Episode 146 - Crissle

Summary

Grits and Eggs Podcast — Episode 146: Crissle

Release Date: May 15, 2026
Host: Deante’ Kyle
Guest: Crissle (Co-host of The Read, host of Crissle's Couch)

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Episode Overview

This episode is a lively, free-flowing conversation between Deante’ Kyle and podcasting legend Crissle. Carried by a blend of humor and keen social observation, the two discuss Black family culture, generational differences, diasporic identity, current events, pop culture, and their respective journeys in podcasting. The tone alternates between lighthearted, personal anecdotes and direct, sometimes biting, analysis of heavy topics like racial politics, American decline, and Internet discourse. Both speakers' Southern roots, humor, candor, and commitment to calling out nonsense shine throughout.

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Key Themes & Topics

1. Black Family Life & Domestic Comedy

Timestamps: 02:23–09:01, 44:05–54:53

• Full House Dynamics: Deante’ jokes about never getting the house to himself and the chaos of parenting in a packed home.

  • "[There’s] no walking around naked in my house." (03:12, Deante’)

• The Family Dog Saga: His practical decision to send the family dog to “the country” for a better life, free from his kids' rough play.

  • "It really is like a weight off my shoulders. Cause he's a working…Staffordshire terrier…he need(s) to move around." (03:53, Deante’)
  • "This poor dog. Y’all have had him in jail." (04:02, Crissle)

• House Upgrades and Boundaries: Reflecting on putting in new furniture, a prized Wayfair rug, and enforcing strict household rules for preservation.

  • "This rug has boundaries, you know what I'm saying?...No food, drink, no ideas past this." (06:21, Deante’)

• "Display Rooms" & Black Upbringing: Shared nostalgia over the tradition of rooms "for company" (never actually used), and how poverty influenced home pride.

  • "I got one room where the shit in here is nice and it’s going to stay nice." (08:05, Crissle)

2. Generational Change, Technology, and Money

Timestamps: 08:35–14:59

• Kids and Digital Money: Observations on how children now see money as digital, not physical—just a "ding" sound effect.

  • "They just think, oh, it’s a card you tap…I read something about kids’ perception of money changing." (08:49, Crissle)

• Old School Gaming vs. Instant Gratification: Comparing old video games (with no saves, tough levels) to present-day hand-holding, and how that shaped problem-solving.

  • "Now it’s like every 10 seconds, they auto-save…everything is, like, instantly gratifying." (10:30, Deante’)
  • "When I was coming up, there wasn’t no DVR…If you missed it, you simply missed it." (13:58, Crissle)

• TV Nostalgia: Waiting for TV Guides to scroll, snow days on TV, and the deliberate, patient pace of pre-Internet life.

3. Black Diaspora & FBA/Online Division Discourse

Timestamps: 20:57–33:36

• FBA/Foundational Black Americans Discourse: Deante’ vents about online beefs after criticism of FBA discourse; Crissle helps clarify its origins and current cult-like behavior.

  • "What FBA has become…moves like an organization online. They move like a cult." (27:02, Deante’)
  • "When I speak out against FBA…they [say] oh, you don't fuck with Black Americans. Like, nigga, I am a Black American." (27:19, Deante’)

• Black Identity Politics: Explores the contest over "authentic" Blackness between people in the diaspora, and pushback against Black American "supremacy" narratives.

  • "Them are the original colonizers. I’m not finna…The white people who colonized us were running from them [the British].” (25:53, Crissle)

• Immigrant Perspective & "Wake-up Call": Discusses how some Black immigrants come to the US with misperceptions, eventually facing the "nigga wake up call.”

  • "No matter how you arrive here…You about to find out that you are just a nigga over here." (28:40, Crissle)

• Respect for Black American Contributions: Consensus that Black History Month is for centering Black American achievements.

  • "Nobody should have an issue with centering Black Americans and all our contributions in this country." (30:07, Deante’)

4. American Politics & Decline

Timestamps: 36:41–41:39

• Disillusionment with America: Jokes about American collapse, Trump’s conman talents, and white Americans’ commitment to whiteness over the country itself.

  • "Truly believed that white people loved America more than anything. That shit ain't true…Their allegiance to whiteness is stronger than their allegiance to the country." (41:38–41:45, Crissle)

• Guns, ICE, Hypocrisy: Satirically calls out the contradictions in American attitudes toward guns and policing.

  • "Children will get murdered in the school, and they’ll be like, guys, we gotta have guns." (42:16, Deante’)

• Cost of Living: Spiraling prices (e.g., $8.19 for Ziploc bags) as signs of American decline.

5. Personal Journeys & The Evolution of Podcasting

Timestamps: 58:17–66:03

• Crissle Origins: Meeting Kid Fury on Twitter, their underground roots, and the breakneck rise of The Read.

  • "It was like within a couple of months, we was selling ads…and for a while…it started out paying my regular job." (59:56, Crissle)
  • "Every time I go do a show, somebody says that to me. They like, wow, you really…the girl. I'm like, thank you." (61:32, Crissle)

• OG Podcast Culture: Waxing nostalgic about the audio-only podcast era, anonymity, and the subsequent necessity for video/promo with TikTok.

  • "Back in my day…the real podcasting, right? You don't show your face…YouTube videos…Real anonymity." (63:17, Crissle & Deante’)

• Guesting and Connections: The role of TikTok and social media in forging connections for new collaborations.

6. Parenting & Intergenerational Antics

Timestamps: 44:05–54:53, 94:19–97:30

• Parent-Child Power Plays: Deante’s stories of his son’s persistent attempts to work around house rules (especially regarding PlayStation).

  • "This nigga doesn’t mean it…If my son say, 'let's hang out,' there’s a motive." (94:59, Deante’)
  • "He'd be like, actually, I did come to ask you a question." (95:14, Deante’)

• ADHD Realities: Honest talk about adult ADHD, procrastination, and wrestling with executive dysfunction.

  • "I just watched you take 90 minutes to clean the kitchen…you started running the dishwater, then realized the trash was full…It took you 90 minutes." (52:28, Deante’s partner, relayed by Deante’)
  • "That ADHD shit…[is] whooping your ass." (53:22, Deante’s partner, relayed by Deante’)

7. Pop Culture, Wrestling, and Television

Timestamps: 10:46–13:06, 66:01–70:11, 91:14–91:59

• Wrestling Fandom: Discussion on wrestling as a "adolescent soap opera" and how growing up, discovering sex and drugs led to leaving it behind.

  • "Adolescent soap opera…Storylines were immaculate." (66:18, Deante’)
  • "I got out of it once I started fucking…wrestling just didn't live for me no more." (66:56, Deante’)

• TV Upbringing: Revealing how TV was a lifeline and secret weapon for outlasting parental punishments as a kid.

• Reality TV and Black Women Archetypes: Quick takes on figures like Omarosa, Candace Owens, and Tiffany Pollard (New York).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "He don't even know Earth. He’s learning English. He’s learning Earth." (05:04, Crissle and Deante’ on their puppy)
• "Every generation think(s) the next is soft. But kids today? It's not their fault. The world just moves different." (paraphrased, 09:59+)
• "When they say 'FBA,' it's not just, I’m Black American…they saying it like Black American supremacy." (27:38, Crissle)
• "Allegiance to whiteness is stronger than their allegiance to the country." (41:46, Crissle)
• “This episode is brought to you by ADHD.” (lighthearted remark after discussing cleaning the kitchen, 52:28–53:09)
• "You’re not funnier when you’re high. You really are not, nigga. In fact, you’re slower and you say things in a more stupid way." (82:53, Crissle)

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Importants Timestamps

• [02:23] – Kicking off: family, TikTok lectures, bed-sharing, dog decision.
• [06:21] – Setting rules for the new rug: "No food, drink, or ideas past this."
• [10:30]–[13:06] – Nostalgia for video games, TV, differences in childhood experience.
• [20:57]–[33:36] – Deep dive into FBA, Blackness, diaspora online battles, Hidden Colors.
• [41:38]–[42:14] – "White people loved America more than anything—ain’t true."
• [58:17]–[61:27] – Crissle’s journey into podcasting, the rise of The Read.
• [66:01]–[66:56] – Outgrowing wrestling, "adolescent soap opera" allegory.
• [94:05]–[96:05] – Parenting wars: kids outwitting parents, weaponized incompetence.
• [83:24]–[85:58] – Crissle on solo podcasting, launching Crissle's Couch, mental health focus.

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Flow, Language, and Tone

• The conversation is fast-paced, colloquial, and saturated with Black Southern humor.
• Frequent playful cussing and use of African American Vernacular English (AAVE).
• Tone pivots effortlessly from snarky commentary to poignant social insight.

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Closing Thoughts

This episode highlights the unique chemistry between Deante’ and Crissle. It’s at once hilarious, incisive, and grounded in personal and cultural experience. Crissle offers behind-the-scenes wisdom on the podcasting industry and shares why her new solo project, Crissle’s Couch, is both a challenge and a labor of love, aiming to bridge everyday people and accessible mental health resources. The duo’s banter about family chaos, the evolution of Blackness as both lived and politicized identity, and survival in a declining America makes the episode a tapestry of relevant, funny, and thought-provoking discussion.

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Guest Plugs

The Read (Theread.com)
Crissle’s Couch (crisslescouch.com)
Patreon.com/crisslescouch

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For Listeners Who Missed It

This episode is a great intro for those new to Crissle, as well as a snapshot of Black millennial podcasting: honest, provocative, reflective, and deeply funny. If you’re interested in cultural critique, diasporic debate, or simply good Southern Black storytelling, episode 146 is a must-listen.

Transcript

[A]

What they did to your family. You're lucky to make it out alive.

[B]

Streaming on Peacock.

[A]

These men are going to come after me. Taking them out. It's my only chance. Put a bullet in her head. From the co creator of Ozark.

[B]

Looks like a family was running drugs. Execution style killing.

[A]

It's rare for the Keys. Any leads on who they might have been running for?

[B]

The cartel killed my family. I'm gonna kill them. All of them.

[A]

Mia Streaming now only on Peacock. This episode is brought to you by Redfin.

[B]

You're listening to a podcast, which means you're probably multitasking, maybe even scrolling home listings on Redfin, saving homes without expecting to get them. But Redfin isn't just built for endless browsing. It's built to help you find and

[A]

own a home with agents who close

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Get [e-mail], own the dream. You survived the Miami weekend, nailed the speech and maxed out your credit card in the name of friendship. Now you've got one hangover, four pastel dresses and zero reasons to wear them again. Sell them on Depop. Just snap a few photos and we'll

[A]

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[B]

And you at least get some of your dignity money back. Someone on Depop wants what you've got. Start selling now, Depop. Where taste recognizes taste. From sauce to dust to nuggets. Diablo Dusted Crispy chicken nuggets. No, they don't come in mild. That would make like zero sense with the name new Diablo Dusted Crispy Chicken nuggets only at Taco bell at participating U.S. taco Bell locations for a limited time and while supplies last.

[A]

Yay

[B]

the morning and to God be the glory Thankful for another day to tell my story Put my opinions in the universe and let them orbit I'm from the dirty south with a dirty mouth my knee or a bit miss things things on me like a Norbit had to refuse them cause my no rest fusion she gorgeous as I doubt my sons up and kiss my daughter forehead tell them we gonna get this money to my pockets Morbid. Remember living in apartments now we playing mortgage.

[A]

Yeah. So they do this. It's like lectures at the pub. So her and her husband are both like engineers. Software engineers. So like her whole platform was like breaking down TikTok's algorithm. That's actually how I learned how to get popping on TikTok.

[B]

Oh wow.

[A]

Yeah. So they do these lectures, they invite all these like different professors and shit. And basically you just go have a beer and listen to a professor talk. You take notes, whatever. So I was going to interview, but they changed the times around and I was like, gotcha. Guess what I'm gonna do. Take a nap. I was fighting getting up too. I was comfortable. Yeah. My bed over there was comfortable as hell.

[B]

That's real.

[A]

I'm not used to sleeping in the bed by myself.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

You know what I'm saying?

[B]

You got a full house.

[A]

Full ass house. It's full. It's always somebody present.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. There's no walking around naked in my house.

[B]

No, I wouldn't imagine so. Because it's just always somebody there.

[A]

There's just. I tried it one day. I was in my room, cooling daughter just walked. I was like, hey, what's up? The door was closed. I feel like I got. I feel like a child, like I did something wrong. I was like, get out.

[B]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Daddy was in here by himself.

[A]

You know what I'm saying? I was having a moment, bro. Yeah. So then, like, even getting rid of the dog is just gonna be like, that's one less mouth to feed.

[B]

Wow, that's crazy.

[A]

Yeah. I'm sending him with everything.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

As soon as I get back.

[B]

You don't sound sad.

[A]

I'm not. Honestly. I gotta be honest. It's like. It really is like a weight off my shoulders. Cause he's a working. He's a Staffordshire terrier. So it's like he need to work, he need to move around.

[B]

This poor dog. Y' all have had him in jail,

[A]

you know,

[B]

you just had the dog

[A]

sitting in your house. It's not been the best.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

It's not been the best for him. It's not an ideal environment.

[B]

The dog like, yeah, send me to the country.

[A]

The kids are so rough with him. Like, it's cause he's like. Like he's small, but he's strong. So they're like, yeah. I'm like, bro, stop. He can't. He can't just. He a pit. He's a pit bull. I'm like, it's kinda he in that family.

[B]

But like, leave him alone though.

[A]

Yeah. Like, why you sticking with him, bro? And I had to tell my son. Like, my son's like yelling at him. I'm like, hey, he's gonna remember this. You know what I'm saying? So, like, whenever he does drop his nuts and decide, like, I wanna bite somebody, it's gonna be you. You know what I'm Saying. And he was like, he just doesn't listen. I'm like, he's a fucking puppy. It's a goddamn puppy, huh? It's like saying a baby don't listen.

[B]

Right? He don't even know what you talking about.

[A]

He don't even know Earth.

[B]

He learning English.

[A]

He's learning Earth.

[B]

Nigga don't know what you mean, brother.

[A]

He knew as fuck the Earth. Ye. We had to make it game time. Well, then also, you know, few upgrades to the house, new furniture.

[B]

Rich nigga.

[A]

Rich nigga shit. You know what I'm saying? So I got this big ass area rug. It's like damn near wall to wall. It's beautiful.

[B]

Of course it is.

[A]

Great rug. Shout out to Wayfair. You know, they gave me. They gave me an ad.

[B]

Same.

[A]

You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Shout out to Wayfair.

[A]

Shout out to Wayfair. They gave me an Adrian. You know what I'm saying? Nice. Very nice discount on that motherfucker. Yeah. I said I always wanted a big ass rug, and that's what I did with my discount.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

And then I was like, oh, man, if that dog piss on this rug.

[B]

That's easy to clean up, though.

[A]

Yeah. Not easy on the mind, though.

[B]

I'd be way more worried about multiple children doing something on my rug.

[A]

Oh. You know that I had to, like, set ground rules and forever. You see where this rug starts? Cause it's like living room, you know, the little. The little break in the floor.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I was like, no food, drink, no ideas past this. Yeah. Keep all your ideas over there.

[B]

This rug have boundaries.

[A]

This rug got boundaries, you know what I'm saying? See how I feel on the feet? You know what I'm saying? You feel how it feel when you got no shoes on, right? Yeah, no shoes on.

[B]

Keep it like that.

[A]

No shoes on this motherfucker. Yeah. This shit finna get real Japanese in this motherfucker.

[B]

You finna be like, my meemaw had everything in her living room was, like, covered in plastic. And even if it wasn't, you couldn't sit in there.

[A]

It was like, it's no reason to be in there.

[B]

And she. That's literally what she would say. It's no reason for kids to even be in here.

[A]

Yeah. So my granny still got a room like that. Um, my. My maternal grandmother, she. Before she passed, China cabinet, living room. Like, it's just. I don't know, you know, black people just do this thing where we just have rooms. That's not.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Display room. More than Anything, right?

[B]

And she acted like it was for, you know, company or something.

[A]

Company don't even go in there. Every company go right to the living room.

[B]

Same regular niggas on the block, they don't go. They don't get to sit in there neither. I never once met nobody fancy enough for my grandma to invite them to sit on that couch.

[A]

You know what it is? It's like, let's say, man. Man get like, recruited by college, you

[B]

know what I'm saying?

[A]

Play some football, basketball, but the white

[B]

man gotta come check.

[A]

It's fucked up, but it's the only thing I can.

[B]

You be like, oh, yeah, coach, why don't you go right here? Mr. Harbaugh. Go down. Mr. Harbaugh.

[A]

The plastic. Plastic been on this couch 20 years just waiting on you to come put your ass on it.

[B]

Damn, that's a shame.

[A]

It's fucked up. But I think also too, it's like when you kind of the background of like, poverty is like, I gotta have something that just look nice. You know, I spent some money on it, right?

[B]

Cause I ain't got shit else. I got all these kids, even more

[A]

grandkids, and I got their room.

[B]

And so I'm gonna have one room where the shit in here is nice and it's gonna stay nice.

[A]

Hell, yeah. And the only way it stay nice is with no human interaction, especially children.

[B]

Like, adults might could go in there, sit on one of the chairs that wasn't covered, but kids don't even blink in the direction of that room.

[A]

I love my kids, but, like, kids will ruin shit.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And it's like, it's not at the top of their mind. They just don't value shit. They thinking like, you think they don't value shit the same way you do. Money is just like, whatever.

[B]

What do they know about that? They don't even really. I read something about kids perception of money changing because they just think, oh, it's a card you tap or you just order on the app. Like, we used to have to see people count out dollars.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

But now kids is just like, oh, well, where your card at? Like, you. It's not a magic card.

[A]

Everything is so like, oh, yeah. Everything is just a noise to them. It's just ding. And it's like, oh, money, Right?

[B]

Okay. They just hear it. They cash app. You just. Cash app, you just.

[A]

Money is all digital. You know what I'm saying? Cash is like. That's probably like why it's so fast. That's probably like why rappers are on the last leg of the money phone. They just like, I need niggas to.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cause any smart person would just put all that money on a card.

[B]

Well, they said I'm a Challenge your definition of smart right quick.

[A]

You feel me?

[B]

I'm going to challenge that.

[A]

There was this. Okay. I want to say I was reading the article, but I'd be lying.

[B]

Polly was watching the TikTok.

[A]

I was watching the TikTok. Okay? TikTok is an article. It's a.

[B]

It isn't. It is not. Now, you can learn real things on TikTok.

[A]

You can learn real things, but it is not. This is the thing that I learned on TikTok.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, because there's a lot of idiots on there, too.

[B]

Come on. It is.

[A]

Oh, man. And if you piss off the wrong group, they come in droves.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I'm going through that right now. We'll get into that in a second. I was about to say, but the dude was saying, like, basically, Millennials, the video games that we played, it was like, it gives you three lives. There is no saving. There is no nothing. It's just like, you lose. You go back to the beginning, but it forces your brain to figure shit out. Even early on, Zelda, there was no map. There was no clues. You just had to remember shit. And like, now it's like every 10 seconds, they auto save. If you stay stuck on an area too long, they start, like, giving you hints on which direction to go. And it was like. So everything is, like, instantly gratifying. So it's like. Yeah. And, like, games just don't. I don't know. I think I'm. I've aged out of video games. And sports.

[B]

And sports. Damn. I'm still on both. Heavy. I love games. Always have. Me and my brother had a Nintendo and a Sega Genesis growing up. So we, you know, we was just heavy into all of that. And it's true. Like, you would get. I Remember on Mario3n with the raccoon, first of all, the leaf where you could fly.

[A]

Yeah, that's what I mean. And the pee and everything.

[B]

That changed everything first.

[A]

Well, I don't even know if it's accurate to call a raccoon. Cause I've never seen a raccoon fly. Was it a flying squirrel?

[B]

Damn. I actually don't know what that N was supposed to be.

[A]

Yeah. I just remember ears and a tail.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I know you get that leaf and you out.

[B]

You get that leaf.

[A]

I'm out, nigga.

[B]

Run for a little bit. And Then, nigga, you up there in the clouds with the extra.

[A]

Just fighting gravity, bro. You with me.

[B]

But don't let you get real far. Like, don't let you get to world 8 and you finna fight the Koopa. Koopa. Koopa. Koopa, nigga. And then you on your last. Like, you right there at the castle. And then the power go out. Nigga, it's no such thing as save.

[A]

There's no save.

[B]

Or you just leave it on. Cause you gotta go to school or whatever. And your daddy come home and just cut the shit off. Cause he don't give a damn.

[A]

Yeah. Cause like electricity.

[B]

Yeah, nigga, I don't give a fuck. You wanna play this? I'm not leaving.

[A]

And Mario, nigga. Nigga, fuck you and Mario, nigga. I'm gonna show you the real Bowser is. Power off, nigga. Power that shit off.

[B]

That's real.

[A]

That was me with Smackdown. Smackdown. So.

[B]

Oh, Lord.

[A]

Smackdown. It was like, I have no memory card for my PlayStation.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

So we just stuck in it, Got you and the PlayStation get hot. And that bitch starts sounding like a goddamn car that bit that damn fan. Get the blowing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's a signal to my mom like, something's on time to cut that off. Yep, we gotta get that off.

[B]

Cut that off.

[A]

And then it's like I come home, like, I'm getting off the bus. I'm running home. I'm like, hell, yeah, nigga. I'm tag team champs. You thought, nigga, over with, over with. And then I'm mad. But you. And then I also can't chastise my mama, nigga.

[B]

Yeah. Now what you gonna do?

[A]

What I'm gonna say?

[B]

I'll wrap all this shit up.

[A]

It won't be no PlayStation in this.

[B]

That's what you don't want be Nan. What you gonna do?

[A]

You ain't gotta worry about me cutting shit off.

[B]

You ain't even gotta worry about it. Ain't Ned.

[A]

How about give me that place?

[B]

Yep. Yeah.

[A]

So it's like.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Even speaking of, like, Sega Genesis, bruh, the hardest game on Sega Genesis was that fucking Lion King game.

[B]

Was it?

[A]

Nigga, every time I got to the part where you gotta jump on the logs.

[B]

Okay. Yeah.

[A]

I was just like, I can't beat this. I don't even think this is meant to be beat.

[B]

It's so many games like that where I would just be like. I would just give the controller to my cousin, like, get me past this part. Cause I just can't fucking do it. I pinpoint my anxiety to when we used to play Sonic the Hedgehog. And Sonic would swim underwater, but then the music would start speeding up when he was running out of air. And sometimes the N would just drown.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I really think that game, like the sound of that music. That's where I learned to get keyed up.

[A]

Yeah, you were like, music theory.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, shit. This means danger, nigga.

[B]

But it's the same theory with video games as with money. Like, these kids concept of what can be done with these things. Like, even tv. When I was coming up, it wasn't no dvr, nigga. If you missed it, you simply missed it.

[A]

You gotta wait on a rerun.

[B]

You gotta wait for it to rerun. You can't go search for that and stream it.

[A]

Really, nigga, let's. Let's keep it in being TV Guide.

[B]

Yeah. And you had to wait for the TV Guide to spawn all the way up.

[A]

And you know, your shit is like. The shit I'm looking for is BT. It's on channel 72. I turn to the TV Guide, it's on 74. I'm like, fuck.

[B]

Fucked, man.

[A]

I gotta wait here.

[B]

And it's gonna be several minutes for.

[A]

It's gonna be a lot of minutes, bro. They go into channels I don't even got.

[B]

He had to turn on the TV to check the news to see if, like, school was gonna be out when it snowed or whatever. Like, shit.

[A]

Like, you gotta chill. Like, you fully dressed. Like, yeah, is my school.

[B]

And you gonna have to wait for your county to roll on that tv.

[A]

That shit is in alphabetical order.

[B]

These kids don't know shit about that, man.

[A]

Bruh. Like, life is very accessible to them.

[B]

It is. They don't even understand how many obstacles have been removed for them with the Internet.

[A]

Yeah. I talk so much shit to my kids about, like, y' all don't know shit.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I mean, you have to. It's your birthright.

[A]

Yeah, it is. Like, it is actually. Like, that's when you know you a parent, right? When you just start criticizing other.

[B]

Oh, yeah. For being younger than you.

[A]

Yeah, that's it. Just for having life easier. Just. Everything is easier for you, Leah.

[B]

Cause you niggas don't know shit about it. Like, okay, all right, grandpa, let's get you a bit. All right.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Now, we know y' all had newspapers. You had to check it to see what the movie was playing. Like, we know it was old.

[A]

We get it. Yeah. You had to take your time in life.

[B]

Y' all had CDs

[A]

oh, you burned a CD.

[B]

Okay, okay.

[A]

You burned a CD dance mix. You burned a CD for the girl. You lying.

[B]

Oh, man. And took that so serious.

[A]

Nigga. What?

[B]

Had a whole CD book in the car. Whoever in the passenger seat flip through my shit and we gonna find something

[A]

to mess with that's more essential than making sure the heat on.

[B]

It really is just.

[A]

Bro, what we riding to.

[B]

And literally. And figure it out. Cause once you put that CD in, we're not easily switching shit up.

[A]

No, it's a process.

[B]

That's why you had to have burned

[A]

CDs and a 6 CD changer. Don't let it be in the back.

[B]

Oh, okay. Cause you know it's in the trunk for.

[A]

It's in the trunk.

[B]

So you gotta load them shits up before you even get in the car.

[A]

We gotta make sure, like, we gotta go through. I don't feel like listening to none of this shit today. Now I gotta swap all this out. Yeah. It's a process. Everything was a process. But it's cool.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's like. Think it's just patient somewhat. Well, I mean, but we also are like the first adopters of the Internet. Like, in a real way.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cause I'm 10 in the year 2000. So I thought the world was gonna end according to tv.

[B]

Right?

[A]

But the only thing I gave a fuck about was like, who is this? So wrestling used to have so raw. Was like, trying to introduce this new character. And we was gonna learn about the new character in the new year. It was Y2J. And they kept me, like, months before. It was like, countdowns.

[B]

Gotcha.

[A]

We wouldn't never know who it was. It would just do this random countdown.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then we finally met it. It was like, oh, this nigga Chris Jericho. This whole.

[B]

Yeah. We was at church, New Year's, 2000. Because my mama was like, the world gon end. Like, she definitely was like, the year 2000.

[A]

The first time I ever seen my dad drunk.

[B]

Huh. Interesting.

[A]

My grandma stayed in the hood. She stayed in a park at Lakewood in southwest Atlanta. And my dad went out with my auntie. My auntie had just turned 21.

[B]

This is clear for you.

[A]

Yeah, I know. I'm telling you. Cause I just remember they came back and I was like. I was like, why they acting like that? They acting weird, right? I've never seen them act like that.

[B]

Niggas is being weird.

[A]

Niggas being weird. Everything's funny.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And y', all, for whatever reason, keep falling. And then I was like. And Then I just remember my auntie had the New Year's glasses. 2, 000. And then my dad was like, I need some air. And he came back and his whole fucking head was cut. Cause he just collapsed. Oh, Lord. And my dad a big dude, so you gotta think like, damn, he tore that concrete.

[B]

He was pounding him.

[A]

He tore that concrete off. Cause you just stay in the ghetto. It ain't no soft landings no way, right?

[B]

Yeah, it ain't nothing.

[A]

Yeah. It ain't nothing to break your fall but your head, evidently.

[B]

So.

[A]

Yeah. So, yeah, like that whole shit. And then my Uncle Tony was in the bathroom, knocked the fuck out, like, hugging the toilet. And I was just like, what the fuck is wrong with these niggas? Like, what did they go do?

[B]

Right?

[A]

And nobody would give me any answers. And I was like, I'm gonna figure this fucking.

[B]

I'm on the case.

[A]

I'm building the case. And then I turn, like, 16. I was like, ah.

[B]

And it was all made clear to you.

[A]

Okay, it's them bottles just six years ago.

[B]

Yeah. It was so innocent.

[A]

Whatever they put in them damn bottles,

[B]

you figured it out.

[A]

You know what I'm saying? I cracked the case.

[B]

You did?

[A]

Yeah, man. This is episode 100 and something. I don't know when this is coming out. I know I'm in the hundreds.

[B]

Okay. Congratulations.

[A]

Thank you. We're here with podcast. Podcast legend.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I'm saying? A legend, not only in podcasting, but specifically black podcasting. Made her know her as the co host of the Read.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

But now she is the proud host of Krystal's Couch.

[B]

Correct. Thank you.

[A]

How are you?

[B]

I'm doing great, man.

[A]

Thank you for coming.

[B]

You're welcome. You know, I. Cause it's. The weather's bad in New York, so it fucking sucks. Really. Gotta fuck with somebody to voluntarily come outside, you know? Really got to.

[A]

It's an honor, you know. Really? Truly, truly, truly.

[B]

Well, we had so much fun on Crystal's couch. I.

[A]

That was a great episode.

[B]

Now, we had a ball and we had a wang dang doodle. So I said, yeah, let me go see.

[A]

But that'd be our first link. Like, no previous. I don't even think we had a conversation prior to that.

[B]

Never met her before that. Like, just. Yeah, I got a lot of comments like, is that your cousin? I'm like, hell, I don't know, man. Don't start digging too deep. Might be. I don't know, child.

[A]

Yeah, well, according to the fba, I'm

[B]

not a Nigger, what did you do?

[A]

I said it was the feds.

[B]

Oh, Well, I mean, they do move weird.

[A]

So this is the thing. I don't like stupid people because you say things and then they take things and they make it something else. And it's like, oh, okay, I gotta deal with this. And I don't feel like walking back my statements nor doing clarifying. Okay, I don't like clarifying.

[B]

What's your backstory here?

[A]

Okay, first of all, nigga Tariq Nasheed has been making videos about me.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

For months.

[B]

For months?

[A]

Months. I never responded.

[B]

Speaking of weird. Wait, is he the one who started that FBA shit?

[A]

Okay, so Claude Anderson. Dr. Claude Anderson is the one that started the FBA way back when.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But this was a distinction as an ethnic group. Foundational Black Americans. This is in an attempt to get reparations so they go to who they're rightfully awed to.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Right. Tariq Nasheed. You know how to be a player, ass nigga. The Mac King Flex. This life isn't panning out for him as an author and a dating coach. Then he goes VH1.

[B]

Nobody was going to Tariq Nasheed for

[A]

that peak reality tv. Tariq Nasheed. Never seen an episode. I. Just the other day, somebody sent me. Like you ever knew that he was. Did this? Like, no, nigga, no n. I found out about this nigga from Hidden Colors.

[B]

Gotcha.

[A]

Like a real nigga, you know what I'm saying? Really doing the Knowledge.

[B]

Yeah, really doing the knowledge.

[A]

This is how I found out about Dr. Umar, too.

[B]

Yeah. You recommended Hidden Colors on my show. And I'm like, who did y' all set me up with?

[A]

I'm telling you.

[B]

Who is this nigga?

[A]

Y' all, listen, I'm telling you.

[B]

Sacred Space.

[A]

Hidden Colors is a great starting point. I would suggest one. I would say stay there. You know, once you start getting a 2, 3, 4, 5, this shit get a little weird. You could tell niggas was running out of information.

[B]

Okay. Started just throwing some shit up.

[A]

You just gonna make some shit up. Hey, how y' all feel about this? Is that all right? Is that all right?

[B]

Finna just start throwing some shit.

[A]

You know what I'm saying?

[B]

We gonna figure it out.

[A]

This makes up other niggas history. We just gonna call it black history.

[B]

Got you.

[A]

Okay, you start watch. You get on hidden colors 4 and 5. This is how niggas start telling niggas that they Native Americans, right? Yeah. This is what we get in that territory.

[B]

All of a sudden, we the natives of every continent. And it's like all mankind originating from Africa does not mean all black people are native to every continent. So I just need you niggas to

[A]

know that this is a little, small, tiny little thing called. This is a little bitty itty bitty tiny thing called evolution that causes like, features and genetics.

[B]

Like, I just need niggas to be familiar with. Things change. They do over billions of years, nigga, but you have to know science to know.

[A]

Yeah, but you also have to know, like, you leave the climate of central Africa and you go to Asia. Your feature's gonna change, nigga.

[B]

Yes. Over the course again of billions of years. I just don't know why niggas think we get to claim every fucking thing. Every.

[A]

I think that there's like, there's something about it, you know? And you know, the first human.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Nigeria, you know, I mean, Ethiopia. Ethiopia. Let's not get them wrong, okay? First human, first recorded human. I don't know what else was going on first of all, like, none of us have these answers, okay?

[B]

Right.

[A]

What I do know is that in most history, as far as it predates back, there are dark skinned people.

[B]

Right? Of course. What. I don't think who is even challenging that.

[A]

But these niggas think it's like a nigga from Detroit.

[B]

Gotcha. Right? Right. So how did Tuka Nasheed start making videos about you then?

[A]

So I'm confused. I said every nigga in the diaspora wants to be special. And when we was all colonized, like, we was all colonized. Nobody's special in colonization. And at some point we just gonna get to a point where we just saying, like, who has the better colonizer? Like, nigga, actually I was colonized by the Portuguese. So this is where I. This is just what I said. And so they said that I said black Americans ain't special. And I was like, well, that's not what I said. I was just saying that everybody in the. Everybody think that they special.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And we all just niggas.

[B]

Like, I'm with you,

[A]

you know, I'm of the ideology. Okay, we all just niggas.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

And I'm cool with that.

[B]

Yeah, this sounds like when us niggas and UK niggas start going back and forth about everyone.

[A]

Okay, I will say this specifically.

[B]

Let's not do that.

[A]

Not a fan of the uk. Not a.

[B]

Well, I mean, it's. I don't have no problem with them as a people.

[A]

No, not as a people. When we start, is this a rhetoric

[B]

claiming our country over their country. It's like, come on now, dog. We can't really, like.

[A]

Yeah, so. So this where I be. This where I be losing this where. Well, maybe niggas are losing me.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

I'm not like a patriot.

[B]

Oh, no. For the United States. Be for real.

[A]

Are you dead ass?

[B]

But I'm not taking no shit from no UK nigga.

[A]

That part.

[B]

You see what I'm saying?

[A]

I don't think these are hard concepts.

[B]

Them are the original colonizers. Like, I'm not finna.

[A]

They are OG colonizers. First of all, that empire, the white people that colonize us, was running from them niggas, right?

[B]

Right.

[A]

So what they doing over there?

[B]

And yes, to be fair, y' all did send us your trash, your criminals.

[A]

You send us your criminals. Both US and Australia just inherited just straight bullshit whites.

[B]

The worst whites.

[A]

The worst whites imaginable. Think Appalachia and then, yeah, Christopher Columbus.

[B]

But I'm not gonna go around or USA like you.

[A]

I'm not doing that. I'm not Joel Santana. Head to toe, American flag.

[B]

I'm not doing that shit.

[A]

I'm not.

[B]

The most patriotic I get is the Olympics. They do get me, then they get you. They get me during the Olympics, but that's it. I cut that shit right back off.

[A]

But I am like, if a Jamaican win, I'm like, I'm not mad. Shout out. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Shout out. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Yeah. No, we could lose to a black person from a black country.

[A]

That's me, bruh. That's me.

[B]

Cause you deserve that.

[A]

You. Nah, you ate that, bro. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

And we deserve to lose that.

[A]

Shout out, bro. Shout out, bro. You wanted that shit.

[B]

This is making complete sense to me.

[A]

You wanted it more than me.

[B]

I'm not sure why niggas is mad, so.

[A]

But I think the thing is, is that what FBA has become, It has gotten away from ethnic group and moves like an organization online. They move like a cult.

[B]

It's gotten weird. The way they say.

[A]

It's gotten very weird. So when I speak out again, fba, it's like, oh, you don't fuck with black Americans. Like, nigga, I am a black American.

[B]

What the fuck do you mean, nigga?

[A]

No, I said FBA specifically. I didn't say niggas. I didn't say Black American. Cause I say black American. Yeah, this foundational shit got you niggas acting weird, right?

[B]

Cause they.

[A]

Y' all think y' all niggas to the second power or something, right?

[B]

Cause when they say it, it's not just, I'm black American who descended from black Americans. They saying it like, black American supremacy. And it's like, that's the problem.

[A]

That's where we're at.

[B]

That's the problem.

[A]

And then the nigga that y' all listen to was, like. It just said it the other day, like, oh, Donald Trump's kind of growing on me.

[B]

Oh, see? Nah, nigga.

[A]

And y' all niggas, like, really hate immigrants like y'. All. And listen, here's the thing. You not gonna come over here talking hot about my culture. You're not gonna come over here talking hot about my people. Yeah, I'm not with that. I'm gonna defend that every day. Cause them my people, you talking about me at this point.

[B]

Right?

[A]

But I'm also not like, go back to your country, like, niggas.

[B]

Be for real.

[A]

Handle your business.

[B]

I'm jealous that you know what country you came from.

[A]

Also, you know, also, you know, no matter how you arrive here and what you think about yourself, and you think you better than a nigga when you get here. You about to find out.

[B]

You about to real quick, brother. You about to find out that you are just a nigga over here.

[A]

Your nigga wake up call is impending.

[B]

It's sunk up.

[A]

Yeah. I'll just sit back. I'll say you're wrong. But I also say, just be patient.

[B]

Yeah, There definitely is an attitude amongst some immigrants that, like, they can come over here and just work hard. And that's the problem with black Americans, that we.

[A]

What do you think slavery was? You know, there wasn't no working harder than that.

[B]

Y' all really fell for that propaganda, nigga. You really thought all you had to do was come over here and just be super smart and you wasn't gonna have to worry about these fucking.

[A]

But I think that. But see, this is the thing. This is how I assaulted them. They think we all just, like, dumb niggas.

[B]

Yes, some of them definitely do have that attitude.

[A]

Yeah, they think, like. They think when they come over here, it's like, boys in the hood. Or like.

[B]

So that's that argument.

[A]

They think every nigga is O dog. Just like, yeah, nigga, yeah, nigga. What you call it?

[B]

So when the FBA's push back against

[A]

that, I'm like, yeah, that's why. Listen. The defense of our culture.

[B]

Yeah, I appreciate that.

[A]

Cause even this week, I posted a video, and I was talking about the history of black history. Month. And how it was, like, meant to celebrate black Americans history, because at the time that it was founded, it was often overlooked. There was a lot of lives. There was a lot of muddying it up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was like. And nobody should have an issue with centering black Americans and all our contributions in this country.

[B]

I mean, it's our month.

[A]

It's our month. Very much has been.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then I was like. And five years ago, y' all was popping. No black.

[B]

I know black pop.

[A]

All you niggas was like, I'm Jamaican, I'm not black. I'm Nigerian, I'm not black. All y' all was on that, and that's okay. We live and we learn, but we not all lives matter in black history. Right?

[B]

We're not doing that.

[A]

We're not doing that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's all I said. These FBA niggas already on my. Already hot on the trail. They not fucking with me.

[B]

Why would they be mad at that?

[A]

So then they was like, yeah, you see now deontay get it. I'm like, no, no, no. I always got it.

[B]

You got that?

[A]

No. And then this dude was like, so you changing your stance? I was like, no, the sentiments remain the same. You niggas are weird.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, you niggas are.

[A]

I be calling them federal black Americans because the talking points just get a little maga. They do it gets a little maga.

[B]

Cause what you mean you starting to see Trump's side of any fucking thing. What you mean you starting to like

[A]

that nigga grow on you.

[B]

Nah, nah, nah, nah. Fungus will grow on you, too, nigga. That's not a good thing.

[A]

A lot of things grow. Cancer spreads easily like a fuck, quickly, like a bitch.

[B]

Doesn't mean you should want that or embrace that.

[A]

You know, the thing is, is that when you fail so many times, Damn.

[B]

Oh, see, this is where. This is why they mad at you.

[A]

When you can't convince people that you are a Mac. I seen a video. I want you to when you leave here.

[B]

I'm not.

[A]

Please go look at this video called Meat Slide.

[B]

This n A promise to God, I will not do that.

[A]

Worst. I promise to God, piece of shit song and video this nigga made safe dance music for white people. This is like, nigga, yeah, it was horrible.

[B]

It sounds bad.

[A]

It looked like a skit. So then when you failed, he finally found the way to fail up was just to be divisive and hateful.

[B]

Copy. Okay.

[A]

And it works? Yeah, it works on the Internet, for sure.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cause people and he used his. The knowledge that he has about black American history is now, like, we delineating. We separating ourselves from all the diaspora. Okay, cool. But you also have all this information from your years as a Pan Africanist. And that grift.

[B]

I guess that one has expired.

[A]

That one expired. Okay, so now we move. Now we gonna insulate even more. Now we're gonna isolate niggas. Yeah, and they move like a cult. And they're weird. See, here's the thing. When your fucking username is FBA all day, we're losing, bruh.

[B]

Cause what do you even mean?

[A]

What are you talking about? Like, who are you?

[B]

What's. You could tell they being weird about it? Cause they make sure they put that FBA in. Like, you already black American. Why do you need people to know that? Like, you descended from eight generations of black Americans or whatever?

[A]

Like, yeah, I mean, brother, trust me, it all goes back to slavery.

[B]

This is what I'm saying.

[A]

Even if you from an island.

[B]

And do you think that makes you better than other black Americans? Like, first generation or whatever? Like, immigrant Americans?

[A]

I don't know what they think. I know that there are enough first gen, second gen people, no matter where they came from, that have listened to black Americans and actually been studious enough to understand. Like, oh, I had it wrong. My parents taught me that. Okay, cool.

[B]

And a lot of black Americans were also taught very ignorant things about immigrants.

[A]

Very ignorant things that we're like, oh, n. Like, when n. Wait till when n find out. Like. Like, what's the country? I'm thinking like, Kenya is like, oh, yeah, booming. Like, hold on. You niggas ain't all in huts.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Doing traditional tribal dance.

[B]

Ignorant. Like, I'm not just out there with your cows in the mud streets like,

[A]

bitch, y' all ain't got no straw skirts.

[B]

I come from cities. Yeah. Like, nigga, nigga, I got a house, okay? Not only do I have a house, I have a maid. I have a driver.

[A]

No, actually, them niggas is living it up, son. Let's keep it a stack about. Let's keep it stacking about African women.

[B]

I actually am doing way better in Kenya than you could ever dream.

[A]

I really came here for. I came here for education.

[B]

We came up here for the fun of it, okay? To switch things up.

[A]

Yeah. And like, this is the thing. Like, I'm not just so up about America that I gotta hate other niggas.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

That's when you start becoming white. White American, specifically. White Americans don't like anybody, but white Americans.

[B]

And barely. And then they start chopping themselves up

[A]

further, depending on their politics, Right. If you a barista, watch out. Yeah, you get a college degree, watch out.

[B]

Oh, please.

[A]

These n. Come on.

[B]

No, not with the degrees.

[A]

I mean, that's how they get down. They start chopping. This is what I say. Like, bruh, if every black person left America, every immigrant left America, white people, it's five years until civil war.

[B]

If that.

[A]

Cause all they got, if that is Bibles and guns.

[B]

And, you know, there's definitely a sector of white people that do not fuck with the other white people. But the other white people have the guns.

[A]

So, yeah, we gotta get some of the. We gotta get the woke whites with.

[B]

Yeah, the woke whites don't.

[A]

We gotta get woke whites do not have guns armed.

[B]

They do not have guns.

[A]

If woke whites believed in gun rights. They do not. Minnesota would be a different story.

[B]

Just saying, yo. White people all of a sudden deciding that ICE may be doing too much. Cause a white boy got popped.

[A]

Yeah. They was like, hold on now, nigga.

[B]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[A]

Hold on, nigga.

[B]

It's not funny. Rest in peace to that nigga.

[A]

But crazy. Rest in peace. I was pretty naked.

[B]

I see how all the white people have sex.

[A]

You shoot that white lady in the face. I said, oh, shit.

[B]

Like, y' all really.

[A]

I turned into Bernie Mac. I turned to Bernie Mac when that happened. So what the fuck, America?

[B]

They killing white people now?

[A]

America, I was shocked. This is some bullshit.

[B]

I said, it ain't. No. It's nothing y' all won't do if

[A]

y' all killing white people. Y' all want n to come out to this?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Nah, we had already told y' all we co. And then they shot a white woman in her face.

[B]

I told y' all not to put that nigga back in office. I literally told y' all not to do this.

[A]

This was not a good decision on the whites.

[B]

And they're regretting it a little bit.

[A]

Well, as they should. But also, you know, deal with your consequences.

[B]

Yeah. You know, if the country has to collapse, so be it.

[A]

You know what I'm saying?

[B]

It's what you niggas ask.

[A]

This shit is quite literally mid collapse for niggas. Every day. Every day, the walls feel like you're closing in when you're black, man.

[B]

Everything, it's bad. And I just bought a. I just bought a pack of ziploc bags n $8.19. I said, I know my memaw rolling over in her grave. The prices that we pay for Shit,

[A]

I mean, how much could it cost to make plastic? Like, come on, my nigga, less than 2 cents.

[B]

40 quart Ziploc bags is 8 fucking dollars. The whole.

[A]

The whole box costs 10 cents produce.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. The price of everything is going crazy also.

[A]

You know, here's my thing.

[B]

Here we go. Here we fucking go.

[A]

No, I'm not gonna say nothing crazy. I'm just saying I seen white people singing oh, yeah.

[B]

In Minnesota.

[A]

And I was like. And first of all, I'm not a hater.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, Well, I am a hater, but I'm not a liar. I'm a hater for sure.

[B]

Are you?

[A]

I'm a hater.

[B]

I feel like hater is when you critical without a reason behind it.

[A]

Well, that doesn't matter on the Internet. Oh, okay. Any criticism of anything automatically makes you hater. So I just embrace it.

[B]

Yeah, okay.

[A]

I'm a hater, not a liar. Song was beautiful.

[B]

It is.

[A]

They was hitting them, though. It's a nice song, but there was something in me. I was like, nigga, we tried this 70 years ago. It's not gonna work. The song, trust me, daddy. The song is not gonna change anything.

[B]

It's nice, though.

[A]

It actually might make them angry. Have you niggas. Have you niggas not seen the civil rights movement at all? That we will overcome things. That niggas beat the fuck up. It was a great song, though. Lyrically, perfect picture.

[B]

I just need to hear that. They do.

[A]

There is a lot of Hispanics in ice. That might resonate with song Crazy.

[B]

Too many immigrant niggas in ice uniforms. Like, man, what?

[A]

It's a tough look.

[B]

I'm like. I just are things that, you know, are you at that place in life?

[A]

No. Like, bro, how bad is the economy?

[B]

They told the niggas about that $50,000 sign on bonus. Y' all really thought Trump was finna give all of y' all 50k?

[A]

Are you niggas crazy? No, but listen to believe. Listen, I wanna go. I wanna go on record and say this, okay? He would never be considered the greatest president of all time.

[B]

Greatest.

[A]

But I will say this. Maybe worst president of all time.

[B]

Maybe.

[A]

He got Bush looking.

[B]

He got Reagan looking like, you know, it wasn't that bad. Reagan got caught liar once.

[A]

Well, here's the thing. And they were like, reagan's responsible for crack, so he's all time devil. All time double. I think.

[B]

I think history will not look kindly upon Donald Trump.

[A]

Oh, no. Him and Reagan definitely Mount Rushmore. Worst president.

[B]

Well, I think Donald Trump is going to cause the collapse of the nation. So I think he's gonna edge out Reagan because I mean, at least we vibe after Reagan.

[A]

He just collapsed, niggas.

[B]

And you know, Reagan tricked y' all into thinking that trickle down economics ain't gonna work.

[A]

You know, this was before the Internet.

[B]

Life was good before the. Right, right, right.

[A]

I mean, you know, we could have got experts on TikTok to tell us like trickle down economics and bullshit.

[B]

And I bet you it was people saying that shit then. But everybody's like, shut up, Ronald Reagan.

[A]

Yeah, they were saying that shit on like AM radio. It didn't matter. It was like it's fucking nut job

[B]

on whatever NPR was in the 70s. They're like, look out here with that shit. I don't know what you talking about.

[A]

I will say this though. I want to say this.

[B]

Right, right, right.

[A]

Greatest con man this turn of the century.

[B]

Oh, absolutely.

[A]

I wouldn't even put like evil dictator on him. I'm just saying, like, he is a cut and dry con man and his cons work. He knows his art.

[B]

He's been at it for a long time. So he's had some time to sharpen his skills.

[A]

This nigga was at home alone too. You understand what I'm saying?

[B]

What?

[A]

Home Alone 2 and Epstein island, all in conjunction. This nigga Donald, man. I want y' all to get the technology that can go into a nigga brain and retrieve his memories. That shit is gonna look like a horror movie.

[B]

Yeah. Oh no. Absolutely.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I wouldn't even want to see that actually.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no, no. Somebody else put that shit on Patreon.

[B]

You are such an American. Monetize the hell out of us.

[A]

Monetize that shit. No, real. You know how many N will buy. This is Donald Trump's memories from the last 50 years. We made a super cut.

[B]

No, thank you.

[A]

It's about seven hours long.

[B]

It's some sick shit in there.

[A]

No, it's like a 10 part series. It's like, woo.

[B]

Yeah. The Trump presidency really will show you how dedicated white people are to whiteness.

[A]

Above everything, even above like a healthy life.

[B]

I truly, growing up, truly believed that white people loved America more than anything.

[A]

Yeah. That shit ain't true.

[B]

That is not true. They will. They look at the shit this nigga's doing right now and they like, yeah, but you thought we was gonna let that black Indian bitch, is that laughing bitch, the coconut tree bitch. You thought she was gonna be the bitch out of your Fucking mind. Like, they will let that white man burn this shit to the fucking ground because their allegiance to whiteness is stronger than their allegiance to the country.

[A]

That is their allegiance to America. That is what they mean when they say America.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Yep.

[A]

So, you know, a funnier thing is this. It's like, children will get murdered in the school, and they'll be like, guys, we gotta have guns. Like, we have to, though.

[B]

Yeah, we have to.

[A]

We gotta have guns.

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

And then a nigga will legally have a gun, get disarmed by ICE, and then get shot in the back of the head. And was like, well, why did this nigga have a gun? I'm like, bro, y' all niggas are wild. How y' all switch up?

[B]

Cause y' all said we was supposed. Y' all said we had.

[A]

I thought it was his.

[B]

Right, Right. I thought he had a permit and everything.

[A]

He did.

[B]

Right? That's what I'm saying.

[A]

Like, he's a nurse.

[B]

You can't ask why he had a gun. He.

[A]

A big part of his nursing was, like, taking care of veterans.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is American. This nigga is the most American nigga. That is. If that ain't symbolism, I don't know what is.

[B]

And they still don't care.

[A]

They don't care. Give a.

[B]

They. They bending over backwards to justify ICE killing that white man.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm like, damn, it's bad. We are cooked.

[A]

You know, the thing is, it was like I was having this thought. Like, damn, yo, I really looked up. I could have been born white. Like, I.

[B]

Is that you or me?

[A]

That's me. It's always me. This is my son. What's up, buddy? I'm in the midst of recording.

[B]

Not sponsored.

[A]

You say what?

[B]

I heard you're in New York City.

[A]

I am in New York City.

[B]

That's a long. That's a long way from Georgia.

[A]

It is.

[B]

It takes you, like, 30 hours to get there. It.

[A]

It took two hours on the plane. Takes 30 hours on the car, though. Yeah. I didn't drive, but there's no way I would be in New York if I left this morning. But I love you. I'm. I'm gonna finish work, and I'll call you when I'm done.

[B]

All right, Bud, can I ask you. Can I get on the PlayStation?

[A]

Sure. No shoes on my rug. And don't eat over there.

[B]

All right. Goodbye.

[A]

Bye. Or drink.

[B]

Like father, like son. Boy, let me get on that PlayStation. Daddy,

[A]

you drinking Kombucha?

[B]

I love that. Oh, yeah. You know, you not the only one with rich nigga habits.

[A]

You see what I'm saying?

[B]

This nigga ordered a matcha, y'.

[A]

All.

[B]

I said, whoa, the tax bracket has changed.

[A]

It was a good matcha. I'll say.

[B]

You know, I hate matcha, but it's.

[A]

What's your beef with it?

[B]

Tastes like grass to me. I'm one of those people.

[A]

I can see that.

[B]

You can see how it would taste like grass. Yeah, for sure. It kind of do. But you like it.

[A]

I fuck with it. Yeah.

[B]

Cause you Hollywood.

[A]

I'm beyond my rich niggas.

[B]

You have a sophisticated rich nigga palette now.

[A]

My palate is different.

[B]

You like, when I leave here, I

[A]

might go get some sushi.

[B]

You started eating medium steak.

[A]

I been doing that.

[B]

Oh, been doing that.

[A]

Okay. Been on that.

[B]

So.

[A]

But sushi is a new thing for me.

[B]

Really?

[A]

But I really fuck with it.

[B]

Not just fried, like, real raw.

[A]

Raw.

[B]

Okay. But I say. Cause n say that, and then they get everything. Tempura.

[A]

No, no, no, no.

[B]

California roll.

[A]

Hey, listen. The homie was like, you gotta fuck with it. I was on some nigga shit. Like, bro, I'm not eating a raw fish.

[B]

So good.

[A]

He was like, bruh, it's so good. You always be talking about, oh, I'll try new things. I was like, so you gonna use my shit against me? Cool, cool. I'll go with you to the sushi, nigga.

[B]

It's good.

[A]

That shit is cracking.

[B]

Now all of a sudden, you see. You get it, nigga. It is truly delicious.

[A]

I am one with the water.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I fuck with that shit.

[B]

I can be another one of them tunas, actually.

[A]

Yeah, actually. Actually, yellowfin.

[B]

Oh, yes. Delectable. Yum.

[A]

You guys have a nice sashimi period. You feel me, Rich nigga? Shit, yeah.

[B]

Got to.

[A]

I was watching this documentary on YouTube called Dirt, where this dude, this white dude, don't know this dude's name, but he's doing a great job of, like, global cuisine. And so he goes to this, like, very small island. It's like, the end. It's like the very bottom part of Japan. And, like, there's active volcano there, so it affects the water, and it just causes the tuna to be, like, fucking massive. Tuna.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Massive. They chopping that shit up out there.

[B]

I need that.

[A]

I need that shit.

[B]

I need that, nigga. What? When I seen that, I feel like that's the best.

[A]

I said, man, do I need that?

[B]

I feel like I do.

[A]

What? And then, like, fresh kill. Yeah, cut that Bitch, open. Started eating it right off the rip.

[B]

Nah, shut up.

[A]

They was like. They was like. It's like. They was like, this is as good as it's gonna get. What? It was like four to six hours out the water. Perfect. I said, oh, nigga.

[B]

So I gotta go to Japan, is what you saying.

[A]

And go south.

[B]

And go south there.

[A]

Yeah, I think you'll see the volcano. You'll be like, I'm in the damn. Yeah, the Japanese, they do some teams,

[B]

they do some good things.

[A]

They do some shit.

[B]

They've done some horrible things.

[A]

They've done some fucked up shit. They rebranded.

[B]

They would like you to forget that.

[A]

Yo, I'm gonna tell you something.

[B]

I said, what you mean? Japan is hello Kitty.

[A]

Hello Kitty. Kawaii hello Kitty Sushi fashion. Yeah, great transit system.

[B]

I said, don't think about all the things we used to do. World War II little. What are we talking about? What you mean, world War?

[A]

Ah, Pearl harbor was such a long time ago.

[B]

Pearl harbor who?

[A]

It was such a long time ago.

[B]

I don't even know her.

[A]

First of all, you guys gotta stop living in the past.

[B]

Never met nobody named Pearl.

[A]

Never.

[B]

You need to focus.

[A]

There's not even a word that translates to harbor in our language.

[B]

Focus on anime, focus on manga.

[A]

Lock in, nigga. Lock the fuck in.

[B]

We have all these fun, cute things.

[A]

Don't you like bape? You niggas like Funko Pops and shit like that?

[B]

I still wanna go to Japan, though.

[A]

Hmm.

[B]

I still wanna go.

[A]

Like, I'm going.

[B]

I fully want to visit.

[A]

I have my passport application sitting in my glove box right now.

[B]

You don't have a passport?

[A]

No, I've never had a reason to have one. I was a truck driver. I assumed that that's what I was gonna do the rest of my life until I just started.

[B]

You said, if the truck can't take me, I ain't got no business going. You did well, I mean, you on your rich nigga shit, so I just.

[A]

Yeah, I was just a working class man, you know what I'm saying? I was just thugging it ten months ago, and then I was like, like, oh, shit, time to lock in. These niggas fuck with me.

[B]

Yeah, they do.

[A]

Okay, copy. The Patreon's doing well. Yeah, fuck that job.

[B]

Hurry up and turn that application in for whichever department that is shuts down out of just pure ineptitude. Yeah, whatever Trump is doing up there.

[A]

Sorry, guys, we can't travel anymore.

[B]

Yeah, when they cut all international flights to and from America.

[A]

All right, man, you know, let's just hope. Nope. The American dollar translates the yen, you know?

[B]

I welcome whoever our new overlords will be. Shall it be the Japanese, the Chinese, the Russians, you know, who knows?

[A]

I'm gonna brush up on my Mandarin, you know what I'm saying?

[B]

We're gonna find out together.

[A]

Yeah, I don't wanna speak.

[B]

When niggas downloaded Red Note, they was like, we need to learn Mandarin anyway.

[A]

Oh, yeah. N was like this for a week. I hate black people. Let me tell you about it.

[B]

Why did we do that, bro?

[A]

Why did we do that, bro? N is already know. They was like, oh, my God, they so nice. Like, nigga, these niggas have a social credit score, right? They have to be nice.

[B]

They have rules over there about how you act online.

[A]

They not us, bro. They are not like complete fucking savages, bro. Because, like, this is the. Like, when you look at Red Note versus America, it's just like, oh, we're fucking savages.

[B]

Niggas got rules.

[A]

Because if you hop on. Hop your ass on TikTok right now and be like, hi, guys, I just moved to America and you know I'm fresh from there, they'd be like, shut up, nigga. Go back, like, immediately. That's the first comment. Don't let the memes start rolling in.

[B]

Oh, yeah, niggas is finna cook you.

[A]

We are, like, perpetuate.

[B]

Yeah. No, we're mean, rude as fuck.

[A]

We like. We are a country of alternative school kids.

[B]

It's like, we just gonna have to pull Billy right on out of traditional education. We're gonna have to take him right on out of that.

[A]

That can't go to school with regular people.

[B]

He can't go to that. To that standard. You have to come on over here to this street school.

[A]

Yeah. We are a country that does not apply themselves.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

That's was my whole thing growing up in school. Talks too much, doesn't apply. So smart kid. I mean, when he really focuses on the work. But it's like, Nigga, that is 25% of the time.

[B]

Well, saying that about a child just makes me think adhd. And we've covered how Amanda Seale's properly

[A]

diagnosed you, yo, first of all, I don't mean. How long was I talking to her before she just put a diagnosis?

[B]

I don't know you.

[A]

She said you're clearly neurodivergent. Yeah, you still slow. First of all, lady, I don't know you.

[B]

That does not stop being funny.

[A]

That shit is hilarious.

[B]

It is hilarious.

[A]

Yeah, it's like, oh, n. You're neurodivergent. Like, all right. Am I? I never wanted to diagnose myself because TikTok will make you diagnose yourself. But things line up. I mean, things were lining up. I mean, shout out.

[B]

Perhaps points were made, but, you know.

[A]

You know what I'm saying? Shout out to Amanda self. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Well, you say that and, I mean, I got the same thing. And I'm also adhd, but yeah. I mean, for children, it's not.

[A]

When I take an Adderall, I just feel. Feel amazing.

[B]

I'm like, I can't believe people abuse these. I feel normal when I take an out, bruh.

[A]

I feel like I can get anything done.

[B]

All of a sudden, I'm a regular person and I can just do things.

[A]

Yeah. I can do things without overthinking stupid shit.

[B]

Yes. Without it taking all of my energy. Like, all of a sudden, I'm just so much more productive and not even in, like, necessarily a work sense, but just, like, getting things done. Like, just getting up and moving around the house and getting shit done.

[A]

Yeah, I was so. It was like I was cleaning the kitchen. Let me just start there. And my old lady was chilling on the couch, and she was like, I just watched you take 90 minutes to clean the kitchen, and she said, you started running the dishwater. Then you realize the trash was full. So then. And you took the trash out on the way back. I don't know where the fuck you went. She said, you took the trash out. You didn't come back for 30 minutes. And then the water's still running.

[B]

Water still running.

[A]

So now it's not hot anymore. And then you come in here and you like, oh, well, the refrigerator needs to be cleaned out. So you start cleaning out the refrigerator. She's like, nigga, it took you 90 minutes.

[B]

K lock in.

[A]

She said, that ADHD shit is really. And you need to go talk to the dishes.

[B]

And it's beating your ass.

[A]

She said, it's whooping your ass. And she said, I could see it on your face. You just wanted to wash the dishes. Yeah.

[B]

But you couldn't.

[A]

I just couldn't do it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Because I decided to take the trash out through the garage. And there were things in that garage that needed tending to.

[B]

And of course, they took your attention immediately.

[A]

30 minutes, and I was like, oh, fuck, I'm supposed to be washing the dishes.

[B]

All of a sudden, in the faint background, it's like, if somebody. Is it a waterfall? What is going On.

[A]

And then that's just dad shit. Like, why is there water running? Oh, I got kids. It was me.

[B]

It was me.

[A]

Cause I'm supposed to be watching it.

[B]

Walk back in the. I actually did that yesterday. I was cleaning out the sink, let the water run to rinse out the sink, took the trash out, came back in feeding the dog. I walked back in the kitchen like 30, 45 minutes later. I said, bitch, you literally never. You never turned off the fucking water. Like, bro, this is a shame.

[A]

I know my fucking light bill company and water bill company is like, bro, thank God for this nigga. He's keeping us afloat.

[B]

You by yourself? Oh, my God. You taking care of households.

[A]

I mean, I'm feeding families.

[B]

Cause you. He said, leave all this shit on all day long, bro.

[A]

And then had the nerve to, like, realize it and be like, yo, need to start cutting these fucking lights off. And they like, dad, we been upstairs whole time.

[B]

It's.

[A]

It's you, you. It's you.

[B]

Mine is bad with the cabinets. Like, I go in the cabinet and get something and then leave that wide open and then come back later and be like, who left the cabinet? It was you.

[A]

I'm bad about putting back where it goes. Oh, yeah, I suck at that.

[B]

Yeah, I have to. If I don't force myself to do it immediately, it will not get done. I have to actively say to myself, close it and put it back right now. Just a.

[A]

Just a menial.

[B]

Like, you would talk to it a fucking three year old on me. Yes, it's bad, but like, s. Adhd

[A]

but if you wanna know, like, about, like, Arab contributions to, like, human civilization, we can get in that bag.

[B]

Oh, yeah, don't. Please don't ask me about some niche topic that I'm really into. Oh, nigga, why don't you settle in? Take off your boots, bruh.

[A]

How much time?

[B]

How much time do you have?

[A]

Fucking good.

[B]

Which empire would you like to start with, nigga?

[A]

Bruh, I'm all for, like, I have them. Like, bruh, I will hit niggas with the most random. They be like, where did you fucking learn this? And why?

[B]

I lock in on shit that is the opposite of what, man.

[A]

Bro, I know so much about octopuses, bro. Like, you know what I'm saying? And not only, like, will I never encounter an octopus, right? Cause I ain't fucking with the water like that.

[B]

Well, I love the water, actually.

[A]

I love the water, but, like, no. You dig what I'm saying?

[B]

Yeah, no, no, nothing doing all that.

[A]

Love the water.

[B]

If I have to have equipment to go down and see it, I'm not gonna see it.

[A]

I ain't good.

[B]

I'm not gonna see it.

[A]

I think the best I can do is a nice little scuba dive. Not scuba, but like, snorkel.

[B]

Okay, snorkel.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Scuba was advantageous once you gotta have a tank.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, nigga.

[B]

No, nigga.

[A]

Once I need artificial air, I am good. You won't catch deontay in space or the ocean.

[B]

And I'm not going down to one of them submarines neither. Since that Titanic shit.

[A]

Yes, I ain't.

[B]

When them billion. And now granted, they did like a diy.

[A]

Them niggas was tripping.

[B]

They really. That nigga. When I found out that nigga ordered the controller off of Amazon, I said, I feel like.

[A]

I feel like that was a very elongated suicide attempt.

[B]

You just really not supposed to be able to go down to like, the depths of the ocean with Matilda.

[A]

Why the fuck are billionaires so fucking

[B]

childish and cheapo talking about, I'm a

[A]

build a walking ship, bro. Take your bitch ass to a philanthropic class.

[B]

Colonize the this planet. You want to go colonize?

[A]

Yeah. This Eli must just look so uncomfortable in his body.

[B]

Yeah, well, cuz he hates himself.

[A]

Yeah. Deep down, do you know how much of a loser you got to be to not be on the child sex trafficking island?

[B]

They said now we do allow a lot of all kinds of perverts, but

[A]

even Stephen Hawking now don't do that.

[B]

You about to be. You about to be able to. You about to say something ableist. How I know it's coming?

[A]

They're not ableist.

[B]

Listen, we got something for everybody, but not Elon.

[A]

Yeah. Please keep that weird nigga over there.

[B]

That's. Yeah. For the perverts and pedophiles to be like.

[A]

For the worst niggas known to man to be like, you know what? Not you, not you, you fucking dork. You gotta go commit regular crimes on the big island.

[B]

And you know, that really hurt his feelings.

[A]

Oh, he was fucked up by that.

[B]

He can't believe it. All the other rich niggas, they won't

[A]

let me rape children. He's like, yeah, not raping with this guy.

[B]

All right, all right.

[A]

Rape is not funny. It's just in the context. It's really not in the context.

[B]

I mean, like, the wackest person to ever have.

[A]

That nigga sucks.

[B]

He really does.

[A]

Yeah. Fuck him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. A lot of. Okay, before we keep going through current and historical history, just this is all over the place. Yeah. Before we just keep timeline jumping, I am interested to know, like, what your beginnings are, like, how you even get into podcasting in the first place. And, like, I heard, like, you and Kid Fury didn't meet and y' all didn't know each other in person.

[B]

Yeah, we did.

[A]

Y' all did.

[B]

Yeah. So we.

[A]

I, for whatever reason, thought y' all met on Twitter.

[B]

Oh, met. Yes. I thought you meant when we did the podcast.

[A]

No, for sure, for sure.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, we did. We started following each other on Twitter. That's how we met.

[A]

Oh. Deezus and Mero type vibe.

[B]

We was following Desus and Mero back then, too. Like, we all used to. Did we do their show together or they did ours? Like, we all.

[A]

That's why. That's how I found out about you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. So. Because they shouted y' all out, like, all the time. I was an early Bodega Boys nigga.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Well, you know, we were so excited for them starting their show and everything. We don't have to. We don't have to revisit that. Please.

[A]

This is actually a very soft.

[B]

Yeah, I can tell you. You wanna talk about it?

[A]

No, I'm fucked up about it.

[B]

Cause last time we talked, when you brought it up then, too, it's like you. I'm hurt by it. In your spirit.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You wanna talk about it?

[A]

No, I don't. I just. There's just a similarity of y' all meeting on Twitter.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we was following each other on Twitter. And then I was in Atlanta one year for New Year's, and he was in Atlanta too. So we met up then. And then I moved to New York, and he had been talking about it, so I was like, you know, nigga, quit playing. Come on. Moved to New York. And he did a few months after I did. And then a few months after that, we started the reit.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Y' all just hit the ground running, too.

[B]

Truly. It was like within a couple of months, we was selling ads and I had never. I mean, you know, this is 13 years ago, so I had never even conceived that running my mouth on this podcast would mean a check. So that was really crazy to me. And for a while, you know, at first it was less than what I was making it worth, and then it was about the same. And then it started out paying my regular job, and I still stayed in my full time job for like two and a half years.

[A]

What was you doing at the time?

[B]

I was an executive assistant at mtv, so I loved my job.

[A]

That's a hard. That's fire.

[B]

I had, like, four different execs that I supported, and I love. I mean, I'm very, like, organizational. Very, like, type A Virgo type. So I really loved my job, and we got paid every week, so I was like, I'm not giving up for sure. Paycheck. Like, one thing about me and the niggas I come from, you ain't giving up no guaranteed money.

[A]

You don't give up for some fun

[B]

little shit you been doing on the side. Right.

[A]

That's not the nigga way.

[B]

Right. But once my job started getting in the way of me being able to go do other things, that's when it was like, okay, y' all don't even pay me more than this other job. Like, I think after two and a half years, I could really lock in and do this full time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And let that be that. But, yeah, you know, it's. I think it was a combination of the two of us just being very well suited for podcasts and also, you know, timing and a little bit of luck and whatever else. And so this show, we've been very, very fortunate to have the show be successful as it has been.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, y' all are like OGs in this space. For real.

[B]

Yeah. Every time I go do a show, somebody says that to me. They like, wow, you are really, like, the girl. I'm like, thank you.

[A]

Yeah. You are the like, well, I think so. The only reason, the selling point for Alex, for me, like, I didn't know who Alex was. I didn't know anything. I was new to this shit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I go do Mandy and Weezy shit. And Alex just walked in. She was like, yeah, I've been trying to reach out. I was like, okay, all right.

[B]

What's up? Here you are. Yeah.

[A]

And then she told me, and then she was like, yeah. And I managed to read. I was like, now we're fucking talking. This is somebody who knows exactly what the fuck they doing. Cause, like, podcasting is still fairly new as far as, like, a media outlet, but it's almost 20 years old.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, 2010 is, like, for it being really popular. I would say the incarnation of it is, like, around 2008 to 2010, really popular or, like, really taken off. It's, like, 2015, maybe.

[B]

I actually think they probably started in, like, the 90s or early 2000s, but that's how much we was not caring, was not listening. Yeah. I think probably.

[A]

Oh, you know what? You right. Because Marc Maron has had a podcast for a long time.

[B]

He just ended that show. But it was like the longest running

[A]

podcast in the world of songs. Yeah, for sure. That nigga. First of all, audio only. So what a fucking.

[B]

And so is the read.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It is a beautiful thing.

[A]

That is. And I was like, I've never seen these niggas. All I see is these animations of them. I don't know what these people look like.

[B]

It's so nice.

[A]

It is nice.

[B]

Podcasts were podcasts. I'm that old nigga.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Back in my day.

[A]

Yeah. The real. This is true podcasting, right? You don't show your face, you young

[B]

people in this bullshit y' all doing now. YouTube videos.

[A]

Yeah. Real anonymity, nigga.

[B]

Yeah. That was the whole point, you know it was.

[A]

Yeah. Because it's like, I only know your voice, so it's like I can't see you on the street and be like.

[B]

And that's nice.

[A]

That's very nice. Yeah. I got into it when it was like the visual component was extremely necessary to promote it, you know? So that was the only way that I knew to do it. I was like, if I don't have a visual aspect. Cause my first 12 episodes was audio. And I was like, this is nice. I really fuck with this, but how the fuck am I gonna promote it?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I have, like, this big following on TikTok.

[B]

I was like, you better cut that phone on.

[A]

I did one episode on the phone. Drained my stories.

[B]

You said, nah, let me go to get a.

[A]

We gotta go get.

[B]

Right?

[A]

We gotta go get our shit together. You know what I'm saying? So. Yeah, but. And originally you from where?

[B]

Oklahoma.

[A]

Oklahoma. Okay. Yeah, I was picking up on the accent. I didn't know where to place it.

[B]

Yes. Born in Louisiana, raised in Oklahoma. Moved to New York when I was 29. Oh, wait, I forgot. I'm supposed to be lying about my age now. I told myself I was gonna start doing that, so. No, I moved to New York when I was 19.

[A]

Let's just be honest. Cause you went back 10 years, which means you're 39.

[B]

No, right now. Right now. I was born in 1992, so I'm 33.

[A]

Got you. Heard you. So I'm actually older than you.

[B]

Oh, just by a little bit, though. Not by too much.

[A]

Crazy.

[B]

So in some ways, you're my og.

[A]

You know, I'm all for bullshit. You know what I'm saying? I'm a big fan of it. Yeah, let's do it.

[B]

I forgot. I told myself I was gonna start lying about how old I am. I'm not very committed to this lie.

[A]

Nah, you're not doing. You're not doing.

[B]

I'm not doing a great job.

[A]

You not killing it. I'm actually gonna be in Oklahoma this month.

[B]

Are you?

[A]

I'm going to Tulsa.

[B]

That's where I grew up.

[A]

Crazy. Where's Booker T. Shout out Booker T. Shout out nigga. Booker T. Washington. Shout out Booker T. Not the wrestler.

[B]

Not the. Is there a wrestler named Booker T. Oh, yeah. Shout out to that. Really?

[A]

First. Well, this is not his government name. Come on, guys.

[B]

I was about to say, y' all

[A]

named your child Booker T. That's kind of gangster. That's what I'm saying.

[B]

And he ended up a wrestler, and

[A]

I think his name is Booker T. In real. Got you. But he's one of the, like, greatest black wrestlers of all time.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Would have never known. Yeah, it's really not my thing.

[A]

Five time. That's for all the wrestling.

[B]

Yeah, they. They got it.

[A]

No, they felt it.

[B]

They knew what you was talking about immediately.

[A]

Damn. You never got into wrestling?

[B]

No, it always looked fake to me. And then they came out and was like, yeah, this shit fake. And I'm like, yeah, it. It look it. I mean, what you mean? You beating niggas over the head with folding chairs and shit. I'm supposed to believe. I'm not to going. That nigga not gonna get up and fucking smack you. What we supposed to believe this all fun and games?

[A]

Well, here's the thing. This is a adolescent soap opera. That's basically what it is. Storylines were immaculate. I still remember a lot of storylines. Yes. You gotta sell the show.

[B]

Right. But see. See how that's also fake?

[A]

Yes. I was never, like. I was never fucked up about it being fake.

[B]

You didn't care about that.

[A]

You can't throw a nigga off of the top of a cage through a table and he get up.

[B]

That's what I'm saying.

[A]

You know what I'm saying?

[B]

And we all acted like this is supposed to be for like. Come on.

[A]

It was the best. It was the best. It's like. It's like violent theater.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And there's storylines and there's characters and the characters developed. It's amazing. I love it. I got out of it once I started fucking. When I started fucking and doing drugs, wrestling just didn't live for me no more, you know?

[B]

You said it is a hobby for virgins.

[A]

We was doing a wrestling show the other day. Shout out to them Niggas, I hope y' all don't take this as offense. We, me and Big Cat, who is my co host, we was both like, yeah, we just started doing other shit.

[B]

We didn't.

[A]

We, like. I think we kind of looked at each other like, let's not say we was fucked up.

[B]

We're not gonna say we got lives and grew up.

[A]

Yeah. And like, hey, you know, I start smoking weed, I start drinking, start fucking bitches, you know?

[B]

Right.

[A]

I don't give a fuck about Randy Orton.

[B]

Kind of pales in comparison.

[A]

I actually don't want to watch a bunch of greased up niggas in panties, you know what I'm saying?

[B]

Who is the big thick Hawaiian nigga with a big thick ass? Ass. What was his name?

[A]

Oh, Rakesha.

[B]

Yeah, Rakesha.

[A]

The whole was just. I'm gonna put my ass in the face. Yeah, the whole thing, it was crazy. I said, yo, wrestling is wild. As is it.

[B]

And this is for boys.

[A]

This is the thing. Vince McMahon 100, went to Epstein Island. He just got.

[B]

He probably in them fouls.

[A]

He got caught up way before they like, well, we can leave him out. This nigga's dealing with his own.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

He was a freaky. Freaky. I believe that him and John McAfee. You know McAfee?

[B]

No.

[A]

John McAfee. So if you've ever had a computer.

[B]

I know McAfee. The brand.

[A]

That's him.

[B]

That's him.

[A]

Yeah. Yes. He created anti malware.

[B]

Like, Yeah, I know McAfee, but yeah,

[A]

he created and wrestling. No, no, no, no, no. This is just separate content. Oh, I'm like, we just talking about overly freaked out.

[B]

Okay. Oh, copy.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, so he created like Norton Antivirus. McAfee or whatever the case may be, became like a uber, uber rich nigga.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And would evidently go down to South America and do start purchasing little girls. He would do reprehensible things.

[B]

Reprehensible things.

[A]

I mean, terrible things. Yeah, there's a. Would you like to know one of the things?

[B]

Not really.

[A]

I'm gonna tell you anyway.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So there's a thing that he used to do where he would get a glass table and he would lay underneath the glass table and we had a girl just shit on the glass table. This is documented shit too. And he had a thing about like, I wanna. It's crazy.

[B]

Like, rotate your booty hole. So do a little swirly.

[A]

Well, I wanna see it come out. Like, I wanna see the shit from beginning to end. Yeah, he's a nasty nigga. But those hookers were paid well and, you know, I'm not sure. I do think, like, a lot of his. I think he was a. Of age.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Yeah, I think he liked adult women.

[B]

Well, you could pay adult women to do whatever, if that's your shit.

[A]

No. Yeah. I don't think these were. I don't think these were. Okay.

[B]

I thought you meant he had kids doing it.

[A]

No, no, no, no. I don't think. I don't think. I could be wrong. I could be wrong, but from what I recall, there was no pedophilia. It was just like. He was just a overly.

[B]

He was regular freaked out.

[A]

He was just a. Yeah.

[B]

As long as he ain't rape nobody.

[A]

You know what I'm saying?

[B]

As long as everybody is human and of age and consented, you can do

[A]

whatever the fuck you want to do. I'm not a big judgmental guy.

[B]

No. Cause I don't have to be part of it.

[A]

You know what I'm saying? It's none of my business.

[B]

That is your business.

[A]

When you get into the poop world, I'm telling you, I've never been there. Do you know that?

[B]

I'm never going.

[A]

I think a shit fetish is what kind of ruined Ice Spice's career. She just kept talking about shit and poop.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And farting.

[B]

Well, I mean, and so when that song, you Think youk the Shit, you're Not even a fart. I was like, I think I'm too old for this.

[A]

Like, oh, I knew I was.

[B]

This is so juvenile. What do you even mean?

[A]

Like, that's not even a great ball.

[B]

It sound like something middle schoolers say to each other. Like. Cause you just learned to cuss, so now you're just trying to cuss as much.

[A]

Now you just saying shit.

[B]

That's what. That's all.

[A]

My daughter cussed this morning. She's eight years old. I don't mind my kids cussing. I always tell them, like, yeah, language doesn't have to be taboo, but we also need to know better words. So if you know how to curse to express your feelings, I need you to know the equivalent of that in, like, academic speed.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

Good balance. So she missed a bus this morning, and it was because they had to take me to the airport. So it was like, the timing wasn't right. And she forgot to charge her phone. Cause she was gonna stand at the bus stop with her friends, but she forgot to charge her phone. And she was like, oh, well, I don't wanna stand out here if I can't call you. And I was like, okay, well, you just ride with me and Mommy to the airport and Mommy will drop you off at school. She was like, I wanna say a curse. I was like, let's hear it.

[B]

Go for it. Which one?

[A]

This is bullshit. I was like, it kind of is, you know, I mean, bullshit happens. Bullshit happens.

[B]

It does.

[A]

How was it growing up in Tulsa? Was there a lot of repressive. Was there a lot of conversations surrounding Tulsa Massacre?

[B]

Oh, yeah, absolutely. My whole family, you know, almost said lived through that. My grandma was a baby, but. But we from the north side of Tulsa, so it's just something that I always knew about. When n started coming to Tulsa to visit black Wall street and all that, I was like, what? Niggas is coming here for the anniversary of the race riot? Well, that's what we used to call it. I know they call it the massacre now, but we called it the race riot growing up. But, yeah, it was just something we just grew up knowing about it. Like how the Gap Band is named for different streets around that part of the north side. Tulsa, Greenwood, Apache and Pine. Yeah, so it was. It's kind of like that. It was like the Tulsa, you know, lore or whatever. So, yeah, always knew about it. And it was very much like the railroad tracks separate the races. The blacks is on this side. The whites is on the south side.

[A]

Oh, very.

[B]

The Latinos is on the east side. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's just how it was. I don't think. It's like more and more niggas is going to the south side now, so the white people are going further south.

[A]

Same thing is happening in Atlanta. Niggas are just literally pushing white people out.

[B]

Yeah. But the north side is getting gentrified. And that's crazy to me that white people, all of a sudden, especially the white people who want to live. Who want to live close to work because they work downtown. And downtown to north side is like 10, 15 minutes. So white people moving in is just like, what?

[A]

What are y' all doing?

[B]

The fuck are y' all doing over here? For real? Like, y' all legit. Not supposed to be over here. It's confusing.

[A]

But, you know, gentrification in and of itself is just weird. Yeah, go back.

[B]

Just.

[A]

You fucking up. Yeah, man. Once white people start walking, they dogs.

[B]

It's like, that's not your neighborhood no more.

[A]

It's over. It's over. White women jogging after 6 in the morning.

[B]

It's over.

[A]

There goes the neighborhood.

[B]

Yeah, my friend called me One day, like, it's a white man in my elevator, the rent is going up. And I said, oh, it is, sister. It absolutely is.

[A]

Yeah, man. You know?

[B]

Well,

[A]

I don't think they can see themselves.

[B]

I don't think they want to. They don't want to think about what they doing to these communities or what they have done. No, no, no. It's much easier to just say, well, what am I supposed to do? I need affordable rent, too.

[A]

There has to be a mayonnaise store.

[B]

There's gotta be.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You know why people move in when all of a sudden the grocery store stand stock start stocking different that y' all ain't never had before.

[A]

We ain't never had a rhubarb.

[B]

Right. Different flavors of oat milk creamer. You like. Yeah, I know what happened here. I know what happened. We got French yogurt in this now. Yeah, I know what this is. Cause you let niggas eat your play. Y' all let us eat that regular shit.

[A]

Yeah, I think the. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think Chobani might be the highest a go.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, and that's the classy. They be like, you, nigga. Cause you're gonna eat this fucking Chobani, and you gonna fucking love it.

[A]

You gonna love it. It's real fruit at the bottom. Enjoy that. How was it? How long did it take you to adjust? You know, I think people speak of New York as, like, an extremely mythical place, but being from the South.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How long did it take you to adjust to just, like, stark cultural difference?

[B]

Ooh, maybe a couple of years. When I first moved here, I used to tell everybody back home, you should have to have a passport to come to New York City, because it is not like the rest of America. This is not like any other city I have ever been to in this country. Like, it's. We got so many different kind of people. We got different languages. When I saw billboards in foreign languages, and it wasn't no English subtitles, It was just, if you don't speak this language, then fuck you. I was like, oh, what do you mean? Everything's not for me. I went to Chinatown and shit was literally in Chinese or was like,

[A]

you mean a pork?

[B]

Yes. And, you know, Oklahoma. I do say, I'd rather be poor.

[A]

Oklahoma just has a. Just a name.

[B]

Yeah, it does sound like, not a lot good. Not a lot good happening here.

[A]

Well, just. You can take your time.

[B]

Tumbleweeds, you know, you can just take your time. The wind comes sweeping down the planes. Yeah. I mean, it is. But you know, being poor in Oklahoma, really, it's like if you don't have a car in most parts of the country, you're fucked. Like you simply. There's no other way for you to get around. Do the things you need to do without spending hell of money.

[A]

In the south, walking is an indication that you are rock bottom. You are really not doing.

[B]

Your life has never been worse. Actually.

[A]

Shit is, shit is headed downhill.

[B]

Your things are looking. Yeah, yeah. When I first moved here, my legs were sore for like three or four months. Cause you just do so much walking here that you never.

[A]

If you see a nigga walk, first

[B]

of all, so true.

[A]

You know you can't have a ride. Second of all, why are you walking, nigga? Yeah, why are you walking?

[B]

Yeah, you just don't do that.

[A]

The worst parts of my life is when I was walking.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cause why there's no sidewalks.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This city wasn't made for walking. This shit was made for car travel. Shout out to Henry Ford all of them. For ruining all the cities America.

[B]

But yeah, New York is very much not like that.

[A]

You know, it's a real mess.

[B]

Easy to thrive here. A car will get in your way in a lot of ways actually. Yes, yes, a car is a burden. Cause most people don't have their own dedicated parking spot and so you gotta deal with street parking and alternate side and all this shit.

[A]

Yeah, if I lived here, I wouldn't have have a car. No, I mean when I try, when I visit here though, I definitely get a car. Cuz the ride share is just. I don't.

[B]

I love Ubering in New York.

[A]

I don't know enough about the. I'm not trying to figure out the subway system. Even though I know it's a very efficient way to drive.

[B]

Very easy. Well, it takes some time. It took me a few months to really.

[A]

So I'm saying I. I'm here for three days. I don't got time for that.

[B]

But you can just put in the address and like Google Maps. Google Maps will tell you which.

[A]

Yeah, I'm good. I don't want to be looking at my phone.

[B]

Well, you don't have to stare at it the whole time. You say, okay, I take the 2 to 14th street and then I transfer the L to whatever.

[A]

See, this is our language, okay?

[B]

You don't want to know the train and you rich, so you don't have to know the train. So you know, you, you. But you rent a car. Yeah, yuck.

[A]

Okay, think about that.

[B]

You want to drive In New York City.

[A]

I don't give a fuck. Because here's the thing. Here's the thing, here's the thing. Rideshare is gonna run me about $1,000

[B]

for three days because you take it every fucking day.

[A]

I move around, I'm not sitting still, I'm moving around.

[B]

But where are you parking?

[A]

You know, again, shout out to Alex, you know, park whiz. It'll put you on. Okay, parking pass for a few days.

[B]

I just can't imagine the cost of renting plus insurance and gas and parking

[A]

like $330 all swear to God.

[B]

All together.

[A]

All together, huh? And I got a parking pad.

[B]

I mean, but you have to drive.

[A]

I got. Well, I don't mind driving.

[B]

I don't want to drive.

[A]

I'm from the south, so it's like that's all I do anyway.

[B]

Yeah, you live here long enough that desire to drive will escape your.

[A]

I'mma tell you, I already have met 100%. If I lived here, I wouldn't drive.

[B]

Yeah, no, no, no. Especially cuz if I'm going after out, I'm trying to have some drinks, I'm trying to smoke. I do not want to think about being responsible. After that, I'm jumping in the car on the train and I'm going home.

[A]

That's the thing, man.

[B]

I can't be buzzed driving around this city. No, fuck no, no, fuck no. You'll hit somebody so fast. Listen, I wouldn't play those games.

[A]

If you are driving, you have to be locked the fuck in. Ain't no putting on your. Ain't no phone, ain't no texting and driving. Yeah, lock the fuck in.

[B]

Ain't no Right on Red up here. Ain't no Right on Red.

[A]

Every guy goddamn mild. It's different rules.

[B]

That's true. And it's jaywalkers everywhere. So you can disagree.

[A]

And especially right now with the snow.

[B]

Oh, and it's disgusting.

[A]

You're basically. They take up. The snow is gonna take up half of a lane that you can't use anymore now.

[B]

Yep, yep, exactly.

[A]

And then people are parked and they're snowed into the parking spaces. It's like, oh, this is real bullshit. Yeah, but so I wouldn't. Yeah, but they're visiting. I can deal with it.

[B]

You better than me. I love me an Uber, but I also love the train. And I get on the train all time. The.

[A]

Yeah, the train seems legit.

[B]

Well, it's $3. Nobody else is gonna take you anywhere in the city for $3.

[A]

Never.

[B]

No Uber won't even look at you.

[A]

And honestly, it's gonna take the same

[B]

amount of time it usually does. Or when the train is faster, you'll be like, yeah, I have to. I have to take the train.

[A]

At this. I did, like, a comparison, and it was like, okay, whether I get in an Uber or whether I get on the train, it's gonna take me 45 minutes to get there. The Uber is 80 bucks, right?

[B]

I'm getting on that fucking train.

[A]

$3, brother.

[B]

I'm getting on the train.

[A]

Let me tell you what I'm finna do.

[B]

And I'm taking some edibles right before I get on that train. Then they kick in during. Oh, I'm a big weed head.

[A]

But, yeah. Because most people say inedible.

[B]

Well, it depends on how strong they are.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And what I'm going out to do and how fucked up I wanna be when I get there.

[A]

I'm increasingly meeting a lot more women who are edible dependent.

[B]

Yeah, well, I quit smoking. Cause it really had an effect of, like, the way I sounded on the mic. I was constantly coughing and shit. So I quit smoking for that reason. And it seemed to help. But, I mean, you know, I smoke every now and then, but just not. I used to. Baby, when I tell you I used to be smoking weed all day, every fucking day.

[A]

Believe that.

[B]

Yeah, believe that.

[A]

Yeah. I'm not a weed guy. I can't. This podcast would end.

[B]

You already have trouble staying focused. You do not need to be in the class.

[A]

No, but the weed is gon. It's gonna render me mute. Oh, I'm not gonna say any of those. I'm one of those. Like, what do I do with my hands?

[B]

Got you. Okay. A lot of people think it gives me anxiety. For me, being high will make them funnier. And it's like. It really don't. It really don't.

[A]

Guys, here's the thing about humor. You're either funny or you're not. Well, and also, like, there's that. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So weed ain't gonna make it make you funny.

[B]

Maybe. But also, this is gonna make you

[A]

laugh at stupid things.

[B]

You find things funnier when you're high, but you're not funnier when you're high. You really are not, nigga. In fact, you're slower and you say things in a more stupid way.

[A]

You don't hear yourself and you don't realize it.

[B]

And then you go back and listen to yourself. You're like, wow, this is actually garbage.

[A]

Yeah, it took you like, 10 minutes to get through one coherent sentence. Good. We good on that? We don't need that in our lives.

[B]

Yeah, we don't.

[A]

How has things been been translating over to a solo show with Crystal's couch? And now you are on camera.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're making appearances and you're here.

[B]

Yeah. Well, it was really since the pandemic where I stopped doing stuff on camera because it was like, I'm not going outside. Fuck y'. All. But, you know, I was. I did Uncommon Sense with Charlamagne and we had, you know, the re was on TV and all this, so I was used to camera studio, you know, all that. I just give you a heads up. Okay. Okay.

[A]

Are you good or you want a little more time? Fifteen minutes. You got.

[B]

Thank you. So, yeah, I.

[A]

God damn. We could really do a three hour pod.

[B]

Easy yapping, bro.

[A]

We could easily go three hours. Like, that is no problem. No, this is good.

[B]

But yeah, it's been. It's been challenging, so that's good. It's giving me something new to do. This is really like my passion project. I really care a lot about, you know, like you with the octopuses. I really care a lot about, like, mental health and the science behind it. Like, I really did love being in school for that shit. Like, was like, oh, this is why, you know, this is the reason to go to school. Cause you passionate about something, you want to learn more about it. It was like school was so easy for me. Once I knew why I was there and wanted to be there, it was like, this is very easy. I don't know why shit was holding me back before because I didn't give a shit.

[A]

I'm 100% going to school when I'm done with this.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Oh, I mean, the reed paid for my. My master's degree, so.

[A]

Shout out to. Shout out to the reed. Shout out to read the Reed and who read.

[B]

Yeah, somebody said, why would you take out a loan to get a master's degree if you wasn't gonna use it? I'm say, who told you I took out a loan? I paid that in full every month because I am very successful in my. In my. A full time regular degular job. So. But it's been. So, yeah, it's been challenging to do something new, to figure it out, you know, without this person here. Even my other podcasts that I've done before, like the Insecure Recap podcast with Fran, I've always had somebody else there, so. So solo is just like, so solo. And it like, this is my shit. And, like, from the concept and then we building it up and, you know, you work with people, but it's like, this is really my baby. So.

[A]

So it's nice.

[B]

It's been. Yeah, I. I just care so much about it, and it's been fun to talk to different people and to, like, the goal was to actually try to help niggas and sort of bridge the gap between the everyday person and therapy because it can be so inaccessible. And that was one of the main things I learned in school was just, like, how many barriers there are for most people to getting the help they need. So, yeah, it's been. It's been fun to do. You know, it's still just a few months in, but. But I'm excited about it.

[A]

Well, you hit the ground running. And also, as somebody who, like, when you do podcasts, you can't really watch podcasts. It becomes, you know, I used to watch podcasts all the time to, like, literally never watch podcasts.

[B]

I really don't get the appeal, but. But my friend is like, you know, I cut you on. I put you on YouTube on the TV, and then I'm doing stuff around the house.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so I'm mostly listening, but I get to look up and see you. So I like that.

[A]

I'm like, you know, that's hard.

[B]

Whatever you like.

[A]

Well, I was saying that to say, like, just specific guests you had on there. I'm just like, really? I really just get locked into the convo.

[B]

I fuck with it.

[A]

And then, you know, you've been increasingly become one of my favorite people.

[B]

Oh, thank you. That's so kind.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

Yeah. You know, you were recommended to me. You know, Alex was pitching different people to come on the show. I said, deontay Cal grinted. I think I've heard of that. Let me look it up. And I said, oh, yeah, this the nigga. I said, seen his tiktoks? I said, yeah, I do fuck with that nigga's tiktoks. Let me sit down and talk to him. You are very. You know, it just felt like a very easy conversation from the get go. Again, I think our politics are very closely aligned.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Extremely closely aligned. So it's been fun talking to people like you that I probably wouldn't have had the opportunity to really sit down with in depth before. It's definitely one of the best TikTok

[A]

has done, like, wonders for. Of connecting, like, brilliant people.

[B]

It really has.

[A]

Like, me and this guy, Joshua Doss, we're gonna do A podcast. Not gonna do a podcast. But he's being a guest. And he's by far one of the more interesting people that I've met on TikTok. Just because of not only how smart he is, but how it translates to real world things. He be on CNN cleaning niggas up.

[B]

Love that.

[A]

Really? Making white people look insane.

[B]

Love that.

[A]

And they be so mad. Cause it's like, you can't out think the nigga, but you also can't fluster them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know. You know what? I wanna say this before we go. Anti blackness had us thinking Omarosa was a villain.

[B]

Mm. Well, she did.

[A]

I mean, I go back and look

[B]

at you mean on, like, TV or in the White House?

[A]

No, no. Fuck, No. I'm just saying. I'm just saying.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

There's an assumption. I'm really thinking about this one clip specifically where I was like, rusta might not be too bad. Where she's probably a terrible person. But. Yeah, it's just. It's just I don't feel like I ever gave her the benefit of the doubt. Well, because she was on this one show, and the lady was, like, trying to keep rushing her through questions. She was like. Like, hey, relax. I'm gonna be here. I'm gonna answer your questions. I was like, damn, I like this. I like this dynamic. Nah, she's definitely like, a Trumper, but.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know, but she may have backed

[B]

away from that in recent. I really don't keep up with her.

[A]

I don't know. I don't either. I just. I don't know what made me think of Omarosa.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is the brain that I have to learn.

[B]

Candace Owens is the new Omarosa. I know. I don't. She.

[A]

It's getting weird over there. That's 2.0.

[B]

They killed her white man. And she is.

[A]

Yo, son.

[B]

Crashing out. She can't believe y' all took away her side piece.

[A]

Listen, my. You killed her work.

[B]

Devastating, right? Y' all killed her work husband, baby.

[A]

Killed this bitch. Work husband.

[B]

And that Erica celebrated. She was in on it. She knew the whole time. She knew the whole time. That too happy. What? She two weeks old.

[A]

I've never seen a bitch with deader eyes.

[B]

I don't like to police nobody's grief, but that bitch not grief.

[A]

Oh, no, no. That's not grief.

[B]

She not grief.

[A]

That's celebration, right? That's celebration.

[B]

You think this bitch is one of the worst. Insurance has paid out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This Turning Point USA shit.

[A]

We finna drive this shit into the

[B]

ground into the ground.

[A]

The real Trump way.

[B]

Make sure you unload them merch trucks at the funeral.

[A]

Yeah,

[B]

she's a mess.

[A]

She is, y'. All. Yeah.

[B]

Candace Owens not having it, though. Y' all took away her, man.

[A]

She's. First of all, Candace spilling it. First of all, people don't like when I talk about shit like this. But here's the thing. I fuck Candace Owens until she open her mouth. Then it's like, oh, bitch, you racist.

[B]

You are such a man.

[A]

I am.

[B]

You know, you are such a man.

[A]

I am, though. But it's like. Cause I. Cause a part of me.

[B]

I can't help it.

[A]

A part of me kind of feel like. Like I could. I had that bitch woke and then it's like, no, you was fucking. You was fucking Charlie Kirkhoe. Yeah, I can't do nothing with you. I'm not going where that pink meek man.

[B]

Well, don't she have a white husband in real life? Like, for real?

[A]

Who knows, man? Who gives a fuck, man? I'm really just talking shit at this point. You know who else? Black woman, Tiffany Pollard.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I love New York.

[B]

New York. She's a mess.

[A]

She's a fucking mess.

[B]

She's really quite.

[A]

It's a. There's an archetype. Yeah, this is where I'm getting you.

[B]

But you really. You heavy in the reality tv, though.

[A]

I'm a TV nigga, son. I used to really fuck with tv. Like, TV was my shit.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You know what I'm saying? I used to get in trouble a lot. So my parents was like, demons. Most like, we can take the PlayStation. He ain't going to give a. If we tell a. He can't go outside and socialize. That don't really teach him. But I was just like, oh, bitch, I'll turn on this tv.

[B]

So you could turn on the TV when you was on punishment.

[A]

I could watch tv.

[B]

I'm not. I'm not. Okay.

[A]

Yeah, it would be like, no.

[B]

I mean, yeah.

[A]

You know, it would be like no TV for two days and then. But see, I'm also annoying. This is the thing that I figured out. My mom would virtually do anything to get me out of her face.

[B]

She said, you know what?

[A]

I'm gonna start asking a lot of questions. And my mom be like, you know what? You can watch tv.

[B]

That's like the parents now with them iPads. They be like, you know what?

[A]

Yeah, my mama iPad me up. She's like, first of all, I don't know the answers to half this shit. I Don't know. Know what you're talking about. I used to ask her about the war in Iraq, and she was like. I was like, so why did they like. I understand it was a terrorist attack, but why?

[B]

And why Iraq? Yeah, that was my question as well. When it happened, and it's like.

[A]

And it was like, should we really be going to war? I'm asking her questions. Yeah. And she'd be like, go watch tv. I'm like, I can watch tv. And I get to the room like, mission.

[B]

So you was being annoying on purpose.

[A]

Hell, yeah. I know how to turn it up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I want something.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

You know what I'm saying?

[B]

You can't kick me out the house.

[A]

You can't kick me out the house. I'm only 11.

[B]

But you really need me out your face right now.

[A]

You do need me to leave desperately.

[B]

That's not for tv. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, man, listen. I used to get sick with it. Like, oh, I'm in trouble. Let me write my mom a letter. Write her a letter, three page letter, just explaining to her how I understand what the actions, like, what got me in trouble, why I'm in trouble, what I'm gonna do to improve on it. I was a strong writer. I love writing. Wow. So it was just like, I'm gonna use my gifts to get on her nerves. I would give her the letter and she'd be like, okay, I'll read it in a minute. I'd be like, no, I need you to read it now. Can you please read it right now?

[B]

And this letter accomplished what tv?

[A]

She's like, look, this

[B]

nigga just go cut it off. My God. Oh, my God.

[A]

And then I'll be like, mom, you know, it's Monday and wrestling comes on tonight. And I know that I got in trouble. I know I'm an isis. Do you really have to watch wrestling? Like, if I don't watch wrestling, I don't know what I'm gonna do with myself. And she's like, you don't get out of my face. I'm gonna whoop your ass. I'm just like, all right, I'll be back in 10 minutes, right? I'm gonna give you some time.

[B]

Come on. But I'm gonna wear you down.

[A]

I'm gonna wear. I'm gonna win. I know you and dad aren't doing too well right now. I'm gonna start asking questions about that. That. So why hasn't dad been home for two days? She like, you know what? Just go watch. Just go watch tv.

[B]

The. The WWF or Whatever it was.

[A]

Whatever.

[B]

Go watch that.

[A]

Go watch them.

[B]

Yeah. Asking me questions about your daddy. I am not going to answer.

[A]

Get out my face. But you know what's so funny? My middle son does that. He wears me down, kids. Yeah.

[B]

Is that the one who just called about the PlayStation?

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

That's what I'm saying.

[A]

He will wear me down.

[B]

He want to get on that PlayStation bed.

[A]

He be like. Like, he'll just come in my room and stare at me. I'm like, what the fuck do you want? Like, just like that. Cause I know it's bullshit. Like, what do you want? Nothing. I was just seeing what you was doing. Why? Also, like, seeing what I'm doing is walking in my room and seeing me laying in bed watching tv. What else you need to see, nigga?

[B]

I wanna hang out with you, dad. Aw, see, that's fucked up.

[A]

This nigga doesn't mean it. My daughter. If she said, let's watch a movie, she mean it. If my son say, let's hang out, there's a motive. Yeah, he's a. He's a. I'm a chill for five minutes. He'd be like, actually, I did come to ask you a question.

[B]

You be like, you little scammer. What do you want, nigga?

[A]

Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes to get you the fuck out. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Cause he was gonna take us.

[A]

Cause you don't want to. You don't want to be told him not to bro on 100%. He's the only person I will have to remind daily. And he still.

[B]

Oh, he still might. They gonna clean it up before you get home. You'll never know.

[A]

Not him. That's another thing about him. He'll leave evidence at the scene of the crime.

[B]

He's like, wait, he's eight.

[A]

He's 12.

[B]

He's 12. Oh, okay. Well, this is peak. That's peak age for cutting up like that.

[A]

What you mean he will leave evidence?

[B]

Oh, yeah, he's going crazy.

[A]

He not. He not. Whatever he was doing. He's trying to cook for himself. He wants to be more independent. We cool. I support that. Just a mess everywhere.

[B]

Oh, you do have to clean up.

[A]

I'm like, yeah, part of cooking is like, cleaning as you go, not leaving it looking like a goddamn like, what are you doing?

[B]

Cannot.

[A]

I was like, get downstairs and clean the kitchen. And then he. He weaponize incompetence. He'll just act like he doesn't know how to do anything. He be like, what do you mean, dad? Where do dishes go, where'd you get it from, nigga? Where'd you get it from?

[B]

Why don't you take a look around this kitchen and tell me where you

[A]

think the dishes go? Listen, I'm gonna tell you something. The anger that rises in my body, I can imagine when I know somebody knows what to do and they're not doing. Oh, I be like, just get.

[B]

The patience just evaporates.

[A]

Oh, it's gone immediately. I'm like, hey, how about this? How about you get the fuck out of here? I'm gonna do you a favor and me. Yeah, the fuck out.

[B]

Dad. Where do the forks go?

[A]

I'm getting mad just thinking about it. Honestly. It is honestly gripping the fucking chair. It is. Honestly, it is something he.

[B]

Yeah. Just to piss you off.

[A]

Yeah, I know. And I was like, damn, I used to do this to my parents.

[B]

I was about to say, you ever look at him? Like, damn, this was me.

[A]

Yes. All the time. And here's the thing. Even with that knowledge, still can't control.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Still, he just gets. He just. He'll get me going.

[B]

Well, I mean, he's a kid. That is kind of what they do.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Yeah. They said wrap that shit up.

[A]

All right, well, they're ready for us to wrap it up. So, Crystal, thanks for having me.

[B]

Thank you so much for having me on. Grits and eggs. Thank you to.

[A]

Where's your camera? I guess anything you want to plug?

[B]

Yeah. You know, the Reed and Chrysalis couch come out every week. This is the read.comchrysaliscouch.com for all episodes and. Yeah. Patreon.com ChrystalCouch join me over there. We're having a good time, but, yeah, it's been an honor to be on your show. This is.

[A]

This was great.

[B]

Again, we just start yapp. We literally just sit down and start yapping like, I guess they recorded all that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But thank you, brother. Thank you. It's been my pleasure.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

Cool.

[A]

Yeah,

[B]

you young people and the way y' all do these shows.

[A]

Rap. I just want to rap. I just want to rap. Yeah. They say without the proper labor Faith don't stand a chance I put my faith in Satan's and on fertile land I planted seeds Adeline de Turn into

[B]

trees before rest in peace Teas get printed to me.