Great Company with Jamie Laing

Episode: Shirley Ballas on Growing Up Without a Dad | GREAT MOMENTS

Release Date: February 23, 2026
Guest: Shirley Ballas (Strictly Come Dancing judge, champion ballroom dancer)

Episode Overview

This episode features a powerful conversation with Shirley Ballas, celebrated for her role on "Strictly Come Dancing" and her distinguished dance career. Jamie Laing spotlights Shirley’s upbringing on a housing estate in Wallasey, England, focusing on her resilience in growing up without a father, the strength and sacrifices of her mother, and the impact of her early family life on her work ethic, relationships, and personal philosophy.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Childhood in Wallasey: Life Without a Father

• Setting: Shirley describes growing up in a working-class area near Liverpool, raised by a single mother after her father left when she was two.
• Financial hardship: Her mother worked multiple jobs to support Shirley and her brother, ensuring they never went without food or clean clothes.
• Social stigma:
  • “We were the two kids that were getting the free school dinners. The other children would stand at the gate and say, you don't have a dad. You're on welfare.” (Shirley Ballas, 03:50)
  • Shirley coped by focusing on the positive ("oh, I'm getting a free hot lunch"), while her brother struggled more with the stigma.

2. Influence of a Strong Mother

• Shirley’s mother, whom she calls "my queen," was the central figure of her life.
• She instilled in Shirley unwavering work ethic and the importance of responsibility and paying it forward:
  • “If you worked four hours, I'd be the one working eight… Nothing in life is for free.” (Shirley Ballas, 06:00)

3. Emotional Impact of Fatherlessness

• Delayed struggle: Shirley notes she didn’t realize the absence of a father until later in life, often comparing herself to friends who had supportive fathers.
  • “I used to look at my best friend… the dad would be making a fuss of her… I used to think, what's it like to have somebody that you're their queen?” (Shirley Ballas, 05:14)
• Relationships:
  • Describes her long history of turbulent relationships, attributing some challenges to not having witnessed a functional family structure.
  • “My relationships have been a disaster all the way along the line.” (Shirley Ballas, 06:41)
• Sense of independence: Shirley had to navigate life largely on her own, learning self-reliance from an early age.
  • “From age 10 all over the country on buses and trains while all the other kids’ mums and dads took them…” (Shirley Ballas, 07:45)

4. Reflections on Her Father’s Death

• Shirley discusses her conflicted emotions after her father passed away, underscoring the difference between biological ties and emotional connection.
  • “He never gave me anything while I was [alive]. Why would I fight for something when he's passed?” (Shirley Ballas, 08:41)
• Emotional distance persisted throughout adulthood:
  • “We never talked about ever how I felt, you know, and he never asked me either.” (Shirley Ballas, 08:57)
• Compared to the depth of her bond with her mother:
  • “I couldn't imagine losing my mother. That… will be very traumatic for me…” (Shirley Ballas, 09:15)

5. The Challenge of Trust and Vulnerability

• Shirley reveals she is not naturally trusting, with a small circle around her—a result of early experiences of neglect and having to fend for herself.
• Public life and vulnerability: She describes difficulties in opening up, especially under public scrutiny as a celebrity judge.
• Turning point:
  • Her son advised her after her first series on "Strictly" to "drop your walls and the barrier that you have around you" (10:32), recognizing the need to be more open for the sake of connection with others and her personal well-being.
• Experiences with the press made her even more guarded, especially following family tragedies.

6. Lessons Learned: Breaking the Cycle

• Shirley has strived to never repeat her father's broken promises or absence.
  • “If I make a promise to the best of my ability, I will carry it through. If I see somebody needs help, I will be the person that's there...” (Shirley Ballas, 14:05)
• She channels her energy into charity work, including mental health and cancer support, as a way to give back and create meaning.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On her mother’s strength:
  • “My mother is my queen. She did the best with the means she had.” (03:21)
• Perspective on work ethic:
  • “I would say had above average talent. But my work ethic was off the chart.” (06:00)
• On broken family promises:
  • “We’d get ready… standing by the window, never turned up over and over and over again... Never received a gift, never got a Christmas card or birthday card...” (12:54)
• On being in the public eye:
  • “There's always criticism. Whatever you do, whatever you say… And I think over the years, I've learned to drop a little bit more. But I've never talked really about my father in any interview, really.” (10:02, 12:14)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:21] Childhood in Wallasey, single-mother upbringing
• [04:29] Social stigma and coping mechanisms
• [05:14] Admiring “traditional” families from afar
• [06:00] Lessons in work ethic and self-discipline
• [06:41] Impact of fatherlessness on adult relationships
• [07:45] Early independence and trust issues
• [08:41] Emotional reckoning with absent father’s death
• [10:32] Barriers to vulnerability—advice from her son
• [12:54] Lasting childhood memories of rejection
• [14:05] Lessons she applies as a parent and friend

Episode Takeaways

Shirley Ballas's story is one of resilience, steely work ethic, and the power of maternal love in the face of adversity. While growing up without a father left deep and lasting marks—especially on trust and relationships—her mother's example taught her perseverance and shaped her into the woman she is today. Shirley’s life is a testament to channeling pain into purpose, demonstrating how adversity can inspire compassion and a drive to help others.

Further listening:
To hear the full conversation and more reflective stories, check out Shirley’s original episode on Great Company (link in show notes).