Podcast Summary: SHIRLEY BALLAS: THE STRICTLY CURSE COULD HAPPEN ANYWHERE

Great Company with Jamie Laing
Host: Jamie Laing
Guest: Shirley Ballas
Release Date: December 11, 2024

Introduction

In this deeply personal and inspiring episode of Great Company with Jamie Laing, host Jamie Laing engages in a heartfelt conversation with Shirley Ballas, a renowned judge from the popular UK show Strictly Come Dancing. Produced by JamPot Productions, the episode delves into Shirley's tumultuous upbringing, her illustrious dance career, personal struggles, and her unwavering resilience.

Early Life and Challenging Childhood

Shirley Ballas opens up about her upbringing in Wallasey, a housing estate near Liverpool, where she was raised by a single mother alongside her brother. The absence of a father figure led to significant hardships and emotional challenges.

• Facing Adversity: Shirley recounts the bullying she and her brother endured at school for relying on free school dinners, highlighting the stigma attached to their family situation.

  "The other children would stand at the gate and say, you don't have a dad, you're on welfare. And they'd, you know, really quite mean to us." ([07:54])

• Mother's Strength: She praises her mother’s relentless work ethic, detailing how her mother juggled multiple jobs to ensure they had clean clothes and a semblance of normalcy despite financial hardships.

  "She taught me work ethic. She had four jobs at one time... nothing in life is for free." ([09:23])

Dance Career Beginnings

Shirley’s passion for dance ignited at the age of two with ballet and tap, but it was at seven that she truly found her calling upon discovering the waltz and cha-cha.

• Discovery of Dance: Drawn by music in a church hall, she took her first steps into ballroom dancing, a journey that would define her future.

  "People think, you know, that you find dance. And I didn't find dance first, I found music first." ([22:46])

• Early Training and Sacrifices: Balancing rigorous dance training with limited resources, Shirley often walked miles to her classes, showcasing her commitment and determination from a young age.

  "I was insistent... where there was a will, there was a way." ([27:14])

Personal Struggles and Loss

Shirley bravely discusses the profound impact of her brother's suicide, a traumatic event that occurred 21 years prior to the recording. This loss deeply affected her and shaped her involvement with mental health charities.

• Impact of Suicide: She shares the emotional turmoil surrounding her brother's death and the societal lack of understanding around mental health at the time.

  "He'd lost a lot of weight and the doctors couldn't help him... he was too embarrassed." ([30:15])

• Charitable Work: Committed to making a difference, Shirley dedicates a significant portion of her time to organizations like the Suicide Foundation, CALM, Macmillan Cancer, Alderhey Children's Hospital, and Centrepoint.

  "If I don't hear from a friend or I think somebody's struggling, I then stop everything I'm doing and then I will go around and sort of do my best to try to check in." ([33:00])

Resilience and Personal Growth

Throughout the conversation, Shirley emphasizes the importance of resilience, shaped by her life experiences and her mother’s influence.

• Therapy and Self-Reflection: With 17 years of therapy under her belt, Shirley reflects on the significance of self-love and overcoming the void left by her absent father.

  "What I am truly grateful is that at 87, I still have my mother... she's the only thing that's been a staple in my life." ([11:09])

• Compartmentalization: She describes her ability to compartmentalize personal grief while maintaining her professional demeanor on Strictly Come Dancing.

  "I press a big red button... light, camera, action, and on." ([66:43])

Strictly Come Dancing and the "Strictly Curse"

Shirley provides an insider's view of Strictly Come Dancing, highlighting the intense preparation and the so-called "Strictly Curse"—the phenomenon where participants' personal lives are heavily scrutinized and sometimes negatively impacted after the show.

• Behind the Scenes: She explains the demanding schedule, involving learning choreography in a short span and performing live before millions, stressing the show's unique challenges.

  "When you have to learn to dance the waltz, the cha cha, the American smooth... it's like learning a new language." ([39:39])

• Resilience in Competition: Shirley underscores that beyond talent, discipline, and work ethic are crucial for success in the competition.

  "Talent isn't what I've learned in my industry. The main thing, you need a little bit of talent, you need a very good brain and you need work ethic beyond anything." ([46:09])

Personal Relationships and Love

Shirley candidly discusses her relationships, marriages, and the emotional complexities that come with balancing love and her professional life.

• Early Marriage: Engaged to Nigel Tiffany at 16, Shirley's commitment to dance eventually led to the end of this relationship when she chose to pursue a professional partnership with Sammy Stopford.

  "If you go, we're done." ([52:19])

• Second Marriage: Her union with Sammy, initially professional, evolved into a lasting bond despite challenges, demonstrating her capacity to maintain meaningful relationships amidst turmoil.

  "He could be that person that I could call. I know he'd be there for me." ([62:37])

Legacy and Future Aspirations

Towards the end of the episode, Shirley reflects on her desire to be remembered for her charitable efforts and her role in helping others, emphasizing forgiveness and the importance of interpersonal connections.

• Giving Back: She aspires to leave a legacy of support and kindness, preferring to be remembered for her contributions rather than personal achievements.

  "I would like to be remembered for the people I helped... and for forgiveness." ([64:35])

• Autobiography and Fiction Writing: Shirley mentions her books, Behind the Sequins, Murder on the Dance Floor, and Dance to the Death, which blend her life experiences with fiction, offering an unfiltered glimpse into the dance industry.

  "All the drama in those books is definitely in my industry and not that I've witnessed on Strictly Come Dancing." ([64:21])

Notable Quotes

1. "Talent isn't what I've learned in my industry. The main thing, you need a little bit of talent, you need a very good brain and you need work ethic beyond anything." – Shirley Ballas ([46:09])

2. "What I am truly grateful is that at 87, I still have my mother... she's the only thing that's been a staple in my life." – Shirley Ballas ([11:09])

3. "I would like to be remembered for the people I helped... and for forgiveness." – Shirley Ballas ([64:35])

4. "If I don't hear from a friend or I think somebody's struggling, I then stop everything I'm doing and then I will go around and sort of do my best to try to check in." – Shirley Ballas ([33:00])

Conclusion

Shirley Ballas's story is one of resilience, dedication, and an unyielding commitment to personal growth and helping others. From a challenging childhood to becoming a celebrated figure in the dance world, Shirley's journey underscores the power of perseverance and the importance of supporting those in need. Her candid revelations provide valuable insights into the pressures of public life and the strength required to overcome personal tragedies.

Listeners are left inspired by Shirley’s unwavering spirit and her efforts to make a meaningful impact both on and off the dance floor. This episode serves as a testament to the human capacity to rise above adversity and the enduring bonds of family and friendship.

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