EMILY ATACK: I'VE ONLY ENJOYED SEX A HANDFUL OF TIMES

Summary

Podcast Summary: Great Company with Jamie Laing – Episode Featuring Emily Atack

Episode Details:

• Title: EMILY ATACK: I'VE ONLY ENJOYED SEX A HANDFUL OF TIMES
• Release Date: November 6, 2024
• Host: Jamie Laing
• Guest: Emily Atack

Introduction

In this poignant and engaging episode of Great Company with Jamie Laing, host Jamie delves deep into the multifaceted life of actress and activist Emily Atack. From her early experiences with body image and fame to her challenges with motherhood and advocacy against sexual harassment, Emily offers a candid and heartfelt conversation that resonates with many.

Early Life and Body Image

Emily begins by reflecting on her childhood obsessions and early awareness of sexuality. She shares, “[00:06] I was so obsessed with boys… playing Kiss Chase from nursery day” (00:06), highlighting how early experiences shaped her attachment styles and perceptions of relationships. This early fixation laid the groundwork for her later struggles with body image, especially as she entered the public eye.

Career and Public Perception

As Emily discusses her role in The Inbetweeners, she opens up about unexpected body image issues that surfaced post-fame. “[10:18] … I couldn't believe how awful it was, people talking about my weight” (10:18), she confides. Despite maintaining a healthy relationship with food and never dieting, public scrutiny led to conflicting messages about her appearance. While some praised her for being a curvier actress, others harshly criticized her, leaving Emily feeling confused and insecure.

Motherhood and Pregnancy

Transitioning to motherhood, Emily shares the profound changes and challenges she faced. “[17:38] Being pregnant and looking at your body in such a different way… it's completely desexualized” (17:38), she explains. The pressure to “snap back” to her pre-pregnancy physique intensified her struggles with body image. Emily candidly discusses her difficulties with breastfeeding and the emotional toll of a miscarriage, emphasizing the intense pressure public figures face to maintain a certain image even during vulnerable times.

Campaigning Against Sexual Harassment

Emily’s advocacy work is a significant focus of the conversation. She passionately discusses the importance of affirmative consent laws, stating, “[48:00] … affirmative consent law… men are getting away with that” (48:00). Emily underscores the need for legal reforms to protect both parties in sexual encounters, aiming to shift societal attitudes and reduce the stigmatization of victims. Her dedication to creating a safer world for her son and all women is palpable throughout the discussion.

Role in 'Rivals' and Ownership of Sexuality

Discussing her latest role in the Disney show Rivals, Emily addresses the balance between portraying sexualized characters and maintaining personal autonomy. “[56:26] … take ownership again of that is really liberating and powerful” (56:26), she asserts. Emily emphasizes that her participation in such roles is integral to the story, not merely for the male gaze, showcasing her commitment to empowering portrayals of women in media.

Personal Reflections and Quickfire Questions

In the latter part of the episode, Emily engages in a series of quickfire questions, offering listeners intimate glimpses into her personality:

• Favorite Sayings: “If you love someone, let them sleep” (58:26).
• Most Embarrassing Likes: Singing passionately at parties, leading to humorous anecdotes about morning-after regrets (63:06).
• Coping Mechanisms: Emphasizing positivity and dismissing negativity, stating, “Just shit vibes… be nice” (64:41).
• Personal Strengths: Proudly declaring herself a good mother, highlighting her dedication and love for her child (66:00).

Concluding Thoughts

Jamie and co-host Sophie commend Emily for her articulate and entertaining discourse on serious topics, praising her ability to blend humor with heartfelt revelations. “[68:39] … very entertaining way and she's very funny as well” (68:39), Sophie remarks. The episode wraps up with encouraging words for listeners to engage with the podcast and follow Emily’s ongoing projects and activism.

Notable Quotes:

• “[10:18] … I couldn't believe how awful it was, people talking about my weight.”
• “[17:38] Being pregnant and looking at your body in such a different way… it's completely desexualized.”
• “[48:00] … affirmative consent law… men are getting away with that.”
• “[56:26] … take ownership again of that is really liberating and powerful.”
• “[66:00] The fact that I can now say I'm a really good mother.”

Final Thoughts

This episode of Great Company offers a raw and insightful exploration of Emily Atack’s journey through fame, motherhood, and activism. Her openness about personal struggles and dedication to advocating for societal change provides valuable lessons and inspiration for listeners. Whether grappling with body image issues, navigating the pressures of public life, or championing important causes, Emily’s story is both relatable and empowering.

Transcript

[Kristen]

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[Emily Atak]

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[Kristen]

Well, I've been looking for my phone for.

[Emily Atak]

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[Kristen]

That's a great offer.

[Emily Atak]

I know. Sell.

[Jamie Laing]

Sell.

[Emily Atak]

Track your car's value with Carvana Value Tracker today.

[Kristen]

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[Jemima]

You're halfway through a DIY car fix, tools scattered everywhere, and boom. You realise you're missing a part. It's okay because, you know, whatever it is, it's on ebay. They've got everything. Brakes, headlights, cold air intakes. Whatever you need. And it's guaranteed to fit. Which means no more crossing your fingers and hoping you ordered the right thing. All the parts you need at prices you'll love. Guaranteed to fit every time. Ebay. Things people love.

[Jamie Laing]

Hello, everyone. My name is Jamie Laing and this is Great Company. Hello, everyone.

[Sophie]

Hello, everyone.

[Jamie Laing]

Hello, everyone. Welcome back to Great Company Podcast with my wonderful co host, producer. In a way, it's Jemima.

[Sophie]

That's how everyone always wants to be introduced. This is my wife, in a way. I'm not his wife. Sorry, I'm referring to when he introduces Sophie. And this is my. My husband. Husband in a way. My talent, in a way, it actually is.

[Jamie Laing]

I'm Jemima's protege. My name is Jamie. I'm the host of this podcast, Great Company. Welcome to the show. Jemima is the producer and if you just tuned in, she sits with me on all these shows and we talk about the things I've done right, I've done wrong. Talk about what you maybe have done right and wrong, and you give a little insight to what happens behind the scenes as well.

[Sophie]

Yeah, I mean, if you have any questions to do, do, write them in.

[Jamie Laing]

That's a really interesting. If you do have Any questions that you want to know about the producing of the show or hosting of the show, please do write it in our email. Is Great Company Podcast.

[Sophie]

Great Company.

[Jamie Laing]

Great company@jumper productions.co.uk or you can slide into our DMS@GreatCompany podcast. We see them all, which is amazing.

[Sophie]

I'm very glad that you've just given all that information because I have another request.

[Jamie Laing]

Yep.

[Sophie]

That I would like people to get in touch about. We do eight questions at the end of every episode, and there is one which I don't think either of us.

[Jamie Laing]

Are very sure of, which is the one where tell us something that you are embarrassed that, you know, you like that people.

[Sophie]

Yeah, people would be. You'd be embarrassed for people to know that you like or want. Lots of people. I feel like we're both. We are about this one. So, I mean, a little bit of info behind how we came up with those questions is we wanted to kind of touch on different emotions. So there's ones that touch on, like, joy, fear, sadness. And we don't really have any about anger.

[Jamie Laing]

We don't have any about anger, but we wanted to touch on all the emotions. And they're great questions. But I think what you're asking is if you have a better question we can ask at the end or maybe some ideas or questions that we should ask, please let us know because we would love to hear.

[Sophie]

I'm open to changing one of the eight.

[Jamie Laing]

Yeah. And we will reference you if it's your question that we. That we choose. We'll celebrate you. Um, okay. Today's episode, we have Emily Atak.

[Sophie]

Oh, lovely Emily Atak.

[Jamie Laing]

Lovely Emily. I'm friends with Emily. I've been friends with her for a while. Quite a long time now.

[Sophie]

Where did you meet?

[Jamie Laing]

She. I met her. She came to my live show when I had another podcast many years ago.

[Sophie]

The one that you ran naked in.

[Jamie Laing]

Yes. Emily is incredible. She is not only just giving birth, she. So she's a mama. She also campaigns against sexual harassment. She is incredible. Shows like the Inbetweeners and this new Disney show, Rivals, which is out now, which you can go and watch on Disney. She's an incredible person and is really passionate about certain things. So I'm really excited to talk to her today.

[Sophie]

I agree.

[Jamie Laing]

Are you ready for this?

[Sophie]

I'm very ready.

[Jamie Laing]

Okay, producer Jemima, let's go, please. Welcome to the podcast, Emily Atak.

[Emily Atak]

Hi, I'm Emily Atak. And you know what? I am fucking great company. Actually.

[Jamie Laing]

My bebo like status was live Fast Die Young.

[Emily Atak]

Oh, for fuck's sake.

[Jamie Laing]

It's like the worst. But that was a sort of attitude of the 90s and the early 2000s and that kind of like, fast paced, hectic life.

[Emily Atak]

Yeah. My MSN name for ages was M is Bad. M is I Z, M is Bad. Like, that was my thing. And then my other msn, my msm, I was. Bobby is a slut. What does that even mean? Barbie is a slut.

[Jamie Laing]

When it came to sort of love and things like that, were you quite good at being like, God, here we go, here we go. Look at this. Straight in there.

[Emily Atak]

Honestly, I was so obsessed, right? The issue was, yeah, I watched too many Disney films and I was obsessed with Hanson. The band Hanson. Yeah, yeah. Sorry, the MBOP Boys.

[Jamie Laing]

That's my favorite.

[Emily Atak]

It's. They're the best band ever. I was. I fancied them so badly. Like, not just. Oh, yeah, they were like my crush. I was deeply. Like, I was. They broke my heart.

[Jamie Laing]

Sorry. So Hanson.

[Emily Atak]

Hanson, yeah. Yes. And I'm very serious about this. I wrote. I wrote them when I was about 6 or 7. I wrote to their fan club telling them how much I loved them and they never responded. So that was my first rejection. The complexities of my attachment styles started there because it was the first time I'd been rejected by three men at once.

[Jamie Laing]

Yeah. And three brothers.

[Emily Atak]

Three brothers. Beautiful brothers. I was so obsessed that I cannot explain it. And I would, like, cry to my mum, saying, like, I want them all to be my boyfriend. Like, I don't know what to do. I was so obsessed with boys in that way. So boys at school, it was like, I wasn't interested in playing with the toys and, you know, in the sand pits or anything. It was playing Kiss Chase with all the boys. Like, that was my thing from Nursery Day.it was, right, boys. I was obsessed.

[Jamie Laing]

So I played Kiss Chase as well.

[Emily Atak]

Yeah.

[Jamie Laing]

My first kiss, Eliza.

[Emily Atak]

The poshest name ever.

[Jamie Laing]

Eliza. But it's quite a weird game, like, now, thinking about it. But I wasn't.

[Emily Atak]

Yeah, it's a bit. Is it weird?

[Jamie Laing]

Because we were just chasing each other, trying to kiss each other, but we were six years old, so maybe there's.

[Emily Atak]

Forgiveness there, but that's where it all starts. Kiss Chase. You're being chased by the boys and the boys love the chase, but as soon as they get you and they go to kiss you, they do a Jamie Lang and go, actually, I really regret this and then run away. It's boys like you that have really killed us. Our whole life.

[Jamie Laing]

But what has the been obsession with. Because I had it as well. What was it the obsession with boys growing up?

[Emily Atak]

I just, I can't describe it. I think, I can't say this there.

[Jamie Laing]

You can, you can say anything you want.

[Emily Atak]

I was just really, like, I was just very sexually aware from a very young age. Sorry. My sister's face, like. Oh, head and hands. I would just, I don't know, like, I just wanted, I didn't want to do anything naughty or gross, like no sexy things. I was too young for that. It was more like I wanted to be, like, really looked after by loving a lovely man.

[Jamie Laing]

I know. Listen.

[Emily Atak]

And I wanted my prince. I was obsessed with having a prince. I wanted my prince. And I wanted to go off on a, on a horse into the sunset, like they do in the films. I watched too many Disney films. I thought that's the way life was gonna be. And then I started fancying all the Disney villains. And that's when it all went wrong.

[Jamie Laing]

I'm with you. Cause I remember when I was a kid. I don't know how we've got here, but I'm just gonna go with it. I, I was, I was really, I think, sexually aware as a kid.

[Emily Atak]

Yeah.

[Jamie Laing]

I, I, this is. I can't believe I'm gonna admit this to you, but I will. I remember one night, I, I must have been about 6 years old, and I had seen a. I had seen something that my sister, because my sister was much older, and it must have been like a dominatrix thing. Like, it was on television where it was a person, this woman was spanking this, this man with a sort of paddle. So I went downstairs, stole my mum's wooden spoon, and got into bed and thought I should try and spank myself.

[Emily Atak]

Oh, you didn't put it up your bum.

[Jamie Laing]

Oh, okay, I didn't put it up my bum. But I did do that because I was so. There was this world and this awareness and same as you. I then became sort of obsessed with girlfriends and Disney and magazines. Magazines. And my first love was Nala.

[Emily Atak]

Yes. Well, my first love was the candle from Beauty and the Beast. So I don't know what's weirder, an animal or a candle. Yeah, but no, I get it. I completely get it. But that's really, that was how those films were designed. Like that, that candle from Beauty and the Beast. The way he get, he gets all, like. I remember he used to sort of, you know, slightly have it off with the feather duster. And I was like, so Jealous of that feather duster. She'd be like, oh, no. And, oh, yes, oh, no. And it was things like that. I'd be like, oh, my God, my twinkle feels funny. You know, it's confusing. It's really confusing. As a child.

[Jamie Laing]

Was there a moment when suddenly you had. In your career, you've done inbetweeners, you're suddenly shot to this fame, which. And it was.

[Emily Atak]

It was.

[Jamie Laing]

It's the biggest comedy of the decade. In betweeners, like. Like, it really was. It was so huge. Do you suddenly, then, was there a moment that you suddenly felt insecure, you suddenly grew awareness and you suddenly went, oh, shit, what's happened here?

[Emily Atak]

Do you know what? It all started with my weight. Because I. At first, I'd never had a complexity, a complex about my weight ever. I'd never thought I was overweight. I was always fine with my body. I've always had such a healthy relationship with eating that I've never, ever had an issue with it. And then when I got the role of Charlotte in the In Betweeners, everybody started commenting on my way. And I remember this was like, before Facebook had only just started happening. It was like more chat forums rather than, you know, I think it was like. I think Instagram was only just breaking into. I didn't have Instagram. You know, it was literally just pages. There'd be Facebook pages about whatever you were doing. So, like, I remember there was a whole Facebook page dedicated to. To. To me, very nice to Charlotte Inchcliffe. But I just couldn't believe how awful it was, people talking about my weight, saying. But then people would sort of, you know, then try and be positive and go, but at least, you know, we're seeing curvier girls now playing sexier roles on television. I'm like, I didn't even know I was curvy. I was like a size 8 or something. I was like the tiniest, had the tiny little body and. And. But to some people, this was like the first time people had seen a girl that wasn't. That wasn't really, really skinny. I hate that word skinny, but really, really slim. Like, what word could I use?

[Jamie Laing]

I know you mean.

[Emily Atak]

Yeah, really, like actresses, you know, they were so used to seeing very, very, very, very underweight actresses playing the leads, sort of the lead sexy girls, the fit girls. We're talking about yourself in this way.

[Jamie Laing]

But, like, it's. Honestly, I promise you, and this is like, it will help so many people. So just talk it through.

[Emily Atak]

Well, and I. I started seeing. I started seeing online, like, people Talking about my weight and saying that, you know, oh my God, she, she, this girl is so overweight. How is she even cast in this role? And some people go, no, it's actually really healthy to see a curvier actress in, in this role. But I didn't even know I was curvy. So I was kind of going, well, hang on a minute, I've been asked to play the fit girl at school. So I was like, hey, yeah, great, I must be really pretty then. I must be really attractive. But then I'm being told that I'm a fat, ugly piece of shit. So it's like, but then I'm still doing the, I was still the poster girl for the in between. So I was still doing all these lads mags and posing in my underwear, people saying I was sexy and beautiful, but then some people saying I was fat and ugly. So it's so confusing because it's just I was like, well, I don't really know who I am anymore. I don't really know. You know, at 17 years old, that's so tricky. That is a rough road to go down. Luckily, I've, I've, I've never ever had any kind of any unhealthy eating habits or dieting. I, honestly, I'm so lucky, Honestly, I am so lucky that I have never, ever in my life. I don't go on diets. I don't go on diets. I've, there have been times in my life where I go, right, I've got to lay off the wine for a bit and get in shape for this new role or, you know, and, or for my mental health. I go to the gym a little bit more. But I've never ever, ever given into that. I've never, ever, I've never ever become thinner because of being called fat and overweight because I've had to really, really train my brain over and over again. You're not fat, you're not fat, you're not fat, you're not fat. And that's, yeah, that's really, really tough.

[Jamie Laing]

What does that do to your, to, to someone's mental state? Because if you, if you have, it's. God, I, I, I'm doing it now.

[Emily Atak]

I'm, I'm conscious now. I'm conscious now about my, what did I say to you when I came in? I said, can we, can we film me from my right hand side? Because for some reason when I get filmed on this side, I've got a load of chins there. But I don't have chins on this side. I know for a fact that when this goes out, I've just had a baby. I know people are going to. I'm going to get an onslaught of people saying that I look massive and that I haven't lost the baby weight yet and, oh, Christ, get her on a zempic. You know, it's for some reason with women and men get this too, of course, but it is harder for women. There is something about weight and actually, I'm going to exclude men from this. Do it for a while, for a second. Because there's. There's a certain love, a toxic love language that we've created as women. This is how we communicate. We talk about our weight constantly. It's how we greet each other. We go, oh, my God. Hi, skinny mini. You look nice. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Have you lost weight? Have you lost. It's just verbal diarrhea that comes out. I do it, I see friends and the first thing I say is, oh, you look slim. I don't know what. I might not even think it, but it's the first thing that comes out my mouth. I comment on my girlfriend's weights. It's what we do, it's what we talk about. We talk about the diets that we're on. And I know that sounds so stereotypical, but it is what we talk about. And this, it's become this, I call it this toxic love language that we've created amongst each other. I don't know if that's because of the ridiculous beauty standards that we have for the male gaze that we think that we have to uphold. I don't know if it's that. I don't know if it's. If it's. If it's competitiveness between each other as women. I don't know what the fuck it is, but it's this awful thing that hasn't changed where we can't stop talking about weight. It drives me mental and especially I'm going off a little bit.

[Jamie Laing]

But I do it because this is.

[Emily Atak]

Really important, especially since having a baby. There is something quite liberating about having a baby that you.

[Jamie Laing]

What is liberating about it?

[Emily Atak]

Well, you. Your body goes through so much and you genuinely look at your body as a completely different vessel. My whole life, my body was used for something completely different. It was to be. To be sexualized and to sell a show and to, you know, my body has been something my whole life. That has always been that and having. Being pregnant and kind of be kind of being desexualized in a way. I mean, let me tell you now, when you're pregnant, you ain't being wolf whistled at anymore. You know, you're not. You're not at all. You're completely desexualized. And so being pregnant and looking at your body in such a different way, your body goes through all these changes. You create a human inside you. You are keeping them alive, exhausted. Yes. And then you have to. Then you give birth to that child, which, by the way, is mental. No one actually tells you how mental it is giving birth. It's mental. No, it's mental for 24 hours trying to push a human out of you, only to be told last minute, we're gonna have to cut you open. Oh, great. Cheers. Excellent. So you've just seen my asshole, you've seen my entirety, you've seen all my insides. You've gone right up there, Hand right up there. You've checked my dilation for the last 24 hours, told me how big my vagina was getting so that the baby was coming out in order to tell me last minute, sorry, love, we're gonna have to cut you open. Are you fucking kidding me? Great, great. So not only have you seen my bum hole and my vagina, you are now seeing my intestines, my insides, my rib cage. I don't know what's worse.

[Jamie Laing]

Oh, my God.

[Emily Atak]

Oh, Anyway, I don't know.

[Jamie Laing]

Is it. Is it?

[Emily Atak]

So then you go through all of that and then you come out with this beautiful baby. You're a mother, you get home, you are recovering from a C section, which is absolutely horrendous. You can't walk for weeks on end. You go through everything, it's horrendous. I couldn't walk for weeks. Couldn't walk. But they just. The hospital just go, right, bye, here's your baby. And you just have to deal with it. And you get home and the first thing people say to you is, when are you going to get back in the gym? Are you kid? I have literally. What do you mean, when am I going to get back in the gym? I've just created a human. I am exhausted. I've just tried to push a human out of me and had it ripped out my stomach. The last thing I want to do is go to the gym. But the first thing you're expected to do is get back into shape is you have to be slim again. I watched Oti Mabusi said this on a podcast the other day, and I was like, hallelujah, Someone's saying it. Why should we? We have to snap back into shape. We have to go back. We have to go back to being slim again, especially in this industry. But actually, it's not just this industry. It's just, it's the stat. It's the ridiculous beauty standard we have as women, full stop. Whether you're in the industry or not, for some reason, after you have a baby, you have to get rid of this baby weight. You go back in the gym. I'm sorry, but I have just. I've. I've literally. Where's the congratulations for growing a human and for being a mother and. And having to squeeze your nipples so hard into your baby's mouth so it can get milk and then not being able to get the milk out and then getting mastitis and being in bed for two weeks and having all these smells and liquids coming out of your body, out of Oris's orifices that you didn't know existed. Where's the little pat on the back you get for that? Instead? It's when you get him back in the gym, when are you going to get the baby weight off? Fuck you, man.

[Jamie Laing]

I mean, by the way, you're amazing for telling us all that, because. No, I really dying to say that.

[Emily Atak]

No.

[Jamie Laing]

And I can say, I think so many women, Women out there will just be going, thank you, thank you, thank you.

[Emily Atak]

That's terrific. That standard. And, you know, I'm not back in the gym at the minute. I've actually put on more weight since giving birth because.

[Jamie Laing]

And good on you.

[Emily Atak]

Yeah. I'm just enjoying this bit. My. My body has been through enough. The last thing I want to do is go to the gym. Let's face it, the gym is hell. The gym is awful.

[Jamie Laing]

Yeah.

[Emily Atak]

You don't like it, you put yourself through hell for an hour. I've just put myself through hell for the last year of, of creating a baby. Pregnancy is very tough, by the way. Yes. Yes. It's all roses. Oh, lovely, lovely. It's hard. It's. It's also awful. And I've just. My body has just been through that. Why would I put myself through the gym right now? No. And I'm enjoying having that Chinese takeaway on a Sunday evening and not feeling like a horrible slob on a Monday going, oh, but I need to. Oh, God. Yeah, but I didn't count calories over the weekend. I. I don't care at the minute. I'm giving myself a little bit of time off that I'm being a mother and I'M you know, I'm looking after my baby and I'm feeding my baby, making sure my baby is happy and alive and I'm a good mum. And you know, that for me at the moment is. That's. That's what I want to be applauded on. Not getting back in the gym quickly. Fuck that.

[Jamie Laing]

Tell me about what it's like to be a mum.

[Emily Atak]

Oh, my God.

[Jamie Laing]

I want the ups and the downs, the lefts and the rights.

[Emily Atak]

It's. It's the hardest thing in the world and it's. It's not. No, being a mum isn't awful, but there are. There are moments where it feels unbearable. It feels awful sometimes. Like, not the love you have for your child, but the pressures of it instantly, like. Well, like I just said, you know, the pressures that you feel to be a good mum, to be the perfect mum. Should I be doing this? Oh, God. Should I? You know, the breastfeeding thing for me was very, very difficult. I tried everything I could. I couldn't breastfeed. That has been a really, really difficult process. Yeah. And the baby just would not actually did it first. And then. And then he just. And then he stopped and he was getting thinner and thinner by the day. And I just thought, I've got to feed my baby, got to feed my child. And, you know, I got very ill. I got so, so ill with. With something called mastitis, which happens when the milk gets all kind of blocked up. And, you know, I was lying there, my baby was not being fed. I was like, I've got to feed my child, I've got to feed my child. And that.

[Jamie Laing]

So moments like, what's in your mind at that point?

[Emily Atak]

It is so difficult because I'm going, yeah, but everyone's gonna think I'm a shit mum because I can't breastfeed every. I. I've. I failed at the first hurdle. The first thing that I was meant to do was breastfeed my child and I can't even do that. You feel like you've fallen at the.

[Jamie Laing]

Best and you feel like you need to justify yourself as well, and of course you don't.

[Emily Atak]

And I know for a fact, even saying this now, I'll get backlash going, breast is best. But the irony that my tits have got me through my life and now they're not fucking working for me. Yeah, cheers. When I really needed you. When I really fucking needed you. Twats. But, yeah, like, I'm watching and I'll never forget this. Like, I remember I just bought Barney Home. And I was trying so hard to get into latch. I couldn't do it. And he was just screaming. He was trying, he was trying. And my mother. I literally had my mum, my partner, my cousin squeezing. There is a certain. You have to get like a certain angle for the nipple to go in the mouth. And at one point, I had six people on my boob like this, like, squeezing it in a certain angle. Squeezing. I was screaming in pain, like, trying to get just one tiny bit of milk out in the baby's mouth. And it was just. And everyone, Everyone was like discussing going, right, you hold that end, you hold this end. And at the time, they were like, massive. So they were. There was. You know, it took a. Took an army. And they were all so. And I had. I had my partner squeezing my nipple like that. Had my. My cousin squeezing the side of my boob. My mum squeezed. My mum hasn't touched my body like that since I was a baby. And yet all of a sudden people are there trying to get you to, you know, trying to feed this baby. And. Yeah, and it was. It was the most. And I remember sort of thinking. And I. And they were all sort of discussing, like, right, how should we, you know, how should we make this? How you try that and you try. And I just thought, wow, how lucky am I that I've got a family like this and a partner like this and all this help around me and, you know, and. But I still felt like I was failing. I couldn't feed my baby. And it's just horrific.

[Jamie Laing]

And then you have to go to the. And then you have to be in the public eye. Oh, hey. Oh, this is, you know, it's also great and happy and.

[Emily Atak]

Yeah, yeah. And I, you know, and you're sort of, you know, your people are. People are constantly watching your. Your behavior, like, oh, is she coping? You know, is she okay? I was so scared. I didn't leave my house for the first six weeks because I was so scared that a pap was gonna. Because I knew they were waiting for me. They were waiting for me at the end of the road. Yeah. On my private road.

[Jamie Laing]

They love you because they know with you they can sell those headlines.

[Emily Atak]

Is it love? Is it love?

[Jamie Laing]

I don't know, but they can sell. I tell you what, they know that you sell for them.

[Emily Atak]

Yeah. And they were waiting. They were waiting. I knew they were waiting at the end of the road. They were waiting for that shot. They were waiting for me to look knackered and be looking overweight and go, oh, Is she coping? You know, it sparks off this conversation and I didn't leave my house for. So I was just at home with the baby, trying so desperately to enjoy these beautiful moments, which I was, you know, that. God, he is just unbelievable. But the pressures are just so difficult. And then throw in the fact that you're in the public eye on top of that, that is. Most people don't have to worry about being photographed when they leave the house after they've just had a baby. You know, that was really horrible.

[Jamie Laing]

We've known each other for quite a long time now. There is so much that you've done in your career, but just what I didn't realize is you were doing. When you did In Betweeners and you became really famous. You were doing this sort of lads mags when you were 17 years. 17 years old, you were doing these magazines. I didn't realize you were so young when that was happening.

[Emily Atak]

Yeah, and it's. But it was confusing because I was very happy to do those photo shoots, you know, like, for example, fhm, the FHM days, right, of being on the COVID of fhm. I was so proud of that. And I would go to those photo shoots and have the best day. My mum would come with me, I'd got given a lovely lunch. I worked with all these amazing photographers, had these lovely people around me. The bet. Honestly, those photo shoots were so fun. Some people didn't have, you know, great experiences, but I can only speak from personal experience. I was so happy, just like living my best life, going, oh my God. Celebrating my youth, my body, my, you know, I'm never gonna look like that again, you know, And I, I did, I was, I was happ celebrate that. And at the time, that was the normal thing to do. You have a show coming out, you promote your work, you get your kit off and you do a front page of fhm. That is that. That was how it was. And I was fine with that. It was. It's the behavior and the, it's what spirals out of that. It's. It's the kind of negative, the negative domino effect.

[Jamie Laing]

Break that down to me. What happens.

[Emily Atak]

So I genuinely. So. And everybody also thinks as well that when you do stuff like this, it's for the male gaze, right? It's your floor. The language that's used in the, the tabloids. The tabloid. The articles that come out after those shoots, that then saying that you're parading, you're flaunting, you're this, you know. But even then I was like, well, Yeah, I mean, I'm promoting my show, this is what I'm doing, you know, but it's the narrative that, that narrative of parading and flaunting for the male gaze then has drip fed throughout my life into my real life. So now every time I walk down the street, I'm parading and flaunting my ample assets. You know, what really made me laugh was when I was pregnant, I thought naively, well, I think the headlines will kind of start changing now. Surely there'll be a shift. I'm a mother now, you know, they can't write about me in a salacious kind of way. And the first time they pat me walking down the road with a pregnant bump, it said, emily Aytat flaunts baby bump. So it's like you've got. So one minute I'm walking down the road flaunting my chest, my ample assets and parading my curves and, you know, figure hugging dress, and the next thing I'm flaunting my baby bump. So it's kind of like the narrative no matter what you do. And so people constantly say to me, oh, so, yeah, but it's, you're kind of saying, look at me, don't look at me, look at me, don't look at me. It's like, well, no, whatever happens, no matter, even if I cover up and I'm literally, I'm walking down the road with a baby bump. That narrative of you're flaunting it, you're parading it is always there. That narrative for a woman is always written if you've done things like lads mags and stuff in the past. So the problem now, when people, when men kind of go, well, hang on a minute, you're playing, you're playing all these kind of sexy roles. You're playing naked tennis in Jilly Cooper's new show Rivals. But then you're saying, you're saying, but don't look at me, but don't, but don't sexualize me. But it's really tricky because I, in my mind, I'm at work, I'm doing my job, I'm playing a role that requires nudity, that requires me to get my clothes off and do that. And it's not for I'm at work, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. And yet somehow that turns into me sometimes, somehow I'm saying, yeah. And it's kind of like the confusion. I, I'm not confused. I, I other, I think men are confused because they've been their whole Lives. They've been drip fed headlines to say that we're flaunting to say that we're doing this for the male gaze. So that when we turn around and say, please don't pinch my ass, please don't wolf whistle at me, they're confused and they go, but I thought you were public property. I thought you were for public consumption. I thought that because. And you know, and also people say don't believe anything you read. People believe everything they read and everything they consume. So if men, their whole lives have had that drip fed to them that we are flaunting for the male gaze, of course they're going to be confused when we turn around and say, but don't, but don't touch me. Don't, don't, don't overly sexualize me. You know, this is where men get very confused.

[Jamie Laing]

You're treated like a commodity. Yes, I went to the women of the year awards.

[Emily Atak]

Glamour.

[Jamie Laing]

Glamour.

[Emily Atak]

Women of the year.

[Jamie Laing]

Yeah. Because I, I wasn't accepting, I was not accepting an award. Sophie was invited, I went with her. And Katherine Rahn was hosting it and she was amazing. And quickly it made me realize in this room and to be honest, I was going, I was like, oh God, I've got to go to this thing Sophie shows. And actually I had an amazing time.

[Emily Atak]

I'm so glad because I suddenly realized.

[Jamie Laing]

And I'm sorry, I don't want to seem like I'm suddenly. Cause you're here. I'm sucking out twin. But I swear to God that I'm really honest on the show. I realized what asshol.

[Emily Atak]

Yes.

[Jamie Laing]

And I realized it from a female gaze. And I was like, oh shit, maybe I've been like a bit like, you know, flirty with someone or whatever.

[Emily Atak]

But that, but that, that is exactly the good thing. Men are getting so angry that they now have to think about their behavior. And they go, well, I don't know. Oh God, I'm too scared to even say someone looks nice anymore. The fact that you have to think about your behavior or past behavior, maybe regret some of the things and some of the choices you've made, that's a good thing. Women, every single day of their lives have to go out there and think about what wearing. Is this gonna attract negative attention? We have to constantly second guess everything we're doing and everything we're putting out there in case it sends the wrong message. So the fact that we've had to do that from day one. So the fact that men are now only just having to maybe look inward A tiny little bit and go, maybe I shouldn't have said that. Or shit, maybe I shouldn't say that. That's a good thing. Just take it on the chin. Take it on the fucking chin. We've been doing this since day one. The least you can do for us is slightly look inward and go, do you know what? Maybe I'm not gonna pinch her ass. Maybe I'm not. Maybe. Maybe I won't say that misogynistic thing. Like the fact that you just have to think about it a little bit can only be a good thing.

[Jamie Laing]

Well fucking said.

[Emily Atak]

Thank you.

[Jamie Laing]

Yeah, I'm very hot now. But it's so true.

[Emily Atak]

And you don't like change. No, don't like change. They've been. Men have been promised this. This. This. This world that is now changing. They've been promised something different. Look at all the Andrew Tate fans. It. It's a certain type of boy, a certain type of guy that were. That were promised a very different world where women don't have as much say as they do now. They don't have as much equality. You know, it's not. They were promised a world where it was a. It was more about the men. It was a. More of a man's world. And they. They panic because they go, well, this isn't what I was promised. This isn't, you know, women having more of a. Say, having equal pay, equal rights. This is not the. The world I was promised. And they panic. It's funny, they feel alone.

[Jamie Laing]

You know, we're Sophie and I think about kids, right? And I, I, again, I've said this before, but there was this one, I was walking down the street, right, and there was this dad, and he was walking down. It was a summer evening, and he had his arm round his two daughters one side and another daughter that side, and they were so happy and I was like, holy. That's what I want.

[Emily Atak]

Yeah, that.

[Jamie Laing]

So I would. If I had, boys would be amazing. But if I had, I really would just love girls.

[Emily Atak]

Yeah.

[Jamie Laing]

And I grew up with sisters and things.

[Emily Atak]

You're a girl, dad.

[Jamie Laing]

And I'm also. Because I'm just really, like, alpha. And. Yeah, I'm just, you know, I'm really alpha male. So I think. Yeah, Yes. I think I'll think I'll do the opposite, because I. I'll have, you know, I'll have a. I can't, you know, too much alpha otherwise. But the. But I then, like, want so. Because I'm thinking about them more than I'm thinking about this women's world and the safety of it and all these different things and the fact that, you know, Katherine Ryan said women find it scary to go jogging at night.

[Emily Atak]

Yes.

[Jamie Laing]

That is so mad to me because.

[Emily Atak]

As a man, congratulations.

[Jamie Laing]

I would never think about that. Of course I can go running at night.

[Emily Atak]

That must be lovely. That must be really nice.

[Jamie Laing]

And it makes me realize. But then the tricky thing is when I look at my sister's generation, who my sister's older than me, you know, and our generation, especially for women, grew up that you women were on the front of lads mags and you had to be sexy to be attractive. It wasn't particularly about how smart or charming, how funny, you know, as a young kid, it was, oh, are they sexy? That's what it is. And that's such a bad representation.

[Emily Atak]

It is. And it's also, you're either sexy and gorgeous or you're funny and smart. You can't be bothered. And it was kind of. I've always really tried to push this message that yes, you can be both. And also celebrating sexiness isn't. It doesn't have to be such a seedy, awful thing. You can celebrate sexiness in a really empowering, uplifting, positive way without being a fucking pervert. Do you know what I mean? It's like you're allowed to appreciate a sexy woman and also sexiness. It's about showing the message too that sexiness shouldn't just be about, you know, being in a bikini, it's about who you are as a person and, you know, being, being, being kind, being nice, being funny. There's. They're sexy things too. We've been, we've been sort of sold this thing that sexiness only means nipples through your shirt and, you know, just in your pants with no cellulite on your, on your ass. Like the sexiest thing surely in the world is, is being able to, I don't know, grow a child inside you and then afterwards have the scars to prove it and be like, I did this, I'm a fucking boss. Like, that's sexy. And the confidence to be able to do that and the confidence to be a mother and still go out there, still work and still feel confident and sexy in yourself. That's sexy. You know, you're allowed to celebrate sexiness. It's just, it's what we've been drip fed our whole lives into, thinking what sexiness means.

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[Jemima]

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[Jamie Laing]

Forgive me if I'm wrong here, but I remember when I noticed you were pregnant. Cause you were suddenly put on social media and you put this beautiful picture of you on social media and I sent you. I don't know if you remember, I sent you a message saying, God, I'm just so happy for you. But I think for you. You hid it.

[Emily Atak]

Yes.

[Jamie Laing]

For a long time.

[Emily Atak]

Well. Well, no. I was forced to tell everybody because the papers got hold of the information like they do. I don't know how they do it. They know. They know everything. We all know this, don't we? Like sometimes the stuff that they know, you're like, how. How do you know that? How would you know that? So they found out and they. They said they were going to run the story. And so I had to. I wanted to get in there first and tell everyone. So I had to tell everyone. I was pregnant within. I was. I was only like a few weeks gone. And you. And as a woman, you don't. You don't want to tell anyone yet because so much can happen and you know so many. There are complications that can happen. You can miscarry you know, it's, it's, it's such a. And again, that's another pressure. Another pressure is that you don't, you don't, you're not supposed to tell anyone that you're pregnant until you have that 12 week scan. So I was forced into having to tell everyone really, really early. I didn't want to do that at all, but I had to because the papers had it. So that's another pressure. And then it's like, oh God. And then the whole time I was just going, well, if I lose the baby now I've told everyone. Now I've told everybody. Because you can't.

[Jamie Laing]

It's.

[Emily Atak]

The chance of miscarriage are very, very high. You know, you can miscarry before 12 weeks very, very easily. And every day I would wake up so terrified. I would just, I would check, I would check my underwear constantly that wasn't bleeding every second of the day because I was so scared that I, I'd. Now I was like forced to tell everybody that I was pregnant. I didn't look, which I didn't want to. I only wanted to keep it very, very good. But I told everybody now. So I was just kind of like, oh my God, if I, if I miscarry now that's having to tell millions of people that I, that I miscarry.

[Jamie Laing]

And, and you're meant to be nesting.

[Emily Atak]

I'm meant to be nesting peanut butter sandwiches.

[Jamie Laing]

And your cortisol is just, is, is going up and up and up and so. And then you're stressed about being stressed about being stressed.

[Emily Atak]

Yeah, that was a really, really haven't spoke about my pregnancy much, really, but that was a really difficult, really difficult thing. And my pregnancy was really tough. I found it really, really tough. Just all of those mentally meant so, so difficult mentally and physically. So I think because physically it was so tough. It, yeah, it had an effect on my mental health. I couldn't, I couldn't walk. I couldn't do anything. I had pelvic dysfunction. I would. Yeah, it was awful. It was really awful. And don't get me wrong, you know, I, I don't try. I know how lucky I am.

[Jamie Laing]

Don't try and justify. You don't need to. You do not need to try and justify yourself. You had. It's. And it's okay. And also for you just want. I. It's okay for it to be. And it's okay to feel down and anxious and depressed and those things.

[Emily Atak]

Well, Paloma Faith, she said, she wrote an article saying how difficult she Found her pregnancies and that they were bloody awful. And I really, really appreciated that. I read that at a moment where I really needed that because I was kind of going, why aren't I enjoying this? Everyone said that I was going to have this glow up and that I was going to be doing Pilates and have this really amazing feeling. I didn't have that glowing. Some do. Some people have this second trimester where everything feels amazing and you get this new lease of life and loads of energy. I did not have that at all throughout. I was so poorly. I was sick every single day. I felt so. I was. I was. It was awful. It was really, really tough. But, yeah, so I was going, why. Why aren't I. Why aren't I doing Pilates? Why am I. I just watched Downton Abbey every single day and did bugger all and ate whatever I wanted, actually. It was great. Now I'm looking at the rose. I watched Downton Abbey every single day. I ate nothing but peanut butter sandwiches and pancakes and takeaways. I now say that if I was to do Mastermind, my special subject would be North London takeaways. Because I know every single item.

[Jamie Laing]

North. That's very good.

[Emily Atak]

Northern takeaways. I like that. Yeah. And I just did that. Cause I just felt like shit and. Yeah. But it is funny how. What? God. When you look back and you do sort of see it then with rose stingers, like, at the time it was awful, but now I kind of go, ah, wasn't so bad.

[Jamie Laing]

Yeah, but you're. But also, I want you to know your experience is your experience and. And it's so fair to be that way. And I think sometimes as individuals, we always. I do it a lot of the time when I, you know, when I'm feeling anxious or whatever, I go, oh, yeah, but it's okay. It's. It's, you know, but it's actually to accept that it was just fucking awful.

[Emily Atak]

Yeah. I remember there was this one night and I haven't told anybody this yet, but there was a. And just going back to sort of what I was saying about the pressure of, you know, now that I told everybody, and I was forced to tell everyone that I was pregnant. And then a couple of days after I made the announcement, I had a really big bleed. I had. I went to the loot. And what we're. We're told that if you see blood, it's a really bad. It's. It's bad. So I saw there was like blood in the toilet and I was like, oh, my God. I'm miscarrying. I'm miscarrying. And I. My sister was there with me, and I was just. It was just coming out of me, coming out of me, coming. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm. I'm miscarrying. And I thought, that's it. It. That's it. There we go. Biggest fear realized I'm having a miscarriage. And we. Bless my sister. We. She bundled me into the car, went to the nearest hospital. I kind of ran in there. I was just bleeding, bleeding. I was like, someone help me. I don't know what to do. And then they advised that we go to a private thing. So we went to a private thing, got it done really quickly, had a scan, and he said, so the baby's fine. He said, you've had a hemorrhage, a hematoma, but the baby is okay. I couldn't believe it. I thought. I thought, there's no way. I thought. I was like, there's. I've definitely lost the baby. There's no way I can bleed that much and. And not lose a baby. And. And I was fine, and the baby was fine, but there was that moment where I was just like. I thought. I thought it was all over, and I thought. But having to tell everybody and, like, you feel like you've let everyone down. It's really fucking awful. So, you know women that go through that. Yeah, it does. It really does. So, like. And you know anyone that. Listening to this, I don't know, upset anybody who's been through, you know, baby loss, miscarriage, all of that, it's the most horrific thing ever. And I'm telling you, a lot of that pain comes from feeling like you have to let everybody down because you've told everybody you're gonna have this baby and everything's gonna be wonderful, and then you're having to kind of take that away. It's. It's. The pressure is ridiculous. You shouldn't have to worry about those things.

[Jamie Laing]

It's funny, because I. A really, very close friend of mine, and I won't say she, but a close friend of mine has had a miscarriage, and she told me, and. And she just said, I just feel like something's wrong with me, and I don't really know. And. And as a. As her guy friend, I. I'm sort of trying to understand what that feels like and trying to help her through that. But it.

[Emily Atak]

And as well, you know, miss the word miscarriage. It's so dismissed as, like, this Casual thing. It's so like. Oh, yeah, so I know this. I know this girl. Yeah. She had a miscarriage because it is com. It's technically seen as common. But what is so awful? Like, I. I get really angry even when doctors say it, you know, in the early days of your pregnancy and they talk about miscarriage. Like it is such a common thing that is so flippant and so throwaway. You know, they say, yeah, well, you know, in the first bit, it's 30% of miscarriage hit in these times. And then it's. They talk about it like it is so common, but to that person who has just lost that baby, it is the most devastating thing you could ever imagine. And it. You've lost your child, but people don't. For some reason, there's this really casual, casual kind of narrative around miscarriage. Like, it's so, like, it's so common that it's just something that, you know. Yeah. That you kind of sometimes have to go through. Like, I cannot even imagine the agony. Imagine that pain. And again, it's just something as women that we are just told to get on with. You just have to get on with it. And it's the same as having a cesarean. Same as, you know, complications at birth, which is kind of like. Yeah, yeah. So they, yeah, they cut me open and then I just had to go home and just kind of deal with it. I couldn't feed my baby for sake because I couldn't walk. I couldn't change his nappies. It's like. It's just all these things that we're just as women, we're meant to just get on with. Shut up and get on with it. You know, and it is hard for men. It is hard for men to understand. Why would you. Yeah, why would you understand? It's a. It's a physical thing. You've never had to think.

[Jamie Laing]

But I think also sometimes men. And again, I feel like I'm bashing dudes today. And I. But. But I think. But I. But I think also with men, some men don't feel like they need to understand and. And I think it's really important to understand.

[Emily Atak]

Well, I always say these baby books that are written for. For women, for new mums, they should be written for. For the blokes in the situation. They. Honestly, they should be. It should. It should be for blokes. Luckily, my. My partner loves reading, so he. I didn't read any of the baby books. He read every single one. So he was way more kind of equipped and he understood. I mean, it talks more about the kind of physical processes of a lot of things. But I honestly think that in order to, you know, for the men to be able to navigate the fourth trimester or any of it, I think they should read the books. It should be written for the men. The men should have the baby books, not the women. We know. We're like, well, yeah, this is what we're designed to do, apparently, so we can just get. Men should read those books.

[Jamie Laing]

I might read them.

[Emily Atak]

Yeah.

[Jamie Laing]

What does it, becoming a mama? What does it change your view on life?

[Emily Atak]

Oh my God.

[Jamie Laing]

Give it to me because I, I want to know because I'm, I'm desperate to know that it's, well, it's because.

[Emily Atak]

Everything I now, everything I do is now for him. It used to be for, for me or sometimes I didn't know why I did the things that I did, you know, but now it's kind of like when I, when I, it, it just gives me personally and not for everyone. Some people choose not to have children and get way better sleeps and way better freedom and better holidays. Honestly, if you choose that too. Amazing.

[Jamie Laing]

Well done.

[Emily Atak]

Trust me, Absolutely fine. But yeah, personally for me, you know, when I, I realized that all the, the campaign work I've been doing recently about affirmative consent, I've been trying to get another law changed and I, I, I now I want, I want my son to grow up in a world where women are treated better. So it used to be that, you know, I did everything for, did everything for the women. I did everything for the 16 year old me who didn't have, you know, kind of all these things put in place, but now it's because, I mean, it's all those things too, but it's now a lot of it is for my son. I want my son to grow up in a world where, where women are treated better and he can treat women better, you know. And yeah, I think it's just everything now has become more about, yeah, more about this person that you've made and that you have to send off into the world with their, with their little bag and their little apple on their first day at school and, you know, it's up to you to kind of pave the way for them a little bit.

[Jamie Laing]

I think people don't realize about, not only do they know you as this actor, this person, this comedian who, you know, you perform a lot of things, you're now a mum, but also you are a campaigner against sexual harassment. And you and I have spoken about that before. And you did the amazing documentary about it where, I mean, the amount of messages that you were getting from these just.

[Emily Atak]

Yeah.

[Jamie Laing]

Perverts sending their penises and things the whole time.

[Emily Atak]

Yeah.

[Jamie Laing]

What is this new law you're trying to get changed?

[Emily Atak]

So this is the affirmative consent law.

[Jamie Laing]

And what does that mean?

[Emily Atak]

So, and, and this is why it's so difficult, because people start going, oh, right. So we now have to sign a contract before. It's basically. It's basically saying that the two parties that are involved in the sexual act have to confirm that they want to go ahead with it. And that can. That sounds quite heavy, but it's. It can be a simple case of at the moment, right, men are having sex with women. This happens way too often. Women are waking up in the morning after. This is just one example. Women are waking up after a party, having had quite a lot to drink and going, he had sex with me. And I, I didn't even know it was happening. I was passed out. I was passed out in a room. He came in and he had sex with me. Men are getting away with that because in the. A court of law says that it's so difficult to prove a negative. So they're, so they're saying, they, they. At the, at the moment, the law is. You are able to say, well, she didn't say no. What I'm trying to have changed is, yes, but did she say yes? And that is a hu. That would create a huge difference because at the moment, men are getting away with. I'm not being funny, you know, having sex with a woman who is, say, passed out from being too drunk, that alcohol is always involved in these, these gray area, these stories, and they're, they're scurrying off, pulling their kecks up, running off and kind of going, yeah, she didn't say no. They're getting that. They're getting away with that. And it's also, but it's also not just to completely vilify these men. It's to also in a scenario where it's for both parties to confirm that they want to do this.

[Jamie Laing]

To protect both sides.

[Emily Atak]

Yes, to protect both sides. But. And also. And people keep saying to me, right, and I was having a conversation with a guy, with a guy friend about this the other night. He was like, like, yeah, but it's. It's your word against theirs. And I said, but that is such a privileged male position to come at it and go, but that. But if it's. If it's your word against theirs, it's like, it's, it's also this. To have to change the attitudes is also really important. So like at the moment, men do just get away with the fact that. Yeah, but she didn't say no. She didn't say no. If it changes to yes, but did she say yes? It would hopefully make you go into that scenario, sexual scenario, differently thinking. Differently thinking. Well, I actually, I'm gonna have to think about this a bit, a bit more intelligently, a bit harder because. And also people it protects. Yeah, it does. And it's sort of at the moment, this narrative that's pushed about women is that we're making it up all the time and that we're bullshitting.

[Jamie Laing]

So 3.2% of rape cases go to court and 1.3% of charges get convicted. It's something that low.

[Emily Atak]

Yeah, it's that low. But it's happening. It is happening. And. But isn't it funny how we immediately go to say that the woman is lying? It's like, yeah, but she, yeah, but she's probably lying. She's probably like, no, she probably isn't. It's very rare that women lie about this. It's just we've had it rammed down our throats that the women are making it up because, because the, because of the law. Because the men are getting away with it. If the law changes to be in more favored of the victim, then that completely. That doesn't just change the law, that changes people's attitudes towards it. Hopefully a male will go into that situation and go, go, do you know what? She's too pissed. I'm not, I can't do that. Or, or. And people keep saying, yeah, but it's gonna, it will spoil the moment having to have that conversation. I'm like, hun, if it's with the right person, it won't spoil the moment. It'll make sex better. Surely it'll make sex better. Nothing worse than waking up and going, oh my fucking God, I wish I didn't do that. Having, being in a situation, sex should be fun and good and enjoyed between two people and then wake up and go, great, do you want to do that again? Yes. You know, it's like it's a change of. It's not just so that the affirmative consent law, it wouldn't just change the law, it would change people's attitudes and change this rhetoric that women are making it up.

[Jamie Laing]

Emma, can I ask you a personal question and feel free not to answer, but have you ever been in situations which you have felt Uncomfortable.

[Emily Atak]

Oh, my situations have only been uncomfortable. Really? Yeah, Literally, like, I honestly, I can only count on one hand probably where I've actually enjoyed sex.

[Jamie Laing]

Really?

[Emily Atak]

Yeah.

[Jamie Laing]

No.

[Emily Atak]

Oh, yes, yes, yes. And growing up. I'm sorry, but like, growing up, like, as a teenager, it was. It was. It was awful. Like, there were no barriers, there were no boundaries. There were no. Nobody knew. Men, boys didn't know how to be with girls. Girls didn't know how to deal with those situations. It was. It was a mess. And I. I went through life thinking, you know, if you wake up after a night out and something has happened, but you don't really remember it, you just have to suck it up and get on with it. It's like, there's no way anyone's gonna. Just not even worth going down that road of. But I don't remember. I don't remember any of that. I don't, you know? Yeah. Awful. I've woken up so many times and been like, I definitely didn't say yes to that. I've worked. It's. It's happened.

[Jamie Laing]

Do you feel shameful? Do you feel upset?

[Emily Atak]

Yeah, you do. But it's been so repressed for so long. We. We're sort of. We were taught for such a long time that that was kind of a normal way to have sex, that you wake up after a party and go, jesus Christ, I don't really remember that anyway. And then you just kind of carry on. We're sort of taught that that was, like, normal. And so I've. I've really sort of tried to. Yeah, you. Over the years, like, I've tried to sort of go. Cause the problem is now. Now we're all having the conversation, more people are coming out and going, oh, right, well, I was raped then and I was raped. And it's very difficult to. To have to admit it to you. But also the reason why it's difficult as well, for. For the men. Men are getting angry and. Because they're scared because so many men will listen to this sort of thing and go, I've done that before. There'll be men that are. That are getting their kids uniforms ready for school, and they will listen to something like this and. And stop in their tracks and go, oh, I've done that before. And they. They probably regret it and feel really terrible about it. But to be told now that what. That, that that was wrong and that you. That actually, that's now seen as rape, that is. You know, that's hard for people to digest because they know that they've done that somewhere in their lives. A lot of people, when loads of people. And it's, that's why it's too difficult. It's so difficult to go there.

[Jamie Laing]

Yeah. When Catherine Ra was on stage to hosting this award, she said, you know, she spoke about in the Louis 3 documentary that someone in the world of comedy was inappropriate and towards her. And she made very funny jokes about who it was. But then she said after that came out, she just got a whole bunch of messages from loads of guys saying, hey, Catherine, how are you? And she handed, she said, I handed to my husband Bobby to ask what they wanted. And he just said, oh, they just want to know they're okay.

[Emily Atak]

Yes, that's 100% it. And, you know, there's this whole thing, like I said in the beginning, I said about how men are getting really angry and go, yeah, but I'm not a rapist. Why should I sort of all of a sudden have to feel worried about the things that I'm saying and the things that I'm doing? And it's like, well, first of all, if you're not a Berber, you're, you're, you know, you're not a pervert. You're right, you're. You're a good guy. But also, if you just have to look inward a bit at your behaviors and, and make some apologies and make some adjustments and, and think about how you move forward, that's, that's, that's good. That's, that's character building, you know, that we should have to look inward. We've, as women, we've had to do it our entire lives, as I said in the beginning. So the fact that men are having to. They just can't stand the fact that they, that they've been, they've been promised this, this, this whole, this world where they have all the power. And now all of a sudden, that power is being kind of shifted and removed and kind of saying, well, no, you can't behave like this. This is not right. This is not okay. And they're getting extremely defensive.

[Jamie Laing]

Rivals is your new show that's out at the moment. It's based on a Jilly Cooper novel. And all I keep saying is that apparently you're playing tennis naked.

[Emily Atak]

Yes. So. And do you know what's so funny? Is that when I read the script, I was like, oh, my God. No. I was like, mum, do you know what I have to do? I have to learn how to play tennis. That genuinely was what I was worried about. I read the script. Yeah. She played naked tennis. No, genuinely, I was like, oh, my God, I'm gonna have to play tennis. Luckily, I don't.

[Jamie Laing]

Can I just say what's so amazing? What is amazing about you is that you. You do. You go. You have this sort of juxtaposing, sort of criticism that you said throughout life that people find you really hot and sexy, all these different things, and people are saying these type of things, but you're still confident and you're okay to be naked and you're okay to talk about these. That's brilliant.

[Emily Atak]

Yeah. Because I think there's just a point where you have to kind of take it back, take back what's been taken from you and kind of own it. And, you know, my sexuality has been owned by everyone else for years, and to be able to take that back and take ownership again of that is really liberating and powerful. So to run around a tennis court, to feel, you know, I'm at work, I'm exactly where I should be. I'm playing a role. I've learned my lines sort of, you know, I. I'm there, I'm at work, I'm. I'm safe. We've got intimacy coordinators now, making us feel better. I've got. I'm with Alex Hassell playing Rupert Campbellblack, who is the most lovely, gorgeous person ever. We've, you know, the crew were amazing. We're all getting on, we're having a nice time. I'm exactly where I need to be doing what I should be doing. So it's other people's behaviors that need to be looked at, not mine. I will run around that tennis court with my baps out for as long as they will have me doing it that take after take after take until it is right. Because it's an integral part to the story. It's such an important scene. It's a very famous scene in the book. And, you know, all these. We're not just getting our kit off for no reason. These are integral. Yeah, they're integral to the stories, and they segue into other things, into other parts of the story. It's really important to get it right. And so it's not me going, oh, look at me. I've got my tits out on a tennis court. It's, look at me, I'm in a Disney, Julie Cooper amazing show with David Tennant and Aidan Turner and Danny Dyer. Look at me. It's not the other thing.

[Jamie Laing]

You know, your energy is always amazing, and being around you is so fun, and you've Always been generous, and you've always just been kind and just a great laugh as well. You really are. And I'm so happy that you're happy. And you've got your baby and you've got a partner and you're working, and you look so beautiful.

[Emily Atak]

Thank you. All right. You pervert.

[Jamie Laing]

I know something.

[Emily Atak]

Shit.

[Jamie Laing]

I really am. And you're just amazing.

[Emily Atak]

Thank you.

[Jamie Laing]

We like to finish the episode with eight questions.

[Emily Atak]

Yes.

[Jamie Laing]

Are you ready for this?

[Emily Atak]

Yeah. Are they quick fire or. No?

[Jamie Laing]

You can do whatever you want. You can make them quick fire. You can make them longer.

[Emily Atak]

All right.

[Jamie Laing]

What's a saying or phrase that always makes you smile or cheers you up?

[Emily Atak]

If you love someone, let them sleep.

[Jamie Laing]

It's actually unbelievable.

[Emily Atak]

You know what I mean? There's two types of people in life. There's the partner that comes in and tries to fucking wake you up and rustles around and bangs things and bangs drawers and going, are you gonna get up now? You're gonna get up now. Or there's the partner that just lets you fucking sleep until 11 and go. You just go back to sleep. And that is the person you should stay with.

[Jamie Laing]

Best compliment anyone's ever given you.

[Emily Atak]

I like it when people compliment my cooking. I'm a good cook. I get favorite dish. You like cooking at the moment? I do this really nice. It sounds really boring. It's butter beans. You really like it, don't you, Ma? She just gave a nod. Yeah, real good butter beans with, like, lemon olive oil, loads of parsley. And then you put a piece of fish on top and. But you. You sort of marinate the fish.

[Jamie Laing]

I see butter beans everywhere at the moment.

[Emily Atak]

Yeah.

[Jamie Laing]

And they come in a jar.

[Emily Atak]

You look like a little butterbean.

[Jamie Laing]

I know, but I see them everywhere. They come in, like, a big jar.

[Emily Atak]

They're really nice, and they fill you up.

[Jamie Laing]

All right, check them out. What scares you most about yourself?

[Emily Atak]

My high constitution. For alcohol, nothing will get me down, honestly.

[Jamie Laing]

Can you take it? Can you take it?

[Emily Atak]

There could be someone with a tranquilizer gun full of booze, and I will not. And I could have been boozing all day at a bottomless brunch and you couldn't take me down. I would. You're not.

[Jamie Laing]

Can you confirm?

[Emily Atak]

Yeah. It makes drinking habits worse. If you have a high constitution, you're fine. You're better off having a really. You're being a lightweight and going, oh, I can't. No, because I can't. Everyone's always like, do you want one more?

[Jamie Laing]

Yes, I can Take it.

[Emily Atak]

I will never say no.

[Jamie Laing]

Brilliant. When was the last time you cried and why?

[Emily Atak]

I cry every single day. Looking at my child, I literally cry every day. As soon as his gummy little face smiles at me, I'm like, oh, my God. And he had his jabs the other day, and I nearly had a breakdown.

[Jamie Laing]

Panny, that's awful.

[Emily Atak]

Oh, my God. No, it's.

[Jamie Laing]

Panic's really, really hard.

[Emily Atak]

I kicked. I ended up kicking the car because. The car.

[Jamie Laing]

Why you're so angry?

[Emily Atak]

Yeah. No, because the. So he was like. He just had his jabs and he. I was like, oh, my God, My baby. My baby. And he was in the car, and then the. I had to get out of the car and hold him for something, and then the radio came on really loudly and it, like, woke him up and I kicked the fucking car. Yeah. I was so angry. And I've dented the Tesla. Sorry, Al.

[Jamie Laing]

What's something you can't let go of?

[Emily Atak]

Do you know, I was thinking about this. I still can't let go of the fact that Christmas isn't what it was when you were a kid. I keep thinking about this, like, so brilliant.

[Jamie Laing]

That's. That's my favorite answer.

[Emily Atak]

Yeah. Like, I. I can't let it go. And I think I've been thinking about it so much because I've just had a baby, so I'm hoping it comes back. But I'm a bit traumatized by Christmas because I keep thinking about how amazing it was when you're little. And that feeling, that nostalgia feeling. And then it goes away when you get older and you're just hungover throughout the whole of Christmas and everything's all a bit colder and it's just not as warm and fuzzy and lovely anymore, and it's stressful and shit. And. And, yeah, I just can't let it go. I'm like. And there's a reason why every year as adults. The same with birthdays. We all put a party hat on and open presents because we all want to feel like those children again. And this year, I'm really hoping that Christmas is, like, I get that nostalgia back because I've now got a little baby that I can dress up as a pudding.

[Jamie Laing]

A trigger warning for anyone who has little kids in the car right now or someone that's listening to it. So press pause right now.

[Emily Atak]

Yeah, I know what you're gonna say.

[Jamie Laing]

When I found out that Santa wasn't real.

[Emily Atak]

Yeah, you can't say that anymore, apparently.

[Jamie Laing]

Oh, you can't.

[Emily Atak]

Apparently. You're really not allowed to.

[Jamie Laing]

Why not?

[Emily Atak]

Because he is real. So.

[Jamie Laing]

Oh, okay, fine. When I found out Santa was real, I was going to Toys R Us.

[Emily Atak]

Yeah.

[Jamie Laing]

So I was in a real excitement mode and I. And I said to my mom, I went, oh, do you think Santa's gonna get me? And she looked a bit weird at me and I went, wait, is Santa not Santa? Is Santa real? And she went, and then you knew. And then I knew.

[Emily Atak]

And then it's. And then everything is from then on.

[Jamie Laing]

That's why my. My childhood ended.

[Emily Atak]

Yeah, it does stop there. It does.

[Jamie Laing]

So I grew a beard the next day. Yeah. My balls dropped. I was. I became a man. I went and got a job.

[Emily Atak]

Yeah, exactly. And then you start drinking at Christmas.

[Jamie Laing]

Started drinking, smoking at Christmas.

[Emily Atak]

Yeah, exactly. And so with Barney, now I'm just gonna. I'm gonna feed him that beautiful, beautiful life for as long as he will believe it.

[Jamie Laing]

Because you're so good at impressions, would you ever dress up as Santa and pretend you're Santa?

[Emily Atak]

Oh, God. I don't think anyone needs to see that. Honestly, my body at the moment does look like Santa. No, you look. No, it does. I always. I always say I look like Mrs. Doubtfire in the rubber suit. You know, like I do. I keep saying it and I've got to stop saying it because now everyone. Yes. You know, you know that bit where he's got the thing on and those kids are laughing at the window and then he turns around and he's got it on? That is literally what my body looks like right now.

[Jamie Laing]

What's something you'd be embarrassed for people to know you like or want?

[Emily Atak]

I. On nights out. Oh, God. We were laughing about this the other day. So I had a dinner party recently and we all ended up singing around the piano. And it's one of those things. I always end up, full top of my lungs, fucking singing. I love singing, right. I'm a good singer. It's a little party trick of mine. But the next day after, I do a bit of a singing sesh around the piano and I've been pissed. The embarrassment. I may as well have woken up and had a one night stand. That's how I feel. I feel so embarrassed that I have. And I know at the time, I know at the time when I'm really, like, going for it. I know that it's gonna make me feel horrendous the next day, but it just spurs me on and I'm just.

[Jamie Laing]

Like, what are you singing?

[Emily Atak]

What aren't I singing? I sing everything. It's the Celines. It's the Whitney.

[Jamie Laing]

Oh, you go for the big ones.

[Emily Atak]

Yeah. But I always say to everyone, I'm always pissing, like, phones away. Phones away. No, no, phone's away. And, like, when people start feeling about, no, no phones. Because I know it's going to sound really on the phone. I know. And then I wake up the next day and I. I said to our. My partner, I looked at him the other day when I woke up, and I was like, oh, my God. Oh, no. Oh, no, no. And he was like, what's happened was that I was like. I was singing last night. It was nice. And he was like, yeah, no, it was. It was really good, though. And I was like, no, no. Honestly, I actually wish that I'd woken up and done something really horrendous. Yeah. Because it. That's how I felt the embarrassment.

[Jamie Laing]

It's like when you go in the shower and you remember it and you try and wash it off.

[Emily Atak]

Oh, my God.

[Jamie Laing]

It's just.

[Emily Atak]

Oh, you got a set of lungs on you. And you're like, no, don't say it. Don't say it.

[Jamie Laing]

What turns you off?

[Emily Atak]

Just like, shit crack and just like. Just like, shit, shit. Comments and vibes and. Yeah, just shit vibes. Like, if you're going to, you know, if you're gonna bring something to the table, like, just. Yeah, just like, bring that energy, bring that fun, bring that positivity. Be nice. Like, don't be. Don't be a twat.

[Jamie Laing]

Love that.

[Emily Atak]

Yeah.

[Jamie Laing]

What turns you on?

[Emily Atak]

Well, it used to be, you know, kind of. Actually, no, I am gonna say it. Magic Mike, the show. And I'm just gonna say I. My idea of the perfect. Like, the perfect evening is going to watch Magic Mike on my own. I want to watch Magic Mike by myself. I don't want screaming, shouting, oh, my God. Like, I want to watch it like I'm watching Les Mis. I want to really study it and really watch it, like, every. Every year on my birthday, like, the clock's ticking. I'm like, why isn't a stripper come yet? I get the strip. I'm sorry. I'm one of those people. I get the stripper thing. I get it. It's like, I really get it. They're at the op. Some. Some girls on Henry's. They're, like, mortified. They can't believe a stripper. I'm waiting. Every year, I'm waiting. I'm like, guys, it's nearly not my birthday. It's nearly not my birthday anymore. It's nearly the next day. Why haven't I had a stripper yet? No luck.

[Jamie Laing]

So good. What do you like most about yourself?

[Emily Atak]

The fact that I can now say I'm a really good mother. And I never thought. There was a time in my life I never thought I'd get to say those words. And I think I'm a good mum, whatever that means. I mean, I love my child more than anything in the world and I just give. I. I will give him the best life possible. And I'll do. I'll do my best. Yeah. And I think I've really sort of surprised myself there. I like that about myself. And it makes you. God, it makes you look at yourself.

[Jamie Laing]

So differently and you. And you know in your heart, you're like, no, I'm good at this.

[Emily Atak]

Yeah.

[Jamie Laing]

And that's what's so good.

[Emily Atak]

And I look at my Mrs. Doubtfire Roly Poly Body, and I'm just like, yeah, but it birthed him. That was Barney's house. I can never look in the mirror again and go, I hate. Oh, God, I'm so fat. I'm so gross. That's Barney's house.

[Jamie Laing]

It's his house.

[Emily Atak]

It's his house.

[Jamie Laing]

That's a wonder.

[Emily Atak]

That's how he grew. Oh, God, he's so cute. Stinks of cheese, you said. He does. He smells like daily triangles at the minute.

[Jamie Laing]

You said that. In his throat. You think it curdles or something?

[Emily Atak]

Yeah, the milk. The milk dribbles out his mouth and then it gets stuck in, like, the cracks of his neck and sort of caramelizes a bit and then it's. Yeah, he stinks of, like, baked Camembert.

[Jamie Laing]

Bonus. One favorite swear word.

[Emily Atak]

I can't say cunt, can I?

[Jamie Laing]

Yeah, I just said. Yeah, I'm one of those.

[Emily Atak]

I'm one of those. I just. Nothing can offend me, really. No. Sorry. I'm a feminist. I shouldn't say cunt. No, I like a good one nowadays. I like just. I'll shut up your tosser. I like calling someone a tosser. You know, when they're not quite. They're not that. Because to be. To be a cunt, you've got to be a real. Yeah, yeah. But if you're just a bit of a tosser, I think that's worse. It's like. It's like you're not even worth that. That grand Words like, you're not even. It's like you're just a bit of a tosser.

[Jamie Laing]

And thank you so much.

[Emily Atak]

What a word. To end on.

[Jamie Laing]

Thank you so much.

[Emily Atak]

Thank.

[Sophie]

That was so good. I loved every second.

[Jamie Laing]

Really?

[Sophie]

Yeah. So good. I loved all her rants. I was clicking in the background.

[Emily Atak]

Yes.

[Jamie Laing]

Listen, I think giving space to for women to discuss whatever they want in those areas that men have no clue about I think is brilliant. I don't know about these things. I don't understand it. I don't understand what it's like to breastfeed or to be wolf whistled in the street. I don't get these things. And so to and make me understand is an amazing thing to be able to do.

[Sophie]

Yeah. And she's very articulate and puts her point across very, very well and in a very entertaining way. She's very funny as well.

[Jamie Laing]

She's really funny.

[Sophie]

Talking about some quite serious things. But always, I don't know, a joy to listen to. Really enjoyed that.

[Jamie Laing]

Any notes?

[Sophie]

No, I think you were brilliant. I love that you lent into like.

[Jamie Laing]

The silliness that is well from you produced a moment. So thank you very much for allowing me to do that.

[Sophie]

Well, thank you for getting back in touch with your silly side.

[Jamie Laing]

There you go. Hey, listen, if you would like to get in touch about anything, we'd love to hear from you at Great Company podcast on Instagram or you can send us an email. Great companyproductions.co.uk Everything is in the show description. You can also please if you could follow or subscribe to the show. It does us absolute wonders and we're also on YouTube. Please go and check us out.

[Sophie]

What listener When Jamie was doing that, he had his eyes closed.

[Jamie Laing]

I did. I know.

[Sophie]

I don't know why he was imagining you all subscribing.

[Jamie Laing]

Joy.

[Sophie]

He would have.

[Jamie Laing]

It made me feel so much better. Okay, listen, we're gonna leave you there but we're gonna be back next week for another episode of Kuwait Co. Great company.

[Kristen]

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[Emily Atak]

Automate allowance and keep an eye on.

[Kristen]

Your kids spending with real time notifications. Kids learn to earn, save and spend wisely and parents can rest easy knowing their kids are learning about money with guardrails in place. Sign up for Greenlight [e-mail] podcast.