The Goose Girl

Summary

Grimm, Grimmer, Grimmest: "The Goose Girl" – Detailed Summary

Podcast Title: Grimm, Grimmer, Grimmest
Host/Author: Adam Gidwitz
Episode: The Goose Girl
Release Date: November 21, 2024

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Introduction to the Story

In the "The Goose Girl" episode of Grimm, Grimmer, Grimmest, bestselling author and storyteller Adam Gidwitz embarks on a captivating retelling of the classic Grimm fairy tale. Set within a virtual storytelling session, Adam engages a group of inquisitive children who contribute their perspectives, anticipate plot twists, and infuse humor throughout the narrative.

Characters and Setting

The story revolves around two central characters raised together in a grand palace:

• Princess Louisa: Kind-hearted, sweet, and generous, always assisting servants and sharing with her cousin.
• Duchess Augusta: Spoiled, cruel, and envious of Louisa's royal status, treating palace staff harshly.

Adam introduces these characters with vivid descriptions, immediately establishing the contrasting personalities that drive the plot.

Adam Gidwitz [04:06]: "Princess Louisa was kind hearted and sweet... but the Duchess Augusta was as spoiled and cruel as Louisa was kind hearted and sweet."

The Tradition and Departure

In their kingdom, princesses must marry a prince from a faraway land once they reach a certain age. Princess Louisa is both nervous and excited about this tradition, anticipating meeting a wise and kind prince. However, Duchess Augusta harbors deep jealousy, knowing that Louisa holds the true title of princess.

Child 2 [06:44]: "I'm a little nervous about marrying someone I've never met, but I think it'll be okay."

Augusta's resentment grows as she sabotages Louisa's preparations, leading to a pivotal moment where Louisa selects Augusta as her companion for the journey—a decision that sows the seeds for betrayal.

The Queen's Charm and Rising Tensions

Before departure, the Queen bestows a protective charm—a white handkerchief with three drops of red blood—onto Louisa, intended to safeguard her from harm. However, Augusta's intentions are far from noble.

Adam Gidwitz [10:00]: "Keep this handkerchief with you and nothing bad can happen to you."

As the journey progresses, Augusta's demeanor shifts drastically. She becomes aggressive, demanding water and displaying cruelty, which confuses and frightens Louisa.

Child 1 [12:03]: "Let her pass out. Let her pass out."

The Betrayal

Augusta's true colors emerge when she forcibly swaps places with Louisa, declaring herself the princess and threatening death if Louisa reveals the truth. The protective charm's power is compromised when it washes away, leaving Louisa vulnerable.

Child 2 [14:29]: "She'll die."

Augusta forces Louisa into servitude, and the princess is relegated to tending geese with the help of Little Conrad, a young boy tasked with teaching Louisa her new role.

Magical Elements and Resistance

Louisa discovers that her handkerchief grants her magical abilities by the stream where the geese play. She can control the wind to thwart Little Conrad's attempts to steal her ribbons, hinting at her latent powers tied to the charm.

Child 1 [29:47]: "Maybe she has magical powers. Only there."

Despite Augusta's efforts to suppress her abilities, Louisa begins to harness her magic, creating small acts of resistance that reflect her enduring kindness and resilience.

The Prince’s Doubt and Revelation

As Augusta revels in her assumed princess status, the prince and king grow suspicious of her unkindness. The talking horse, Falada, becomes a crucial ally, revealing Augusta's deceit to the king.

Child 1 [22:02]: "Because the horse heard her say that she wanted to be the princess and she would be the duchess."

Faced with the truth, Augusta faces imminent punishment for her betrayal, leading to her downfall as the protective charm's curse is invoked.

The Climax and Resolution

Augusta meets a gruesome fate, torn apart by bunnies—an embodiment of the curse's dark humor and the story's whimsical yet macabre tone. With Augusta's treachery exposed, Louisa is reinstated as the true princess.

Child 3 [35:21]: "The most horrible way to die is head exploding and bunny farts."

Falada's transformation from a talking horse to a posthumous advisor symbolizes the enduring bond between Louisa and her loyal companion. The story concludes with Louisa's marriage to the prince and a return to happiness, underscoring the triumph of good over evil.

Adam Gidwitz [36:58]: "Luisa and the prince were engaged and eventually married. And Falada's head was brought into the castle. And Luisa talked to it all the time."

Interactive Reflections

Throughout the episode, the children interact dynamically with the story, offering insights, raising questions, and expressing emotions that enrich the narrative experience.

• Child 1 [29:52]: "Maybe she has magical powers. Only there."
• Child 2 [14:46]: "If some other kid or grownup does something that is inappropriate or wrong and makes you swear not to tell, and you swear, can you still tell a grown up that you trust?"

These interactions not only engage young listeners but also encourage them to think critically about themes such as trust, betrayal, and the power of kindness.

Themes and Insights

"The Goose Girl" delves into several profound themes:

• Jealousy and Redemption: Augusta's envy drives the conflict, while Louisa's inherent goodness leads to restoration.
• Trust and Oaths: The binding oath under the open heavens highlights the importance and consequences of trust.
• Magic and Empowerment: Louisa's magical abilities symbolize her inner strength and capacity to overcome adversity.
• Good vs. Evil: The clear delineation between Louisa's kindness and Augusta's cruelty reinforces the timeless moral dichotomy.

Conclusion

Adam Gidwitz masterfully weaves a retelling that honors the original Grimm fairy tale while infusing it with humor, suspense, and modern sensibilities. The interactive elements with child participants enhance the storytelling, making "The Goose Girl" episode a memorable and engaging experience for listeners of all ages.

Child 1 [37:54]: "I am grim. Grimmer Grimaced Is a Pinna Original production..."

The episode wraps up with a reflection on the enduring message that good ultimately triumphs over evil, leaving listeners with a sense of hope and the satisfaction of a well-told fairy tale.

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Notable Quotes with Attribution and Timestamps:

• Adam Gidwitz [04:06]: "Princess Louisa was kind hearted and sweet... but the Duchess Augusta was as spoiled and cruel as Louisa was kind hearted and sweet."
• Child 2 [14:29]: "She'll die."
• Child 3 [35:21]: "The most horrible way to die is head exploding and bunny farts."
• Adam Gidwitz [36:58]: "Luisa and the prince were engaged and eventually married. And Falada's head was brought into the castle. And Luisa talked to it all the time."
• Child 1 [37:54]: "Now I'm grim. Grimmer Grimaced Is a Pinna Original production..."

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This comprehensive summary encapsulates the essence of the "The Goose Girl" episode, highlighting key plot developments, character arcs, thematic elements, and interactive dialogues that enrich the storytelling experience.

Transcript

[Child 1]

Pinna.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Did you know that you can listen to Grim, Grimmer Grimmest without any ads interrupting the story? Just subscribe to Pinna. Not only will you get to hear me tell these fairy tales straight through the way I tell them to kids, you get access to tons of other awesome original shows and audiobooks, all ad free. Subscribe to pinna at Pinna FM. That's P I N N A FM and use code GRIM with two M's to get 30% off an annual subscription. And remember, it's not a Smurf. The thing that I fought tooth and nail to bring my son into is Dungeons and Dragons. That is the ultimate solution to parenthood. I'm Alexis Ohanian in my podcast business dad. I'm hoping to open up the conversation about balancing careers and family. I talked to Rainn Wilson. I wanted to learn more Rain's advice to play D and D with your kids Business dad is available now, so be sure to listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Adam Gidwitz. I'm an author. I'm also a storyteller. I like telling all kinds of stories, but I especially like telling grim fairy tales. You may think you know Grimm fairy tales and you may think that they are sweet and boring, but listen, those tales you heard were the cute, happy little kid bedtime versions of the Grimm tales. The original Grimm fairy tales aren't like that at all. They're weird and sometimes gross and often scary. In other words, they're grim. And I'm about to host a virtual storytelling session and tell one of the original grim grim tales to a bunch of kids. Do you want to join me? Do you want to hear a grim fairy tale? I don't know if you said yes or no because I can't hear you. So let me help you decide on a scale of grim, Grimmer and Grimmest. This story is grimmer. It's suspenseful and for a moment, sad. Also, something gross and very strange happens. If I get to a part of the story and you start to feel scared or uncomfortable, this is what you could do. You could turn down the volume and count to five. Then turn the volume back up. If it still seems like a part you don't want to hear, turn it down and count to five again. You know how much weird and gross and scary you're ready for? You know what you need? Okay, I'm about to join the session. There are kids inside waiting to hear a grim fairy tale. So are you coming in Grim Grimmer Grimace? Okay. Are we ready to start the story?

[Child 1]

Yes.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Yep. Yep. You look very prepared.

[Child 1]

Uh huh.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Can you tell me about your setup? What do you have going on there?

[Child 1]

Um, I currently have a fox dress on, I have a bunny blanket on. And I am surrounded by like 10 stuffed animals right now. So I'm ready.

[Adam Gidwitz]

You're so ready. But what's interesting is that I see a whole bunch of stuffed animals, but not the animal that is in this story's title. Because the story is called the Goose Girl.

[Child 1]

I am so happy and confused at the same time.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Excellent. Well, let's get started and figure out why it's called the Goose Girl. Once upon a time, there were two girls who were raised together in a palace. One of these girls was a princess, and the other one was a duchess, the princess's cousin. A duchess is almost as important as a princess, but not quite. The princess was called Louisa. And she was kind hearted and sweet. She always thanked her servants when they brought her anything. Your Majesty, your royal tweezers.

[Child 2]

Thank you very much.

[Adam Gidwitz]

She always offered to help clear the table and clean the dishes.

[Child 2]

Oh, please, Ms. Henshaw, let me do that. Think of your back.

[Adam Gidwitz]

And she shared everything she had with her cousin, the Duchess, whose name was Augusta.

[Child 2]

What's mine is yours, Augusta. You know that.

[Adam Gidwitz]

But the Duchess Augusta was as spoiled and cruel as Louisa was kind hearted and sweet. She never let Louisa or the King and Queen see it. But she treated everyone else in the palace terribly. Servants brought her food.

[Child 3]

I've been waiting long enough. And now it's cold.

[Adam Gidwitz]

And cleared the table for her.

[Child 3]

Don't forget my napkin. It's soiled.

[Adam Gidwitz]

And did the dishes do hurry up, would you? And she never once offered to help. Furthermore, Augusta was jealous of Luisa. Even though she lived in the same palace and had all the same fancy clothes and things. In her heart, she knew that Louisa was the princess and she was just a duchess. And it made Augusta burn with jealousy. Okay, do you understand this? Does it make any sense? Have you ever felt uncontrollably jealous towards someone?

[Child 1]

Yes. Yes. One time, my sister, she had to get her tooth pulled and she couldn't even feel it. And she got like an Xbox for it. And she has it. She has it in her room now. Oh my God.

[Adam Gidwitz]

And it's hers. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Excellent story. Okay, what was a time when you felt super jealous?

[Child 1]

Store clerks. They get to keep all the stuffed animals for themselves.

[Adam Gidwitz]

That's very funny. Now, it was the tradition in that kingdom that when a princess was old enough, she would marry A prince from a certain faraway land. Louisa had never met the prince that she was destined to marry, and she was a bit nervous about it. But she was also looking forward to it, because it was well known in her kingdom that the princes and kings of that faraway land were among the kindest and wisest in the world. One day, as Princess Louisa and Duchess Augusta were discussing this tradition, Louisa said.

[Child 2]

I'm a little nervous about marrying someone I've never met, but I think it'll be okay. Don't you think it'll be okay? The princes of the faraway land are supposed to be very kind and very wise.

[Adam Gidwitz]

And Augusta replied, ugh, who cares if.

[Child 3]

The prince is wise and kind? He's a prince. Of course it'll be okay. Besides, everything is always okay for you.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Well, at last, the day arrived for Luisa to set out on her journey to the faraway land to meet her prince. But she wasn't going to travel alone, because the journey was very long. And it was tradition in their kingdom for princesses to always take one companion with them when they went to meet their prince.

[Child 1]

Oh, shoot. She's gonna take Aguessa. And then Aguessa is gonna kill Louis.

[Adam Gidwitz]

You think she's gonna kill Luisa?

[Child 1]

Yeah.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Let's find out. Luisa didn't have to think hard about who she'd take on the trip with her. She chose Augusta.

[Child 1]

No. Bad, bad, bad.

[Adam Gidwitz]

And Augusta smiled, oh, so sweetly. It was only after Luisa left her alone that Augusta went back to snapping at the servants.

[Child 3]

Hurry up.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Also, she began scheming up an evil plan. Now Luisa had a horse whom she loved very much, named Thalada. Aww. Yeah. You like horses, right? You're gonna really like this horse. Yeah.

[Child 1]

I wish I had a horse.

[Adam Gidwitz]

I know. Me too. Falada was very special to Luisa. He was her best friend. Falada was tall and strong and had a beautiful chestnut coat. And also, he could talk. Falada never talked very much, just a little, because he was a horse, after all, and horses don't tend to have a lot to say. But he loved Luisa just as she loved him. Augusta also had a horse. Actually, it was a mule, which is half horse and half donkey.

[Child 1]

I would still love it.

[Adam Gidwitz]

This mule was almost as tall as Falada and almost as strong. And he had a beautiful white coat, but he didn't talk. Also, he and Augusta weren't friends, because Augusta didn't make friends with animals, or really people either.

[Child 1]

Oh.

[Adam Gidwitz]

On the day of the young women's departure for the faraway Land. Luisa put her hair in long braids with ribbons at the end, dressed in a beautiful traveling skirt, and carried the few belongings she would bring with her. Outside, Augusta had the servants carry out her bags.

[Child 3]

Ugh, that's heavy. You carry it.

[Adam Gidwitz]

As Luisa was strapping her things to Falada's back, and Augusta was rearranging her traveling dress for the fourth time. With a dissatisfied air, Louisa's mother, the Queen, came to Louisa, daughter, come here. I want to show you something. The Queen took out a white handkerchief, and then she took out a knife. Mother said, louisa, what are you doing? And the Queen said, I am making a charm to protect you. As Louisa and Augusta watched, the Queen cut her own finger with the knife so that three drops of red blood fell on the white handkerchief. And she said, keep this handkerchief with you and nothing bad can happen to you. Okay? Why would a handkerchief with three drops of blood on it protect Louisa from anything bad happening to her?

[Child 1]

Because this is a fairy tale, and fairy tales are weird like that.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Yes, I think that is exactly the right answer.

[Child 1]

I agree.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Also, maybe the blood, like, symbolizes her mother's love or something. Right? Your mother's love can keep you safe. Maybe.

[Child 1]

Maybe, maybe.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Once Louisa had tied the bloody handkerchief around her wrist, the Queen asked Augusta to take good care of her daughter on the ride. Augusta smiled very, very sweetly and said.

[Child 3]

Of course I will.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Do you believe her?

[Child 1]

No, I don't believe you.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Princess Louisa and Duchess Augusta set off. The day was hot, and soon both of the young women became thirsty. Louisa loosened the handkerchief around her wrist just a little as it was, making her feel sweaty. Soon they came to a clear pond. Louisa said to Augusta, it's hot.

[Child 2]

Should we stop and get some water?

[Adam Gidwitz]

Augusta snapped back, why are you looking at me?

[Child 3]

If you're thirsty, why don't you get it and get me some while you're at it?

[Adam Gidwitz]

Luisa had never heard Augusta talk like this. So confused and a little frightened, she got down from Falada to get water for both herself and Augusta. And also for Falada and for Augusta. Mule. Augusta called to her, hurry up.

[Child 3]

I'm dying of thirst over here.

[Adam Gidwitz]

When Luisa got back on Falada, she heard the horse whisper, oh, if your mother only knew. Her heart would break in two. If only her mother knew what?

[Child 1]

How mean Augusta was? How Augusta was treating her.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Yeah, exactly. They journeyed on for a ways, and the sun kept shining. Louisa loosened the handkerchief just a little more.

[Child 1]

Oh, she's gonna loosen it three times, and then it's gonna fall off.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Interesting. Let's see. The day got hotter and hotter and eventually Augusta said, I'm going to pass out.

[Child 1]

Ugh.

[Child 3]

Get me some water now.

[Child 1]

No, no. Let her pass out. Let her pass out. Let her pass out. Yeah.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Louisa didn't know what had come over Augusta, and she certainly didn't like being spoken to that way. But Luisa was kind hearted and patient, and she figured that Augusta must just be uncomfortable from all this riding on such a hot day. So she got off a falada and got them some more water from a small stream. Augusta drank it greedily and didn't even say thank you. When Luisa got back up on falada, he whispered, oh, if your mother only knew her heart would break in two. They rode on for a while farther until they came to a large and swift river. Augusta said, more water now.

[Child 3]

Don't make me ask again.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Luisa glowered at Augusta, but she did as Augusta demanded because she didn't want to start a fight.

[Child 1]

Oh, I want to. She has a good heart.

[Adam Gidwitz]

She has a good heart. You would rather start a fight, huh?

[Child 1]

Yeah, I would. Me too. She's too sweet. I would be like, get your own water and push it into the pond just like you'll never die of first.

[Adam Gidwitz]

You said you died of drowning. Oh. That was dark. Luisa bent over the edge of the river, but the bank was steep and she had to reach far down to get the water. As she did, the handkerchief, which was now quite loose on her wrist, was pulled by the current and swept away before Luisa could grab it. No, Augustus. Augusta saw this happen. She grinned. Why is Augusta grinning now?

[Child 1]

Because she's gonna kill her. Yeah. Because now that the handkerchief can't protect her, now she can kill her.

[Adam Gidwitz]

When Princess Louisa returned to Augusta with the water, she yelped in fear. Augusta had climbed off her mule and was holding a very small, very sharp dagger. Augusta said, trade clothes with me.

[Child 3]

Dearest Louisa, no one in the fog faraway kingdom has ever seen you or me. So from now on, I am the princess and you are the duchess. Swear under the open heavens that you will never tell anyone. And if you do, may you die instantly.

[Adam Gidwitz]

And she pointed the sharp dagger at Luisa's throat. Louisa did not want to swear, but what other choice did she have?

[Child 2]

I swear under the open heavens that I will never tell anyone that I am the princess and you are the duchess. And if I do tell, may I die instantly.

[Adam Gidwitz]

And Augusta said, good. Because she knew that once upon a time, if you swore under the open heavens like that, you would be held to what you said. In other words, if Luisa tells what will happen, she'll die.

[Child 1]

She'll die.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Now, can that happen in real life?

[Child 1]

No. No.

[Adam Gidwitz]

If some other kid or grownup does something that is inappropriate or wrong and makes you swear not to tell, and you swear, can you still tell a grownup that you trust?

[Child 1]

Yes.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Yes. You have to still tell a grown up that you trust, or tell a trusted horse, or tell your best friend the trusted horse, but then also an adult. Yes. Once Luisa had sworn never to tell, Augusta got up on Falada. As she did, Falada murmured, oh, if her mother only knew her heart would break in two.

[Child 3]

And Augusta snapped, shut your long horsey mouth.

[Adam Gidwitz]

And she kicked him so he would ride on. Luisa, climbed on the mule and followed after. When Luisa and Augusta arrived in the faraway land, the prince, whom Louisa was supposed to marry and also his father, the king, were waiting for them, along with the band playing music and people waving flags in celebration. The prince instantly ran up to Augusta, thinking that she was the princess, because she was wearing the clothes of a princess. Oh, wise and kind princess, welcome to our kingdom. He said all that because it was believed in the faraway kingdom that all the princesses who came from Louise and Augusta's kingdom were indeed wise and kind. And that was true, except, of course, Augusta was not the princess. The prince helped Augusta off a falada, and he instantly got down on one knee and said, will you marry me? Because that was the tradition. And Augusta said, of course.

[Child 1]

No, no.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Now that they were engaged to be married, the prince quickly led Augusta inside the palace to get clean, cleaned up after her long journey. And everyone went with them. Everyone except for Louisa. After a while, the king looked out a palace window and saw that Luisa was still sitting on the mule. The king said to Augusta, did you.

[Child 4]

Bring someone with you? There's a young woman sitting on a mule out there.

[Adam Gidwitz]

And Augusta replied, oh, her?

[Child 3]

She's just a servant who acts like a princess.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Wow.

[Child 4]

Should I invite her inside?

[Child 3]

Heavens, no. She's such a pain. Give her a job far, far away from the palace. I never want to see her again.

[Adam Gidwitz]

So the king, who was kind and wise like all the kings and princes of this kingdom, but who also wanted to follow the wishes of his son's bride to be, went outside to help Louisa find a job far away from the palace. When the king came up to Louisa, he noticed that she was on the verge of tears. He said to her, excuse me, young.

[Child 4]

Lady, are you all right?

[Adam Gidwitz]

Luisa wanted to tell him everything. He seemed just as kind and wise as she'd always heard the kings and princes of this land were. But she didn't dare.

[Child 1]

Why, she would die.

[Adam Gidwitz]

So Louisa just shrugged. The king said, the princess has asked.

[Child 4]

That we give you a job far away from the palace. What kind of job would you like?

[Adam Gidwitz]

Louisa had never had a job before, and she did not know what to say. But just then, a boy called Little Conrad was passing by with a flock of geese. He was the goose boy, which meant he made sure none of the geese ran away or got eaten by a fox. The king saw him and called out.

[Child 4]

You there, Little Conrad. Take this young woman with you and teach her to tend the geese. She can be a goose girl.

[Adam Gidwitz]

And little Conrad said, okay.

[Child 1]

How old is Luisa, by the way?

[Adam Gidwitz]

She's just old enough to get married.

[Child 1]

So how old is little Conrad?

[Adam Gidwitz]

How old is little Conrad? He sounds like a little kid.

[Child 1]

Maybe five.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Yeah, maybe.

[Child 1]

Okay, then a five year old would be teaching a princess. That's so cute.

[Adam Gidwitz]

It is so cute. That is so cute. So Louisa went with Little Conrad. They went down to a stream where the geese liked to hop in the water and splash around.

[Child 2]

What do we do now?

[Adam Gidwitz]

Louisa asked Little Conrad.

[Child 3]

Just make sure the geese don't wander.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Off, said Little Conrad. Then he began to run around and play. And Louisa took the braids out of her hair and began to brush it, leaving the silken ribbon sitting beside her on the riverbank. Little Conrad saw the beautiful silken ribbons, and he wanted one. So he crept closer and closer until when Louisa wasn't looking, he grabbed a ribbon. He taunted her the way a little boy taunts his big sister.

[Child 3]

I got your ribbon. I got your ribbon.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Suddenly, without knowing why, she said it, Luisa said, blow, wind, blow.

[Child 2]

Take Conrad's hat away. Don't let him find it until I've combed my hair today.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Suddenly, a great wind came up and blew Little Conrad's cap off.

[Child 1]

I bet Conrad is like, okay, what the heck is happening right now? You didn't tell us she knew. Magic.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Yeah. Little Conrad was shocked, and actually, so was Louisa. Oh, but she laughed and watched him drop the ribbon and chase his cap all around the field as she sat and combed and then braided her hair again and put the ribbons back in it. Meanwhile, back at the palace, Augusta was being treated like a princess. And she loved it. She ordered everyone around.

[Child 3]

Get me another scoop of ice cream and no cherry on top this time.

[Adam Gidwitz]

She laughed at anyone who made a mistake.

[Child 3]

You clumsy fool.

[Adam Gidwitz]

And she sent back every dish at Least twice before she would taste anything.

[Child 3]

Ew, this looks gross. Make it again.

[Adam Gidwitz]

The prince and the king were perplexed. They had believed that the princesses and queens from Louisa and Augusta's kingdom were the kindest and wisest in the world. And this princess, well, she didn't seem wise or kind at all. And then a stable boy appeared and asked Augusta what was to be done with her horse, Falada.

[Child 3]

She said, I don't want it anymore. Take it away and kill it.

[Child 1]

Use me.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Everyone was horrified. The stable boy said, you want me.

[Child 2]

To kill your horse?

[Adam Gidwitz]

But he's beautiful. And he seems so easygoing and sweet.

[Child 3]

Oh, he's not, said Augusta. He's the worst. He tried to throw me a dozen times on our ride here. He pretends to be kind and good natured, but actually he's a horrible, mean creature.

[Child 1]

Oh, you mean like you?

[Adam Gidwitz]

Yeah. Well, the stable boy and the prince and even the king tried to convince Augusta not to have the horse killed. But she would not change her mind. You see, she had realized something. Thalada was a talking horse. So what? Why might this be a problem? Oh, yes.

[Child 1]

Because the horse heard her say that she wanted to be the princess and she would be the duchess.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Yep.

[Child 1]

So he didn't swear. The horse didn't swear to not tell. So he could tell and nothing would happen to him.

[Adam Gidwitz]

He could tell them the truth. Finally, Augusta said to the stable boy.

[Child 3]

If you won't cut off that horse's head, I'll have your head cut off.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Well, the prince and the king were horrified. And maybe the prince was starting to have second thoughts about marrying Augusta. But marriage between the prince and princess of these two kingdoms was required by law, treaty and tradition. And also, maybe she had a good reason for ordering this horrible thing. Maybe so. Very reluctantly, the stable boy went to the stable to kill Falada. This message is for the grownups. I've got a New Year's resolution. I've resolved to take a little of the household mental load off of my wife's shoulders by taking charge of the food shopping. Luckily, HelloFresh makes that so much easier. They deliver right to my doorstep with more than 50 wholesome hassle free meals to choose from each week, including 15 minute meals that take only three steps to cook. And there's over 100 add on items that you can add to your weekly box like quick breakfasts, packable snacks, beverages and more. Get up to 10 free meals and a free high protein item for [e-mail] grim10fm One item per box, with active subscription free meals applied as a discount on the first box. New subscribers only. Varies by plan. That's up to 10 free HelloFresh meals. Just go to hellofresh.com grim10fm HelloFresh America's number one meal kit.

[Child 5]

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[Adam Gidwitz]

Okay, how are you all doing? You're upset, right?

[Child 1]

Yeah.

[Adam Gidwitz]

All right. Something terrible might happen, but I promise you, everything is going to be okay. The stable boy took a big axe and was just about to cut off poor Falada's head when Luisa came back in from tending the geese.

[Child 2]

What are you doing to Falada?

[Adam Gidwitz]

The princess told me to kill him. What?

[Child 2]

Please don't do it.

[Adam Gidwitz]

I have to or else she'll have me killed. Luisa threw her arms around Falada's neck and wept. Which is when Falada whispered in her ear, don't worry, Princess, I'll be fine. Remember, I'm a talking horse. Luisa pulled away and looked into Falada's big deep eyes and said, huh? Falada said it again, trust me, I'll be fine. I'm a talking horse. Luisa replied, yeah, but you won't be.

[Child 2]

A talking horse after he cuts off your head. You'll be a dead horse.

[Adam Gidwitz]

But again Falada said, trust me. Also, ask the stable boy to put my head somewhere I can see you. And you can see me every day.

[Child 2]

What? That's gross and sad. Are you sure?

[Child 1]

That's horrible. You're just like hi dead head of my horse.

[Adam Gidwitz]

One last time, Falada said, princess, trust me now. The stable boy hadn't heard any of this. He'd stepped away to give Luisa one last moment with the horse that she seemed to love so much. But when he came back, Luisa asked that if he really must kill the horse, would he nail its head to the bridge that led to the stream where she and little Conrad tended the geese. That way she could see her friend Falada and remember him. And the stable boy said, what? That's gross and sad. Are you sure? Luisa wasn't sure, but she trusted Falada, so she nodded. And so it was done. The next day, as Louisa and little Conrad were leading the geese out to the stream, they walked under Falada's head.

[Child 1]

That's disgusting.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Yeah, it is disgusting. And as they did, Falada's mouth began to move. Falada's head said, oh, if your mother only knew her heart would break in two. Luisa. And Conrad said, oh, my God. But then Luisa clambered up the stone side of the bridge and threw her arms around Falada's decapitated head. And only got a little blood on her dress because it had mostly dried.

[Child 1]

I'm gonna puke. I'm gonna puke.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Falada whispered, I told you to trust me. Now go be on your way. So Louisa and little Conrad went on their way. Soon they reached the stream, and Louisa let down her hair and started to comb it. And little Conrad really wanted one of those silk ribbons. He snuck up behind Louisa, but Luisa saw him coming and said, blow, wind, blow.

[Child 2]

Take Conrad's hat away. Don't let him find it until I've combed my hair today.

[Adam Gidwitz]

And the wind suddenly picked up little Conrad's hat and blew it in dizzying circles. And he had to keep jumping up and down and running in circles until finally he caught it. By which point, Luisa had finished combing her hair and braiding it and pulling, putting the ribbons back in. Life went on like this every day. Luisa and Little Conrad would walk under Falada's head, and Falada would say, oh, if your mother only knew her heart would break in two. And while Luisa got used to it and was happy to see her beloved Falada and Hear his voice. And she would throw her arms around the horse's head. Little Conrad never failed to scream in terror because it was a talking horse and it was objectively freaky. Then Louisa and little Conrad would sit by the stream, and little Conrad would try to steal a ribbon. And Louisa would say, blow, wind, blow.

[Child 2]

Take Conrad's hat away. Don't let him find it until I've combed my hair today.

[Adam Gidwitz]

And the wind would carry little Conrad's hat away. Louisa could not understand why she suddenly seemed to have magical powers and why she only only seem to have them here by the stream.

[Child 1]

I have an idea.

[Adam Gidwitz]

What do you think?

[Child 1]

I think because she dropped her handkerchief there.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Oh. Explain what you mean.

[Child 1]

I mean no. When she got water for Augusta, the handkerchief around her wrist just dropped into the stream. And then the stream is where the geese played in. So maybe she has magical powers. Only there.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Interesting. Luisa did not understand why she suddenly had magical powers there by the stream. Until one day when she bent over the stream to take a drink of water. And she saw, caught between two rocks by the bank, Louisa picked up the handkerchief and held it to her cheek. And then she tied it very tightly now around her wrist. At just that moment, little Conrad leapt and tried to steal a silken ribbon, but Louisa was too fast.

[Child 2]

Blow, wind, blow. Take Conrad's hat away. Don't let him find it until I've combed my hair today.

[Adam Gidwitz]

And the hat blew off little Conrad's head. But on this day, little Conrad did not go chasing it. Instead, he decided he'd had enough. This girl seemed to be able to control the winds. And every day a horse talked to them, and she hugged it. And little Conrad decided that he needed to tell someone what was happening. So he went to the palace and he went looking for Augusta.

[Child 1]

The king.

[Adam Gidwitz]

The king and not Augusta. Thankfully, little Conrad told the king. So every day on our way out of town with the geese, we walk.

[Child 3]

Under a horse's head. And then the heads to Luisa, and.

[Child 2]

Then she hugs it.

[Adam Gidwitz]

And then she talks to the wind.

[Child 2]

And the wind listens.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Well, the king thought that this was very suspicious. So that very day he went to find Louisa. He walked under the bridge where Falada's head was nailed up and walked out to the stream. The king found Luisa with the geese, with the handkerchief tied around her wrist and the spots of blood on the collar of her dress. He asked her to explain what was happening, but Louisa refused. Why did you refuse to explain what was happening?

[Child 1]

Because then she died. Because she would die instantly.

[Adam Gidwitz]

The king said, something very suspicious is going on. And Luisa said, I agree, because she didn't think saying that would trigger instant death.

[Child 4]

I think I should get to the.

[Child 2]

Bottom of it, said, I really agree.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Said Louisa, even though she was taking a risk that maybe lightning would shoot down from the open skies and incinerate her, or maybe an anvil would fly out of nowhere and knock her head off. Or maybe you get the idea. But none of that happened.

[Child 4]

The king said, well, if you're not going to tell me what's going on, how can I get to the bottom of it?

[Adam Gidwitz]

Luisa glanced up at the skies, winced, and said, ask the horse. Suddenly, no lightning came out of the sky. No anvil flew out of nowhere. She did not die. Luisa stopped wincing. After all, she hadn't told him. So the king went back to the bridge and stood under the horse's head. And the king asked, what can you.

[Child 4]

Tell me about the good?

[Adam Gidwitz]

And Falada told him everything. That night, the king brought Louisa into the castle.

[Child 4]

He told her, hide under the great table where we'll have our dinner and listen to what we say.

[Adam Gidwitz]

So Louisa did. Soon after, the prince and Augusta came in and sat down to eat. The king said, today I heard the.

[Child 4]

Strangest sound story about a princess who was betrayed by her own cousin.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Augusta cried in horror.

[Child 3]

Oh, how awful. Can you imagine?

[Adam Gidwitz]

Why do you think she's answering that way?

[Child 1]

Because. Because she did it. She is the cousin. Yeah, she's a cousin.

[Adam Gidwitz]

The king went on.

[Child 4]

This cousin was supposed to be the princess's friend and lifelong companion. But she stole the princess's clothes and. And made the princess pretend to be her servant on pain of death.

[Adam Gidwitz]

And Augusta began to feel a little nervous. So more loudly than before, she cried, how repulsive. The king said, and the princess was.

[Child 4]

Supposed to marry a prince, but the cousin tricked the prince into asking her to marry him instead. So the cousin and the prince were engaged.

[Child 3]

No.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Cried Augusta, trying very hard now to hide how familiar the story sounded to her. The king went on, and to top.

[Child 4]

It all off, the cousin banished the true princess. So the princess had to work with the filthy farm animals.

[Adam Gidwitz]

And Augusta, more loudly and dramatically than before, exclaimed, how disgusting.

[Child 3]

Really, that is the most awful repulsion, compulsive, disgusting thing I have ever heard.

[Child 1]

Then why did you do it?

[Adam Gidwitz]

She was really playing up her reaction, of course, because she was terrified the king and the prince might suspect that she had done the same thing.

[Child 1]

Well, duh.

[Child 4]

The king said, what punishment on earth is good enough for a betrayer? Such as this?

[Adam Gidwitz]

I can't think of any, said Augusta very loudly.

[Child 3]

Nothing is awful enough.

[Child 1]

She shouldn't say that.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Hmm.

[Child 4]

Nothing. What about hanging?

[Child 3]

Make it worse.

[Child 1]

I have an idea. Getting your body ripped in half.

[Child 4]

What about her body getting ripped in half?

[Child 3]

Make it worse.

[Child 1]

The most horrible way to die is head exploding and bunny farts.

[Adam Gidwitz]

The king said, what about so many.

[Child 4]

Bunnies farting on her that her head explodes?

[Adam Gidwitz]

And Augusta screamed, yes, that's what she deserves. The king suddenly became very still.

[Child 4]

Then that's just what you'll get.

[Adam Gidwitz]

The color drained from Augusta's face, which is when Luisa came out from under the table. When Augusta saw her, she bellowed, you.

[Child 3]

You swore under the open heavens you wouldn't tell. You will be struck down dead for your oath breaking.

[Adam Gidwitz]

I didn't tell, said Luisa.

[Child 2]

Falada did.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Augusta's mouth fell open.

[Child 3]

But I thought. I thought Falada was dead.

[Adam Gidwitz]

And Luisa replied, yes, but he's a talking horse.

[Child 3]

That doesn't explain anything.

[Adam Gidwitz]

But it was too late. She was already being dragged off to a room full of hundreds and hundreds of very flatulent bunnies who would fart on her until her head exploded.

[Child 1]

That's creepy. Beautiful.

[Adam Gidwitz]

And then Luisa and the prince were engaged and eventually married. And Falada's head was brought into the castle. And Luisa talked to it all the time.

[Child 1]

It's like her personal advisor.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Yeah, it's like her dead horsehead personal advisor. And Luisa took the braids out of her hair and gave the ribbons to little Conrad. And they all lived happily ever after. The end.

[Child 1]

Good always when bad.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Good always defeats bad in these stories. It's true. Okay, anyone have any questions about this story?

[Child 1]

Why shall Conrad just sit there while Luisa just hugs a dead head? He's like, horse head.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Good point.

[Child 1]

No, like, while Luis is, like, hugging it, he's just, like, looking around. He's, like, thinking of other stuff.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Nothing weird is happening.

[Child 1]

Nothing weird is happening. It must be traumatized. It must be traumatizing for him. He's five years old.

[Adam Gidwitz]

Yeah. Just like any kid listening to this story right now. Must be traumatized.

[Child 1]

Oh, my God.

[Adam Gidwitz]

I am grim. Grimmer Grimaced Is a Pinna Original production created, written and narrated by me, Adam Gidwitz author of A Tale Dark and Grim co written by Ali Horne Produced and edited by Ilana Milner Casting by Paula Gammon Wilson Voice direction by Ilana Milner and Paula Gammon Wilson Sound design and mixing by Beat Street NYC Executive produced by Ann Richards Production support by Ashley Beecher and Thaddeus Dankwa characters voiced by Alison Lee Rosenfeld, Baron Bass, Billy Bob Thompson, Cat Britano, Sanofia Mitchell, Colin Ryan, Dylan Jones, Erica Schroeder, Kaelyn Clinton, Kylie Claxton, Lori Hymes, Michael Crouch, Mike Pollock, Nicholas Korda, and Rob Morera. Special thanks to all the kids who joined us for our storytelling sessions. You guys are awesome.

[Child 2]

Do you like to laugh? Ah, who am I kidding? Who doesn't like to laugh? So, okay, if you love to laugh, you'll love Don't Break the Rules. It's a hilarious comedy improv podcast where the voice actors make up their lines on the spot and try to be the only actor who doesn't break the rules. These talented actors are great at coming up with silly scenes and stories when they follow the rules for the episode, and it gets even sillier when they accidentally break the rules. The stories are guided by suggestions from kids like you, and the episodes feature laughs, burps, and the occasional unicorn. So if you'd like to giggle and play along, be sure to listen to Don't Break the Rules. Wherever you listen to podcasts.