Great Company with Jamie Laing
Episode: RUBY WAX: I DID NOT LOVE MY PARENTS
Release Date: January 22, 2025
Host: Jamie Lang
Guest: Ruby Wax

Introduction

In this deeply engaging episode of Great Company with Jamie Laing, host Jamie Lang sits down with the renowned comedian, writer, and mental health advocate Ruby Wax. The conversation delves into Ruby's extensive career in interviewing high-profile personalities, her personal struggles with mental health, and her complex relationship with her parents. Throughout the episode, Ruby offers candid insights into her life, her approach to interviews, and her journey toward self-acceptance and healing.

Ruby Wax’s Interviewing Style and Experiences

Ruby Wax opens up about her distinctive interviewing technique, emphasizing the importance of building rapport and making interviewees feel comfortable. She describes her style as "almost flirting," aiming to turn interviews into a "true love affair" where both parties feel connected.

Ruby Wax [06:30]: "I really want people to like me. That's what your career was like."

Ruby recounts her experiences interviewing some of the most controversial figures, including Donald Trump and O.J. Simpson. She explains how her desire to be liked sometimes posed challenges, especially when dealing with individuals who harbored strong negative feelings toward her.

Ruby Wax [13:48]: "He reminded me of everything that scares me... I became a child again."

One of the standout moments is Ruby's account of her interview with Trump, where she attempted to inject personal questions to humanize the interaction but faced hostility instead.

Ruby Wax [12:11]: "He said, I'm gonna go upstairs. I got a headache."

Ruby also shares a humorous yet unsettling anecdote about O.J. Simpson attempting to stab her with a banana during an interview, highlighting the unpredictable nature of her work.

Ruby Wax [20:18]: "He tried to stab me with a banana. That went on American television on all the news channels."

Relationships with Parents and Early Life

A significant portion of the conversation centers around Ruby's tumultuous relationship with her parents. She candidly discusses the emotional neglect and psychological manipulation she endured, particularly from her father, which has profoundly impacted her self-esteem and relationships.

Ruby Wax [32:28]: "No, no, no, I didn't. I do in a primal way, the way an animal does."

Ruby reflects on how her parents' dysfunction led her to develop coping mechanisms such as humor and a strong desire for acceptance. She describes her mother as "hysterical" and shares vivid memories of her father's emotional abuse.

Ruby Wax [29:38]: "He'd play mind games. He'd keep telling me how rich I was... but he kept me at home till I was in my late 30s."

Her experiences in boarding school from the age of eight further compounded her feelings of abandonment and shaped her need to be seen and appreciated by others.

Ruby Wax [36:00]: "I think that Trump hates women. And I think my dad did, too."

Mental Health Journey

Ruby Wax openly discusses her struggles with depression, detailing how it manifested in her adolescence and the long road to understanding and managing her mental health. She shares her frustration with the initial misdiagnosis and the lack of proper support, leading to prolonged suffering before finally being correctly diagnosed in her early thirties.

Ruby Wax [42:03]: "Only when I was 31, did somebody say this is depression."

Her journey includes attempts at various therapies, including Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), which she describes with both skepticism and acknowledgment of its benefits.

Ruby Wax [49:27]: "It's left it. Finally. It's an episodic disease."

Ruby emphasizes the importance of understanding and addressing mental health issues, advocating for greater empathy and support for those struggling.

Career Challenges and Evolution

Ruby reflects on the highs and lows of her career, including the immense popularity of her shows in the 80s and 90s, which at times overshadowed her personal achievements. She discusses the pressure to transition into reality TV, which she resisted to maintain her integrity and authenticity.

Ruby Wax [54:16]: "I couldn't do those shows. I didn't need it."

Her decision to leave mainstream television paved the way for her educational pursuits, including her studies at Oxford, which she humorously refers to as her "greatest accomplishment."

Ruby Wax [56:00]: "I went to Oxford. That's my greatest accomplishment."

Ruby also touches on the impact of social media on personal and professional life, expressing her disdain for the relentless comparison and competition it fosters.

Ruby Wax [57:23]: "Competing with the world. And that is if somebody has millions of viewers. I don't want to know."

Personal Growth and Acceptance

Throughout the episode, Ruby emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and the ongoing journey of self-acceptance. She discusses how her experiences with family, mental health, and her career have shaped her into a resilient and empathetic individual. Ruby advocates for continuous personal development and the embracing of one's flaws as a path to true wisdom.

Ruby Wax [63:22]: "You can't do everything. That's why I studied therapy and mindfulness, is that this is the human condition, not my condition."

Ruby concludes by highlighting the significance of genuine connections and the human desire for understanding and love, reinforcing the episode's overarching theme of introspection and personal growth.

Ruby Wax [64:00]: "That I can be funny."

Conclusion

This episode of Great Company offers a profound exploration of Ruby Wax's life, blending humor with raw honesty. Ruby's insights into the art of interviewing, coupled with her personal narratives about overcoming adversity, provide listeners with both entertainment and valuable lessons in resilience and empathy. Jamie Lang skillfully navigates the conversation, allowing Ruby to share her story authentically and inspiringly.

Whether you're a fan of Ruby Wax or seeking inspiration in personal growth and mental health, this episode delivers a compelling and heartfelt dialogue that resonates long after the conversation ends.

Notable Quotes

• Ruby Wax [06:30]: "I really want people to like me. That's what your career was like."
• Ruby Wax [13:48]: "He reminded me of everything that scares me... I became a child again."
• Ruby Wax [20:18]: "He tried to stab me with a banana. That went on American television on all the news channels."
• Ruby Wax [32:28]: "No, no, no, I didn't. I do in a primal way, the way an animal does."
• Ruby Wax [36:00]: "I think that Trump hates women. And I think my dad did, too."
• Ruby Wax [42:03]: "Only when I was 31, did somebody say this is depression."
• Ruby Wax [49:27]: "It's left it. Finally. It's an episodic disease."
• Ruby Wax [54:16]: "I couldn't do those shows. I didn't need it."
• Ruby Wax [56:00]: "I went to Oxford. That's my greatest accomplishment."
• Ruby Wax [57:23]: "Competing with the world. And that is if somebody has millions of viewers. I don't want to know."
• Ruby Wax [63:22]: "You can't do everything. That's why I studied therapy and mindfulness, is that this is the human condition, not my condition."
• Ruby Wax [64:00]: "That I can be funny."

Final Thoughts

For those interested in exploring more about Ruby Wax’s life and insights, her books and current projects offer an in-depth look into her journey. Jamie Lang encourages listeners to connect with the podcast through email or social media to share their thoughts and engage further with the show's community.

Subscribe to Great Company with Jamie Laing to stay updated with more inspiring conversations every Wednesday.

Note: Advertisements and non-content segments from the transcript have been excluded to maintain focus on the core interview content.