Just never told anyone. Never spoke about it. Didn't want to speak about it. So I didn't until I spoke to a friend of mine and then it kind of came out. But my mom sent me an article about this woman who. She was a horse rider. She was amazing. She was an athlete. And she was walking outside her front door and she slipped on some ice and she broke her neck and she could never walk again. She was paralyzed from the neck down. And she sent this article this woman had written in hospital. And the article was amazing. Quite uplifting in so many ways. But the main point was this, is that she said when I could walk and I could move and I could do those things, I cared about what my legs looked like and I cared if they were fat or if they were too thin or they were this or they were that. And now I just wish I had legs, you see? And it. For me, it was a turning point where I went, what am I exactly worrying about this nonsense that's going on. What this person. I've got great friends. I've got a great family. I'm so lucky.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
You got a roof over your head.
Jamie Laing
I got a roof overhead.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah. It's true. And I feel like until you see that or you've experienced it, you will never know. Like, until you, like, you've experienced that moment.
Jamie Laing
Yeah.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Or you saw someone's told you it. It clicks.
Jamie Laing
You said you were feeling really good in yourself right now.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah.
Jamie Laing
You look amazing, by the way.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Thank you. Very kind of you.
Jamie Laing
And I. I'm going to be totally honest with you. I hadn't watched any of the All Star Love Islands and then this one had me ripped. It was unbelievable. It's actually some of the best TV I think I've ever seen.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Really? Oh, I'm so happy you watched it.
Jamie Laing
Just brought joy into the household. It was just amazing. You said you're feeling good to yourself right now. What have you been feeling the last few years?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Very good question.
Jamie Laing
And try and be as honest as you can.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I'm really honest.
Jamie Laing
Okay.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
In the last, especially two years, I felt like I was a product, a brand of Ekin sue. And I felt like there was a lot of. It was like there was A. There was a heavy weight here full like, kept of the reality of my relationship, how I felt, who I was locked up. So it was almost like a imagine like a migraine hitting your brain all the time, but you have to numb it all the time by practicing and kind of in interviews and putting on a smile. And it felt so draining. I was drained for two years that I was. I never made the most of the moments I was in. I never went out, I never socialized. I had no confidence much. I always very defensive as well. If you've seen like for instance, Big Brother, completely defensive. Like, I look at myself now, I'm like, who was that person? Oh, it's a person that was broken. It was a person that was in a, in a traumatic relationship. But. But again, I was lying to everyone. I didn't tell the truth of why I felt that way. I was like, yeah, we're fine, we broke up. But really there was so much more to it that I had to live with that affected me for a good time.
Jamie Laing
Do you think you. It's funny, it's a protective mechanism, isn't it? When you go through something like that and you're right, when people become defensive, there's normally something going on 100%. It's tough, it's hard.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
No one really understands it as well. They're like, oh, this person's being rude. Or it's like, no, like this person's going through something. You know, we're human. No one's. No one's always perfect. You know what I mean?
Jamie Laing
You know, I think, and I don't want to generalize here, but I am going to, so I apologize. I think it's much harder for women in the industry.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
It is.
Jamie Laing
Okay, good. I can. It really is.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I don't want to be sexist, but it is.
Jamie Laing
I see it with Sophie, my wife, like, honestly, okay, let's take the Brits, for example. I can just turn up to the Brits. I wear a suit and it's all fine. Sophie has to go through this glam. She has to get up there photos. It's like a lot. It's a lot.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
It's a lot of pressure to look.
Jamie Laing
The certain way, to be a certain way, to hold a certain way.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
And I feel like as well in the media, when a woman does something wrong, I feel like we get a lot more scrutinized for it. I feel like, you know, when you, when you have to be more careful. But you know, I feel like when men do something, I feel like if it is. For instance, they get caught doing something illegal, I feel like they can still carry on working, but if it was to be a woman, I feel like their whole life is over. They're deleted out the industry. Why can't we make mistakes too? You know what I mean? It should be equal. But by the way, Sophie looks amazing just all the time. So shout out to her glam team.
Jamie Laing
Shout out to Sophie. You hit rock bottom. What was that moment? When were you. Where were you? What was happening?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
It was a few times, actually. It was after I broke up with my ex because it was very hard to break up with my ex at the time. Because you still love. I still loved him.
Jamie Laing
Is this Davide?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah. And I didn't speak about it. My family knew, but I didn't speak about it. Buried that in me. Then I went on to. Well, I did the traitors, us. And then I flew from LA to the Big Brother house. Wrong show, wrong time. You know, I was gone at the time. Mentally, I don't think I was myself. Came back from Big Brother, obviously, there was a lot of hate going on. It was a very low point. I. I felt. Because I already felt worthless going in the house, coming out to a lot of hate and death threats and people saying, you know, like, you don't deserve to be alive. I'm gonna come and find you and kill you. Like, all these really nasty things. Like, you should be ashamed to be who you are. You deserve to be bullied. It is triggering. It triggers things. And I was in my flat and I was just sitting on the floor, and I just burst into tears for a good three hours, just crying. And I just. I just felt like I didn't know who I. I was, like, touching myself, thinking, is this real? Am I. Is. Is this fake? Like, it was a really weird mind thing I was going through. Felt like this whole thing wasn't real.
Jamie Laing
It's disassociation.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah. And I just felt like, what happens if I just went away? Like, surely that will be a good thing. Maybe. I, you know, I had just weird things going through my head. But then I remember having this phone call and someone said, ekin, please speak to the therapist. I'm shaking talking about it. But I said, no. And they were like, no, you need to speak to a therapist. I don't think you're okay. You've not left your flat. You're not eating, you're not. You're not yourself. I had my therapy session, and after that one session, I kind of. They were like, right, you Need. You need to take yourself away for a week. Self care. You need to switch off your phone and realize that, Ekin, you're. You haven't done anything wrong. Like, the feeling is temporary. It's not real, this depression. It's not real. It's not who you are. Took me a while to get out of it. The therapist recommended I speak the truth because if you don't tell the truth, then you'll always have that anxiety in you. So I eventually did, and that felt like a weight off my shoulders. But it's hard because people look at you, Jamie, especially in the industry, and think you're this amazing person. You have everything that's going for you. But is that the reality of it?
Jamie Laing
It's not very brave of you.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
We're all human.
Jamie Laing
It's really brave of you to talk about it though, as well, because especially when you're in that place, it's horrible.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I never thought I'd be in that place. I always thought, oh, my God, like, when people feel this low, surely they can get back up until it happens to you. It is a very dark place. And I wouldn't wish that upon anyone. Anyone, whoever you are.
Jamie Laing
You know, it is triggering, though, because when you go into something like Big Brother and then you come out and you haven't been yourself, as you said, and that's. And I can really feel it on you that you're being so honest about it. You're just saying you're not yourself. And you did this experience and it was so hard. And when people are booing you for someone that, you know that's not you. Yeah, that's a really hard thing to deal with.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
It was. That's. That's when I actually believed it. I believed that I deserved the booing. And it took me a while to even do Love Island All Stars. I was very 5050 on it. You know, after you've just done a show. That was my last show. I was like. So I just took it. Took the. Took the sort of risk and thought, you know what, just do it. Go back to something that you were from. That you were yourself on. So when.
Jamie Laing
And I don't. And you don't have to. When you get that low and you're having those thoughts that you don't want to be here. Did you speak to your parents or anyone?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
No, no, no one. Just the therapist. Because I couldn't. Even when I was having my session with her, I. I couldn't say I didn't want to be here, but I think she gathered from how I was saying it was quite worrying. Yeah. You know.
Jamie Laing
Have you spoken to your parents since about it?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah, 100 and yeah, they were obviously worried about me even doing Big Love Island All Stars. Mental. Can she take it? Will she be okay? Yeah. I feel like if you don't hit rock bottom in life and you can't get back up, you'll always be that low. I think when you can get back up, especially when you've been through your anxieties as well, like it does make you stronger person. You know what the lows feel like. Do you know what I mean?
Jamie Laing
Totally.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
So when you know what that feels like, you actually, you try not to get there again.
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Jamie Laing
Love island and all Stars. Curtis and you were amazing. The crawling on the floor scene for the Heartbeat challenge. My Lord, that was one of the greatest scenes I've ever seen.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I needed shin pads. I'm old now. Back in 2022, I could crawl easily. Should have worn them, but yeah, I had a few cuts on my legs, but listen, so did Curtis. Listen, I'm a very passionate woman and if no one was on that fire pit, if there was no cameras, I would have done a 50 Shades of Grey scene. But you know, it is what it is, heck, and I love it.
Jamie Laing
Cause you're confident yourself, right?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Listen, I don't care. It's a game. Whatever challenge, you know, the Elmer thing carried on for days. But listen, I live in the moment. I let my hair down. I don't care. I'm having fun. Whether it's a show or not, it's who I am. I'll do it in private, too.
Jamie Laing
You know, Curtis, after that little challenge, must have been literally on heat.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Well, I wanted to go in the hideaway that night, and they wouldn't let us. But listen, we were very, very. What's the word?
Jamie Laing
Respectfully.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Respectfully. We were frustrated, both of us, and it was like we just wanted to get out because, honey, I would not be doing anything in there because it was just.
Jamie Laing
I get that.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Come on. You can hear the cameras zooming into you and stuff, you know?
Jamie Laing
But then can I ask you. Sorry, this is getting so personal. I need to ask you. But then when you leave you, what. What happens then?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
All I can say is 10 seconds, maybe five.
Jamie Laing
But, yeah, not for you, I imagine.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
No, not for me. I could go for hours. But, you know, cheers to that. H2O. No one thought we'd be like, no ways. So let me tell you a secret, you know, tell you something. So the week before I went in was in South Africa the week the holding. So the producer, the producers came in and visited each one of us in our holding with a chaperone. So the producer went to me, went, how you feeling? You know, you're gonna go in night one. I was like, yeah, I'm excited. And I went to him. Are you sure there's someone in there for me? Because, you know, it's quite a risk. I'm going back in.
Jamie Laing
You didn't know anyone was in? You didn't know?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I didn't know who they were.
Jamie Laing
Okay.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
One thing he said to me was like, ekin, speak to every single guy. Get to know them. There's one person in there we think that is going to be a perfect match, but it's not your type. I was like, huh? And the night I walked in, I was looking at him. I was thinking, who are they talking about? Because I was attracted to Curtis. Do you know what I mean? Good looking guy. Like, when I saw him, very tall.
Jamie Laing
Yeah.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
And charismatic. And I was thinking, well, he's my type because I'm attracted. So I'm looking at. But then I spoke to everyone, I thought, hang on, I'm really, like, getting a vibe from. I'm really Getting along with Curtis like he's bringing out such a unique side to me. I couldn't stop being around him. And then actually I realized we spoke now. That was that. That's what he meant all along.
Jamie Laing
What do you think? What do you think? It worked because he said the Love island crew kind of knew. They knew. What do you think? Why does it fit with you two?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Everything is very similar. The way we think is very similar. The way we act is very similar. The way we bounce off each other's humor. It's weird. I don't feel judged by Curtis. You know what I mean? You know, sometimes you feel a bit judged by your partner when you say things. He hypes me up all the time when I say quirky things. I just find him really attractive as well. I don't know what it is.
Jamie Laing
Yeah, that's a big thing.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
It's when you unexpectedly. I'm shocked that I actually found someone again. It's a bonus, you know.
Jamie Laing
Did you think you wouldn't for a long time?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah. God, yeah. You know, when you've been in. When you've been hurt and broken, you don't want. You can't trust again. It takes time.
Jamie Laing
And also, by the way, I think it's funny with TV shows like this is that when Sophie and I met on our TV show.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Oh, you did, didn't you?
Jamie Laing
Yeah, we met on the TV show and I had made a promise to myself that I would never fall in love properly, and I never really did. And that's probably why I was a bit promiscuous and things like that. But she. When we then started dating properly and then when we got engaged, I didn't want that to be my story. I didn't want to be like, oh, we met on a TV show. I thought that was lame. So I used to almost lie about it. I used to say that we had met before.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I love that.
Jamie Laing
And then actually now I embrace it because people meet at work, they meet in the street. Meeting in an intense environment like that, it's actually an amazing way to meet.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
And it's forever on tv.
Jamie Laing
And then you can watch it. You can watch it back.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I'm sorry, which lucky couple has that? You're lucky. You know what I mean? It's amazing. It's rare.
Jamie Laing
Why did you decide to go back in? Because I come from reality. And whatever anyone says, you know, the world is. There's sort of this.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
By the way you smashed it, by the way you've done so well, Jamie, I. Oh, well, that's I look up to you, man.
Jamie Laing
Oh, no.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I think you've done so well.
Jamie Laing
I think you've. Listen straight back. I think you are beyond. I really do. I really do. But I, you know, and I. I understand it because we get boxed in.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah.
Jamie Laing
And there are. There's a weird tier system which you kind of go. And I sort of see it in myself, if I'm totally honest. When TikTok started and things like that, and you saw these TikTok stars coming up, and I was like, well, they're not.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Is that a talent?
Jamie Laing
Yeah. Is that like. What is that?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
What is that?
Jamie Laing
Yeah, but it is. And content creating is a huge challenge.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I can't do it.
Jamie Laing
Knowing what you're like and knowing how driven you are, then why would you feel like going back into some. Doing something that may box you in too much into the reality TV place?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
So I said to myself, I'm not gonna do reality TV after Big Brother ever again. I was like, I'm not doing it again. I was very like, no, I'm not gonna go. But I would never do Love Island. But actually I was only saying that because Love island reminds me of my ex. So it was defensive because of that. No one understood that. So when I went back in, they were like. But she said she would never do Love island again. Yeah, it's because I didn't want to be reminded of my ex because I was in pain, not because I was against the show. And the reason I wanted to go back onto All Stars is because I felt like I want to rewrite my love story. I said I wanted to go have fun and let all this barriers down. Okay. Stop being so scared of TV again. Go back to something and. And take a risk. Like, what's gonna happen again? The worst. You're gonna get dumped. I've done that. I've experienced my lows. It's only onwards and upwards from here. And look, I met someone, so I'm so grateful. And I always say, just because you want a show doesn't make you any better than anyone else. You can always go back because there's always a thing. Well, she won the show. She's done this. You can go back. We're all. We all came from the same show. We're all born from Love Island. Doesn't matter if you're a Molly Mae or it doesn't matter. You can go back.
Jamie Laing
You were really. I know this is separate now, but you were really in love with your ex. I can hear it. Cause you wouldn't even want to go back on show because it reminded you so much. And I just think sometimes people doubt people on shows if they fall in love or not.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
They do and it's normal because it's tv. So people are, oh, is that real? Give it a month or give it the. There's a contract thing that people talk about, isn't there? There's no contract. I'm sorry, what is this contract thing? People say, I've not signed a disclosure about all in a year, I'm going to break up my part partner. That's just what people say. And even in real life, Jamie, whether you're in the public eye or not, relationships don't always work. But because you're not in the public eye, it's not been spoken about or it's not a big deal. It's easy to amplify something when you're on a show and people have followed your journey. It's like, oh, they didn't last. Well, they did last. It just didn't work out.
Jamie Laing
When you go through a breakup, how do you deal with it?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I definitely don't go under someone to get over someone. I watched YouTube videos about how to get over man Cringe. Yeah, I read books, I.
Jamie Laing
What did they say?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Just things like, you know, time as a healer and you need to do things you love, hobbies, spend time with friends, family, people that love you. And it's okay to cry, it's okay to grieve, it's okay to miss. But understand that you can't change things. And what's once, what is broken once won't be fixed because of the big.
Jamie Laing
Brother experience and the things you had there and people, you know, you've admitted now, but I think people wrongly saying you were fake and things like this going back into a show like that, were you nervous to see the outcome? Cause you don't have access to social media. You don't know what's going on. Your brain must have been playing tricks on you.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Oh, it did. I was very nervous. I had. So me and Curtis will have private chats sometimes, like at night under the sheets. And actually the first time Curtis ever told me he had feelings for me was under the sheets, not on camera, which felt real to me. That's when I said to mum, a bit anxious. I said, I, I, I had this talk's on camera too, actually. And I spoke to the psych in Love island and I said I feel really anxious. I feel really not because at the time there was a lot of things going on with the whole Elmer thing, I felt like I was in the wrong for a while. So I said. I said, am I a bad per. I was thinking, my bad person is it. I just felt guilty because I thought I deserved that. So in my head, I was like, I'm scared to get out of here, Kurtz. I'm scared. Am I going to be okay? And he was like, ekin, stop overthinking. You're an overthinker. You're here now. You wouldn't be this far if people didn't love you. He kept saying that to me, reminding me of who I was. You're Ekinsu. Forget Big Brother. Forget Davide. Remember who you are. And I think that really helped me.
Jamie Laing
How was acting for you?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
So acting. Did a degree in a university and finished finance. Broke up with a boyfriend, and I was like, you know, cheated. Yes. And then I thought to myself, you know what? I'm gonna go to Turkey, where I'm from, get all my flight. I went to watch this theater performance. Jamie, right? And this is when everything changed. And I was sitting there, front row, watching it. Beautiful performance. And then the director of the play saw me and went, can you come to the back, you know, dressing room? And I'll me, God, is he gonna do something to me? I thought. I got scared, you know what I mean? Like, I'm on my own here.
Jamie Laing
It's quite weird.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
My life is weird. It's normal in my life.
Jamie Laing
So he brings you backstage?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Backstage. I go to the. You know, he's an older man. You know, I'm going in the mirrors and stuff. You know, all the people on the play were there. And he goes to me, do you want to be in the play? On. I go to him, huh? Like, literally. I was like, huh, Literally. My reaction was what? He went, you can be in my play starting next week. And I went, do you even. Like. He didn't ask me who I was, if I'm an act. Nothing, Nothing. I said to him, is this real? I. I had to fly back to England. He went, it's fine. We'll sort, you know, make sure you. You stay here for six months. And I was like, okay. He was like, tell me about yourself. I went, well, weirdly, I'm an actress, and I don't have any plans. I'm not committed to work back in the uk. And he was like, perfect, you're in. This is your role. Bring my family. They think I'm crazy. Think, nah, this is a trap. Is it real? Is it authentic? Is it.
Jamie Laing
I Think I'm crazy? I know what's going on.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
You know what I mean? Is it an actual play? Like, do you know what I mean? So I sent all the details, and this director is really well known in Turkey. He's huge. And what was the play about? It was just like. Just like a.
Jamie Laing
You still don't know now because it.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Was just like a play about, like, this famous story about this couple, like, Turkish, Ottoman Empire play.
Jamie Laing
Yeah.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
And I went in.
Jamie Laing
In Turkish.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
In Turkish. My role wasn't huge, but it was something. I had an accent, though, a Turkish accent that didn't sound. You could tell I was like, not in Turkish fully. And he went to me, you need to work on your accent. So he sent me to his schools. His schools where they, like an RP for Turkish lessons. He funded it. I went. And then on my Turkish got better. And then he went, well, we're gonna put you in a. In a soap. My dad was like, you sure this man's not, like, bribe grooming you? And I went, no, dad. Like, he's really not. Like, it's nothing. And then I got a role in a. It's a really. My acting's really bad. This. It's like a doctor's Turkish version of Doctors, right?
Jamie Laing
Yeah.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
And I'm like, doing an operation on someone. And it was really bad. Acting started from that, then to another one, and then to another one where it was a huge one. And that was when I was in it for, like a year, just before COVID And it's when I had the bandana on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So my dad was intrigued, was, I want to meet, you know.
Jamie Laing
Yeah.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
He's really well known. So my dad comes to Turkey, we all have, like, dinner. He sees everything's, you know, professional, legit, and. No, the. The man just wants me to do well. Like, there's nothing underneath it. He sees the star qualities, like, you know, she needs to shine. Then weirdly, you're gonna laugh at this. We had a dinner, right, with the director guy. It was like an end of year performance dinner.
Jamie Laing
Yeah.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
There was, like, this Turkish drink called raki. I don't know if you've had it. It's like gray. We were all drinking that. And then there was a. They went to me, I can go on stage and sing. So I went, I'll sing. I took the mic, I sang I will always love you. And in the audience, there was a geezer on his phone recording it. And he was signing music from Turkey, recording it, sent it to the director, and he went, who's that? And then after the dinner, they came up to me, we need to talk to you. And I went, yeah, I'm really drunk. They go, do you want a record label? And I went, what? You're. What? I'm thinking it's a joke. So I'm going, yeah, yeah, sure, whatever. Drunk. And he went, here's my card. We'll start recording in two weeks. Didn't ring the card because I thought it was a fraud for a while. And then somehow they found my details, told my family, they said, this is crazy. You sure this is real? We had to look into it again. All Real. Went into the studios. They sponsored the song. I didn't pay or anything for the track. Shot the music video with this other girl. It's. It's on YouTube and it's me and this blonde girl singing the song. And it went viral. So, yeah, it's mental.
Jamie Laing
What?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah, I've done everything.
Jamie Laing
Can you. Can you. Can you sing the chorus?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Maybe after a few shots, maybe I will.
Jamie Laing
How does the chorus. How does it. How does it hum it? How does it.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
It's just a Turkish song, you know.
Jamie Laing
That was beautiful.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
No, it wasn't, but thank you.
Jamie Laing
Okay, wait, hang on. So then you get seen by someone in Love Island. Someone reaches out to you for Love Island.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Oh, Love Island's another weird one. No, no, that's really crazy.
Jamie Laing
So, Ekan, your life.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
My life is.
Jamie Laing
This is wild. Yeah, but you must be a natural. Manifesto. You must.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Oh, I believe in it 100%. Do you believe in it?
Jamie Laing
Yeah. 100? Yeah. A million trillion guys.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
It. You need to manifest your life.
Jamie Laing
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Really believe in it.
Jamie Laing
You gotta work hard. You gotta go for it, but you've really gotta. You gotta visualize it. Yeah, it does.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Nothing can get in the way. You gotta. But no. So the Love island thing was a flip of a coin, and it was a weird one because. So the manager I have now, I'd known for, like, 11 years. We met Neil Force One Management at a PA event at my uni. He brought Mark Wright, and I was a fan of Mark Wright, and we met. So we stayed in friends for, like, 11 years. Then when I was in Turkey, I got an offer for a role for a movie. It was huge. This is just before Love Island. I was like, yeah, my God, this is my big time. To really, you know, make it big in Turkey and stuff. Then I had a really, really weird dream that I won Love Island. But there was, like, fireworks. I didn't even think Of Love Island. I won it. I'm standing at the final. Man's face is blurred. I don't know who the hell he was at the time. A blonde presenter. And the winner is. Ekinsu. I rang my manager the next day, and I said, neil, I've just had this dream. And he laughed for a good 30 minutes on the phone. He went, you wish, and hung up. And then I said to him, should we do. Should I want to apply? And he went to him, okay, fine. Didn't think I'd even get through because my answers were bonkers, like, weird. Like, what's your talent? I can twist my arm all the way back, whatever. What, do you believe in aliens? It wasn't. I was doing it for banter and then put my application through. Time went on, the movie script came, and I was learning my lines. I had a call one day. I was in the hairdresser in Turkey getting my hair blonde. This is before I went in. I was blonde back then. And they were like, right, Ekin, this is itv, we, you know, production of Love Island. We really want you. Can you. Can you. Can you do Love Island? Let's just throw you in the deep end. And I was like, just one second. They were bleaching my hair, and I put the phone down and I just need to get out the hairdresser. And I was like, this is what? Because I'm preparing myself for the role. Bear in mind, there's, like a month left until I have to film. We did something really crazy that night. I had to flip a coin. Heads or tails? Heads would be, I'm doing Love Island. Tails would be, I'm doing the film. I did it twice, and guess what? It landed on Love Island. Yeah. And then things changed.
Jamie Laing
You did Love island on a flip of a coin.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
A flip of a coin. I left it to the universe, the gods, to decide, because I didn't know. I thought, if I do Love island, my acting career's gone. Because it's. There's such a. You know, there's a saying, if you do reality tv, it's hard to.
Jamie Laing
Yeah, I get that.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Go back into something like that. Yeah.
Jamie Laing
Had you seen previous Love island series?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Probably Molly May's one. That's all I saw.
Jamie Laing
That's all you saw?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah.
Jamie Laing
What was it about it? Because you're in this act, you're doing acting. It's in Turkey. You've got this career going on, but then you have this opportunity to do Love island, and, yeah, it's a huge global show. Why do you pick it. I know it's a flipper coin, but the, the sort of non risky, sort of safe, one would say, oh, I'm just gonna stay doing this 100.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah, yeah.
Jamie Laing
But you saw it maybe as an opportunity.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I went to a tarot reader after. Call me crazy. Call me crazy. Crazy. I am crazy. And the tarot reader that said it swayed me to Love Island. It said, your future's bright, just trust the coin. And I was like, it's like a movie. My life's a movie, Jamie. I knew that it was a risk, of course. Like, who wouldn't want to do the movie? I thought I was going to leave in week one, so I didn't deep love Ireland too much. I thought I could always go back to Turkey. Do you know what I mean? So I thought, what's the worst? You know, I'll just go home in a week or two, have a laugh on the show, maybe find someone and then go home.
Jamie Laing
And also, you're right, you could always go back to Turkey.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Always.
Jamie Laing
Yeah, that was going to be there, so it's fine.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah.
Jamie Laing
What was the experience like when you first were in there?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Love Island?
Jamie Laing
Yeah.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I was just. I wasn't there for friends, I wasn't there for seasonal girlfriends. I was like, this is not friendship show, this is Love Island. And I knew. I said to producers, when I want something, I'll go and get it. I'm not afraid of stepping on toes. I was like, I'm brutal like that. I said, those girls better watch out. And hey, who it was. It was a ride. It was a ride because obviously I met Davide at the time and there was a lot of highs and lows. I remember just feeling I was on a ride and it was just always like rocking back and forth.
Jamie Laing
But you fell in love.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I did.
Jamie Laing
I know you haven't spoken about it publicly, so I understand you may not want to and that's totally. I get it. I totally understand. But it is. Going into that show and then leaving in such a public relationship. Oh, that's a lot.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Listen, that's a lot.
Jamie Laing
Dude.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Being with a bloke in a relationship is hard enough. It is like, come on and then be in public for being globally hyped up and everyone wanted a bit of us. So much pressure to be this thing called ekinde. That's what our name was like. There was like so much like obsession with both of us that almost like we had to be that perfect couple. But was it perfect? Is the question.
Jamie Laing
Cause then you have the pressure you get an ITV show afterwards.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah.
Jamie Laing
And then that's a lot. So then you're becoming like a couple together on a show and it's like, oh, God. So then what is it? If we break up, is that all gonna go?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Exactly. And that was always in my head. Cause because when things weren't going well, there was always an element of, oh, if we break up, that's gonna be another thing. It's gonna be like, well, what have people gonna start. Yeah, it's hard.
Jamie Laing
It's hard. It really is hard.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Then you've gotta talk about it, you know, in every single interview. What? I just felt like I wanted my private life back at that moment. Cause I didn't want the whole world to know the real reasons, you know?
Jamie Laing
And you never spoke about the real reasons.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Half dead. Still stuff that I've not spoken about, which I feel like it's private and he knows. He knows. But, yeah, it will always stay like that.
Jamie Laing
Good on you, by the way.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Thank you. And I do wish him well. I genuinely wish him well. Like, he's got a girlfriend now. From what I've heard. He's in LA living his life. And he deserves happiness too. Like, we had a relationship that was in the past. Wonderful memories. I'll always treasure them. But I'm happy too. And it's. Isn't that nice when exes can move on and find people that can be happy with.
Jamie Laing
Egan, you've been absolutely amazing.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
No, I've listened. I feel like I've been speaking to a best friend.
Jamie Laing
Oh, man, I really do.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
You've made me feel so honest and ease and comfortable. So I thank you for this.
Jamie Laing
No, you're incredible. And I. Yeah, you're brilliant. You really, really are. And I'm just excited to see where you go. And I hope you and Curtis get married.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Cause honestly, you guys will be front row seats.
Jamie Laing
100% all. I just can't get over Curtis's like, sayings. You're like an onion.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Oh, my God, have you seen those Tiktoks? Hello, darling. You look like an onion. Just want to peel your layers off, darling. Squidward from spongebob.
Jamie Laing
Eka. We'd like to end the conversation with eight questions. Are you ready for it?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yes.
Jamie Laing
What's the saying or phrase that always makes you smile or cheers you up?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Where there is life, there is love.
Jamie Laing
It's a good one. Best compliment anyone's ever given you.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Probably how? I don't. I see everyone equal.
Jamie Laing
That's amazing.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah.
Jamie Laing
100. That's the way to do life 100 without a doubt. I love that.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Thank you.
Jamie Laing
What scares you most about yourself?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Probably being repulsive. You know, acting on. When I you.
Jamie Laing
You vomit straight away.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah.
Jamie Laing
So yeah, it can be.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I'm working on it.
Jamie Laing
Reactive. When was the last time you cried?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
It was probably in Love island. You know, I was hurt. I felt like betrayal. It felt like cheating at the time. Yeah. Some people said it was crocodile tears, but hey, I'll take that. But it was real tears.
Jamie Laing
That moment actually in Love island where you grabbed him and kissed him in the most passionate way was unbelievable.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Watching back see, it's so funny. I don't know why, but it felt really intense at the time. I loved was amazing. That's how me and Kurt Sar are indoors as well. We're very like that.
Jamie Laing
Passionate? Well, yeah, like you're theatrical. He's theatrical. It's passion everywhere. It's unbelievable. What's something you can't let go of? Could be anything.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I can't let go of. I feel like what I can't let go somewhere. When people misjudged, misunderstand me and I get misjudged. I think that kind of still sticks on to me. It's like, please get to know me. I'm not what you think of me, you know, it's annoying when that happens and I can't let it go sometimes.
Jamie Laing
That's fair, you know, that's very fair. What's your guilty pleasure?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Chocolate. Every day I have stacks of it in my. In my chocolate. In my chocolate box. I have it all the time. It's my guilty pleasure. I also regret it when I eat it, but yeah.
Jamie Laing
What turns you off?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
What turns me off is people who are very judgmental have very like opinionated, two faced, not authentic. Turns me off.
Jamie Laing
What turns you on?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Intelligence. When someone's smart, it really turns me on.
Jamie Laing
What do you like most about yourself?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I treat everyone the same. I'm humble in my ways. I make people feel comfortable. I. I just treat everyone with respect. I mean I can't explain. I just love everyone and I love that about. There's no sort of ego about myself.
Jamie Laing
Yeah, that's.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
And that's just something I recognized.
Jamie Laing
Yeah. Amazing.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Yeah.
Jamie Laing
Bonus. Favorite swear word.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Can I say it here?
Jamie Laing
Yeah, you can.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
See you next Tuesday.
Jamie Laing
Well. What is that?
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Cunt. Not to you. You know.
Jamie Laing
You are a queen. Thank you so much.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
No, thank you.
Jamie Laing
You are the best. Thank you so much for coming on.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I loved it.
Jemima
That was so good.
Jamie Laing
Wasn't that great?
Jemima
I loved it.
Jamie Laing
She was Very honest.
Jemima
Very honest.
Jamie Laing
I like her a lot.
Jemima
I feel like I get her a bit more as well.
Jamie Laing
Yeah, I do. And I think she's hungry and driven, but also kind and caring. And I liked her energy. Her energy was good.
Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
I like that.
Jemima
She's just also like a bit of a weirdo.
Jamie Laing
Yeah, she's a bit of a nerd.
Jemima
Bit of a nerd. But like a really, really good looking one.
Jamie Laing
Yeah, she's really a really hot nerd.
Jemima
When she sat down and the camera was on her, I was looking at the monitor. I was like, I actually don't think I've ever seen anyone sit down and immediately glow in that way.
Jamie Laing
Yeah, she was amazing. And Ekan, if you're listening, we absolutely adore you. You were brilliant in every single way. We hope you guys enjoyed listening to it as well. Our wonderful owls. There we go. PJ producer Jemima saying that PJ may. And we hope that you enjoy these shows. If you do enjoy these shows, please, please, please keep subscribing to the show and keep listening to it and keep supporting it in lots of different ways. And write in the comments section who our next guest should be. Maybe that's on YouTube or just where you're listening to this. You can also email us greatcompanyproductions.co.uk or you can sign to our DMs@greatcompany podcast. Let us know what you think of the show.
Jemima
That's been wonderful.
Jamie Laing
That's been wonderful.
Jemima
It's been wonderful.
Jamie Laing
And we're gonna see you next week for another episode of Great Company.
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Podcast Summary: "EKIN-SU: I KEPT THE REAL ME LOCKED UP"
Episode Details
In this deeply personal and engaging episode of Great Company with Jamie Laing, host Jamie Laing welcomes Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu, a prominent reality TV personality known for her appearances on shows like Love Island, The Traitors (U.S.), and Big Brother. Ekin-Su opens up about her tumultuous journey through fame, personal struggles, and the quest for authentic self-expression amidst the pressures of the public eye.
Ekin-Su shares insights into her childhood, highlighting a creative and performative upbringing. Growing up in Islington and later moving to Tottenham, she faced significant challenges, including bullying and feelings of isolation.
"[12:52] I've lost weight to gain acceptance, but the experience of bullying left deep scars." – Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
She discusses the impact of her parents' divorce when she was 21, revealing how it influenced her later relationships and her perception of love.
"[15:46] My parents' divorce was a pivotal moment that shaped my understanding of relationships and trust." – Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Ekin-Su's passion for performance led her to pursue acting after completing a degree in finance. Her transition from finance to acting was marked by a series of serendipitous events, including an unexpected invitation to participate in a play in Turkey.
"[55:06] I did a play in Turkey, and a director saw me sing and offered me a role. It was surreal." – Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Her burgeoning acting career was briefly diverted when she decided to take a risk by auditioning for Love Island, a decision influenced by a prophetic dream and encouragement from a tarot reader.
Ekin-Su delves into her Love Island experience, discussing the intense public scrutiny and the pressures of maintaining a relationship on a reality TV platform. She recounts meeting Curtis on the show and the complexities of sustaining a genuine connection amidst constant media attention.
"[65:15] Being on Love Island meant every aspect of our relationship was under the microscope, which was both exhilarating and exhausting." – Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
She reflects on the challenges of breaking up publicly and the fear of how personal relationships are perceived by the audience.
A significant portion of the conversation focuses on Ekin-Su's struggles with mental health, including depression and anxiety triggered by her experiences on reality TV. She candidly discusses her journey towards healing, emphasizing the importance of therapy and self-acceptance.
"[40:24] I never thought I'd be in that dark place, but therapy helped me realize my worth beyond the public persona." – Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Ekin-Su highlights the disparity in how mental health is perceived for women in the public eye, advocating for greater empathy and understanding.
"[36:34] Women's struggles in the industry often go unnoticed or are overly scrutinized, making mental health support crucial." – Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Ekin-Su discusses her current relationship with Curtis, expressing optimism and a sense of self-empowerment. They share mutual respect and understanding, which they attribute to overcoming past traumas and supporting each other's growth.
"[47:39] Everything about us clicks – our humor, our thinking – it feels like we've found our perfect match." – Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Looking ahead, Ekin-Su expresses a desire to continue her journey of self-discovery and to leverage her experiences to inspire others facing similar challenges.
"[54:32] I want to use my platform to encourage others to embrace their true selves and seek help when needed." – Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
The episode concludes with Ekin-Su and Jamie Laing reflecting on the importance of authenticity, resilience, and the power of self-love. Ekin-Su emphasizes that true beauty emanates from within and encourages listeners to cultivate inner confidence.
"[30:27] There's only one you, and embracing your unique self is the key to genuine happiness." – Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu
Ekin-Su's journey serves as a testament to the strength it takes to maintain one's true self amidst external pressures and the transformative power of self-acceptance.
This episode of Great Company provides a raw and honest exploration of Ekin-Su's life, offering listeners invaluable insights into the complexities of fame, mental health, and personal growth. Ekin-Su's vulnerability and resilience make for a compelling narrative that resonates deeply with anyone navigating similar challenges.
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Note: Timestamps are approximate and correspond to significant moments within the conversation.