EXCLUSIVE - JESSIE J: I'M FINALLY READY TO TALK ABOUT MY CANCER DIAGNOSIS

Summary

Podcast Summary: "EXCLUSIVE - JESSIE J: I'M FINALLY READY TO TALK ABOUT MY CANCER DIAGNOSIS"

Great Company with Jamie Laing
Episode Date: August 19, 2025
Produced by: Jampot Productions | Host: Jamie Laing
Guest: Jessie J

---

Episode Overview

This deeply personal episode features global pop star Jessie J candidly discussing, for the first time in depth, her recent breast cancer diagnosis, the physical and emotional journey that followed, and how it's shaped her perspective on life, motherhood, and her career. Jessie, known for her humor and frankness, navigates topics rarely explored in such a heartfelt, unfiltered way—including health anxieties, motherhood, resilience, grief, and why she refuses to let adversity define her spirit or creativity.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Jessie J's Breast Cancer Diagnosis and Journey

• First Public Disclosure (10:12–10:24):

  • “So I was diagnosed with early breast cancer seven weeks ago. Right. And I haven't told anyone.”
    — Jessie J [10:12]
  • Jessie shares she was diagnosed on March 31, 2025. She kept the diagnosis private while processing the shock and waiting for clarity after more medical tests.
  • Decision to Re-record (11:24): Jessie asked to return and re-record the episode once she’d had surgery and a clearer understanding, underlining the importance of sharing her experience at the right moment.

• Diagnostic Process and Emotional Rollercoaster (16:49–20:24):

  • Jessie describes discovering a lump, her initial dismissal of symptoms (“maybe it's just from working out”), and the confusion of having clear scans except for the biopsy.
  • The call from her doctor delivering the cancer news was a genuine shock—she describes it as “burst into tears.” [20:16]
  • She details undergoing MRIs and mammograms—with her signature humor (“it was like shutting a yogurt-covered apricot into a door”) [17:24]—and how the process brought both physical discomfort and emotional strain.

• Navigating Treatment and Motherhood (12:09–13:58):

  • “I miss my boy…I feel like cancer’s robbed me of memories with my boy.”
    — Jessie J [12:09]
  • Jessie reflects on the hardest loss: time with her toddler son during treatment. She expresses grief for the memories and milestones missed.

• Public Disclosure and Community Response (28:21–29:51):

  • Jesse discusses going public with her cancer, overwhelmed by an outpouring of love from fans—most powerfully at the Capital Summertime Ball where she announced, “this is my last show before I go and beat breast cancer,” receiving massive support from 80,000 fans.
    • “It wasn’t me being Jessie J. I was just getting that love because people are kind to people.” [29:03]

2. Coping Mechanisms: Humor, Perspective, Documentation

• On Humor and Resilience (14:10–14:23):

  • Jessie uses humor not as a defense, but as intrinsic to her personality, acknowledging, “Doesn’t mean that some days aren’t awful.”

• Vulnerability and Authenticity (15:19–16:41):

  • “You don’t have to be brave.”
    — Jamie [14:47]
  • Jessie describes the pressure of being a public figure to “wave a flag” for others with similar diagnoses, even as she wanted space to be scared and sad.

• Documenting the Journey (43:06–43:44):

  • Jessie has vlogged the process authentically, from crying breakdowns to hopes it may one day help others:
    • “I’ve videoed everything…saying exactly as I felt, however dark it was. So when I watched it back, I never felt that bad.” [43:16]

3. The Interplay of Health, Music, and Purpose

• Creativity through Adversity (24:26–26:52):

  • Jessie observes her worst moments often lead to musical inspiration:
    • “I feel like I go through these things to write music…Making music got me through.” [24:26]
  • Her current health has shaped new music, with themes of hope, resilience, and magic. She adjusts her release plans to honestly reflect her reality.

• Healing Power of Performance (28:48–29:51):

  • Jessie describes continued live performances as spiritual and restorative—fans’ support bolstered her during the toughest moments.

4. Family, Childhood, and Resilience

• Health Struggles Growing Up (44:53–45:58):

  • Jessie explains growing up with Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome (a heart condition), the challenges of missing out as a child, and being “cotton walled.”
    • “I was always a bit of a misfit. I kind of liked it.” [46:46]
    • Using sarcasm, humor, and songwriting as therapies.

• Parental Influence and Boundaries (50:51–52:15):

  • Jessie credits her mother for teaching her to set boundaries and “never be a yes girl” in the music industry, even at the cost of being labeled difficult or a diva.

• Motherhood: Joys, Challenges, and Loss (55:16–58:02; 56:19–61:11):

  • Jessie reflects on giving birth to her son as the most defining experience of her life, expressing awe and pride:
    • “Giving birth to my son…It will change your whole life. It’s the best thing that I’ve ever been through.” [53:27]
  • She also discusses her miscarriage in moving detail, the loneliness of grief, and how it shaped her toward gratitude for her subsequent, successful pregnancy.

5. Love, Relationships, and Personal Truth

• Love and New Beginnings (64:00–66:54):
  • Jessie shares about meeting her partner on the dating app Raya after her miscarriage, finding deep connection and support through her health crises and as a parent.
  • “It happened seven months later and I went full term with no complications…that’s how I feel it, truly.” [65:04]

6. Career Highlights & International Success

• Winning 'Singer' in China (71:07–73:58):

  • Jessie recounts her unexpected victory on China’s "Singer" competition, watched by 1.2 billion people, and how performing there gave her new confidence and reach.

• Music as Therapy and Advocacy (41:27–42:58):

  • Jessie talks about her upcoming single "Believe in Magic," and how songwriting is cathartic and essential to her healing journey.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• On perspective and resilience:
  "I honestly believe that things happen to me so that I can help other people get through them." — Jessie J [07:49]

• On receiving her cancer diagnosis:
  "She was like, are you sitting down? And I literally went, ah. And I was like, yeah. And she went, I'm really sorry, but it's all come back as like high grade cancer cells. And I just burst into tears." — Jessie J [20:24]

• On fan support during Summertime Ball:
  "That feeling, that euphoria, that energy—everyone that was there in that space...my team, my family, strangers, old, young, holding up posters saying 'we love you, you're gonna beat this'..." — Jessie J [29:03]

• On miscarriage and grief:
  "You lose the baby, but then you've got to lose the baby. That's the bit I just didn't—never—realized...I had to have an emergency DNC while I was awake. It's the most pain I've ever been in." — Jessie J [60:52/61:12]

• On carrying the public's expectations:
  "When you’re in the public eye, people often give you a bit of a flag to wave at the front of the queue, to represent everybody...when I actually just wanted to be someone in the back of the line, watching someone else." — Jessie J [12:58]

• On unconditional positivity:
  "My pain does not take away from anyone else's joy." — Jessie J [62:00]

• On creative process:
  "If people feel it as authentic, then it will work." — Jessie J [41:27]

---

Key Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment / Topic | |-----------|------------------| | 05:13 | Jessie J joins — opening banter, self-deprecating humor | | 10:12 | First explicit disclosure of cancer diagnosis | | 12:09 | Impact of diagnosis on motherhood, missing memories | | 15:19 | Processing emotions, bravery, and public sharing | | 16:49 | Diagnostic process (lumps, scans, mammograms, MRIs) | | 20:24 | Receiving the cancer diagnosis — emotional response | | 28:21 | Going public and Summertime Ball moment | | 44:53 | Childhood health struggles and their impact | | 53:25 | Giving birth and motherhood as defining experience | | 56:19–61:11| Miscarriage experience and reflections | | 64:00 | Meeting her partner, beginning of new relationship | | 71:07 | Winning “Singer” in China | | 75:02–77:06| Quick-fire question round—humor and personality highlights |

---

Episode Tone & Style

The episode carries Jessie J’s signature blend of humor, vulnerability, and directness. She is unguarded, using laughter to diffuse tension but never shying away from the pain and complexity of her experiences. Jamie Laing provides a supportive, empathetic space, asking thoughtful questions and contributing his own reflections (including a personal announcement about his wife’s pregnancy [53:32]), deepening the intimacy of the conversation.

---

Final Words & Advice (Jessie’s message to others)

"If anyone has been diagnosed with cancer or is going through cancer treatment, or has anyone that they love that's going through it, I'm with you. I'm giving you a hug. I'm sending you all the good vibes and energy..." [43:49]

---

For Listeners

The episode is an honest, empowering conversation about surviving and thriving through adversity. It’s also a reminder of the healing power of humor, honesty, art, and genuine human connection.

---

If affected by the topics discussed, consult the episode description for support links and resources.

Transcript

[Jemima]

Listen up. You can get the new iPhone 16e with Apple Intelligence for just $49.99 when you switch to Boost Mobile. We pulled so many all nighters to give you this deal. And hey, stop messing with the miike.

[Jamie]

I'm just helping this catch people's attention. This is a great deal.

[Jemima]

Exactly. So it doesn't need all that.

[Jamie]

Fine.

[Jemima]

Head to your nearest Boost mobile store right now.

[Jamie]

Visit your nearest Boost Mobile store for full offer details. Apple Intelligence requires iOS 18.1 or later.

[Jemima]

Restrictions apply.

[Jamie]

Race the rudders. Race the sails. Race the sails. Captain, an unidentified ship is approaching.

[Jemima]

Over.

[Jamie]

Roger. Wait, Is that an enterprise sales solution? Reach sales professionals, not professional sailors. With LinkedIn ads, you can target the right people by industry, job title and more. We'll even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign. Get started [e-mail] Campaign terms and conditions apply.

[Jemima]

Hello, I'm Elizabeth Day, the creator and host of how to Fail. It's the podcast that celebrates the things in life that haven't gone right and what, if anything, we've learned from those mistakes to help us succeed better. Each week my guests share three failures sparking intimate, thought provoking and funny conversations you'll hear from a diverse range of voices sharing what they've learned through their failures. Join me Wednesdays for a new episode each week. This is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment original podcast. Listen now, wherever you get your podcasts.

[Jamie]

ACAST helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere acast.com hey, do you want to hear the next big new tech podcast hit? Before anyone else, check out the daily tech news show Experiment Week. We're swapping out our normal shows to try out some new ideas. We've done this before and launched big hits like behind the Data, the Tech John and more. This year we have exclusive Android faithful reactions to the Pixel 9 event. It's all on the DTNS feed starting August 11th. Don't miss it. ACAST helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere acast.com hello everyone. My name is Jamie Lang and this is Great Company. Well, hello Jemima.

[Jemima]

I was gonna say good morning, but I don't know what time people are listening to.

[Jamie]

Good morning, good afternoon, good night. It can be any time of the day that people are listening to this. All we can say is welcome back, welcome back to Great Company Podcast.

[Jemima]

Or welcome.

[Jamie]

Or welcome if it's the first time, if you're a new listener. I'm Jamie, the host and this is Jemima the producer.

[Jemima]

Yep. And you guys. We like to call our Owls. We all have names.

[Jamie]

Jemima wants to call you the Owls, which is our wonderful listeners.

[Jemima]

I like to call myself pj. Let's just go through all the names. I like to call myself pj. I'm producer Jemima and I like to call Jamie P. Presenter Jamie.

[Jamie]

Presenter Jamie. And today on today's episode is really exciting because we have jj, Jessie. Jessie J is a performer, she's a singer, she's.

[Jemima]

I love her.

[Jamie]

An incredible artist that has written so many songs throughout the last decade and more. Price tag, maybe.

[Jemima]

Price tag.

[Jamie]

I love price tag.

[Jemima]

I love Domino.

[Jamie]

Domino's great.

[Jemima]

You love. I didn't. You don't. You love Bang Bang.

[Jamie]

I love Bang Bang. Loads of the songs you would have heard. She was on the Voice in. In the uk. She also won a Chinese television scene contest, which is incredible.

[Jemima]

Wild. It's huge.

[Jamie]

It was viewed by 1.2 billion people.

[Jemima]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Jesse is an amazing artist and amazing person and we're very lucky to have have her on the show today. I've been a big fan for a long time and before the episode starts, Jesse actually reveals something very emotional and very personal in today's episode. So I just want everyone to be pre warned with that. And when you do hear the news, we are also going to leave some links in the description of where you can go if you also are worried or affected. Affected by this conversation. But that's all I'm going to say for the moment. If you haven't already subscribed to the show, please do. It does us absolute wonders. I cannot tell you. Let us know what you think of the show, what you like, what you don't like, what guests you'd like us to have next. We want to hear everything.

[Jemima]

Well, not everything.

[Jamie]

Not everything.

[Jemima]

I mean, if you really want to tell me what you had for breakfast.

[Jamie]

You can do that.

[Jemima]

I will read it.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Jemima]

And I'll probably enjoy it.

[Jamie]

Just let us know what you think. You can slide into our DMS@GreatCompany podcast or you can send us an email. Great [e-mail] are you ready for this?

[Jemima]

I really wanted to reply with the.

[Jamie]

Song lyric you can do, but I.

[Jemima]

Can'T think that quickly. Bang bang hold me close like I'm a. What on earth is that song about?

[Jamie]

I don't know where you're going with that.

[Jemima]

I don't know either. Call me close like I'm a Domino. Saying that now. Pretty sure those aren't lyrics.

[Jamie]

Well, anyway, on that note, ladies and gentlemen, enjoy, guys, enjoy this episode of Great Company with Jessie J.

[Jemima]

Hello, I'm Jessie J, and I am in Great company.

[Jamie]

Most of the things people say to me is this when they see me, they go, oh, my God, you're. You're much shorter. And I go, oh, yes, I am. This is my height.

[Jemima]

Honestly, I've never looked in a mirror.

[Jamie]

Or they'll go, oh, you look much better than I thought you'd look.

[Jemima]

People say that to me all the time.

[Jamie]

Quite brilliant.

[Jemima]

All right. Yeah. You're so much prettier in real life. And I'm like, this isn't real. I'm not me. Like, there's nothing. How do you respond? No, that is literally how I respond. There is nothing that anyone could say to me that would offend me. Like, I literally. Me and my assistant go on, like, the shade room and all these, like. You know, the places where, like, people go to write the comments that kill. I just love it. And I scroll through and I. The BAFTAs. I was like, I just want to see what people are saying. Not, like, they're like, this amazing. I was like, I want to see, like. And it's like, she looks like a lesbian geography teacher that's just auditioned for the mask. And I was like, that is what I want to read. That makes this worth it. It's like geography just left an audition for the mask. And I was looking at me, I was like, I do look like a lesbian geography teacher that just left the mask audition. I actually find that quite a compliment. I don't even know where England is on the map. Run into some rocket. Like, we have to laugh at ourselves. Like, the job that we've chosen is so random. It just. It honestly makes my life so much more interesting. Like, what's the weirdest thing anyone's ever said to you?

[Jamie]

I get called. I think I'm Ellen DeGeneres the whole time.

[Jemima]

Her name is Ellen. Because of Ellen DeGeneres, they actually think they generally. My name's Jessica Ellen Cornish.

[Jamie]

Can't wait after Ellen.

[Jemima]

I know. I'm like, guys, oh, my God. Yeah.

[Jamie]

I'm a big believer in energy, and I'm pretty spiritual as well. I don't. I don't know if I'm. I don't know if I'm religious. I went to church a lot as a kid, though. I don't know if I'm religious, but definitely spiritual. And now every single night, I get on my hands and knees and I pray, and every morning I do that and I say the same thing. I go, thank you for keeping my wife, my family, friends, happy, healthy and content. And I just thank for so many things. And I swear to God, doing that and like, cleansing yourself, actually 100. Without a doubt.

[Jemima]

Acknowledging the good in your life and not just using prayer or faith or religion, whatever it crosses. Spirituality in moments of darkness is key. Like, to actually say, yo, thanks, I had a good day, as opposed to just, I'm having a bad day. Can you help me out? You know, I think that's so important, and I think it's a really beautiful level of gratitude to have to start your day.

[Jamie]

But then when bad things happen, if really bad things happen, how do you stay grateful?

[Jemima]

I've. I have good perspective. I always see things as a bigger picture. I honestly believe that things happen to me. Oh, God, happen to me so that I can help other people get through. Through them. And I know that might be a weird perspective to have.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Jemima]

Especially with my health. But I just. I feel like. Yeah, I just. I just. I have a. I don't know. I just feel like I'm so blessed. I. I think of it like this. I said this the other day, and someone was like, wow. But, like, you know when you've been healthy for, like, 180 days.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Jemima]

And then you're really sick for a week and you're like, I can't believe it. But in actual fact, it's a very small percentage of being sick in comparison to the good days you just had as being healthy.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Jemima]

And I think everyone can focus on the bad stuff because we all want to feel good and happy. So when we have, like, maybe three months, when we're a bit depressed, in the grand scheme of things, you just had a good year. So just give yourself a little grace to have a moment of, like, shedding whatever you need to shed or feeling whatever you feel. And I think for me, when I go through bad times, if I'm honest, I kind of enjoy them because I'm like, okay, something's happening here. I need to grow. I need to deepen something. I'm being taught a lesson every time, and then I write songs about it. And then that's a.

[Jamie]

That's a really way of. Good way of looking at. Because I think. Is it when we talk about, like, personally, when you go through hard times. Right.

[Jemima]

We.

[Jamie]

We try and fight them and we. You're right in the sense, like, say you felt great for 180 days and then suddenly your brain turns on you for whatever Reason you feel anxious, depressed, whatever it is you. You try to go, why do I always feel like this? But actually, you haven't really felt always like that. So you catastrophize.

[Jemima]

Exactly.

[Jamie]

And leaning into it and going, okay, I'm feeling this way. Why am I feeling this way? That's a really. But it's a really hard thing to do.

[Jemima]

It isn't. It is and it isn't. I think it's a freeing thing to do, but it' sense of perspective. And just like. Like my dad and my mom, we grew up having, like, family conferences every weekend, and we'd sit and talk about how we felt. So my dad's a mental health social worker. Not anymore. He's retired. My mum was a teacher. So together, it was like we used humor in a lot of things and also just I feel like for the biggest blessings that I've had in my life that are massive, I have to have balance. Like, there has to be balance in my life.

[Jamie]

Explain that to me.

[Jemima]

Oh, no. I really want to tell you, but I don't know if I can.

[Jamie]

Why?

[Jemima]

Because it's a really big thing that I haven't told anyone and it's very personal, but I just don't know. This is the moment. I'm going to share it. I may cry. I probably won't.

[Jamie]

Don't worry. If you cry, that'll send me to the edge as well. So I'll be with you.

[Jemima]

So I was diagnosed with early breast cancer seven weeks ago. Right. And I haven't told anyone, buddy, I'm so sorry. Hello, Producer Jemima here. We're just going to pause the episode for a second, aren't we, Jamie?

[Jamie]

We are. We haven't ever done this in a podcast before, but we want to be honest with you, Gu. Jessie came in to record the podcast in May, and she had just been diagnosed with breast cancer, which, as you can hear on the episode, she's spoken about for the first time. After hearing the episode, Jessie felt that she wasn't in a right place to talk about her diagnosis. Understandably, she wanted more clarity over it. She didn't know what the future held for her. So many uncertainties. So we asked if she would like to come back and record an episode once she had had clarity and had her surgery. So she did, she came back. And this next bit is Jesse coming back for the second time and recording with us again. She talks about her concerns for the first episode that she recorded with, and she also talks now about what has happened post surgery. So we Hope you enjoy this. Okay. So, Jesse, we recorded an episode.

[Jemima]

Yes, we did.

[Jamie]

Before. And you're now back again to record another episode.

[Jemima]

I just love it so much.

[Jamie]

I know, man. That's what I'm hoping that you just really enjoy.

[Jemima]

I enjoyed it so much that I pretended I didn't like the last one so I could do it again.

[Jamie]

Why didn't you like the last one?

[Jemima]

No, it wasn't. I didn't like it. Just a lot of the things that we spoke about, especially with the breast cancer, it just changed that my diagnosis was a little different. And I just knew how important that conversation was. I realized that the journey wasn't there yet. And I just felt I owed it to myself just to kind of act on my instincts and go, I think I should do that again when I'm a bit further down the line.

[Jamie]

So how are you feeling?

[Jemima]

10 out of 10? No, I'm okay.

[Jamie]

Yeah, I feel like you're always say you're okay, which is fine. Like, I get.

[Jemima]

No, no. I mean, I had my days. Like yesterday I sobbed because I miss my boy. My boy is. I can't be a mum. Like, I want to be a mum. And I feel robbed. I feel like that's the only biggest negative thing. I'll start with the worst thing as I feel like cancer's robbed me of memories with my boy. And anyone that has a toddler knows that they change so much in that time. And you blink and he's like chatting.

[Jamie]

You say you feel like a little bit anxious about what you were saying last time, which I kind of understand. You came on and you were in this headspace and you had kind of just been diagnosed with cancer.

[Jemima]

Yeah, I think I had. So I was diagnosed on 31st March.

[Jamie]

Yes, it was around that time.

[Jemima]

And when. No, it was May. It was like eight weeks later that I came here. Right.

[Jamie]

Was it really?

[Jemima]

Yeah. So it was almost two months later.

[Jamie]

And it felt like it was the first time you told, like a stranger.

[Jemima]

It was the first time I told anybody in the world, like, other than friends and family, that it would have been a public knowledge thing. Was that scary? No, it was really nice. And I could hear it. That I was just over. Just the adrenaline running through my body. But I think also just cause I was. I had. If I'm honest, how do I word this? Whenever you're kind of diagnosed with something or you go through something as someone that's in the public eye, people often give you kind of a bit of a. Like a flag to wave at the front of the queue, to, like, represent everybody behind you. And I felt that I was like in autopilot doing that with the breast cancer, when I actually just wanted to be someone that was in the back of the line, watching someone else that had already kind of gone through it, that had that knowledge and understanding to do that for me. And I think that the way I was talking about it when I was listening was if was already as if I'd gone through it and I hadn't. And I almost wanted to let myself be a bit more scared and sad.

[Jamie]

How do you articulate that to family? Because I. I just. You know, when something like that happens and you get diagnosed with something, I think your immediate thing, which I noticed when you said to me first, is to go straight to humor. Because you. You wanna. You wanna.

[Jemima]

Even now.

[Jamie]

Yeah, even now. You just. Let's make it funny. I don't want people to fast. Let's go to humor.

[Jemima]

Yeah. I mean, I think humor's always. Is always my thing. It's not. I don't think I use it as a defense mechanism. I just think it's my personality. Doesn't mean that some days aren't awful.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Jemima]

You know, and I don't let the closest people into me. That sounded good.

[Jamie]

People realize what you're.

[Jemima]

Yeah, go for. My mum knows that. My boyfriend knows. Like, some of my best friends know. The whole world doesn't need to see that all the time. Yeah.

[Jamie]

But also, Jesse just. I'm gonna say, because, like, I don't know why, after the last time we spoke, I feel like a real. This sounds so cheesy, but I feel like a real connection to you. And I don't know why. I'm not kidding. I don't know why. I do.

[Jemima]

I love that.

[Jamie]

I swear to God, I don't know why. And this is going to sound cheesy, but you. You don't have to be brave. Like, I just start crying and pouring water over my face, but you. You don't have to be. And I think you've been. You got diagnosed with cancer. You. Then when you spoke about it with me, right. You were being like, very joking. Like, oh, this and that. Which is. I get that. That's a media thing that I would do, and I understand that. And then you've gone through this whole process right now of, you know, and we're gonna talk about what you've been through, but you're sort of in this moment now, and I still feel like you're like, no, we just gotta keep moving going on and everything.

[Jemima]

No, you know what I think it is? I feel like I had had two months to process it. So when I spoke about it with you, I had cried and I had been scared, and I was like, I'm gonna die. There was moments where I was like, this is gonna go left, and I'm gonna die. And I had those moments. And I think anyone that gets diagnosed with cancer at any level or anything, when you. In the unknown. At that point, I didn't know if I was gonna have to have extensive treatment, what it was gonna be. So I think when I listened back to it, I almost felt guilty that I was robbing people, like my fans, my friends, my family time to understand. Cause I knew that that was gonna come out very closely to me talking about it. And it wasn't gonna give much of a window for people to process it. And it was actually something my PR said to me. That sounds so cliche, but, you know, he's doing his job where he just said, like, people really care about you, Jess, and this is gonna hurt a lot of people. And that isn't for you to manage. But I just felt like the way I was talking about it. Cause I had known about it for eight weeks, and I was still going through all the tests. And, like, I still had more results that came in after we talked last time that changed things that we'd talked about, that I didn't give them the chance to process it. Does that make sense? So I think maybe that was one of the things that I was talking about with humor already, because I'd gone through the sad and the light. But also.

[Jamie]

Is that what happens, though? I just don't talk me about the last two months. So the last time we met, you've been diagnosed, you then. Since then, you've had surgery.

[Jemima]

So when I saw you, I can't even remember where I was at. I think I was in the. I was. I was in the process. So the last test that I had was a genetic testing. So basically, what does that mean? So I found a lump. I went and got checked. They said, we can feel and see the lump, but on the ultrasound, it looks fine. So that. That. That was, you know. So they said, we'll send you for a mammogram, or do you want to get a biopsy? And I said, well, and what's a mammogram? So a mammogram is where they basically squash your boob into a machine.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Jemima]

And basically, I think it's like an I don't want to say it's an X ray, but it's like they just do a pict it. So from the side, I couldn't even fit my boob in the screen. It was literally like. It was like shutting her like a yogurt covered apricot into a door. And I was like. She was like, can you go in anymore? I was, I've got nothing left. There's no boob left. And I was. Me and the nurse were crying, laughing. It was like. She was like. I was actually holding onto the machine like, you all right, babes? You good? Yeah. Literally, she's like, can you go in anymore? And I was like, there's nothing there. And she was. And I was. And I was laughing so much. She was like, try and stay still.

[Jamie]

And what's going through your mind at that time?

[Jemima]

Well, this.

[Jamie]

You're laughing, but let me just go.

[Jemima]

Back to what I was saying so I don't go off on a tangent and do what I always do. So I had the ultrasound that was clear. And then luckily they sent me for a biopsy first because the mammogram came back clear. So if I'd have had that second, I don't know what would have happened. Like, whether I would have just not had any further treatment and that would have been it. And then it would have got bad.

[Jamie]

Wow.

[Jemima]

Really bad. Yeah.

[Jamie]

That can happen.

[Jemima]

Well, yeah, of course. And I'm lucky that I. I'm very aware that I'm very lucky that I can have private health care, so.

[Jamie]

Wow. I didn't even know that was.

[Jemima]

Yeah. So usually the. The usual course is ultrasound, mammogram, and then anything.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Jemima]

So because I have youngish breast tissue, it looked healthy. This is what they've told me. This isn't me.

[Jamie]

Got it? Yeah.

[Jemima]

You know, so because of my symptoms, so I had like a really achy arm. My arm felt like it was made of lead. And I had. I'd always have pins and needles. Every morning, like when I woke up, I couldn't feel my hand every day.

[Jamie]

And how long was that for?

[Jemima]

Can I say about five months?

[Jamie]

And you just didn't go and get a bed?

[Jemima]

I just thought. I don't know, because I was working out. So I was like, maybe I'm just getting blenched. And I just thought. I was like. It was just the workouts and I felt healthy. I was like, I was good. So I didn't think of anything of it. I was just kind of like, maybe it's my muscles. I Know, silly. And I was busy, I was preparing. I just moved back from America, I was moving house. I've got a toddler. Like, you're just, you're just doing life, you know, Life. And so because of that, they said, let's do a biopsy and just do it. And they were like, the only appointment we've got is 28 March. And it was the morning after my birthday. And I was like, let's do it, big boo girl pants. I'm 37, let's be brave. And so I randomly blogged it. So I filmed myself going to the appointment, just going, found a lump. And so I filmed the biopsy and like my boyfriend was there and I did that. And she said, I'm gonna phone you on Monday if it's not good news or I like to tell you. And I was like, okay, fine. This was on, I think it was a Friday, I think. And then my boyfriend and my son actually went to Denmark for a little trip for a week and I was at home.

[Jamie]

You're spending the weekend nervous. What are you feeling all weekend? You're not even thinking?

[Jemima]

No, I was just cracking on with things on my to do list. Wow. Just, I can't. I don't worry about things that haven't happened. There's no point.

[Jamie]

I think that would consume me all weekend.

[Jemima]

No, there's no point because until you get told, like, you're just wasting energy. And I was doing the bafta. I was talking to the baftas. I was busy. I was doing meetings. I was everywhere. I was sitting with Spotify and Apple and we were preparing for a launch. No one even knew this was happening. I hadn't even told any of my team at this point that I went to get a biopsy. I was just like, it's gonna be fine. They literally was said to me, it's gonna be fine. It's a cyst. It won't be anything. It doesn't. And so she. I literally was come off a call with the baftas talking about my performance and she texted me saying, can you zoom really quick? So I'm thinking, oh, it's gonna be nothing. Cause it's a zoom. But it was Monday. So I was like, hmm. And it was 6 o'. Clock. So I was like, okay. So I was like, jumped on the call and she was like, are you sitting down? And I literally went, ah. And I was like, yeah. And she went, I'm really sorry, but it's all come back as like high grade cancer cells. And I just burst into tears. You know, that was my normal. That. That was a healthy reaction. So those moments, it's not like I'm like, you're making a joke. You know what I mean? I'm not. I reacted like anyone else would, and I just burst into tears. And I think because I was, like, convinced it wasn't going to be anything, and everyone had told me it wasn't. Like, even my friends that I told I'd had a biopsy done were like, oh, it'll be nothing. Like, my friend had that last month, and it was nothing. So I was like, yeah, yeah. Kind of poo pooed that. I was, like, thinking it could be something. And so obviously, they kind of tell you the result. And then they'll be like, we'll be in touch. That's when you're just like, right, so what happens next? And they reach out. And then I had an mri, and that was. That was the. I'm claustrophobic. And with a breast one, you have to lay on your front with your, like, boobs in a little bucket. I mean, mine was a little bucket. And then they inject you with dye at the end, and then they, like, can see everything but you. I mean, I was in there for probably 25, 30 minutes. And they asked you what. Yeah, and then they ask you what music you want, but you're on your front, so you're looking down to just, like, a plastic bottom. So. Oh. And I picked Bob Marley, because that's what I gave birth to. The machine and Bob Marley. We might have talked about this last time, but those two things at the same time. Oh, my. It was like, everything's gonna. And I was literally just laying there going, what do I zone into? Do I zone into the machine or Bob Marley? And I just had to talk myself, like, off a panic attack the whole time. I know that that was the worst. That was one of the worst bits of all of this.

[Jamie]

Oh, yes.

[Jemima]

It was awful. And I was like, I hate MRIs. I hate them. And I feel so claustrophobic and so claustrophobic. And I couldn't move. And I've got my arms up and they're just like. And I take a deep breath, and they'd be like, try and stay still. And I'm like.

[Jamie]

And you're. And you're trying not to panic. You're just fighting that. That thing's just right there.

[Jemima]

Do you want us to give you something to calm you down? I was like, nah, that ain't a bit of me. Let me just ride this Raw Dog. Like, I just sent me Raw Dog. The mri.

[Jamie]

Are you serious? You don't. You just win?

[Jemima]

No. Nothing? No, I hate it. Any. Like melatonin? I just don't like anything. I like to feel what I'm feeling and deal with it.

[Jamie]

You Jesse.

[Jemima]

So I was laying there, did that, and then when the results of those came back, it showed that I had. It was about four and a half, five centimeters of cancer and a lump at the bottom. And then I also had more here and at the top. And so I then decided to get a second opinion to a lot of people's advice. And I found a doctor that I really liked. And then. So he wanted to repeat some of the tests, but also test the other cancer that had been found to make sure it was the same kind of cancer as the other one. And that was when I had. I had that. Those biopsies done the night before Ronnie's Scott, that I did my industry showcase. So it was. That was when I was in pain and I was just so uncomfortable, and I. I had my outfit already picked out, and I didn't. I couldn't be bothered to change it. So you could just see the plasters. I was trying not to lift my arm up.

[Jamie]

And you're just doing it.

[Jemima]

Yeah, because I wanted to. I was so excited. I was, you know what? And I said to the beginning of this, like, there's a bit of me that feels like I go through these things to write music. Then I also feel like the whole thing might already be written and happening, and the reason it happens alongside me putting out music is so that it brings me enough joy to do the sad thing. Does that make sense? Do you know how much I love my job? Like, this isn't like a, oh, I'm going on a promo run. I'm doing it. I love it. I love it. I love connecting with people. I love singing, I love making music. I love writing songs. I love making people feel stuff. Like. So for me, it was like, that got me through. So then after the mri, I had the mammogram, which was just hysterical. Me and the nurse just cracking up, laughing.

[Jamie]

Why? Because.

[Jemima]

Because of the. Me not. Yeah, yeah.

[Jamie]

And what are you feeling mentally? What are you feeling at point. This point? You're just cracking on.

[Jemima]

I was so busy with work that, if I'm honest, I didn't have a lot of time to process it. And I know that there was like.

[Jamie]

Do you think that's a good thing? Maybe.

[Jemima]

Good and bad. Which is one of the reasons I Wanted to tell the world. Yeah, but I didn't know when. And I kept recording the video and then not having time to like edit it and put it out. And then I was, I don't want to edit it. But then it was like, how do I make this, like a 30 second video to explain it? And then I kept making jokes or I'd burst into tears. And I literally had like 16 different videos of different days where I was like, right, I've got five minutes, I'm in between promo. I just want to let you guys know that this has happened. And then I was talking, like, I was in an interview because I was doing interviews and it was just, you can't feel. It was so disconnected. And I was just like, okay, let me just wait until this happens organically.

[Jamie]

Can I ask you a question on that as well? Because, because you, I would say you're a bit like all of us. You're. You're a workaholic for sure. You love what you do. Like, you enjoy it so much that when, when you have, when you're in this moment, you're like, no, this I can't. I have to keep doing this.

[Jemima]

But also when you've worked so hard to get to that point, like, this wasn't like a two, two week, let's put out a song. And like, this was like years in the making of like even just rebuilding the foundations of my life. Like my team, my comfort, like, not my confidence, like my, my value in, like, and just finding the joy. Like, these songs were five years old. So I'd gone through that, left my label and gone through the legal stuff. And I was like, I'm not gonna just put this aside and sit at home and cry, because that's what other people would do. And then when I saw you, yeah, it was right before Summertime Ball.

[Jamie]

Yeah, you did a mix of everything.

[Jemima]

So I was, I knew I was. At some point I was like, I almost want to do a podcast or an interview where it will force me to tell people. And I hadn't planned to come here and tell you, but if you listen to the opening of the podcast, it feels like you're literally been told to like, gear me up to tell you nothing. No, I know.

[Jamie]

I knew nothing.

[Jemima]

And so then I went up kind of. I hadn't really prepared to talk to you about it.

[Jamie]

And also, we just first met, so I really didn't know.

[Jemima]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you was like, how do you deal with hard things in your life? And I was like, you know But.

[Jamie]

I think it was just. It was like that word vomit just comes out because you just want to say it.

[Jemima]

And it was just an open tab, and you were, like, so desperate to tell someone. And I think I just got to a point where I was like, I'm going to talk about it, but I wasn't there yet to talk about it like I did. And so it's only been eight weeks.

[Jamie]

And so since then, you said you had a new. The diagnosis, New doctor.

[Jemima]

Yeah, so it wasn't a new diagnosis. It was just that I just got more understanding of what it was. So there was more cancer around my breast than I thought there was. And then I had to have genetic testing, which takes four and a half weeks to come back the results. So I think that's when I spoke to you. So I was in a period of time where I was waiting to see if I carried any breast cancer genes, and that would determine whether I was having a single or double mastectomy. So I always was having this one taken off and then this one I've kept because I didn't carry any genes. So it was just the, you know, the gene doctor was just like, it's just unlucky. It's just one of those things.

[Jamie]

When you. When you shared the diagnosis on socials, you did that, what was the response?

[Jemima]

Oh, it was so nice.

[Jamie]

Isn't that I saw it as amazing.

[Jemima]

You know what was beautiful is I believe in, like, love and joy and happiness and people being good people and wanting to care. And so the media was obviously the thing that swum around my head.

[Jamie]

But I do think even though being diagnosed with cancer, you're still going doing Summertime Ball and Ronnie Scott's, but what.

[Jemima]

Other person in life, I can tell you now, I wish everyone that has ever been diagnosed with anything scary got to experience what I did at Summertime Ball. Because that was nothing to do with me being Jessie J. That was just people wanting to give me a hug.

[Jamie]

Oh, man. That's like.

[Jemima]

You know what I'm saying? Like, when I watch that back, it makes me cry every time when I say it. Cause you can see it. I mean, I saw me being little J. That wasn't Jessie J. When I said, this is my last show before I go and beat breast cancer, and I pull this face and I go like this. Cause I haven't said it out loud. I hadn't said that out loud to like 80,000 people. And everyone just erupted with joy and love. And I just was like, I'm gonna sing this next song now, like, I just. Cause I knew I'd just lose it. But that feeling that. That euphoria, that, like, energy, like, everyone that was there in that space, my team, my family, my friends, strangers, young old people holding up posters saying, like, we love you. You're gonna beat this. You've got, like, We've got you. I've beat it three times. And it was just. It was the most.

[Jamie]

Yikes. That's like, hit me.

[Jemima]

Yeah. And it wasn't me being Jesse. It wasn't me. I wasn't getting that love because I'm Jessie J. I was getting that love because people are kind to people. And I felt like when I was being put to sleep, it was that moment that I was playing in my head because it was an unimaginable amount of love that I received in that 25 minutes I was on stage. But in that moment, oh, my God, it was overwhelming. It was. And then to sing Living My Best life, you know what I mean? And then price tag and just see the, like, everyone just loving it. And, like, we're all just humans trying to get through this crazy thing called life.

[Jamie]

Yeah. When you wake up from the surgery, what goes through your head?

[Jemima]

Where is my boyfriend? Where is he? Why? When I tell you. Yeah. The worst bit for me.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Jemima]

First of all, I got my period the morning of the surgery.

[Jamie]

Okay.

[Jemima]

So I'm like, already. Just imagine my mood is off and they make you put on those, like, see through little pants. And I was like, this ain't doing nothing. Like, post baby periods are no joke. So I'm already just like, okay. So I've got to like. Like, just be out there.

[Jamie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jemima]

I mean, so I'm. My boyfriend's like, do you want some chocolate? And I can't eat because he's like. He's just being silly with me because I can't eat from the night before.

[Jamie]

12 hours before or whatever.

[Jemima]

Yeah. So I'm like, just like. Like, I was just like, trying to make jokes and stuff. But my. My surgery was a little bit delayed because I had something happen. So I was waiting for a while. So I hadn't eaten for like 16 hours or something by the time I went down.

[Jamie]

Stop it.

[Jemima]

And then they walk you down, don't they, when you're not. Not, like, unwell.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Jemima]

And that's the episode of, like, Black Mirror.

[Jamie]

Yeah. It's weird. It's your. And you've got that little cloak on that has a little hole at the back.

[Jemima]

Yeah. Your bum's Just swinging in the breeze.

[Jamie]

And you're walking past everyone.

[Jemima]

Yeah. You're like, hello. Like, don't mind me.

[Jamie]

And everyone's going, is that yeah?

[Jemima]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I. So, you know, you walk down to, like, the freezer, and it's literally like a Costco aisle freezer with, like. And they're like, just relax. And you're like, bruv, this ain't my workspace face. This ain't. What I'm used to is they're plugging me up to all these things. And he lays me down, and I'm literally. And I instantly, like, panic. So, like, my body starts convulsing.

[Jamie]

No.

[Jemima]

And, like, when I have panic, I shake like. Like, if you're. If your wife has a C section. Yeah, prepare for after a C section. You shake uncontrollably.

[Jamie]

Why?

[Jemima]

Because it's just the adrenaline and the drugs and, like, so. And I can't remember. It's something that happens in your body, but you're literally like. And that's what happened. And I was, like, laying there, and he was trying to put the needle in my hand, and I was like. And he was like, your vein is slipping around. And I was like, well, anytime now would be good. So I'm laying there and they're putting all these things on me. And he was like, right, I'm gonna give you the happy drug, which, like, relaxes you.

[Jamie]

Okay?

[Jemima]

And I've always talked to my mom about this. I'm like. Like, something happens before you're put to sleep that I don't like.

[Jamie]

Where it goes sunny black around you.

[Jemima]

No, no, no. Like, before. Before they put you to sleep, something happens that I don't like, that I just don't like the feeling of it. And I'm like, is it a painkiller? Like, what is it that they give you? So I've realized the happy drug does not make me happy.

[Jamie]

It doesn't.

[Jemima]

No. He was like, so I'm going to give you the happy stuff. And he literally put it in. And I went, nah. I went, nah. I was laying there. I went, no, put me the fuck to. I literally. Sorry if I can't swear, but, I mean, put me the asleep right now. Like, I was. And I was literally just like, I don't like it. This ain't a bit of me. And he was like, no, just relax. I was like, nah, Doc, put me to sleep. Babes, I'm not. I'm not here for this.

[Jamie]

I'm not.

[Jemima]

Like, I'm not here for this. Babes. And I was literally like. And I feel bad, actually apologized to him and I came back. As I said, put me the to sleep right now.

[Jamie]

There's a lot going on, man. Yeah.

[Jemima]

And then he gave me the oxygen and I literally repeated in my head the video of my son going, I love you, Mummy, that he'd recorded that morning that my mum had sent me. So I repeated him going, I love you, Mummy. And me going. And I was going, I love you too. I love you, Mommy. I love you too. And I probably said it six times. And then I fell asleep. Yeah. And I was. And I was thinking about Summertime Ball in that moment of like, just that cheer and love. That's what I was thinking about as I went to sleep. And then as I came around. I've actually filmed it. I'll show it to the end. I look crazy. I literally. And I remember just like being a. With it a little bit and I was going, where's her nan? Where's her nan? No, my boyfriend. Where is he? Because I could hear the nurses talking and I just wanted him. And as soon as I open, I'll get upset. Soon as I open my eyes and I saw him, I just burst into tears. And he filmed it. He, like, propped up his camera so that he could, like, I could watch it back. I was just so happy to be alive and like in the room and back and it'd be done and. And I'll never forget, I look down and they put like a plaster the whole way around and then just your nipples out. And I was like, why is my nipple like. My nipple was like, like awake. Like, it was like. He was like. It looked like a boob that had been to, like in jail.

[Jamie]

It was just like his nipple had been up all night.

[Jemima]

Yeah. And that's the first thing I said. I was like, not my nipple just. And I was off. I was. Yeah, literally. And so, yeah, so I had made. Was making jokes as soon as I came around and then he filmed me and I just.

[Jamie]

What a legend as well. Like. Yeah, like, that's. I know. Like, obviously people. Of course he's going to be there to support and do that, but, like, that's.

[Jemima]

Oh. He slept on a little bed next to me and wouldn't leave. They were like, you don't have to stay. I was like, baby, you don't have to stay. And he was like, I'm not leaving. And then I had my surgery. I came up to the. The ward at like 9:00pm at night.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Jemima]

Because it was Quite a delayed. I was supposed to go down really early and it was delayed, so I came quite late. So the anesthetic was still in my body when I woke up the next morning. That's a lot, so I won't know it was good. So I thought I was okay. So I woke up and I was like. So I got up, I had a little wash, I like, re. Straightened my hair, got dressed and like, was about to go for a walk and the doctor came in and was like, what are you doing? I said, I'm gonna go for a stroll.

[Jamie]

And he was like, no, you're not.

[Jemima]

Absolutely not. And he was like, sit down. Like, no. He was like, you will have to have another surgery tonight because you'll have a blood clot if you move around too much. He was like, you've got an open wound under there. Like you've literally. Yeah. He was like, I know you've got an implant there, but he was like, you've just. Everything's got like. Once these anesthetic wears off and the painkillers wear off, like, it's gonna be rough for a few days at least. And so, yeah, I went for like a 2 second walk downstairs and then came back up and then just. Just surrendered to the rest.

[Jamie]

So how are you doing now?

[Jemima]

Good?

[Jamie]

Yeah?

[Jemima]

Yeah, I'm all right. I am. So I had my surgery four weeks ago, so it's still really early again. I feel like, you know, I'm kind of being vague. I can talk about the bit that's already happened and isn't going to change.

[Jamie]

Are you resting?

[Jemima]

No. And I am. No, resting for me is like not driving, but I'm not allowed to pick anything up. Heavy.

[Jamie]

Okay.

[Jemima]

Nothing over like, I think it's like two kilos, which isn't very heavy, is it? How much is two kilos?

[Jamie]

Two kilos, is it? Well, it's a little bit. You can't pick anything up after over 2 kilos. No, 2 kilos is like a. A pint of milk.

[Jemima]

Yeah. No, it's ridiculous. I mean, I. I'm kicking a lot of things. Like I'm pushing things with my feet, but I am probably doing more than I. Than other people might do or. Okay. But I feel like I'm okay. But it's half a million.

[Jamie]

That's what, Half a newborn baby.

[Jemima]

Someone just told you that?

[Jamie]

Someone just told me that.

[Jemima]

Right. Weird. The iPad of information comes up.

[Jamie]

I just talked to it.

[Jemima]

It comes up. Yeah. Okay, so I put you. But like every newborn baby is different though. I'm like half of what? Newborn baby? Like all of them. Yeah, like an average baby.

[Jamie]

So that's where your mind was going.

[Jemima]

This isn't fact. Who's text you?

[Jamie]

So you're kicking a lot of things and just moving a lot things.

[Jemima]

No, no, I'm not kicking. No, I'm not. I am resting and I'm doing a lot of physio and, you know, just like doing the things I'm like, yeah. Making my house simpler to cope, preparing for. I've got to have. Obviously I'm having a second surgery to match them and to do a little bit on this one. That's not quite right. Preparing for that. With regards to my health, I'm good. I'm still in pain. It's still really sore. Like I'm really swollen still on this side because I had a drain that was in for two weeks. So it's like a bottle of blood. Yeah, I know. My son kept asking to drink it and I was just like. He was like, sky, drink mummy. And I was like, no, sweetheart, that's mummy's blood. And he was like, juice, Mummy. And I was like, no, bubba, I'm trying to show him. I'm like, look, it's going into mummy. And he's like, sky, have some sky, have some Mummy. And I'm like, no, baby, come on. Yeah. Oh, sweet boy. I miss him so much. So, yeah, so it's a bit sore still and I'm still having physio and I've got my. I haven't even like hit my 6 week appointment yet where it's like, you're okay. Like, you know, you've had a baby and then you go to your six week. I always. I know I'm talking about as if everyone's had a baby and I hate that. But it's only thing I can relate to is like when you go to the doctor and you get your sick weeks, six weeks sign off, they go, you can work out lightly. You could do. And that's what I'm waiting for. So I've got two weeks till that. No, I'm. Honestly, I'm okay. No, I'm actually okay. I'm all right. The weirdest thing for me is that this boob's still small and it's awkward because I wanted to. I'm so open. And then everyone's like, do I look at her boobs? Do I not? But like, this one is obviously the implant. It's like a blanket over, over. Yeah, it's like a mango under a bed sheet.

[Jamie]

You know, I know what you mean.

[Jemima]

Should we talk about my music? Because that's probably quite important.

[Jamie]

100%. I would love to. Yeah.

[Jemima]

I mean, so. But the plan was to put out a single like a month ago.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Jemima]

And then obviously when this all happened, we kind of avoided talking about it, but didn't. And then it was a bit like, I kind of got to the conclusion that I was like. Cause I was gonna do two singles back to back, like. Like I did. With no secrets to living my best life. And I kind of came to the conclusion that more people would be like, she all right if I put out a song that quickly? Well, because, like, she's a bit delusion. Like, you know, I've got to actually take a break. Cause it would have literally been a week after my surgery.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Jemima]

And so we've kind of waited a bit and like, obviously some things are gonna have to change back end of the year that obviously we're still deciding and figuring out. And I hate that. But it is what it is. I can't change what's happening and I have to just heal and. But I had a song called Believe in Magic that I wrote in 22 when I was pregnant. And the chorus lyric is, if I died today Wanna know that I made it Such a waste Being jaded All the little things that fix a broken heart Open your eyes and you'll see what can happen Gotta believe in the magic and like, when I sing it now and I listen to it now, like tapped out, the verses tapped out Run my eyes in the morning Tired of the detox Tired of the talking I get up, I show up day after day I just wanna and listen to Sade. And it's just like. When I listen to it now, I'm just like. It's like this really. You know, when you get angry, hopeful, when you're just like. Like, life is so good. Just look up like, you know. And I just. It just feels like the right song for me to share. And I don't think there's any format anymore. I don't want to feel like I'm focused on marketing strategy yet. It's important, but I just feel like if people feel it as authentic, then it will work. And the second song I was going to put out isn't right. So I'm not doing it. Wow.

[Jamie]

I love how you're. I love that's what you do. Creatively. It's so good that most people. I had this amazing thing once where it's. It's so. It's so random that I'm relating it to this, but the guy who created the Apple shops, right, he created all the Apple shops. And then apparently Steve Jobs came. I just read this the other day. Steve Jobs came and said to the guy, crater, what, do you think they're good? And he went, I don't think they're good. He said, well, don't open it. Don't do it. And everyone always feels like they need to put stuff out.

[Jemima]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jamie]

But actually, the best thing is just holding back until you think it's actually ready.

[Jemima]

Well, also just it being real.

[Jamie]

Yeah, completely.

[Jemima]

Like, if I put a song out that just doesn't. I, like, I love the song that I was gonna put out, but there's things going on in the world and, like, just what I don't want to sing about or do want to sing about, and what feels right for me right now, I have to sing about what I'm feeling. And so when no Secrets are Living My Best Life with the first two songs, I was like, this is ridiculous that this is the songs I'm singing. Because it felt I was like, singing.

[Jamie]

My life that's insanely authentic.

[Jemima]

Like, even the lyric of living my best life, like, no more tears. I'm not wasting time being sad tonight. That. And I'm singing that knowing that I've got breast cancer and no one knows. Do you know what I mean? Like, after all these years, finally I'm living my best life. And even. Even if, like, again, everyone says, like, it's literally scientifically proven that if you listen to music that lifts you up, your body will heal. Right. It helps heal, but it doesn't cure things, but it helps it, like, when you're feeling depressed and you listen to happy music. So, like, me being able to go out and sing that song, it was just so helpful.

[Jamie]

If someone's listening to this now, though. Yes. And someone's like, what advice would you give them if they're going through something or a family member or a friend or.

[Jemima]

You know, the only thing that's really helped me is I've blogged it. I don't know what I'm going to do with it, but I can't wait, man. But I've. I've videoed everything, like, getting. You know what's crazy?

[Jamie]

You've got to put that in a documentary. You've got to get that out.

[Jemima]

Maybe I don't. It's a lot of boobs. Well, I say it's a lot of boobs. It's not really, but you know what I mean? But I filmed myself crying and really being honest, like, holding nothing back cry, like saying exactly as I felt, however dark it was. So when I watched it back at any point, I never felt that bad. So I was always like, okay, I'm.

[Jamie]

Making progress documenting all of that and like, going through it and then showing that to people will be so powerful.

[Jemima]

Yeah, it's crazy, isn't it? It was one and two. Now to.

[Jamie]

It's just mad, but I do just.

[Jemima]

Want to say, to end this, if anyone has been diagnosed with cancer or is going through cancer treatment right now or has anyone that they love that's going through it, I'm with you. I'm giving you a hug. Yeah, I'm sending you all the good vibes and energy and just, there's not really much you can say, but I'm with you. Hello, I'm Elizabeth Day, the creator and host of how to Fail. It's the podcast that celebrates the things in life that haven't gone right and what, if anything, we've learned from those mistakes to help us succeed better. Each week, my guests share three failures sparking intimate, thought provoking and funny conversations you'll hear from a diverse range of voices sharing what they've learned through their failures. Join me Wednesdays for a new episode each week. This is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment original podcast. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts.

[Jamie]

Growing up when you had these health issues, you had this heart condition which is.

[Jemima]

Yes.

[Jamie]

What's it called?

[Jemima]

Wolf Parkinson White syndrome.

[Jamie]

Explain that.

[Jemima]

So I don't really know, to be honest. My, my dad has it as well and my granddad actually had it and he died from it. It I don't even know, six, seven years ago now. But he was a drummer, so he had like four heart attacks and he was like, I think I got wind because he had a really top heavy, like, strong body. But we're just Essex, like, you know, we just crack on, just cracking on. But when I was younger, it affected me quite a lot and I would collapse quite a lot so I couldn't play out. I was quite cotton walled and I had an ablation where they put two wires through your shoulder and two in your groin and like almost trying to zap your heart into a natural rhythm. And I remember coming round and this is what I grew up with is my dad went, it didn't work, so you can stop being attention seeker. And I was nine and it was that sarcastic humor, honestly, that has gone through me, my sisters, all of Us are like that. And. Yeah. So, you know. Because you know my dad.

[Jamie]

So you just. You just. You just deal with it and you crack on.

[Jemima]

Crack on. And he was like. And I'd have a pacemaker. Like, not a pacemaker. Excuse me, what they called, like, a heart monitor. Yeah. So I'd have that attached to me at school and just cracking on, but it's not. And I was on beta blockers for a long time and they made me go really, really green. And then I was called an alien at school and then I wrote a song about it and made loads of money. So.

[Jamie]

So fucked up.

[Jemima]

Yeah, fuck you.

[Jamie]

Fuck you, motherfuckers.

[Jemima]

But I did look like a rabbit. I had massive teeth and I was green. Like, I would have taken the piss out of me, you know?

[Jamie]

What do you mean you weren't green?

[Jemima]

I was green from one of the side effects of, like, the tablet. So I had this green tinge. I had matte, you know, Like TV teeth.

[Jamie]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jemima]

When kids have, like, widescreen TV teeth and their head is like the size of a pea, that was me for a long time. So, yeah, I was just, you know.

[Jamie]

What, you felt like a bit of a misfit at school.

[Jemima]

Yeah, I mean, I was always a bit of a misfit.

[Jamie]

Really.

[Jemima]

I can't even. I kind of liked it. I was in the corner writing a poem about everyone and everyone else was playing Tamagotchis, you know, And I was like, what is life? I was like this. Like, green rabbits coming right in. Psycho. You're so upset, aren't you? The whole time she's thinking, I can't believe I cut my hair like this crazy girl. But, yeah, I was very. I just had a weird. Like, a very different life quite early on from a lot of my school friends. Like, even just being on the west end at 9 and then going to school and then I was in hospital and then this happened and then, you know. So it was always kind of felt like I was experiencing.

[Jamie]

You have to grow up quick.

[Jemima]

Yeah. And just experiencing a lot of things that I couldn't have a conversation with people about, which is why I. I just felt so connected to the world when I got pregnant, because I was like, finally something I can, like, relate to people about.

[Jamie]

Really.

[Jemima]

Yeah. And have a conversation. It'd be normal. Because fame isn't normal. You know what that's like?

[Jamie]

Yeah, well, not on your level, but.

[Jemima]

No, it's the same. Fame is fame. If someone's going, what are you doing in Shanesbury's? How do you answer it. I'm buying some food. Like, you know, I don't know what the answer is. Is it just, you know, I'm here, I need a tampon, you know, like what I know.

[Jamie]

What are you doing here? Yeah, shopping.

[Jemima]

I know. I was on a plane not long ago and someone said, have you been on here the old time? I was like, so didn't want to brag, but I can fly. I came up over Paris, you know.

[Jamie]

Like what, bit cake, going back to school times, Right?

[Jemima]

Yes.

[Jamie]

That must be a little bit tough.

[Jemima]

No, it was. It sucked being bullied. It did. It sucked.

[Jamie]

But how badly, buddy, are we talking?

[Jemima]

Not really bad. Like, you know, names and I remember like the odd trip up and like being pushed over and like called names and. Yeah, it wasn't fun, but it. I also had an amazing childhood and loads of friends. But I also. I don't think I realized back then that there were so many kids that were so good at other things, way better than me. Like I was never academic. My dad always said to me I was articulate but quite thick. Like I could write a good poem, but it was all spelled wrong. You know what I mean? There was no grammar the same. Now I've got a spelling mistake of my own. Lyric, it says, don't loose instead of lose. It's just what. It's who I am. It's in my DNA. But like when I was younger, I just. I think that because of the situations that I was in, I got to showcase my talents quite young and a lot of the other kids didn't. And then it just felt like I was showing off, but I wasn't. I was just being me. So I'd almost try and dilute what I was good at to make the other kids feel better.

[Jamie]

Really. Because you knew, because you were. That. Because you were.

[Jemima]

I was quite self aware that I like knew that kids didn't like me because I could sing. So I'd like. Wouldn't go for the audition or I wouldn't do something as well or what.

[Jamie]

Because you're worried their reaction.

[Jemima]

Yeah, like they wouldn't like me. That was a very conscious thing. But then people felt sorry for me because I was always ill.

[Jamie]

When you were kidding you and you're going through a heart issue and then you have like, what do you learn from the.

[Jemima]

That?

[Jamie]

What does that. What does that give you?

[Jemima]

What did I learn from it? That I'm resilient. That I learned that I need to look after my body. That the world, the life that I'VE now been given. Now I can't. I don't do drugs. I've never. I don't drink. I've never smoked. You know, like, it's. It's exactly. It's given me an insight to, like. People go like, wow, your voice is so great. And I'm like, what do you do? You never lose my. Your voice. And I'm like, I'm so strict and I'm so disciplined, you know? And I think that's come from that. So it's like, that taught me that and gave me the protection that in some situations I wouldn't have had. Like, if I was thinking, oh, if I have. Like this. If I get drunk, I might have a seizure or I might. This. My heart will go into attack, a cardia, and I can't. I didn't do that. I was.

[Jamie]

Saves you from that as well.

[Jemima]

Yeah. And I was also confident. There's so many people that I feel like, especially now, and young people are pressured to do things. You've got to just stand in your truth of who you are. The amount of people that go like, I can't believe that you're not drunk. I'm like, I love it. Yeah, I love that. I'm gonna remember tonight.

[Jamie]

That's a. That's a. That's a really hard thing to do, I think. And especially for young kids to be confident in their space. I'm not doing that. I'm not following that. I'm just doing this. Who teaches you that? How do you learn?

[Jemima]

Was definitely a huge. Me and my mom literally had a moment last night where I hugged her and said, yo, you have no idea how special you are. Like, she has raised me and my sisters to just be so. And I think I'm realizing it more and more because I'm watching how she is with my son and how she is as a grandparent and how she is a mum to me as well as being a grandparent to him, but also being back in the limelight and back in this whole crazy thing, this industry, and realizing I've never been a yes girl. And that might be why people deemed me as a diva and a bitch back in the day, because I was always like, nah, that ain't a bit of me. I don't want to do that. I'm not going to do that interview or I'm not going here, or that doesn't make me feel safe. I don't want to be left with that guy and everyone be like, oh, she's difficult.

[Jamie]

Wow.

[Jemima]

All the Time, that's all. At the beginning of my career.

[Jamie]

Well, I did not know that. So.

[Jemima]

Yeah. And the media did that to me as well.

[Jamie]

Because you push back.

[Jemima]

Yeah, always. And I. When I'm even now and I sit with, like, even some, like, friends of mine or like, the people who've been in the industry, like, especially females that are like, you know, I'm just so glad I've now learned to say no or like. Like that. I. And I was like, oh, I never was like that. If anything, I should. I was the opposite. I was like, I ain't doing that. I was like. The Essex girl was like, are you mad? Like, nah, I'm not doing that. And I now realize that. I know that that was one of the reasons that I got deemed this, that and the other, especially in certain things that I did, even in the uk. And so, like, now I'm learning about. I'm so glad I stuck to who I am.

[Jamie]

A couple of things I want to unpack there. Right. Is that. Firstly, do you think because you were a woman, that that's why you were dubbed a diva? Because if a guy was pushing back, do you think you've got the same thing?

[Jemima]

No, I think guys get called divas. It's just not the word diva. I think it's a. I think guys get called dickheads and girls and women get called difficult. But I think. I think that when people call you difficult is because they're not able or capable to deliver on the thing that, you know, you could be deliverable on.

[Jamie]

What was your dad like? So who.

[Jemima]

My dad's the funniest person ever. Really? I wish he had his own podcast. He should have been a comedian.

[Jamie]

Who do you get on better with? Both or what are you more?

[Jemima]

I'm just like both of them. I'm literally. My mum and my dad got my dad's sense of humor and, like, deep, sociable connection with humans. But my mom is so patient and very. Everyone's always like, oh, your mom doesn't like me? I'm like, no, no, she does. She's just observant. And my dad's like. Like, they're complete opposites. Right? Yeah. Last one, last one. Breath. Yeah, last breath.

[Jamie]

What moments in your life do really, like, define you that aren't, like, those big successful moments that everyone else sees?

[Jemima]

Giving birth to my son.

[Jamie]

Really?

[Jemima]

Oh, my God. I cannot tell you how proud I was of myself. Woo. Have you got kids?

[Jamie]

My wife's pregnant. Yeah. Oh, I'm gonna give you a hug. Yeah, you Can.

[Jemima]

That's the best news ever. Oh, my God.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Jemima]

Yeah. Congrats. How do you feel?

[Jamie]

I haven't told. Oh, my God.

[Jemima]

I nearly had sex with the chair. Oh, my God. You all sort of know. You didn't see my ass, did you? I mean, if you did.

[Jamie]

I don't know.

[Jemima]

What.

[Jamie]

I just feel like I could. Yeah.

[Jemima]

No, no. That is literally what life's about. How do you feel?

[Jamie]

I feel. I feel.

[Jemima]

Well, I've gone all weird. It makes you so excited.

[Jamie]

Yeah, I feel really. I feel amazing. I was really scared.

[Jemima]

Like, it's terrifying.

[Jamie]

It was terrifying. And I just. I want a healthy. A healthy, happy baby.

[Jemima]

How? How?

[Jamie]

She's 10 weeks.

[Jemima]

Okay.

[Jamie]

So she's. And she's feeling quite anxious.

[Jemima]

Oh, I bet.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Jemima]

And this is the hardest bit. The first.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Jemima]

First bit to 12 weeks is when she'll do them. Her body will do the most work.

[Jamie]

Okay.

[Jemima]

So she's growing everything right now. The lungs, the. Everything.

[Jamie]

I just want to say she's exhausted as well.

[Jemima]

You will be because of that comment. Really, if you want to be a good dad, you will because you care. That's it. Good parents care that they're good parents.

[Jamie]

Tell me about. Tell me about your son.

[Jemima]

He is the most. I wish I could be here because he's the most hilarious, magical boy. Honestly, he is, like. It's like watching your heart walk around, and it's an opportunity for you to reflect on your own self and going, what do I want to teach this human? What do I want to let go of? Like, is my irritability saying, I want them to know? No. So then you try not to be as irritable, and you. You grow yourself. It will change your whole life. It's. It's the best thing that I've ever been through. Wow. And he turned 2, what, a week ago. And he is just the best. But giving birth. I can show you the video if you want. I have it. It's not gory. I have. I had a C section, but, like, you barely see anything gross. You just see him being pulled out, and there's Bob Marley playing and.

[Jamie]

Is that what you had in there?

[Jemima]

Yeah, I had Bob Marley playing. I was. I was. I had prepared for a natural birth.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Jemima]

So I did this thing called the Epino. I can give you a whole list of things.

[Jamie]

Yeah, I would love it.

[Jemima]

Like, helpful, Obviously. You don't need to do the Epino. That'd be weird. Don't need to stretch out your vagina. Oh, my God. So, yeah, it's this thing that you. Like the balloon that you pump, you put inside you and you pump it up to the size of a baby head and then you give birth to it every night. So I had done that right up and then I had this.

[Jamie]

Giving birth to a balloon every night.

[Jemima]

Yeah, it was a baby's head because that's the hardest part. And then the shoulders kind of flop out. Anyway, so then I ended up having a C section and I was like. I said to my boyfriend, I was like, now I've just got a really weird party trip, you know. But that's my point is that you guys will plan.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Jemima]

But the baby will decide in the end how they come into the world. And that will be their personality, you know, of just like. It's beautiful though, to have this discipline and like this inspiration to like love on your bodies, your cells, your partnership. Like, it's so beautiful when you.

[Jamie]

Because you had a miscarriage before.

[Jemima]

Yes.

[Jamie]

And I. I mean, I just. It must have been so.

[Jemima]

It sucks. It sucks for anyone that's been through it. Yeah, it sucks. It's no good way.

[Jamie]

My. My greatest girlfriend in the world, she was like best woman at my wedding. She. She had went through a few.

[Jemima]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

And. And I. And I didn't. I didn't have the. It when she, she. When she first told me, it. It like took my breath away. I was like. I wasn't prepared for it because you just don't think. But then because of that, what happens is that you then become learned and you become anxious.

[Jemima]

Yeah. It defin had a miscarriage. Like, obviously I did it when I was on my own when I did that. And I met my current boyfriend maybe three weeks after it happened. And then seven months later I was pregnant. And so. But that experience was, in the positive way, made me take every little moment of this pregnancy, the pregnancy that I had that went full term. It was the most magical thing and I just soaked it up and I. When I tell you as soon as your wife is showing and she wants to tell the world, tell her to rub that belly, take all the pictures, forget the noise because I tell you, if there's one judgmental crowd out there, it's. It's mums and parents and they all have their opinion. And it's so. It's just like projection. Ignore it. It's her experience, it's her body and her feeling. But it also, when you've gone through that, especially even if you haven't gone through it, but you know someone that has closely, it puts all of that, like, reality of, oh, this could go wrong.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Jemima]

At any point and you have to prepare yourself but that. For that. But not hold on to that.

[Jamie]

That's the hard thing.

[Jemima]

Because it's not easy.

[Jamie]

Because if you. You've Then. How do you. During your. Then pregnancy with your son now, how do you not get the fear and the anxiety?

[Jemima]

I was. The first three months, I was a mess. I was just convinced every time he didn't kick for a little bit, I was like, it's done. I had a scan all the time and luckily I. I could afford to. And I'm talking now on the other side. Like, I say this on stage, I say this in interviews. I feel so guilty that for so long I was on the side with the men and women that have struggled or have fertility issues or have child loss. And now I'm not. But I am. But I'm not. And I just have this. I have this, like, overwhelming sense of guilt that I'm just like. I kind of. I'm talking about it because it's happened to me and there may be people that it will never happen for. That breaks my heart that people that I know that deserve. Because there's so many people that don't want to be parents that, you know, don't want it or don't care for it and that have it. And there's people that want it so bad that don't get it. It breaks my heart.

[Jamie]

Did you always want to be a mom?

[Jemima]

Always. I'm. I'm the mum in my friend group. Like, I've always just been, like, maternal. Always. My whole life.

[Jamie]

I was it. But you said. I think you said this somewhere where when you had the miscarriage, you then again went into the show straight away.

[Jemima]

Yeah. The next day, man. Yeah.

[Jamie]

Again, you just. You seem to just, like, keep batting.

[Jemima]

On you, just because I just. I think people forget, like, Jessie J is the brand name.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Jemima]

But like, Jessica is. This is all of it. That is me. Whether I'm booked to go to the doctor's appointment or go for a walk with my son or go for dinner with my boyfriend or go on stage. I'm the same person in most situations. Like, it's just the brand name makes people think that I become something. And so for me, I went on stage as Jessica, but the brand Jessie J on the door to do a show, to do my job, to go to work. But I'd had a miscarriage the night before.

[Jamie]

So you can become that and then that's something else.

[Jemima]

Almost no, they all exist.

[Jamie]

They all exist at the same time.

[Jemima]

Yeah. Like, I'm not gonna pretend I'm not going through it, but I'm not gonna be. Make it so miserable that I'm not gonna be able to deliver. My show, it was an emotional show. It was a small, intimate show, you know, And I remember walking out and everyone was just, like, in silence. And I was just like, how's everyone feeling tonight? You know, and everyone's just like this. And I was like, we're allowed to laugh, guys. It's okay. And we all cried together and I sang my songs. But I don't think people realize, like, how much it lifted me up. Up. Like, I lived in LA on my own. I got pregnant on my own. I lost the baby by myself. I was alone for six days before my sister could come out. My mum wasn't well enough to travel. That was the hardest part, you know, because I had friends and stuff, but, like, you know, like to go and what I. For some reason, what you don't. What I never realized and thought about is that you lose the baby, but then you've got to lose the baby.

[Jamie]

I know.

[Jemima]

And that's the bit I just didn't. Never.

[Jamie]

I didn't know that put together.

[Jemima]

And I was just. In my head, it was like, it just disappears and I'm like, it's got to come out.

[Jamie]

I didn't. I didn't. I didn't realize that some people have to go and.

[Jemima]

Yeah, you have to have surgery, but it depends what stage you're at.

[Jamie]

Sure.

[Jemima]

You know, and. And you take tablets and they see if it comes naturally, and if it doesn't, then you have to go and, you know. And I ended up having an emergency DNC while I was awake.

[Jamie]

What's the dnc?

[Jemima]

It's. I don't want to go into detail, but it's. It's. It was the most pain I've ever been in. It was rough. And I came out after screaming. Like, I bit through my sister's hand. Like, I never spoken about this, but it was so intense. And my sister said, I'm so happy I was there to be able to know that when you have a moment, that. I understand why, because I was so like that no one else would understand because no one else saw that moment but her. And I'll never forget. I came out into the waiting room and one of the nurses said, there's lots of pregnant women out there. If that's. You know. And I said, said, do you know how happy I Am that they're not going through this.

[Jamie]

Good on you.

[Jemima]

Like, people were. So many of my friends were like, I was so angry when I had my iron and jell, and I was like, I wanted to hug every pregnant woman that I saw and went, I'm so happy that you're okay.

[Jamie]

Oh, man, that's such a great way to look at things.

[Jemima]

No, my pain does not take away from anyone else's joy.

[Jamie]

You feel things. Things deeply.

[Jemima]

Right.

[Jamie]

Like, so, like, you. Yeah.

[Jemima]

Can you tell?

[Jamie]

I can. Like, I can feel it on, like. But it's a beautiful thing, by the way. It really is. Like, never lose that. That's like the most beautiful thing. So when you're in love, you must feel that.

[Jemima]

Oh, it's beyond. Yeah, it's hard. It's. It's. You know, I'm. My mum always said to me, fall in love as many times as you can deeply. It will either work or it won't. And I never let that go. Like, I've never let it go. So when I go for it and I'm like. And also, again, fame, like, you can go for dinner with someone, get photographed, and it's like, when you're like, no, no, no, no. I just wanted to give him head, you know, like, it wasn't that deep. Literally, like, you know, sorry, Sonny, he's already. He's emailing HR. PR's quit.

[Jamie]

I know. Exactly.

[Jemima]

You know what I mean? It's not that deep. But then there are times where it is deep and they're just like. And they don't play up enough. And you're like, no, no, this is. This is. This is. This isn't Jessie J's boyfriend. This is the love of my life. This is. Let's put some respect on his name. He's the father of my child. You know, let's go. You know?

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Jemima]

That's the vibes.

[Jamie]

I freaking love that.

[Jemima]

Yeah. And then I like championing people. I like to. I said it to my band at rehearsals. They were like, but do you want. I'm like, do you know how much joy it gives me watching people enjoy their lives. Lives and doing their job and being. Or whatever they're doing or being a parent or being in a relationship and really enjoying it and being good at it and, like, getting like. And if I can give you, you.

[Jamie]

Like, passion like me, if I can.

[Jemima]

Give the spotlight to my drama and be like, go. And he's just like, I live for those moments. Take it. Take six minutes solo. We'll cut a song this is the moment, you know, like, I love that. So I like to make sure I give people their Jews where deserved.

[Jamie]

Where did you meet?

[Jemima]

Your work on Raya.

[Jamie]

Did you.

[Jemima]

It works.

[Jamie]

I. I tried to apply. Yeah. When I first went on, like, when.

[Jemima]

It was like so funny.

[Jamie]

It was like this, like, it's quite a secluded dating app. And I. And I applied and they were like, no, absolutely not.

[Jemima]

You can go for a run, just go for a jog. We know you like that.

[Jamie]

Do a couple of Ultramas.

[Jemima]

No, I mean, honestly, I had really struggled to.

[Jamie]

I love that you keep that as your story. That's the best.

[Jemima]

Yeah. Like, it is what it is.

[Jamie]

I love that.

[Jemima]

Yeah, it is what it is. Like, like I. He was in New York at the same time as me, which is the only reason I saw him, which is quite romantic. So we didn't meet. Like, I had. I seen him on the app and I'm a creep. I didn't actually say, I don't even know how you use the app. I just went and followed him on Instagram because it's connected to Instagram. So I followed him on Instagram and I'd not along had my miscarriage. And it was me and my friend that was in New York sitting down and she was like, come on, don't let. Let go of. Love you. You don't need to do this on your own. And I honestly felt like that was the reason that I had my miscarriage is because the energy of the world was going. You deserve to be in love, doing this with someone.

[Jamie]

This is gonna happen for you. So just.

[Jemima]

And it happened seven months later and I went full term with no complications. Right. And it's like to me, like, the soul and the spirit of my baby was there. And he still is now. He's just like, no, this isn't how I want my daddy to be. I wanna know him and I want it to be this guy. That's how I feel it, truly. Because him and my son are like, oh, they're like two peas in a pod. So anyway, so I was in New York.

[Jamie]

That is so beautiful.

[Jemima]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

That's insane.

[Jemima]

Truly how I feel like, truly.

[Jamie]

So you're in New York.

[Jemima]

So I'm in New York. So me and my friend, we're in the hotel and like, you know, I went on like a inspirational need to get away from my own head trip to New York. It was Christmas time. I just had the miscarriage. I went and had a little trip and I was all the world. I told whoever has Seen it, right? So whoever knew? And she was like, come on, let's get you back. And I was like, I'm not opening my riot app now. I've just had a miscarry. She was like, come on, girl. Let's have a look. So I was swiping through, you know, and then I was like, oh, he's cute. And he. He runs a basketball camp for kids in Denmark. And I was like, I love that. You know, like, someone that can be. He's got no kids, which is either a red flag or a big green flag. Yeah. You know, you never know. You know, it's like a certain age, and just, like, it's either a good thing or a bad thing.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Jemima]

You think he's cute? I followed him, and then I was like, no, no, no. He's gonna have seen what I've just gone through publicly. He's not gonna want to deal with me and my fame and this and, like, no. So I unfollowed him. Couldn't stop thinking about him, really. I just kept seeing him. Like, I just kept thinking about him. And I was like, okay, let me follow him again. And then he texts. He messaged me saying, you're way too cute to unfollow, follow, follow, follow, unfollow, follow. Like, to not say what you want to say. And I was like a little dog that wants to jump in a swimming pool. You know how excited they get. I was just like.

[Jamie]

You know when.

[Jemima]

You know when you're responding before they've even sent the message? I hate that when you're on Instagram, you.

[Jamie]

Yes, I am.

[Jemima]

Or someone says, are you hot? Before they've even. And they're just thinking, were you just sitting there waiting for me to message you? Yeah, it was like, hundreds, and you're like this. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. That was literally it. And I was just like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Like, And I lied to him and told him that I accidentally unfollowed him. And then it was this whole spiel. I ended up telling him the truth, like, a few months in. But anyway, we started talking, and then he was in Denmark, and then I was in la, and obviously, I was going through what I was going through, and I wanted to, like, make sure I was good before I flew anywhere. And then the day I was supposed to leave, I got Covid.

[Jamie]

Oh, my God.

[Jemima]

So then I had. Then I had Christmas on my own. I was like, let's go, baby. I was like, yeah, like, miscarriage done. Like, Covid pisses for Myself killing it. Yeah. 100. And so I just was like. And I FaceTimed him for the first time on. I Remember on the 15th of December, the day I got Covid. And so I flew home on January.

[Jamie]

You just FaceTime him?

[Jemima]

Yeah. And I was like looking rough as anything.

[Jamie]

Just completely naked.

[Jemima]

Yeah, yeah, just fully naked. Like cream.

[Jamie]

Just looking.

[Jemima]

If you can take me like this. Everything's uphill from here. K. No eyebrows, just like. Let me make sense of that. I've got naturally really light hairs. I have to dye my eyebrows every three days anyway.

[Jamie]

Was there an immediate connection?

[Jemima]

Oh, 100%. He's the most calm. We're the polar opposite, aren't we?

[Jamie]

He's just calm.

[Jemima]

He is calm and patient. Very logical. Like very. Doesn't think with emotions. And I'm the opposite.

[Jamie]

Yeah, but you need that Ying to the Yang.

[Jemima]

100%. That's what I want. Yeah. So he's very like. And I needed that. And yeah, he's just. His patience is beyond me.

[Jamie]

It's like, I love that you're such a champion. I'm always like that. To speak so great about your partner the whole time.

[Jemima]

Always.

[Jamie]

It's the best.

[Jemima]

But let me tell you, when we met. So I flew home on the 1st of January. It was on the 2nd of January, so I'd missed New Year. I was in the air for New Year on my own. He was like, do you want to have a bread roll? And I was like, you know, know what? Happy New Year. I might even have a Sprite with a straw. You dirty girl. Let's go. I'll have another bag of pretzels, please.

[Jamie]

Going to the bar pretending you're crazy on the bike. Ah, look at me. Someone take a photo.

[Jemima]

Taking a in the eye.

[Jamie]

All right, few months.

[Jemima]

Let's just do wild stuff for no reason. Yeah. No. Imagine just going absolutely mental. But no, I was. I remember landing and just being like, I'm. God, I'm so glad I'm home after everything I'd just gone through with. And Covid was like, wasn't great, but it wasn't awful for me. So I was kind of glad that I like, you know, it was just horrible the amount of people that lost people. So I got home and we met at the Crimpier hotel. And I am like sweating, trying to unpack. And he's like, I'm already here. And I was like, oh my God. And I remember just being like, give me a second. And I was trying. I was jet lagged and I was A mess. Mess. And he was. I got downstairs and no, no word of a lie. There was like Christmas music playing and he was leaning against the lift, the most suave. And I couldn't make eye contact. And I'd spoken to him every day on the phone for, like, weeks. And I was just like, hello. Hello. And he must have thought he's. You're an absolute lunatic.

[Jamie]

Did you kiss straight away?

[Jemima]

No, we didn't. No. We went up to the room because obviously I didn't want people to see us. But then we went to. What's it called? Winter Wonderland, and it was his last day and we were walking around Winter Wonderland, and he just stopped in the middle of a massive crowd and just kissed me. And I was like, oh, my God, you're the guy. Because no one would ever do that. They're too scared. And I was like, people are looking. He said, I don't care. Yeah, he's a fucking legend. Bring him in.

[Jamie]

Here he is.

[Jemima]

He's under the table. He's so small. It's a little borrower plot twist. He's 1 foot 4.

[Jamie]

I mean, we haven't even mentioned the fact that you won Singer, the Chinese show, which was, like, viewed by one Google document. It's not even on the Google. No, but it's on. Viewed by 1.2 billion people.

[Jemima]

I know. The finale was. Yeah, you won it. Yeah, I did win it. Yeah. And I go to China a lot. It's like a whole another universe. Yeah. Because they don't have the same social media platform, so it's like people can exist there as. As artists. And, like, that's why I love bridging the gap, which is why I was so happy when that's. That show went viral elsewhere, because people are like, what is this?

[Jamie]

So do you have a social media account? Yeah.

[Jemima]

Oh, yeah.

[Jamie]

How many followers are on it?

[Jemima]

I don't know. I don't pay attention.

[Jamie]

Come on.

[Jemima]

You know what? I screen grabbed on my Instagram the other day and my sister messed me going. 49 million people have looked at your page. And I was like, oh, my God. I didn't realize it showed that. That. Yeah, mad, mad amounts of people coming through to see me sing.

[Jamie]

But also a show like Singer. Yeah, that'll also. Just.

[Jemima]

Do you know what the format was? It is.

[Jamie]

Well, I'm assuming it's a singing show, right?

[Jemima]

Yeah. I didn't know I was going to be a contestant, so I signed up for it kind of on a whim. I was in the studio writing Rose, my Fourth album that no one knows exists. What you do now. It's really good.

[Jamie]

That's your mom's name, right?

[Jemima]

My mom's name is Rose. Yeah. It was realizations, Obsession, sex and empowerment. So it was four installations. And it's my favorite. I love my album. It's my favorite. That. The first one. That one and the new one. They're my three favorite albums I've ever made. And so I was in the middle of writing that. I was a bit. I was a bit down. I was not in my. In the best place. I was a bit. I was growing up my hair. So I looked like Kris Jenner coming out the shower.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Yeah. And it looks. It's like a weird microphone.

[Jemima]

Yeah. I don't. Like. I actually look like a Lego man. And it wasn't fun. Just take it off. Yeah, no, it was just bad. And so I was in hiding, and my. My manager at the time was like, do you want to do this TV show? And I was like, you know what? Just sign me up. He's like, but you don't. We don't really know what it is. I just. Sign me up. I'll go. I'll fly there and I'll do whatever. So I went there thinking I was a guest and I was a contestant. I did 13 episodes. And I didn't know what anyone was saying because not everyone was speaking Chinese, like in Mandarin. So I was like, okay. So then I had a translator. So I did. The first week, I did Domino. Second week was I have nothing. It went viral.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Jemima]

Yeah. And then the third week, I did. I can't remember now. Of course I can't remember, like Luther Vandross or something. And then this week just have happened. I just kept staying and I was like, okay, this is a thing.

[Jamie]

I guess this is happening.

[Jemima]

This is. Guess it's happening. And it was a live vote. It was like. It was a thing. It wasn't like a. It was a. It was mad.

[Jamie]

But. But it just.

[Jemima]

But everyone on the show is like, huge. They're artists that are established.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Jemima]

So it's like there was like Hua. Hua Wong Fong. It was like amazing. Massive artists that do like 50, 60,000 capacity venues.

[Jamie]

And it's.

[Jemima]

It's.

[Jamie]

It's like the ultimate. It's like ultimate talent show. It's like the ultimate.

[Jemima]

One of the biggest music TV shows in the world.

[Jamie]

But it's also because everyone is already successful in their own.

[Jemima]

Right here.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Jemima]

It's like I've been trying to bring it here, but no one would. I don't think people would do it.

[Jamie]

Winning. That just shows how great your voice is as well.

[Jemima]

I mean, I just.

[Jamie]

You can say it.

[Jemima]

Yeah. No, I mean I work my butt off. But it's really just like it was beautiful to sing songs. Like, I know that I don't quote me on this, but I believe that like Purple Rain hadn't been performed like, like on their TV ever. And like to be able to bring that like my sing my favorite songs with an orchestra, it was just amazing. It was so much fun.

[Jamie]

I'm so glad you're back with Music Man. Honestly, like, just like. Like I'm. I'm a fan firstly, but then also meeting. Yeah, meeting you today. You. You're a legend, dude.

[Jemima]

Thank you.

[Jamie]

Yeah. You're a strong word. Yeah, you are. You're 100%. Can I thank you for doing this? I know you've done a lot and I have. I can really appreciate.

[Jemima]

Honestly, I've got nothing left to talk about now. Well, I'm allergic to hazelnuts. That's the only thing I think I've not told people.

[Jamie]

That's our. That's our big one.

[Jemima]

I had them recently by mistake. It was bad.

[Jamie]

Okay, cool.

[Jemima]

See you later.

[Jamie]

See you later. Wait, I've got. We like to. No Nutella.

[Jemima]

No. No Nutella. No Kinder. Bueno.

[Jamie]

We got Quick Fire, eight questions. You ready?

[Jemima]

I'm ready.

[Jamie]

Here, go.

[Jemima]

We.

[Jamie]

We go. Saying a phrase that makes you smile or cheers you up.

[Jemima]

If it's not okay, it's not the end. Because it will be okay in the end.

[Jamie]

Best compliment anyone's ever given you.

[Jemima]

Great hits. No.

[Jamie]

So many things are coming to your head that you don't.

[Jemima]

No, no, no. I think probably just that I'm funny. I think that's probably a big compliment.

[Jamie]

It's the best. Right? What scares you most about yourself?

[Jemima]

My over sensitive imagination. Egg.

[Jamie]

When was the last time you cried?

[Jemima]

This morning in the shower. Yeah. When? I know why. Then my son took a. On the mat, literally right outside. And I opened the door and I was naked, covered in soap. And it was just steamy hot.

[Jamie]

Did you bare handed?

[Jemima]

I had to.

[Jamie]

Okay.

[Jemima]

And then I went back in the.

[Jamie]

Shower and cradled it.

[Jemima]

And ate it. No, no, no.

[Jamie]

Just wanted to feel really close.

[Jemima]

Just love him so much. Come on, baby. I'll give you. Come on. Chocolate ice cream, Mommy. No, no, I didn't eat it.

[Jamie]

What's something you can't let go of?

[Jemima]

Something I can't let go of that. My. That my security Guard Dave didn't. Didn't phone me before he decided to leave the world. Hate that. That's the first thing that came into my mind.

[Jamie]

Yeah. What's your guilty pleasure?

[Jemima]

Reality tv.

[Jamie]

Yeah, it's good. What turns you off?

[Jemima]

Poor hygiene.

[Jamie]

What turns you on?

[Jemima]

Oh, an organized pantry. Oh, you better face those labels to the front. You dirty, dirty boy. What turns me on?

[Jamie]

Give me some.

[Jemima]

Literally. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jamie]

You walk in there, organize.

[Jemima]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

What do you like most about yourself?

[Jemima]

My perspective.

[Jamie]

Last one. Favorite swear word.

[Jemima]

I don't know.

[Jamie]

You don't have to swear.

[Jemima]

Maybe.

[Jamie]

Yeah. It's a good one.

[Jemima]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

That you eat.

[Jemima]

Yeah. That comes out of my. No, absolutely not.

[Jamie]

Jesse J. You're the best. Thank you so much.

[Jemima]

Thank you for having me. This was fun. So much was shared. That was so much.

[Jamie]

Wow. She's amazing.

[Jemima]

She is amazing. She has the most incredible attitude and like the things she's overcome that you would honestly never even know.

[Jamie]

Yeah, it's amazing what she's overcome. And like we said, you know, we. Jesse shared that very personal information. And if you are affected or are struggling, we're going to leave some links in the description that you can click on as well to help you. Also, if you would like to get in touch, we want to hear from you what you like and don't like about the show. We would love to hear about that and what guests you think we should have next. We read them all. And if you haven't subscribed to the show already, please do get in touch at Great Company podcast on Instagram or send us an email. Greatcompanyjamproductions.co.uk everything is in the show description.

[Jemima]

It is.

[Jamie]

Okay, thank you so much for listening and we'll see you next week on a Wednesday for another episode of Great Company.

[Jemima]

Greetings, homeowner.

[Jamie]

Repeat after me if my home system.

[Jemima]

Or appliance breaks down.

[Jamie]

American home shield will help fix or.

[Jemima]

Replace the covered item, no matter its age and exhale.

[Jamie]

Oh, and home warranty plan started.

[Jemima]

29.99Amonth. American home she don't worry. Be warranty. Visit ahs.com listen for 20% off any plan.

[Jamie]

See ahs.com contracts for coverage details including limit amounts, fees, limitations and exclusions.

[Jemima]

Now you can fly anywhere in the.

[Jamie]

World and pay discount prices on your airline tickets.

[Jemima]

Book a flight today to London, Paris.

[Jamie]

Madrid or anywhere else you want to go and pay a lot less guaranteed.

[Jemima]

Call. Call the international travel department right now.

[Jamie]

At low cost airlines, 8002-1551-4180-0215-5141. That's 800-215-5141. Hello everyone. We're Jamie and Sophie. You may remember us from Newlyweds and then Newlyweds.

[Jemima]

But now, guys, things are about to get even wilder as we take on our biggest adventure yet. Becoming parents.

[Jamie]

Yeah, that's right, Newlyweds is now Nearly Parents. And we're bringing you the same honest, heartwarming takes on our journey to parenthood. I guess.

[Jemima]

Join us as we find out what it really means to become a family while trying not to kill each other.

[Jamie]

Get ready for Nearly Parents. Your favorite New Podcast Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcast everywhere acast.com hey, do you want to hear the next big new tech podcast hit before anyone else? Check out the daily tech news show Experiment Week. We're swapping out our normal shows to try out some new ideas. We've done this before and launched big hits like behind the Data, the Tech John and more. This year we have exclusive Android faithful reactions to the Pixel 9 event. It's all on the DTNS feed starting August 11th. Don't miss it. Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts Everywhere Acast. Com.