LUKE EVANS: Realising Who You Are | GREAT MOMENTS - Great Company with Jamie Laing

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[00:00]
A
Hi.
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B
Who here loves when their nails are perfectly done?
[00:04]
A
Me.
[00:05]
B
I'm Sarah Gibson Tuttle and I started Olive in June because let's be real, we all deserve to have gorgeous nails. But who wants to spend a fortune or half their day at the salon? And that's why I created the Mani system. So you can have that salon perfect manicure right at home. And guess what? The best part, each mani only costs two dollars. Yup, you heard me. Two dollars. No more 30, 40, $50 salon trips that eat up your day. Now you can paint your whenever you want, wherever you want. And trust me, you're going to be obsessed with your nails and everyone is going to ask you where did you get your nails done? And here's a little something extra. Head over to oliveandjune.com and get 20% off your first mani system with code perfectmani20@oliveandjune.com perfectmanny20 that's code perfectmanny20 for 20% off at oliveandjeune.com perfectmanny20. You're all set for a nail glow up. Let's get those nails looking fabulous, shall we?
[01:00]
A
Not every sale happens at the register. Before AT&T business Wireless checking out customers on our mobile POS systems took too long. Basically a staring contest where everyone loses. It's crazy what people will say during an awkward silence. Now transactions are done before the silence takes hold. That means I can focus on the task at hand and make an extra sale or two. Sometimes I do miss the bonding time.
[01:24]
C
Sometimes AT&T business Wireless connecting changes everything.
[01:30]
D
Yeah, maxing is so maxing right now bro. Get ready for spicy chicken maxing because Carl's Jr. Is saving you big with a 5.99 maxed out double stack double stack double stack spicy chicken sandwich. Seriously, just 5.99 double stack spicy chicken. This is unreal value in the bromosphere. The new spicy chicken Max wallet friendly Max Tasty only at Carl's Jr available for limited time at participating restaurants. Tax unincluded, not valid for use within a combo or combination with any of their offered discount.
[02:00]
C
Hello guys, it's Jamie and Sophie from
[02:02]
A
the newly parents podcast here.
[02:03]
E
Coming up on this week's episode, I remember almost breaking my ass. I was rollerblading the road. Ripped my ass cheeks off.
[02:14]
C
Why did it grip so much to the ground? And how big was your bum at nine?
[02:18]
E
It was honestly like one pilot. One cheek got super glued to the ground and the other one was on ice.
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A
Listen or watch wherever you get your podcasts, foreign.
[02:33]
E
I'm Jamie Laing, and this is Great Moments. Hey, everyone. I hope you're well and welcome back to Great Moments. Now, if you're new here, this is the place where I'm going to bring you a standout moment from one of my favorite great comedy conversations. These are the moments that have stayed with me long after the recording, and I hope you can take something away from them now. If today's conversation leaves you wanting more, you can find the link to the full episode in the show notes. So sit back, settle in, and here it is. I want to talk about the fact that you. You grew up in Wales,
[03:13]
A
you.
[03:13]
E
And you've written about this in your book. You were confused with your sexuality, and you also grew up as a Jehovah's Witness.
[03:21]
C
No.
[03:23]
E
That combination.
[03:24]
C
Crazy is wild. Yes. Yeah. It's not. Not the best combination in the world. There's law there that would. There's one that says people that will die, Armageddon are murderers, thieves, men who lie with men. You know, things like that. They're in the same. The same paragraph in the Bible. So as I'm a young kid, you know, realizing firstly, I'm different, not understanding what it is. Can't ask anybody, because obviously I couldn't. No one around me wasn't a Jehovah's Witness. Then realizing who I was, coming to terms with that, but not being able to tell anyone because every now and again we'd be in Kingdom hall and that scripture would be read out loud. And I just felt like, you know, there was a big arrow on my head. And so. And. And anybody that doesn't stick to the religion who is baptized, which I was very young, if you don't stick to the rules, you're disfellowshipped and you're cut off. And basically, literally cut off, you lose everyone. They completely ignore you, like you didn't exist. They. Their reason for that is that it keeps the congregation clean. But I think partly it is also to do with the fact that that person who's been thrown out loses everything they've ever known. Their support network, their family, their parents, their brothers and sisters, their friends. That's everything. It's removed from them overnight, and it can damage. I mean, the stories are horrendous. I am very fortunate when I read the stories of some ex Witnesses who've been disfellowshipped and have lost everyone. You know, from marriages breaking up to problems with drugs, employment, depression, confidence, loneliness, and inevitably, suicide. There's too many of these stories. So I'm very lucky in a way that I managed to get out of it the way I did and start a new life. But I was always very sort of like, I remember at 12 years old going, I have to make a plan because I know this isn't going to change. I knew at 16 I was going to leave home and I did, I made a plan. And until then I was just going to throw myself into the religion and be the best fucking Jehovah's Witness they'd ever had. So that when I left, they'd be like, oh, God, he was the best one we've ever had. So I did. I threw myself into the religion. I did everything they wanted me to do. And then I. And then I slowly just distanced myself and I got to 16 and then I left. Left home and started another life. And so sadly, the only people I have in my life from before 16 are the non Jehovah's Witness people, which we didn't know many. All my oldest friends are from 16 onwards, which is very sad.
[06:23]
E
Your parents, man, they just seem to be amazing.
[06:27]
C
They are. They really are amazing. Yeah.
[06:31]
E
And to the point where they were devoted and they didn't. When you decide to leave, they didn't deny you.
[06:38]
C
No, I'm not. It was very difficult. It wasn't like, nope, we're just going to be in your life. It was not easy. It was just not easy. It wasn't something that we could. It was even cloak and dagger for a while, you know, when we would meet, because they were just like, I don't know, the CIA or something, just keeping an eye on us all the time. Are you serious? Even when I moved to London, yeah. I was disfellowshipped six years after I left the religion. I thought I'd move to London to get away from it all and not. Not bring any reproach. Nobody knew that I'd been a Jehovah's Witness. But yes, it was like six years after then they disfellowshiped me and I was like, seriously, up until that time, of course my parents could keep in touch because there was no disfellowshipping. But after that it became very, very difficult. So we've been through and I really admire them. I mean, I. I respect their religion, I respect their beliefs. It's wonderful that they found something when they were teenagers that's brought them a lot of happiness. But it wasn't my choice. I didn't get a choice. And of course, who I am, you know, deep down is not something that their religion was. That was. I was born into accepts. So I didn't really have a choice whether I wanted to be a Witness or not. And because of who I am, I lost everyone except my mum and dad. They have managed to find a way where they love their God, they love their religion, they respect what they do, but they also have a child who they love and cherish, as do I, them. Why on earth would it feel right to disown him? I've never questioned their beliefs. I never want to. I'm very happy for them. It just took some. Some trust, understanding, patience and just acceptance of each other. And they're great. I think they're such a. They're such a good example of what a Jehovah's Witness could be like if they just let them.
[08:43]
E
There's an amazing thing which I wrote, which I want to read. I read this and it made me tear up. Because you. You've supported your parents in lots of ways. You bought the house next to them.
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C
You.
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E
They rented out, so they got money and all these different things. And your dad gave a speech and he said this. When I got sick, who put petrol in the car? Who paid for the electricity? Who paid for the food in the fridge? Was it. You know, it was our son. Don't come to our house and tell us not to speak to our son because if it wasn't for him, we wouldn't have this house.
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Yeah.
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That is unbelievable.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's. It's very hard to even talk about it because it's. It's a very emotional thing that, you know, he said those words and they came from the heart and they're true. You know, I've always supported them and made sure they're safe, usually before myself. And they're good. They're my priority in life to make sure they're. They're happy and safe and, you know, need for nothing, want for nothing. So it was. Yeah, it was a nice thing that he said that. Obviously not a pleasant thing he'd had to say to the people that he's, you know, supposed to spend forever on paradise on earth with. But, you know, he put it straight, he set it straight and. And he's right. Yeah, damn it, like, of course he's right.
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E
Right.
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C
How dare you tell. Nobody has the right to tell somebody else not to talk to the. Their flesh and blood.
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I know.
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C
That's your choice whether you do that. Nobody. That's insane.
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E
It's the personification of love, which is unbelievable. I always Got told something which is where if your parents show. If your parents show you love, you know how to be loved yourself. And what is amazing as well is that when you were bullied at school, you kind of always said, well, there's something wrong with the bullies because you were loved so much. You knew you were okay. You felt almost enough maybe that you could sort of get through it.
[11:04]
C
I somehow knew that it was. I was. I used to say, and I don't know how, because I didn't have anyone to talk to about the bully. The words that they used to call me, right. It was horrible.
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A
What were they.
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What were they calling me?
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C
I think a bender. Shirtlifter. Jovi bender. Which is like the amalgam of the two things which could never be together. You know, it's like I used to say to myself at that young age, this is only temporary. 1. At some point you are going to be able to leave school and something else will change. And I. I mean, I did have moments as a child wondering why they chose me instead of the other boy in the school, in the classroom, why always me? I questioned a lot about myself, but there was a point when I just thought, well, whatever it is, I don't care, because as soon as I leave school, I'm never going to see these people again. I'm going to leave. You know, I couldn't run out of those school gates quicker.
[11:58]
E
But that is unique because as kids, right, we're learning, right. I truly think that the reason why, when we're kids, everything happens so much slower is because we're experiencing a first kiss or like going on a first holiday or experiencing snow for the. You're experiencing these for the first time. And now when we go through joy or suffering or whatever it is, we kind of know it's going to pass. That's why I love the quote, this too shall pass. Because everything does pass when you're younger. In that moment, you don't know it's going to finish. No, you have no idea.
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C
First time.
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First time experiencing it. So how did you have that confidence that you were like, this is only temporary?
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Was your.
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E
Is that from your religion that you realized that suffering was only temporary or you just. That's blind confidence.
[12:44]
C
Yeah. Yeah, blind confidence. And I think. I mean, what. What should have been the case is that I would have felt that I could have just talked to my mum and dad. I didn't have brothers and sisters. I should have felt that I could just talk to them. But the religion very clearly dictated that what I had a problem with. I couldn't talk to them about or anybody. So I had to rely only on my own voice, my own words, my own inner therapist, you know, and somehow it. I came up with that, that it's only temporary. I honestly still. I'm amazed that I could compartmentalize the situation that I was in under, you know, dealing with at that time and know that there was a. There was a bigger world outside. I also knew about London. I mean, I knew that, you know, we used to have a family that lived in Hemel Hempstead and we. Another Jehovah's Witness family. And we'd go and visit them and we'd get on the. The train at Saint Albans and then we'd turn the underground. Then you'd go in the tunnels and then you'd come up the staircase at Piccadilly Circus. And I'd be like, what is this place? I remember being like nine and going, why is this place? Look. And look at all the different light signs of people and the noise and the lights and all walks of life, literally walking. Like, you see more people in 10 minutes than I'd seen a year in Aberbargoid, you know, and not a sheep inside.
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And.
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C
And I remember going, everybody else is talking about getting to Madame Tussauds. And I'm going, look at that person and look at this person. I'm thinking, I'm gonna live here one day. And then you'd go back to Aberbarguide. And then a few years would go by and we'd go down again. And then we started to go to see musicals. Me and my mum, we'd come on the bus. We'd get on a bus at like 5:30 from a Baba guide. And you'd arrive in London at like 11:30 for the matinee performance. And me and my mom, we just like, walked the streets of London. And then I used to come. It's in the book. There's one story. I used to then come with one of the good women from the village. I was 14 and basically, of course, I love the musicals. But my excitement was I had this hour from when you get off the bus to you had to be at the theater to watch the show. And I had a plan. I was gonna find Soho and I was just gonna sit and watch all the life of what was then the gay center of London. And that's what I did. So I knew during all this time that there was a bigger world, a bigger life, whether it could have been mine. I Don't know. But I thought, I know there's more than this shitty little school with these nasty little fuckers all around me and this little village. I know. And I just. That's what kept me going. And sure enough, at 16, I somehow moved to Cardiff. And then I met these amazing people that said, if you get into a college, we'll pay for you to go. Yeah. And I got in. I said, 17, arriving the day Diana died in London. Can you imagine? I arrived in this city that I was already familiar with, but now it wasn't some place I was visiting. It was going to be my. And that's when you know. And so these little bits of hope, I think the message really is, you know, even in your darkest moments, if you can just hang on to something that's outside of that darkness, something like, there is a better. There's a better idea here somewhere. I just need to get through. This is temporary. This will pass. This too shall pass. It's very easy to say that when you're not in a dark place. I'm very aware of what I'm saying is, like, great. It's easy for you to say because you're not there. But, you know, that inner voice sometimes is the only voice you can hear. And I've had to use my inner voice and. And train it to be the one that helps me, not the one that diminishes me and. And inhibits me and causes me more drama. I. I'm trying to make that the better voice inside me that helps me, carry me through something. You know, you've got to be really savvy and understand opportunities. And don't keep thinking, I'll do it. I'll take the next one. I think you should always grasp things. If you can, you should. Even if you fail, even if it doesn't work out, opportunities are valuable in life. Sometimes they're small opportunities, you know, sometimes they're huge and you don't even know it. Opportunities can literally change the trajectory of your life. I wrote a card to a casting director once in the West End for a play. I'd never done a play, only musicals, and this play was about two Welsh boys. It was at the Donmar Warehouse, which is sort of like the nirvana of theaters. And, you know, Nicole Kidman does a show there. I couldn't get seen, so I personally wrote a letter to the casting director and I thought, what have I got to lose? And she phoned me back. I went in three weeks later, I got one of those lead roles, and that was the play that changed my whole career. A year later, I was in my first movie. I just did my 46 film 15 years later because I wrote a card. Opportunities. Look for them. Don't take them for granted. Just take them by the horns and just go with it.
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E
That's epic. Luke. I sat with someone recently who said, you can't just think you're good because lots of people are good and lots of people go, it's unfair. I'm so good at what I do. That's not good enough. You have to put yourself out there.
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C
You do.
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You have to show people your talent. You have to show that you can write letters, get on doorsteps, knock on doors, do anything, because otherwise people. People don't know you're good if they don't. Can't see it.
[18:26]
C
No, exactly. Right? Yeah. It's the same with, with, you know, when you. I have a film coming out. You know, when we have a film. When I have a film coming out, I have to go sell it. I have to impress junkets, podcasts, interviews, you know, travel the world to red carpet. You. You put the effort in because it's your product and you want people to see it, but you have to make the. Make people aware of it. And I think it's the same with personal things. Like, you know, if you, if you got something to show, then put it out there and, and, and, you know, be your own spokesperson. The best spokesperson you'll ever have is your.
[19:22]
A
Not every sale happens at the register. Before AT&T business Wireless, checking out customers on our mobile POS systems took too long. Basically a staring contest where everyone loses. It's crazy what people will say during an awkward silence. Now transactions are done before the silence takes hold. That means I can focus on the task at hand and make an extra sale or two. Sometimes I do miss the bonding time. Sometimes.
[19:46]
C
AT&T business Wireless connecting changes everything.
[19:51]
D
Lemonade Multi Pet discounts are way better than Multi Pet group chats.
[19:55]
A
Hey, it's Bubbles, your cat. Your idiot dog. Jingles just barfed up a sock puppet.
[20:00]
E
Hey, it's Jingles. I'm fine. Just that stupid sock was looking at me fun.
[20:04]
D
Oh, he's doing it again.
[20:06]
C
Jingles.
[20:07]
A
He ate it again and puked it up again. He might need a vet.
[20:13]
E
Yeah, I might need a vet.
[20:15]
D
With Lemonade Pet insurance, you save 10 per policy when you protect multiple pets. Get a'@lemonade.com pet yeah, maxing is so maxing right now, bro. Get ready for spicy chicken maxing because Carl's Jr. Is saving you big with a 5.99 maxed out double stack Double Stack Double Stack Spicy Chicken sandwich seriously. Just $5.99 double stack spicy Chicken this is unreal value in the bromosphere. The new Spicy Chicken Max Wallet Friendly Max Tasty only at Carl's Jr available for a limited time at participating restaurants. Taxon included. Not valid for use within a combo or a combination with any other offered discount.
[20:52]
F
Hey, I'm Carl Radke. You might know me from Bravo Summerhouse, but on my podcast More Life, I get your favorite reality stars off the clock and into the conversations you don't usually get to hear. The deep stuff, the vulnerable stuff, the uncomfortable stuff. I've sat down with Sierra Miller, Dorinda Medley, Tom Schwartz, Lindsay Hubbard, and a whole lot more. We get into relationships, growing up, the messy stuff, and everything that happens when the cameras aren't rolling. New episodes of More Life every week. Listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube.

Summary5 min read

Podcast Summary: Great Company with Jamie Laing
Episode: LUKE EVANS: Realising Who You Are | GREAT MOMENTS
Release Date: August 2, 2026
Host: Jamie Laing | Guest: Luke Evans

Episode Overview

In this emotionally powerful episode of “Great Company,” Jamie Laing sits down with actor and singer Luke Evans to revisit some of the most resonant moments from his career and life journey. The conversation centers on themes of resilience, identity, the struggle to accept oneself, and the profound importance of family and hope. Evans opens up about his complex upbringing as a Jehovah’s Witness in Wales, his struggles with sexuality, and the life-changing decisions that propelled him beyond his past. Listeners gain intimate insights into overcoming adversity, the importance of support systems, and the value of hope and perseverance in the face of life's greatest challenges.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Growing Up as a Jehovah’s Witness in Wales (03:12–06:22)

Luke Evans describes the unique challenges of growing up both as a Jehovah’s Witness and coming to terms with his sexuality in a conservative environment.
He recounts the emotional burden of hearing scriptures condemning homosexuality and knowing he couldn't discuss his feelings with anyone:
- Quote:
  “There’s law there that would… people that will die, Armageddon are murderers, thieves, men who lie with men… they’re in the same paragraph in the Bible.” — Luke Evans (03:24)
Excommunication (“disfellowshipping”) within the religion is discussed, including the drastic consequences of being cut off from family and community, leading to stories of loss and even suicide among others.
- “Their reason for that is it keeps the congregation clean…but that person…loses everything they’ve ever known.” — Luke Evans (03:49)

Notable Moment:

At just 12 years old, Evans planned to leave home once he turned 16, feeling certain that nothing would change within the faith’s rigid environment.
- “I remember at 12 years old going, I have to make a plan…until then I was just going to throw myself into the religion and be the best f***ing Jehovah’s Witness they’d ever had.” — Luke Evans (05:20)

2. Family Dynamics and Unconditional Parental Love (06:22–10:38)

Evans describes his parents as “amazing,” highlighting the extraordinary balance they’ve managed between their religious convictions and loving their son.
Despite being disfellowshipped, his parents found ways to remain in his life, even when it felt like a “cloak and dagger” operation:
- “…It was even cloak and dagger for a while…like the CIA… keeping an eye on us all the time.” — Luke Evans (06:44)
Jamie reads an emotional excerpt—a speech from Luke’s father—about Evans’ unwavering support of his family, even when others in the faith encouraged them to shun him:
- “When I got sick, who put petrol in the car? Who paid for the electricity? Who paid for the food… it was our son. Don’t come to our house and tell us not to speak to our son because if it wasn’t for him, we wouldn’t have this house.” — Luke Evans’ father, shared by Jamie Laing (08:54)
Evans gets emotional discussing the complexity of love, loyalty and faith.

3. Bullying, Self-Compassion, and Survival Tactics (10:38–14:18)

Evans opens up about being heavily bullied in school but attributes his resilience to unconditional parental love.
- Quote: “As soon as I leave school, I’m never going to see these people again. I couldn’t run out of those school gates quicker.” — Luke Evans (11:49)
Jamie reflects on how children experience suffering and joy, emphasizing that pain can feel endless at that age, making Evans’ outlook all the more poignant. (11:57)
Evans explains that despite not being able to confide in his parents due to religious restrictions, he developed a powerful inner voice to reassure and guide himself.

4. Hope, Opportunity, and Making Your Own Luck (14:18–18:01)

Evans expresses how the knowledge of a bigger world outside his small Welsh village fueled him through his darkest moments:
- “I knew during all this time that there was a bigger world, a bigger life…I know there’s more than this shitty little school with these nasty little f***ers all around me…” — Luke Evans (14:18)
He shares stories of early trips to London, which inspired hope and broadened his horizons.
Evans emphasizes the importance of “grasping opportunities,” sharing how a simple handwritten note to a casting director led to a career-defining role:
- “I personally wrote a letter to the casting director…three weeks later, I got one of those lead roles, and that was the play that changed my whole career.” — Luke Evans (17:17)
Key message: Opportunities—no matter how small—can be transformative if seized.

5. Showing Yourself, Making Your Own Way (18:01–18:25)

Jamie and Luke discuss the necessity of self-promotion and resilience in both art and life:
- “You can’t just think you’re good…you have to put yourself out there…otherwise people don’t know you’re good if they don’t see it.” — Jamie Laing (18:13)
Evans connects this to his experiences promoting films and encourages everyone to be their “own spokesperson.”

Memorable Quotes & Moments

On Disfellowshipping:
“Nobody has the right to tell somebody else not to talk to their flesh and blood.” — Luke Evans (10:25)
On Family:
“They have managed to find a way where they love their God…respect what they do, but they also have a child who they love and cherish.” — Luke Evans (07:57)
On Hope:
“Even in your darkest moments…if you can just hang on to something that’s outside of that darkness…this too shall pass.” — Luke Evans (16:33)
On Opportunity:
“Opportunities can literally change the trajectory of your life…sometimes they’re huge, and you don’t even know it.” — Luke Evans (17:02)
On Self-Advocacy:
“Be your own spokesperson. The best spokesperson you’ll ever have is you.” — Luke Evans (18:25)

Key Timestamps of Important Segments

Growing up Jehovah’s Witness & sexuality: 03:12–06:22
Parental support and family dynamics: 06:22–10:38
Bullying, inner resilience, and self-love: 10:38–14:18
Finding hope and pursuing opportunity: 14:18–18:01
Making your own breaks & self-advocacy: 18:01–18:25

Tone & Style

The episode is both deeply personal and inspiring, filled with raw honesty and moments of reflection. Luke Evans shares openly about pain and resilience in a way that is relatable, using humor and warmth even when addressing life’s toughest challenges. Jamie Laing’s empathetic hosting helps keep the conversation heartfelt and engaging.

For further inspiration and details, listeners are encouraged to check out the full episode via the provided link in the show notes.

Loading summary

Transcript61 lines

[00:00]
A
Hi.
[00:01]
B
Who here loves when their nails are perfectly done?
[00:04]
A
Me.
[00:05]
B
I'm Sarah Gibson Tuttle and I started Olive in June because let's be real, we all deserve to have gorgeous nails. But who wants to spend a fortune or half their day at the salon? And that's why I created the Mani system. So you can have that salon perfect manicure right at home. And guess what? The best part, each mani only costs two dollars. Yup, you heard me. Two dollars. No more 30, 40, $50 salon trips that eat up your day. Now you can paint your whenever you want, wherever you want. And trust me, you're going to be obsessed with your nails and everyone is going to ask you where did you get your nails done? And here's a little something extra. Head over to oliveandjune.com and get 20% off your first mani system with code perfectmani20@oliveandjune.com perfectmanny20 that's code perfectmanny20 for 20% off at oliveandjeune.com perfectmanny20. You're all set for a nail glow up. Let's get those nails looking fabulous, shall we?
[01:00]
A
Not every sale happens at the register. Before AT&T business Wireless checking out customers on our mobile POS systems took too long. Basically a staring contest where everyone loses. It's crazy what people will say during an awkward silence. Now transactions are done before the silence takes hold. That means I can focus on the task at hand and make an extra sale or two. Sometimes I do miss the bonding time.
[01:24]
C
Sometimes AT&T business Wireless connecting changes everything.
[01:30]
D
Yeah, maxing is so maxing right now bro. Get ready for spicy chicken maxing because Carl's Jr. Is saving you big with a 5.99 maxed out double stack double stack double stack spicy chicken sandwich. Seriously, just 5.99 double stack spicy chicken. This is unreal value in the bromosphere. The new spicy chicken Max wallet friendly Max Tasty only at Carl's Jr available for limited time at participating restaurants. Tax unincluded, not valid for use within a combo or combination with any of their offered discount.
[02:00]
C
Hello guys, it's Jamie and Sophie from
[02:02]
A
the newly parents podcast here.
[02:03]
E
Coming up on this week's episode, I remember almost breaking my ass. I was rollerblading the road. Ripped my ass cheeks off.
[02:14]
C
Why did it grip so much to the ground? And how big was your bum at nine?
[02:18]
E
It was honestly like one pilot. One cheek got super glued to the ground and the other one was on ice.
[02:25]
A
Listen or watch wherever you get your podcasts, foreign.
[02:33]
E
I'm Jamie Laing, and this is Great Moments. Hey, everyone. I hope you're well and welcome back to Great Moments. Now, if you're new here, this is the place where I'm going to bring you a standout moment from one of my favorite great comedy conversations. These are the moments that have stayed with me long after the recording, and I hope you can take something away from them now. If today's conversation leaves you wanting more, you can find the link to the full episode in the show notes. So sit back, settle in, and here it is. I want to talk about the fact that you. You grew up in Wales,
[03:13]
A
you.
[03:13]
E
And you've written about this in your book. You were confused with your sexuality, and you also grew up as a Jehovah's Witness.
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C
No.
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E
That combination.
[03:24]
C
Crazy is wild. Yes. Yeah. It's not. Not the best combination in the world. There's law there that would. There's one that says people that will die, Armageddon are murderers, thieves, men who lie with men. You know, things like that. They're in the same. The same paragraph in the Bible. So as I'm a young kid, you know, realizing firstly, I'm different, not understanding what it is. Can't ask anybody, because obviously I couldn't. No one around me wasn't a Jehovah's Witness. Then realizing who I was, coming to terms with that, but not being able to tell anyone because every now and again we'd be in Kingdom hall and that scripture would be read out loud. And I just felt like, you know, there was a big arrow on my head. And so. And. And anybody that doesn't stick to the religion who is baptized, which I was very young, if you don't stick to the rules, you're disfellowshipped and you're cut off. And basically, literally cut off, you lose everyone. They completely ignore you, like you didn't exist. They. Their reason for that is that it keeps the congregation clean. But I think partly it is also to do with the fact that that person who's been thrown out loses everything they've ever known. Their support network, their family, their parents, their brothers and sisters, their friends. That's everything. It's removed from them overnight, and it can damage. I mean, the stories are horrendous. I am very fortunate when I read the stories of some ex Witnesses who've been disfellowshipped and have lost everyone. You know, from marriages breaking up to problems with drugs, employment, depression, confidence, loneliness, and inevitably, suicide. There's too many of these stories. So I'm very lucky in a way that I managed to get out of it the way I did and start a new life. But I was always very sort of like, I remember at 12 years old going, I have to make a plan because I know this isn't going to change. I knew at 16 I was going to leave home and I did, I made a plan. And until then I was just going to throw myself into the religion and be the best fucking Jehovah's Witness they'd ever had. So that when I left, they'd be like, oh, God, he was the best one we've ever had. So I did. I threw myself into the religion. I did everything they wanted me to do. And then I. And then I slowly just distanced myself and I got to 16 and then I left. Left home and started another life. And so sadly, the only people I have in my life from before 16 are the non Jehovah's Witness people, which we didn't know many. All my oldest friends are from 16 onwards, which is very sad.
[06:23]
E
Your parents, man, they just seem to be amazing.
[06:27]
C
They are. They really are amazing. Yeah.
[06:31]
E
And to the point where they were devoted and they didn't. When you decide to leave, they didn't deny you.
[06:38]
C
No, I'm not. It was very difficult. It wasn't like, nope, we're just going to be in your life. It was not easy. It was just not easy. It wasn't something that we could. It was even cloak and dagger for a while, you know, when we would meet, because they were just like, I don't know, the CIA or something, just keeping an eye on us all the time. Are you serious? Even when I moved to London, yeah. I was disfellowshipped six years after I left the religion. I thought I'd move to London to get away from it all and not. Not bring any reproach. Nobody knew that I'd been a Jehovah's Witness. But yes, it was like six years after then they disfellowshiped me and I was like, seriously, up until that time, of course my parents could keep in touch because there was no disfellowshipping. But after that it became very, very difficult. So we've been through and I really admire them. I mean, I. I respect their religion, I respect their beliefs. It's wonderful that they found something when they were teenagers that's brought them a lot of happiness. But it wasn't my choice. I didn't get a choice. And of course, who I am, you know, deep down is not something that their religion was. That was. I was born into accepts. So I didn't really have a choice whether I wanted to be a Witness or not. And because of who I am, I lost everyone except my mum and dad. They have managed to find a way where they love their God, they love their religion, they respect what they do, but they also have a child who they love and cherish, as do I, them. Why on earth would it feel right to disown him? I've never questioned their beliefs. I never want to. I'm very happy for them. It just took some. Some trust, understanding, patience and just acceptance of each other. And they're great. I think they're such a. They're such a good example of what a Jehovah's Witness could be like if they just let them.
[08:43]
E
There's an amazing thing which I wrote, which I want to read. I read this and it made me tear up. Because you. You've supported your parents in lots of ways. You bought the house next to them.
[08:54]
C
You.
[08:54]
E
They rented out, so they got money and all these different things. And your dad gave a speech and he said this. When I got sick, who put petrol in the car? Who paid for the electricity? Who paid for the food in the fridge? Was it. You know, it was our son. Don't come to our house and tell us not to speak to our son because if it wasn't for him, we wouldn't have this house.
[09:29]
C
Yeah.
[09:30]
E
That is unbelievable.
[09:33]
C
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's. It's very hard to even talk about it because it's. It's a very emotional thing that, you know, he said those words and they came from the heart and they're true. You know, I've always supported them and made sure they're safe, usually before myself. And they're good. They're my priority in life to make sure they're. They're happy and safe and, you know, need for nothing, want for nothing. So it was. Yeah, it was a nice thing that he said that. Obviously not a pleasant thing he'd had to say to the people that he's, you know, supposed to spend forever on paradise on earth with. But, you know, he put it straight, he set it straight and. And he's right. Yeah, damn it, like, of course he's right.
[10:25]
E
Right.
[10:25]
C
How dare you tell. Nobody has the right to tell somebody else not to talk to the. Their flesh and blood.
[10:35]
E
I know.
[10:35]
C
That's your choice whether you do that. Nobody. That's insane.
[10:39]
E
It's the personification of love, which is unbelievable. I always Got told something which is where if your parents show. If your parents show you love, you know how to be loved yourself. And what is amazing as well is that when you were bullied at school, you kind of always said, well, there's something wrong with the bullies because you were loved so much. You knew you were okay. You felt almost enough maybe that you could sort of get through it.
[11:04]
C
I somehow knew that it was. I was. I used to say, and I don't know how, because I didn't have anyone to talk to about the bully. The words that they used to call me, right. It was horrible.
[11:13]
A
What were they.
[11:13]
E
What were they calling me?
[11:14]
C
I think a bender. Shirtlifter. Jovi bender. Which is like the amalgam of the two things which could never be together. You know, it's like I used to say to myself at that young age, this is only temporary. 1. At some point you are going to be able to leave school and something else will change. And I. I mean, I did have moments as a child wondering why they chose me instead of the other boy in the school, in the classroom, why always me? I questioned a lot about myself, but there was a point when I just thought, well, whatever it is, I don't care, because as soon as I leave school, I'm never going to see these people again. I'm going to leave. You know, I couldn't run out of those school gates quicker.
[11:58]
E
But that is unique because as kids, right, we're learning, right. I truly think that the reason why, when we're kids, everything happens so much slower is because we're experiencing a first kiss or like going on a first holiday or experiencing snow for the. You're experiencing these for the first time. And now when we go through joy or suffering or whatever it is, we kind of know it's going to pass. That's why I love the quote, this too shall pass. Because everything does pass when you're younger. In that moment, you don't know it's going to finish. No, you have no idea.
[12:29]
C
First time.
[12:30]
E
First time experiencing it. So how did you have that confidence that you were like, this is only temporary?
[12:37]
B
Was your.
[12:38]
E
Is that from your religion that you realized that suffering was only temporary or you just. That's blind confidence.
[12:44]
C
Yeah. Yeah, blind confidence. And I think. I mean, what. What should have been the case is that I would have felt that I could have just talked to my mum and dad. I didn't have brothers and sisters. I should have felt that I could just talk to them. But the religion very clearly dictated that what I had a problem with. I couldn't talk to them about or anybody. So I had to rely only on my own voice, my own words, my own inner therapist, you know, and somehow it. I came up with that, that it's only temporary. I honestly still. I'm amazed that I could compartmentalize the situation that I was in under, you know, dealing with at that time and know that there was a. There was a bigger world outside. I also knew about London. I mean, I knew that, you know, we used to have a family that lived in Hemel Hempstead and we. Another Jehovah's Witness family. And we'd go and visit them and we'd get on the. The train at Saint Albans and then we'd turn the underground. Then you'd go in the tunnels and then you'd come up the staircase at Piccadilly Circus. And I'd be like, what is this place? I remember being like nine and going, why is this place? Look. And look at all the different light signs of people and the noise and the lights and all walks of life, literally walking. Like, you see more people in 10 minutes than I'd seen a year in Aberbargoid, you know, and not a sheep inside.
[14:18]
F
And.
[14:19]
C
And I remember going, everybody else is talking about getting to Madame Tussauds. And I'm going, look at that person and look at this person. I'm thinking, I'm gonna live here one day. And then you'd go back to Aberbarguide. And then a few years would go by and we'd go down again. And then we started to go to see musicals. Me and my mum, we'd come on the bus. We'd get on a bus at like 5:30 from a Baba guide. And you'd arrive in London at like 11:30 for the matinee performance. And me and my mom, we just like, walked the streets of London. And then I used to come. It's in the book. There's one story. I used to then come with one of the good women from the village. I was 14 and basically, of course, I love the musicals. But my excitement was I had this hour from when you get off the bus to you had to be at the theater to watch the show. And I had a plan. I was gonna find Soho and I was just gonna sit and watch all the life of what was then the gay center of London. And that's what I did. So I knew during all this time that there was a bigger world, a bigger life, whether it could have been mine. I Don't know. But I thought, I know there's more than this shitty little school with these nasty little fuckers all around me and this little village. I know. And I just. That's what kept me going. And sure enough, at 16, I somehow moved to Cardiff. And then I met these amazing people that said, if you get into a college, we'll pay for you to go. Yeah. And I got in. I said, 17, arriving the day Diana died in London. Can you imagine? I arrived in this city that I was already familiar with, but now it wasn't some place I was visiting. It was going to be my. And that's when you know. And so these little bits of hope, I think the message really is, you know, even in your darkest moments, if you can just hang on to something that's outside of that darkness, something like, there is a better. There's a better idea here somewhere. I just need to get through. This is temporary. This will pass. This too shall pass. It's very easy to say that when you're not in a dark place. I'm very aware of what I'm saying is, like, great. It's easy for you to say because you're not there. But, you know, that inner voice sometimes is the only voice you can hear. And I've had to use my inner voice and. And train it to be the one that helps me, not the one that diminishes me and. And inhibits me and causes me more drama. I. I'm trying to make that the better voice inside me that helps me, carry me through something. You know, you've got to be really savvy and understand opportunities. And don't keep thinking, I'll do it. I'll take the next one. I think you should always grasp things. If you can, you should. Even if you fail, even if it doesn't work out, opportunities are valuable in life. Sometimes they're small opportunities, you know, sometimes they're huge and you don't even know it. Opportunities can literally change the trajectory of your life. I wrote a card to a casting director once in the West End for a play. I'd never done a play, only musicals, and this play was about two Welsh boys. It was at the Donmar Warehouse, which is sort of like the nirvana of theaters. And, you know, Nicole Kidman does a show there. I couldn't get seen, so I personally wrote a letter to the casting director and I thought, what have I got to lose? And she phoned me back. I went in three weeks later, I got one of those lead roles, and that was the play that changed my whole career. A year later, I was in my first movie. I just did my 46 film 15 years later because I wrote a card. Opportunities. Look for them. Don't take them for granted. Just take them by the horns and just go with it.
[18:01]
E
That's epic. Luke. I sat with someone recently who said, you can't just think you're good because lots of people are good and lots of people go, it's unfair. I'm so good at what I do. That's not good enough. You have to put yourself out there.
[18:14]
C
You do.
[18:14]
E
You have to show people your talent. You have to show that you can write letters, get on doorsteps, knock on doors, do anything, because otherwise people. People don't know you're good if they don't. Can't see it.
[18:26]
C
No, exactly. Right? Yeah. It's the same with, with, you know, when you. I have a film coming out. You know, when we have a film. When I have a film coming out, I have to go sell it. I have to impress junkets, podcasts, interviews, you know, travel the world to red carpet. You. You put the effort in because it's your product and you want people to see it, but you have to make the. Make people aware of it. And I think it's the same with personal things. Like, you know, if you, if you got something to show, then put it out there and, and, and, you know, be your own spokesperson. The best spokesperson you'll ever have is your.
[19:22]
A
Not every sale happens at the register. Before AT&T business Wireless, checking out customers on our mobile POS systems took too long. Basically a staring contest where everyone loses. It's crazy what people will say during an awkward silence. Now transactions are done before the silence takes hold. That means I can focus on the task at hand and make an extra sale or two. Sometimes I do miss the bonding time. Sometimes.
[19:46]
C
AT&T business Wireless connecting changes everything.
[19:51]
D
Lemonade Multi Pet discounts are way better than Multi Pet group chats.
[19:55]
A
Hey, it's Bubbles, your cat. Your idiot dog. Jingles just barfed up a sock puppet.
[20:00]
E
Hey, it's Jingles. I'm fine. Just that stupid sock was looking at me fun.
[20:04]
D
Oh, he's doing it again.
[20:06]
C
Jingles.
[20:07]
A
He ate it again and puked it up again. He might need a vet.
[20:13]
E
Yeah, I might need a vet.
[20:15]
D
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[20:52]
F
Hey, I'm Carl Radke. You might know me from Bravo Summerhouse, but on my podcast More Life, I get your favorite reality stars off the clock and into the conversations you don't usually get to hear. The deep stuff, the vulnerable stuff, the uncomfortable stuff. I've sat down with Sierra Miller, Dorinda Medley, Tom Schwartz, Lindsay Hubbard, and a whole lot more. We get into relationships, growing up, the messy stuff, and everything that happens when the cameras aren't rolling. New episodes of More Life every week. Listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube.