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Perrie Edwards
I need to be careful how I say this. I'm just gonna say it.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
You know, you sang about writers. When you have friend breakups, when the
Perrie Edwards
other person doesn't take any accountability, that boils my blood. I'm not saying she's this fucking monster, but take some accountability for your actions.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Do you think you will rekindle the
Perrie Edwards
friendship ever if I'm being completely transparent? Hey, I'm Perry, and I'm in great company. It's Perry on words.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
I don't want to close my eyes.
Perrie Edwards
I don't want to fall asleep. Cause I miss you, baby.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
And I don't want to miss a thing. Even when I dream of you. The sweetest thing I'll never do. I still miss you. Perry.
Perrie Edwards
Sing it. When you go through heartbreak, it is hellish.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
It's the worst thing in the world.
Perrie Edwards
And then what makes it even worse is I feel like the world was then looking at me, laughing at me.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Wow.
Perrie Edwards
I felt embarrassed. I felt horrified. It was awful.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
How do you stay sane through that?
Perrie Edwards
I didn't.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
You don't?
Perrie Edwards
I had a minty beer or two. I had, like, serious breakdowns. I did.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
You also went through a miscarriage.
Perrie Edwards
We were about 24 weeks when we lost our baby, but we'd named him. And I think having to give birth to a child that you can't take home.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Oh, Perry, I'm sorry.
Perrie Edwards
It's awful. If you're listening to this, you're ready.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
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Perrie Edwards
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Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
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Perrie Edwards
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Perrie Edwards
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Perrie Edwards
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Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Guys, just before we start, I want to let you know that this episode contains discussions about miscarriage and baby loss. Now, please take care whilst listening or watching. If you or someone you know is affected by this, please know that support is available. You can find information and links to helpful resources in the show. Notes hey, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Great Company. Today's guest is Perry Edwards. That is enough said. Okay? Now, before we start, if I can ask you one favor, just hit that subscribe button. It means you can join our community and it means that we can keep making this show better and better for you each week. If you can do that. One thing. Thank you so much. Enjoy this episode of Great Company with Perrie Edwards. Perry, listen, I've just listened to your brand new single. Yes, Passenger Princess. Were you just listening to Upstairs?
Perrie Edwards
Oh, nice. What do you think? You like it?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Okay. I promise you, right? It's unbelievable.
Perrie Edwards
Oh, yay.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
It reminds me of kind of like it's like Avril Lavigne.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Like a rock poppy. It's insane.
Perrie Edwards
Oh, yay. That makes me really happy. Thank you.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
When you make that, when you do a song like that, do you know in your head you're like, this feels good. This feels exciting.
Perrie Edwards
This feels like something? I think so, yeah. And I got that feeling with this song and I wrote it with Nina Nesbit, and we just have such a laugh together. Like, we're taking the mic. Like, the lyrics, I don't want to take out the bins. We were like, can we open a song with this as the first line? Or is it a bit random? It's a bit out there, isn't it? And then my patience is on Manjaro. Like, my patience is wearing thin. Like, I haven't got time for this shit. So that's kind of like we were just bantering and it ended up being a thing. And Now I just love it.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Can you. How do you find a solo career since being in a band for so long and then becoming solo? That's a big shift.
Perrie Edwards
It is a big shift. That's the. I think I've struggled the most with that shift in dynamics.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Explain why.
Perrie Edwards
I think it's like a double edged sword. I keep saying, because you come out when you're a new artist and you're not established yet. Right. And you're trying to figure out your sound, figure out who you are as an artist. It's an art at the end of the day. So you kind of, you have to try everything before you know and before it sticks. Like, look at Sabrina Carpenter. She's been around for years, but only now it's like starting to pop off and people are listening and it's like, but she's been great for ages, but it just takes one thing to stick. Does that make sense?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Totally. 100%.
Perrie Edwards
You can work around like behind the scenes, do your thing. When you come from a big band, like Little Mix was because we were, we were huge. We were successful. We did a lot. People then have the expectation of you coming out of a band that you have to then be great from the get go.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Who has that expectation? Yourself, Your team, your manager?
Perrie Edwards
Always everybody. I think my label probably expected it. I think the fans expected. Like everybody has these expectations of me. Yeah, that is a lot of pressure and I don't do well with pressure like that. And it gets to me and I think if I was a new up and coming artist and I was figuring my, my shit out behind the scenes and then I came out, I'd be less pressured. Yeah, but I don't want people hearing me and be like, oh, that's not what I thought she was going to do when she left the group. Or that's not the kind of route I thought should go down. So it is a lot of pressure. But then you're blessed in a way because you have a fan base already so you can't be.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Yeah, it's a double edged sword, as you said.
Perrie Edwards
It's like you've got to weigh up the pros and the cons. Really?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Yeah. Because you're so right. I think what happened, what you're basically saying is he takes Sabrina Carpenter, people look at the end product and they go, my God, she's big. She's been doing it for so many years. Every artist, every person who's successful has been doing that grind for so long. And so now, because you've had so Much success before. It's like, okay, well, there needs to be success now.
Perrie Edwards
It needs to, like, follow that kind of success. But that's.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
You don't have the others to lean on.
Perrie Edwards
No. And that little mix didn't. Yes, we won X Factor and we were successful, but it didn't happen overnight. It wasn't instant. We had a few dodgy singles or a few things that didn't really work, and then we tried something else, and we were R and B at one point. Then we went really pop, and then we went more, like, regimented salute. Like, yeah, everything was all, like. We tried everything and it worked because people grew with us over time. Whereas I'm coming out now from that and they're like, do something great now. Do it now. Instant. And I'm like, give me a minute. Just let me figure it out.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
I just want to understand what I mean. That's what I mean.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Wow.
Perrie Edwards
I'm like, I just want to figure it out.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
What does that do to you emotionally, mentally? Because that's a hard thing. We're having that much pressure.
Perrie Edwards
It's a lot. It is a lot. And I think, like, I'm a people pleaser as well. I like people to be happy. I want my team to be happy. I want everyone around me to be, like, in this happy little bubble and everything's great and blah, blah, blah, which obviously isn't life really, is it? You've got to take the. What is it? You've got to wear the smart, the
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
rough with the smooth.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah, you've got to take the rough with the smooth. And I think, yeah, I just. I want to please everybody and I want my fans to be pleased. And I think pleasing other people so much, you then start to really lose yourself, I think, and then you can kind of get lost.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
I'm really trying in later life not to be a people pleaser.
Perrie Edwards
Me, too. It's hard, but I'm getting better at it, I think.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Also, is there a pressure as well? Like being in a band and then becoming solo and then others within the band also having solo career. It's not competitiveness, but it's. I imagine you have to have different sounds.
Perrie Edwards
I would say it's not competitive, but it really is great. Not between us. Like, me and the girls, we don't have that in our bones. Like, we love each other so much. If I see the girls doing well, I feel like I'm winning because I love them that much. I want to see them really truthfully, and that makes me happy. Whereas everybody Else from the outside compares us all the time, and it is draining. Like, Leanne doesn't want to be compared to me all the time. I don't want to be compared to Jade all the time, and vice versa. It's exhausting. Again, but it's just how people are. I think when you come from a group, they love to pit you against each other. But Little Mix was never about that when we were together, let alone now. Do you know what I mean?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Yeah. Because Little Mix was never that.
Perrie Edwards
No, we were never that.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
I think Little Mix is one of the greatest bands of all time, 100%, flat out, without a doubt.
Perrie Edwards
I agree. We were unbelievable.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
You were un.
Perrie Edwards
Thanks. Honestly, blow that horn. Yeah, I'm buzzing.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Okay. 50 million records sold worldwide.
Perrie Edwards
Oh.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Over 15 billion global streams and sold over 3 million concert tickets. Unbelievable.
Perrie Edwards
Wow. When you put it like that, that is insane.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Isn't it My favorite.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah. Cool.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Your vocals.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
With Jason Derulo.
Perrie Edwards
Oh, Secret Love Song. Do you like that one, Perry?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
I don't dislike it. I love it.
Perrie Edwards
I love it. I love that song.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
It's so.
Perrie Edwards
It's.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
I don't. Can I. Should I.
Perrie Edwards
Go for it, Go for it, go for it.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Don't quite know the lyrics, but I. Kiss me on the dance floor.
Perrie Edwards
That's beautiful.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
And if you be like that.
Perrie Edwards
Why can't it be like that? Cause I'm.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Oh, that wasn't good.
Perrie Edwards
That's. No, that was really good. But that's a hard bit, that, though. That's a big bit. Even I get a bit when that comes.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
So when you get to that. When you get. When you were getting to that. That moment.
Perrie Edwards
Yes.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
When you. And you have to take it to another level because there's a bit at the end.
Perrie Edwards
Oh, yeah. I'd be shitting myself. It's the. That one. And then because I did this stupid thing of holding it on every night, people were expecting it. Then I thought, oh, I have to. Exactly that. Just like that. Just like that.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Can you do it now?
Perrie Edwards
I can't. I'm not warm. Do you know I haven't sang that song in six years?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Have you not?
Perrie Edwards
And I'm thinking about, like, performing it again when I do the live gigs, because it was such a moment and the crowd loves singing it.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Yeah.
Perrie Edwards
But I'm so scared because that note is insane. But I always said to myself, if I fluffed it up and it went wrong, I'd just do it again.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Oh, so you would just stop. You would just stop and say, right, I'm gonna Do that again?
Perrie Edwards
Yeah. Cause it's right at the end and as long as I know the key, I'll just do it again, I'll just come back in.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
You have the confidence to do that now, right?
Perrie Edwards
Oh yeah.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Which is amazing. It's so funny how like as we go through, we get this complete confidence and we're just like, why didn't we have this mentality when we were younger? Because all the stories of you when you were younger, you had this incredible sing. You could always sing, but you didn't have the confidence to go and do it.
Perrie Edwards
No, I was just terrified.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Why were you terrified when you were younger?
Perrie Edwards
I don't know. I think you care more about what people think. I think that comes with age. And even though your elders will say you won't care as much, you know, just let like, don't worry about what people think and what they say. But it's hard to actually do that when you're younger, I think, because I think people's opinions mean everything when you're younger. I don't know why, but as I'm getting older and I'm realizing life is too short, I'm only put on this planet once I want to do it right. Do you know what I mean? So I can't spend it worrying about what people think of me. Now I'm at the place. But like you said earlier with the people pleasing thing, if people don't like me, tough shit.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Yeah, but do you really mean that?
Perrie Edwards
Yes, I do. Whereas before I didn't. I wanted people to like me. I needed people to like me. And now I really do not care at all.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Where do you think that comes from? Because I. You do therapy, right? Yes, and I do therapy. Well, I've actually sort of stopped my therapy. I don't know. I've stopped since becoming a dad. I've stopped.
Perrie Edwards
Okay. It's not just cause you haven't got time. Really.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
No time?
Perrie Edwards
Yeah, yeah.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
No time to like breathe. No time to do anything. And so. And actually I think therapy, if you can do therapy in any form, is the most important thing. Because the self awareness that we get from it.
Perrie Edwards
Absolutely.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
It's crazy, right? And what I realized, all of what I. The reason why I'm a people. Please. The reason why I want to be loved was from a lot of different things when I was younger.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Why do you think you have that within you? What have you learned about yourself?
Perrie Edwards
I think I have serious abandonment issues. Do you too? Yeah. I think that's what it comes down to. And I never realized it at the time because I grew up with my mom doing everything for me and having her, such a strong, independent woman. But really, I think about, like, my dad left when I was six months. And I think that your body holds on to the trauma. Even though I don't remember it, I still think, oh, my dad didn't want to be here. Do you know what I mean? So it's like that. And then you have relationships and they'll leave you for someone else. And it's all. And it's constantly. It's like, oh, God, I'm not good enough because nobody wants to be around. Does that make sense?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Makes total sense.
Perrie Edwards
This got real deep real quick.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Hey, listen.
Perrie Edwards
Real deep.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Oh, don't I open you up straight away? Wait, am I talking deep now? No, I'm so with you. I think.
Perrie Edwards
I think that's what it is.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
It's just totally that. Yeah. When my parents divorced, and I think that for me, and I was sent up to boarding school, and I've spoken about this a lot, but that's what did it to me. And you don't really realize that. And. And now for me, which is I'm going through this process now because I've just had a baby boy. Right. I'm looking at me, a younger me when I was sort of 18 to 27. I feel so sorry for that young kid because I was trying to be so many things I just wasn't.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Like, so many different things because I was so scared and not fitting in, being abandoned. And it's sad to think that I went through so much without realizing why I was going through it.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah. I feel like at the time, you don't. You just kind of plod along with it, don't you? And then when you start looking back on it. But yeah, it's like that little child inside of you want to, like, protect it. And then when you have children, it gives you a whole new outlook on life, doesn't it?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Why did your dad leave?
Perrie Edwards
He met someone else, and they're still together now. And I adore her. So it's like everything happens for a reason. But at the time, it was like, oh, no. You know what I mean? And I was just a baby, so I didn't know. I didn't know any different. And, like, at the. Like, at the time, we just went through it. But then when I'm. Now that I'm older and I look back on how my mom was, I don't know how she did it because I couldn't imagine doing what she did with two kids on her own, like, no money, nothing, like, do you know what I mean? It's hard, but I never felt like I didn't have things when I was growing up. Like everything we had was secondhand, but I still had it. Do you know what I mean?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Yeah.
Perrie Edwards
So I don't look back on my childhood and go, oh, poor me, I had nothing. I had a great childhood. I was very happy as a child, you know?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Yeah, I do know.
Perrie Edwards
So it's interesting.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
No, it's amazing. And you grew up, but you moved around a lot, didn't you?
Perrie Edwards
Yes, a lot.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
And you ended up. You were in New Zealand for a bit as well.
Perrie Edwards
We were everywhere again, though, at the time I was like, oh, we're off again. But when I look back now, I think my mum was probably just trying to figure this shit out on her own and she just wanted to keep moving around here, then everywhere.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
So when was the first moment that you realized that you could sing?
Perrie Edwards
From a very young age, actually. Because I remember being like, I went to a Catholic school and we sung for everything. We sung for our lunch, we sung for our breaks, we sung. Just everything was singing. And I remember sitting next to kids in the class thinking, you ain't doing that. Right. Like, it would really offend me.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
So it's just natural.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah. Because people who are tone deaf, I don't understand how their brains work. It fascinates me.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
I'm tone deaf.
Perrie Edwards
Oh, really?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
I think so.
Perrie Edwards
Okay, well, I didn't want to say, but. No, I'm joking. But I don't know how people can't hear the note. Like, if I go LA and someone can't go la, that offends me. And I know I shouldn't because you
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
could just hear that.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah, but if someone. If I go LA and someone goes la, I'm like, no, that's wrong. Do you know what I mean?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
But can you. Can you name the note? So if I was.
Perrie Edwards
No, I'm not that good. I'm not like. I'm not like ouzo, Emonique.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
But you can, you can mimic people. So someone says that you can go straight into it.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah, like pitch. And I know if people have good pitch or they don't. And I knew that from a very young age because I could sing along to anything. And I used to impersonate people a lot. Like Britney. I went through a Britney stage, like a song like that all the time. All the time.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
I do that again. Some believe it.
Perrie Edwards
Like that I just loved it. I wanted to impersonate everyone and then like Anastasia and like Alanis Morris said, like I used to just yodel all the time. Like it was like never ending. But I would just spend hours and hours and hours singing. So I knew it was like a passion.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Does that mean though, when you go into singing, do you then try and mimic someone? How do you find your own voice? Because if you're fans of Britney Spears or Avril Lavigne or whatever, or Diana Ross, doesn't matter who it is, you kind of want to mimic them because you know they been successful. So how do you find that voice within you?
Perrie Edwards
I think it just comes eventually because I think you just take it like you take in so much. You're like a sponge at that age, aren't you? So you try everything and then whatever feels the most comfortable is what I think is like your natural singing voice. Does that make sense?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Yeah.
Perrie Edwards
So when people sing in cursive, I'm like, but that's not real, is it?
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Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Were you popular at school?
Perrie Edwards
It depends how you define popular. I had a lot of friends, but I Don't think I was a popular girl, but I moved around so much, so I was kind of popular because I was always the new girl.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Because that's what I mean, because you were moving around so much. That's that fight that I imagine that would be quite hard to fit in because you're constantly changing the whole time, and then you go to New Zealand and spend time in New Zealand and then you come back again.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
So that's a lot.
Perrie Edwards
It's a lot for my little nervous system at that age.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Yeah.
Perrie Edwards
But I used to just think, oh, it's good, because I'm good at making friends. So I had to then introduce myself to people and be like, hi, I'm Perri. I'm from England, and da, da, da, da, da, da. You know what I mean?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Yeah.
Perrie Edwards
But that's another thing as well. My accent used to morph into different things because when I lived in Weymouth, I was a bit more posh. And then I went to South Shields, and then I was, like, talking more Geordie. And then I moved to New Zealand, and I was all of a sudden being like, Kiwi. So it's a bit odd, isn't it? So now my accent's all over the gaff.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
X Factor was a big moment for you. And it's. And it's. And do you know, I say this every single time, But I think it's pretty amazing, right, Where Harry Styles won a Grammy, right? And he got up on stage and he says, I want to thank the X Factor. It's amazing. You know, a lot of people, when they speak to me or a lot of my cast members from Made in Chelsea, they don't want to talk about it. It's not me. I'm such a believer in understanding and recognizing your roots.
Perrie Edwards
I agree.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
You know, you good, bad, whatever it is, you have to recognize where you. You came from. Where do you sit with that?
Perrie Edwards
I completely agree. I think every platform and every opportunity we've been given is. It's wild. Like, I'm lucky I got an X Factor. I'm lucky I got noticed. I'm lucky I went all the way, and we're lucky that we won. Do you know what I mean? And I think I don't look back and go, ugh, X Factor, gross. Because, yeah, it was hard and it was a lot, but I'm still grateful it happened. But I'm a bit like that with everything. My mom calls me Pollyanna. You know Pollyanna the movie? Do you remember that?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
No.
Perrie Edwards
And it's a little girl, and she's just so positive about everything. Like, I always think, like, I don't like it when people rewrite history either. I don't like it when people look back on things and go, oh, it was this and it was that, but it wasn't, was it? Do you know what I mean?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
I know. Exactly.
Perrie Edwards
That bugs me. It's like just, yes, it was hard. And I'm not saying it was the. The most straightforward, most humane show and it wasn't. The most things weren't handled right. But I'm still very glad it happened and it got me to where I am now. I'm grateful.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
But if I could, because on your solo career now and in your head, I don't. You probably think that. Think this is that. Because you 100% have the talent, you have the personality, you have the looks, you have everything you do, though, right? You could have had a solo career all in a band without the X Factor, right? So if I gave you a magic wand, truthfully, and you could re. You could. Or a genie, and you said, I give you one wish, you could redo your life and you can do X Factor or not do it, would you redo X Factor?
Perrie Edwards
Yes.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
You would? 100%.
Perrie Edwards
100%. And I would 100% want to be in the group again. Like, I thrive in a group dynamic, or I did when I was younger because I wasn't confident. I was painfully shy, and every time I auditioned, I sounded terrible. And I'd never experienced nerves before.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
That's so annoying, knowing that you can't give your best in that moment.
Perrie Edwards
And my voice was shaking and it was going like that. And I was like, oh, my God, I don't know what's happening to me. And they're like, oh, you're just nervous. And I thought, is that what that is? I don't. I've never had that before. It's weird. So I think when they put me with the girls, I was thinking, right, this is it. My mom even said that if I'm lucky, they'll put me in a group because I was so painfully shy. If the camera was there, I'd be like that, trying to avoid it. Whereas now I'm like, look at me. But at the time, I needed the girls around me. And I was so young. I was only 17.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
That is baby.
Perrie Edwards
I was a baby 16 when I first auditioned. I think in 17ish, when we won 18, maybe.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
We had Jesse on the podcast, right? And she said being in a band was amazing. And it's not until you go solo that you realize how powerful being in a band really is. Mm.
Perrie Edwards
It's true. I think it is.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Cause you just had that song.
Perrie Edwards
But I knew that in the moment, though, we knew we were blessed to have each other. And I think if, you know, we didn't get along, and it was hard, and we went through all these different things. Cause it wasn't peachy all the time. It was hard, but we still had each other. And I think we'd always put our shit to one side and be like, no, we're in this together, and we want the same thing. We have to make it work.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Explain to me the hard bits, right? Because for someone who looks in and I. I know. But for someone who's listening right now, watching, looking in, they're going, but you had everything. You got to travel the world. You got to do this, you got to do that.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
So what are the hard bits that people don't see?
Perrie Edwards
I think the hard part is being 17, 18, and being whisked away from your family, and that's it. You don't get time to see them that much. You don't see your friends. You miss events. You miss big milestones in people's lives. You don't get to be a part of the normal stuff anymore. And you're on a. You're. You're a goldfish in a pond. Everybody's looking at you. Everybody's watching your every move, who you're dating, who you're seeing, who you're out with. Are you drinking? Are you partying too much? Are you being boring? Are you. It's everything. It's like when you're that age. I didn't know what the hell I was doing at 17, 18. I was figuring it out, but I was figuring out with a lens in front of me 24 7.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
It's also too young to figure out,
Perrie Edwards
yeah, paparazzi is trying to get up my skirt. At 18 years old, I'm like, this is weird. Like, men following me home. Like, all these different things that people are like, but you're so lucky you're in a girl. But I'm like, yeah, but there's people out there who are also a bit nuts, and we have to deal with them. And it's like, a lot.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
You had paparazzi trying to do upscaling, and you had men following you home.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah, a lot of the time. Yeah.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
That's terrifying.
Perrie Edwards
I know. And I used to park up somewhere else and then either go to my manager's house or go somewhere else until I'd lost them. And then I'd have to go all the way back home then. Cause I didn't want to be followed. So I'd have to try and lose them. There's just like, this is the thing, there's two sides to being famous, I suppose, isn't there? And you don't have the choice. But now it's so different to what it was when we were on the scene, when we first came out. Like, paps were everywhere, cameras were everywhere, every move was documented, everything was a headline, everything was seen. Whereas now I feel like I go about my life and nobody cares. But maybe that's just because they're bored of me.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
They're not bored of me.
Perrie Edwards
But it's not the same anymore. I don't get papped everywhere anymore. I don't think anyone really does because of social media. They've taken that money away from perhaps essentially, haven't they?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
But can I ask a question? Because you had the abandonment issue, right?
Perrie Edwards
Yes.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Because your dad left when you're so young and that you thought everyone was going to leave. When you get given fame.
Perrie Edwards
Yes.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
It's like the most. It's like nectar for someone who has abandonment because it's so exciting.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
And wait, everyone wants me and everyone loves me. It's everything you've ever wanted. And it's hard, right, because you also wanted to be a singer, but you also wanted to be famous, I imagine, right?
Perrie Edwards
Part. Yeah. Parts of me enjoys it. When it works in my favor, I love it. If it gets me at the front of the queue, why not? If it gets me a discount, why not? But when it's like people are invasive and in my space, then I'm like, no. But I do think fame is addictive, 100%. I think when you're liked and when you're adored, it's the best feeling in the world. Because who doesn't want that? It's normal to feel like that. Even if you're at school and you're Miss Popular or Mr. Popular and you go through your life, if you're working in an office and you're the main one, or you're the golden boy or whatever, it makes you feel something. So you can't deny that. I can't say, oh, I don't like it, I love it, I like it. But I think I wanted it and I craved it more before I had children.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Explain that to me.
Perrie Edwards
So I think for me, being in the industry and being a singer was everything and if I wasn't that, I was. I was a nothing. I was a failure. I was a nobody. Nobody cared. But then when you have kids, it just puts everything in perspective and it's like, hang on a minute. Yes. I do this because I love it and it's what makes me happy. And I'm at my happiest when I'm on stage. It's not everything. It's not my children's health and happiness and everything else. That's what's important. So I think you just get a whole new look on life.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Yeah. Your whole priority shift, don't they? It's crazy where that happens. Your brain expands.
Perrie Edwards
Yes.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Everything shifts and everything becomes different.
Perrie Edwards
And don't get me wrong, I want it still. I want to be out there. I want to be a pop star. It's who makes me feel like me. I'm like, I love being a mom, but I also love doing what I love to do. So it's finding that balance. But it's not like I need it now. Otherwise I'm a nothing. Do you know what I mean?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Yeah, totally. So when you were in Little Mix, right, results mattered massively?
Perrie Edwards
Yes.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
100%. Right. You needed to be the top. It was like, we need to do this. We need to be the best. And that also comes with that fear of bad. And we're going to lose this. At some point it's going to go. Yeah, it's going to go.
Perrie Edwards
Absolutely.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
And now that shifted where you don't think there's not much pressure on yourself. It feels like a little bit. No.
Perrie Edwards
And I think that changes as well with the industry. The industry is completely different now. Like back in Little Mix days, if we didn't get a number one or a top five, it was a failure. It was bad because the amount of money that was invested in us and the amount of work and time and commitment that everybody put into it, it was a big, huge disappointment. And it felt like shit. Whereas now chart position doesn't really. It doesn't matter anymore. It's about streams and it's about this and it's about social media content, and everything's kind of shifted anyway. So I think then you start thinking, all right, well, that's not important anymore. Now this is important and XYZ is important. So I think that shifted anyway. But back in Little Mix, if we. If we didn't get, like the success we craved, we felt so shit.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
What was the. What was the hardest part about being in Little Mix around that time? What was it?
Perrie Edwards
I Think what I said just about our personal lives being everywhere. Like, that was a lot. And it was a lot to deal with because it wasn't normal really, is it?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
It's not normal because also you're growing up and you go through a public breakup as well. And that's tough.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah, that is tough. I think it's only tough because one. I mean, people are gonna hate me talking about it. They fucking. I can't catch a break if I talk about this. Why are you talking about it?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
But anyway, because it's your life.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah, exactly.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
And it's your life.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah, let's freaking talk about it. Like, when you go through heartbreak, yes, it is hellish.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
It's the worst thing in the world.
Perrie Edwards
You can't eat, you can't sleep. You feel horrendous again, abandoned. You feel abandoned and you don't feel good enough. And you feel like you've been left for something better or whatever it is, obviously. And then what makes it even worse is I feel like the world was then looking at me, laughing at me.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Wow.
Perrie Edwards
I felt like everyone thought, ahaha. Do you know what I mean? And not my fans. Like, my fans were like, we love you. We'll fight your corner no matter what. But I felt like everyone. I felt embarrassed. I felt horrified. It was awful.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
How do you stay sane through that?
Perrie Edwards
I didn't.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
You don't.
Perrie Edwards
I had a mentib. I had, like, serious breakdowns. I did. Because it wasn't just the heartbreak I was dealing with. I was dealing with everybody, like, looking at me, and I felt ridiculed. I just couldn't cope with it. I hated it. I was breaking down in performances, which isn't like me at all. I was breaking down. I was crying constantly. I think I was depressed. And I know that sounds ridiculous, but I think it was this plus this, plus this and everything on top. It was like I had to be there for the girls. I had to be switched on. I had to power through for little mitts. But I also just wanted to be left the fuck alone. But I also was getting followed every two seconds and asked about it 24 7. And it was the headlines. It was everywhere. And it was a lot. And like, this is the thing when people are like, stop talking about it. I'm like, but it really affected me.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Yeah, but very. You shouldn't feel like you have to stop talking about things because other people say, so. Who cares?
Perrie Edwards
Yeah. No, you're right.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Was it as hard for Zayn as it was for you? Do you think
Perrie Edwards
I Don't think at the time. I think when you're. I need to be careful how I say this, but there was. Let's just say there was a bit of a. I'm just gonna say it. So there was a bit of an overlap, you see. And I think when you're moving on with somebody else, you always get on better. When you're the one left behind, that's when it's hard because it's like, oh, shit, they've left me four. Someone more beautiful than me Someone better than me Whatever it is. That's how it felt at the time. And then you. You have a song that they've written about you, but then someone else is in the video. It was one thing after the other after the other. And I remember finding out about that Perry.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
That is it.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah. And I just. I went in and my dad and my brother were at the house at the time, and I just moved into my little bungalow in Surrey. So I was trying to get as far away as I could. And I just remember finding out about that. And it was like the nail in the coffin. And I thought, this is all getting a bit much. And then I started crying my eyes out. And then my dad started crying, and he was like, I don't know how I can take this pain away. And I'm like, you can't. Nobody can. This is hellish. Like, what is going on? It was like. It was really one thing after the other. And there's so much that people don't know about that I would never say, even though I've just spilled some beans. But there's so much that went into it that I would never talk about that I went through, and it was real hard. So that's probably why I get a bit frustrated at times.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
How did it change your understanding of love?
Perrie Edwards
It made me realize that that was very unhealthy and that. I mean, you can say it was young puppy love or whatever, and you're, like, whisked away with it. And I think now that I've experienced what healthy love is with Alex. Yeah, it's so nice. It doesn't make you feel sick to your stomach all the time. It doesn't make you feel icky. It doesn't make you feel like you're not worthy or you're not good enough, or you could be doing everything better. And, you know, it doesn't feel competitive. It doesn't feel toxic. Like, that's exactly what I would say it was. It doesn't feel like that when you experience it the good way.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
And sometimes we get confused. Right?
Perrie Edwards
Yeah. I think that's ripped. We think that's passion. Yeah. Like, they love me this much.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
This is exciting. It has to be the thrill. I remember when I met Sophie and we were, like, best friends, right? And we then met each other and we started, like, hooking up. And I was like. I remember saying to her things like, I'm gonna go on a night out. And she was like, okay. And I was like.
Perrie Edwards
And you'd be like, what? What? Okay. And there's no backlash with this.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
I'm gonna drink loads. Okay.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
And it was. I actually, at the beginning, got scared with Sophie because I was like, are we. Is this. It was still.
Perrie Edwards
Oh, I see what you're saying. That's understandable. So you're like, there's no, like, fire. There's no, like, heated things. There's no heated things.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
There's no arguments. There's no. And then what I realized is actually being still feeling confident in a relationship is actually what you're after 100%. Those. We still have peaks and ups and downs.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah, of course that's natural, but it's not really up a height and then really low, and then really here. I'm really there. That isn't healthy. It's just not. You can call it passion, but that only takes you so far, doesn't it?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
What do you love about Alex?
Perrie Edwards
Everything. Oh, such a sop. I just. I just love how calm he is and how understanding he is and how caring he is and thoughtful he is. And, like, there's things he does that irritates the shit out of me, but that's fine. But, like, yeah, I just feel safe with Alex. I feel just content and happy and it's not effort.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
You. You also went through a miscarriage twice together.
Perrie Edwards
Yes, we did.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
And you had a really tough time with it.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah. I feel like the first time round, it was more just. I don't know, because I found out I was pregnant.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Yeah.
Perrie Edwards
Then I went to have a scan, and it was scary. Are you excited?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
You're really excited.
Perrie Edwards
I was just like, oh, my gosh. Because it wasn't planned and it was. I felt weird, but I was a bit like, oh, okay, maybe this is a good thing. Like, we love each other. We're gonna be together forever. So maybe it's like, okay, but I'll go have a scan and just check. But before the scan, I started bleeding, and I was thinking, oh, no, maybe. Maybe I'm not pregnant. But I was still. Still seem Pregnant on the stick and everything like that. And then we got there. Well, I went by myself, actually, I was on my own. So I went into somewhere on Harley street, went for the scan, and then they were like, okay. And the woman said to me. She was like, there's no sack. There's no baby. And I thought, how embarrassing. I've imagined the whole thing. I was starting to think, did I read it wrong? I'm sure it said pregnant, and I'm sure there was. I did so many of them. So I was then convinced that I'd made the whole thing up. So I was going a bit crazy. And then I went into the appointment after with my gynecologist, and he sat me down and he was like, no, no, no, there's no baby. And I said, no, I understand that. I've been told that, but was there ever a baby or was there. I'm really confused. Like, he just. And he was like, no, no, no. There was a pregnancy, darling, but now it's gone. And he was like, you've miscarried. And I was like, oh, okay. And then I just felt weird. And then it was a bit bizarre, and it was almost like it felt like something that I wasn't fully attached in a way. I know that sounds awful. Yeah. Because it was so early. It was all a bit of a. But it doesn't sound awful. Yeah. Swepty. And I was just. It was all a bit weird. So then it kind of freaked me out moving forward. And then when I fell pregnant with Axel, then the whole pregnancy, I was thinking, oh, no, this could happen again. So I felt like I was scared to get attached. But then I was attached, and then it was almost, like, scary.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Wow. Barry. No one. I didn't even think of it like that. Yeah, it's wild, of course, because you don't. You want to. You don't want to get attached because you're like, well, it's.
Perrie Edwards
You don't know what's gonna happen.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
But then you can't help but get attached.
Perrie Edwards
You can't help but get excited. And then the bigger you get and the more bump you get, and it's all becoming a bit real, and then you decorate the room and all these things. And luckily, my pregnancy with Axel was amazing. I loved every second of being pregnant. Once I was past the 12 weeks, and I felt like. I felt like everything was fine. All the appointments were great. Everything was going well. I thought, right, this is it. And I just basked in it. I loved every second of it. And that kind of got me feeling a bit more positive. And I was like, right, I can do this. I've birthed a human. I've done it once. I can do it again. And then we got pregnant again. And then we were about 24 weeks when we lost our baby, but we'd named him, and it was all this kind of. Again, I was attached, but because I'd just had Axel, I wasn't living in the headspace of, oh, something could happen. I was just like, I've just done this, and I'm doing it again, and I love it. So I wasn't even thinking anything was going to go wrong until it went wrong. And that was, like, traumatic, because I feel like when you're that far along and you have to have the procedure, it's. It's. I don't know. It's just different. No way to have a miscarriage is easy if it happens at the beginning. It's not easier than it happening further down the line. It's just not nice in general, is it? And I think having to give birth to a child that you can't take home.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Oh, Perry. I'm sorry. Oh, Perry.
Perrie Edwards
It's. It's awful. All I do is cry. I swear. I'm a cancer. That's why.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
But cry, let it out.
Perrie Edwards
It's.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
It's. It's okay to cry.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah, I know.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
I can't even imagine that. I. You know, I can't even imagine.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Going through that experience.
Perrie Edwards
And, yeah, it's sad, but we have his little ashes, and it's like. It's just. It's just life, isn't it? It's awful, and it does. It seems so unfair.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
You know, it's really important to talk about this because so many people go through this, and you're helping them because they're going, well, she's gone through it, so I can get through this as well.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah. No, and that gives me some peace. Like, that makes me feel a bit more, like, content with talking about it.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
What would you say to someone who's experiencing that right now or just going through it?
Perrie Edwards
I think it just. There's not really anything you can say to make it easier. I don't think anything really necessarily helps, but I think for me, I'm in a position where I've been through it twice, but I've also got two children, so it's like I can't even imagine what it must be like for the women who go through what I went through and still don't have a baby. Do you Know what I mean? And I was. But it took me a while to want to go again. And I always knew I wanted more children than just one. I always knew I wanted Axel to have siblings, whether two or three or whatever. But I just didn't have it in me to get pregnant again. Like, I was just terrified. I thought it's probably best to just leave it. So that's why there's such a big gap now between, like, Axel and Alanis. It's not a huge gap, but it's not the gap I wanted, you know? But it took me a lot to get over what happened, to try again. And I think especially after what happened with Ace, when I was pregnant with Alanis, I was just on edge the whole time. All I did was eat four and a half stone of comfort food. And every appointment, I was just. My like. Like, stomach felt like it was doing somersaults, and it's so scary. I was like, just. It was just a lot. Every appointment, it wasn't enjoyable. And that upsets me because I love being pregnant. I love the feeling of it. I love carrying a baby. I feel powerful. I feel, like, untouchable. It's wild how you feel that. I'm sad that during the pregnancy, I didn't get to enjoy it fully until the very end, really, because I was just always on edge.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Because you feel like that's sort of
Perrie Edwards
been taken from you, so you can't do that. Yeah. And we had so many extra scans. Like, Alanis was scanned more than any baby in the history, I think, ever. I was like, give me one more. I'll have one more. Fancy another one, Honestly. Fancy another. I couldn't get enough scans just for reassurance because I was just so scared.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Yeah, but that's so understandable.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
I want to also mention Alex as well, because, you know, if a partner is listening to this right now and their wife or whoever is going through it, what would you say to the partner? How does the partner react? What does the partner need to do, say to make it okay? Because they're in it, but they also need to protect their loved one who's the one experiencing it.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah, I get why people say it like that, and I get in the moment why Alex was like, you know, you're going through this, but it wasn't me, obviously. I'm carrying the baby and I'm going through the procedures and I'm having to do all these things that I didn't want to do. But he just felt for me because he knew how Hard it was. And what I was going through. But then I was also looking at him thinking, but you've lost our baby, too. Do you know what I mean? And he'd planned all these things and what we wanted to do. And we're gonna have two running around and this, that, and the other. And we had all this stuff ready. Like, it was just. I think, for him, he put on a brave face and he kind of dealt with it. Because I think that's what a lot of men are told to do. And I hate that shit. I hate that. I don't think that's healthy at all. Why should men have that mentality? And why should they be taught that from a young age as well? They should be taught how to feel. And men would probably be more decent if they were taught their emotions. Yeah, it's okay to feel.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
It's okay to feel.
Perrie Edwards
It's okay.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
It's okay to be vulnerable.
Perrie Edwards
You don't have to bury it.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
You know, you can cry.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah. You can let it out. Yeah. I think that's important. And I think Alex did go through the motions, and he tried to toughen up and be there for me, but I know he went through it, and I know he was struggling, because it's just awful.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Did you speak to the girls? Did you speak to the band members?
Perrie Edwards
Yeah, I spoke to the girls, and they blessed them. They were sending me, like, hampers from the White Company and this, that, and the other. And they were really sweet about it. It was awful. I think I told Leanne at the time. Cause we have a group chat from when we had our babies. Cause we were pregnant at the same time. We did everything together. Of course, we'd be in sync with our children as well. And it was. I spoke to Leanne and I told Leanne first, and I was like, babe, please, can you tell Jayda? No, I would like to have spoke to Jade. But even just telling people what had happened was making me feel sick to my stomach. So once I'd explained it once, I kind of was like, please, can you just take it from here and let Jade know. And she was like, of course, babe. Like, no problem. So that. That was hard. Like, telling people. And then friends would message and be like, how's the bump? How are you feeling? Not knowing that we. We didn't have the baby anymore. So it was like. And then I felt bad on them. Miss people, please. I. Again, I'm thinking you feel awkward for them now. I feel awkward for them having to tell them, oh, there is no Baby.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
And you'd be like, it's okay.
Perrie Edwards
By the way, though, it's okay, but we're all right kind of thing. It's just all a bit. It's a really hard dynamic to get right, I think.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
You know, we had Jessie on, and she obviously went. Has been and is going through such a. Yeah. Tough time. And she said that after her pregnancy, how you all reached out to her. How is your relationship with each other now?
Perrie Edwards
I mean, when I think everything we've been through as a group, and even though it ended in ways that I wouldn't have wanted it to, and we're not that close anymore, and we're not in each other's lives, I still feel everything that the girls feel, and I think they're the same. We'll always have that weird connection. And seeing Jesse go through that, it broke me because I. You wouldn't wish that on anyone. It's literally wild. And as much as we've got our issues and, you know, I think I. I don't want to see her go through that. I don't want to see her hurt, and I don't want to say any of that. It's heartbreaking.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
You know, you. Because the really interesting what you. You said is that when we talk. We talk about breakups, right. And you talk about your breakup with Zayn and that being public and how tough that is. What you, you know, you sung about. Right, is when you have friend breakups, you know, like, I broke up with a friend as well. Well, he sort of broke up with me, I think, more than I broke up with him. Yeah, it was traumatic.
Perrie Edwards
It is.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
It was.
Perrie Edwards
It's a lot.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
I was like, sorry, am I 16 again? Or, like, being broken?
Perrie Edwards
Like, what is this? It hurts, doesn't it?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Yeah, yeah, it really hurts. My friend, he said to me, look, we can't be friends for now. And I went because of what he said, because of the selling things. Anyway, it wasn't my fault. Right.
Perrie Edwards
Okay.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
But it was a very tough thing for me, and it took me about a year to get through it because I was suddenly like, hang on a second. You lose that sort of sister, you lose that brother.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
It's really tough to go. And no one really talks about that, do they? No.
Perrie Edwards
And when you're used to living in each other's pockets for so long and telling them everything and being, like, experience and everything with this person when they're gone, it is just as hard as a breakup, I think, especially when you don't get closure. That's the worst of it. That's the worst part. If you get closure after a breakup, it cushions the blow. But I think when that's it, it's done and you've got no say in it anymore. It's almost like, well, hang on a minute. You don't get that. Like, you can't shift that out of your system, can you?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
You're like me. You need closure as well.
Perrie Edwards
I need closure?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Yeah.
Perrie Edwards
I can't move on without closure.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
I need to be told those things and I find it so hard. What are you like in an argument? Do you have to?
Perrie Edwards
I'm not good in arguments. I'm not good with confrontation. Like, I'm quite quick witted when it comes to funniness, but when it's serious, my brain doesn't think. I can't argue because I get overwhelmed and I'll just cry and that's annoying in itself. So I just cry the whole time and it's just a nightmare. I'm not good at arguing unless I'm sticking up for somebody else. If I was like arguing for a friend, I wouldn't back down. But when it's me, I'm like, ugh. I just, I hate it.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Oh, so you've got that. So you wouldn't back down?
Perrie Edwards
No. If I was fighting for somebody that I cared about, I would just be like a bulldog. But with myself, I'm like, ugh, I haven't got time for this.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Yeah, but you have this heart. That's why it hurts so much. That's why when you have this break, that's like, it's almost.
Perrie Edwards
It's too much.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
It's too much.
Perrie Edwards
I can't handle it.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
It's not.
Perrie Edwards
Hack it.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
You know your lyrics. In Same Place, Different View says, say you'll change. When will you mean it? It's always a stormy season Time and time I've tried to see the best in you but no use. When you see my red as blue we're on different pages so there's nothing I can do. Me and you in the same place different view. Beautiful.
Perrie Edwards
Thank you. I think it's just like sometimes you just won't win with people. You just don't see eye to eye at all. You could talk, you could discuss something with somebody for hours and hours and hours. And still at the end of that discussion be like, well, I still think this and you still think that. And that's what it kind of came to and what annoys me the most. Again, I have to be careful how I say this because I don't want to seem like a bitch, but for me, what upsets me the most is when situations like this happen, when the other person doesn't take any accountability, that boils my blood. I'm not blaming everything on you. I'm not saying she's this fucking monster and everything was her fault and blah, blah, blah. But take some accountability for your actions and realize you weren't difficult. You did have difficult moments. Granted, there was reasons for those moments. But you can only pick somebody up so many fucking times before you start losing track of your own sanity. And you want to be there for that person, but if they don't, if they can't accept the help and they can't accept the love that you're trying to show, how do you win? How do you get past that? You can't.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
No, because what you're talking about, you're talking about fairness as well.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
It's like. Hang on a second. I understand there's fault here, but you need to. You need to accept that.
Perrie Edwards
I hate that. I don't like putting the blame on people. Don't put the blame on me and make me out to be something that I'm not. Yes, I'm not perfect, and I might not have been there enough or I could have done better, I suppose, but I thought what I was doing was enough. I thought I'd tried everything. So then to then sit there in further interviews and discuss it publicly and be like, I wasn't supported. You were, though. Do you know what I'm saying? You were. So just. Just, again, take some accountability. Do you think I feel better?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Do you think you're still angry?
Perrie Edwards
I would say more frustrated than angry, because I don't like being painted into a person that I'm not. Because I'm an open book. I'll tell you exactly how it is. And I'm very open. I'm very to the point, and that's
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
beautiful, by the way, because I can feel that from you.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
I have to be real, Perry. It's so refreshing because to sit with someone and I'm so open.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah, I know you are. So I watch you a lot.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Yeah. But I just. Because it's so authentic and you are so authentic, and that is really important in life. You have to be. Yeah, I think it's.
Perrie Edwards
You have to be genuine.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
You have to be.
Perrie Edwards
But it exhausts me when I see other people that I know inside and out when they're not being genuine, and it frustrates me.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Do you think you Will rekindle the friendship.
Perrie Edwards
If I'm being completely transparent. Part of me wanted to until the documentary, and then part of me withdrew again. And. And this is the thing. I'm not a horrible person. I haven't got a bad bone in my body. But I can cut you off.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
You can do that?
Perrie Edwards
I can cut you out of my life like that. If you upset me and you hurt me in a way, there's not really any going back I can forgive. But I don't want you in my space. And this is what I'm learning in therapy as well. Like, I'm. There's capability and there's capacity, right? Yeah, you're capable of anything. You can achieve anything if you really go for it and you work hard. But my capacity is fucking small. I only have a certain amount of roof, do you know what I mean, that I can cram in. I have my career, I have my relationship, I have my friends. I have things going on. There's. There's personal things, there's public things. There's everything. I don't have the capacity for somebody like that in my life anymore. And that might make me sound like a bitch, but I just don't have the energy for it. And as much as I will always love her, I don't think I can hack that energy in my space.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
No, I think it's. If that makes sense. It makes more sense than anything. I think I should take a leap out of that book, and I think more people listening should take a leaf out of that book. Because actually, there is not enough time. There's not enough time to try and fix everything and make everything okay. And if you can't, you just have to let it go.
Perrie Edwards
You have to just step back. Yeah, you can't fix everything, and you can't fix people, that's for certain. They're set in their ways, and clearly they don't think there's anything wrong with them. So you think, okay, you do you and I'll do me, and that's that.
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Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Your mom is called Debs.
Perrie Edwards
Debs? Yeah, or Debs.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Who's more important, Alex or Debs?
Perrie Edwards
Oh my gosh, Jamie. Oh, that's tough. Because my mom is my world. She's my everything. She's my village. She does everything for me and Alex. So me and Alex wouldn't cope without Debs.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Is she really she's that everything?
Perrie Edwards
She's at home with the kids now. She's my nanny, she's my mummy. She's my best friend. She's my gone out buddy. We do everything together, me and Debs. And the thought of not having her in my life is the scariest fear. My worst fear in life is not having my mum. But then I have Alex that I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with and he's then gonna have to step up and be the Debs one day, you know, and that is like scary.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
You know what? It's my scary thing at the moment. I had a moment with my dad where it was during lockdown and I think I mentioned this before, but during lockdown he came back and he'd been on a bike ride. It was a hot day and he didn't really remember where he'd been. It was just a heat. It was obviously heat stroke or whatever it was. And it suddenly went. I had this moment where I went, went, wait, you're not invincible. Wait, hang on. Saying you're not invincible. You're not.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah, that's hard. It's not nice, that feeling.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
And now, you know I'm very close with my parents, but very close to my mom. My mom is just. I love my mum.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
And you Think, like, how many. How many more summers, how many more Christmases, how many more years? I know. And I'm getting to that stage now where I start, where, where kills me.
Perrie Edwards
It's the worst. I can't imagine it. I can't. I don't even want to talk about it. Jimmy. Move on. Debs is living forever.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
What's something your mum taught you that you hope you can pass on to your children?
Perrie Edwards
I think my mom's always been really good at letting me be what I want to be. She's never said, don't do that. You shouldn't do that. She's like, you just learn from. So you. If you up, you up and you. You make it work. And. And another thing is, she always says to me, which I absolutely love, is there's nothing in this life we can't fix.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Yeah.
Perrie Edwards
And I love that.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Perrie Edwards
Because in the moment, it feels like it's the end of the world. But there's always something you can fix, you know, and you can get past it. You get past it. It's not forever. It's not a forever feeling. And you can get through it. That's what I love 100%.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
When a door shuts, a window opens. You just have to find that window and get yourself through it.
Perrie Edwards
Absolutely.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
But Perry, what's amazing is that you're juggling new music, your B like being. How are you juggling all of that with Debs?
Perrie Edwards
More Debs. She holds down the fort for me. But, yeah, I've got a very good balance of work, life, mum life, all that stuff, I think.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
But you wouldn't be you without making new music, without touring, without being on stage, without singing.
Perrie Edwards
No, I don't think so.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
That's within your soul, isn't it?
Perrie Edwards
Yeah, yeah, I love it.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
So are you not so excited about this new music?
Perrie Edwards
Yeah, and I feel like I've figured out my sound a bit more now and I just love the music I was raised on.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Like, what was that?
Perrie Edwards
Like pop rock, like bit of punk, Like Guns N Roses, Aerosmith, Steve Perry, Journey. That's all my favorite kind of music. Aerosmith, Man Aerosmith. And Avril Lavigne grown up. Hayley Williams, Paramore. They are all my biggest influences with music. When I'm around the house, that's the music I want to listen to. I want to listen to the big ballad, 80s, pop rock ballads. All of that is the love of my life.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
When you hear those songs, what does it do to your soul?
Perrie Edwards
It makes me feel like warm and Fuzzy and like amazing inside. I love that feeling.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
So, greatest song for you of all time.
Perrie Edwards
Oh, my gosh. That's impossible.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Do you have to pick it?
Perrie Edwards
The first song that came to my head was probably Aerosmith. Don't want to Miss a thing. That's gotta be one of the greatest songs ever written.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
No, without a freaking doubt.
Perrie Edwards
Without a doubt, right?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
I don't wanna close my eyes.
Perrie Edwards
I don't wanna fall asleep. Cause I'm a sea bear and I
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
don't wanna miss a thing. Even when I dream of you. The sweetest thing I'll never do. I still miss you, Perry.
Perrie Edwards
Sing it.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
And I don't wanna miss a thing. Can I just say yes. You're freaking brilliant, man. You are just.
Perrie Edwards
So are you.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
No, no, honestly, you're so great.
Perrie Edwards
Thanks.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
You're. I wish other people. I wish people listening, watching right now could feel the energy of you. Your energy is just this sounds. It sounds weird.
Perrie Edwards
You would be.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
You're just such. You're an amazing mother.
Perrie Edwards
Oh, that's lovely.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
You're an amazing mother. Amazing friend. You can just feel it like. Yeah. On you. It's just a lovely aura to be around.
Perrie Edwards
I love that. Thank you so much. You are too.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Listen, we're gonna leave all the links to all of your music in the show description, everything.
Perrie Edwards
Oh, that'd be lovely.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Thanks a hundred percent. I want everyone to go and check out every single one of your songs.
Perrie Edwards
Oh, that'd be great. Get them streams up where we are.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Get those fricking streams up.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah, go on.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Lizzy and Perry, we'd like to finish our conversation with eight questions. Are you ready?
Perrie Edwards
Okay. Yep. Ready.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
What's a saying or phrase that makes you smile? Or cheers you up? Up.
Perrie Edwards
Don't worry, be happy. Okay.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Don't worry, be happy. Best compliment anyone's ever given you.
Perrie Edwards
The one you just gave me then.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
But it's true, by the way. That's genuine, I promise. Your aura is just beautiful.
Perrie Edwards
That's so nice.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
What scares you most about yourself?
Perrie Edwards
Not trusting my own intuition.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Wow.
Perrie Edwards
Yeah. Terrifies me. I feel like my gut's very strong and I don't listen to it often, but I should.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Apart from today. Last time you cried.
Perrie Edwards
I was gonna say like five seconds ago. When did I last cry? Yesterday.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Okay.
Perrie Edwards
It's not a regular occurrence. That much. It just so happens that it was yesterday.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
What happened yesterday?
Perrie Edwards
I just felt very lovey dovey and in my feels.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
What's something you can't let go of?
Perrie Edwards
Singing.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Yeah. 100. What's your guilty pleasure.
Perrie Edwards
Probably like a good teen rom com. Like the summer of 10. Pretty off campus, which I'm watching now. And it's. Please.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Is it good? Wait, wait, hold on. Is it?
Perrie Edwards
I. Oh my gosh. I'm honestly.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Is it that good?
Perrie Edwards
Yes.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Oh my gosh.
Perrie Edwards
Oh my gosh. I can't wait to get in the car. As much as I love your company, I can't wait to get in the car and watch it. I've downloaded the episodes on my iPad. I'm on episode six or something.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Is it that good?
Perrie Edwards
It's so good. I thought the Summer I Turned Pretty was good. And then it's wild though, because the first episode you just say tits. Tits, ass, tits. It's quite like donche, but it's really good. Wait, what's this called? It's called Off Campus.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Off Campus. Are they all hot?
Perrie Edwards
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my gosh. They're hot. It's just brilliant. It's so good.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Shit. I need to watch this.
Perrie Edwards
You should. Did you watch the Summer at Home?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
I didn't watch it. No. Sophie did. She loved it.
Perrie Edwards
Did she say she will love Off Campus? Oh, my gosh. Tell her I get it on tonight.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
What turns you off?
Perrie Edwards
Arrogance.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
100%. What turns you on?
Perrie Edwards
The way people talk to people and the way they handle a room. That is like a big turn on.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Does Alex handle a room?
Perrie Edwards
Yeah.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Oh, yeah.
Perrie Edwards
He walks in a room and he owns it, but in a nice way. Like quite badass, but also quite humble. He's got a perfect balance. It's just really good. I don't know. He's got something about him. He's very like perfect balanced but also charismatic and like. Do you know what I mean? He's just so funny.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
That is sexy.
Perrie Edwards
It's so sexy.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
That means he knows himself very well.
Perrie Edwards
Yes, and I like that. He's got a very silent confidence in himself. I love that. That sort of fit.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Bonus one.
Perrie Edwards
Okay.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Favorite little mix on. Give it to me.
Perrie Edwards
I might have to go. Do you know what? Today I'm feeling power. Yeah, I'm feeling power. That's a bop, isn't it?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Not Shout out to my ex.
Perrie Edwards
I do love Shout out to my ex. And it was such a moment in time and it was a great campaign. Number one for ages has really defined us as a girl group. But power today is what I'm vibing.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Do you remember that viral wave you did?
Perrie Edwards
Viral wave.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Didn't you do a viral wave when you were singing that song in the.
Perrie Edwards
Oh, yeah, but that wasn't real, was it? It was edited. Yeah, it was edited. But how good would that have been if it was real? That would have been so sick, wouldn't it?
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
You're singing. Let's go.
Perrie Edwards
That would have been unreal. Never been in the same room since the breakup, but that would have been iconic. Shall adore. Yeah,
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
Barry, we adore you. The greatest company ever. Thank you so much.
Perrie Edwards
Thank you.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
You're amazing.
Perrie Edwards
Love that. Wasn't expecting to cry.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
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Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
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Perrie Edwards
Today's story is shared by one of our listeners.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
It's called Betrayed by Bill.
Perrie Edwards
It was in that moment I caught
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
who was staring back at me in
Perrie Edwards
betrayal or more like what, my insurance bill.
Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
With trembling hands, I grabbed my phone and switched to geico, saving about $900 in the process and never to be betrayed again. Now that was bloody riveting.
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Interviewer (possibly Jamie)
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Podcast: Great Company with Jamie Laing
Episode: PERRIE EDWARDS: Letting Go of a Friendship I Thought Would Last Forever
Release Date: June 9, 2026
Host: Jamie Laing
Guest: Perrie Edwards
This deeply personal episode features Perrie Edwards—former Little Mix star and now solo artist—opening up about music, identity, heartbreak, healing from public and private pain, shifting priorities in motherhood, and the complexities of friendship and fame. Together with Jamie Laing, Perrie explores themes of resilience, self-acceptance, and the power of letting go.
This episode is a candid, moving conversation about self-worth, fame, grief, love, and growth. Perrie’s sincerity shines as she shares heartbreak, celebrates motherhood, honors her musical passion, and explains the necessity of boundaries. Listeners are left with a sense of hope, resilience, and permission to let go of relationships that no longer serve them.
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