B (2:55)

Yeah, he. He. You know, he military dude, but he also like, you know what I'm saying? He just solid dude in general.

A (3:01)

I gotta start, like, expanding probably Dolo. And I don't mean nothing by it. I just. I don't know, bro. I think it's some Baltimore, bro. I really just.

B (3:11)

You be on your own world.

A (3:12)

Yeah.

B (3:12)

I mean, you working like a though, so it's like, you know, you can't really separate the two. You need time to yourself. Yeah, I think that's the most important part. No, that's like, I. I didn't. I didn't value that. Last year, yeah, I did everything I was invited to. I said yes to the dress, bruh.

A (3:30)

But I feel like that helps you, like, connect what people know.

B (3:32)

It does, but it also is like, you. You don't. You got to remember that. You got to take time to yourself too. It's a balance for sure. How long you been. How long you been podcasting? Because you've been in it for a minute.

A (3:50)

Yeah, I've been. So I got in radio 2016, I started podcasting. Like, was it 2019, 2020, maybe 2019, 2020. That's when I, like, actually started podcasting.

B (4:01)

Did you. Did you have, like, aspirations to be in radio, like, as a career? How did you stumble into the radio world?

A (4:08)

So I was hosting, like, I was hosting, like, big events, like step shows, fashion shows. Then I started hosting parties and clubs in the city. And then somebody was like, bro, like, what you gonna do outside of the parties? You might as well just get into radio. My homegirl was her name Raven Paris? She was. She had this radio show called Love the Culture Radio, and she was having, like, auditions, and somebody was like, yo, just audition. And I never really wanted to be radio because, like, I don't know, I just. I played football, so playing football, I'm like, I'm a star. Like, I ran a track, I played four. I'm like, asking why I don't care about nobody. Like, I didn't care about nobody. So I tried out. I got it, and then, like, I just dived all the way in, bro.

B (4:50)

Yeah.

A (4:51)

Yeah. It was crazy.

B (4:52)

You can catch that bug, that media bug a month.

A (4:55)

It's crazy how I went from, like, not really caring to, like. Like, how I really studied a sport of interviewing and the art of, like, just. I really lock in study. It's crazy. It's like a whole three. 180 for.

B (5:07)

Yeah, 180. 180. When you was in. So you went to college for football?

A (5:11)

Yeah, well, I didn't go to college football. I went to college myself. My major was sociology. I played football in college, and I was still tracking college. I went to McDaniel College first, and then I went to Morgan State.

B (5:20)

Okay, gotcha.

A (5:21)

Yeah. So. But then I end up getting kicked out of Morgan and graduate from Cotton State.

B (5:25)

Yeah. All right. Right up top, though. This your camera right here, if you want to just plug who you, what your page is, name of your podcast where people can find it, scheduling and stuff like that. All right, you good? We rolling? Oh, we've been rolling.

A (5:39)

Oh, I'm about to say I ain't know.

B (5:40)

No, I just moved right into it, bro.

A (5:42)

Okay, now we outside. What up, baby? How you feeling, bro?

B (5:45)

I'm good, man.

A (5:45)

Appreciate you, dog.

B (5:46)

Yeah, for sure.

A (5:46)

You've been going crazy. Yeah, yo, like, this is different, bro.

B (5:51)

I ain't gonna lie. Since we did our joint. Yeah, I should went. First of all, even with audio issues and everything, our really went north crazy.

A (5:59)

Nobody even know that. I'm like, bro, y' all don't even understand that our mics wasn't on.

B (6:04)

Yeah, we had to pull. So we went over there. We had. It would have been a nightmare for you, Ferg, specifically. We had the road going, and whatever they had ran out of memory.

A (6:17)

Like 20 minutes in 20 minutes.

B (6:19)

And we talked for two hours.

A (6:21)

Two hours, bro.

B (6:21)

And we didn't realize until it was over. So he had to pull the audio from the camera so it sound a little fucked up. But nobody, like, because of the conversation.

A (6:30)

I put it on audio enhancer, like the Adobe audio enhancer. So, like, it kind of helped it out. But, you know, with that, it was a. It was like four of us talking. So sometimes when everybody talking it, it blank out.

B (6:42)

That's why I was telling you to plug. You know what I'm saying? This you right here. That's your camera. Just. I'll let the people. Let them know who you is. What's your podcast? All that.

A (6:49)

Mr. J. Hill. J. Hill podcast. I have a podcast called One Percent Better Podcast. Yeah. Instagram, Mr. J. Hill, everything.

B (6:57)

Yeah, yeah.

A (6:58)

Like, you know.

B (6:58)

Yeah, same old thing. Yeah, man. One thing I noticed, like, I would be trying to figure out, like, what the sauce is. Your ass be pulling some hella guests. Like, some guests, like, really left field. But You've been doing it for a while. So even early on, you was getting. Before you was prominent in the podcast space, you were still getting great guests. What do you attest that to, bro?

A (7:23)

You just make me feel away, man. Cause I feel like that's how I started. And I just. When I started, nobody really knew me. So, like, I was. I was the one that was persistent. Everybody been asking me this question since the beginning. I haven't really got it recently because I haven't been tapping to the guest as much. But I just reach out, bro. Like, I was. I was persistent. You know what I'm saying? Like, before, people knew my name. And I think that's what helped me be persistent because, like, I got messages in Wallow DM going back to 2018, you know what I'm saying? We just did the interview. I don't know if it was last year or the year before last year, I'm saying. So I always been meek mill. Like any guest ti. You could go three, four, five years, and I'm non stop. Yo, what's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? I think it changed when I kind of got popular because it went from the messages not to be. To be seen not being seen to being left on red. You know what I'm saying? I'm still a man. I'm still a. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, man, fuck that. Like, y' all clearly see me, so it's cool. I'm good off of that. But I think it helped me when nobody knew me. Cause I ain't.

B (8:21)

Yeah, I'm just beating the dm. You're shameless, right?

A (8:23)

Yeah, I'm beating the DM up.

B (8:25)

That'd be. The tough thing for me right now is like, I got two messages in me.

A (8:29)

That's it.

B (8:30)

I send the first one. It's a courtesy. If you ignore it, I send that second one. After that, I'm out. And it's like. It's not like it's a little ego, it's a little pride involved in it, but it's also like, all right, you know what I'm saying? When you see this or if you decide to respond one day, then we'll get it popping like it ain't no love lost. But from you transitioning, you kind of came into the podcast at, like, quote unquote, the boom of podcasting, which was locked down. But what made you kind make that shift? Because it's. It become oversaturated at that point. But it's also like, if you started and you. And you still do it now, you damn near master class at podcast.

A (9:11)

Yeah, bro. You know, I just kept getting fired. It's like I'm be real, like. And then I just couldn't like the job thing, bro. Like, one thing about me, I work my ass off. You feel me? So, like, I never really saw myself as an entrepreneur until I got to Atlanta. Cause I never really understood what it was. I never knew what it was. I never knew what I was doing. So I just know I always had jobs when I was hosting in the club. So once I got into radio, radio was paying like 12, 13, maybe, maybe $15 an hour. And that shit wasn't doing nothing for me. So I'm like, okay, I'm in radio. And then also I understood the landscape early. So I got into Internet radio before I got into terrestrial radio, right? So I'm in Internet radio. I'm like, man, I'm hitting the ground running. I'm traveling on my own, promote my show. It's an Internet radio show. And then when I got into like to rush your radio, I understood the landscape. Like I got in as a. A mixer, like a overnight on the board op. But then they let me crack the mic and like host the, the mix shows and things like that. For the people that don't know, that's like the overnight shift. So like my first week I was able to crack the mic, which is a blessing. God bless. But at the same time, it's like, man, I want a full time gig. You know? I'm saying, like, the full time gig is only four of them. You got the. The early morning, the I think is the afternoon, the mid, the midday and then late night. And I'm like, man, these niggas ain't going nowhere. So I'm like, man, I'm gonna just keep building my own. So I remember getting. I had a job at KYS and DC and I had a job at weaa and that's at Morgan. I got fired from wea. And I never forget telling Alex. I'm like, man, we might as well just start this podcast. And I started my podcast with my lady at the time and it went crazy, bro. It was like. It went crazy. Yeah, yeah, it went crazy.

B (10:51)

Was it. It was more so based around like relationships and things like that or just.

A (10:55)

Yeah, relationships. Yeah, toxic relationships.

B (10:57)

Toxic relationships.

A (10:58)

It was. No, we was young and like, we got into it because like, she was a Scorpio, I'm a Gemini, and like we was like, man, our sign. Like, everybody hate these two signs just in some zodiac. And then we was having real life conversations online that we. It was entertainment for so many other people, and they loved it because it was real and raw. But at the same time, when we left, man, we. We done potting and we done talking for the rest of the day. People don't see that. They like, yo, we love y' all podcast. It's so real. We go through the same thing. They're like, yeah, but y' all not talking about it.

B (11:33)

You done turned your relationship into reality TV facts, bro. You know, it's a. It's a. It's a flaw of youth, though. Like, you just. You know, in theory, that could work, but not in reality, not in practice either, because it's like, also, there's an audience to your argument, so people taking sides. And that's an ego thing too.

A (11:54)

Yeah, and it got. Bro, it was bad, bro. It was super bad because, like, we wasn't mature in the conversations, and we thought we was doing something and the conversations were good, but we just weren't handling it in a mature way. And I think if we would handle it in a mature way, it would have been good. But, like, then we had problems in our relationship too. Like, it was.

B (12:10)

She was young too, man.

A (12:11)

You know what I'm saying?

B (12:13)

Is that what kind of paved the way for the 1% better podcast.

A (12:18)

So 1% better podcast is just me trying to, like, have my own voice. I understood it a while ago. So, like, now it's like, it's not a. A lot of. I don't want to say focus on promotion. I just do it. You know what I'm saying? I. I told myself I'm gonna still focus on the interviews because I kind of got away from that. And I'm like, man, I'm tired of just having a My. Because my interviews, they do pretty decent every time I have a guest. But it's like, whenever I don't have a guest or I don't have somebody popular, it don't do good. And I was tired of, like, having my. My show be centered around my guests. Sometimes I might just do something on my own. But then I was talking to my homie. He was like, man, you just gotta embrace what you good at, you know? I'm saying, like, a lot of people clearly love your question, so don't. Don't go away from it. Just walk deeper into it. And I'm like, man, you know what? I'm just gonna go back to the Guest thing.

B (12:58)

Yeah.

A (12:58)

So, yeah, yeah.

B (12:59)

I mean, whatever your strength is, you know, I have the opposite problem. You know what I mean? And it's like, you know, I'm at that place now where it's like, man, I'll be having some great guests on. Like, I wish I would tap in the way y' all tap into the solos, but I just feel like it's one of those things where it's just, like, you need to stay consistent. I'm trying, like, different marketing strategies towards it. It's an easier sell than a solo, though, I would say, like, it's easier to sell a conversation with somebody else than a solo joint. So I don't know.

A (13:29)

I think I love the way you did it. I was saying it. I mean, from day one, you having your own voice. Because even if you bring a solo and if we just look at. We study how, let's say Joe Button, right? He's not like the greatest podcast of all time, but when it comes to our culture, he's one of them, right? So, like, we look at Joe Button, he's built the audience just for him, and he's put people around him that people enjoy the conversation that he has. So when you bring a guest in, it's really just a plus.

B (13:54)

Yeah, it's a plus.

A (13:54)

You know what I'm saying? So, like, I think. I don't know, bro. You know, I love what you doing.

B (13:58)

I appreciate it, bro. Yeah, I'm enjoying it, too, bro. It's like, from a year ago, I believe it was right around a year ago that we came on your show to now is like a completely different world.

A (14:10)

Completely different world. I remember seeing it. I'm like, yo, this nigga ain't. It was just hit after hit, like, it was like Fetty Wap during his run. It's like this in our grill. Stop.

B (14:25)

It ain't gonna stop. You know what I'm saying?

A (14:28)

I'm telling Alex. I'm always using as a reference. I'm like, yo, but I, I, I think it works because you, you just be you.

B (14:35)

Yeah, right.

A (14:36)

Like, and I think especially the world we in today, I feel like I think we're getting away from so many things, like, when it comes to traditional things, and either if you like it or hate it, whatever the case may be, I think you have a voice where so many people who wasn't able to speak to these situations until now, it's like, it's. And even now might not be okay, but it's like, oh, he's the one that Speak to what I've been feeling the whole time. And I think that's. I mean, I think that's dope, bro. We see so many people, even in the music industry. Like, I remember talking to. I think it was Drama or Don Cannon. I remember talking to Don Cannon, and not. I said, canon, whatever. And he was like, I remember we first signed Lil Uzi, and everybody was coming at the little Uzi. Like, yo, y' all should sign me. I'm the next little Uzi. It's like, bro, I already signed Uzi. I don't need another little Uzi.

B (15:26)

Yeah, I don't need a next little Uzi.

A (15:27)

You feel me? So it's like the same with you. You came in a game, and it was like, we didn't see this, you know, even if we saw glimpses of it. It was nothing like this, right? And I think that's. That's why it's so special.

B (15:38)

Yeah, it come with a. It's odd territory, right, to be. You know, to blaze a trail in that way. Because what it is is it bring a lot of, like, hate from people that want to occupy the space and can't. So, like, I've been balancing that because I got so much love in the beginning that now it's like, hate trains. Like, you know, it's. It's weird to have people, like, hosting panels about you and trying to poke holes and, like, your identity and shit, or just, like, dedicating entire lives to you. And it's like, I don't even know you niggas, bro. Like, but so there is, like, a. An impulse to defend myself. And then there's also, like, a history of, like, I know that this gonna go away. And I also, like, there's nothing to defend.

A (16:27)

Yeah.

B (16:28)

You know what I mean? But it just kind of come with the territory in an odd way, you

A (16:31)

know, for sure, you know, man.

B (16:33)

But I'm happy, You know what I mean? Like, I love this. I've been inspired by you more than anything because, you know, oh, all this traveling and, you know, you city to city, you not eating the best and, like, that. I just started feeling like I'm breathing heavy. And I was like, man, I didn't get out there and get right.

A (16:49)

Yeah. And I think I've seen you and

B (16:50)

Babe been, like, two of the people that I've been looking at.

A (16:52)

I appreciate. I seen. I seen you talking about that on. I don't know if it was the Breakfast Club, one of your interviews, you were saying, like, that's the next thing you want to do that was, like. That was, like, hard for you.

B (17:01)

Yeah, that's gonna be like. That's gonna be like. That's my chrysalis.

A (17:05)

Yeah.

B (17:06)

That's gonna be coming out of my cocoon for real.

A (17:08)

I feel like, bro, you don't. I mean, some things we don't need cameras for. Like, I do it because, like, yeah,

B (17:13)

that ain't camera work for me.

A (17:14)

Yeah, I think that ain't camera work for me, but I think you could do it now, bro. Like, we sleep on, like, small steps, right? I was looking at this conversation with the dude that wrote Atomic Habits, right? And I always knew this. It's like, just taking small steps in, like, increments or, like, even if you go to the gym for five minutes, it might sound crazy, but it'll create a habit, right? You know what I'm trying to say? Like, so, like, even when I seen it, I'm like, man, I want to holler at him because, like, it wasn't nothing for public, but it's just like, bro, like, that's light. You know what I'm saying? You'd be surprised how you get on that high. You feel me? Like, now you get to working out, you see one small change. Oh, no, it's lit. I'm out. Like, you know what I'm saying? I'm going even a little longer. And I'll never forget, I think David Banner was talking about how, like, somebody inspired him, and he was like, man, even if you go to the gym and you just sit outside, or if you go to the gym and you just go for a minute, you know what I'm saying? Nobody never had went to the gym. Like, man, I wish I ain't go to the gym today. It was never one time. I don't feel like running before the run, but it was never a time I got done my running. I was like, man, I wish I ain't run today. You know what I'm saying? So if there's anything I could help with, like, inspire you, bro, you can get up a little early or just five minutes, bro. You know what I'm saying? Five minutes. I promise you.

B (18:18)

It's a spot up the street. I literally. I have the end of December, early January. It was, of course, like New Year. So everybody was like, all right, what we doing for the new year? So I had kind of scheduled all the way up until mid February, and I was looking at the back end of February to the middle of March. And I was like, man, I don't got nothing I was like, all right, from now on, I don't book nothing before. Like, anything before 11:00am I'm not doing. Because I want to carve out time in the morning, like, drop my baby off and go.

A (18:51)

That's fine.

B (18:52)

And so we approaching that. Me and Big Cat was literally just talking about that on the way up here.

A (18:55)

I wish y' all nothing but the best, bro. To the innovative thing, man, I feel like. Or the trailblazer thing, you know, it's sad, bro, but it's the way of the world, bro. Like, if ain't saying nothing about you, you ain't making enough noise.

B (19:10)

You ain't making no noise.

A (19:11)

Think about the people like Martin Luther King, the people like Malcolm X, right? Like, it was so many people, and those two were super successful in their own right, but they were so different.

B (19:18)

Different.

A (19:19)

And it was so many people that criticized Martin, so many people that criticized Malcolm. You know what I'm saying? So, like, yeah, you're gonna have all these people that's talking negative on you, but it's because they don't understand. And one, one, they don't understand. Two, they wish they had what you had, right? Their voices ain't loud enough because they ain't making an impact enough. You know what I'm trying to say? And I think, like, even something as. As big as the. I remember when you pulled up with the trump suit and the devil horns, right?

B (19:41)

Yeah, you go.

A (19:42)

That's a statement. You know what I'm saying? Like, whether you agree with it or not, Like, I know when I seen him, like, damn. Like, I was like. I was like. I understood why, but I'm like, yo, I thought it was. I'm big on observations. And I'm like, yo, it's so crazy how this is the place we're in, right? So, like, I'm like, I'm not even gonna react to it or nothing like that, but I just know it was interesting. But you have so many people who aren't intellectual thinkers, you know what I'm saying? Like, they can. They will see something. They respond firsthand without even just giving it a little a second. Right?

B (20:11)

Right.

A (20:12)

So the fact that you have so many people talking about what you're doing, man, that's powerful, bro. Yeah, that's powerful.

B (20:16)

I'm embracing it. You know what I mean? You know, I talk to, like, the people that's the closest to me because it's, like, at the end of the day, like, regardless of what the impact is and how, like, proud of myself I am, and like, what I've built, I'm still human. So like, I have those emotions attached to it and to talk through it. And it's like, you know, imagine if you was doing this and you was on episode 115 and nobody was saying you would be desperate for somebody just to react if you was just so it's like you gotta kind of take it with the territory. And like, that's been a thing I've been embracing. And you know, to your point that 1% better is like something that you live by, Like, I noticed that you are in a constant state of like, self improvement. What's a key difference that you can see in yourself from J. Hill now to J. Hill five years ago?

A (21:13)

Man, just self control. You know, I made this post not, I think it was yesterday and it was like, man, do we have to go through those things of self sabotage to get to this point? Because like, we go through so many things and we've seen like anything. Like, we talk about sex, sexual misconduct, just bad tempers, whatever you want to think about. I'm like, bro, do we have to go through all that just to get here? You know what I'm saying? Like, do we have to touch the stove to understand that it's hot? Why can't I learn from somebody else to understand that it's hot and not have to touch it myself? So like, now that I'm like 34, it's like, man, you know, I don't, I don't have a need to prove myself to nobody, right? Like, like I said, I got kicked out of, I got kicked out of like six elementary schools, three different, two different colleges. I went to three different colleges, all for the fighting. Getting fired from jobs off of fighting. Like, literally my entire life was a fight, right? So it's like, man, you change your mentality, you change your mind, you can change your life. You know what I'm saying? Like, so it's not a problem that I'm fighting. What you fighting for, right? Let's redirect this, right? Like, we fighting to, to. To show somebody that you ain't a. Like, I ain't gotta show nobody I ain't a right. Not being a business, actually walking away from that, not being a bitch, taking my, Taking care of my family, you know what I'm saying? Like, not being a really being in a position to be able to see tomorrow so I can be able to put my kids in a better position than I was, you know what I'm saying? Like, so, like, I really walked by That I regurgitated it a lot when I was young, 10 plus years ago. But now I walk in it, I'm saying there's nothing that somebody could say that's gonna get me on my character. Yeah, I'm human. So I, you know what I'm saying? We have times where it's like, yeah, don't get it up. But at the same time it's like, bro, I'm not, I'm not emotionally driven by anything. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like I'm. I'm happy in my space no matter what. Where is it, you feel me? Like, whether I got zero dollars in my pocket to a million dollars in my pocket, like I'm grounded in this. And I think that's probably the biggest change. Had to think about it, to be honest.

B (23:05)

Yeah. I was looking at something you posted the other day. You say we gotta rebrand as black men.

A (23:13)

Yep.

B (23:14)

The false narratives of what manhood is in the black community specifically is killing us. Can you expand a little bit more on your mindset?

A (23:22)

Yeah, man, I feel like, you know, and I'm torn. Cause I'm human too, right? Like, I love rap music, but we would be foolish if we understand what it's doing to us, right? Like, I love the fast food, but we be crazy if we don't understand what it's doing to us. Like I said, I. When I was younger, I enjoyed having multiple women. But we crazy if we don't understand what it's doing to us, right? But all of this came before us. So yeah, I might not be the man of yesterday, you know what I'm saying? And I shouldn't have to take on the problems that come with it. But that's the reality of it, right? Like, so when it comes to the music, what we listen to, like what we eat and what we feeding ourselves, the environments that we in and like the, the constant mindset or the mind stroke that we doing, giving ourselves, you know what I'm saying? It just puts us behind the eight bird ball, you know what I'm saying? It's like, man, imagine if you came up in a television shows wasn't killing. Imagine if you came up in a rap wasn't talking about, man, this is that, you know what I'm saying? Like, imagine what our lives would be because that was fed to us since we was kids. So. So naturally I came up thinking like, oh, I need, I'm a player, you know what I'm saying? Getting six, five girls. Five, six girls, you know what I'M saying, like. And what happened is the. The hood creator a trap. He said, like, the hood create this false. Like, what is it called? Narrative or not even narrative. It's like a. I don't know the exact word, but it's like they create this false. What's supposed to be right. Right. And then what happened is.

B (24:44)

Oh, like a false standard.

A (24:46)

A false. Exactly what it is. So like the hood create a false standard, you live by that standard, then you get rewarded by living by that standard whole time. The standard not even right.

B (24:55)

Nah, it's a fucked up.

A (24:56)

It's a fucked up standard. So now it's like, all right, the standard is, let me go get some bitches. You know what I'm saying? Let me go get some money, let me do this, do that, do that. And you living by a standard that shouldn't even be a standard. And then when you abide by the standard, they reward you for it. So you keep making the same mistake, and then you learn that, oh, this ain't right. But by the time you learn, your life is fucked up.

B (25:13)

Yeah, it's a standard of destruction, to be honest.

A (25:16)

Yes.

B (25:17)

Like, to be honest, it's a standard of. Even if you think about the drug trade is people are. That's detrimental to a lot of people outside of the person who touching the money. Right. The person who touching the money is like, you know, we can use that old excuse all they was gonna get the drugs from anywhere. It's like, oh, you didn't. Or you didn't have to sell drugs. You know what I mean?

A (25:35)

Yeah.

B (25:36)

You know, going, you know, we. We do this thing, like, even how we talk about it, like the language around running through women, it's like, yeah, man, it's like dehumanizing as fuck. But like, let it be our sister, let it be our daughter, let it be our mother. Now it's a problem. And it's like, is somebody's sister, mother, daughter, you know what I mean? And I think it's this, the, like the path of broken people that'll be behind you, you know, like once you finally realize it. For one, it's just like a thing. How do you atone for it? I think for two, it's a thing of how do I stop or at least advise the next young man on a better path. Right. Especially when like 16, 17, 18 year olds that don't really want to listen, who's the person that can cut through? And it got to be somebody besides a rapper or athlete. It got to be somebody that's just a stand up guy. And I think, you know, like you said about the narrative and the idea of manhood, the idea of manhood should just be a stand up dude, regardless of like, occupation, you know, it should be the fruit of his life rather than the materials. Because, you know, as we kind of get older and just a little bit more aware of the world around us, we realize, like, the people with the most materials often is the shittiest people, you know what I mean? Because that's their value system. So their value system is around material. They value materials, they use people. And we know that the opposite is the thing that should be true, bro.

A (27:12)

And man, you know, man, shout out to you. Shouts to Jamila, Shout to like everybody that I don't want to say this woke moving. But like the people that really had the information, like the revolutionists, right? Like even like people like the Russell. I remember, like listening to his older music, getting prepared to do the interview with him, and I'm like, damn. I didn't know he was this revolutionary. I even said, I'm like, yo, I'm listening. The first thing I think of is deontay cow. I'm like, damn, y' all conversation's gonna be crazy. Like, yeah. Cause he on the stage.

B (27:36)

I swear he was there, you know. You know, I did the interview right before y' all live and it's like, bro, because he was crushed with time. We only had an hour, but like 20 minutes in, we really started taking it there and it was like, damn. But it's like, you know, you got to get warmed up. Especially like, we. We ain't had that many phone conversations and things like that. So it's just like the warm up and then kind of like a. A crush for time. But yeah, we definitely gonna have to run that, bro.

A (28:00)

When I say I'm listening to, I didn't. Because if you listen to his new music, you wouldn't think that he was on it. I'm listening to his old me. I'm like, oh, wow, he been doing this.

B (28:08)

Yes.

A (28:08)

So like when I'm like, shout out to y' all. Because I'm just understanding that like, bro, all this shit was designed absolutely, like, literally, like, all this was designed for us. And yeah, I'm a big person. Like, I don't want to be called like a booster, but I can see how I teed the line because I'm a big person. Like, you can get out there and get it on your own, but just doing like more research, I'm understanding that like the whole redlining thing, the whole, like, them putting drugs in our community. Like, bro, this was systemic. It was in there for a reason. They did this to us. You know what I'm trying to say? So it's like, yeah, you can beat the eyes, but it's like, look what we started with. Look what we.

B (28:38)

Yeah, but the eyes shouldn't be that stacked against facts. You know what I mean? Like, that's a crazy amount of eyes to stack on a N. It is. So then it's like, what it does is it creates. It makes the exceptions the rule. So it's like the person that makes it out, Jay Z did it. See, it's like, nigga, dang. First of all, like, if you follow every step that Jay Z, you probably would still. Probably wouldn't even make it facts, because it just. It's like, quite literally, like, he had to be born exactly at the time he was born and do everything he did along the way to be who he is.

A (29:10)

You said it wrong.

B (29:10)

And, like, for me, it's not. Honestly, it's not fun being that. That. That have, like, that vision and. And seeing that system and learning about that system early and being a. That's ruining the good time. That's not fun, bro. Yeah, but it's like, I can't think about anything else. This is a system that we live in. Like, this is so apparent. And, like, for me, my eyes open up in jail. Like, I seen that. Like, it was. I don't know what it was. It was like, one day I was just in jail and I was just like, damn, you know, this shit sucks. And then the next day, I just started paying attention to, like, what I was seeing. And, you know, you just turn. Dudes turn around and they say, prisoner of Douglas County. It's like, damn, yo, how many counties is it? And it's just in this state. How many counties? And think every goddamn county has prisoners.

A (30:03)

We slaves.

B (30:04)

And I was like, and we can't leave this even if we want to. Like, I gotta leave. I gotta count down to the days I got. Like, you decided how long I gotta stay in.

A (30:14)

And it's not a place for. If you want to be real, you look deep into it.

B (30:17)

Rehabilitation. It's not a place where I'm acting this like rats. We four to a room. And like, this studio is way bigger than any jail cell in America.

A (30:25)

So by the time you get out, you in a position to do exactly what you did to get in that again.

B (30:30)

That shit is nasty, bro. Come on, bro. I'M telling you when I realized, like, like I am in a system. Like I'm in a. I'm. I'm actively in this. Like, when I get out, I gotta go to probation. So I'm literally on a. On a ball and chain every time I leave this. Because one mistake, even, one mistake ask you like you had any even getting pulled over for a ticket, they could violate you. And it's like, damn. Oh, I fucked up. I fucked up big time. I had to literally go into isolation. I had to cut all my friends off because I was like, I'm not gonna be able to really live until I get off this probation shit. I stopped smoking weed, I stopped drinking. I did nothing. I just went to work, went home. I was imma do this for a year so I can get off this shit. So at least like the paranoia. Because then I start. Like once I kind of came to, I was like, I'm paranoid. Like now I think every time I leave the house, I'm gonna end up fucking up.

A (31:20)

And it's just like sports, bro. The more you think about an injury, the more you think about something, the closer it is to you.

B (31:25)

Bro. Bro, trust me, baseball is crazy like that. I used to play baseball. If you think about striking out, you're gonna strike out, get out of rhythm. And you just telling yourself, like, damn, I'm out of rhythm. You're gonna be out of rhythm. It's like literally one of the sports is one of those things where you literally just gotta cut your mind off and just instinctually play. Like you gotta go by what you practice, but the world is kind of a little. It's the opposite structure. You really gotta be thinking. And if you're not and you just kind of like going along with the program, you will end up caught up in one of these systems. And I think for me and so many other people being, realizing that young amongst people that just want to be young and live their life. It's. It's a weird space to be in because it's like, don't want you around.

A (32:15)

Yeah.

B (32:16)

It's like, man, it's lame, man. Wanting to talk about the government and we trying to drink and smoke. I'm like, all right, well damn. Like, where do I find friends? And then the friends you do find, they might like even more out there than you, or they not even like you.

A (32:29)

They're not even the places you come

B (32:30)

from, even the people that is like, just as aware, they nothing like you. So it's like a space to be. It's so, bro, I was with a Nick. Like, bro, I was chilling with this one time. We was cool. We talking woke all that. We. We watching Hidden Colors. We talking all this woke black. And buddy was like, yeah, and the moon is a satellite. And I was like, oh, I'm in bad company, brother. Oh, he way more woke than me. I ain't a satellite. Oh, I was like, all right, okay. This. This nigga's way too far for me because I ain't on the moon as a satellite. Vibes like, I, I, you know, I trust science to some degree. I think that bitch out there.

A (33:12)

Yeah.

B (33:13)

But it's like, damn. Like, how do you find a balance? So it's just like, I had to realize, like, okay, there is a way to turn this shit down, but it's also a way to, like, just become more studious and not, like, evangelical about it. Like, I don't have to go every room and tell everybody everything I know. And, like, it's not even about trying to be the smartest nigga in the room. It's almost like you kind of like. It's like a person that just discovered Jesus. Yeah, they gonna want to tell everybody about Jesus. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, anytime you stump, anytime you come into, like, new information, especially something that's like, perspective changing into yourself, mind blowing, you want to tell everybody and you become evangelical about the shit where it's like, okay, I got this. But there's so much more to know. And it's like, bruh, once I kind of, like, was able to calm the fuck down and, like, just let do and just be like, you know what? There ain't nothing for me to say. Like, this ain't my life.

A (34:03)

But then your time was waiting for you, though, because now you can be that way, right?

B (34:06)

You can.

A (34:07)

You can speak this as you speak in it. And now again, we in a new space. Whereas, though 10 years ago, bro, you wear. You think you got it bad today with the. The devil. Why you did that 10 years ago?

B (34:18)

Like, oh, nah. Would have been ready to crucify.

A (34:22)

But that's why I say the world that we're in, people were waiting for it because they felt like, so, yeah, you might have people that criticize you, but it was so many people that was waiting for somebody to say that and speak out and like, yo, that's my guy right there.

B (34:33)

Exactly.

A (34:33)

You get what I'm saying?

B (34:34)

And so even in those moments where it was uncomfortable, I just had to be patient. That's why I Got more studious, though, because I was like, you know what? I'm hitting the same talking points every time. Like, you know, because I'm only talking about this one little sector of knowledge that I discovered. And I was like, I just want to know more. I want to know more than what I know now. But also, it's like, the more you know, the more you realize you don't know. So you just get very, like, you win it. You get addicted to it.

A (34:59)

You win it.

B (34:59)

I'm learning and mashing. Yeah. Like, you know, I think for me, though, more than anything, it was like, all right, outside of, like, all of this information, where does. How does that play to me? How does that play into me being a dad? How does that play into me growing as an individual? And, like, how does this work with, like, trying to maintain jobs and like that? Because you can't be on the clock talking about that shit. Like that should get a little sketchy, too.

A (35:25)

Yeah.

B (35:25)

You know what I mean? You can't be woke at work, get a little sketchy, nigga start hollering at HR about you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you woke at work.

A (35:34)

Now you can't sleep at night, cuz you a new job. Woke at work.

B (35:40)

At work. I lost your job. Oh, redlining don't mean when you ain't got no crib, you ain't got no house, yo.

A (35:49)

Like, it's a place in Georgia right now. I was just going to say it's a place in Georgia right now that you can't have too many people in your home. Right? Like that, like, and that come from redlining and, like, systemic racism. And I just learned that. So you talking about something. You going be talking about you going to have nobody. You have to go with your folk. That going to directly affect you, cuz you can't stay with that. It's too many people

B (36:14)

back in the system. Back in the system. Don't talk about the system.

A (36:19)

How you can't, like, wait. I can't.

B (36:23)

Yo, that is crazy, bro. Yeah, Being woke at work really was like, yo, I just shut the up. Yeah. Because it's like, oh, man. Cuz, it's like, damn, I ain't doing my job no more, bro. I'm just over here in a conspiracy theory rabbit hole with this. We supposed to be working. We over here trading conspiracy theories. That ain't gonna work.

A (36:42)

That's a fact.

B (36:42)

You know what I mean? But I think it's like, anything else, I would tell, like, you know, some of my younger, like, friends or like my little Cousins and shit like that. When they come to me like, yo, it's like, rabbit hole, rabbit hole. It's like, yo, if you're in a rabbit hole, that means somebody been in there before. So you gotta keep going.

A (36:58)

Yeah.

B (36:59)

You'll come out the other side. It's gonna get a little crazy.

A (37:01)

Yeah.

B (37:02)

In the darkness of a rabbit hole, it get a little crazy. Like, like you, you. You kind of. You don't want to lose touch with reality. That's the biggest thing. It's like, because there is. There is the Internet and there is so much information out there and there is so many theories that, like, if you try to follow them all, you're gonna lose your mind a little bit.

A (37:18)

And that's why I'll be telling people all the time, it's like they want to like, argue theories or like, I don't want to say science, but let's say research topics or whatever. And I'm like, yo, it's just as much as you can find a group of people that, that agreed to this or said this is right, you could find her opposite. You get what I'm trying to say? And I'm like, that's why we gotta be careful. Because it studies is studies. Everybody do studies.

B (37:41)

Yeah.

A (37:41)

So there's a study on one thing, best believers, a study on another thing. So you can't look at this one study like, this is facts. You know what I'm trying to say? I actually wanted to ask you a question going back to the spiritual thing. Where do you think that disconnects is or come from? Like through your perspective, like. Because again, I do think this is a new place where. Because I have my questions about religion and things like that. That. But like, you know, I came up like, I don't want to say never question God, because I always question. But it was a certain level how you teeter the line. You know, I don't want to say respect, but it was just how you go about it, right? Yeah, but I see in today's world, it's like so many people were like, man, this ain't. Or it was just to. It was. It was only here to put us in the system. And you know what I'm saying? I understand some of it, but I'm like, I wonder like, where did it go wrong? Whether did this can like happen?

B (38:27)

I think that the information is just like anything. It'll spread like a virus, right? So especially if you have a lot of people that feel compelled to be silent about something, all it take is one person to kind of break, like, just put a little chink in that shit. And, like, once the floodgate open, they open. So. And it also invite in a lot of other discourse. Right. For me, the biggest. The. The two things that I learned along the way is that all, like, what you was just speaking about earlier, it's like, let's just say. Let's just use politics, for example, right? For example, if I'm left leaning and I know all the talking points on the left, I need to also understand how to write things about things, right? So I could stay not a centrist, but, like, so I can get out of an echo chamber. Like, I don't need to be only talking to people I agree with. I don't need to only be getting information from people I agree with. Because then I'm not living in the scope of reality. I'm living over here in my bubble, you know what I'm saying? Which. Which also, like, negates any other truth. So what you could. What you saying over here could have fabric of truth in it, or it could just be completely right. But if I'm not aware of that and I'm only comfortable with the messaging that I've been previously, like, engaging and agreeing with, then it kind of, like, it shortens your scope of intelligence and, like, just reality. Another thing, especially the thing that. That helped me with religion is what can I see in the world? You know what I mean? Like, to talk about the devil. I've never seen the devil. You talk about God. I've never seen God. So, like, I can take the. I can take the physical aspect out of it. Now. In what parts of my life have I seen temptation and fed into the temptation and it ruined things versus when I resist and I get a blessing? So this is where we start dealing with I resisted the devil, you know, or in situations where I feel compelled to maybe speak positively to a person or just out of the blue, give somebody a compliment or things like that. You. You know, this. This really could change the course of this person's day. I was obedient to God like this. How I look at those things that if I can't see it physically, then I have to trust my intuition and the things that's going on inside of me. Right. I remember one time specifically where I knew, like, there is, like, you know, there is some kind of positive negative energy going on. And it is, like, up to you to which one you feed. Right?

A (40:57)

Dharma, almost.

B (40:58)

Yeah. Yes. Yeah, exactly. And it's. For me, it's just things that I could see physically, like, if I want to stay rooted in reality, I was going to make this decision. The place where I was making the decision at was very, like, the location was so specific that everything inside of me was like, I don't need to go do this. And I still did it. And like, the landslide that my life went on after that was like, what the fuck? And I just. I just remember the conversation I had pulling up like, damn, yo, this might be the devil. And because I'm in that. Like, I'm in that binary mindset of God and the devil at this time. And so after I made the bad decision, after I went with the temptation, so to speak, and the things that went. Happened in my life, I was like, damn, y'. All. I just. I got defeated in that moment, you know what I mean? And it's not a thing that I couldn't come out of, but I just always try to stay rooted to the. What's relevant and what I can see. Right? Like, it doesn't necessarily have to be about, like, God. I. I do do sincerely believe, like, in a divine energy and, like, something. Some orchestrating something. Something, you know what I mean? Like, because it's encoded in nature, too. Like, you know, we're not communicating with nature vocally, but we are, like, constantly in communication with everything around us. And, like, there's a through line there. So, like, I. I believe in divinity. You know what I mean? Whatever you want to call it is what you want to call it. Like, that's not for me. And how. Whatever, you know, that we humans, like, that's a natural thing for us to put things in boxes so we can understand it better. We got to put labels on things so we can understand it better. We do that with people. We do that with, you know, how we respect people based on their job title and, like, that. It's just, you know, that's. That's the way that we, like, kind of compartmentalize information. But for me, it's like, with something that divine, I'm not trying to put it in a box. You know what I mean? I'm not trying to, like, I'm not trying to, like, relegate it to my scope of understanding. I know I don't get everything. So when it comes to, like, Christianity and religion, like, I can see the manipulation that it played into the black community. I can't go back. And, like, there are statements, there is literature behind how they used it to manipulate. And then the evidence of the manipulation is very present when people get mad at me, like, I'll troll you a little bit because I'm still a funny. Like, to me, that was hilarious. But I think the statement I was making is like, y' all notice I got on the Trump shoot, though, right? So y' all calling me somebody that care about this community, somebody that actively is always, like, not only advocating for us, like, in spaces where we could do better, but also, like, advocating for us, like, to change narratives, to change narratives from negative to positive. Always, like, advocating for our young men, which seems to be the biggest problem in our community, right? Is what are our young men going to do, right? And because I said something about this, like, specific type of. You don't agree with. Now I'm a devil because I said, have reverence for your ancestors. Okay, I'm gonna show you a devil, but I'm gonna put on this mask. So you focus on the mask and not the suit. Because I know that's what you gonna focus on. Because if there's anybody that's a devil is this nigga. Look what he doing to the country. Look what he doing to your everyday life, how you live life. But I. I just. I just find it funny with black people how cool we are to demonize one another when we have not even

A (44:37)

take the chance to just understand.

B (44:38)

Yeah, we got real present. Demons have been. You know what I mean? But I. I try not to take it too personal either. That situation specifically is just, like, something I've been so aware of for so long. It was just like, you know, I'm gonna just fuck with y'. All.

A (44:53)

Y'. All.

B (44:53)

Cause y' all with me. And I can't even enjoy tick tock because of you right now. I want to scroll my phone and every third video about me because of you. You know what I mean? Like, damn, y' all up my social media experience, so I'm gonna go with you.

A (45:07)

That's real, right? That's. It's crazy because, like, again, I just. I just admire the space that we in. I'm like, man. Because I remember asking, like, Alex, like, what you think about this? He's like, I don't know. And I remember saying, like, man, this is like, this is so interesting that we're in this space. This. That this can happen. And it's like, I don't know again, like, my major was sociality, so I'm big at studying people and things. And, like, I don't. I don't really. Like, I don't have a real opinion, but I'm just like, man, I feel exactly what he's saying. But in my. In my heart, it's like, it's hard for me to fully accept it because I just know, like, I just can't wear a devil. You know what I'm saying?

B (45:43)

Yeah. I don't have no attachment.

A (45:45)

Yeah, but what you're saying is right. And it's like.

B (45:47)

Like, that's why I'm.

A (45:48)

That's why I asked him. Cause it's like, bro, physical thing.

B (45:51)

Like, if you can see past the physical thing, because that's another thing, too. That episode specifically, I know, was one of my most potent on, like, just social issues. And Big Cat was even like, yeah, but you want to wear that. Like, because the shit you saying is so real. I don't want people to get lost in the message. And I said, fuck that. Like, they gonna have to.

A (46:12)

Because the people that hear it, they

B (46:13)

gonna have to be able to put down the physical thing, because it's another thing too oftentimes we pay too much attention to who messages is coming from. That's how niggas get duped. You done build so much trust up in this figure that when they start fucking you over, you ain't even aware of it because you care more about, you know, this goes to church. You see what I'm saying, though? So it all ties back. Like, you done fell in love with the pastor and not the message. And now when the pastor start doing shady and grimy shit, you can't even see it. You can't see it.

A (46:47)

Touche.

B (46:48)

Because then I made the. They don't made the man divine. You know what I'm saying? And, like, you know, like, the divinity in men is fickle. You know, you'll have spats of it, but it's not like. It's like everything else. We. We are temporary in our aspects. Right? You know, even our lives. Our lives are temporary.

A (47:08)

Emotions are temporary.

B (47:09)

Everything. Everything just our existence here in general is temporary, right?

A (47:12)

Yes.

B (47:12)

Like it. In the. In the. In the span of human history, Like. Like, if you just looked at, like, we not considered in that. You dig what I'm saying? You go back in human history, like, if you put it on a timeline, we may be a millisecond. You dig what I'm saying? So the. Really, like, taking control and taking charge of, like, what I deem as important, like, the things that intuitively I just feel, like, drawn to talk about, to speak on on, to learn about, to share, you know, with people. Because the podcast space can get a little vulnerable, too. Can get a little Personal.

A (47:50)

Yeah.

B (47:51)

And you kind of got to be confident in your experiences and who you are to be able to share that way.

A (47:55)

And then people out here, you know, I don't be having all, like, vocabulary, so sometimes I go laugh and just like, you know, you good, but people out here is stupid.

B (48:04)

You know, I feel like. Long story short, you know, I feel like.

A (48:08)

Like to. To understand a person if you agree or not. Like, I feel like that's intelligent. To look at something, to not agree and to just make your own assessment of it is. Yeah, again, like I said, so it's like, stupid. So it's like, yo, I just feel like, bro, if you're an intelligent person, you can look at something or someone, you can hear what they saying. If you agree or not disagree, you don't have to belittle that person. But break that. It's like, bro, I just feel like that's not a smart thing to do. Like. Like. And if you do that, I automatically

B (48:37)

know, like, when I check out a conversation, why I check out. I know if. If this is. If you. You. If you utilizing. Let's just say you have a fabric of truth to what you saying, but you're using that fabric to weave in all your personal n. I'm cool. We out. We out now. We in cult world. You know what I'm saying? But I also have this understanding, like, just from life and lived experience. I can learn from anybody. Anybody, everybody has something that I can learn from. Whether. Whether you teaching me how to be or how not to be.

A (49:13)

And even. Even if I can't, right? How you treat everybody is how is how I know if you're a good person or not. Because how you treat the janitor, the bum on the street, whoever. If you treat them differently than you treat the nigga with a bunch of money, then I can't trust you.

B (49:28)

Oh, yeah, bruh, if you kissing ass for a nigga that got money, I'm not even trying to be around. I pay attention. Like, you know, really, when we go out to eat, you know what I'm saying? Like, business dinners are important because how people treat service staff. Yeah, that's a big one. I'm never. Yo, I would leave. I will propose to a woman, go to dinner, call off the wedding if you shitty to wait staff. I used to be waitstaff, bro. So what that mean?

A (49:58)

It just. And it show. And I gotta personally apologize to Atlanta. Cause I always say it's an Atlanta thing. It's not. Not. Once you get like some status in the industry, it's there a lot, right? So it's like, bro, you. You'll show me love because I got some motion, but what about the next to me? But you want to act funny to him because you think.

B (50:16)

You don't know what he could be, though. That's a crazier thing, you weirdo.

A (50:20)

I don't understand it, bro.

B (50:22)

You know what? I've learned the most valuable lesson I learned and some of the most important people don't have a following.

A (50:29)

Don't have a follow. Don't have that bus down on. Because the whole time that bus down.

B (50:33)

That's important. People don't exist on social media. It's one of the most important things that I've learned. It's people that I met that are like, really moving and shaking. No Instagram, no TikTok, no nothing. No jewelry.

A (50:47)

And it's like the. The steakhouse chilling at the bar.

B (50:51)

It's damn near. It's damn near a goal.

A (50:55)

Yeah.

B (50:56)

For me, how do I become. Oh, how do I. How do I, like, attain this level of not only, like, power, but, like wealth without being noticed?

A (51:05)

You know what it is? I think it's confidence. You know, you would work, right?

B (51:09)

But it's roles, though. Like, you know, they have a. You know, how did they get this job? How did they get this fact? You dig what I'm saying? It's like, I think part of it

A (51:17)

is confidence, too, because once you get it, we, again, I be ignorant. I don't have all the vocabulary. We niggas at the end of the day too, right?

B (51:24)

No real rapper.

A (51:25)

So it's like, all right. I'll never forget when I was working like a 9 to 5, like one of them hard 9 to 5. I think I was working at the airport, paving the. The. The airport or some like that. The pathway or some shit, right? I never forget. Like, I be coming home like, man, I'm tired of this tears in my eyes right on payday I'm bumping R B with the windows down Care what nobody think. Cause I'm. I got that money. That's why I said so. Like, sometimes it be like, what give us confidence. And I feel like those people, they. They had a space in their life that they're not seeking out validation for nobody. So I don't need the chain. All the chain is. All the watch is, is for validation for my people that know that I got it.

B (52:03)

Yeah, it's a symbolism, right? It send out a symbol to the world around you. We're very visual as humans. Like, we you know, especially men. Like, men, a lot of our attraction, both, like, emotional and sexual, is through physical. Like, through things we can see physically. So niggas treat niggas better that look like they got money. A nigga treat them 10 times better than any woman would. Cause that ain't the way that women. Like. That ain't the thing for them. Like, you know, know, it's like some little literature and I read. I don't know if it's 100 facts, but, man, they backed it up with, like, mad. But, like, the way that men get turned on by the physical world is like a completely different thing. That's why it's, like, get duped by like, that, bro.

A (52:49)

Go there. I'm with you, bro. Because even. Even if you don't have the. The. The. The knowledge, like you say, right? You can see it.

B (52:56)

You can see it, bro.

A (52:58)

Are so fit, cool. Down to your bitch. You got the girl. Because I was one of them before, so I don't even wanna. I'm not even about to try to point fingers. I was one of them. And I had to look at myself like, bro, nigga, what are you doing this for? Is this for you or for everybody else?

B (53:12)

It's odd, bro.

A (53:12)

Down to your chick is the chick that everybody want. Cause that shows that I'm the man.

B (53:17)

Yeah, that's the shit. You don't even like her.

A (53:19)

For real. The watch, the chain, everything you got, everything about you is for another person. And if you wanna go deeper, it's for another nigga. What type of time you on? So, like, that's why I said, even. I asked myself like, yo, do we gotta go through all this to get here?

B (53:31)

Here?

A (53:31)

Because I don't want her to go through. All right? If I had a son, bro, I want my son to go through all that. Because I'm gonna look at him like, bro, what you doing it for? Like, what you doing it for? Like, we ain't no man time. That ain't man time. We walk around with these egos and, like, this and all these emotions and. And that's why we want to fight. And that's why I talked to the old me, bro, you fighting. You ain't fighting for yourself. You ain't really fighting to protect yourself. You fight to prove that you ain't. No. Now you got to prove something to somebody else. That mean you doing it for somebody else. So they control your life.

B (53:56)

Like, what are you doing, right?

A (53:58)

You talk about being a man. A man is. Is. Is. Is taking on responsibility, man. Is like, you know, like a man of character, of value. A real value man. We talk about that. A real value man is somebody, like, that's gonna keep his word, you know what I'm saying? That's somebody that can. That can. That can stand up straight under pressure. That's not gonna fold. You know what I'm saying? Like, that can give directions, that can make a decision and live with it. We talking about everything else.

B (54:18)

Admit when you wrong, apologize.

A (54:20)

Apologize.

B (54:22)

Here's the thing, right?

A (54:23)

Right.

B (54:24)

The book that I'm referring to is called A Billion Wicked Thoughts. And a lot of it, it was what talked about how men like this, the. How men re. React to physical things and how it stimulates us. Like what? Not only sexual stimulants, but just like. Just a. Just. It's what gets our attention quick. Yeah, we perk up on mostly physical things, right? So. So the assumption if I see you with a watch is that you got money, right? The assumption, if I see you in a car, you know, you know, a Beamer, a Mercedes range, whatever. Oh, he got money. If I. If I see you when you with a girl and she attractive, if I'm attracted to her, he the man. You know what I mean? And so, like. But then also, it's like, that's also how you could easily fool men. Come on, now, right? Because I can rent this watch, yo. I could rent everything, nigga.

A (55:21)

I could get a home girl.

B (55:22)

She could be an escort.

A (55:24)

Come on.

B (55:24)

This is real.

A (55:25)

Come on.

B (55:25)

You know what I'm saying? But this is also like a Rolex.

A (55:29)

The conversation started. What are we talking about?

B (55:31)

What are you talking about? Like, what conversation we gonna have? Here's the thing. And I wouldn't know because I never had a Rolex. So I don't know what conversations. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Maybe you gotta get a Rolex where. You know, what conversations that started. But I. I think I. But I think the. The most evident part about this, the most. The most apparent thing that we can draw it to is only fans, right? They'll say, oh, this girl just turned 18. Or this girl started OnlyFans and she made $1.2 million in a week. And it's like, because of how stimulated y' all are by her physically, y' all literally made her rich. And. And in the same breath, you hate later. So it's weird, right? It's odd because it's like the same thing that you, like, lust after you hate. You know what I mean? It's like, oh, all These bitches just want to do is show their ass, show they titties. But it's like, y' all also are like literally incentivizing the behavior. So if you're going to incentivize the behavior, then you can't critique it. If, if you, if you aren't the type of person that's affected by it and you aren't like, you don't feed into those physical things in the way that you see other men do, you also won't critique it because you above it. It's like, yeah, I'm not turned on by that physically, but I also understand why she do it.

A (56:52)

Exactly.

B (56:52)

You know what I mean? And I ain't tripping because if the most ignorant nigga, what's the first thing niggas say? Like, oh, if I was a girl, I'd be woo do, whoo, whoop. I'd do this, I'd do that. Because you already understand how to trick niggas. You trick niggas with the physical. So this is how, like, if I went, if, if I, if I run this block and it's a 14, 15, 16 year old and I want them to work for me, I can't pull up in a bucket and be like, yeah, you work this corner for me. Everybody's bum ass nigga, bum ass car. I'm working for this. But if I pull up and I look like the money, of course, because then it's like, oh, if I work for him, I can get what he got. And what they say, and that's how the streets rule.

A (57:29)

And they say women are emotional. Emotional?

B (57:32)

No, I mean it's very emotional. That's what I'm saying.

A (57:35)

And they say woman is emotional. That's a lot of emotion.

B (57:37)

I think by default because, because of the rhetoric around manhood and you know, you know, stop acting like a. Or woody, woo, woo. All these different things, it kind of relegate the only emotions that we are comfortable with expressing, for one, and the main one being anger, to the point where we express anger so much that we don't even consider it emotions.

A (57:59)

And that's why I'm saying that's why it gets killed. Because we don't wear. We, we aren't, we weren't in a space to be able to express it. So when it comes out, it comes out with no type of structure at all. You know what I'm saying? So like, bro, I'm, I'm listening to you. I'm like, man, you spot on with that, bro.

B (58:14)

That is, I I was a video. I was watching you and Jamila's interview about breaking cycles of abuse. And that video that y' all showed of that dude, like, harming his child. Child, it's like, that made me disgusted, bro.

A (58:29)

Yeah, bro.

B (58:31)

And of course, as a father, there's no saving him, right? But the thing that I think about is how does that child ever recover from that level of trauma? And I know me and you don't have the answers to that specifically, but what are some things that you feel like you dealt with in your youth? Youth that quote, unquote traumatized you, that plagued you until you was able. And not only plagued you and your decision making, but how were you able to overcome it? Because I know you speak to like the fighting thing and like, trying to prove you're not a pussy. But like, that has to stem out of something. Yeah, right, bro.

A (59:10)

I think the fighting thing that got me in a lot of trouble, it was. It's just discipline and like, self control. Like, even when it comes down to woman, right? Like, I never forget when I was a kid, I think I don't wanna say we all, but I heard your story and like, I definitely could relate to that. Cause I remember my first time having sex. I think I was 12. It was my. My babysitter. And I never forget asking myself, like, oh my. Like, what's all that hair? You know what I'm saying? Like, so it's like. But I wouldn't. I'm gonna be honest in this, right? Even to this day, I never really looked at as. That as sexual assault. Even though I understand now, right? It was something that I wanted even though I was 12. It shouldn't have happened. That was something I wanted. But I think I was introduced to sex really early. Like, my mom's was like, you know, she was the neighborhood hood lady. I don't even know, I'm saying. So, like, even we had drug dealers renting out my room to have sex. Like, I was introduced to sex early. So I got into it early. And like, even to now, it's like, bro, it's hard to be intimate. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's why I be having to talk these conversations with young men. Cause like, I see how that fucked me up. And if you not. If you don't open your eyes, you think you all right. Like, yeah, I'm just not into that shit. Nah, N. You don't know how to do. Do it. Like, that's why you ain't into it. So, like, just being Introduced to sex early, the fighting, you know, it probably was a lot, bro. I just wasn't able to decode it. And I'm still learning through to this day. Right. I just think the fighting, again, if you change your mind, you change your life. So I don't think the fighting is wrong. It's just what you fighting for. Right? And I think in the hood, like, I was taught to, to protect myself, but I wasn't, I wasn't taught to have discernment of winning, when not to have to protect myself, or when to feel like you had to protect yourself. So now I'm thinking anything that threatened my space, then I got to protect myself. And that's not necessarily true, right? So yeah, bro, I mean, it was a lot of things that, that me up, like, but at the same time, that's why I sound like I don't want to look like a bootstrapper. But like, a lot of things I learned from, I was, I was fortunate, bro. Like, God is good to me because it was, I could have, I'm not My friends, a lot of my friends went the other route. Like, my moms did drugs since the beginning of my memory. I know my moms to do drugs, but that is what helped me get out the hood. That's.

B (61:14)

I.

A (61:14)

What, what, that's what helped me build discipline. Because she was super honest with me. She showed me that, like, this is my life. And I Never forget at 12, I'm like, man, I never want to do this. I'm never going to up my life like this. So yeah, it was other things that me, the fighting and the girls and like that. But like, I, I. It's hard to answer that because a lot of the things that was bad turned out to be great for me, bro.

B (61:35)

Right.

A (61:35)

You know what I'm saying? Like, even when I think about the kids, like my mom's, you know, she put her hands on me. But I do think that that, and I'm in a fraternity as well. I know your audience probably have a couple feelings about that, but I do think that it should be a balance of discipline, but also just we gotta balance the discipline how we do it, right? Because physical abuse isn't good and we, and we learning that. But when I came up, I felt that, well, I learned that that helped me stay intact a lot of times. Right? But it's a form of control. And it's like when you think of being a parent, you think of having control of your kids and then you learn that like, like, nah, we got to do this a different way. So it's hard to answer that because a lot of the things I did think was good for me, bro. Honestly.

B (62:16)

Well, I think I. I think about this a lot. Right. I think that there's a. We haven't seen the results of what doing it another way is. Right. Right. We only know ourselves as adults, so we haven't seen ourselves raise children a different way. And what the results of that is in adulthood.

A (62:37)

That's a great.

B (62:37)

So that's. That is also the thing is, like, we made the best out of it, out of what we were given. And. And I think that that is, like, honorable, like, to even recognize these things in a sense of, like, you, like what you said, what was the thing you said? If you change your mind, you change your life. Exactly. So, like, for me, a lot of things. For me, it was always trying to find a joke and shit, not taking shit seriously. But also because I realized how uncomfortable I was in serious situations. Like how like me, I'm the type of nigga, like, if we go to a hospital and somebody's sick, I'm trying to get up out of there. Like, I don't want to sit around somebody when they sick. I don't want to sit around somebody that's going to die. So it's like, even with my mom, my mom lost her vision. I didn't know how to be around her without, like, fucking with her, like, trying to make her laugh or, like, just bring like, a situation because, like, the reality of it is so sad. I didn't want to sit in any discomfort. So anytime I felt uncomfortable, it's like, we finna make a joke about this. And yeah, like, that make you a funny nigga over time, but it also make you a person that don't know how to read the fucking room. So I would joke at the wrong times about shit or I just wouldn't take things. I took nothing seriously. And you have to take things serious in life. So it also. But it don't manifest until it's your time, right? So when I felt like people wasn't taking me seriously, that's when I was like, oh, nah, I gotta change. Everything ain't a fucking joke cause you gonna take me seriously. And it's like, it sucks that it has to become personal for you to learn that lesson, but that is kind of what it is sometimes, like your ability to become more disciplined because you see how it's affecting you personally. And I think that, of course that's a wise thing, right? But it's also like more wise. The truer wisdom is being able to see somebody else go through it and being like, okay, I know what not to do. That's why I tell people all the time. Like when I was growing up, I had a lot of examples of what I didn't want to be. So. But that left me with like in a weird space because it's like, well, I don't know what to look to now. Now I got all this, these ideas of what I think I'm supposed to be and you know, like, none of that was really panning out for me. The sexual trauma thing was one of those things that like I was really able to get over once I said something about it. But I think I also had to like, overcome my own fears of that shit and like realize like, not, not what happened to me was normal. But sex is normal.

A (65:19)

So.

B (65:20)

I used to be so scared to have sex because I was like, yo, this shit ain't like, something about this shit is just weird and freaky to me. But like I actually met a girl like when I was like 15 that I really liked. She really liked me. And we just over, over camp. But I told her like, this is my hold up. That's why I keep putting this shit off because this happened to me. And she was like, okay, like walk you through it type shit, like, we're gonna be good. And she was like, this is okay. Like it's okay type shit. Like normalizing it. Not what happened to me being normal, but the actual, you know what I'm saying, on a consensual level. Right. So I think it does make you hyper vigilant as a parent. Like I don't trust nobody around my fucking children.

A (66:02)

Yeah,

B (66:06)

but that's something I gotta deal with. Right? But I feel like it's protecting my children too. They don't know. That's why I'm like this. That like, ain't no spending the night at nobody house. No. Ain't nobody watching you.

A (66:16)

Yeah.

B (66:17)

You know what I'm saying? Like, you know what I'm saying? Nobody watching. No, nobody watching nothing. You know what I'm saying? You ain't watching nothing. I'm with you, boy. You know what I mean? And you know, and like, I think the bigger thing is that, you know, no real though. No cap, nobody watching nothing. I got a two year old. I know how frustrating it is for

A (66:41)

me, me to have my kids. So imagine somebody else that don't have the emotional connect. Man, go to hell. Whatever that look like.

B (66:50)

You gonna see the end of the Gris and Ass podcast, bro. Somebody with my children, bro. You gonna be live recording that bitch from a cell.

A (66:58)

I just tweeted that, bro. I said, God, I pray I never have to see the day that I have to prove to myself how much I love my kid.

B (67:04)

Yeah, Yeah.

A (67:05)

I don't want to see that day, bro.

B (67:06)

Boy, Boy. I mean, I mean, I mean, I'm moving mountains, baby. Like, that is just real. I think sometimes fear is extremely, like, beneficial. Having a healthy fear of certain. It just keep you vigilant. I mean, vigilance is like, necessary. You know what I mean? Hyper vigilance is where I get a little. I don't want. So I, I try my hardest not to be a helicopter dad, right? Like, like, you know, I, I, I, I try to say as many yeses as I say nos. But it took me a while because when my kids was young, it was like, no.

A (67:47)

How old is your kids?

B (67:48)

14, 12 and 8. So when they was younger, it's like, no. Everything was no. Can I. No. Can I go over? No, you ain't leaving the house, nigga. You in this bitch. Cause at least here I can see you. And I know, like, it's just like a thing that I had to, like, learn how to. Okay, like, they experience is not my experience, right? But you know, that's just shit you learn over time. It's like how to let go of things, even for you. Like, how to walk away from things. That take more strength than engaging in

A (68:21)

a fight people do not understand, bro. I remember one time I was in a club, I was about to get into a fight with this DJ in D.C. and I never forget, like, I already got fired. And I like. And I was just at my wits end. I never forget going out to my car crying, bro. Cause I walked away. I'm like, why does this hurt so bad? Something gotta be wrong that it shouldn't hurt this bad to walk away from a fight, bro, Like. Cause I don't even think it was in the DJ booth, so it wasn't a lot of people that saw it. It's just I felt like he played with me. He ain't really. He ain't put his hands, like, he ain't like, do nothing crazy. I just ain't like how he played with me. And I'm like, why does walking away hurt so bad? So like you said, it takes way more strength to walk away than it does to punch somebody or something.

B (69:04)

Hell, yeah, it takes more strength. Listen, the biggest fear that I had around Fighting. When I was younger, like, the thing that I had to overcome, I think it was like, third, fourth grade, was like, I always was just scared to lose because I was scared, like, if I lose a fight, my friends aren't gonna be friends with me no more. It's just real. It's just embarrassing. And this nigga just kind of put me in a position, like, n made me an offer I couldn't refuse. You either gonna look like a bitch in front of everybody, or you gonna fight me. And so I fucked the nigga. And it's like. It's one of the things, like a kid fight. Like, he threw me on the ground. I got up, pushed him, punched him. He punched me. It was like, bullshit, whatever. And I was so embarrassed when he threw me on the ground that I was like, I gotta fight this nigga. And then I was like, man, I ain't gonna have no friends. All my friends was like, yo, that was crazy, nigga. Like, what? But. And I never, like, bought into the reward system of fighting like that. I just was like, this is one of those things, like, if it go down, it's going down. You know what I'm saying? But. But I was always like, man, my sister used to fight all the time, so I was just always around that shit. It was just like, I kind of had situations, like, would come up where it was like, I play too much. So of course, nigga want to fight you for playing too much. You joke too much. But I'm be like, really over some jokes, nigga. Like, I kind of make. I make a nigga feel bad for wanting to fight me. Like, you want to fight. But I remember the first fight I ever, like, really lost, for one. I feel like I earned that bitch. Like, I ain't had no business with this man. Girl behind his back caught me slipping. I hit that flow. I was like, damn, you really got me. Yeah, I got me.

A (70:44)

I got up a couple times. I know. And I'm listening to you.

B (70:46)

I wanted to call that and tell him, like, I mean, you know, all due respect, you probably in the wrong profession. You probably need to get in that octagon. My. The way you drop me, son, that's octagon work. Gave me quick octagon work real quick.

A (71:01)

I'm listening to you. And it's crazy because, like, man, fighting for me, it came from home, bro. I'll never forget my first fight. I actually ran from somebody. I was super young. Like, really young, bro. I had to be like, 9, 10. I ran from somebody and I never forget putting the key into the door. I unlocked the door and I shut the door without taking the key out the door. And the first thought that came to mind, not that he's gonna come back to my house. Oh, my door. My mom's gonna whoop my ass. Ass. So I never forget. Like, I ended up chasing this down, whooping his ass. Cause I'm so scared my mom's gonna whip my ass. And I never forget, like, my. My early childhood, like, my. My mother. So I had a cousin versus God rest his soul, he was really a street. Like, we have these fake street. And I don't want to promote that to nobody but, like, street niggas.

B (71:42)

There's a distinction, though.

A (71:43)

Yeah, street don't give a. About life. Like, y' all ain't street. You got too much of a conscience.

B (71:47)

Yeah. And that's my. That's my issue with the crash out thing. Thing. It's like, bro, y' all don't know real crash outs. You're not crash houses are dead. Or.

A (71:54)

And I don't wanna.

B (71:55)

In a real way, Like, I'm not. It's not to promote it.

A (71:57)

Yes.

B (71:58)

It's just like, let's not take the context out of it. These don't think about the consequences.

A (72:02)

My point. So my cousin was a crash out. Like, he used to whoop niggas ass with anything, literally. And I never forget. Like, I was a fair fighter. And like, this is young, and it's crazy. I'm listening to him, like, damn, this is what it stems from. Like, and I love my moms, don't get me wrong. But, like, I never forget. Like, I used to fight niggas. Nice to want to be fair. And she used to, like, not make funny. She used to criticize me. Like, you need to be more like your cousin. You know what I'm saying? I never forget at an early age. So, like, since then, until I got older and grown, almost, like, I just would fight, bro. And it wasn't. I got put out of school for hitting somebody with a stanchion. Like, I didn't. Yeah, it's not even funny. Like, I'm listening to him. Like, for me, it was the opposite. Like, I was on go and I didn't want to. It wasn't like, I was a bully, but I would fight the bully. I would fight everybody, bro. It was bad, bro. It was so bad. I'm like, damn, man. That shit is not cool, bro.

B (72:49)

Yeah, the household really do have a. I mean, that's your mold. That's how you mold it, you know, that's your nurturing. I think nature versus nurture is like a very interesting phenomenon to me because of, you know, it's just. You see it in people, you know, like the things that I see in my kids that I know I haven't taught them to be, they just are, you know what I mean? Like, the nature verse, nurturing thing is just like. It's a very. It's like, it's fascinating. It's fascinating because it's like. And when in one instance, it may go directly against your nature, but how you raise could like, you know what? I got to be on that. You know what I mean? And then also, like, once that shit become natural to you, it's like, how do I work my way out of it?

A (73:40)

And then your environment too, bro, again,

B (73:42)

about the environment is crazy. You grew up in Baltimore.

A (73:44)

It's like that reward system, right? Understand it, right? Even down to, like, we see this, I joke about it, but this idea of new New, right? Like, we're making fun of new new from the TI movie, right? And it's like now every girl who came up in a nice neighborhood or a nice house, and like, we call her New New, and it's like, we don't know what that does to her. Now she wants to. To act like she's from somewhere she's not, right? And it's like, bro, nah, you accepting where you are and understanding that is. It's duality, the human beings makes you more than the person that's acting like they're not from there, right? The confidence, and I love that, right? But it's like, even they. It's like they did the demonize or they. They downplay us for being educated, right? They make fun of us for being smart, for articulating their words, for doing these things. And now it's like, I gotta act like something that I'm really not. I want to embrace this nerd in me. I want. I want to show you that I'm smarter than all of the people around me. But I can't, because the moment I do it, they'd be like, this nigga think he shining star, or this nigga this and that. And it's like, damn, I don't even want to do that.

B (74:40)

But I think. I think. I think ghetto being a standard for blackness is just an odd thing, right? I think it's reinforced by a lot of different things. Like you said reward system, but I think the ultimate reward system is it being projected onto a screen, right? If We. Because every rapper. Just think about the idea of CB4, right? Think about the idea of that movie is that this is a dude that grew up in a nice house in a nice neighborhood with great parents. And the only way for him to be successful as a black entertainer is to be the worst version of black people stupid. So the reward system for black people, especially late 80s, early 90s, is be the worst version of yourself and you'll gain all this material wealth. But what does that project onto a child? What does that project to a boy that wants to embrace his intelligence, but he's shunned and outcasted because of this? He gotta make a decision. Do I stay outcasted and ostracized until I can at least get into an environment like somewhere like college that this will be harnessed and embraced race, or do I conform to the around me? You know what I mean? And unfortunately, a lot of people conform to the things around them because not only the reward system on tv, but that's projected into the community. And now this becomes our reward system. So now if you are quick to fight, it's like he that if you. If you and think of running through

A (76:08)

women or, oh, he that he a man.

B (76:11)

Even. Even. Even the. Like. Even the terminology, like, even how we use, even how we talk about sex, beat the pussy up. Like it's violent. You know what I mean? And, you know, but these things are rewarded. And it's projected onto a screen back to us, and it becomes a part of our value and our reward system. And until we, like, really call out

A (76:31)

or until it's not. Because think about it, bro. Again, I saw today's time, right? You get rewarded for so many things, and then tomorrow hits, so to say, and it's like niggas calling you out for that word.

B (76:46)

And. Which is a beautiful thing, right, to see how the pendulum has swung. Because I think right now in the black community, to be honest, I think intelligence, I think patience, I think the thing like, you know, not being overly materialistic and hyper capitalistic, those things are gonna start to become more valued. I'm seeing it honestly, like, I wouldn't be where I am if those things weren't value.

A (77:07)

And that's why I said, I love it, bro. Cause we seeing it, right?

B (77:09)

Like we are. And.

A (77:11)

And it's like, you just think about it, bro. You. You the man. You getting all these women. And then now it. It even in the music. That's how we get rape culture, right? And it's like, we. We're. We're all walking in this rape culture thing thinking it's okay and it's not.

B (77:25)

And, and it, it's also back to that idea of like the reward system. It's like it rewards us for the things that are like, aren't natural to I want to love on a woman. I want to be in love. I want to be lovey dovey. I want to be all these things. But niggas tell you that shit lame. So then it's like you end up being angry at women about that. You like, it's like you end up hating women because you like them. So then that turns into, if you reject me, I gotta harm you because you embarrass me or whatever fucking thing you got going on in your head. Entitlement or, you know, you try to approach a girl on some smooth shit in front of your boy and she'd be like, no, I'm cool, like I got a man or whatever. Just that little rejection. And because you in front of niggas, like, well, you then. Or you ugly anyway, it's like, oh, she ugly.

A (78:11)

Yeah, bro, somebody.

B (78:13)

You just feel embarrassed and. But it becomes, it becomes like a violent thing because now it's the opposite end of the reward system. It's the embarrassment.

A (78:22)

Somebody asked me, somebody asked me the other day in a podcast, like, do you think you can get every girl in the world? And I said no.

B (78:27)

Hell no.

A (78:29)

To think I can get every girl in the world is gotta be some type of arrogant, idiotic thought in my mind because that shows that, that, that

B (78:36)

thing overly entitled, that shows me that

A (78:38)

I think I'm everybody type. Even if I was the most successful

B (78:42)

man in the world, it's still women

A (78:43)

that are still somebody that's not gonna like me.

B (78:45)

I remember it was a. I forget what, what time period this was. I was just young on social media and I was flirting with this girl. Like we was flirting, like constantly. And then like one day she had made a. And this. I'm gonna tell you how OG this shit is. Facebook. Like this one, I'm on Facebook. Heavy. And like she had called out her type. And her type, she was like, I like tall, dark skinned niggas. I was like, damn, bitch, total opposite of me. Average height, light skinned nigga. Cheat. Jesus Christ. You just trying to tell me you don't like me. And so, you know, I stopped.

A (79:27)

I like tall, dark with shortcut, with the wig.

B (79:29)

You know what I'm saying? Like, I was like, God damn, this Is this a subliminal? You want me to leave alone and so like I follow your ass right now. So I fell back and. And I was, and I wasn't salty. I was like, oh, oh, I'm not that type of. She like. And she was like, she's like, damn. You don't like, you don't respond back. You don't say that. I was like, I'm not your type. I was like, and that's okay. And then she was like, well, yeah, but I like, I. With you, it's like, even if I have like this type. And I say, yeah, but you with me, but what if your type come holler at you? I was like, that's the. I know I can't get involved in that. That's gonna break my heart. Now every tall, dark skinned come around be like, I'm killing something. Get this bitch ass nigga away from her. You know what I'm saying? But it's like, that's an awareness I had about myself very young because I was always like, people always make comments about light skin, good hair, light skin, good hair. And it's like, yo, that's a weird thing. But it's like these art types and shit like that. So I was always cool. Like if I'm not somebody type or I'm not the person they go for, like, that's okay. That is not personal to me because it's also shit I go for out here and I don't want you to be offended if you ain't it. You know what I mean? Yeah.

A (80:39)

And it says more.

B (80:40)

I don't got specific types like that. Like to the.

A (80:43)

I think it says more about your confidence too. To understand that you're not somebody type and still walk. To be just as confident hearing a no than you would as a yes.

B (80:51)

Yeah. I mean it is what it is. Like, you know, like I, you know, you know, I'm fortunate. Fortunate. You know, I've never had like them issues with women with not like being able to be able to court women or.

A (81:03)

I think that's. That plays into part too. We, we have, we are fortunate when you are like, you know, a handsome whatever man.

B (81:11)

Handsome. You're funny, you have a good conversation. It's not that like dealing with women has not been like a struggle for me. Yes. Whereas like somebody who's like an incel. You know what I mean? Like I, you know, but that's still not like, that's still not like something to hate women about. Nigga, that's something work on yourself. Like I don't, I don't want to mark it up to something that easy, that's just red pill. That's how niggas get red pill. That's. But I just think that I don't understand what's on the other side of it, so I can't advise it, you know what I mean? I just know, like, it's okay for somebody not to be attracted to you. It's not like a personal attack, nigga. It's just like that. You know that ain't it?

A (81:47)

A lot of niggas hate women because they hate their mother and they don't know how to say it.

B (81:52)

To be honest, bro, I love my mama.

A (81:54)

Yeah. But a lot of niggas, it's like, I've seen this argument somewhere. Like, there's a lot of women out there that say they want to be a mother but don't want to take the front owner responsibility. Right. It's. I think about the same with the men, right? There's a lot of men out there that, that know they should love their mother, but they really don't and they don't know how to express that. So now whenever you, like, see a woman that even resembles your mom's in the way she accent again, I don't never try to point fingers because I've seen it. I mean, I had to control it too. But it's like, yo, my mom's. My mom's treated me like that, so I'm not gonna with you, right? When it's like, nah, one person, like, ain't. Don't represent all people, right? And just because they might have a little resemblance don't mean they're the same person. You got to be smarter than that. And that's why I asked those questions like, yo, do we have to go through this up cycle to get here?

B (82:38)

Well, then I wonder about. Here's my thing to that parallel, right? If. If having issues with our mothers make us hate women, then what does that say about our relations to men with absence? You know what I'm saying? Like, the absence of a father, does that make us yearn for relationships with men more or does that make us resent men? Like, you know, I don't think we ever talk about like, male to male relationships even, like just in the platonic sense.

A (83:10)

Yeah.

B (83:10)

Like how we relate to each other, how we value ourselves as friends, you know, how we maintain friendships and things like that.

A (83:18)

That's a great.

B (83:18)

And I think also too, there's a. There's also a thing about. There's a criticism of men in male friendships is like Y' all don't know anything about each other, or y' all just don't care about shit like that. But I think that may come from a detachment of not really knowing anything about our dads or. Or even having, like, an emotionally deep relationship with our dad. It's like, we don't value those intimate things. It's just, like, presence. Like, I could be like, I could kick it with my boy and not do shit. And it's like, we probably sit here 30, 45 minutes, ain't saying shit to each other. Be like, all right, I'm out, bro. You know what I mean? It's like, but that's my dog, though. It's like. But I've seen how intimate girls are with each other, and it's like, yo, that shit. It's crazy how close y' all get to. No wonder y' all are fall out. Y', all, like, be baring souls with each other. Y' all be so tight. Yeah, girls, something happened. It's like, yeah, it's like a relationship. It is a relationship, though. They really be having relationships with each other in a real way. And I'm not saying men don't. I'm just saying I think oftentimes we. We investigate a lot with men about how we relate to women, but I don't think we investigate a lot about how we relate to each other. Other.

A (84:29)

I seen this girl. Well, I was talking to this girl a while ago, and she was saying that I don't think soulmates just have to be of the opposite sex. I feel like you can have a friend's soulmate, too. And when she said that, she was explaining that I'm like, damn, I think Alex is my soulmate, because Alex is somebody that's been there, like, through thick and thin. And, like, I truly love this person. And I can say that, embrace it without feeling weird, because, again, I know what's up with me. One, but that's that confidence. But two, I have the space to be able to do that, right? And I remember us having a conversation about, like, having a safe space. And I'm like, yo, yes, the space that you have or don't have is the space that you create. You know what I'm saying? So I feel very comfortable having a safe space because I create a safe space for myself, right? So, like, I remember when she said that, I'm like, nah, man. And I'm happy to say that. You know what I'm saying?

B (85:13)

20 years ago, I really loving thing. And I think here's another thing too. We adultsify black children. We hypersexualize black people. So I think that that is also kind of cause an uptick of homophobia amongst men is that we hypersexualize everything. So me even loving my friend is like, oh, you must be gay. You want to fuck that nigga? It's like, no, I love this.

A (85:33)

Yeah.

B (85:34)

It's like, you wouldn't accuse me of wanting to fuck my brother, but because like, even like one of my, one of my good friends, Duran Bernard, he's a gay man. But that's like, that's my dog, bro. And he's like, we posted a video of like, we was talking and he was laughing and he touched me and whatever. I'm not thinking about that. And it was like, oh, he was flirting with you. I was like, this is my friend, nigga. But because we hypersexualize everything, every interaction, even like. And that's some overly incel. Like every interaction between humans. If you sexualize it. You got to put the porn down, brother. You got to put the porn down. Okay? The doordash driver is just there to drop out the food. She's not gonna secretly you. She's just there to drop the food off.

A (86:14)

That's a whole category, yo.

B (86:16)

My. She actually doesn't even want to do that. Job facts. So you and your dick have, have not even entered the equation. We gotta put the porn down. We gotta make porn inaccessible for like a year.

A (86:27)

I'm with you.

B (86:27)

You know what I'm saying? Just one year. Just a, a good fast. Because. Because of how not only are. And it's not just black people. Our, our, our society hypersexualizes everything. What do they say? Sex Sell if you want to sell beer. Sex if you want to sell wings.

A (86:47)

Cigarettes at one point.

B (86:49)

Cigarettes. Newport magazine, you know what I'm saying? Newport. These, selling Newports. Shorty half naked smoking in Newport. Like, like, like they were selling Newports, like as a post sex ritual. You understand what I'm saying? Our society is so driven by sex that it will likely increase the rates of like, things like homophobia, where it's like you can't even see two men embrace each other without thinking something sexual because it's sexual misconduct, you know, and it's normalized. What you talk about rape culture?

A (87:21)

Yes.

B (87:22)

Would you talk about black men? School to prison pipeline. So prison culture, prison rape culture, where it's like we don't want to be intimate with other men out of fear of being accused of being homosexual. And it's A thing that happens now even amongst women. Everything a nigga do is gay. It's like it just becomes this thing of, like, we have to call in the question, like, for one, how deeply the society has affected us, how much it has over sexualized every aspect of our life and how much we engage with those things that it creates these huge gaps in our ability to be intimate with one another, whether it be platonically or sexually.

A (88:04)

And again, I think, like, a lot of these things. Things. A lot of people be speaking on things they don't have. No, like. Like when I hear radio, people talk about, like, rats and like that. You have no business talking about that, Right?

B (88:16)

Yeah, that's not your thing.

A (88:17)

So when I think of it like somebody tapping you on your shoulder, right? Even if it wasn't your friend, if he was flirting with you, right? What does that mean? Okay, he should beat him up, bro. First of all, if a man flirts with another man, if I'm not interested, I can say I'm not interested, right? But a lot of nick, they.

B (88:32)

And if I was uncomfortable, I would say I was uncomfortable. That's another thing too, too. It's like, but. But I'm. But like, if me and Big Cat tell each other a joke, I might punch this nigga, like, just out of laughter, like, that's how. Because niggas are, like, animated when we laugh. Like, that's what we do. And especially something that's that funny. So I'm not thinking about it other than something that's just an expression of laughter. Yo, but like, you gotta think the person on the phone is so zoned in on was like something brief, like, he just tapped my shoulder like that. And it's like, yo, yo, Everything that was said in this video, and that's the thing you focus on. And that's why I say it's an issue with you.

A (89:08)

I don't have the vocabulary, right? So I. And I. And I recognize this because sometimes I do use gay, right? And I'm getting better. Yeah, but you're gay. You're so worried about me. You're gay. Like, why are you worried about what this doing? You're gay. The high value, man, like, be talking

B (89:30)

about, man, y' all is gay all day. All day. You talking about with your dream man,

A (89:35)

you niggas is gay. Well, it's other words to say.

B (89:41)

No, I understand exactly what you're saying, though. And I don't rate men like that. I always look to men as to what I can learn from them, what example they Set. Because in my most pivotal years, I didn't have a close relationship with my friends. So the thing that I learned the most from my dad, though, is, like, his. His willingness to sacrifice, to provide. And I could rely on that, but I couldn't rely on, like, any depth of wisdom, any. Any emotional depth and things like that. And the voidance of that from the man that means the most to you in your life mean you're going to seek those things in other men. And that's just a reality. But, like, Like. Because, like. Like, even sex, like, sex isn't necessarily intimacy. You dig what I'm saying?

A (90:33)

Right?

B (90:34)

And it's like, you know, this is something I like talking to my therapist about is like, my emotional debt. And, you know, the thing that was the most reassuring is like, but your emotional debt is yours. Is it harming somebody? And, like, should you be harming yourself over that? Because I told him, like, yo, this situation happened, and I felt like it's something I should have cried over, but I just didn't and I couldn't. And he was like. He was like, what you trying to tell me, like, you think you broken or something? He was like, all right, tell me something that didn't make you cry. And he was like, does that mean you broken? He was like, because somebody else could have went through that experience and not cried. He was like, does that mean they broken? He was like, you need to stop trying to, like, intellectualize your feelings. And I was like, damn, damn. I ain't never think about that. I never thought about it. Like, you. He was like, you trying to reason with, like, you. You trying to.

A (91:24)

Like you're trying to box anymore.

B (91:26)

You trying to intellectualize it. Like, you trying to, like. Like, bruh, it's not. That's not what it is. That's a feeling. It's an emo. Like, how about. He was like, your feelings are for feeling, not for, like, words and, you know, a philosophical. You trying to. You trying to create a philosophy around your feelings. Yeah. And it's like, you know, and that's like, that's. You know, that's. That's not verbatim how he put it. But I think the thing is, is, like, even the embrace. You know what I mean? Like, the embrace that we have, like, if I. With a dap hug, like, it's love, bruh. And it's like, I think that we are slowly growing out of that. But I think for me, especially you with the 1%, better. We always have these great conversations around men, and manhood it's like a lot of niggas only want to get up and talk about their issues with women. They scared to talk about, like, the gaps that they have with other men because. And it goes back to this hypersexual shit. Whereas you think if you have any concern with another man or any like, any frustration, any emotional gaps, any emotional depth, it's automatically gay. But. But the over. But also like, over consuming or over concerning yourself with, like, every little action of another man is a little weird. So it's like, where do you find? What's the balance? Right? Because there's intimacy and then there's envy. And it's like, if we critique the intimacy, then it's like, we don't know what to do with this, with that, because it's like, it's not something we talk about.

A (93:03)

Yeah.

B (93:04)

But the envy of it is just like, we chalked it up to some hating, whatever the case may be. Like, even dudes that make they'll be on live talking about me and like, my old lady would be like, them gay. And she was like. Yeah, because she was like these dedicating all this time to you.

A (93:21)

Yeah. It's funny because I use that, but I use it vaguely more.

B (93:25)

I mean, I understand what you mean when you say. I think. I think everybody understand exactly what you mean.

A (93:30)

But as cool as it is to have them understand me, I seen a gay guy comment in my comments and it made so much sense. He was like, stop putting negative. Like, stop using gay for negative traits. It's other words to express this. And I'm like, that's fire. Because not every gay man is this weirdo. You know what I'm saying? I don't know. Again, I don't know. I don't have the communication to express it. But when he said that, I was like, wow, that's dope. And that is kind of.

B (93:56)

Cause it creates a negative connotation. And for somebody that's gay, that means that their lifestyle style is negative. And that's not true.

A (94:01)

That's not true.

B (94:01)

You know what I'm saying?

A (94:02)

So that's why I always try to give the.

B (94:03)

I get it. Because I know niggas, but I try

A (94:06)

to give, like, it's just because a lack of. A lack of educational communication skills. So I'm gonna just say what I know.

B (94:13)

Yeah. Ain't no harm to my disrespect. Yeah.

A (94:16)

So I try to do that.

B (94:18)

Yeah. You know, one thing that I think about, like, in terms of like, one thing I ask young men When I go talk to them, it's like, what is your idea of power? And a lot of times, like, what the most unique thing that came up is. The dude was like. This young dude was like, a nigga's ability to communicate with people, like, effectively.

A (94:42)

That's fire. This is high school.

B (94:43)

Yes. And these is, like, the lowest 10% of high schoolers in Atlanta.

A (94:47)

That's fire.

B (94:47)

And I was like, well, why that? He was like, because I struggle to, like, really articulate, like, how I feel and how I think about things. I can write it down, but if I'm put on the spot and ask how I feel about something, I don't know what to say. I don't have the words. And. And he was like. So when he was like, even somebody like you, you can come in here and you can speak your mind very clearly. He was like, that's power to me. And I was like, damn, I ain't never heard that.

A (95:11)

That's fire. I'm getting chills thinking about it, bro. Cuz I tell you, like, even when I brought you, I'm like, man, I see all these people and, like, they be saying things and it's life. Like, I said the same thing to my people, but it don't resonate. And I'm like, that's why I love people like you. Like, the people that's able to come in and articulate themselves and people can connect. Because what's the. What's. What's the point of having a platform or communicating to an audience if they don't get it? It's nothing. Like, it means nothing. Like, what's the point of a punchline if people. If it's not lame? Yeah, it's not a punchline.

B (95:38)

That's another thing, too. It's like, that's what would do with a joke. Like, oh, y' all just don't understand comedy. No, no, that wasn't funny.

A (95:43)

You ain't communicated right.

B (95:44)

That's not funny.

A (95:45)

The thought of it might have been funny, but you ain't landed my.

B (95:47)

Sorry.

A (95:49)

I struggle with that. I tell them I have this conversation all the time because I'm always asking myself, why myself? Why people? Like, nah, bro. Like, they just ain't getting it yet. I'm like, nah, if they not getting, then there's something for me to fix. Because as a speaker, when I come in the room, if I'm speaking to an audience of a thousand of a hundred, and they're not understanding what I'm saying, then I'm not delivering it in A way for them to understand it. So it lands on me. And I think more people have to be more honest with themselves and open to learn so they can get better instead of pointing a finger at everybody else like, nah, yo, yo, yo, y' all not getting it. No, my nigga, it's okay. You gotta figure out another way to communicate it.

B (96:21)

Yeah, I think I'm a big double down on your strengths type person. So I don't know how to edit videos. I hire an editor when I couldn't hire an editor. I did try to edit things myself, and it was decent, but I also lacked consistency. And it wasn't until I got on Live and express, like, yeah, yeah, my videos aren't consistent because I'm editing myself and I don't know what I'm doing and I can't pay nobody to edit. And dude reached out and was like, look, I'll do it for free. I fuck with your shit. But I had to express that. I, I, you know, I had to be able to say, like, I'm not good at this, and I'm not gonna be able to learn it fast enough to be good at this. And, you know, expressing, like, what my shortcoming was, allow for somebody else whose strength that was to come in. Now I could focus on being a better communicator because it's as articulate and as well as I communicate. At times, sometimes I feel like I'm struggling to find certain words, but so I look to other people who I feel like articulate themselves well. But also, like, that should just come with reading more.

A (97:19)

Yeah.

B (97:20)

You know what I mean? Like, you just got to constantly be training. That's why, like, I like the end, the end segment where we read emails. I like this Black History Month segment where we're reading things out of Black History because it's like, you know, reading more, it really does just enhance, like, that power, like, how that shit can snap. But I always just try to focus on, like, okay, this is what I'm really good at. How do I get better at it? The things that I'm not good at, who can do it?

A (97:45)

Facts.

B (97:45)

You know what I mean? Like now, personal flaws and shit like that. Yeah, you got to work on your weaknesses. You got to work on the things that you ain't so good at. That's actually how you grow on a personal level level. But I think even in business, or just how I relate to the world or just finding your footing in the world, whatever you good at, I feel like you just double down on that. All the time. You know what I mean?

A (98:06)

Yeah. Million percent.

B (98:07)

Yeah.

A (98:08)

That's a fact.

B (98:09)

My.

A (98:11)

Yeah.

B (98:12)

Never. Never right time to say goodbye. We just. Everybody just felt it, like, that's it, you know. Well, that's the end of it.

A (98:21)

This is your show.

B (98:22)

Absolutely. No, but I just felt it like. It felt like completion. Well, once again, before we go, was it 4:37 when it happened?

A (98:32)

You know, seven is the number. Number of completion, you know, I don't know.

B (98:36)

No, it was two sevens.

A (98:37)

I don't know how much to go

B (98:38)

in there trying to find a new topic now.

A (98:42)

I. With y', all, with you.

B (98:44)

You funny as your camera right here. Is there anything specific you want to touch on before you go? No, you know, right here. Oh, one thing, too. Congrats on that little wrestle thing. That was. That was amazing. I hate the weather was as shitty as it was that day.

A (98:58)

Oh, no, man, I appreciate that. Thank you, bro.

B (98:59)

Because I wanted to pull up, but it was like, feels like one. And I was like, I'm staying in the house, bro. You know what I'm saying? I told him, too. I was like, I ain't coming.

A (99:08)

It was a great. A great turnout. Way better than I. I thought it would be.

B (99:12)

Yeah.

A (99:12)

With the weather and. But, like, you know, I don't have nothing. I appreciate you having me on the show. Like, I said, much success to you guys. I. I wish you nothing but the best because, you know, the fact that I. I do have your number, you are able to pick up and. Well, I will say this to any, like, young podcaster that's watching, right? We get so enamored in other people's success that we can forget what we got going on. And then you see so many people that might. Might have started after you and pass you, and it's, hey, right, you might. You might get hate. But the one thing that I've learned over the years is broken, bro, when people are successful around you, it means that success is in the area. It's in the. Is in. It's in the atmosphere. So it's coming to you. So instead of looking at somebody and getting upset about it, bro, Embrace it, bro. Understand that, like, you have these connections for a reason, right? Like, they with you for a reason. Because I understand how. How it can be. Like, I was there. It might have been a long time ago, but I was there and I could see how easy it is. So, like, bro, it's nothing to salute somebody that's doing good. That takes that. Just because you shine a light on somebody else. Does not dim yours. I promise you, bro. And it makes it easier to fuck with you on the back end because think about it like this, bro. I had this man on my show a year ago. Yeah, your show has only gotten bigger.

B (100:21)

Yeah, that did wonders for me as well.

A (100:22)

Hypothetically, let's say you got me on next the next week, right? Yeah, it'd been cool. Now your way bigger. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, bro, just. Just be patient. I want to say this because I understand how it is to come up and you just get frustrated, but. But like, yo, just stay grounded. Understand that your time is coming. And like, you know, just always show love, man. Even when it hurts. You know what I'm saying?

B (100:42)

Always do that, J. Hill.

A (100:43)

Appreciate you, my dog.

B (100:44)

Appreciate you my name, my dog. All right, this episode 100 something. We don't never know because, you know, we record them in batches. Ferg got me over here working like I owe this studio debt. So. Now I'm gonna put it on you. I do be doing that. I'd be like 33 at 3am Like God damn episode, you know? Follow J. Hill. Follow. Listen to the one percent better podcast. I am your host, Deontay Kyle. Big cat is not here. He over there taking care of business with his granny. Shout out to the grand all the grandmas in the world, nigga. And shout out to y', all, take care of yourselves and take care of each other, man.

A (101:30)

Peace. Appreciate you, man.

B (101:49)

Yeah, they say without the proper labor, faith don't stand a chance. I put my faith in faith and stand on fertile land I planted seeds Adeline deed turning the trees before rest in peace tease get printed to me

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B (102:21)

Raise your hand if you've been putting off a dentist appointment or an annual physical. Yep, my hand is up too. When something feels off, I usually self diagnose using the world wide web, convince myself it's probably fine, or try to find some random wellness trend instead of actually booking an appointment. And if that sounds familiar, I'm right there with with you. But this year, we're doing things differently. We're finding doctors we actually like and booking appointments with Zoc doc. Because finding out you love, that's like finding a diamond in the rough. Sure you want someone in network nearby with open time slots. But you also want someone who really listens. They make you feel comfortable and they explain things clearly. Someone who doesn't rush you out the door. Maybe even someone who makes you like path your diamond in the rough doctor exists and finding them is easy on zocdoc zocdoc is a free app and a website that helps you find and book high quality in network doctors so you can find someone you love. We're talking about booking in network appointments with more than 150,000 providers all across the 50 states. Whether you're looking for dermatology, dentistry, primary care, eye Care or one of the other 200/specified offered on Zoc Doc, you can easily search by specialty or symptom to build the care team that's right for you. You want to see your doctor in person? Great. You prefer a video visit? You could do that too. And what I really like is you can view thousands of verified patient reviews to give a real sense of who your doctor is. Maybe they hate small talk just as much as you. Maybe they root for your favorite sport team. Whatever it is, you can feel confident that you will be booking a doctor you love and when you're ready you can see their real time availability and click to book instantly. No phone tag, no waiting around. Appointments made through Zocdoc happen fast, typically within 24 to 72 hours of booking. You can even score some same day appointments. Personally I love that I can handle all this at 11pm when I finally have a second to breathe. No calling offices during business hours. Just open the app, find what works for me and book it. If I need to find a doctor, that's what I'm using. So stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to zocdoc.com grits and find and book instantly a doctor you love today. That Z O c d o c.com grits zocdoc.com grits and thank you Sockdoc for sponsoring this message. USAA knows dynamic duos can save the day like superheroes inside you ticks or auto and home insurance. With USAA you can bundle your auto and home and save up to 10%. Tap the banner to learn more and get a'@usaa.com bundle restrictions apply.