OLIVIA ATTWOOD: Why I'm Not Afraid To Be Alone Anymore

Summary

Podcast Summary: Great Company with Jamie Laing

Episode: OLIVIA ATTWOOD: Why I'm Not Afraid To Be Alone Anymore

Released: February 11, 2026

Host: Jamie Laing
Guest: Olivia Attwood

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Overview

In this compelling and candid episode, Jamie Laing sits down with television personality and documentary maker Olivia Attwood to delve deep into themes of self-acceptance, anxiety, personal resilience, social media scrutiny, relationships, and the journey to becoming comfortable in one’s own company. Olivia opens up about private struggles, how she’s evolved from fearing solitude to embracing it, and touches upon her career, mental health, and the realities of life in the public eye.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Fear of Being Alone and Learning to Love Solitude

• Olivia’s Early Struggles: Olivia shares she used to be “terrified to be with my own thoughts or my own company,” leading her to never want to be alone, often overlapping relationships to avoid solitude.

  “The idea of being alone was so much more terrifying than not just being with someone. Just terrified to be with my own thoughts.” (00:00)

• Growth and Embracing Solitude: She describes the liberation of finally becoming comfortable alone and how it positively changed her relationships:

  “One of the most powerful things that you can harness in this life is to be comfortable with yourself, because that's the only person that was there at the beginning. You'll be there at the end.” (19:48)

• Impact on Relationships: Olivia explains that learning to enjoy her own company made her relationships healthier and less desperate, shifting from fearing loneliness to appreciating independence.

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2. Performing in Public vs. Needing Alone Time

• Olivia identifies as an “extroverted introvert,” comfortable in social or performative settings but quickly drained by them:

  “I like to be around people and I'm slightly...performative. And I'm social, but it drains me very quickly.” (17:56)

• She highlights the need to recharge alone, noting her love of solitary activities and even preferring solo long-haul flights:

  “Most people would hate the idea of a long distance flight alone. And when I go away with my team and we shoot TV shows…Some nights I'll get to the end of filming and I'll go, no, I need to eat like room service alone.” (18:20)

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3. Anxiety, ADHD, and Self-Awareness

• Olivia traces her lifelong struggles with anxiety, recounting panic attacks as a child and adolescent.
• Diagnosis Journey: She was officially diagnosed with ADHD at 21, which reframed her experiences:

  “She said, you to me are just textbook ADHD. So it's like a chicken and egg thing. You're overstimulating yourself...The anxiety is coming as a warning sign that you're in overdrive.” (36:38)

• Coping Mechanisms: Olivia prefers tangible, cognitive therapy-based strategies over digging into her past:

  “Some people like to sit and talk about feelings and unpack, like childhood memories...I just didn't feel like it was helping me...but practical, actual, useful methods...that's a lot more how I learned.” (33:31)

• She discusses being disciplined, but sometimes directing her discipline into the wrong areas due to a need for control.

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4. Empathy, Boundaries, and People-Pleasing

• Olivia opens up about her high levels of empathy, sometimes imagining others’ suffering and feeling responsible for their emotions:

  “I could have these overwhelming feelings of empathy for someone I don't know...Why are you taking on emotional baggage of people you don't know?” (07:10)

• She admits struggling with boundary-setting and overcompensating to avoid disappointing anyone.
• Notable Insight: “We have a responsibility towards other people, not for them.” (08:49)

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5. Navigating Public Scrutiny and Self-Worth

• Olivia distinguishes not caring about mass public opinion but being deeply affected by the perceptions of those close to her:

  “I don't care about a mass consensus...But I care deeply about people close to me, people that employ me, my family...” (10:17)

• She and Jamie discuss the hazards of letting negative online chatter “creep in”:

  “Once you let a little bit creep in, I've found myself go down a hole of scrolling or seeing my name in a thread and then I kind of have to like remove myself...” (11:54)

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6. Relationships: Honesty, Social Portrayal, and Real Work

• Olivia is transparent about the challenges in her marriage, bucking the trend of curated, “perfect” online personas:

  “There's a newer generation...who are sharing things that previous generations have...pretend everything's fine. I just know that a lot of people will relate to the kind of year Brad and I had...when you're like, this is like, you know, young married people...so easy to become disconnected.” (13:33)

• Both agree authenticity is more valuable than maintaining a facade:

  “Relationships are their work...You do have to actively put into them.” (14:06)

• They poke fun at social media “relationship theater,” noting those who project relentless happiness often struggle behind closed doors.

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7. Toxic Relationships and Learning Self-Value

• Olivia reflects honestly on past toxic and even misogynistic relationships, admitting she was sometimes “a bit garbage as well.”
• She discusses how societal understanding of traits like narcissism or ADHD was limited during her youth.
• Olivia realized that despite growing up with a strong parental example, she was unprepared for “rat bags” because she didn’t realize men could be “bad.”
• Now, she sets higher standards and credits her family as foundational, but admits to a period of rebellion and naiveté.

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8. Societal Loneliness and Community-seeking Online

• Olivia thinks today’s media and podcasting often create a false sense of community, which can contribute to extremism and belonging by hating or judging collectively:

  “People are drawn to extreme thoughts because it makes them feel part of something. People are craving community and to feel like they belong in something...that's why problematic speakers, podcasters, they're thriving, because people are so lonely.” (27:44)

• She allows negative commenters to congregate in her social channels, seeing it as them “needing that community” in their day.

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9. Olivia’s Television Work: OnlyFans, Cosmetic Surgery & Perfection

• Upcoming Series: Olivia shares about her documentary specials, including a celebrity OnlyFans deep dive (Katie Price, Kerry Katona, Lauren Goodyear), and a Vegas episode on the sex economy:

  “They're telling me really, like, the truth. Showing what they earn, what they post, why they do it. So that's fascinating...” (44:14)

• Take on OnlyFans:

  “Society wants women sexualized, but when they elect and do it themselves, we don't like it...I think the age limit should be increased...I think it's being glamorized for young women as a great alternative...and that is a little bit scary.” (45:01)

• Plastic Surgery and Societal Pressures:

  “It's a very easy way to control and guilt women predominantly. And you, you have to free yourself from the trappings of it as best you can—which is super hard in this, you know, image-based society.” (49:03)

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10. Memorable Jellyfish Story & Starting on Love Island

• Olivia recounts a hilarious and painful mishap right before entering Love Island:

  “I waded into, like, here, and anywhere your eye could see, there was a jellyfish...This little pervert jellyfish like, attacked my vagina...it just looked like I had aggressive herpes outbreak.” (54:53)

• She was forced to wear denim shorts to cover up the rash, and jokes about her “scruffy” season on the show.

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11. Olivia’s Relationship With Herself Today

• She rates her self-relationship as a “seven out of ten,” admitting to being in the best place of her life but still hard on herself.

  “I'm in the best place I ever have been in my entire life, like from birth, genuinely...But I give myself...a really hard time.” (31:10)

• Reiterates the importance of practical habits for mental well-being—moderation with caffeine/alcohol, regular exercise, and structured discipline—and the challenges of managing ADHD.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Boundaries and Empathy:

  “We have a responsibility towards other people, [but] not for them.” — Olivia (08:49)

• On Overcoming People-Pleasing:

  “I never want to disappoint anyone...I overcompensate sometimes then maybe to my own detriment.” — Olivia (09:06)

• On Social Media and Scrutiny:

  “If you're going to be in this industry, you have to actually accept that that stuff's actually not any of your business.” — Olivia (11:11)

• On OnlyFans & Agency:

  “Society wants women sexualized, but when they elect and do it themselves, we don't like it...we like doing it to women, we don't like women doing it for themselves.” — Olivia (45:01)

• On Dealing With Anxiety:

  “Once I started to have actual usable methods, like breathing properly…that’s how I kind of got control of it.” — Olivia (34:48)

• On ADHD and Stimulants:

  “If I drink on a flight, I'm trying to get in the cockpit. I swear to God, like, I don't drink on flights anymore, ever. Cause I can. I am a menace.” — Olivia (38:54)

• On Perceived Perfection:

  “Ultimately a lot of people are pursuing perfection, which one doesn’t exist. So you’re kind of trying to reach something constant. You can’t get it.” — Olivia (49:07)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00 — Olivia on her fear of being alone
• 07:10 — Empathy, boundaries, and people-pleasing
• 10:17 — Public scrutiny & what opinions matter
• 13:33 — Sharing real relationships online vs. curating happiness
• 19:48 — The freedom of enjoying your own company
• 33:31 — Olivia on practical therapy vs. talk therapy
• 36:38 — ADHD, anxiety, and diagnosis
• 44:14 — Upcoming TV series on OnlyFans and the Vegas sex economy
• 45:01 — Olivia’s thoughts on OnlyFans, societal double standards, and dangers for young women
• 49:03 — Cosmetic surgery, chasing perfection, and societal pressures
• 54:53 — The infamous Love Island jellyfish story
• 31:10 — Olivia rates her self-relationship and current mindset

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Olivia’s Quick-Fire Answers (57:36–59:38)

• Phrase that cheers her up: “Don’t bring your shit to a piss fight.”
• Best compliment received: Her resilience.
• Greatest fear about herself: Not stopping to enjoy what she’s achieved.
• Last time she cried: When moving house.
• Guilty pleasure: Clubbing.
• Turns her off: Not being seen.
• Turns her on: Laughing, having fun, being broken down (emotionally vulnerable).
• What she likes most: Work ethic and (sometimes to her detriment) generosity.
• Hall pass: Casper the Ghost (“He’s so beautiful. Those big eyes, man…”)

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Tone & Style

The conversation is uproariously funny, deeply honest, and refreshingly unfiltered—Olivia’s charismatic candor pairs perfectly with Jamie’s empathetic but cheeky interview style. Both speakers move seamlessly between irreverent humor and thoughtful reflection, offering relatable insights for anyone navigating self-worth, public life, or simply searching for more comfort in their own company.

Transcript

[Olivia Atwood]

Coming up on Great Company. The idea of being alone was so much more terrifying than not just being with someone. Just terrified to be with my own thoughts.

[Jamie Laing]

Was there a moment when you suddenly were like, well, hang on, I don't like my own company.

[Olivia Atwood]

Yeah.

[Advertisement/Voiceover]

Wow.

[Olivia Atwood]

I've never actually really spoke about it, like, in any in this kind of detail ever. I'm Olivia Atwood and I'm in great company. My house, my rules. Just fall into the dick sound. Sit back down. I'm sad. Fucking calm down.

[Jamie Laing]

When you did Love island, it's still the most watched series ever in the world.

[Olivia Atwood]

The last day before I was about to go in the villa, I thought, I've not swam in the sea the last two weeks. I'm gonna swim in the sea today. I waded into, like, here. This little pervert jellyfish, like, attached my vagina. It just looked like I had aggressive herpes outbreak.

[Jamie Laing]

When Olivia Atwood is at home, what kind of personality are you?

[Olivia Atwood]

I'm an extroverted introvert.

[Jamie Laing]

Have you always been like this?

[Olivia Atwood]

I've always been like. If I didn't know it, I had a very happy childhood, but I was a very anxious child because I used to have panic attacks when I was at school.

[Jamie Laing]

Cliff, I didn't realize this about you.

[Olivia Atwood]

I give myself a really hard time. My anxiety was impacting me so much that I went to see someone who specialized in adolescent anxiety depression. And I was like thinking, just give me a cure for this. And at the end of the hour, she was like, has anyone ever talked.

[Jamie Laing]

To you about, wow, that would have been a shock.

[Olivia Atwood]

I guess I was a bit blindsided by it and I kind of. I didn't know kind of how to navigate it.

[Jamie Laing]

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[Jamie Laing]

Hello, everyone. My name is Jamie Laing, and this is Great Company. Hey, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Great Company. Now, my guest today is Olivia Atwood. Liv. She came onto the podcast a couple of weeks ago and she kind of was just the perfect guest. Like, her energy is amazing. She's honest, she's fun. She's all the things you kind of want someone to be. Now, we chat a lot about self worth. We chat about past relationships. We chat about how she shares her life online. We chat about reality tv. How being comfortable in your own company is one of the most powerful things we can learn. We chat about so many things. In this episode, I also surprised Liv with a message from her best friend, Georgia Harrison, which was so much fun. Now, before we start, I always like to ask this if you could please subscribe to our show. Okay. We want to keep the show completely free. It's free at the moment. We want to keep it that way. We also want to keep getting the guests that you love and keep making the show better and better each week for you guys. So if you can do that one thing for us, we love you forever. Okay, here we go. Enjoy this episode of Great Company with Olivia Atwood.

[Olivia Atwood]

I'm Olivia Atwood and I'm in Great Company.

[Jamie Laing]

This is my first one I've done since having a baby.

[Olivia Atwood]

Wow.

[Jamie Laing]

Yeah. So honored. Don't worry about it.

[Olivia Atwood]

No pressure.

[Jamie Laing]

So I'm in that zone. I was saying to guys from A bit like, do you like purple? You don't really know.

[Olivia Atwood]

You feel like it's your first day at school.

[Jamie Laing]

I'm, like, hot and like, I'm like, overheating. I'm just like, what? Like, I'm just not. Not quite, like, in the zone.

[Olivia Atwood]

Okay, you got. So can you lead it, for God's sake. I was hoping to turn my brain off today. It's quite nice being. How do you find bigger guests now that you.

[Jamie Laing]

Much easier.

[Olivia Atwood]

Yeah, you kind of just. You just along for the ride, aren't you?

[Jamie Laing]

Well, interesting, actually. I tell you what, I do find it so. I used to actually find being a guest much easier. Now I find it hard because when I'm a guest, I just. I talk too much.

[Olivia Atwood]

But also, you know, from interviewing people, the worse the guest that doesn't talk or get or doesn't expand or just gives you one word. It's really like, they make you work for it. I've done interviews and I feel like I need to lie down afterwards. I'm like, you made me work for every.

[Jamie Laing]

Who's your worst God? Give it.

[Olivia Atwood]

I have to say, this is like. To be fair, this is not so much podcast people in, like, this industry, it's more to do docs. Because obviously, like, yes, people, that's fair to them. They've, like, they're on camera for the first time, all these cameras, and they. They kind of shut down, so. And that's half the art of it, isn't it? Getting people comfortable, getting them to open up.

[Jamie Laing]

But that's hard. Yeah, but that's a superpower that you have, right? You do. You 100 have it. I think that's the sort of an ADHD thing. Right? Which is. Yeah. Where you basically, when someone comes into a room or especially with interview, you want to make them feel as comfortable as possible. So you sort of. You create an atmosphere where you make someone else feel comfortable. Because you're almost feeling. Which I do. You're feeling a bit, like, hectic yourself, that you try and calm the situation down weirdly.

[Olivia Atwood]

I don't know. And do you have. Do you have this, like, a hyper feeling? And sometimes I think, you know, I spoke to a life coach about it once. He's like, sometimes you're too aware that you're not creating your own narrative for other people. But I feel like I can feel hyper aware if someone's uncomfortable.

[Jamie Laing]

Yeah, hold on.

[Olivia Atwood]

If I feel like someone feels left out, I can feel it. Like they might be interacting with me, but I can feel that that person feels awkward. So I turn your body to open up. Yeah. And so that I think is something ADHD people were quite tuned into.

[Jamie Laing]

Wait, hang on a second. So your life coach told you so you said this to your life coach?

[Olivia Atwood]

Yeah, I was talk. Talking about different things I say, sometimes I get. Which I think would surprise people. I could have these overwhelming feelings of like empathy for someone I don't know. So say I was on a shoot and a runner came on and maybe he was young and he was timid. And then I start to write a story for him that he's hating work and he's, he's miserable at home and his dog's not well and he's like. But you've just written what, he might be really happy. He might look a bit sad, but he might. Why are you writing? Why are you taking on emotional baggage? People you don't know, which I think would surprise people for how I present myself. Myself. But yeah, so sometimes I think it can be an in tune thing, but sometimes I add details. I think they're not maybe true for that person at all.

[Jamie Laing]

Dude, I have that. I'm not. But do you think this is. What did the life coach say? So this isn't, you know, this is an empath thing.

[Olivia Atwood]

Yeah, it's like, it's like a. Do you know how it came from? Actually, it was again, I think would surprise people. It's like I was. We're talking about advocating for myself.

[Jamie Laing]

Yeah.

[Olivia Atwood]

So I'll set a boundary for myself. And then I, I feel guilty for setting a boundary for myself so quickly. And then I start to think that, think all these things about how I've made that person feel because I've set a boundary for myself. So then I try to unpack the boundary.

[Jamie Laing]

Wait, hang on a second. Explain this to me. I don't quite understand. So what do you mean?

[Olivia Atwood]

Like, so I'm not great at setting boundaries for myself in terms of people's access to me or, you know, or saying no to things. So just because I'm taking on emotional baggage for someone else that might not even exist. Like he's like, you're over exaggerating your mind. The impact this is having on someone else. He told me the thing to remember is that we have a responsibility towards other people, not for them.

[Jamie Laing]

Correct.

[Olivia Atwood]

That's like the balance that I try to find. So me saying I don't want to do something or I don't want to talk about something doesn't mean even if that person's disappointed, it's not my job to fix that disappointment, which I have quite a hard time with.

[Jamie Laing]

That's quite. But that's really also nice.

[Olivia Atwood]

Yeah.

[Jamie Laing]

That's a complete empath.

[Olivia Atwood]

Yeah, I think. But then I think you can. I think non empaths live a lot longer. I never wanted, like, I never want to disappoint anyone. So I think I over. I overcompensate sometimes then maybe to my own detriment. So whichever role I think I'm showing up in. So, like, you know, I sometimes feel I'm the fun one or I'm the bitchy one from Love island or on this one, I feel like I want to make sure that what people are expecting, they get. But it's about trying to look after myself as well in that process.

[Jamie Laing]

I got it.

[Olivia Atwood]

I think caring about how you show up and wanting to please people is a good thing.

[Jamie Laing]

Yeah.

[Olivia Atwood]

And I think that, you know, if you want to be a successful person, you have to care about delivering something. Right. If you don't care, then, well, what's the point? But I think it's about, you know, like, boundaries of that.

[Jamie Laing]

Do you know so many people listening to that would, like, not think that. I know, because you're outspoken, you've. You are strong, completely strong. It feels like you don't care what other people think that much. But actually underneath it, you're saying no, you're actually, you're sensitive, you care a huge amount about people. You probably do get affected what other people say.

[Olivia Atwood]

Yeah.

[Jamie Laing]

Where you. It betrays a harder stereo than actually is for sure.

[Olivia Atwood]

Like, I feel that I. If you could design someone to be in this industry, if I could replicate my personality, I think that I am perfect to be in this industry because I don't care about, like a mass consensus. Like, I don't care about, you know, online chatter. I don't care about, you know, on a visceral level, I don't care about it. But. No, I really don't. But I care deeply about people close to me, people that employ me, my family. I care. I feel that like in my, you know, in my. If I did a job and I felt like someone was disappointed with my performance, it would. It hurts me badly. I don't know if. I don't know if that's an ego thing or it's just said I don't want to disappoint someone that's given me a chance. But I can tune out, like, sort of commentary. Doesn't really, like, doesn't affect you. No, I think if you're going to be in this industry, you have to actually accept that that stuff's actually not any of your business.

[Jamie Laing]

That is really good, genuinely. But that, but that's, that's generally really good just in life.

[Olivia Atwood]

Right?

[Jamie Laing]

Like that's 100 how people should be. It doesn't matter what line of work you're really in, focusing on what really matters, which is family, friends, people close to you doing a good job, everything. The chatter on the outside, that stuff needs to be ignored. But that's the hardest thing for most people to ignore. And especially now with social media, it's like impossible. I'm starting drift into a space, which I never was, where I don't care about what other people think per se, that much. But I'm sort of like thinking more about the, the outside perception.

[Olivia Atwood]

Yeah.

[Jamie Laing]

I don't know why. And I thought it would get less and less, but actually, weirdly, over the past year it's got a little bit more, which I'm noticing now. I'm like, well, stop that.

[Olivia Atwood]

But don't you think it's a little bit like water on a ship? If you let a little bit of water in, like, and then suddenly starts coming a little bit more, bit more, and before you know it, it's like going down like the Titanic. You have to be very. I think you have to be very aware of not letting it creep in because I think once you let a little bit creep in, I've found myself go down a hole of scrolling or seeing my name in a thread and then I kind of have to like remove myself and go, wait, like, is this actually like any of my business? Like, if it's just like, you know, just chatter and it's not, they're not, you know, accusing me of something terrible, which I need to, I'm not guilty of, I need to sort out. It's just like chatter and it's like people, you know, pop, culturally musing about me. Actually, that's, that's not really anything to do with me because I consume pop culture and I like to read about celebrities and I know, because I'm on the other side of it that what I'm reading might not be true, but I still enjoy it because it's gossip. Yeah, we love it when we go for the group chat. Have you seen what Kylie Jenner's doing? Like, we all consume it. So that's like, I have to remember that when it's about me, it's the same stuff. It's fluff, isn't it?

[Jamie Laing]

Your Podcast is so good, man.

[Olivia Atwood]

Thank you.

[Jamie Laing]

It's called Olivia's House and everyone should go and listen to it. It's very. It's excellent. And you kind of been open about your relationship and how it been hard, and I love that you were honest about that because relationships aren't easy.

[Olivia Atwood]

Yeah. Do you know what it's like? It was a kind of conscious, but also, you know, one thing about me, it's like I kind of. I can't really people. I kind of am just. I am very unfiltered. I am. I'm very happy to, you know, shared, you know, a lot.

[Jamie Laing]

Same as me. Because it's like, it's like, who cares? I don't. I don't really care.

[Olivia Atwood]

Yeah. And I kind of think we are the new. Like, there's a newer generation of people existing in our industry who are sharing things that previous generations have. You know, like a publicist would be like, you don't share that and just pretend everything's fine. And I just kind of thought like, yeah, I could. Could easily go down that route. But also I just know that a lot of people will relate to like the kind of year that Brad and I had. You know, when you're like, this is like, you know, young married people that have their careers and, you know, and they're both high pressure and you're doing your thing. So easy to become disconnected.

[Jamie Laing]

Correct.

[Olivia Atwood]

But I think it's like some big dirty secret that no one wants to kind of really talk about. But actually, when I talked about it, the amount of people that came and messaged me, oh, my God, like, I felt like it was just me and I felt like, you know, it was just me and my partner. And it's like, it happens, you know, and it's no joke. Like, relationships are their work. Like, you know, and I don't mean it. And I think they should be laborious and they should drain you. But you do have to actively put.

[Jamie Laing]

Into them 100 I live. I think it's so great, man, because I'm very honest about relationships and, you know, relationships for me.

[Olivia Atwood]

Right? Yeah.

[Jamie Laing]

You fall in love, you love each other, and then maybe you have, like, hiccup. It's like it's never plain sailing all the stuff that goes on with every relationship, but you have to remind yourself to keep falling in love with each other. High five. To those amazing people out there who are constantly, always in love and everything's blissful and everything's amazing. And whoever you are out there, I applaud you.

[Olivia Atwood]

Right Are they out there?

[Jamie Laing]

I don't know.

[Olivia Atwood]

I don't know if they are.

[Jamie Laing]

I don't know, man. Some people like to portray that is.

[Olivia Atwood]

The case, but you know as well as I do, the ones that go the hardest with the like, we are so happy. They're not. It's always the most, like the architect. I don't want to name anyone, but it's always the most fucked up couple, you know, who do like, the big. It's the true thing isn't the big Instagram paragraphs for Valentine's Day. And you're like, it always is.

[Jamie Laing]

I think I've done that before, though. But no, you.

[Olivia Atwood]

You two don't go, like, you don't go, yeah, go and give it to me. Do you know what I mean? You don't go overboard. It's like, yeah, you're quite like, you're quite soppy in your older age, Jamie.

[Jamie Laing]

I'm soppy, but Sophie's not Sophie. Sophie's literally like, Sophie gives a kiss. Yeah. Sophie's like, Sophie, like, for my birthday, she's like, oh, fuck. She puts like a.

[Olivia Atwood]

With love.

[Jamie Laing]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Olivia Atwood]

So one of you has to be like.

[Jamie Laing]

But do you know what's amazing, right? Is my relationship with Sophie was this. Is that I think because I'm a child of divorce, whatever, all those different things. I think I had a vision of a relationship that it has to be roses. Otherwise it's going movies outside and candles and outside. You know what I mean?

[Olivia Atwood]

You were thinking like a backdance cinema.

[Jamie Laing]

Yeah, Backdance cinema thing. I see people doing it.

[Advertisement/Voiceover]

Right.

[Jamie Laing]

Or like, have dinners and we have to, like, wake up in the morning and music has to play and Sophie has come. We have to start dancing and then we start making out. Like, I don't know, like that shit. No, no, it happens. And because you have a blueprint of that's what you think existence is. When that's not happening, you feel like is our relationship.

[Olivia Atwood]

Right.

[Jamie Laing]

But actually the best kind of relationship is the ones which are kind of quiet and normal and just not boring at all. But you're just.

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You're.

[Jamie Laing]

You're living with each other in kind of just calm.

[Olivia Atwood]

Yeah. And just like. Like, you're just like in a synchronized calm. That doesn't. Also with adhd. We talked a lot about adhd. If people don't have ADHD watching this. But shut the fuck up. It's like your whole person. That's why I try not to talk about ADHD anxiety. Because I'm like, everyone's Having that as their thing.

[Advertisement/Voiceover]

Right.

[Olivia Atwood]

I need a new thing. I need a new ism. Because I'm like, I don't want to be like everyone else, but anyway, we crave dopamine and you get it from like new relationships. You also get it from arguments. You get it from really extremes. So sometimes I find myself. Yeah. Like in the quiet a bit. Like, oh, like, should we be like. Yeah, like you crave passion and you can have passion but like, you say it's not sustainable.

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So.

[Jamie Laing]

Okay, so people say that you. Everyone has different personalities when they're in different situations. So when Olivia Atwood is at home.

[Olivia Atwood]

Yeah.

[Jamie Laing]

What kind of personality are you when you're by yourself, sitting with your dogs, just at home? What do you like?

[Olivia Atwood]

So I'm completely. I like to be alone. I'd say I'm, Yeah, I'm like, introverted is the wrong word, but I'm a extroverted introvert. So I like to be around people and I'm slightly. What's the word? When you. Performative.

[Jamie Laing]

Yeah. You're performative.

[Olivia Atwood]

Yeah. And I'm social, but it drains me very quickly.

[Jamie Laing]

Does it?

[Olivia Atwood]

And then to refill. I like to be alone, I like to be silent and I feel like I give a lot of my energy and my light to this job. And then I, When I'm alone, that's how I refill. So I can't refill my cup with people. Okay, so for me, if I'm flying a long distance flight to la, right?

[Jamie Laing]

Yeah.

[Olivia Atwood]

And then someone from my. You're going to know now. Someone from my production company goes, oh, my God, I managed to get on your flight and I'm going to sit by you. I'd be like, off, Fuck off. No, no, I was going to have 12 hours alone. God. And they think they've like done a really nice thing. So you're not alone, you have to fly alone to la. And I'm like, I looking forward to flying alone to LA all month, please. So that's the example. Whereas most people would hate the idea of a long term, like long distance flight alone. And when I go away with my, my team and we shoot TV shows, they know me now of like, they will have team dinner every night and I'll know. Some nights I will. Some nights I'll get to the end of filming and I'll go, no, I need to eat like room service alone.

[Jamie Laing]

Because you just need to reach.

[Olivia Atwood]

And now I need to recharge.

[Jamie Laing]

But have you always been like this?

[Olivia Atwood]

If I, I think the. I'VE always been, like, if I didn't know it, and I think so since I've known it, I've become a lot more in control of my own life, like, my own happiness. I think that I spent a lot of years actually being afraid to be alone. So I used to try to not be alone at any cost. I'm not sure where it came from. It's something I still can't really figure out, but I didn't want to ever be alone. I mean, like, alone in the house, like, I'd have a friend sleepover, or, like, always had a boyfriend. Yeah. Very deep fear of. Yeah. My own company, which actually was something that took me quite a few years to work through.

[Jamie Laing]

Because your mind was loud.

[Olivia Atwood]

Mine was loud. I was like, kind of like a. Like a scared human, I guess. Like, in life, I was, like, you know, like, chronically anxious, like, in my 20s, my late teens. I don't know if it was like, I don't know what. I actually don't know where it. I still don't know where it fully came from, but I was just terrified to be with my own thoughts or my own company. And actually, I think that one of the most powerful things that you can harness in this life is to be comfortable with yourself, because that's the only person that was there at the beginning. You'll be there at the end. And I think being able to travel alone, eat a restaurant alone, do things alone comfortably, though, not like, in a state of panic or is just, oh, my God. It's a freedom that, like, that's one of the most valuable things that I put effort into working on. And now I love it. I almost love it too much.

[Jamie Laing]

Was there a moment when you suddenly were like, hang on, I don't like my own company. When you were younger, or was it like, a gradual thing?

[Olivia Atwood]

I think I was so, like. I think I spent so many years, like, locking myself in kind of really unhappy relationships in my late teens, 20s, that I. The idea of being alone was so much more terrifying than not just being with someone. So I went. I overlapped relationships constantly. They kind of. Kind of rolled from one to the other because I always wanted to make sure that I was never what I felt like was alone. But actually, when you're in an unhappy relationship, you are very. You're more. It's the loneliest place to be when you're with someone that, you know, you don't. You don't like each other on, like, a friendship level. Like, it's like, that is so Lonely. Yeah, But I think that. Yeah, I think that it. I kidded myself by thinking that. That I was cheating the system. And actually, once I became comfortable with my own company, then relationships get better automatically because, you know, the alternative is not that terrifying.

[Jamie Laing]

It's funny. I think a lot of people relate to that. You know, I look back at my younger. I do this weird thing I like, at the end of every year, right? I like. I like to fall, like, once in my life, like, sit in silence, and it lasts for about five minutes. And then, like, okay, but I sit in silence and I kind of like write what happened last year and, like, what I want to do next year. And I just sort of refresh myself, right? And I've been doing that thing where you sort of look back at your younger self a little bit and, like, understanding what. Like what I was doing when I was younger, how I changed things. Mine wasn't a fear of being alone. It was the fear that I probably wasn't enough. So I had to be in a relationship in order to make myself feel fulfilled in some sort of way. And that, like me, I was rolling from relationship to relationship and just not being happy and being unhappy in yourself in an unhappy relationship is kind of the worst combination. It's really, really tough.

[Olivia Atwood]

And also, when you're feeling low about yourself. Yeah. You don't attract the right kind of person. And that, like, the foundation for any relationship, whether it's friendships, family, they all get off to a bad start because you are not in a good place personally. So what's the foundation for?

[Jamie Laing]

Did you understand you were in a toxic relationship, though?

[Olivia Atwood]

I mean, I've had the full spectrum. Really.

[Jamie Laing]

Get out of here.

[Olivia Atwood]

Yeah, Like, I really like the real who's who of human garbage. But also, I'll say this as well, kind of like garbage myself as well, a little bit. You know, I wasn't innocent in this. I like that I wasn't turning up like, you know, Cinderella. Like, I was kind of a little bit trashy as well. So it was like I was on obviously attracting. So I was the trash bag, and there was many rats and they all wanted a bit of action, like this one.

[Jamie Laing]

And you were like, come on, get on.

[Olivia Atwood]

Let's come on. Like, I was like, who's next? I was like, I don't want to be alone.

[Jamie Laing]

Let's do this bag. Let's go get in here. But just wait by that.

[Olivia Atwood]

Like, what, what?

[Jamie Laing]

Like, I had.

[Olivia Atwood]

I mean, I had a real mixture of. Yeah, I mean, I definitely dated some narcissists didn't know it. Like, I think, I think a lot of people said, you're younger. We, we understand so much more about psychology and human behavior. Oh, my. You know, like, thinking about how we grew up, I mean, I, I don't need to tell this story in depth, but the whole ADHD being a female thing. My parents had me in front of child psychologists when I was like 12, and I'd eaten like my fourth pencil that week. And they're going, yeah, but she's a girl. And she's very, you know, she's very clean and she, you know, her room is very. She can't be adhd. My mom's like, are you sure? Because I literally caught her halfway up scaffolding, like the other day in our house being renovated. I was like a spider monkey, just like hanging. Do you know what I mean? So our understanding has evolved so quickly. So. As if we were going to spot narcissism in our 20s. Of course, I had definitely some narcissistic boyfriends. I dated men that I think don't like women. And I don't mean that in the sexual sense. As in, like, do you actually like women? Do you like what they bring to society? Do you enjoy their company? You might be sexually attracted to them, but do you like them? That has a big effect is dating someone who doesn't like women.

[Jamie Laing]

And explain that to me, because from, from a guy point of view, what does it feel like if you're, if you're in a relationship as a woman with someone? You know this. A man doesn't really like women. How are they?

[Olivia Atwood]

I see it like, it's like misogyny. It's like intern. Whether it's internalized or it's vocalized, it's like a very, very reactive towards women versus men. So I think you like. So they got cut up by a woman in a car. Be like that idiot women, they just, it just unleashes. Whereas, like, if a guy cut them up, it might be different. Yeah. And you start to realize it's like some men don't have good relationship, like a good feelings. We know this like a society. Look at the. Yeah, I don't want to use the Andrew Tate name, but it's like, you know, look at. There they are. Harvest of people that don't, for whatever reason, whether it's mother wounds or whatever, they don't like women. So I think if you end up dating someone like that, it can be very conflicting because, yeah, they love you and they like you, but they don't actually like your.

[Jamie Laing]

No, no, no.

[Olivia Atwood]

It's a very real thing.

[Jamie Laing]

It's a real thing and it's a really interesting topic.

[Olivia Atwood]

Right.

[Jamie Laing]

Because there's like a lot. There's a lot of like, chatter as well, especially around, I would say, like, male podcasts.

[Olivia Atwood]

Yeah.

[Jamie Laing]

I struggle to, like, get into the weeds of it and understand it.

[Advertisement/Voiceover]

Right.

[Jamie Laing]

In terms of like, is it because certain individuals hate women or is it because they feel that, like, men have been recently suppressed? I'm just trying to get.

[Olivia Atwood]

No, I'm with you and you. I know, I know from watching your podcast, being around you, I know that you are someone that likes women like my hus likes women. So when I talk to him about this as well, he kind of draws a blank because he's almost like, what do you mean? I'm like, you don't get it because you don't have those feelings towards women. Like, you can look at a video of like an Andrew T. And go, how ridiculous. Scroll. Do you know what I mean? You're not, you're not like.

[Jamie Laing]

I think so I need you to zoom in for me. So you expect. That's what I find.

[Olivia Atwood]

I don't want to talk about, you know, talk on topics I'm unqualified for. This is just my.

[Jamie Laing]

But it's your take. I'm not saying qualified.

[Olivia Atwood]

Yeah, it's like my. I think that. I think when people feel ostracized or they feel shortchanged, they look to blame. I also think that's happening also Sticking my neck out. I think it's happening on the other side a little bit too. It can happen. I think there can be women that inherently might not like men because of what their experiences with men, of course, have tainted their feelings towards men. I think if you feel ostracized in society and you feel rejected, you're automatically knee jerk. Is you. It's not. It's to blame someone. Helps complete the circle, doesn't it?

[Jamie Laing]

No.

[Olivia Atwood]

So then people get sucked into extreme sides because they can take sanctity and being part of like a group think bias that makes them feel part of something.

[Jamie Laing]

I completely. I think society is in a bad place potentially. And I look, I'm also not. I'm a big believer in like optimism. Right. So like, I'm like, I think that life is actually pretty great, but what happens is that press, social media, news pushes. Yeah. And it pushes the negative narrative because that's what sells more.

[Olivia Atwood]

Right.

[Jamie Laing]

So we see it more.

[Olivia Atwood]

I think that people just feel lonelier than ever. So I think that media and I think, you know, podcasting and places where basically community is. Well, it's fake community, isn't it? Cause it's like it doesn't exist in reality. It's like people are drawn to extreme thoughts because it makes them feel part of something. And that's. I think people are craving and it's so dangerous. People are craving community and to feel like they belong in something. And so I think that's what, you know, why problematic speakers, podcasters, they're thriving because people are so lonely. Like, we're still living, like, so I think so, you know, like work, working from home culture. And there's so many people spend so many hours aligned online at home alone. Like when I see in my comments and someone writes like, God, what an awful dress. And then like 10 more people joining underneath, I think you know what, you needed that. And actually you've all got each other now. And I'm not going to delete it. I'm not going to censor you because you all needed to be part of something today and you are. You are together, hating on my dress. And actually that's my bit for society. And I'm gonna let you thrive. I'm gonna let you go. I'm not going to block you because you need this and I get that. I do things that I need that aren't right. I like a drunken cig. I needed that. You get to troll me as a community. Please don't say that. I don't do anything for society.

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[Olivia Atwood]

On our mobile POS systems took took too long. Basically a staring contest where everyone loses it's crazy what people say during an awkward silence. Now transactions are done before the silence takes hold. That means I can focus on the task at hand and make an extra sailor too. Sometimes I do miss the bonding time sometimes.

[Jamie Laing]

AT T business, wireless connecting changes everything. What is your relationship like with yourself now, would you say? Truthfully?

[Olivia Atwood]

Good.

[Jamie Laing]

Okay.

[Olivia Atwood]

It's good.

[Jamie Laing]

Okay.

[Olivia Atwood]

If you could give myself a break, give me.

[Jamie Laing]

Out of 10 out of 10, what do you think it is?

[Olivia Atwood]

I'd say like a seven.

[Jamie Laing]

Okay.

[Olivia Atwood]

Yeah. I think that I'm. I'm in the best place I ever have been in my entire life, like from birth, genuinely. I had a very happy childhood, but I was a very anxious child. It's that typical thing for no apparent reason, like, had a happy home life, had very privileged, had everything a child couldn't even want. But I was a very worried, anxious child. So I genuinely would say this is the happiest place I've been in my entire life. But I give myself. I know everyone says this, but I give myself a really hard time. I'd say, like, I kind of, like, I can be a bit of a martyr. Like, I get a kick out of.

[Jamie Laing]

Almost like giving yourself a hard time.

[Olivia Atwood]

Yeah. Like, I'll look at a schedule, like a day, and it's like, completely inhumane. And I'll be like, no, I shouldn't do that. I shouldn't do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. And then I'm like, I'm going to go. I'm not going to. I'm going to get a massive kick out of being able to do what, like 10 people told me, you can't do that all in one day. And then I'll. I'll drag myself to my hotel room at like 10pm, like, weeping, having not eaten. I'm like, I did it in the mirror. Like, I did it. Everybody wants this life. So things like that I know I need to work on a little bit because I don't want to burn out. I don't, like, ruin everything I've worked for by, like, just being so.

[Jamie Laing]

Being so hard on yourself.

[Olivia Atwood]

Right.

[Jamie Laing]

But that anxiety thing I just want to dive into because that's when you're in the thick of anxiety. Like someone listening right now who's in the thick of an anxious state. Right. It's kind of quite scary because you, you are so kind of. It's so covering you in so many ways, so consuming that you can't really see a way out. And because you can't see a way out. You then fear for your future. You probably think you're never going to get a job. You probably think you're never going to hold down a relationship. Yeah, you think that. How are your, your friends going to stay with you?

[Advertisement/Voiceover]

Right?

[Jamie Laing]

You, you, you think all these kind of like catastrophic things. And you're sort of a prime example of someone who has obviously dealt with a huge amount of anxiety and also kind of come round to understanding and accepting and then coming out some sort of the other side.

[Olivia Atwood]

Right.

[Jamie Laing]

And I suppose my question to you is, how did you get to a place yourself where you were more accepting of yourself and understanding that okay, anxiety is, it's just anxiety and it's kind of okay to deal with.

[Olivia Atwood]

Do you know what? For me, because I've done therapy and I've done like, yeah, I've done therapy. I'd done life coach stuff. Everyone's different. Some people like to sit and talk about feelings and unpack, like childhood memories. And I did a bit of that and I just didn't feel like it was helping me. If anything, I felt like it was making me feel more anxious because it wasn't childhood. I was kind of like I was opening more Pandora's boxes and it wasn't helping me on the day to day with the anxiety I was facing. And actually what I found is me personally and cognitive therapy is quite good like this. It's like practical, actual, useful methods of like one I love. Like, so if I'm talking. So my life coach is also. He's a psychiatrist as well. If he talks like science to me, like if he's like, okay, so when you do this, your brain is like releasing this chemical because I love to kind of imagine the actual mechanics behind it. And that's a lot more how I learned to understand myself. So once I start to understand things, like, it sounds so obvious, but it's like, you know, overdoing caffeine intake, drinking multiple nights a week, not exercising, not eating the right way, diet, all the things that were like, I'm actively working against myself. But they say it seems so obvious. But once I started to have like actual usable methods of like breathing properly, like once, like, you know, because I used to have panic attacks when I was at school.

[Jamie Laing]

Cliff, I didn't realize this about you.

[Olivia Atwood]

Yeah, I don't. I've never, you know, I've never actually really spoke about it like in any, in this kind of detail ever.

[Jamie Laing]

And you were having them at school?

[Olivia Atwood]

Yeah.

[Jamie Laing]

That's so young.

[Olivia Atwood]

So Young and. And they came, like, out of the well, again, nothing's out of the blue, but to out of the blue. And they were kind of in a classroom. Gosh, I must have been like the first one. Like 12 or 13 in a classroom. Like, what a complete disassociation. Like, I was sitting there one minute, I kind of felt like I didn't really know where I was. Like, hands just literally dripping in sweat, kind of shallow breathing. And you know what? They literally. I went to school nurse, and for a couple of weeks they were investigating all kinds of things that it could be. Because again, at that time when we were at school, it wasn't like, okay, this is textbook pancake attack. It was like, is she having an allergy to something? Is she hypoglycemic? They were looking at all the different possibilities of what it could have been because it was so physical. And then because I didn't like feeling out of being. Having a panic attack. You're kind of losing control. And then I was panicking. I was losing control. So I'm panicking more than I'm crying. And school nurse going, what's the matter, Olivia? Like, I couldn't verbalize what was the matter because I didn't know how to explain what I was feeling. And to be honest, getting the ADHD diagnosis. Yeah. Do you know what it was? It's like, I got that officially when I was around 21 years old and my anxiety was impacting me so much that I went to see someone who specialized in adolescent anxiety depression. I was with her for about an hour and I was like thinking, just give me a cure for this. And at the end of the hour, she was like, has anyone ever talked to you about adhd? And I just had this memory of, like, as a kid, it being discussed, like, you know. Cause I used to do impulsive things at school and it kind of. But no one had ever said, yes, she has it. It.

[Jamie Laing]

But it had locked into your brain.

[Olivia Atwood]

I was like, you know what? That's so weird you said that, but I would check with my mum, but I'm sure this was flow. She said, you to me are just textbook adhd. So it's like a chicken and egg thing. She's like, your. You are. Your brain is running like 10 million computer tabs at once. You're, you know, overstimulating yourself with, you know, caffeine. You're not sleeping properly. You're doing everything to make it worse. And then what's happening is your body is. The anxiety is coming as, like, a warning sign that you're in overdrive. And so once I understood that, I could work back to help myself. So that's how I kind of got control of it.

[Jamie Laing]

Do you know, it's so interesting. I know exactly what you mean, though, because when your brain is wearing on all these cylinders, right. And you don't really understand what's going on, you basically just try and find certain ways to try and suppress it. Maybe that's. Maybe it's alcohol, maybe it's coffee. Maybe it's something like that. Anything to try and suppress those feelings.

[Olivia Atwood]

And it's also, when you have adhd, I try to send this, like, to people that don't have it. You'll probably get it. They have very different effects on us.

[Jamie Laing]

Yeah.

[Olivia Atwood]

So actually, coffee sometimes can, like, level, like, calm me down. Yeah. Because, like, you know, caffeine, stimulant. So certain things that you. They like alcohol. It makes me loopy, hyper. So I can't understand when people go, I, you know, I got drunk and then I was crying. I've never been anything but elated when I'm drunk. Like, I am the. Nobody's, like, wants to go out of me because I am the best time. Like, from one glass of wine, I'm literally like, you know, what's the motive? I'm literally. I'm so happy and I'm so silly. And it. And it's. It's stimulant. It's like. It's the thing. You know, people go, oh, I have a glass of red wine to go to bed. I have a glass of red wine. I'm trying to redecorate the house at, like, 1am that's insane to me. You'll go, oh, I just stayed on a Saturday night and drank a bottle of wine. I'm trying to come out the window and go to a club. Like, Brad's gonna have to have put bolts on soon. Like, I am just. I could not imagine. If I drink on a flight, I'm trying to get in the cockpit. I swear to God, like, I don't drink on flights anymore, ever. Cause I can. I am a menace. That plane is getting hard landed in, like, Minneapolis, where I'm like, where are you going?

[Jamie Laing]

I love that tweet. That's the one you went for. You were thinking somewhere in Europe and then you went straight to Manila.

[Olivia Atwood]

I'm trying to think of middle America. We're on our way to, like, the West Coast. They're like, we gotta get this bitch off. She sucked back A whole bottle of Pinot Grigio.

[Jamie Laing]

I know what you mean, though. It lights up my brain like a Christmas tree. Yeah, but that's bad because then that leads to also addiction.

[Olivia Atwood]

And that's why people with ADHD are more susceptible to addiction, because everything feels different and it feels, you know, so. Yeah, so I think when I was learning about this and then what to have when you know how to understand myself.

[Jamie Laing]

But then you have to. Then that means what you have to do is you have to be quite strict with yourself or in some sort of way. Right. Like, okay, caffeine, alcohol, whatever that is. But then it's kind of productive because someone with ADHD is not really good at doing that because we're quite kind of.

[Olivia Atwood]

Yeah, I mean, do you know what I've always been, is like a very disciplined person.

[Jamie Laing]

Right. Okay.

[Olivia Atwood]

But I. What I was doing was I didn't know how to direct my discipline because, you know, I'm kind of. This is why, I guess I was hard to diagnose. I am a little bit of a. Like a contradiction.

[Jamie Laing]

A contradiction. Okay.

[Olivia Atwood]

Yeah, because. And this is why, I guess sometimes I have add, but I'm super tidy, I'm super organized, I'm very disciplined.

[Jamie Laing]

But that's control.

[Olivia Atwood]

It's control. It doesn't show up in everyone, but in females it does more. And I'm the oldest, I'm the first daughter, I'm the first granddaughter. I came out as like, manager. Like, I looked at my parents, I was like, you've not done this before. Let me run this. You sit down. I've got this. Show me the family accounts. I've got all fixes. I've been trying to manage everything and everyone since the day I was born. So I just had to learn how to direct that discipline and actually, like, focus in on. On the right things.

[Jamie Laing]

Are your parents together?

[Olivia Atwood]

Yeah, they are. Yeah. I never know who I feel more sorry for. It's different every. Sometimes I'm like, dad, have you done this? And other days I'm like, mum, have it. Because they're 35 years married.

[Jamie Laing]

That's amazing.

[Olivia Atwood]

I know.

[Jamie Laing]

That's an amazing.

[Olivia Atwood]

Super rare, isn't it?

[Jamie Laing]

Yeah, very rare. And also the more I look into things and it's like, I'm definitely not a therapist anyway, but the more look in things. I truly believe if a daughter, typically a daughter, sees love from parents, then you know how to be loved. Therefore, you have a huge amount of respect for yourself and won't let other people walk all over you.

[Olivia Atwood]

So true. But interestingly, some, there's a little like crack that can happen that kind of slips through. And this is what I. I've now looked back on my 20s and like, how the did that happen? Because my dad, I've never heard him raise his voice at me. My sister, my mum, I think I can count on one hand Tam Chan, he's sworn like. And we will test that man to the limits of any human being. You know, like, he's unbelievable. When I think back now. Cause now I very much think of like, why would I settle for anything less. I've never heard my dad talk negatively about my mum ever. And my mum can like, be. She can be in the wrong. And like, me and my sister would come to my dad and be like, this bitch is crazy. And he'd be like, you will not you even if. I know, I know you agree with us. I know. But he would never, never fault on his loyalty to my mum. So I thought, how has this been my example of a man? And yet I've let so many rat bags like slip in the back door. And I think, whoa, that. Whoa, sorry.

[Jamie Laing]

Don't worry. Each their own, baby. Here we go.

[Olivia Atwood]

Anyway, I think almost when you haven't. I didn't almost know that men could be bad. Bad because you journeyed didn't know they could be. So I almost was pervasive.

[Jamie Laing]

Wow, that would have been a shock.

[Olivia Atwood]

Yeah. I was always presented with awful behavior and I was a bit like. I guess I was a bit blindsided by it and I kind of. I didn't know kind of how to navigate it. Which is like you said, when you have a really good example that. And now as an adult woman, it is very much. I look at my dad and think I. That is, I won't settle for anything less. But as a young teen and also I was rebelling against them and I wanted everything that felt dangerous and edgy and yeah, I think I didn't know how to spot it.

[Jamie Laing]

Getting filthy rich, are you?

[Olivia Atwood]

Yeah, you are. Look at this office. Come on.

[Jamie Laing]

Man. Like, you must be like, you must be so proud of yourself because you've nailed it, man. You've killed it. Like, you must, you do. You must think, yeah, yeah, this is.

[Olivia Atwood]

Thank you, that's very kind.

[Jamie Laing]

And you've got the four series of. Of getting for the rituals is amazing.

[Olivia Atwood]

Do you know what I'm like? I find, you know, it's just like so un English and un female to like give yourself flowers. I just don't like it. But of course I'm proud. Of course I am proud. And I look at the commissions that we've had the last two or three years, and I'm like, it blows my mind. And I guess that's why I, you know, I give myself, you know, I don't give myself a break. Cause I'm like, how is this my fucking life? Like, how have I wangled this? I'm so protective of it. I'm so obsessed by it. But obviously it's not just me. It's a fucking fantastic team of producers, production team, edit team, who make me look like I know what I'm doing.

[Jamie Laing]

What's the new series all about?

[Olivia Atwood]

We're back in on new subjects. Like, we've got six new subjects. We're doing a celebrity special. So I look at the celebrities that have started only fans. I've got Katie Price, Kerry Katona and Lauren Goodyear. I've got all the people that we've seen, all the little clip bits about them doing OnlyFans and what they do on them, but no one really knows. And they're telling me really, like the truth. Showing what they earn, what they post, why they do it. So that's fascinating. And it's quite different to any of the other episodes we've done. We went to Vegas. We did a Vegas deep dive on the whole sex economy, which was. I have to say, it's one of my favorite episodes. It's so good because it's Vegas. It's like strip clubs, escorting. It's everything that behind the curtain, like a real look at it.

[Jamie Laing]

What is your take on OnlyFans?

[Olivia Atwood]

I think that. That society wants women sexualized, but when they elect and do it themselves, we don't like it. We like doing it to women. We don't like women doing it for themselves and we don't like women having control in that area. However, I think the age limit should be increased. I think it should be like 25.

[Jamie Laing]

What is it currently?

[Olivia Atwood]

Do we think 18? I think that it has its place and I think it's been amazing for sex workers and I think it's been amazing for porn stars and things like that. Yeah, it's giving people, like, it's given them, you know, control over their own career and their own limits. However, I do think it's being glamorized for young women as a great alternative to a, you know, quote unquote normal job. And I think that is a little bit scary.

[Jamie Laing]

I agree with everything you said. And I think the scary maybe thing about it is that we Live in a world where success is money and driving Lamborghinis. And how do we get to that quickly? And the quickest route to that is probably doing well. Going out and selling a product is much harder than just selling yourself. Right. And if you can sell yourself in certain ways, especially if you are amazingly attractive or whatever it is, it's, you know, and you can. Yeah, it's a. I'm just not. I don't know where I'm at with it.

[Olivia Atwood]

I know I've got. When I filmed this show, it's like the whole, like, ethos of the show is coming from a point of like, no judgment and no bias and like. And I, and I want to give these women a chance to, you know, to celebrate them. And what they, you know, some of the things that people have achieved on these platforms is quite literally mind blowing. But also it's a very fine line of not like, endorsing it and like, glamorizing it. Because I think that there are, of course, downsides. I also think we need to look more at, like, why it's so successful is because the men predominantly are consuming it on such a massive scale.

[Jamie Laing]

It's crazy.

[Olivia Atwood]

I was talking about that.

[Jamie Laing]

I think porn is a really negative thing for young men. I think the endorphins that are sitting them, I think the fact that they are, you know, so addictive.

[Olivia Atwood]

It's also my first, like, you know, I used to. Me and my friends, like, you know, on a desktop computer and, you know, like, terrified for our life. We, like, sex, educated ourselves through porn as well. Because also, like, I grew up, like, looking at porn in that way of, like, thinking that sex was just something for men. So I for years thought that it didn't clock to me till I was about, like, in my early 20s. I was like, wait, is this for both of us? I am, fuck you gatekeeping this the whole time. I'm meant to enjoy this.

[Jamie Laing]

No, I think also the other thing that you, that you talk about is plastic surgery, which is.

[Olivia Atwood]

Love it.

[Jamie Laing]

But you're amazing because you also. I love the fact that you're. You're kind of open with it, right?

[Advertisement/Voiceover]

You.

[Jamie Laing]

You talk about this in you as a sort of documentary maker. You're. You're seeing all these things happen, but also talking from like an own personal point of view, which is kind of great, right? You're saying, you know, this is what I have done or would do or whatever it is.

[Olivia Atwood]

I'm really proud of that series as well, because I feel like that there were There are, there's a lot of cosmetic surgery series out there, but a lot of them come from quite like a, you know, it's botched or it's like one end of the scale.

[Jamie Laing]

Got it.

[Olivia Atwood]

Yeah. But like I wanted something to give like a real cross section of the market as it stands. Like good, bad, ugly, dangerous, like real broad spectrum, which is not easy to do like in 50 minutes. But it's like there's so much out there and in the UK especially it's like the Wild West. Like the regulations are slowly coming in now in areas, but it's been very unregulated for a long time and there's a lot of danger there. There's, there's not enough information. And I feel like, you know, I had a really positive reaction to Price Perfection the first two series and people, you know, going to have either they do more research or they cancel the surgery or they canceled an injector appointment because they watched the show and it just opened past, I think something they don't occur to people unless you kind of like show it to them. Like, this is what could go wrong. You need to go into these things like really switched on.

[Jamie Laing]

Do you think there's potentially an issue where we're striving towards perfection?

[Olivia Atwood]

So the whole sort of the Price of Perfection name is like that tongue in cheek, like thread that goes through the whole series that, yeah, ultimately a lot of people are pursuing perfection, which one doesn't exist. So you're kind of trying to reach something constant. You can't get it because there's no such thing. And it's in the eye of the beholder, isn't it? So everyone's idea of perfect is different. So it's not like a metric that is like level. It just moves depending on who you are. So also it's like what you're striving for doesn't exist because you might, this group of people here might go, oh my God, you're perfect now. You know, your, your boobs, your bum, everything. But this group, you were here going to go, no, it's not. And also it's only women that predominantly are controlled by this metric of perfection and trying to, trying to obtain it. And it's a, it is the, is a very easy way to control and guilt women predominantly. And you, you have to free yourself from the trappings of it as best you can. Which is super hard in this, you know, image based society. I'm growing up millennial. I have my own standards of make believe that I hold Myself to. But you have to try and free yourself as much as you can.

[Jamie Laing]

Has your kind of opinion on plastic surgery changed since you're doing this?

[Olivia Atwood]

No, I think. I think. I think it's reinforced things that I knew. There's a gap in a surgery and injectables. It's like a. It's quite a misogynistic thing, right, that we. We kind of. We applaud perfection if it's undetectable, that work's been done. But we scoff and we kind of turn our nose up at people who have detectable signs of intervention. And often that is a. An economic gap. If you think about the kind of work and kind of money you have, what would kind of define the results you have? Not always, but often. And then society treats people differently, depending on how they show up aesthetically. But quite often, the same amount of work might have been done. You just can't tell. So I think it's another way of belittling people.

[Jamie Laing]

Did you. When you did Love island, you first on tv, right? Even though you were modeling before did that. When I remember when I first started doing tv, it's suddenly I saw every angle that I looked like, and it made me feel suddenly insecure about myself. It was like I'd eaten the apple and suddenly become aware of, like, what I look like.

[Olivia Atwood]

Do you know what? For me, I had a really good start in Love island, right? In terms of that. Because I came from a modeling commercial. Modeling. Bikini pageant background. Like, when I did bikini, like, commercial modeling, like, you'd stand up with, like, 10 girls in a bikini. Look at the front, to the side, and they'd be right. And they like, her torso's too long. So I was. My. My skin was so thick. So.

[Jamie Laing]

So you were fine.

[Olivia Atwood]

It was fine. I look at myself now and love her and think, hell, put a brush through your hair. Like, you look like you stink. I was just so ungroomed. I just looked scruffy. We all did bag hanging out the mouth. Like, you know, like, just. We were all so messy and dirty.

[Jamie Laing]

So great, though.

[Olivia Atwood]

Yeah. So I.

[Jamie Laing]

So it's still the most watched series ever. Series ever.

[Olivia Atwood]

In the world. World.

[Jamie Laing]

In. In the world. It was 3 million.

[Olivia Atwood]

Yeah.

[Jamie Laing]

On the night. Plus 3. Another 3 million overnights or something crazy. Like.

[Olivia Atwood]

But yeah, I. In terms of that. In terms of. I. I was very thick. I had think, you know, if you've come from, like, working in an office and then that you're in a bikini on television and people talk about your figure. Oh, My God, I can't even imagine what a horrendous, hard launch that is into scrutiny, but I think I was born in scrutiny.

[Jamie Laing]

So you were okay. Cause we chatted to Georgia Harrison, right?

[Olivia Atwood]

Loved you.

[Jamie Laing]

Oh, man, she's the best. She said you had to wear shorts in the Love island because you were stung by a jellyfish.

[Olivia Atwood]

Me? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Going in on my crotch.

[Jamie Laing]

So what happened?

[Olivia Atwood]

So we're in lockdown for. Oh, God. I was in lockdown for, like, two weeks. That poor girl. I don't know if she even works in telly anymore. Cause you have a chaperone.

[Jamie Laing]

This is like a chaperone producer. I thought you meant. Okay, fine. Yeah.

[Olivia Atwood]

So she's a chaperone. So she's like a junior, like, producer. Or maybe she's a researcher. But some poor unwitting soul got paired with me. So she's in a villa with me for two weeks, quite an engaged animal. And then you just. All you have to do is just kind of, you know, go to the beach, hang out. And then, like, they call you, you know, you do photo shoots and you do, like, pre psych and all the preamble before that, you go into the show, but it's a longer. Oh, my. It's a long old stint. And it's like, you know, even the day they take the telly away, because in case, you see, it's just. Yeah, it's tough everything. And I don't know. I am a sea baby, so I don't know why I hadn't been in the sea before. But the last day before I was about to go in the villa, I thought, I've not swam in the sea the, like, last two weeks. I'm going to swim in the sea today. Anyway, as I'm going into the water, it's really. I think, do you know what it was? I think it's because there was not many people in the sea. And we know why in a minute. So I'm like, oh, do you know what? I'm gonna go for it. Going for a swim. Lifeguard's shouting at me. I'm thinking, babe, take a number. I'm going to Love island tomorrow. He's talking in Spanish. I'm just ignoring him. What he's trying to say to me is, don't go water. The jellyfish are, like, mating. When I say, I waded into, like, here, and anywhere your eye could see, there was a jellyfish one. I'm not joking. This little pervert jellyfish like, attacked my vagina so it like stung me literally on my nunny bone. But its tentacles lashed down the inside of my leg. So could you imagine from my bikini line does these long red strips of its tentacle where it's. I'm screaming blue murder C words coming out.

[Jamie Laing]

I'm on the beach, the lifeguards pee on you.

[Olivia Atwood]

He's like, I can help you ready? He points to a sign. I fuck you not. It's about as big as that in Spanish and it has a little jellyfish with a crossing that don't swim. I was like, that's your fault. Anyway, run up to the pharmacy, get a lotion. But anyway, overnight it raised. So when everyone walks in bikini, I Mike Spencer, who's one execs of Loveline, he came to my little like isolation thing, had the bikini on. It just looked like I had aggressive herpes outbreak. And he was like, we've got to do something about this. And I was like, what do I do? And he was like, short denim shorts, like, let's just cover the, the herpe looking thing, you know and yeah, so denim shorts fucking hurt though. Oh my God. I saw Jesus. Like it really it hur. Oh my God.

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[Jamie Laing]

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[Olivia Atwood]

The IRS said I filed my return, but I haven't.

[Jamie Laing]

One in four tax paying Americans has paid the price of identity fraud.

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What do I do?

[Jamie Laing]

My refund though.

[Olivia Atwood]

I'm freaking out.

[Jamie Laing]

Don't worry, I can fix this. LifeLock fixes identity theft guaranteed and gets.

[Olivia Atwood]

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I'm so relieved. Received no problem.

[Jamie Laing]

I'll be with you every step of the way.

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One in four was a fraud.

[Jamie Laing]

Paying American.

[Olivia Atwood]

Not anymore. Save up to 40 your first year.

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Visit lifelock.com Special offer terms apply.

[Jamie Laing]

If you're the best man. Honestly, I want everyone to go listen to your podcast. It's so good. Honestly, it's so good. And you get great guests and you just chat like you have done. Just being honest. And it's. It's brilliant. Brilliant. We like to end the episode with eight questions. You ready?

[Olivia Atwood]

Ready.

[Jamie Laing]

What's the saying or phrase that makes you smile or cheers you up?

[Olivia Atwood]

Don't bring your shit to a piss fight.

[Jamie Laing]

That's actually really good. Yeah, it's very good. Best compliment anyone's ever given you.

[Olivia Atwood]

My resilience.

[Jamie Laing]

What scares you most about yourself?

[Olivia Atwood]

That I won't stop to like. Everything will just go past so quickly. I won't stop to enjoy what I wished for is happening right now, and I'm not taking it in.

[Jamie Laing]

Yeah, you won't stop to smell the flower.

[Olivia Atwood]

Flowers. Boat stocks to my flowers.

[Jamie Laing]

Yeah.

[Olivia Atwood]

I would cut the flowers up, package them and sell them, put my name on them.

[Jamie Laing]

When was the last time you cried?

[Olivia Atwood]

Oh, I saw you cry when you moved house. Yes. That would be the last time. Yeah, because I really don't cry. I find that. I find say goodbye to that home really hard.

[Jamie Laing]

What's something you can't let go of?

[Olivia Atwood]

Don't know. People that buy animals from puppy farms.

[Jamie Laing]

Great answer.

[Olivia Atwood]

Can't let her down that hill. Can't shuffle it.

[Jamie Laing]

What's your guilty pleasure?

[Olivia Atwood]

I love the club, don't I? I love the club. Clubbing's coming back in 2026, guys. Just told you. You heard it here first. I'll see you there.

[Jamie Laing]

What turns you off?

[Olivia Atwood]

Not being, like, seen.

[Jamie Laing]

Ah, great one. What turns you on?

[Olivia Atwood]

Just being broken down. Begging, Laughing, like, having fun.

[Jamie Laing]

What do you like most about yourself?

[Olivia Atwood]

My work ethic. Yeah. And I. And. And I think I'm. And it's been to my own default. I think I'm generous materialistically and emotionally, which I need to. To my own default sometimes. Need to leave and. Default and downfall.

[Jamie Laing]

Yeah. 100% bonus one. Who's your hall pass?

[Olivia Atwood]

Oh, Casper the Ghost. But if I was also younger. Not now. He's like a little boy. That was my crush.

[Jamie Laing]

Casper the Ghost.

[Olivia Atwood]

He's so beautiful. Those big eyes, man. He's gorgeous.

[Jamie Laing]

Liv, we love you. Thank you so much. That was amazing, guys. What an amazing episode. Liv, if you're listening. Listening. Thank you so much for coming on. I loved our conversation. I loved how open Liv is. I mean, so many people in the public eye don't want to be open, but Liv is a prime example. By being open, kind of, you connect someone so much more. I don't know if it surprised you, but it's kind of surprised me how she spent so many years being afraid of being alone and also how she loves her own company. If you saw Liv on tv, you think she's an extrovert, but actually she's very introverted. So many of us actually try to pretend that we're extroverts because we feel like we have to, but actually we're more introverted and being comfortable being an introvert is really powerful. Now if you enjoyed this episode, we have so many other episodes like this which you can go and click on and also let us know in the comments who you love, who you want us to interview next, what you love about the show. We'd love to hear any sort of feedback at all. And of course we're going to be back next week for another episode of of Great Company. Before we had AT&T business wireless coverage, our delivery GPS wasn't the most reliable. Once our driver had to do a 14 point turn to get back on route. A 14 point turn, an influencer even live stream the whole thing.

[Olivia Atwood]

Not good for business.

[Jamie Laing]

Now with AT T Business Wireless routes are updating on the fly and deliveries are on time. And the influencer did get us 53 new followers though. AT&T business Wireless connecting changes everything.