TOM DAVIS: I Lost Friends When I Quit Alcohol - But This Is What It Taught Me

Summary

Great Company with Jamie Laing
Guest: Tom Davis
Episode Title: TOM DAVIS: I Lost Friends When I Quit Alcohol - But This Is What It Taught Me
Release Date: March 4, 2026

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Episode Overview

This dynamic, laugh-out-loud, and moving conversation sees Jamie Laing hosting comedian and actor Tom Davis. The episode arcs from the pair’s early work together on "Murder in Successville" to Tom’s personal journey of quitting alcohol, navigating depression, the power and fragility of male friendship, fatherhood, and the reality behind resilience and self-belief in comedy. Tom opens up with sharp honesty about losing friends as he left alcohol behind, the struggle to be 'present' as a partner and parent, overcoming imposter syndrome, and rediscovering joy through stand-up.

Tone: Warm, candid, self-deprecating, and full of comedic detours.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Reminiscing on "Murder in Successville" & Career Beginnings

• The Risk of "Murder in Successville":

  • Tom shares the project's rocky origins; rejected by every channel and nearly derailed by guests pulling out.
  • Jamie was the first guest, chosen despite BBC3’s reluctance about "reality stars."
  • “If he fucks it, we'll just make it episode five … and if that hadn't worked, I was like, I'd have just, I probably would have just quit at that point.” (Tom Davis, 38:32)

• Career on the Line:

  • Both hosts reflect on financial struggle and putting it all on the line for a chance in the industry.
  • “Me and my wife, we'd lost financially, we'd lost our flat. We were like, living back on my parents. There's so much riding on that. This is the thing that has to work.” (Tom, 00:14 & 38:32)

• The Inclusive Spirit in Comedy:

  • Tom’s goal was always a comedy where everyone feels funny – rejecting mean-spiritedness for contagious, collaborative laughter.
    • “I love being inclusive with it …never really bother[ed] me if I'm the punchline.” (Tom, 05:10)

Timestamps:

• [05:07] Jamie’s anxiety as the series' first guest; Tom’s pitching battle.
• [11:28] The making of Jamie’s iconic episode and its cult following.

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2. Male Friendships & Emotional Honesty

• Enduring Friendships:

  • Tom is "huge on male friendships," describing profound lifelong bonds with people like James (since age 14) and Ramesh, offering rare spaces for vulnerability.
    • “We have this whole rhetoric at the moment of like, men should talk, but I don't really know what to say.” (Tom, 01:05, 21:14)

• Emotional Openness versus Masking:

  • Tom describes how he used comedy and party persona as a mask to cover depression and self-doubt.
    • “Which is a mask that I wore for a long time… It was an easier thing to be that person.” (Tom, 24:04)

• Support Networks:

  • Importance of being checked on by emotionally aware friends, and the struggle many men have articulating feelings.
    • "I can text Rom a really, like any sort of, like a text that I won't think there's much to it. And he will. He'll click and go, 'you're right'." (Tom, 24:04)

Timestamps:

• [21:06–21:45] The struggle and beauty of male support networks.
• [22:54] Why it’s hard for men to “actually say how we’re feeling.”

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3. Quitting Alcohol: Crisis, Loss & Renewal

• Drinking as Self-Medication:

  • Tom was drinking 4-6 times a week, “lost and depressed,” hiding by working hard and staying busy.
    • “I loved the madness. I loved the craziness of alcohol and being around and the camaraderie of the lads and the chaos.” (Tom, 25:56)

• Trigger to Change:

  • Alcohol poisoning after the England Euro finals tournament became a wake-up call.
  • Surrounded by friends who weren’t “wholesome,” he realized he wasn’t talking about anything real.
    • “I was going through a lot… the people I was just surrounding myself with… this isn't a wholesome surrounding for me.” (Tom, 28:26–29:24)

• Losing Friends, Gaining Presence:

  • Admits to losing some friendships along the way, as drink-fueled bonds faded, but underlines becoming a present father and partner.
    • “My wife needed me to be better than that. She needed a guy who's got her back…” (Tom, 24:04, 29:24)

• The Miracle of Fatherhood:

  • After years of infertility and loss, his daughter Grace’s birth shifts his focus: “I'm all or nothing… the better all or nothing is to be an all or nothing dad as Tom Davis, rather than being an all or nothing… drinking.” (Tom, 27:41)

Timestamps:

• [24:04–28:14] Quitting drinking, the struggles and family turning point.
• [28:26–31:49] The moment of reckoning; what changed.

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4. Success, Rejection, and Returning to Stand-Up

• Childhood & Confidence:

  • “I was terrible at school… I was naughty and loud… I was just… time dyslexic and had ADD. But, you know, it wasn't diagnosed.” (Tom, 32:39–33:09)

• Constant Rejection:

  • School years of being told “not good enough” cemented a default assumption of failure, fueling imposter syndrome and making risk-taking both terrifying and vital.
    • “That’s why I stopped stand up for like six years. I didn't do, I wouldn't go on stage.” (Tom, 36:37)

• Stand-Up’s Pressure & Perfectionism:

  • After early enthusiasm, rising expectations undermined enjoyment: “When I had a gig in the evening, I wouldn't eat… so anxious... If this goes badly, that'll be it. I'll be out of the industry.” (Tom, 40:15)

• Peers as Anchors:

  • Romesh Ranganathan and others encouraged his return, reminding him to accept imperfection and rediscover the “shambolic,” joyful roots of his craft.
    • “When I'm at my best on stage, it's when it's slightly shambolic… and I'm very honest about that.” (Tom, 42:30–43:11)

Timestamps:

• [36:36–42:26] Failing upwards, imposter syndrome; quitting and returning to stand-up.
• [44:37] “Ego is the killer of everything.” – Humility’s role in art and life.

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5. Creativity, Social Media & Comparison

• On Ego and Feedback:

  • Importance of true friends, honest feedback, keeping one’s ego in check.
    • “Ego is the killer of everything. I think Bill Bailey said it better than me… you have to always know that you’re the lowest thing in the room.” (Tom, 44:37)

• Dangers of Social Media:

  • The toxicity of comparison—“how can I compare myself to [Matthew] McConaughey?”—and the illusion of overnight success.
    • “We now live in a world where everything is so open, the world has become so tiny that we're all just constantly… comparing ourselves.” (Tom, 45:19–47:26)

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6. Stand-Out Anecdotes & Humour

• Hilarious Tube Story:

  • Tom’s humiliating (and now treasured) story about being accused of stinking on a London Underground carriage by a group of mean girls.
    • “I'm like—my ego, I can't take this. I'm sort of trying to make myself look small at 6 foot 7, drenched in sweat now … this girl just looks at me cold in the eye … ‘oy, mate, you fucking stink.’ … Three stops before my actual stop, I had to get off. I'm ostracized, thrown off. And I think, it's not even fucking me, me. Stinky's still on the tune.” (Tom, 54:06–57:02)

• Chalamet Banter:

  • Winning comedic chemistry with Wonka co-star Timothée Chalamet—
    • “He used to take weird pictures of me, like, in my outfits and send them to me … I sent him about eight messages. He’s very sweet.” (Tom, 51:45–52:14)

• "Candy Kittens" Dispute:

  • Only time Tom and Ramesh argued: over candy kittens in a dressing room, likened to “two cokeheads arguing over the last line.”
    • (57:21)

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7. Quickfire Round: Personal Insights & Reflections

• Best Compliment:

  • “Are you a good enough husband? Are you a good enough dad? … My wife … she was very sweet and she said that everything, that I hope the version of me is enough.” (Tom, 58:37)

• Last Time He Cried:

  • Watching his daughter’s joy at the Vienna Spanish Riding School, despite travel chaos and mishaps. (59:33)

• Guilty Pleasures:

  • “Shit reality tv. I love like Below Deck…” (62:56)

• Turn-Offs:

  • “An alpha sort of aggressive nature … intolerance.” (63:35–64:22)

• Turn-Ons:

  • “Laughter. I think being around people. I think fun. I think just having a laugh together…” (65:50)

• What He Likes Most About Himself:

  • “I enjoy being. I, I'm a friendly guy … I like having a laugh.” (66:52)

• Celebrity Crush:

  • Sam Fox (classic 80s nod).

• Unforgettable Kiss:

  • On-screen with Olivia Colman—she was a “rock” during hard times. (67:39)

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Notable Quotes

• “If I'm all or nothing, the better all or nothing is to be an all or nothing dad as Tom Davis, rather than being an all or nothing, you know, drinking and her [my wife] sitting there, me not being present enough.” (Tom, 27:41)
• “We have this whole rhetoric of ‘men should talk, but I don't really know what to say.’” (Tom, 21:14)
• “Ego is the killer of everything.” (Tom, 44:37)
• “I never thought I was any good. That’s why I stopped stand up for six years.” (Tom, 36:36)
• “Sometimes you don’t need deep chat… Sometimes you just need to blow off a little bit of steam and just, you know, have a laugh with your pals.” (Tom, 29:26)
• “People are interesting. That’s the thing that we, we misconstrue.” (Tom, 49:22)

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Memorable Moments

• [54:06–57:02] Tom’s stinky tube story: Captures the self-deprecating British humour and the vulnerability behind comedic bravado.
• [51:45–52:36] Messages with Timothée Chalamet: Surreal behind-the-scenes celebrity exchange.
• [57:21] Candy Kittens argument: British comedy at its finest about sweets, not substances.

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Takeaways

• Tom Davis demonstrates that “funny” is rooted in genuine connection and vulnerability—not deflection or bravado.
• Personal growth often means shedding old identities, even if it costs friends or comfort.
• Male friendships can (and should) be spaces for emotional support, not just banter—though banter helps.
• Present parenthood, honesty with partners, and accepting failure all nurture resilience and authentic joy.
• Success stories are messy—often built on setbacks, doubts, and years of unseen hustle.

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For more: Tom Davis is touring—get tickets for a night of infectious laughter, vulnerability, and, undoubtedly, more stories of chaos and hope.

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Transcript

[A]

Coming up on Great Company Murder and successful kid got rejected by every channel.

[B]

I was the first one, wasn't I?

[A]

And the risk on that was massive.

[B]

And I've seen a pigeon eat some bread.

[A]

Me and my wife, we'd lost financially, we'd lost our flat. We were like, living back on my parents. There's so much riding on that. This is the thing that has to work.

[B]

And you picked me. Yeah, but absolutely. Moron.

[A]

If he fucks it, we'll just make it episode five. And if that hadn't worked, I was like, hi, I'm Tom Davis and I'm in Great Company Boy from Croydon. This is pretty mad. Do you think people have sex with my wife behind my back? No. They do. Here we are, Mr. Wonka. Home sweet home. Let's welcome a man with whom laughter is contagious. It's Tom Davis. I was probably at the time, I was drinking four, five, six times a week. I was lost, I was depressed. My wife needed me to be better than that. She needed a guy who's got her back, having grace. And what was truly really a miracle because we'd ruled out being parents. I'm all or nothing to be an all or nothing dad as Tom Davis, rather than me not being present enough.

[B]

You're, like, huge on male friendships.

[A]

We have this whole rhetoric at the moment of like, men should talk, but I don't really know what to say. I'm lucky. I can text Roma. Really text that. I won't think there's much to it, but he'll click and go, you're right.

[B]

Did you message Chalamet when he won?

[A]

Yeah. I don't know if we could use this. He had this weird thing of like,

[B]

Hello, everyone, My name is Jamie Laing and this is Great Company. Guys. Welcome back to another episode of Great Company. Now, firstly, thank you so much for coming back. That probably means you love the show or like the show or it may mean that you love our guest today. Now, our guest is the incredible actor and comedian and friend of mine, Tom Davis. Okay, Tom is amazing. I first met him years ago when we did a show together called Murder In Successful. It was a BBC3 show. It's now a little bit on Netflix and it's an improv show where Tom plays a police officer and celebrities, come on. They have no idea what's happening, but they also play a police officer and they have to solve a crime. Tom was actually the co creator of Murder and successful. It is a genius, hilarious concept. If you haven't seen it, go and watch it. We reminisced about the show today. We talk about Merle friendships. Tom has also quit alcohol, which was kind of surprising in lots of different ways. And he talks about the struggles with alcohol. I mean, there is so much going on in this episode. I cannot wait to see it. And of course, it's probably one of the funniest episodes we've ever recorded. Recorded. Because Tom is his genius, amazing, hilarious self. Okay, so get ready for this. Okay, now, before we start, if I could just do one thing that would be if you could please subscribe to our show. It means we can keep getting amazing guests, keep making our show better and better each week, and keep delivering a free show for you guys. If you can do that one thing, I'll thank you forever. Okay, here we go. Enjoy this hilarious, amazing episode of Great Company with Tom Davis.

[A]

Hi, I'm Tom Davis, and I'm in Great Company.

[B]

When you do a podcast, right? I don't like doing an intro in front of someone.

[A]

No, no, no. I find them awful.

[B]

Because if you had to give me an intro, what would you. What would you say?

[A]

It's very hard because I. I sort of think we've moved away from that. Remember that sort of disingenuous way of being sort of like roasting someone but then being affectionate? I think you. You're actually, like, very special person to me in genuinely, so I think I'd pick you up somewhat.

[B]

Get out of here.

[A]

Every time I see you, I feel very like you've just got a very infectious way. I think it's a very special thing in humanity if you see you at somewhere. I look at, like, little pivotal moments of. Of my career. But, yeah, like, when I remember seeing you, I remember being the Wonka premiere, being so anxious. I had so much going on in my head. I was terrified of seeing. Seeing the film. I hadn't seen it. Everyone else had. And we had this really weird day before. Like, we're all casted together, and everyone's going, hey, you seen the movie? And I'm like, no, I haven't seen it yet. All right, okay. Why haven't you watched it? And I thought. I thought we all just watched it at the premiere. That's what we did. And they're like, oh, no, no, we got sent. You haven't seen it? And I'm like, oh, fuck. Like, it's like, have I been cut from this film? And then Olivia was like, well, you haven't seen it. You haven't seen it. So I remember being so Worried. And then I remember coming down the red carpet and seeing you and Sophie interview, and you just were like, hey, man, have you seen a film? You're great, Brit. And I was like, oh. And it was like, you know, a way off. But just. That's a very nice. I think it's a human sort of trait that's.

[B]

Well, can I say that I'm going to return the favor? I think you want the funniest person I know.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

But hands down, funny. And I think there's like, different forms of funny.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So there's like. I think there's funny where people can just be funny with, like, statements. They can like, say funny things like, okay, fine, that's funny. You get people who are like, funny, like, physically they're funny, but you're like gen. You're generous funny. You make everyone laugh and then make everyone feel funny as well at the same time. And that for me is like the greatest form of, like, comedy and things, so. And I'm jealous because whenever I see you do any. It doesn't matter if it's your stand up, your chose whatever it is. I see you on like a golfing channel. I saw you went golfing with like, Jimmy Bullard.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like the funniest thing I've ever seen.

[A]

That's very kind. I just think it's also. It's like a. I love being inclusive with it. I think that's. That was the. That was a big thing of like when we did Murder and Successful and like the. That was the thing where you were like, trying to. I think everyone thought at the time there was quite a lot of that sort of mean comedy around. And actually my thing was always like, how do we get people in to have a laugh and feel funny and give them the confidence to. So my thing was always like. It never really bothers me if I'm the punchline or not. It was just like making like. I mean, we set ourselves quite a high bar. Cause you were our first guest for.

[B]

Well, I was the first one, wasn't I?

[A]

The first guest of the series. Yeah, you're the first person who came through it. We'd done like a pilot before, and the pilot which we had Connor Maynard, I believe, and it was very different. I mean, that show went on such a journey. I think it got rejected by every channel.

[B]

Are you serious?

[A]

Yeah. Like, it's insane, like, for people who

[B]

don't know what murder success was, what was it?

[A]

So it was like an improvised cop show where you'd Have a celebrity guest would come in, have no idea what we were going to do at all, and come in for two days of filming. And we made up like, these, you know, a murder case. And. And so our first guest was you. And you're like, okay, this is like, you know, not like I remember because I. I was obsessed with Made in Chelsea. Me and my wife used to watch Made in Chelsea all the time.

[B]

I remember you said this to me. I. I saw you in an event and you were like. You were like, not even if you're like, man, I love you. I was like, thanks, man. And you were like, I got this show about, you know, I really want you to be on it. And I was like, yeah, yeah. And I was like. And I had so much imposter syndrome. I was like, oh, thank you very much. Thank you very well.

[A]

No, it was a really weird thing because, like, I love reality TV and I love that sort of stuff. And me and my wife would watch it and I'd met you at a few things. I knew Spencer a bit. Yeah. And I just remember saying, I think Jamie Lang. And they were like, well, from Made in Chelsea. I said, I think he'd be really, really funny. He's really infectious. And BBC3 at the time were like, no ways. No. They were like, we're not sure. And that everyone, like, you know, you can say.

[B]

You can say no, no.

[A]

They were really worried. They were really risk adverse about having reality stars. And I was like, I just think he'd be really, really funny. And I think he is naturally funny. And I'd met you a few times. We've been out and I just thought, I just. There's just something. And I was like, even if he, like, we'll make it the first one. And me, Andy and James are like, you know, so we sort of. Because we were all finding it. And the risk on that was massive. Not just for you, but for everyone, like, because no one kind of knew how the direction we were taking it was going to work. We were very. It was like the nerves of everyone involved. For me, massive. Because I was like, you know, at that time, you know, me and my wife were skin. And you're, like, trying, you know, you put everything into this show to be a success. You're like, this has to work. And I remember, like, we got you in. Yeah, but the pressure's great.

[B]

You picked me.

[A]

No, no, but you're absolute moral. I mean, if. I'm gonna be really honest with you, I fought with. If he fucks it, we'll just make it episode five and we'll know what the mistakes are for when we get Dermot and Deborah in.

[B]

Let's get the big guy.

[A]

We'd had like three people. Cause people were really worried about it. Yeah, three people had pulled out. Not you. Like you were always there. Greg was there and I think Dermot. But then we'd had. Other people were just pulling it, like Deborah was. We got Deborah the day before. Like literally someone else. I wouldn't name them. Quite a big star pulled out, said, I'm not doing it. Like, I'm not doing it.

[B]

Pete Andre.

[A]

No, Peter would have been great. Peter still thinks I'm a bodyguard. I didn't know I met Peter Andre. This is a really bizarre story. I knew Ed Sheeran a bit before he got famous. Really famous. I used to do a lot of Nando's stand up gigs. I used to host them.

[B]

Well, when he was like 12.

[A]

Yeah. I was a janitor at his school. Used to walk around when I was cleaning with a guitar.

[B]

You're gonna be a stuff to pieces.

[A]

That's lovely, son. You got a future in this game. I lost my job because he came to sleep on my sofa. We don't think that's right. He's 12. Peter Rodriguez, literally. So Edward, you. Edward turned up with these things and. And Rizzle Kicks and you have like up and coming bands and. And obviously Ed, you could tell. And I remember he'd been at a few things and we'd met him and hung out with him a bit. And then Dexter Fletcher's had a film, brilliant film called Wild Bill. There's a premiere, yeah. And I'm there with Ed and a team had just come out and people were like, all of a sudden. So I'm hanging around, everyone thinks he's my. I'm his bodyguard. And Peter Andre was like chatting to me and I was like, oh, you know, you were Ed. You're Ed's bodyguard. And I'm like, no, no, no, I'm an actor. And he went, all right, yeah, yeah. And I was like, no, no, I'm an actor and comedian. All right, I got you. Would you do a lot of. And he was like knowing, sort of like, oh, aren't we all? He's like, I got a tour coming up with you. I was like, I mean, I thought maybe I'd nick a couple of quid just following around Peter Andre, but. And then I just. And I saw him years later at a thing and I can't remember who I was with. And he just turned around to me and he was like, hey, man, you used to be Ed's guy, right? And I was like, no, no, I'm an actor. I've now got quite a big TV career now, Pete, you're popping up on things.

[B]

And what I liked about that, you kept his slight Australian accent in it, you know?

[A]

Cause over the.

[B]

Yes, it's slightly gone, but I can hear the.

[A]

I can hear if I've gone too much.

[B]

Just proving you're an actor.

[A]

This is a showreel. We've got this Australian part. We need to cast someone. Hey, I just saw Tom Davis on Jamie Langs. He sounds like an Australian guy who's been living in England for, like 15 years. But I'm sure if he pushed it. Tone it up. Tone it up. New Crocodile Dundee.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Yeah. So I can't remember.

[B]

You were saying someone pulled out.

[A]

Yeah, so someone pulled out. And. And we got. So. So when we came into like that, like, I remember like film, like filming your. The Two Days with you and. And like, there was so many bits, like, genuine. And it's a really mad thing to say. But, like, when I look back at what we wanted from that show, which was just to be funny. It was like, there's no.

[B]

Was that it you wanted.

[A]

I just wanted to be funny. I wanted, like.

[B]

Cause humor wins.

[A]

Yeah. And also the thing that I love the most when I watch stuff is just when everyone's being funny and it. And it sings and it's just great. And I think, you know, that's all I've ever wanted for my career is I love. I love making people laugh. I've done. No matter what I've done. And so that episode we remember filming the Two Days, James, the front, the director, like, and all of us kind, like, we were like, all like. That went really, really well. Just if you. If you go through that episode of, like, Jamie, it's me when I'm dressed up as though, like. And when we're tied to the chair and you just. So many different bits of it.

[B]

Can I just say that. Can I say for me, like, even though you're very kind about, like, the show being. For me, that was like a gateway to everything.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm not even kidding. For me, I. I was a reality star on E4.

[A]

Right.

[B]

He was just doing who people just thought, like, that's just some. It, you know, some kid who's just messing around. I wanted to murder successful. I went. I mean, I went and watched it in the production company's Offices. And we're going to watch it with my agent. And I was laughing so much.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

At it. At myself and you. Which is kind of like an awkward. I was laughing so much and I was like, this is really funny. When that episode went out, every. I still get into taxis, I still go to place, and people go, man, you're murdering successful episodes. It's the funniest thing I've ever seen. I go, it's still not. And also one of it, like, just for anyone who's, like a big fan of it because it has this cult following, right?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

You created and wrote the show from it, from the sort of celebrity, whatever you say, point of view. Which, like, I was playing, like, I was playing me, Jamie, but I was also. And the brief was, you're going to be a police officer, but also, can you play yourself? And I was like, all right, I guess I can do this. There is no brief apart from that. They were like, right, okay, so Di Sleep.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It wasn't even Tom. It's like, Di Sleep's in there. You're going to walk and you're going to talk to him.

[A]

And I was like, okay, if people don't see that. I wish we'd done more behind the scenes because, like, you'd have like a head, like, think over your head and you'd just be rocked up to a scene.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And then you wouldn't have you.

[B]

It's like you being taken hostage.

[A]

Yeah. It's very insane. It's like. Like now I look at it and I think of, like, you know, sounds. Makes me feel old and. And. But you look at and think like, now if you're doing that for, you know, you probably, like, online and through socials, you'd be doing a lot more stuff of, like, watching your journey go into it. Because I think that's the thing that people maybe was lost on people at times, is that just quite how little there was to go on. And, you know, I like it. But then it's weird because I've had a break from it now, like nearly 10 years, and then you're sort of. And now we're like, there's a conversation about bringing. Not bringing it back, because I just think I accomplish everything. I think. I think when you're doing. When you're making anything, I think like, my. I've always looked at this, this. This industry and being like, okay, how do you do you keep leveling? Like, when I. When we. That last series went out, I was like, this is incredible. And this has been an amazing show to make, but I' three years now, I don't want to do this for seven or eight or nine, like, and keep on doing the same thing. It feels like this has got to a point where I'm really, really proud of it. And the same thing goes really with like, even with like King Gary, I was like, we've done like, when it was freaking great and. But when we first went in, we were like, to BBC, that's what they want. They wanted a prime time family sitcom and we were like pitching other stuff that was a bit dark or a bit more silly or surreal. And I thought that would be a cool thing to try and write. Try and write something. No swearing and. And that goes out, you know, for the whole family. And so. But again, you're like, you write something and you go, I think, I think you, like, I've always tried to go, okay, how can I do something different? I feel very blessed to be in, like, this industry from, from the background I come in and like, quite how far I've gotten it. I feel a surprise every day. But I'm like, I think in a world, I think I love comedy. I love, you know, I've known massive ego trip to do anything but that. And I look at that world and making those things and how do you keep making. How could you make that into. How do you scale up on that? On that?

[B]

Do you think? So do you think there's like, okay, a way in, like the entertainment? Right. Which is where you can basically, like, you can tread water.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which is where you can just keep kind of doing the same thing and you can keep there. But if you really want to elevate, you have to take risks and you have to change and you have to move, otherwise you kind of just keep doing that same.

[A]

And also you got to take risk.

[B]

Like, you got to take those risks.

[A]

Stand up. It was like, stand up is the thing that, you know, pushed me from being on a building site at like 31, 32 to, to getting into this industry. I'd like. I just was like in a place where I'd done the same thing for a long, long time. I'd had odd jobs here and there that sort of changed up a bit. And I was like, let me just give this thing a go. And the first, you know, the first sort of, you know, I just loved it for, for. Wow. I'd never talked in front of an audience before. It wasn't like I came from something where I'd, you know, even at School. I'd not been that person. I was funny. I took the piss out of joke. I'd never had, like, a thing being on a stage or given a presentation. I was never picked for school plays, or if I was, it was a bit of like a tree. I remember my dad's got a story about. I was. I was doing a school play and I literally was like an essay in a school. It's like an extra. And I remember lots of, like, 20 people. Everyone else had a line and I was like a Sweet Seller or something like that, just at the back of the stage. And I'd been standing there, as you know, this sort of play was. And I thought, Christ is boring. I leant back and I leant on this bit of scenery and it just goes. And it started falling. It knocked something else. The whole scenery's falling down. And I just sort of, like, just stood there like it's there. Yeah.

[B]

Just trying to spiral.

[A]

Yeah. Who will buy my spirit? Own your moment, son. Own it. You. You have a. But. Yes, actually. Good.

[B]

I. I remember when I was in a school play, we did a school play called Smike. It was called Smike, and it was like. It was like a musical. And I played Boulder. He was like the cool kid.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And yeah, yeah, yeah. They knew who. Yeah, they were like.

[A]

They didn't even. They were just like, yeah, boulders here.

[B]

Like, just cast that guy here.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. The guy smoking outside. He won't want to be in a school play. What? Jamie Lang. Cool J. Even the teachers are scared of Jamie Lang.

[B]

Anyway, I remember I had to sing the song, which was Squeezy Had a Daughter Only. Squeezy had a daughter Only four for five, man. You want to see it when she hits that jab. Oh, yeah. Reeling out a rugged. And as I did it, I walked down the stairs and my opening line was like, well, you think you're sort of kind of cool. And I'd point my cane to someone in the audience and I pointed it to the headmaster and everyone went, ok. And I was like, yeah. And as I walked out, I was so overconfident, I started singing the last. The last verse. Verse. And so I completely wrote on stage like this fu.

[A]

Lang,

[B]

One of the other guys who was like an extra, realized I had done it, so getting on it and

[A]

so owned it, literally. It's like your little brick like that. I've got this. I've got this. Go, Milton.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And there's one kid at the back going,

[B]

So you. So you grew Up. You didn't do anything?

[A]

Not really, no. My mum tried to put me into like little drama groups and I just, I looked like. I mean, I looked about 25. When I was 7. I remember like, I remember when I was like a kid, we were all playing wrestling. We're obsessive wrestling over the park. And I was probably about nine and I was wrestling with some mates from school.

[B]

We used to go to the park and just wrestle.

[A]

Yeah, we'd be wrestling like WWE or like competitive, competitive wrestling. Wwe. Like jumping off like the. And I remember just, I'd got this guy in like a head sort of like full nelson hold and this like community police officer ran over and go, yeah, you get off from there, kids. I looked about 30, just sort of as a bloke who just sort of like slipped in and started grabbing up nine year olds. Come on, go for your kid. What are you doing, mate? I'm the same age as they are. How old are you? What, 16? Seven? Nine? Nine? You pervert.

[B]

Get off them. Get off them. They're just kids.

[A]

Dirty piece of. Oh my God.

[B]

You're like huge on male friendships.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And like just friends. Just friendships in general. And like James, from who you talk about, you notice since you were 14 years old. Yeah, right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And like I've seen an article where you've said you, you almost get emotional when you talk about him sometimes.

[A]

Yeah, massively. Like, I think it's. I think it's like, you know, you feel that. And I think over the last, certainly the few, last few years, we've been through quite a lot.

[B]

In what way?

[A]

Just the ups and downs of life. You know, having Grace, you know, from both sides of our relationship, you realize how important it becomes to have someone that you can. You're on this journey with. This journey is not a normal journey. And also like, Grace is your daughter. Yeah, Grace, my daughter. And how much like when it comes to sort of dependence on someone to sort of pick up a phone and actually just be eloquent about how you're feeling. I think it's a very interesting thing. I think I have that massively of Ramesh. I think like, you know, James and Ramesh, you a support network of people that, that you can text. And I think we, you know, it's a very interesting thing that we, we have this whole rhetoric at the moment of like getting, you know, men should talk. Men should talk. And that's an important thing to say. But actually when you break it down, the thing is, number one, it's like I remember talking to a pal, and he was going through an awful time. And sort of, he says, I keep hearing people saying men should talk, but I don't really know what to say. And actually, when you listen to, like, my wife and her friends talking about stuff they're going through the eloquent way and the supportive way, women will give everyone a voice piece and they'll give, like, really, like, good advice, or they'll turn around and go, oh, you know, well, why don't you try this? And, you know, it's really, really hard, I think, as a guy to actually open up and be sort of be enough emotionally aware that you're sort of letting people kind of get how you're feeling. Actually being open with those feelings is really, really important, mate. Dom.

[B]

100%. I got like. It's exactly that. As men, we can talk, but we never actually say how we're feeling.

[A]

And you.

[B]

And you women, because they. They gossip to each other in the best way. They say.

[A]

Also they say, I'm feeling this, I'm feeling we. We struggle still. I say this to my wife all the time. I struggle still with that. Even though I'm like, really, you know, I'm lucky I have guys around me that we've all sort of come into this world together. And I think it's very important. I think, look, I think, you know, where we sit, you know, in the world at the moment. Things are changing at a rapid, like, place in. In every situation. And I think asking people to be able to do that straight off the bat is. Is actually. It's almost unfair. You've got. You've got to coerce people into going, okay, look, this is how you do this thing. This is how you and I think radically asking people to change behavior. That has been, you know. Yeah. I've got.

[B]

But talk with your experience. What happened? What were you feeling?

[A]

Because you obviously.

[B]

Because. Because obviously what I'm getting from this, right, Tom, is like. Like, I know you.

[A]

Yeah. Right.

[B]

As like, so fun alpha.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Big, you know, life of the party, making everyone feel great. Like all that kind of thing.

[A]

Yeah. Which is a mask that I wore for a long time. And I think that was like a thing that, you know, was the. It was an easier thing to be that person. Like, like, you know, the reason I started stand up was like, I. I sort of was like, wow, I'm completely lost. I don't know what I'm doing with this, with my. And I, you know, to go in to do something and where you talk about risk. I was like, yeah, let's. I'll just try this thing. I'd see Mickey Flanagan. I thought, wow, he's funny. And I thought, let me just try this thing. Like, you know, I look at it now and think, you know, I was probably at the time I was drinking four, five, six times a week. I was, you know, I was lost. I was depressed. I think when I look now and look. Look across my. I've got certain triggers now that I know in my behavior. And this is the thing, like, things where I look at how I'm feeling in the morning, how the. How this day will pan out, how I start the day. And I had to be eloquent with my wife or Rom or whoever just to go. I can feel in this kind of way Rom, like, I can text Rom a really, like any sort of, like a text that I won't think there's much to it. And he will. He'll click and go, you're right. And I'm the same. We've very similar synergy in that. We're like, feel. It was very nice. It's a lovely thing. And that's grown over. You know, we chat a lot and we, you know, But I can see the. The thing. One of the reasons, and this is the thing I think with me quitting drinking was I'm not like, sitting here going, no one should drink. You should really should do that. Because I, you know, I had some of my best times, you know, stories I have now about, you know, drinking and ending up, like, spending a month in Las Vegas when I went for a week and partying for a month. And, like, I did insane things. I'd end up, you know, just, you know, on a Greek island after going out in Sutton for a few pies. Like, I loved it and I loved the madness. I loved the craziness of. Of alcohol and being around and the camaraderie of the lads and the chaos. Yeah, the man. Yeah.

[B]

And the way that it makes you just.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Forget everything else.

[A]

And also, like, I was good to be around. I wasn't like, like, you know, but I also was like, during, like, Covid and things, I started to, like, see certain behaviors and. And how I was the next day, how I was feeling and the day after that. And then, like, leveling up on drink or whatever, I was like, oh, no, no, this isn't. This has stopped becoming fun. And like, for me. And certainly when I knew I was going to be a dad and I'd, you know, I'd sort Of, you know, we'd ruled out being parents. Like, we, you know, we were sort of like, that was not gonna. Through like one thing and another. We were like, this isn't gonna happen for us. And I'd sort of. And I, I'd not dealt with that, I don't think in a particular brilliant way. I'd sort of fallen back into old habits and then of just drinking, drinking and also just probably working too hard and look at now covering up for everything.

[B]

Yeah, covering up again.

[A]

You put on a mask and you're like, oh, that's fine, I'm cool, you know, And I, you know what? I didn't talk about that really enough with people at the time. And me and Catherine talked about it obviously, and we almost kept like a private council and it wasn't really too. After that, you're opening up and actually I'm like, wow. Like, I didn't, you know, I didn't really. I sort of just let that sort of eat away at me and I. So I thought once we, you know, we went through this, you know, having Grace and. And what was truly, really a miracle. I know every child's a miracle. And I'm really like, conscious when I talk about this because we tried for seven years to have children and that never went for us at that time. And I remembered, like, every time you go into like a family party or you'd see friends, oh, you know, we're on a kid, we're gonna, you know, and you. There's a bit of you that's so happy for that person, but also you. You feel crushed. So whenever I'm talking about this, I try to be conscious the fact that this, it doesn't work out for everyone

[B]

on the other side.

[A]

Yeah. And it, and she was a miracle. Like, you know, that everything from. From the woman who got involved as a surrogate to. To having Grace, I then was like, as a man and as a dad that I want to be. And this is, that's. This isn't to cast any, you know, aspersion on anyone who, you know, because it's. Some people have got a handle on that stuff. For me, I didn't. I was like, if I. I'm all or nothing, that's just who I, you know, and the better all or nothing is to be an all or nothing dad as Tom Davis, rather than being an all or nothing, you know, drinking and her sitting there, you know, me not being present enough.

[B]

What was the moment for you when you were really struggling and perhaps feeling depressed and realized that you were drinking? Was there a moment that. Was it. Was it when your daughter was born or was there a little bit before that? We're like, something needs to change here.

[A]

I think before I kind of just. Do you know what? I was like, we would. It was, it was the, the Euro tournament. We played in England to play. I think we got. We got through to the final, we lost to Italy and I went to like, every game. I, I got. I got quite bad alcohol poisoning. But I also was like, I knew that I was. I, I sort of saw. I. I don't know, I, I saw it for what it was. There was like a lot going on for me at that time and I think I was like, the people I was just surrounding myself with weren't. I wasn't necessarily like, oh, okay, these are like whole. This isn't a wholesome surrounding for me. I was like, I'm. I'm having the same conversations, but I'm not, I'm not articulating any of the stuff that I'm going through right now. I'm not talking about anything that I'm going through. I'm not talking about any of my feelings. I'm turning up, you know, I'm chatting about, you know, whether I think Harry Kane's the best forward in the world, you know, and there's a lot going under the bonnet, but I'm not really here chatting about any of the stuff. And I was going through a lot at that point.

[B]

And you didn't even feel like there was space to do that.

[A]

No, no. And also just those people are around. There's nothing to take away from. They were like, you know, my mum has a great. Thing is you have friends for a reason, Friends for a season, friends for life. And at times you need people to be around, to be around for that moment in your life because that's what you need. Sometimes you don't need deep chat. It's a very. That's the other thing. It's like sometimes you're not ready. Sometimes you just need to blow off a little bit of steam and just, you know, have a laugh with your pals. That's important too. But I think that at that point I was like, I was. I was just drinking out and I did this sky who like, had asked me to do. And like, after the. I think we played Denmark in the semi final. We're playing Italy in the final and I did this interview about the game and I was still drunk. I hadn't slept, I couldn't straight. And when I look back at this interview, I'm so like. I look and I do this whole big thing where I'm like, we'll smash Italy. Like, Italy won't want a bit of Wembley when it's rocking and Gareth Southgate and obviously Italy. I was getting trolled by Italians for months afterwards, but I looked at that person, I was like, oh, God, like, you weren't impressed? No. And I just was like, you know, and I think I look, I thought my wife needed me to be better than that. At that time, my wife didn't need Tom to be coming home hungover and Tom to be preoccupied with this. This. She needed a guy who's present and a guy who's there and a guy who's got her back. And so originally I was like, okay, you know, Grace will be born and you're going through at the moment. It's an amazing time. It's a magical time, but it's tiring and you're trying to work out, you know, no one's to going, you know, everyone's giving you information, you're trying to best you can navigate. Like, okay, I'm going to take this bit on all that. And I thought, drunk me is not going to be able to do this, you know, so, you know, give it six months. And then in those six months, I was fortunate enough to. To do certain things and. And that in that time as well, like, it was insane, really. I was filming Wonka, I'd started to go back into doing stand up because I was. I'd missed it so much. I was like. At that point. Yeah. But that's kind of now, weirdly how my brain works best if there is loads going on and I'm like, focused, I'm hyper focused on this and this and always making sure you're as present as you can be for your family. But I was like. So I got into six months and was like, wow. I've like, you know, I've done this thing. There's Wonka. I've written a tour. I've written, you know, some tv, you know, some pilots here and there. And you saw the amount of stuff

[B]

that you were doing.

[A]

Yeah. And also I'm like.

[B]

Feeling better about yourself?

[A]

Yeah, feeling better as. As me and feeling. And. And it's. That isn't an answer for everyone because some. Because it is like, it's very like, like I say, kind of worn off in. And. But you're. Yeah, that's a big move to make. But after six months and that becomes a year and she's four now. And like, you know what? Every now and again you might just go, yeah, I'll have a. I'll have a glass of wine with my wife on a special occasion. Because I'm not in a place where I go, because now I think I've got a level on it and going. But actually quite a lot of the time I don't want that glass of wine.

[B]

So where did you grow up?

[A]

Around, like, sort of the Sutton area, sort of that. Yeah. So it's sort of South. South Surrey. South South London, Surrey, sort of Borders, but.

[B]

But parents together.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, man. Nice. You know what I look. It was a very happy household. I was very blessed. That is the thing where I look. And I had two parents who worked very, very hard, you know, constantly. Mum was a nurse, my dad was a mechanic. And. And I look back now and sort of. I was terrible at school. I was like. Not like, I was. I was naughty and I was loud and, you know, I was just. Oh, yeah, time dyslexic and at add. But, you know, I look, yeah, it wasn't diagnosed, so I was. I mean, and then at that age,

[B]

you in that age, when you're not. It's so weird when you're not doing, like, when you're not achieving academically.

[A]

And I didn't, by the way, achieve until murder and successful. I was an awful. I was awful at everything I tried. I come home with it and small dreams. I remember wanting to be a bin man. And when people go, did you always want to be a comedian? The idea of being me wanted to be an actor. I remember I wanted to be a bin man. I remember seeing like, you know, like the dream. I used to see, like on like a sort of whatever Wednesday, Thursday morning, you'd see them on a bin lorry, picking up the bins or having a laugh. That feels like, good. That's what I'd like a bit of that. But why?

[B]

What did that make you feel? Because you're like.

[A]

I was watching them just. And I like the camera of it, the banter, thinking, oh, that feels like. That looks like fun. And when I left school, I remember sort of my dad sort of knew someone who worked on the Dust and he said, oh, you know, go. You know, if you go down. Down to the pub, have a chat, you know, he'll, you know, sort of say that you're interested in working. And I went along and I sort of was so keen.

[B]

You Nepo baby.

[A]

I was so keen. I was so, like, so overly sort of, like, trying to abandon this guy's sitting. And I could see, you know, so he hasn't really got much personality. And, like, he's just looking at me going. And I'm going, oh. I mean, yeah, the thing I really want to get into this business for is. And he's like, all right, mate? And I waited for, like, about two weeks. I said, have you heard from. From him yet? And he went, yeah, no, no, he said that you're a bit overly keen. Give it a couple of years. And. Yeah, so I didn't get a job on the bins and fell into buildings, like, you know, and laboring and that's.

[B]

But you Left school?

[A]

No.

[B]

GCSEs.

[A]

Nothing.

[B]

Nothing. No, you're smart and, like, you are.

[A]

But also, I think there's a lot of people like that. I think that. I think that's the thing. There's a misconception of, like, academically, I was not. There were certain things if I turned my attention to, I. I was probably, you know, be better. But I sort of. I think there was. There was two things going on. Number one, I sort of like playing the clown and messing about. But also, number two, I never really wanted to ever ask for help. So I think if. That, if I was struggling with stuff, I'd never, ever go, I'm struggling with this. If I. That's why. Because I think you never want to. Yeah. Embarrass me. You don't want to feel stupid. I think, like, I think that this is. My mum used to go and go, look, he's a. He's a smart kid, but he's just. He's struggling with this, this and this. And they were all just like, well, no, he's silly. He messes around. And no one ever really delved that a little bit deeper. And I think, when I look back, I think if there was. If I'd been a bit more eloquent or if I asked for help a little bit more. And I think that's a. It's a good thing in life. I think that we're at a place now where, yeah, that happens. Like, my daughter's 4 and they're already up on stuff and they're coming to us and you're like, okay, cool. Right, let's try and do something about that. And I think, like, everything that happens to you early on in your year, your. Your life is that that's your go to. So if you're told you're not good enough or you're not going to amount to Anything at a very young age, that usually is something that sticks in your head. So when you like you're doing, especially when you're doing this for, for a living and you're going up for auditions or you've written a script and things don't go your way and that is just natural that's going to happen. But a lot of the time that can then if you, if you, if you've had like a good schooling, a good grounding, you can then be like, okay, cool, I'm gonna go again. But if you're, if you're formative sort of like relationship with rejection is something you sit there and go, no, that's me. I'm not good. I was, I'm thinking there was just someone better. I was probably good, but that person was better. And you can rationalize it, but I actually think my go to and that, that's the thing now where you're like

[B]

your go to was fail.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And like I'm just shit at this. I'm not very good. That's, that's why I stopped stand up for like six years. I didn't do, I wouldn't go on stage.

[B]

Yeah. So the mindset is, is that if you've been told as a kid that you're not good enough, things like that therefore you're going to, you know, and I, in the sort of least like offensive way, I hope you're going to go for low hanging fruit.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because then there's no way feeling, there's no, you don't have to have the anxiety about feeling the rejection because you think, well, I'm going to be rejected.

[A]

And it's a weird thing I think, you know, even down to like, you know, when I was on site. So you don't just want to put your head above the parapet and become like feel stupid. You don't want to get things wrong. It's a very interesting thing of like. And it was really when I got into this industry and I started actually realizing, oh, okay, I've like failed at so many different things. I've like, you know, like, you know, things that I've gone right, okay, I want to try this thing. And I'm making light of the bin man thing. But that's what I thought as a kid. I'd really like to do that. You know, I like, you know, building sites and whatever I'd done. I'd failed at quite a lot of different things. So when I got into this industry and I was like, okay, like failure is like, it Never occurred to me really that I'd ever really be that good at something like stand up or comedy. I was, I was funny and I'd have a laugh with people. It'd be, you know, but.

[B]

And it's the ultimate risk and it's so reactive. Yeah, it's the ultimate, you know, straight away, if it's worked or not.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, yeah, like straight away. Yeah. And it is like. But then what happens is inevitably you get to a place where you're like, oh, the pressure. Now it ramps up. Because at first when I did it, I was like, okay, this will probably just be something else I'm not very good at. And then I just love doing it. I was going out and I'd work all day on site and then I'd go do gigs in evenings and just, you know, travel around a bit more and then get better at it. And it was really never, I never saw it as like, oh, this will be my career. This will, this will just be a hobby that actually gives me something more in life than just. It just, it was just.

[B]

Yeah, but that is also because in a way you're protecting yourself because, because then, oh, that failure is going to come back. So I'm just doing this as a hobby because if I fail, like, oh, it doesn't even matter because I can go back and do it.

[A]

Until Murder and successful Series 1 car, I was still out selling T shirts at festivals and markets. No, you weren't. Yeah, because I wasn't like, I was like, there's so much riding on that. And if that hadn't worked, I was like, I'd have just, I probably would have just quit at that point. I think, genuinely, I think me and my wife had been in a situation where, you know, we'd had like, we'd lost financially. We'd. We'd. I'd sort of had my pants pulled down by someone who was like, looking after my finances. We'd lost our flat. So at that point in our lives, we, we, we were like living back at my parents. We were living like a. In a box room. And Murder and Successful genuinely was that thing of going, okay, look, this is, there's more to this. This is the big risk. This is the thing that has to work. Because otherwise I don't really know where this is going to go. Like, you know, I have to, you know, otherwise it will, you know, with, you know, I'll be a laborer, I'll sell T shirt. I've always been able to sort of put myself into something But I. That's. And I remember sort of having to say to my wife like, you know, it's unfair, it's maybe selfish of me to have this dream of like, okay, I'm going to do this. And you know, she's working two jobs at a time and you're like, okay, so that was riding on it. And then, you know, you get to a point like stand up, for example. I like stand up. I was. And now I'm back at that place. But I loved it. I loved it more like it was the one place I felt weirdly like at home. I was like. And then when the pressure ramps up and you're doing more and more. Like when I watched other people around me who were just fucking brilliant. But yeah, and obviously the likes of who like I think like Rom Catherine, Ryan Beckett, Ian Sterling, people I love and good friends of mine now and, and always been very happy for him. But I, I really felt like I was like, wow. I just looked at everyone else and oh, they're all so much better.

[B]

They're better than me.

[A]

And I'm like. And also I was like, they see and they probably weren't. They probably were going through the same thing. But I think for me, I was like, I. I remember like, I. If I had a gig in the evening, I wouldn't eat that. That I was so anxious. I was so like worried about it backfire and the pressure I put on every. I could be doing a gig in front of six people at above a pub. And I thought, if this goes badly, I'll. That'll be it. I'll be out of the industry.

[B]

I used to put so pressure on it every night. It was like every night was leveled up.

[A]

Yeah. And I think I stopped really going who. I don't really know who I am doing this now. I wasn't like, it was so clear when I first started. I was like, this is who I am. This is what I want to do. And over time that, you know, that gets chipped away at and then you start losing that sort of vision. And it wasn't really until, you know, sort of Rom kind of sort of bullied me back into going like, no, you need to. You'll regret it if you don't. And flow who.

[B]

You stopped the stand up because you

[A]

just felt like, just. I didn't think I was any good. I genuinely like.

[B]

And why didn't you feel you were good?

[A]

I just never thought it was like, yeah, I have this now. I. I text like Roma. I text fly, you know, I'm very open about that.

[B]

What do you say when you text Ron? What do you, what do you say?

[A]

Honestly, I'm like, that didn't feel like. It doesn't feel like it's good enough. Yeah. I can't. I don't think I'm being good and I don't think I'm being like, I'm very. Look behind every. All of this. I sort of go. I think like, I think I'm being lazy or I think I'm not. I'm not pushing myself to a limit where I think I'm being better and I can get better and better. It's very like, it's a good thing, the competitive nature of our industry. Yeah. And I think like the level of stand up in this country is phenomenal. You look around at people who are coming up and that's. That's inspiring, man. I look now and think, wow. And also like, there's a lot of people out there who are killing it without the luxury that we had of television or the luxury of panel shows or finding your voice a little bit more. And there's just incredible acts that are just like, wow, that person is just so. You can even look at that and go, oh, okay, well, I'm here now and I'm going to chill with that and I'm going to relax with that. Or you can be inspired by these people and go, well, how do I. Yeah, how, how can I let myself push myself? Being inspired by people coming through.

[B]

So you stopped it because you were like, I just don't think it's. I'm not going to reach a height that I want.

[A]

I stopped it because I was like, it just wasn't good for my mental health. It wasn't good for me. I would come home and I'd be in, you know, if I didn't think, you know, and I just. And I had, like I say I had people around me then at that point. This is pre Ollie and pre, pre Flo. I'd like a, you know, sort of quite a negative force within my career at that point. I'm not going to get into sort of naming people, but I think when I'm at my best on stage, it's when it's slightly shambolic and the wheels feel. That's what murder and successful is. It's like the wheels could come off at any time. And I'm very honest about that and open. When I started stand up, I was. That was ingrained in me. The self deprecation and the silliness and like, oh, I've up a joke, let me just go back. And like I just thought that people

[B]

did that because that is your, that

[A]

is your, that's your goal. And then all of a sudden that was getting told, I was told that was not good. And that wasn't transferred to television. And that was the thing. So I started second guessing everything really. And I was like, okay, and when

[B]

you're on st second guessing everything, what is that? What does that feel like?

[A]

Well, you, you just crumble. Yeah, yeah, you crumble and you, you start getting so in your head about things being perfect. And it sounds a really weird thing to say that, but I think stand up when it's at its best is kind of imperfect. I think it is just, yeah, you're loose and you're present. I think that's a really, it's the most important thing. So in the last tour I was, I'd come back to this and I was like, and I was loving it. But I would be like, I do this whole thing where I'd be like, oh, we haven't sold any tickets in so and so. And I'd be really self deprecating about stuff and flow would be, no, you have like your tour selling well. It's a debut tour. People, you know, and a lot of people didn't know the journey. A lot of people didn't know have any realization. I had been a stand up. I had. That is how I got here. It was like the thing that.

[B]

It's such a true example of success, right. You know, we watch, you watch David Beckham scoring the goal against Greece, right? You see that and think, oh, and you see a no Steve Jobs without. No one sees the back history. No one sees the years of grass, you know, moving back in with your parents, being on the dole, having nothing, you know, being screwed over here, working, grinding, grinding, grinding. They suddenly see you on stage, go where he's a comedian. You're like, I've been grafting for the last 10 years to be here in front of you guys. But. And you have to almost remove ego in those situations.

[A]

I think ego is the killer of everything. And that's the weird thing as a standup is that I think ego, I think Bill Bailey said it better than me. But I think you have to always know that you're the lowest thing in the room when you're doing stand up and comedy. But also you've got to know that you're. Everyone's there to see you. So there's a sort of Weird status. So you have to kind of, you know, people. I think it's very important to have people around you and keep your counsel in the fact that the people who tell you. I always think, like, I saw it happen to people where I'm like, oh, they've stopped listening. And I think actually the most important thing is, like, I have no doubt that Ollie I'm close enough to. Or Flo, certainly, and has done. Will tell me that's not good enough. And that's.

[B]

That's important in life, though, that. To have that and to accept that

[A]

my wife's like that. My wife is brilliant for that. Really? Yeah. There's no. Like, my wife is the most honest person. She has no bullshit filter of her. She would say, like, I don't. You know, we talk about every job that I'll take, the jobs that I don't, the jobs that I do, the things that, you know, she'll go, I think you could have done this better. And that's the conversations I want to have. I think that we all should have that and we shouldn't be scared if someone. Criticism. And I've had that most of my life for different things like, you know, academically, sport, whatever, but actually someone being constructive and saying, oh, you know, you could try this or do this or. I didn't think that was necessarily you. I think that's a really important thing. And I think once you close yourself off to people telling you or giving you advice and saying, you know, and if it comes from a place of compassion and goodwill, then you have to be open to it. And I think that's the thing that we. We misconstrue and we live in a world now as well, that. This is a slightly weird tangent, but I was talking about my wife this morning about, like, social media and we kind of see the. We're in it, you know, And I think people are now trying to be a bit more open with it and who they actually are. But there's such a weird way of, like, you know, you think going back to her parents generation, it was a very easy thing to just, you know, you knew Bob and Val down the street. You know, someone might have a cousin who's. Who's got a fucking, you know, Aston Martin. But, like, for the most part, it was just a very. People very close to you. And then you had celebrity and then you had people doing. But actually, the people that you in the grain day to day with were kind of on a level. Yeah. And everyone was, you know, oh, wow. They Went to Mallorca last year, maybe one day. But, you know, I mean, but it's like, you know, and there was a little bit of aspiration. Yeah. We now live in a world where everything is so open, the world has become so tiny that we're all just constantly and. And naturally as human beings, we start and we comparing ourselves. I mean, it's an awful thing like you do to compare yourself constantly. So like, I, I use the analogy of like Matthew McConaughey, right? Matthew McConaughey is just about the most perfect human being, right. He's handsome, he's got together, he's quite humble, you know, how can I compare myself to him? Yeah, I started listening to his. He's got a. One of those calm tapes. I don't know if you've heard it.

[B]

I used to play every night.

[A]

Yeah, no, I did. But I get halfway into it, you could have a struggle called sleeping.

[B]

You cunt.

[A]

You'd be sitting, lying there and he'd go. And he, like, he's humble, but he'd go, how you doing? You're right there. You sleeping, you relaxed. I've just done a Oscar winning film, but I'm. Oh, off, mate. I just got turned down for six lines in a new Mary Poppins movie. How can you compare yourself? How can that. That's not on him, that's on me. What's the comparison? He's trying to help out. He's to going, hey, hey, Tom, have a listen to this. I'm out of five. Bollocks, mate. How about fuck off.

[B]

With the new tour? Do you love that? The fact that you're like, you're back on stage doing everything?

[A]

Yeah, I love it, man. It's the best, like, you know, it's the best thing and it's free and. And you have like, you know, in everything else that you do, you're like waiting constantly to, you know, you do a TV show, you're waiting six months for it to come out. You do a film, waiting a year, maybe 18 months for it to come out. Like, stand up, you're on the stage. And also you can just go, it. I'm just gonna throw this in.

[B]

I'm just gonna go do it.

[A]

Yeah, And I can throw that in. And also, rather than hitting your mark

[B]

and looking down this lens, it's like, so.

[A]

Yeah, and also, like, I enjoy people, I enjoy being around. Like, even before I ever did this for a living, I. I used to enjoy chatting someone. I was that lunatic.

[B]

Did you go and chat to people on Tuesday?

[A]

Yeah. On tube. On a bus. I remember like coming back on night buses and just getting sing alongs, like. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You were pissed on about that when I was drunk.

[A]

I just used to love. Yeah, like that's your stand up. Yeah, yeah. But you get on and everyone's, you know, the camera, everyone's on this thing. You're eating your kebabs and someone. You start singing and you're those annoying people that are just having a bit of a laugh and having a bit of a. And I think. And even now I love.

[B]

Because you get a buzz out of making other people.

[A]

People are interesting. I think it's the thing that we. We misconstrued.

[B]

That's why I do this because people. I love people.

[A]

When you. When. Yeah, but that's you. I remember like, you know, and seeing you on set and being around you, you're always ch. I think that's one of the things that's so interesting about you as a person is that whenever you're seeing you, you're never sort of aloof or, you know, you're always chatting you. And I think everyone would say this in anyone, you know, I know who's worked with you and working with you. I think you can't. And you're. You're always chatting to everyone. It's not just a thing where you're like, okay, like I. I think myself and everyone in just in life. I think I hate it when someone will go, I was going to come up for a picture, ask for a picture by doing. If I'm with my kid mate, you know, But I'm. This is the job. Job. This is what we do. And it's like getting anal and pricky about it, but actually just having conversation and talking to people. Most people's lives are a lot more interesting day to day than.

[B]

Did you. Did you message Chalamet when he won?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Did you actually.

[A]

Yeah, I did, yeah, I messaged him. I am.

[B]

No, you didn't because you did Wonka

[A]

with him and he. So we. We. This is a really. So you.

[B]

You message Chalamet this.

[A]

I don't know if we could use this because. Yeah, but yeah, we can.

[B]

Oh yeah, yeah, boy, we can.

[A]

He's. I'm gonna tell you, right, that I had no expectation of what a huge start. Well, we did Wonka. He was obviously a big star then, but not as big as he is now, but like he's got bigger and bigger. But so we had this weird thing where me and him were like the first two people I Think like. Like we were doing rehearsals together and we'd hang out with Paul King and. And we. Me and him, just very much like yourself. Like, we hit off a really fun relationship, like, where we joke and laugh. A lot of the time we just have banter. We had. There was this awful dog that was not my dog in the film who's like, the. The biggest ego is this dog. And I used to just do the voice of the dog. And so it was like I was writing his autobiography. And it'd be like, I remember the third day of the shoot, I turned up and Chalamet wasn't off book as I ate my 15th sausage of the day and may. And we'd fuck about with this dog, but we'd have, like, really good banner. And he used to. You it, weirdly, and I didn't want to say it at the time, but, like, he had this weird thing of, like. So you said, about pics. He used to take weird pictures of me, like, in my outfits and send them to me.

[B]

He just used to take. It's what I do to you. Yeah, I like taking.

[A]

No, yeah, but that's Tim. And then. So I messaged him and said, he

[B]

took a motorcycle and you sent a fire and poached you back.

[A]

So you can see that I'm very much more invested in this relationship than it is. But I said, my word, Mighty supreme is a work of genius. Smashed it. Congrats on everything. And he just, in capital letters, said, thank you, Tom. And then I sent him about eight messages. He's very sweet.

[B]

I'm just thinking about this new bit of work.

[A]

If you're ever in England, would you like to hang up? Saw you were in London.

[B]

Now I got your attention.

[A]

You read this fucking script. This old piece of shit I've got. So you're getting into executive producing now, mate. What do you think of your shirt?

[B]

You're probably inundated, but, like,

[A]

you seem like you've got your shit together. I'm just going out for a date with the missus. Do you think I'm too old to wear a tracksuit top? Just me and Marty. Supreme Merch. Oh, God. This guy. This guy. But, yeah, but I found him to be very lovely. He was a. I had so much fun with him. And. And, you know, like, I say, he's. He was very. Yeah, just a good guy to be around, I think. I think that of a lot of people, I think, like. Yeah, I think you can.

[B]

People are great when you, like, start, like, if you.

[A]

If you.

[B]

If you're one of these people who are open to, like, have conversations. You find that people are just wicked.

[A]

Yeah. But also you, you, you. I think it must be so hard to be a prick. Like in, like.

[B]

It's effort. It's gotta be effort.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. If you're. If like, if you. If like, you're a very infectious guy. And, and. But if you walk up to someone go, hey, man, how are you doing? Your response isn't, oh, nice one. Hello, mate. Your response is like, what do you want? What do you want? That takes effort not to mirror someone's happiness. To just go, I'm gonna respond like a prick. I'm gonna be mean. And then just go. And then you have to go into your trainer and go, I wish I'd be nice. I wish I'd said hello. He was so fucking fragile.

[B]

You told me this story. You said the story of your salad once where you got on the tube. Oh, my God, these girls got off.

[A]

No, I was. I was going to a meet him and I'd run for this tube and I got on and it was really hot day, you know, and I was sweating. I was like. And you know, like that sweat, I'm sort of like, you know, and it stank a bo on this chew. It really stank. It was like, oh. And I was like. And I think so lowly of myself that I was like, even though I just got out of the shower, I was like, they check that's not me. Could be me. I could have like within five minutes of sticking over Tom for fooled still rica be so I'm like that subtly trying to sniff myself and I look down the carriage and this woman's going, and everyone else like, anyway, and now it's like really sweating. I'm like, my back sweat. I've got that little bit of like, sweat that goes through in your ass, a little line. And these mean girls get on, you know, like, yeah, you know, like when you're at school, like, boys would pick on you a bit and, you know, it might beat you up, but girls would say like, something and it would just stick with you. It would just be with you forever. Even as an adult. You'd be out on a date 20 years later and they just go, oh, these kippers are nice. What are you talking about? Kid called you it fucking 20 years ago. What was that supposed to mean? Do you know Claire Sanders trickering? And these girls got on and they were all sort of like, these girls get on and they're all like, sort of like, quite, like, loud in. And this one girl, sort of like probably the alpha of the group, she's drinking a Frappuccino and she goes, it fucking stinks on here. It fucking stinks. And I'm like, oh, God. Like, yeah, my ego. I can't take this. I'm like, sort of trying to sort of make myself look small at 6 foot 7, drenched in sweat now. And she's got this little mate who's sort of like a little sidekick. So not. Oh, you got someone who's not even the main character in their own life. She's just always going to be Casey's sidekick. Always. Just gonna be. Oh, yeah. Casey and Claire are coming around. Claire's never got her own storyline, and Claire's just. Claire's gone. It does stink. Someone stinks on here. And she starts going, who fucking stinks? Who stinks? And people are looking away. I'm like, don't look over here, please. Claire, she clocks me and she went, oh, Casey, Casey. And they point over at me. And this girl just looks at me cold in the eye, real cold. She goes, oy, mate, you fucking stink. And everyone on the tube just starts laughing. I'm like, three stops before my actual stop. I had to get off. I'm ostracized, thrown off. And I think, it's not even fucking me, me. Stinky's still on the tune.

[B]

I could chat to you for hours. I just want to say, anyone, go to your stand up, watch your show, get your tickets, follow you, see everything you do because you're. You're a rare talent. Truthfully. You're so funny and caring and everything, man, I appreciate everything.

[A]

I need to. By the way, candy kittens are a big. Do you know what I mean? Mine and Rom's only argument was over candy cans.

[B]

What did you argue about? What did Rom say?

[A]

No, Rom's upset with both of. Anyway, we're doing Judge Romish. This will be like. And so he had some candy kittens in his room, right? And we came in to chat about the show, and there's just this bag of candy kittens that are, like, unopened. I'm pretty addicted to candy kittens at this point, but I'm obsessed with them. And I. I come walking in and I open the bag of candy cans and start eating them as he's talking. And then he just looks at me and goes, really? He's gonna walk in someone's fucking dressing room and start eating their candy canes? And we had this to and forth, but it was Kind of like the only time there's been any animosity between us, like two cokeheads just arguing over the last line. You just sniffed that last line, huh? You think anyone else wanted was mad all over candy kittens? Well done with that, by the way. It's a beautiful thing.

[B]

Listen, we'd like to end the conversation with eight questions. Quick fire.

[A]

You ready for this? Okay. Oh, God.

[B]

What's a saying or phrase that makes you smile or cheers you up?

[A]

What's meant to be won't put. Shut up. Pass. Nice. Yeah. All right.

[B]

That's looking what scares you most about yourself.

[A]

Oh, my God. I'm a hypochondriac. I worry about 20 forms of cancer every day. I'm terrified of. Yeah, I'm just worried about being ill.

[B]

Best compliment anyone's ever given you.

[A]

Oh, I don't know. I think. You know what I think, like, I did another podcast not so long ago, and in that podcast, my wife wrote a thing in a book to me, and I was very worried. It was a surprise gift. But she sort of said to me, I'm gonna write something in this book, and I don't know what to say. And she was like, yeah. And I was very, like, kind of like, yeah, don't worry about petting. Don't feel the pressure. And I didn't think she'd done it. And then on this podcast, it was Davina McCall's podcast. Davina read it out. And that moment I was like, you know, and I think it was, you know, I worry a lot about, are you a good enough husband? Are you a good enough dad? That's. That's the thing, right? That's what we're all trying to be. And, yeah, she sort of. Yeah, she was very sweet and she said that everything, that I hope the version of me is enough. And that is. It was. So that's probably the one.

[B]

Man, that's the greatest.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's the greatest.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When was the last time you cried?

[A]

My daughter's obsessed with horses. Like, obsessed. Like, worry for me. It's like, fucking. Really gonna have to start doing arena tours. I can pedal some more tickets. She's obsessed with horses. And so we. So we went to Vienna for her birthday this year. We're like, well, we're gonna go and watch these. The Spanish riding school. I don't know if you've ever seen it. I haven't seen it. So it's like dressage. And I mean, probably too high brow for her when I say she's obsessed with Horses. I probably sort of, like, required too much.

[B]

We're going to Vienna.

[A]

An hour and a half, seeing everyone's dressed in tuxedos. I've got this little kid going. The. Is this. There's horses. But. But we. We had this mad situation where our flights got cancelled, so we got put on. We had to fly to Brussels. And I'm like. It was almost like saying from Those sort of 90s movies, like, we will get to Vienna, get bumped from flight to fight. And then they lost my case. So I'm in the same clothes that I was in the day before. I've done like 18 hours on a flight. I'm stinking a BO. But I'm like, we'll get to the bloody horses. And my wife's sort of going, oh, God, is this worth it? And I'm like, you know, and. And when the horses came out and they're doing, you know, to the music, my daughter's just so elated and excited, and she's just like. She can't contain it. And I remember I looked at her and I looked at my wife, and that's the time I was like, just the. This happy moment of going, okay, this is. This is kind of cool. She's like. She's. That moment. Yeah, yeah. It's just like she. All of this has been, you know, the fact I'm sitting in a pair of sword pants. But it's all worth it. I mean, I did have this American Woman woman behind me theaters. And this sort of isn't for td. Oh, no, it's not for me because of the height. So I sit down and this woman goes, oh, great. Oh, great. And her daughter's like, oh, Mom. And it's like, you know. Oh, God. Like, you know, and I. I sort of turn around and go, I'm sorry. You know, I'm like. So I shrink down in my seat. So I've literally sat like that and I can't. Like, I'm at a weird angle, my hips clicking. This woman's going, I still can't see her. I was like, you fucking can. I'm lower than anyone else on the right.

[B]

Oh, Mom.

[A]

And then my daughter, just lucky enough, 40 minutes in, went, oh, I've seen this now. So me and her left and went and just played downstairs. But, yeah, it's. But that was the last time.

[B]

Who was your first celebrity crush?

[A]

Oh, wow. I think probably, I don't know, Sam Fox, maybe. I remember my cousin had a picture, Sam Fox on his wall. I mean, this is going back A while. I remember just always cheekily looking, like the poster would see. You'd go in his work and he was. He's a bit older, my cousin Paul, bless him. And he was a bit of a gauge. He was working on the sights at that time. You go in this sort of room and it's been a brute and you bowl in and it's just sort of. As you close the door, there'd be a picture of Sam Fox behind you sort of looking and you go,

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Hands in her jeans. It's like reading. Reading a comic. Just every now and again, like photographic memory.

[B]

Making sure that.

[A]

I've got it as a back piece now. A toad on my back. I'll never forget Sam.

[B]

What's your guilty pleasure?

[A]

I think. I think like, the thing I love just shit reality tv. I love like Below Deck or. It's so good also. But now. I don't know if you had this when you're younger. I have a weird, like, thing where I watch Below Deck and I'm like, I feel creepy. You're sitting watching stuff and you're like, I wonder if they'll get together. It's a weird thing to be sitting, like, just watching some people be free and drunk and kissing. Oh, no, you did that in real life. Real life in a bar, leaning there, going, oh, they look like they're gonna have a kiss. Probably. I've got to leave that behind at some point soon.

[B]

What turns you off?

[A]

Oh, wow. I think like an alpha sort of aggressive nature. I think, like, I'm kind of with

[B]

you on that when it's over.

[A]

Better intolerance as well. I think intolerance is. I think, like, it's a very strange place now. I think, like, I think the thing that social media has killed more than anything else, I think is, like, I think discussion is good. I think. I don't think there's a problem with it. I think that people should discuss things. I think some. Sometimes we maybe overarch that, but I think actually what's happened is that we have all this more. So much more information at hands. But actually, like, with things like the pubs dying and people not being out and socializing. Yeah. Actually being sociable and being around. Like, I look at. Back at the days of working on a site and being around different people, where people have this idea of, like, what building site is. But actually it's a very diverse place to be.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you have people with different opinions and actually thrashing it out face to face and talking about it can enlighten enlighten you into going oh that you know, that you know and you can take that on board and you can take, take it how it is. And I think now we live even though we live in a place that's very seemingly like you know, open and, and but actually people close themselves off more to discussion 100 and I think it can become toxic and it become. And that, that for me is, and that isn't just a one sided thing. I think intolerance happens across the board. I think where you look at and actually I think you know where we're looking at things now. I think you know, I'm not a particularly political person but I look at him at some point we have to look at and go what is just, just like what is being decent from across the board. Like you know we elect these people to look after us as people and that we put our faith in it. It's a bit like a babysitter really. 100 and you just have to look at and go like at what point when does things, you know and, and when do things start getting a little bit better and when do things. And that is just across the board. That's not casting any dispersions. I just think, I just look at it and go there's just so little hope. And I think hope's such an important thing for young people. I think like when I look at and you chat to young people and you just. I just think like, just like just trying to have somewhere and some place where it just feels like okay, that's, that's that things are going to get better.

[B]

100% man, I love that. 100%. What turns you on?

[A]

I think laugh, laughter. I think being around people. I think fun. I think just having, I think you know my favorite things with my wife are sitting, having a laugh together and taking a piss out of things and just having a joke together. I think it's an important thing and I think nothing is better than the first time you can you meet someone in a friendship basis or you know, whatever and that person's funny and they make you feel like great, this is going to be it.

[B]

I had an NCT class like a parents class. I met this guy called Joe and I was like, I lied. It was so funny. I was like I love this guy.

[A]

Yeah, that's love this guy. I will say by the way, school mums like at the gates are so much funnier than dads.

[B]

They really.

[A]

School mums are so. Yeah, yeah. There's a, there's a, there's a level like with the dads, it's great because you actually weirdly start building it. But the mums are instantly funnier, I think. Yeah, they take the piss, they just have a joke and, and yeah, I feel like there's, I don't know, it might be too general, but I just think, in my experience, I, I look at and just think, oh, no, they're, they're, they've got the banter straight away, 100%.

[B]

What do you like most about yourself?

[A]

My nose. I don't know. I, I, it's very hard not to sound like a pr, but I, I think that I, I enjoy being. I, I'm a friendly guy. I think that's it. I think the thing that I'm an interest in people. I like having a laugh and I think that that is all. That's really the only thing that I got. You know, when you're sort of like shuffling through wherever we come from, the, the factory in which we're plonked onto earth. I missed the queue on quite a lot of stuff, but the one thing I did get was, Was, you know, and I find, find, like, I think some people read it wrong, but I find making a laugh at yourself and joking. I don't necessarily have that thing of going. I, I don't take myself ever so seriously. I think that's kind of, that's probably the thing that I. Yeah.

[B]

Bonus one.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What was it like kissing Olivia Colman?

[A]

Amazing. She made it very easy. I mean, we had a Olivia Coleman, weirdly like. Yeah, she's such a special, amazing. Oh, my God. Like very special human beings. And I've been very blessed to meet a lot of them. But Olivia Colman is just, just as a performer, like, so, like, like you. She's just so much fun to be around. She's so funny. But also like, I was going through a lot at that time when we filmed that movie and she was like, like a rock. And there's a sort of bond and a friendship that's still here, there, and that's a very special thing. And again, going back to that thing, like that. Friends for a reason. Friends for a season. And I needed someone in my life at that point who was like, like someone I could turn to in a moment. And Olivia was that person. So whether I've ever chat to her again, I'll be internally grateful for that last bonus.

[B]

Snog Mary. Avoid Ramesh. Rob Beckett, Joe Wilkinson. Shag Marry.

[A]

Avoid Shagmarivo.

[B]

Yes, you have to shag Ramesh. Robert. Joe, you have to marry.

[A]

I think the truth is I'm almost married to Rash anyway.

[B]

You're going to marry?

[A]

I'd have to, yeah.

[B]

Who are you going to?

[A]

I mean, can I just have Joe and Rob at the same time? I couldn't avoid anything. That's just such a horrible. I have to send Rob home and then go. I can't do this, Joe, Just. You get sorted, let me run down. I'll make a couple of classes of squash and I'll get Rob back in. Or you and Rob just. And I can watch.

[B]

Tom, we love you.

[A]

Thank you so much.

[B]

You're the best of the world, man. Tom. Wow, what an episode, honestly. Maybe one of the funniest episodes I've ever recorded. That story of him on the tube is honestly just genius. I hope you guys liked it as well. Tom is going on tour, so you can go and watch more of him on stage now. I really would like to know what you think of the show, so if you can leave a comment and let us know what you think of it, I'd absolutely love that. We have so many other shows like this with other comedians like Joanne McNally, Catherine Ryan. You can just go and see all of our library and go and click on one of those episodes because they're equally as funny. And of course, we're going to be back next week for another episode of Great Company.