GREAT COMPANY with Jamie Laing

Episode: SPENCER MATTHEWS: OUR FIRST HONEST CONVERSATION ABOUT OUR FRIENDSHIP

Release Date: September 23, 2025

Overview

In one of the most candid episodes of Great Company, Jamie Laing invites his longtime friend and former Made in Chelsea co-star, Spencer Matthews, for their first honest, public conversation about their decades-long friendship. The discussion traverses the highs and lows of their relationship, touching on miscommunication, emotional suppression, personal trauma, sobriety, and personal growth. With raw honesty, both open up about past hurts, the impact of loss, public scrutiny, and how fatherhood and their partners have shaped them as men and friends.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Reckoning with a Rocky Friendship

[00:00–14:43; 41:46–47:29]

• Jamie and Spencer recount being “thick as thieves” during Made in Chelsea years but explain how their bond frayed.
• The main rupture: Jamie didn’t invite Spencer to his English wedding. Spencer admits deep confusion and hurt:

  “I found it pretty confusing… I was pretty hurt by that. And I tried to brush that under the table… but the more I thought about it, the more I… felt that it did matter.” (Spencer, 09:44)

• Jamie admits anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, and a lack of communication were to blame:

  “I was just thinking about her [Sophie], and you… I just went, fine. It’s one thing less to think about. I just won’t ask him to come.” (Jamie, 12:25)

• Both reflect on how old habits—Spencer's avoidance of stag dos due to sobriety, Jamie’s sensitivity to rejection—allowed misunderstandings to fester.
• Both agree: almost everything would’ve been resolved if they’d communicated directly at the time.

2. The Cost of Miscommunication

[14:44–16:19; 41:46–43:52]

• Jamie describes his sensitivity to rejection; Spencer didn’t realize his actions were hurtful.
• “It’s a breakdown of communication. You know, in retrospect, I probably should have come to a stag do for two nights and just not drank…” (Spencer, 14:52)
• Jamie: “Friends are like a garden. You have to water them to keep them alive… and you forget to water your friends.” (Jamie, 42:51)

3. Public Perception & Media Stories

[15:44–21:24]

• The press exaggerated their distance, adding pressure and hurt.
• Headlines speculated on “feuds” and “snubs” regarding Jamie’s ultramarathon.
• Spencer feels unjustly criticized for not being present:

  “I got loads of shit for storying it and not main paging it… Same thing to me.” (Spencer, 20:04)

• Jamie: “It was kind of upsetting… definitely for me.” (Jamie, 15:46)

4. Reflecting on Grief and Emotional Suppression

[27:42–34:31; 54:03–55:51]

• Spencer shares deeply about losing his brother Mike on Everest when he was 10.
• The loss was talked about in vague language (“lost on the mountain”) that Spencer couldn’t process as a child.
• Emotional aftermath:

  “I assumed that he was going to come back… for me, he was alive and well.” (Spencer, 30:29)

• Suppressed pain led Spencer to struggle with empathy, particularly for “everyday” problems:

  “I developed this very blunt nature of, like, if you had a problem, I wouldn’t give a… about your problem because it’s not as big as my problem.” (Spencer, 51:45)

• Jamie observes how this grief shaped Spencer:

  “Because that happened to you at such [a] young age… after that, you’re just like, well, that doesn’t matter compared to what happened.” (Jamie, 54:34)

5. Addiction, Therapy, and Change

[56:02–60:47]

• Spencer openly shares about the severity of his former alcoholism:

  “It got to a point where I began… to kind of black out a bit… I would drink quite early in the morning… I might have a sneaky shot of tequila or something at 9am.” (Spencer, 56:02)

• Describes lying to loved ones, self-worth erosion, and why he stopped drinking.
• Explains how slow, consistent change—sobriety, fitness, therapy—rebuilt his self-belief and stabilized his life:

  “I felt like a slave before, whereas now I’m in complete control… it stems from an immense feeling of self-belief.” (Spencer, 58:43)

6. Growth, Parenting, and Making People Proud

[61:57–65:16]

• Jamie reads a touching message from Spencer’s mother, affirming the pride and love of his family:

  “What he’s achieved through his endurance challenges for admirable causes has been remarkable… we couldn’t be more delighted with him as a son.” (Jamie reading Jane Matthews, 62:27)

• Both discuss fatherhood as a powerful lens for understanding their parents, and their own ongoing desire to make loved ones proud.

7. Admiration for their Partners

[65:16–66:17]

• Spencer credits Vogue Williams for modeling empathy, selflessness, and pushing him to be better:

  “She’s a very empathetic person. She’s just a good heart, a good soul… she will always consider the other person.” (Spencer, 65:20)

8. Made in Chelsea: Reflections and Regrets

[44:08–53:41]

• Neither look back fondly on their on-screen personas. Spencer expresses regret over his portrayal, and the toll excessive drinking took.
• On whether he’d redo Made in Chelsea:

  “No, I think I would keep it.” (Spencer, 46:49)

• Jamie acknowledges both sought validation and it didn’t bring true happiness.

9. Honesty, Reconciliation, and the Future

[66:26–71:03]

• Jamie: “At the end of all of this… are we friends?”

  “Of course.” (Spencer, 66:35)

• Both express hope for the future, acknowledge past flaws, and stress the need for ongoing communication.
• Jamie concludes with a key learning:

  “What I learned from this episode today is you just got to communicate… life’s too short to have feuds and to be miserable with each other.” (Jamie, 70:45)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|------------|-------| | 09:44 | Spencer | “I found it pretty confusing… I was pretty hurt by [not being invited to the wedding]…” | | 13:46 | Jamie | “The biggest mistake I made at that is not communicating with you and just… I was very selfish.” | | 14:52 | Spencer | “It’s a breakdown of communication. In retrospect, I probably should have come to a stag do… and just not drank.” | | 41:46 | Jamie | "Friends are like a garden. You have to water them to keep them alive… and you forget to water your friends." | | 27:45 | Jamie | “How old are you when your bro died again?” Spencer: “10.” Jamie: “Really?” | | 30:29 | Spencer | “I assumed that he was going to come back. For me, he was alive and well…” | | 51:45 | Spencer | “If you had a problem, I wouldn’t give a… about your problem because it’s not as big as my problem.” | | 56:02 | Spencer | “I would drink quite early in the morning… might have a sneaky shot of tequila or something at 9am.” | | 58:43 | Spencer | “I felt like a slave before, whereas now I’m in complete control…” | | 62:27 | Jamie (reading Jane Matthews) | “What he’s achieved through his endurance challenges for admirable causes has been remarkable… we couldn’t be more delighted with him as a son.” | | 65:20 | Spencer | “[Vogue]… will always consider the other person. She’s a very empathetic person. She’s just a good heart, a good soul.” | | 66:35 | Spencer | “Of course [we’re friends].” | | 70:45 | Jamie | “You just got to communicate… life’s too short to have feuds and to be miserable with each other.” |

Timestamps for Key Segments

• The Rift and Wedding Fallout: 00:00–14:43
• Breakdown of Communication: 14:44–16:19
• Media, Feuds & Perception: 15:44–21:24
• Public and Private Friendship: 41:46–47:29
• Processing Childhood Grief: 27:42–34:31; 54:03–55:51
• Alcoholism and Sobriety: 56:02–60:47
• Family Pride and Parenting: 61:57–65:16
• Their Partners' Influence: 65:16–66:17
• Reconciliation and Conclusion: 66:26–71:03

Tone & Takeaways

This episode is raw, honest, humorous, and at times unguarded—true to Jamie and Spencer’s personalities. The conversation moves seamlessly from banter to deep self-reflection. The episode is especially insightful for anyone interested in male friendships, emotional growth, the long-term effects of childhood trauma, and how communication (or the lack thereof) can make or break meaningful relationships.

Final words:

“Forgiveness and making up—you know, life’s too short to have feuds and to be miserable with each other.” (Jamie, 70:45)

For listeners: If you value open conversation and want a masterclass in male friendship, vulnerability, and the power of saying “I’m sorry,” this episode should not be missed.