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Jamie Laing (3:48)

My name is Jamie Laing and this is Great Company. Welcome back to Great Company, guys. Now, this is my part two of my conversation with Jesse Nelson. So if you haven't listened to part one, go back and listen to it. We released it on Wednesday. So in part one, Jesse spoke about her beautiful twins, Ocean Jade and Sorey Monroe, and their SMA diagnosis. SMA stands for spinal muscular atrophy. Now in this episode, today, today in part two, we talk about Jesse's childhood. We talk about growing up wanting to be an entertainer, losing her confidence and finding it again. We also talk about the X factor little mix and her decision to leave the band. Before we get into it, I'm just gonna ask you to do one quick thing for me if that's possible. Please just follow and subscribe to Great Company. It's totally free and we wanna keep it that way. Okay. And it really helps us keep bringing the guests you love and making the show bigger and better for you every single week. If you can do that one thing. Thank you so much. Okay, let's get into part two with the amazing Jesse Nusson. Where the documentary starts is like right at the beginning, right when. And there's this moment in the documentary which I was like, it's footage of you as a kid and you're on stage and you're singing and your voice cracks. And for you, you say, that's the kind of moment that you became aware of, like, audience and things like that. And that for me, I don't know why, but this beautif, sweet, gorgeous singing and your voice cracked on Stage, it was like, oh, my God, what were you like as a kid?

Jesse Nelson (5:21)

I just always wanted to entertain people. So whether that was, like, making people laugh, whether that was singing, dancing, acting, I always knew that it was when I got older, that was what I wanted to do, just entertain. Even when I was at school. Oh, I was so shit at school. Like, I. I was a bit. Little bit naughty in terms of. I was a bit of a class clown. I liked making people laugh. But in terms of, like, really knuckling down and, like, getting on with my schoolwork, I was just shit because I just felt like I knew that I wasn't gonna do any of that because.

Jamie Laing (5:51)

You didn't want that. That's not what you agreed with. You weren't there. And I.

Jesse Nelson (5:53)

And it's mad. I remember getting called in. I think it was around the time I was taking my GCSes, and the head teacher pulled me in and she said, you know, we need to have a chat because, you know, it's not looking great. And I was like, okay. She's like, so what is it that you want to do? Like what? You know, future wise? And I said, well, I want to be a singer. And she looked at me and she said, right, well, I don't think that's gonna happen. And I was like, okay. She was like, I think you need to start, you know, really knuckling down and taking school seriously, because that's.

Jamie Laing (6:31)

Because that's what you need to do in order to succeed, right?

Jesse Nelson (6:34)

And then the funny thing was, was when I won X Factor, they wanted me to come back and give a speech. And I thought, all right, well, I'll tell her what you said, then I'll give that speech.

Jamie Laing (6:41)

Isn't that funny when that happens? I was the same at school. I was like, I just hated work. And also, if you're not academically smart, you're kind of seen as an outcast. And then also on yourself, you kind of think you're stupid. I remember my English teacher said to me. I went. I went. He was great, though. And shout out, Mr. Hindley, wherever you are in the world. But. And he was amazing. He really was amazing. And he was a teacher, kind of really sort of leaned into my. Because I was very naughty. And I said, Ms. Honey, why can't I spell? And he said, jamie, it's because you're stupid. That's what he said to me in the class. And I was like, okay, I guess, like, is it not because of something else? So you automatically, in your head, you sort of think if you're not achieving those grades, you sort of think less of yourself. And then I think what happens is that you kind of go and seek other things in other areas. And that's why I went into, like, sports and entertainment, because I thought, well, if I can't achieve validation here, I need it from somewhere else. But take me back to being at school. School, hard time, easy time, apart from the teachers. What were other kids like?

Jesse Nelson (7:41)

I went to, like, four different schools.

Jamie Laing (7:43)

Really?

Jesse Nelson (7:44)

Yeah. So went to one with my brother, my brothers, and my sister was the first one. And then I left because I wanted to go to, like, a proper theatre school. So I went to Sylvia Young Theatre School.

Jamie Laing (7:54)

You did?

Jesse Nelson (7:54)

And Rita Ora was in my class.

Jamie Laing (7:57)

Yeah, There we go.

Jesse Nelson (7:58)

So, yeah, so I went to Sylvia, so bless my mum. So I had to audition for that and it was for a scholarship and I got down to the last three. I never got the scholarship and my mum knew how much I wanted to go, so she just worked every job under the sun to be able to pay for the fees to go. And I went. And I loved certain parts of it and there were parts of it that I absolutely hated. So the parts that I hated, I would just not turn up. And then bless my mum, she'd be like, oh, you know, skin for this. And you're just not rocking up to school.

Jamie Laing (8:28)

So what was the bits you didn't like?

Jesse Nelson (8:29)

Well, you'd have to have elocution lessons. And I hated that because I was like, you know, I'm an Essex girl, I'm not. And I just feel like, why, you know, what makes us beautiful as human is that we're all different. So why do we want to sound and speak the same? And, you know, the lady fucking hated me. She, you know, if I was common as Mark and. And I just hated it. And I had to do ballet and I didn't like that either. But, like, acting, singing, dancing, loved all of that. But, yeah, I'd only. I'd, like, turn up to the. So Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday would be like normal school days, and then Thursday and Friday, we dancing, singing and acting all day. So Friday was like the days when it would be elocution and ballet and I just never turn up on a Friday. And then me and my aunt have a discussion, then she was just like, you know, come on, have you always.

Jamie Laing (9:13)

Been like that, Jessica? Because that feels to me in my eyes, seeing that, that feels like someone who knows what they want to do.

Jesse Nelson (9:19)

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, this is the. So some people call Me, a diva back in the day. But I've always known what I will and won't do. But you can't tell me. Like, no one can tell me what to do.

Jamie Laing (9:32)

And you've always been.

Jesse Nelson (9:33)

Always been like that. And I don't know where that stems from. I don't know if that stems back to, like, childhood or. And a sense of control. And I'm also actually like it in relationships.

Jamie Laing (9:43)

Really?

Jesse Nelson (9:43)

Yeah. Sorry. I know. I'm literally going into so many.

Jamie Laing (9:48)

This is. Are you kidding me? This is wonderful. Okay, so you do. You're Sylvia Young, you're enjoying it and then making friends, popular.

Bilt Advertiser (9:56)

Yeah.

Jesse Nelson (9:56)

I mean, I don't feel like I've ever been like. I think I feel like I've always been able to just get on with everyone. I feel like I'm quite a social butterfly. I feel like I can be in a room with anyone and I can chat to anyone. But then when I left Sylvia's, I was then put into a school that at the time was the only school that had space. And that was where I got really bullied. And it was. It completely, like, broke my confidence because I was very, very confident as a child. And then I went to school and got really bullied and then, yeah, that, like, I guess that's maybe where my confidence started to break. Yeah. Break down.

Jamie Laing (10:39)

How old were you at that point?

Jesse Nelson (10:40)

13. I would say maybe 12. 13. Anyway, I eventually left that school because I couldn't deal with it and I got alopecia because of the stress from the bullying and I left.

Jamie Laing (10:50)

But just you brush over it so quickly, that is, like, only because I know that so many people who love you, adore you, who are listening to this right now are probably in a similar situation. Maybe they're 15, 16, 13 years old. Maybe they're at work, whatever it is, and they're going through this thing where people are being mean, they're being bullied and maybe. And I remember speaking to Luke Evans, right, who grew up in Wales, and he was bullied and he had this vision that, oh, one day he would get out of it. But a lot of kids that age don't ever have that vision. They think they're stuck in this space and they're not going to be able to get out of it. And this is what life is going to be forever.

Jesse Nelson (11:22)

But it's only as I've got older and I've, like, really been through the shit that I've been through that I can now really understand a bully, because I just, you know, I truly believe that no real, genuine, happy person that is secure within themselves would ever feel the need to, whether it be write a comment on someone's Instagram, whether it be say something to them in person, do that I believe. And. And now I see them so differently because I. And I actually feel sad for them because I'm like, if you were truly happy, you wouldn't. You wouldn't be doing that. So there must be something really, like, deep and internal within you that's going on to make you want to do that. Because, you know, I, you know, of course I've got a lot of going on, but I am still genuinely, like, within myself. Like, happy.

Jamie Laing (12:12)

Yeah.

Jesse Nelson (12:12)

And I could never. I couldn't dream of ever going on someone's picture and writing something or. Or going up to someone in person and putting them down. Like, I. I feel like I could only ever get there if I was truly, truly, you know, because what gives.

Jamie Laing (12:27)

Them the motivation to go and do that?

Jesse Nelson (12:29)

Well, I think they're just. There's something deep, truly internal are going on to make someone do that. I really believe that. And I think that's when you have to see them completely different. And it's really sad.

Jamie Laing (12:39)

But when you're in the moment, when you're 13 years old, you're just like.

Jesse Nelson (12:41)

That'S what's so hard because you only really get to that stage when you get older and you've been through loads of shit. But, yeah, so that happened. I left that school.

Jamie Laing (12:49)

But then you had said you had alopecia.

Jesse Nelson (12:51)

Yes.

Jamie Laing (12:52)

Because of the stress.

Jesse Nelson (12:53)

Yeah.

Jamie Laing (12:53)

How did that manifest? What happened there?

Jesse Nelson (12:55)

Well, I just remember doing my hair and I noticed I had a big bald patch and I was, what the is that? And I didn't. Didn't even know that it was alopecia. I didn't know what alopecia was. I didn't know. And then. And then he obviously went and got it checked out and they told me it was alopecia and it can be caused from stress. And then I went to an. I. I was taken out of that school. There was a teacher there at the time that knew I was really into, like, music and dance. And she said, I'm going to this brand new school and they specialize in performing arts, and I think I can get you a space there. And I was like, okay, amazing. So that ended up being my last school, and it was the best school I've ever been to. It gave me my confidence back. I just felt like I really just became me again.

Jamie Laing (13:56)

So what Made you audition for X Factor.

Jesse Nelson (13:58)

I've just always been the biggest fan of X Factor. Like, religiously, like, you know, you. Like back in the day when, you know, just when times were just more simple and you'd run home to watch it.

Jamie Laing (14:10)

We didn't have social media. We didn't have the best.

Jesse Nelson (14:13)

I don't you feel so lucky to have, like, lived in that era? 100 I feel so.

Jamie Laing (14:17)

Like, we had, like a Game boy and like a Slush Puppy.

Jesse Nelson (14:19)

It was like, go like, knock for your friends and ask if they're coming out to play.

Jamie Laing (14:23)

Yeah. Like, and now you can't do that because you think, like, you can't leave your house, literally.

Jesse Nelson (14:28)

But, yeah, I was the biggest fan of X Factor. And, you know, when I was younger, I actually thought it was acting was my main passion. One of my. My very, very first audition as a child, I don't know if you've seen this film, was for man on Fire.

Jamie Laing (14:44)

Yes.

Jesse Nelson (14:45)

Denton Washington.

Jamie Laing (14:46)

It's one of my favorite movies.

Jesse Nelson (14:47)

You know the little girl that's in that. That was my very first audition. And I remember my agent coming up to me. She said to me. I was eight. She said to me, listen, I've got you a massive audition. Like, I don't think you understand how huge this is. It's with Denzel washes, I'm thinking. But yeah, that was. That was. I've still got the script to this day. That's in the film.

Jamie Laing (15:09)

It's one of my favorite movies.

Jesse Nelson (15:10)

It's amazing. Chrissy. Yeah.

Jamie Laing (15:12)

Oh, my God.

Jesse Nelson (15:13)

So, yeah, so I've completely got off subject.

Jamie Laing (15:15)

Wait, wait, so you. So, so ever since you were even eight years old, you were hustling, auditioning, try.

Jesse Nelson (15:21)

Loved it. Honestly, like, it just. It was. I've always wanted to be in entertainment.

Jamie Laing (15:26)

What was it about it? Trying to explain that to me because.

Jesse Nelson (15:28)

So, yeah, what is it funny you say this? So I think the reason that I love acting so much is because I don't have to be myself. And so, you know, when I do music videos, when I was in Little Mix, they were the bane of my life. Like, I cannot tell you how much I despise to do in a music video, but anytime we didn't have to be ourselves or we got to play a character or do a bit of acting, I was like. I loved it. I was like in my element. And I think that's the reason why. Because I don't have to be myself, really.

Jamie Laing (16:00)

So you can then. You can then become something. You can escape and become Something else.

Jesse Nelson (16:04)

Yeah. And I think that's why I loved acting so much and that was like, my main passion as a kid. But then, yeah, obviously didn't work out. Then I went on to dancing. Then I danced with diversity for, like, since I was 12. So, yeah, so they're like.

Jamie Laing (16:18)

Sorry, the research has not told me, these little nuggets. Are you kidding me?

Jesse Nelson (16:24)

Yeah, but this was before they were diversity, so.

BetterHelp Advertiser (16:27)

Wow.

Jesse Nelson (16:28)

So. So, yeah, I went. So went to their, like, dance school at, like. Yeah. At the age of 12.

Jamie Laing (16:33)

It's active, it's community. It's part of, like a. You. You like being.

Jesse Nelson (16:36)

Oh, my God, I love it so. Yeah. Love it so much. So I was with them up until I was 19 and then they. So what happened was we were all just like one big group. Then. Then there was a girl group, which I was in, and then there was diversity, the boy group, and they had decided they wanted to audition for Britain's Got Talent. And then they won it.

Jamie Laing (17:00)

Amazing.

Jesse Nelson (17:01)

And it's just. It's just fucking mad. They won it. And then I felt like when they won it, like, Ashley wasn't around as much to teach and I kind of just like, lost the, like, passion that I had for it because they weren't there as much.

Jamie Laing (17:14)

You needed that leader almost. You knew that thing.

Jesse Nelson (17:16)

Yeah. And I just, like, they were like my family at the time. I was so close with them. So when they weren't, there was, like different teachers coming in and I just didn't. I just didn't have the same love for it as I did. And then, literally, then day one, Brit's Got Talent, and then the year later, I won X Factor.

Jamie Laing (17:31)

So you go into X Factor. Do you remember. Do you remember the. Because in the documentary, which is amazing, it shows that very first audition, and I'm sorry, I'm going to say it. Gary Barlow can fuck off. Like, I'm not even joking.

Sleep Number Advertiser / LifeLock Advertiser (17:45)

You.

Jamie Laing (17:45)

No, no, no. I sat with him in a sawney, wore Budgie Smugglers once. I'm not even joking. It was a win.

Jesse Nelson (17:50)

But now when I watch my audition back, I'm like, fair dues. Because it was fucking horrendous. So I'm like, you had every right to say what you had to say, but obviously at the time, I just remember it being the year that Simon Cowell wasn't there and he was the one that I was just like, was.

Jamie Laing (18:03)

That disappointing that he wasn't.

Jesse Nelson (18:04)

That was so disappointing. Yeah. Because you. What, you're, like, so disappointed, but, like.

Jamie Laing (18:07)

You'Re like, it's gonna be a dud because Simon's not there. That's what you're thinking, right?

Jesse Nelson (18:10)

But also, I was like, they were telling me that Gary was the Simon. So I was like, okay. So when he obviously fucking, like, absolutely annihilated me, I was like, this is horrendous.

Jamie Laing (18:19)

But describe as someone who doesn't know any. Again, it's in the documentary. It's amazing. But you go onto stage as X Factor. It's a. And it's also X Factor had changed by that point where it's then in.

Jesse Nelson (18:29)

Front of a massive audience.

Jamie Laing (18:31)

A massive audience.

Jesse Nelson (18:32)

Yeah. It's not just the one on one in the.

Jamie Laing (18:33)

And you're how old?

Jesse Nelson (18:34)

I just turned 20 on the day that I did my audition.

Jamie Laing (18:37)

Okay, so you're 20 years old. Okay. You're like, all of us, we're trying to figure out life. We're insecure, where all of those things. You go on stage and you're in front of Gary Barlow, Louis Walsh, Talisa and Kelly Rowland also.

Jesse Nelson (18:49)

I just want to say that was the first time. So, you know the video you saw in the documentary, I was singing on stage as little girl. That's then the next time I'd ever sung in front of anyone since that time. So, honestly, I actually don't. When I really think about me mentally, I'm like, I don't know what I was thinking because.

Jamie Laing (19:07)

So, Jesse, let me get that straight. So you. You went on stage as you must have been, I mean, what, 10?

Jesse Nelson (19:14)

Oh, that was eight. Eight.

Jamie Laing (19:16)

You're eight. And you sing a song beautifully. Can I say, and at one point, there's a little crackle in your voice. And you do this very sweet thing in the documentary where you say you saw the audience go, yeah, and they start to, like, feel sorry for you. And then from that moment on, because you experienced that moment, that sort of failure, I suppose you then didn't sing on stage in front of people until the X Factor.

Jesse Nelson (19:39)

Yeah, I was just wild, honestly. I don't know what went through my brain. And you know what? I wasn't even meant to do that audition. The day that my alarm went off, I thought I'd missed it. And I remember my mum come running in the room. She's like, hey, we gotta get. You gotta miss the audition. I was like, oh, I don't care. Honestly. I was like, it doesn't matter.

Jamie Laing (19:58)

Really?

Jesse Nelson (19:58)

Yeah. And she was like, absolutely not. She was like, you're doing it. She was like. She was like, I will stand in the Queue for you because you were.

Jamie Laing (20:04)

Nervous, because you were scared. You didn't think you were going to.

Jesse Nelson (20:06)

It just was like, probably my fears probably projected at that point. And so I was just like, I don't really care to do this, but it was my mom that was like, no, listen, you're going to do it. If I have to stand in the queue and you can sit in the car and do your makeup, like my mum, honestly, she is just, like, the best.

Jamie Laing (20:27)

Explain why. Talk to me.

Jesse Nelson (20:28)

Because she just. Oh, no, I'm gonna get emotional now.

Jamie Laing (20:31)

It's all right. I'll get it. Don't worry. I'm there already, so it's okay.

Jesse Nelson (20:33)

She's just like Wonder Woman to me. She's just the best.

Jamie Laing (20:40)

I'll give you this.

Jesse Nelson (20:41)

Thank you. And it's only like. I mean, I've always known that about my mum, but it's. It's. You only, like, really, like, deep it when you become a mum and you realize all the. That she, like, sacrificed for her children. But, yeah, she, like, I wouldn't be here now if it wasn't for my mum. Like, she was the one who was like, you're good, you're doing it. And not in a way of, like, being a pushy mum. That's one thing I love about my mum. My mum is like, you know, you can get pushy parents that, like, you get up on that stage. My mom is like, listen, if you want to be, I don't know, whatever, whatever, as long as my children are happy, I'm happy. But she knew that that made me happy, but she knew that I was just scared, so she wasn't pushing me. She just was, you know, gentle nudge.

Jamie Laing (21:31)

So she gets you out, she gets.

Jesse Nelson (21:32)

You to the audition, she gets you to the audition. And I don't know if I'm allowed to talk about this, but there are some.

Jamie Laing (21:37)

You can talk about it.

Jesse Nelson (21:38)

Well, no, you can talk about it. There's a few things I'm not allowed to talk about. You know, there's. But, you know, before you get on stage in front of the judges, there's an entertainment process of auditions you have to go through before you even get to that stage. So obviously I'd been through about five auditions before I even got to that point. I remember going in to this, like, room and it was full of, like, I don't know, executive directors of ITV and except. And whatever. And there's about five of them. They were sitting on this long table. And I walked in, there was one little camera There. And they said. And this was my last tradition before you get to the. If you are going to get to.

Jamie Laing (22:15)

The judges, I feel nervous for you.

Jesse Nelson (22:16)

And they said. They said, oh, so on here it says you're a dancer. And I thought, fuck my life. I know what's gonna happen right now. This is not happening. It's not happening. I just knew it was gonna happen. They said, well, do you want to show us something? I said, sorry. They said, do you just want to give us a little routine?

Jamie Laing (22:34)

Not in the silence.

Jesse Nelson (22:35)

No, no, no, wait. So I said, oh, I don't have any music. That was like, it's all right, we'll clap. No, guys, guys, guys. It was this. Some people weren't even in time. So it's like. And I literally.

Jamie Laing (22:51)

No, Jamie, what did you pull out?

Jesse Nelson (22:53)

I don't even know. I actually don't even know what I did. I don't even want to know what I did, but I don't, honestly. And also, my adrenaline was, like, literally pumping out of my chest. So by the time I'd finished whatever the I'd just done, I was so out of breath. And then they said, okay, so when you're ready to sing.

Jamie Laing (23:12)

Oh, my God, it's chaos.

Jesse Nelson (23:14)

So I literally. I'm singing this song, and I'm like. While I was singing this song, and I literally want to die. And I just remember thinking, well, that's it. I've it. I've completely it. And I said, oh, thanks, Jesse. We'll let you know that all. And I walked out.

Jamie Laing (23:31)

20.

Jesse Nelson (23:32)

Yeah, I walked out. And I was 19 at that point. I walked out. My mum blessed my mum. She's like. And I just burst into tears. And I said, mom, I don't ever want to do that again. Just. Let's just go home. I died. She's like, why, darling? What's happened? And I told her I'm sure it weren't that bad. And I was like, no, Mum, you don't understand what just happened and how many they clapped. No, no, no. It was.

Jamie Laing (23:54)

That is horrendous.

Jesse Nelson (23:56)

No, but imagine right now.

Jamie Laing (23:58)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jesse Nelson (23:58)

All of us being like, come on, Jamie.

Jamie Laing (24:01)

I would probably do it. But, like. But honestly, no, I can't even imagine when your nerves are through the roof when you're you.

Jesse Nelson (24:08)

And also, I'm just, like, not that kind of dancer. I'm not a freestyler.

Jamie Laing (24:12)

And you also have your routine. You know what you're there to do. And suddenly it's like this. You have this blueprint in your Mind, I'm gonna turn up, I'm gonna sing this, I'm gonna do that, I'm gonna knock out the park. But then suddenly they throw you a curveball. You're like, well, sorry, sorry. We're going off peace here. Like, you guys dance like, what's going on here? Yeah.

Jesse Nelson (24:29)

So it's just horrendous. So from that day, I was like, don't even want to do that again. Humiliating. Also. I just was like, it was so bad. I was like, they're not gonna ask me to come back. So I, I'd like, I do this a lot. When I fear kicks in for me, I will get to the worst place before you could testify. Because I'm like, then it won't hurt as much. So I'll just mentally put myself there, like, as quickly as possible. Stupid, really, Because I just hurt myself twice. Because it, you still don't. Even when someone then confirms it to you, it still doesn't hurt. You know, I realize less.

Jamie Laing (25:10)

I, I, I, I, I saw this thing and I actually put it on my Instagram story this morning, which is really hard. We do this as humans, right? Which is where I said, just imagine if today, if this week goes okay, because what do we do in our brains? We never think that. We never think. We don't think tomorrow is going to be sunny. We think it's probably going to rain, or we don't think, oh, we're going to, we're going to go and do that. And we. And sometimes I think it's really important to try and shift that mindset. But it's obviously a protective mechanism that we do. Because if you go to the worst right away, you think in your head, when I get delivered that news, I'm not going to get, it's not going to hurt as much.

Jesse Nelson (25:44)

But I'm like, in every. Inevitably, I think I've definitely got better for sure. But, like, I'm like, in relationships, just, just everything. I'm like, what?

Jamie Laing (25:52)

You just think straight away, it's not gonna work.

Jesse Nelson (25:54)

Well, if I feel like I can feel someone's gonna hurt me, I'll get in there before you. It's really bad.

Jamie Laing (26:01)

Yeah, I think a lot of people do that, though.

Jesse Nelson (26:04)

I think as well, I have this big fear of rejection.

Jamie Laing (26:08)

So I'll like, it's a good industry we're in.

Jesse Nelson (26:09)

I'll reject you before you can reject me. It's so bad.

Jamie Laing (26:13)

So just you get on stage, you do your song. Gary Barlow says you don't think you're good and all this kind of whatever he says to you, oh, maybe it's not gonna work. You come off and you say in the documentary, which made you say. There were so many great comments for everyone else. But what happens is, is that you just focus on his comments.

Jesse Nelson (26:31)

Yeah. And that should have been the sign that this was not the industry for me, honestly, because, you know, it's there in black and white. Like Louis to Lisa. They're all saying lovely things to me and I can see. I know me and I'm. When I watch me back on stage, I can see that my brain's going, oh, my God. Just thinking about that one comment that Gary's just said to me, which then just followed through throughout my whole life. Just.

Jamie Laing (26:57)

I don't know why. Because you. You're like, we're gonna again. I don't want to too jump ahead because I don't want to get into it, but I just, you know, I. I reckon all your agents, your management, your team, your family sometimes probably want to shake you.

Jesse Nelson (27:10)

Oh, yeah, for sure.

Jamie Laing (27:11)

Like even me, who briefly knows you want to shake you and say, sitting across me now is a beautiful, talented, kind, funny, charismatic, amazing person, Mum, whatever it is. And everyone else can see that, but for some reason you don't see that within yourself.

Jesse Nelson (27:30)

Well, one thing I will say is actually since becoming a mum, I feel like I've My confidence so weird. I mean, I can't speak for all mums, but I feel that from when I've seen online, a lot of mums, when they get pregnant, have children, then lose their confidence and feel like they've lost themselves. Whether I feel like since I've had children, I'm like the most confident I've ever been. It's like the most I've ever loved myself.

Jamie Laing (27:58)

Well done.

Jesse Nelson (27:59)

It's just the most powerful I've ever felt. So, yeah, I think.

Jamie Laing (28:05)

Do you know what's interesting? I think sometimes that happens because I think a lot of the time, speaking from personal point of view, maybe we have a lot of time to think about ourselves.

Jesse Nelson (28:14)

One, I was just about to say this.

Jamie Laing (28:16)

One million percent we think about ourselves.

Jesse Nelson (28:17)

That's what my mum said. She said, you don't have time, you don't. You're not worrying about yourself anymore because you don't have.

Jamie Laing (28:22)

You're worrying about something more, bigger, better. And so then you'll just actually like, well, hang on a second. What was I even for sure, thinking about?

Jesse Nelson (28:29)

And also I'm very aware of, like, the language that I'm speaking around My children now and how the things that I would normally do and say, I'm like so like aware of trying not to do that around them because my mum won't care. I think I've said this in my documentary, you know, there's a lot of stuff that I also picked up from my mum as a child. You know, like when it comes down to, I remember as a child I always saw my mum constantly weighing herself and I picked that up as a child and I think that followed through and I always saw my mum drinking Slim Fast. And then as I got older I started doing that. And it's what you, I believe you learn 100, you learn that.

Jamie Laing (29:02)

And it was a different generation because our parents sort of generation was all about being as skinny as possible and weighing yourself and all.

Jesse Nelson (29:11)

It scares me because I feel like we're going back to that now.

Jamie Laing (29:13)

But yeah, what do you want to teach your girls then?

Jesse Nelson (29:15)

Oh, gosh, I feel like, I feel like I don't even need to teach them anything because what they showed me already, I'm like, my life. Like, this is how you are at this age. Like, honestly, I remember, I remember story going on the ambulance and she was on a little stretcher and she was just smiling at me the whole way. And I just remember thinking like, like, how can I ever now be sad? Like, look at her, she's going through all of this and she's still smiling.

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Jesse Nelson (31:23)

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Jamie Laing (31:57)

Can we quickly talk about little mixes?

Jesse Nelson (31:59)

Yes, we can. Yeah.

Jamie Laing (32:00)

Because. Holy. I think everyone, man, when I want to be in a good mood, that gets whacked up.

Jesse Nelson (32:10)

Oh, I love that.

Jamie Laing (32:14)

Unbelievable. Do you. Even though, look, I know it was a tough time at moments, do you look back at that time and just go, that was.

Jesse Nelson (32:22)

Oh, God, yeah. Like, listen, I had my really shit times in little Mix, but I also had some of the best times of my life. And what was amazing was genuinely, I was doing it with my three best friends.

Jamie Laing (32:35)

Wow.

Jesse Nelson (32:36)

You know, and. And it's. You can't ever know if it's going to work or not, right, when you get put into a band.

Jamie Laing (32:44)

Yeah.

Jesse Nelson (32:44)

Majority of the time. But genuinely, we were, you guys best mates. We were best mates and that is why we lasted so long. Because we just, like, we all want. We were at the same vision. We, we all wanted the same thing and we just, we honestly, we had just had so much fun.

Jamie Laing (33:07)

Was being in a band amazing.

Jesse Nelson (33:08)

The best. And it's only until you come out of it and you do it solo that then you realize, like, actually being in a band is like, way more powerful, I think, than being a solo artist. I can't explain it to you. I feel like. And someone said this to us when we were on X Factor. There's a real difference to when one person walks in, one woman walks into a room than when four girls walk into a room. There's like a real power and I've felt that all the time. Every single time. Whether it be walking down the street or whether we'd be on stage. Like, we were like such a force to be reckoned with.

Jamie Laing (33:45)

Do you remember that moment when you might actually win X Factor when you.

Jesse Nelson (33:48)

Were just like, this sounds so bad.

Jamie Laing (33:52)

Can't wait.

Jesse Nelson (33:53)

Bless them. They must have give it a rest. Every night before we have the results night.

Jamie Laing (34:00)

Yeah.

Jesse Nelson (34:01)

I used to get in a circle with them. We'd all hold hands and I'd be like, My girls prepare ourselves to go home. We're probably gonna go home tonight.

Jamie Laing (34:09)

What, you're gonna say the opposite?

Jesse Nelson (34:10)

No, no, no, it's not me. I prepare myself for the worst all the time.

Jamie Laing (34:14)

But you also manifest, which is why I know, honestly.

Jesse Nelson (34:17)

Yeah, so, yeah, I used to, like, gear them up to like, be like, probably gonna go home tonight also, because when we were on X Factor, girl bands, like, never made it past the first round.

Jamie Laing (34:29)

No, nothing.

Jesse Nelson (34:29)

They were always the first to be kicked off.

Jamie Laing (34:31)

Yeah.

Jesse Nelson (34:32)

Like mad, actually. I remember my mum was seeing this guy at the time and he wanted to put a bet on us to win it. And we were like, I don't know how it works, I'm a bit when it comes to betting, but we were like, the.

Bilt Advertiser (34:44)

The least.

Jamie Laing (34:44)

The least odds. The least odds.

Jesse Nelson (34:46)

Yeah.

Jamie Laing (34:46)

The lowest odds.

Jesse Nelson (34:47)

I think he put something like. I don't even know. He puts, like, really little on at the time. But my mom's like, you can't do that. No, don't do that. You're gonna. You're gonna waste.

Jamie Laing (34:56)

You're gonna waste your money on my daughter. She ain't winning. She's not winning. You kidding me? And you were like, brilliant.

Jesse Nelson (35:04)

Thanks, Mom. Making my mom sound so bad.

Jamie Laing (35:06)

No, you're kidding me.

Jesse Nelson (35:07)

She was like, don't waste your money anyway. And then obviously, when we went on to winning, what a very chunky size of money. But yeah, I used to prepare every night, us to Lisa, like, we're gonna go home. And then. And then I think if you actually watch all of our results, like, you can genuinely see on our faces every time we go through that, we're gobsmacked that we've gone through because it was. It was just like. Girl bands were always, like, just writ off in the first few weeks. So every time we'd go through, we were like, what is going on? Like, obviously we knew we were good and we knew that we were like, I don't know. I. I believe, like, obviously we were all talented and we were a great girl band. But I believe the real heart and soul behind Little Mix was that one, we were like best mates. And two, I feel like we were just not your, like, generic girl band at that time.

Jamie Laing (35:57)

I know you, but. But also you were kind of in a. In a sort of. You were kind of all relatable, but also not.

Jesse Nelson (36:03)

Yes. Like, so it kind of worked like a Pussycat Dolls. It's amazing. And I'm such a fan of Pussycat Dolls. You know, we didn't look like Pussycat Dolls. We looked like a bit of a car crash at the time. No, honestly, some of the outfits and the makeup that we had, I know that the other three would all say the same.

Jamie Laing (36:19)

Like, I'm gonna beg to disagree.

Jesse Nelson (36:21)

I mean, this is when I'm talking, when we were on X Factor, but. And I think that we were just like, yeah, relatable. And I think that, like, there were little girls at home looking at us, being like, oh, I look like her, Or I can relate to her. And I think that is a big reason of why Little Mix were so massive, because many of our fans could see themselves in us. And it's so mad because now we've gone on and, like, as we've got older, our fans, I feel like, are a representation of us as people.

Jamie Laing (36:50)

Yeah, I. I couldn't agree more. What was the moment when. Was there a moment when you suddenly were like, guys, we've made it. There must have been a moment where.

Jesse Nelson (36:59)

You were like, oh, gosh, there's been a few.

Jamie Laing (37:02)

Okay, well, come on.

Jesse Nelson (37:03)

My first ever one, which was so small at the time, was when we were on X Factor.

Jamie Laing (37:08)

Yeah.

Jesse Nelson (37:10)

And it's wild. They used to have. So first of all, we lived in this house. That's where they just threw everyone, all the contestants in this big mansion. And then you were, like. It was in the middle of nowhere, and you were, like, surrounded by this big fence. It was barbed wire, and there was all paps outside, and there was security guards, like, surrounding the house, and you weren't allowed to leave unless you needed to go Sainsbury's.

Jamie Laing (37:34)

Everyone's snogging everyone, or. No, there's none of that.

Jesse Nelson (37:39)

Yeah, it was crazy, but. And I remember, like, you'd have fans that would, like, like, big expanse that would come to the house, and they would, like, be outside, and they'd just wait for you to come outside and sign their books and stuff. And no one gave a about us. Like, no one. Like, we'd come out, we'd be like, guys. And everyone would be like, you know.

Jamie Laing (38:01)

Yeah, yeah, no, get out of there.

Jesse Nelson (38:03)

Literally, we'd just be like, okay, never mind.

Jamie Laing (38:04)

I want to see Matt Cardle.

Jesse Nelson (38:07)

And then I remember someone was like, oh, can I get your autograph? And that was the moment for me, first ever moment right in my autograph that I'd been doing at school for years and being like, fuck, this is like, this is real. And that was the first moment when I was like, oh, this is real now. But then the proper pop star moment for me, which I've not really ever felt a lot in being in Little Mix was when we performed Shout out to my ex at the Brit Awards. And I'll never forget we were in the break, we were like coming performing after the break and we were like in the wings because we were like being brought in on these silver Thrones.

Jamie Laing (38:53)

Damn straight.

Jesse Nelson (38:55)

And I just remember whoever was the presenter at the time being like, okay, guys, everyone needs to get back to their seats. Little Mix are performing in a couple of minutes and I just remember seeing the whole arena like just like swoon, rush back to their tables to like watch us. And that was like a real moment of like, oh, wow. Like, yeah. You know what I mean? And I just remember coming through on these thrones and seeing Simon Cowell just looking up past and I was like. And he was thinking, yeah, I'm a pop star. Yeah. That was like a real moment.

Jamie Laing (39:34)

Wow.

Jesse Nelson (39:35)

I mean, it was so. I feel really cringey.

Jamie Laing (39:37)

No, you're kidding me. Don't, dude. Never feel cringey. I think, because you know what it's like. But also I think what happens is that, you know, you're that little girl who is like going to dance classes, going to Sylvia, whatever it is, and then suddenly you're this pop star. And it's weird how life does this though, that everything you almost like wish for happens, but then you don't give yourself time to really enjoy it.

Jesse Nelson (39:59)

No.

Jamie Laing (40:00)

And that is, and that's what's upsetting.

Jesse Nelson (40:01)

100 come out of it though, that you then take it in.

Jamie Laing (40:05)

If the 8 year old you who got the little voice crack can suddenly see the future you, she would be like, she would explode, like she would know what mad.

Jesse Nelson (40:13)

But I only ever really, really took it in when I left that moment.

Jamie Laing (40:17)

Just when you decided to leave. That must mean hard, right? Because it's all the things you've wanted to do, lived up to, and then suddenly. And these are your best friends.

Jesse Nelson (40:25)

Yeah, it was really tough.

Jamie Laing (40:27)

What I find amazing, right, is I suppose in life we're presented with difficult decisions and you can take one road, do whatever it is, and one road sometimes seems easier to do and you can stay on it, but it might not be the most healthy or the best or whatever for you. It's very hard to take that other road that can be in business, a relationship, a friendship, whatever it is. And I admire you because you took the harder road, which is to say, you know what, this. Yeah, it's time for me not to do it.

Jesse Nelson (40:57)

Yeah. I mean that and that had presented itself quite a few years before I'd even made that decision. I was. There was a time when I was like, I want to leave. And I remember sitting down with my family and it was actually because of my brother that I then stayed.

Jamie Laing (41:13)

Really?

Jesse Nelson (41:13)

Yeah. Because I just. From the minute I got off X Factor, I felt like I didn't want to be in it. I did and I didn't. Like, I did because I just, you know, it was my dream. But the way it was making me feel was just like I couldn't. I could not handle it. I couldn't deal with it. And obviously I had to show up every day to, like, a music video or an interview. And. And I just was being this. I just felt like I was faking it the whole time because internally I was so sad. And don't get me wrong, I wasn't sad every day. There's definitely days, like, when I had amazing times, but. But it never really fully left me. It never really went away. And the first time I wanted to leave, I remember I went home and. And we were kind of like, me and my family, like, weighing up all the, like. And we kind of weren't even at that point, like, oh, biggest. Yeah, we were. I think it only been like two years, but we were still big.

Jamie Laing (42:14)

Yeah, it was.

Jesse Nelson (42:15)

Everyone still knew who Little Mix were.

Jamie Laing (42:17)

Yeah.

Jesse Nelson (42:17)

So it was like, well, if you leave now, what are you gonna do? Because I just wanted to come outfit completely. Like, I didn't want to have anything to do with the industry. I just wanted one was like, majesty, you know what? Like my brother, what are you gonna do? Because you're gonna go back to being a bar maker. You can't do that. And I was like, well, I don't know. Like, I don't. I don't know, but I just know that I can't do this anymore.

Jamie Laing (42:37)

And you're stuck in a limbo.

Jesse Nelson (42:38)

And my mum was like, it doesn't matter. She just needs to be happy. Just. Just it off, like, just. That's what my mom's like. She's just like, my mum just can't bear seeing her children in pain, and she just wants them to be happy. So she was like, you know, just leave and we'll figure it out. And my brother was like, you are so much stronger than what you give yourself credit for. And I think you can stick this out for another few years. I'm trying to be completely honest with what he said. He was like, just make as much money as you can. He said, you know, you've got a chance to really change, like, your family's life. If you. Somewhere, which I know you do deep down, you can do this for another couple years, do it and then leave, he said, because you'll never get this opportunity again.

Jamie Laing (43:26)

Best advice.

Jesse Nelson (43:27)

And it was as much shit as I went through, and it was hard. It was. Because I have now been able to change my family's life. And also I'm now in a situation, thankfully, that, like, now I've been presented with this situation with my girls. I can now, you know, go above and beyond in terms of, you know, just the things that they're going to need in terms of physio and extra. Just all the extra things that I can now do for them because of the situation that I was in.

Jamie Laing (43:59)

Jesse, can I just say, I said it to you before, I just. Yeah. There's no words that I could. That I could say for how, you.

Jesse Nelson (44:06)

Know, that's very sweet.

Jamie Laing (44:08)

Incredible you are, how strong you are, how resilient you are and how special you are. And this documentary which is coming out, it's gonna be on Prime Video.

Jesse Nelson (44:15)

Yes, Globally.

Jamie Laing (44:17)

Globally. It launches on 13th of February. 13th of February, yep. Okay. That is like a little Valentine's Day gift for anyone. I promise this. If you're not watching this, you've lost your mind. Because I've had a brief little glimpse into what it's like, and it's a fucking hell. It's unbelievable. Thank you so much and thank you for allowing these cameras into your life. Thank you for being so open and honest and thank you for saving so many people out there, their families, and so much heartache. So, I mean, I just. Yeah, honestly, you're incredible. Honestly, you are. Just. Listen, we. And it's called Life After Little Mix.

Jesse Nelson (44:56)

Yes, it is.

Jamie Laing (44:57)

Let's go. We like to end our conversation with eight quick fire questions. Are you ready?

Jesse Nelson (45:02)

Yes, I'm ready.

Jamie Laing (45:03)

What's a saying or phrase that makes you smile or cheers you up?

Jesse Nelson (45:05)

Ooh, I had one. I saw one the other day, and it felt very relevant to my life. And I don't know if I'm going to word this correctly, but I'll give it a go. It's not about the events that happen in your life that define you. It's about what you do with the events that have happened to you to then propel you.

Jamie Laing (45:21)

Might be the best answer we've ever had. Hands down, best compliment anyone's ever given you.

Jesse Nelson (45:29)

When I was at Great Wall street the other day, one of the Doctors came in and she said to me, I just want to say that when I become a mum, I hope that I'm a half the mum that you are. And that was like the best compliment that anyone's ever given me.

Jamie Laing (45:48)

What scares you most about yourself?

Jesse Nelson (45:50)

Oh my God. Just how like much my brain can spiral, like especially at night. Oh, God.

Jamie Laing (45:59)

You're like, I'm exhausted.

BetterHelp Advertiser (46:00)

Bing.

Jesse Nelson (46:01)

No, no, literally.

Jamie Laing (46:03)

I know. Who was your first celebrity crush?

Jesse Nelson (46:06)

Oh. Oh my God. I've had so many. I think Justin Timberlake.

Jamie Laing (46:14)

Nice.

Jesse Nelson (46:15)

Yeah. And then it was Little Wayne.

Jamie Laing (46:17)

Nice. Nice. Yeah. Different.

Jesse Nelson (46:21)

Ye.

Jamie Laing (46:27)

That's unbelievable. What's something you can't let go of?

Jesse Nelson (46:32)

Something I won't let go of is getting this heel prick changed in the country.

Jamie Laing (46:39)

What's your guilty pleasure?

Jesse Nelson (46:42)

Please don't be offended by this. It's made in Chelsea 100%.

Jamie Laing (46:46)

It's also mine. Re watching old clips of me. Sophie, this was a good bit. Let's watch it again.

Jesse Nelson (46:53)

So good. It's so good.

Jamie Laing (46:54)

Back in the day. Unbelievable people. What turns you off?

Jesse Nelson (46:57)

Rude people.

Jamie Laing (46:58)

Yeah. 100% what turns you on?

Jesse Nelson (47:02)

Someone that can enter a room and leave it without giving a what they anyone thinks about them.

Jamie Laing (47:12)

I will not be turning you on anytime soon. What do you like most about yourself?

Jesse Nelson (47:21)

I think I've had a lot of happen and I'd like to think that I've tried to turn them all into a positive.

Jamie Laing (47:29)

You're resilient. 100 last one bonus. Favorite little mix song.

Ollie Dog Food Advertiser (47:35)

Oh.

Jesse Nelson (47:39)

I've got different reasons for them all. I'm sorry I'm not being quick fire right now.

Jamie Laing (47:42)

You don't have to be. Don't worry.

Jesse Nelson (47:43)

I'm gonna say. Oh God. God. Shout out to my ex.

Jamie Laing (47:50)

It's big question just for me. Will there ever be a reunion tour? Oh my God.

Jesse Nelson (47:57)

I. Who knows? All right.

Jamie Laing (48:01)

Jesse Nelson, thank you so much. You've been amazing.

Jesse Nelson (48:06)

Thank you.

Jamie Laing (48:06)

You're incredible.

Jesse Nelson (48:08)

Thank you so much. Lifelock.

Jamie Laing (48:20)

How can I help?

Jesse Nelson (48:21)

The IRS said I filed my return, but I haven't.

Sleep Number Advertiser / LifeLock Advertiser (48:24)

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Sleep Number Advertiser (48:27)

What do I do?

Jesse Nelson (48:28)

My refund though.

Jamie Laing (48:29)

I'm freaking out. Don't worry, I can fix this.

Sleep Number Advertiser / LifeLock Advertiser (48:31)

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Jesse Nelson (48:37)

I'm so relieved.

Bilt Advertiser (48:38)

No problem.

Jamie Laing (48:38)

I'll be with you every step of the way.

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Paloma (Podcast Host) (49:20)

Paloma, and I'm delighted to announce that my podcast Mad, Sad and Bad is back again for season three. And I know I might be biased, but it's going to be my greatest season yet. I've got an extra special lineup of guests including the incredibly fabulous actor Richard E. Grant, mega gorgeous pop sensation Leigh Ann, and the brilliantly funny and lovable Koji Radical, as well as many, many more surprises. So listen now wherever you get your.

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