B (42:43)
And that was my biggest thing. I'm like, I want to talk to everybody who. Talking to people, because I want to know what we're seeing, what we're doing. And one, I want to affirm you and your gift, and thank you for sharing that, because I do think it's incredible that we've been able to experience things like this, and we come back from it, because not everybody comes back from it. And so for me, my experience was similar in a way where I had very auditory and visual hallucinations. And I actually showed up to class naked. So in my mind, it was actually Easter of 2017. So it started Good Friday, and by Easter Monday, I literally am running into my classroom, like, derobing. And so that professor, Dr. Dick, was the professor of the day, and we had a presentation. And actually, my presentation, we was going to be talking about Zionism. We was going to be talking about a lot of stuff I was about to present on. But in my mind, I was in a different place. And it was like Judgment Day. My heart had to be as light as a feather. I was getting ready to go somewhere, but I wasn't prepared to go. I kept saying, I'm not going. I'm not going. I have work to do, work to do. I have to stay. I have work to do. And I was, like, fighting to stay. And there was, like, a dark energy, and I just was like, I have to stay, I have to stay, I have to stay. And so I stayed, and I ended up hospitalized. The police came, but my classmates and my professor protected me, so the police didn't take me. And so I'm very grateful for that because I wasn't, you know, I wouldn't. White people couldn't talk to me or look at me. So if you were talking to me, I would make you look to the ground or. My mom said I was kicking him out the hospital room left and right. But it was like, I would talk to, like, my professor, my classmates, the police talking to me stone cold. Like, I wouldn't say nothing. I wouldn't talk to him. White people could not talk to me. There was two white people. I said, I know you. I remember in the Paramount, I said, I know you. And, like, they were good. So I kind of knew who was, like, good and who was evil and all these types of things. And it was an incredible experience. But at the same time, it was scary. And there's. My previous partner was there for everything and hearing. I heard the story for the first time from their perspective. Literally, really recently, like a week ago. This was seven years, eight years ago. And I'm like, whoa. So it didn't just happen to me. It really happened. And, like, you experience this and you understand what that was. But for me, I kept going back and forth around like, okay, was this spiritual? Is this something wrong? Right? So when I got to the hospital, they did give me antipsychotics, sedated me, all this type of stuff. My family drove down and met me four hours away. And I just remember still pointing at stuff. By the time my dad came to, you know, everyone's in the hospital. I'm still seeing stuff, but they gave me the antipsychotics, and I stayed on the antipsychotics for about three, three weeks, and then I graduated. This is around the time of me graduating with my undergraduate degree from A and T. And so I go to my graduation, but during graduation, like, my lips are all tingly. I'm starting to feel weird. I'm like, something's up. But I'm like, okay, I tried a new chapstick today. Maybe it's an allergic reaction to this chapstick. And so then I go to, like, the psychiatrist, say, hey, my lips are tingly. I'm feeling kind of weird. They're like, well, maybe it's just, you know, it's nothing. Da, da, da. Weeks later, I'm red as a lobster. I'm just starting to get really sick, really weak. My skin is just, like, really raw. So we go to the doctor. They're talking about, you got scarlet fever. You got all this type of random misdiagnoses. And so at that point, we're like, no, I'm just getting progressively worse every single day. We're going to the doctors and my partner at the time literally Google some stuff like they tell you not to do. And it's like, nah, she has this. And they was like, actually, they ran my liver labs and everything. They said, yes, she does. She's an acute liver failure. Da, da, da da. And they rushed me to the hospital, and I was put on steroids. So I ended up having a rare drug allergic reaction to the antipsychotics that I was given. And so that's where my research also talks about, like, the misdiagnoses, understanding, spirituality versus mental health, and then this whole complex with medicine and all the things. Right. And so I've never been on medication since then. The steroids obviously helped save my life, and I'm grateful for it. But it's been a process of trying to really break that down and really understand it. Because even when you asked earlier, like, what does that journey been? Like, I'm constantly asking myself, what if I'm wrong? Like, what if. What if I'm tripping? What if this is all bullshit? Like, I'm constantly doing that to myself. And I think you have to do that to yourself to really be grounded in your belief. Or. And for me, it's. I'm beyond belief at this point now. I'm dealing with gnosis, knowledge and understanding and wisdom. Yeah. And so I don't believe in.