Podcast Summary:

Great Company with Jamie Laing
Episode: Spencer Matthews on Losing Someone You Love | GREAT MOMENTS
Release Date: February 9, 2026
Host: Jamie Laing
Guest: Spencer Matthews

Overview

In this profoundly moving episode, Jamie Laing sits down with Spencer Matthews to discuss the long-lasting impact of losing a loved one at a young age. Spencer shares the story of losing his brother Michael, who disappeared while climbing Everest when Spencer was just ten years old. The conversation delves into grief, the difficulty children have in processing loss, developing emotional resilience, and how tragedy shapes empathy, relationships, and self-worth. This special conversation offers candid insight into grief, the ripple effects of loss, and the journey to self-acceptance and healing.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Early Loss & Processing Grief as a Child

• Spencer’s Age and Experience

  • Spencer lost his brother Michael at age 10. He vividly recounts being told by his parents that Michael was "lost on the mountain."
  • “I kind of, I loved him dearly but obviously it was, he was in his mid-20s … so I was with Mike a lot. You know, Mike and I would, would play video games together, we’d play hide and seek together. You know, we, we were pals, you know and he would look after me and I would always feel that … he made me feel safe and he made me feel loved.” (03:05–03:51)

• How the News Was Delivered

  • The language used—“lost on the mountain”—created confusion for Spencer, who didn’t understand the finality of death at that age.
  • “It wasn’t definite. It would be definite to an adult but not to a kid. … Michael is lost on the mountain. And to a 10-year-old I was kind of like, well, I don’t understand what you mean, you know, surely. Okay, well he’ll, he’ll be found. It’s fine.” (04:24–04:41)

• Struggling with Acceptance

  • Even at the memorial service months later, the absence of Michael's body left Spencer clinging to fantasies that his brother might still return.
  • “It never hit me … it never hit me in the way that it would have hit James. … Whereas in many ways you’re happy that you’re a child in that instance, because … you don’t get the gut wrenching pain.” (06:12–07:10)

2. Lasting Impact of Loss & Emotional Numbness

• Perspective Shift

  • Losing his brother caused Spencer to develop a blunt, almost numb attitude towards other problems and difficulties in life.

  • “I developed this very blunt nature of, like, if you had a problem, I wouldn’t give a shit about your problem because it’s not as big as my problem, you know.” (07:17–08:17)

  • Jamie reflects:
    “No wonder you were so blase about so many things. Because it doesn’t matter because I lost my brother.” (10:09–10:21)

  • Spencer agrees, describing a kind of emotional insulation:
    “If you think I’m a prick because of that, then so what … there was a lot of that in my teenage years.” (10:21–10:43)

• Difficulty with Empathy

  • Spencer notes that such a loss made empathy harder to access for everyday issues.
  • “It gives you a lack of empathy as well. So I, I am. I do have empathy, but I’m not, it’s not easily accessible because ... my brother died.” (08:32–08:45)

3. Impacts on Mental Health and Behaviour

• On Drinking as a Coping Mechanism

  • Spencer talks candidly about how unresolved trauma and bottled-up feelings contributed to problematic drinking in his adult life:
    “I spoke to a therapist once about the turbulent drinking, the nature of my drinking … I’d come to and I’d be like, just in some bar somewhere … I wouldn’t be sure how I’d got to the place that I’m in.” (11:00–12:03)

  • On lying to loved ones and recognizing a problem: “I would drink quite early in the morning ... and then I’d go about my day and I’d lie to myself about stuff, you know. … All of a sudden you’re living this little lie … and it begins to have an effect on your self-worth.” (12:04–13:48)

4. Recovery and Growth

• Moving Beyond Trauma
  • Spencer shares gratitude for having moved on from addictive behaviors and demonstrates self-awareness in recognizing the impact his brother's death has had on his personality and life choices.
  • “I’m a million miles from there now and you know, I’m really thankful that I was able to achieve that.” (13:48)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Childhood Grief:
  “He made me feel safe and he made me feel loved … he was everything to me as a, as I wanted to be just like him really.” — Spencer Matthews (03:51)

• On the Incomprehensibility of Loss:
  “Michael is lost on the mountain. And to a 10-year-old I was kind of like, well I don’t understand what you mean … lost, you know, to an adult or anyone that knows anything about Everest … your Chance of survival is slim.” — Spencer Matthews (04:41–04:53)

• On Numbness and Perspective:
  “If you had a problem, I wouldn’t give a shit about your problem because it’s not as big as my problem … it’s this strange thing where almost nothing matters.” — Spencer Matthews (07:17–08:17)

• On Self-Worth and Recovery:
  “You start to do less. And for me that’s like, that’s real like the house is burning down mentality … I’m a million miles from there now and … thankful that I was able to achieve that.” — Spencer Matthews (13:32–13:48)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:27 – Jamie introduces the episode and Spencer’s loss
• 03:05–03:51 – Spencer discusses his relationship with Michael
• 04:24–04:41 – How the loss was explained to him as a child
• 06:12–07:10 – The drawn-out process of understanding finality
• 07:17–08:17 – The development of emotional numbness and bluntness
• 08:32–08:45 – Lack of empathy explained
• 11:00–13:48 – Spencer describes his struggles with alcohol and steps towards recovery

Tone & Style

The conversation holds a vulnerable, honest, and reflective tone. Jamie and Spencer’s dynamic is empathetic, direct, and supportive, allowing for candid admissions without judgment. Their friendship fosters openness about emotional struggles, loss, and personal flaws.

Takeaways

• Childhood grief is uniquely complicated and often not fully processed until later in life.
• Profound loss fundamentally alters a person’s perception of other problems, sometimes leading to emotional numbness or diminished empathy.
• Coping mechanisms—healthy or otherwise—often evolve in the aftermath of trauma; recognizing and seeking help is crucial for recovery.
• Open discussions about grief and mental health are vital for healing, reducing stigma, and fostering genuine understanding and connection.