Episode 157 - AJ McQueen

Summary

Grits and Eggs Podcast

Host: Deante’ Kyle
Guest: AJ McQueen
Episode: 157
Date: June 27, 2026

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Overview

In this rich, unfiltered conversation, Deante’ Kyle sits down with Houston artist, activist, entrepreneur, and storyteller AJ McQueen. The two explore the evolution of Black manhood, intergenerational wisdom, healing generational traumas, the meaning of real community, and the challenge of living with purpose amid distractions, trauma, and expectations. The dialogue weaves through personal stories of violence, faith, family, struggle, and transformation—offering rare vulnerability and hard-earned insight on authenticity, legacy, and the real labor of change.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Universal Appeal and Honoring Elders

• AJ shares his intent to make music and create spaces that resonate across generations, breaking the youth-centric mold of hip hop.
  • AJ McQueen: “You hit the elder, you hit the kid teenager. That—that's cold.” (05:20)
  • At his shows, elders are prioritized: “Priority seating. Who got wheelchairs?...My show in St. Louis…we gonna make a whole…hey, they good...as an artist. We gonna prioritize elders, you know what I mean?” (15:19-16:43)
• Hosts and guests reflect on seeing elders at shows as a sign of real impact beyond trends or demographics.
  • Deante’: “If the elders is gravitating to it, man, you’re doing something right, bro.” (04:55)

2. Breaking Cycles: Trauma, Family, and Healing

• Both men discuss the generational cycle of trauma, particularly as it relates to military service, systemic racism, and the experience of Black men.
  • AJ’s father, a military man, urged him never to enlist; witnessing VA hospital neglect was formative.
    • “I really want to pass some bills for the veterans, bro. I hate the way they treat it…” (12:06)
  • Deante’ shares his family’s military involvement and personal resistance: “I actually chose to go to jail over going to the Army… I’m not going to the military.” (13:12)
• Both stress the importance of honoring parents and healing, even if the relationships were strained or traumatic.
  • AJ McQueen: “When I made that decision, it wasn’t ‘cause she earned it… It’s honor. Honor’s a principle, bro.” (18:18-20:55)

3. Radical Authenticity and Personal Evolution

• AJ reflects on living out “the things we couldn’t choose,” accepting every part of himself (race, background, physicality), and how self-acceptance is the key to love and growth.
  • AJ McQueen: “There’s power and mystery and messages woven in the things that we couldn’t choose… all of the treasures are woven in the box of the things you couldn’t pick.” (27:46-28:46)
  • “Go to that mirror and accept your height and your dick size.” (29:39)
  • “How you gonna walk in divinity, how you gonna walk in power, if you feel like there's a lack of something?” (30:04)
• The conversation gets real about the dangers of seeking validation, comparing yourself to others, and the addictive patterns that spring from that.
  • Phone use and doomscrolling as modern distractions; the need to “opt out” and return to intention. (39:19-43:19)

4. Solitude, Reclusion, and Self-Care

• AJ distinguishes loneliness from solitude, championing intentional solitude for self-restoration.
  • “Loneliness is the sorrow of being alone, while solitude is the glory of being alone.” (33:46-34:01)
  • Rituals for restoration include journaling, cold plunging, and clean eating.
• Both reflect on feeling isolated as independent creators but also on the necessity and power of forging their own path.
• Quote: “God ain’t using who we pretending to be… I’ma be exactly who I am. And boy, God don’t even acknowledge the person you pretend...” (107:22-107:25)

5. Responsibility & Growth

• They discuss the difference between doing things for ego versus principle—and how responsibility shapes one’s manhood, especially as a Black father, husband, and leader.
  • “If I don’t pay him, who gonna pay him?...I do all this to get on that stage…but just, I don’t know…I don’t know what I’m impacting on this side of that.” (102:39-103:10)
• Both reflect on personal evolution: breaking from addiction, embracing “the death” of old selves, and sacrificing comfort/pleasure for legacy and higher purpose.
  • AJ’s transformative sweat lodge experience symbolizes burning away “excuses” and releasing trauma: “I died. And it’s three rounds of that, 45 minutes a piece...My ego died. And everything I was holding onto for years, as soon as I got out, I went to my phone. I deleted everything.” (85:47-87:21)

6. Purpose Over Perfection / Movement Over Image

• They expose the illusion of perfection, especially in an era where public figures are expected to present flawlessly.
  • AJ McQueen: “Let’s assume that everybody’s human. Then what do we do next?” (110:59)
  • “The thing that I’m really learning…It’s a fight to feel perfect… But if you release perfection…once you admit, like, I’m flawed too…then you give permission for everybody else to do the same.” (110:17-110:51)
• Legacy, not popularity, is the goal: true movements require “demonstration.”
  • “Movements require action…The elders come because of the action, the demonstration…The Fred's, the Garveys, the Malcolm. You can talk all you want to talk. What’s your demonstration like, bro?” (108:54-109:22)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments (With Timestamps)

• On Elder Respect:
  “They been our age—we ain't never been there. …When you get the kids, you a hit; you a hit the elder.” - AJ McQueen (05:14, 05:20)
• On Genre Expectations:
  “You actually, though. I mean, it's like you the antithesis of what this genre is or what they tell you it is. It's supposed to be for young people, but you got the people that...spiritually, these folks closer to the other side. So if they gravitating to your words, it's like.... that shit really go without saying about who you is.” - Interviewer (16:43)
• On Acceptance:
  “I was living out a suitcase that somebody else packed....Once I unpack and I repack, I say, damn, I need to go inward...I can trace the [past] three years back to the moment where I....Acceptance, ownership, forgiveness...” – AJ McQueen (27:46-28:46)
• On Responsibility:
  “How you gonna walk in divinity? How you gonna walk in power if you feel like there’s a lack of something, man? I got everything I need, bro. And whatever I don’t have, I’m okay with that too.” - AJ McQueen (30:04)
• On Solitude vs. Loneliness:
  “Loneliness is the sorrow of being alone, while solitude is the glory of being alone...when you in solitude, you really in your glory.” - AJ McQueen (34:01)
• On Growth & Letting Go:
  “I was holding on to stuff that I ain’t need to…As soon as I let that go, my everything started to change, bro.” - AJ McQueen, on sweat lodge experience (85:47-87:21)
• On Comparison & Demonstration:
  “You can talk all you want to talk. What’s your demonstration like, bro?” - AJ McQueen (109:22)
• On Relinquishing Perfection/Humanity:
  “Let’s assume that everybody’s human. Then what do we do next?” - AJ McQueen (110:59)

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Notable Segment Timestamps

• [04:18–07:53] — Discussion of music’s audience, why elders gravitating to AJ’s work matters deeply, and the unexpected resonance across age groups.
• [12:06–16:43] — Military family history, failure of veteran care, and the spiritual/cultural imperative to honor elders.
• [27:26–30:39] — Accepting what cannot be changed, self-acceptance especially in Black masculinity, and moving past destructive validation-seeking.
• [33:46–37:15] — Loneliness vs. solitude, self-care rituals for Black men, and finding value in intentional inward reflection.
• [39:19–44:02] — Doomscrolling, technology’s hijack of dopamine and intuition, and the perils of “outsourcing intuition.”
• [57:11–63:19] — AJ and Deante’ share turning points: being shot as teens, facing mortality, family separation, and how pain catalyzes new purpose.
• [85:47–87:21] — AJ’s sweat lodge story: spiritual death, ego dissolution, and the necessity of letting go to truly become the person called to lead.
• [110:17–110:59] — Conversation on releasing the burden of perfection, fostering collective humanity.
• [108:54–109:22] — “Demonstration” as the real evidence of legacy and movement.

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Tone & Style

• The conversation is deeply vulnerable, unapologetically Black, and rooted in lived experience as much as philosophy.
• Both men keep it raw, unscripted, and relatable—elevating spiritual ideas without pretension.
• The mood often swings from laughter to near-tears, showing honesty about pain, healing, accountability, and the messy realities behind public success.

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Conclusion

This episode is a masterclass in authenticity, legacy, and self-work. AJ McQueen and Deante’ Kyle model what it looks like to process hurt, break destructive cycles, tend to those behind and ahead—and do it all without abandoning the truth of lived Blackness. If you’re seeking Black wisdom that goes way past hashtags and highlight reels, this is an episode to play, reflect on, and share.

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Transcript

[Host]

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Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services for MyPay and Chime card provided by Chime's bank partners. Optional products and services may have fees or charges, stated annual percentage yield and cash back for Chime prime only. No minimum balance required. Checking account ranking based on the J.D. power survey published October 20, 2025. For more information on APY rates, my pay, Spot Me and travel Perks, go to Chime.com disclosures Hey, I just Venmo'd you for rent.

[AJ McQueen]

Nice.

[Interviewer/Guest]

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[AJ McQueen]

I'm checking out online with Venmo or using a Venmo debit card.

[Interviewer/Guest]

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[Host]

Exactly.

[AJ McQueen]

Because the more you do with Venmo, the more you get.

[Host]

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[AJ McQueen]

with Venmo Stash on a bundle of brands. So order more pizza.

[Host]

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[AJ McQueen]

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[Host]

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[AJ McQueen]

Checkout not available at All Merchants Venmo

[Host]

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[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

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[Interviewer/Guest]

Yay. Woke up in the morning and to God be the glory Thankful for another day to tell my story Put my opinions in the universe and let them orbit I'm from the dirty south with a dirty mouth my knee orbit miss things things on me like a nigga Norbit had to Refuse them cause my bitch no rest Fusion she gorge as I dab my sons up and kiss my daughter forehead Tell em we gon get this money till my pockets morbid Remember living in apartments now we playing

[AJ McQueen]

mortgage they ain't gonna be here that long, bro. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's my team. We prioritize the elders, bro. Early show.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I never. I've never seen that. Honestly, I think a lot of times music is this thing where people want to appeal to younger people. Yeah, but you speak a universal language. You speak with a lot of wisdom, gratitude, bro. So if the elders is gravitating to it, man, you're doing something right, bro.

[AJ McQueen]

Can we hit our generation then? They been our age, we ain't never been there.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And we better hope we get her.

[AJ McQueen]

You hit the elder, you hit the kid teenager. That, that, that's cold.

[Interviewer/Guest]

You heard?

[AJ McQueen]

When you get the kids, you ain't you a hit the elder.

[Host]

I think

[Interviewer/Guest]

when you drop the God body, it's that, man. Bruh, the name of the song, escaping Me, bruh. Hold on.

[AJ McQueen]

Can't do that.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Listen, man, you gotta understand that sometimes, like, when you're a little too intellectual, music really ain't stimulating like that, right? It's actually like, kind of distracting. And people had always been telling me, like, especially since people got hooked. My first viral video was a criticism on capitalism and how it intertwined with racism, right? So I'm telling niggas like, you are. You are capitalism. You, yeah, you. They built you straight up. You know what I'm saying? So if the blueprint is slavery, then that's 100% for a proper system. They wanna get back to that facts. And it's like, yeah. And then this nigga's like, hey, you know AJ, McQueen? I'm like, nah, who is that, bro? What? He's like, you talking that God body shit. He coming like that. And he. One of them niggas got buku emojis.

[AJ McQueen]

Oh, one of them, one of them.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm like, man, I'll check this shit out, right? And that's the song that stuck out. Cause it's like around this time, I spend a lot of time on the road, so I'm not listening to music. But I'm hip. But I'm from the. I'm playing.

[AJ McQueen]

I'm hip, I'm hip.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I just wanna see. Okay, yeah. The second moment that really stuck out is you had the elder at your show. She had an all white.

[AJ McQueen]

All white. She came by herself.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I said, nah, this nigga's special, bro.

[AJ McQueen]

Bro, bro, that was profound, bro. I thought I was there to speak to her, bro. She grabbed me, you know what I'm saying? And it's like, shook my core, bro. I got back on stage crying, bro, you know what I mean? Like, you know, she said, and she was saying to my earth, she said my kids laughed at me because I said I was going to a concert by myself. She left her kids at home, bro, you know what I mean? Like, I couldn't even, like I wouldn't know that that's gonna happen, you know what I'm saying? So I don't take it lightly at all, man. Like, I'm honored, you know. And it's the elder, like I'm gonna go back on Twitter. It's the Elders Bond tickets. They the ones who in the, in the emails. And it's the elders, bro.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I think we all got an idea of like what our demo is. Yeah, how do you adjust to that, man?

[AJ McQueen]

Honestly, bro, like, I just don't close nothing off. Like, I, I studied, but before I took music very seriously, I studied like business, bro. Like, I. I'm a serial entrepreneur, you know what I'm saying? Like, I'm serious. I started companies, non profit organizations, all that. I study market trends, SWOT analysis. I'm just a real study of, of business. But when I was in college, I studied sociology, you know what I'm saying? My degree is in communication, but I study sociology too. And the study of people in groups always been fascinating to me, bro. It's because it's the first time I ever understood while I was in the game. Like, it was first time I ever like, like instead of like, why would I even grab it? Like, how do we get in there? I approach gang banging from a very like, intellectual point of view. I'm like, oh, that's why you heard me. So when it now that in music, I apply the same thing, you know what I mean? I just choose to not close off anybody. I never forget I had interview. I won't say the name of the person. Cause you know, it's a popular person. And I don't, you know, I don't want Chatty Pat. But like, he was telling me, like, yeah, you gotta choose your audience, you know what I'm saying? Who's your target audience? I said, God's people. He like, nah, see, that ain't gonna work. You know what I'm saying? You gotta choose your audience. You gotta know who you talk to. I said, I do Know who I'm talking to? You know what I'm saying? God's people, you know what I mean? It's an audience. And the problem is we don't wanna call it an audience, but it is an audience, you know what I mean? So now, yeah, when I go on social media, I go on like my top five markets, we going to look at the cities and all that, bro. But you go to one of my shows, bro, literally going to see Hunter tell you I had a show, I sold out Atlanta. Her my first time, my first time performing in Atlanta. It was a table over to the left. It was a sold out show. 400 people. It was a table to the left. It was a group of Muslim women in their hijabs. It was a whole table of them. You heard me? Like, I'm talking about, they bought. They must have bought the whole, right? They bought the table, you know what I mean? And they was in a hijab over to the left, going crazy, you know what I mean? And then you look over here, you see some gangsters right there. You got the elders right here. You heard me? You guys who they all in here, bro.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Bro, I ain't gonna hold you, bro. I'm getting chills, bro. Man, I'm gonna tell you why, though. I never really been able to have this conversation with nobody.

[AJ McQueen]

Wow, bro.

[Interviewer/Guest]

When I was in Minnesota, we had this sold out show in Minnesota. It was right after ice. So, like, be careful. Don't go up there. I'm like, got me, right? You hear me going up, see my people, bro. I be scared of police. I ain't scared of no police. So it's the first thing I noticed is during Ramadan, so all these folk coming in, older couples like these, I'm like salt and pepper in this mother. Yeah, D folk got full grades. Married couples, like three of them. Dang. I ain't asking where they were from. Now I know they miss Middle Eastern Arabic and I see the Black Muslims behind them.

[Host]

I'm like, damn, bro, these is older people, bro.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Yeah, defaults in their 50s. And I know for sure they degreed up. They. I mean, they got infinite wisdom, you know what I'm saying? Way more than me. But then right next to them young niggas in that motherfucker and they ready and it's like, I ain't never really experienced this at no other show. Normally it's like a demographic. So I never heard nobody be able to speak about this shit. Because, like, I always tell people when I be talking about black people, I'm talking about black people, bro. I'm not talking about. Right. I don't care what your orientation is, what your age is. Actually, I feel like y' all need to pay more attention to the people that y' all disconnected from. The older people and the babies, y' all don't pay enough attention to them. And then, you know, once, you know, like, it's like, you know, circle of life, how you come in, how you go out. So when older people start needing our assistance, it's like we discard it.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah, bro. And that breaks my heart, you know what I'm saying? Like, I got a real. My dad was a. My dad, like, my whole dad's side of the family. Military, everybody, bro. Like, literally, that was the thing to do, you know what I'm saying? You know, I'm the only. I'm his only son, and I'm the only boy out of four sisters. I'll never forget the contact we had. He made me promise to never go to the military, ever. He said, ever. Don't ever do it. And I could never really get why until I got older. But when my dad passed and how he was treated and all that, I used to. I used to go with him to the VA a lot. You know what I mean? And I used to just see the elders in there, bro, and how they treated, bro, it breaks my heart, like, if I ever. You know, that's what kind of led me towards politics. When I was in politics, one of my things to do when I got in office, it was really to. I really want to pass some bills for the veterans, bro. I hate the way they treat it, bro. I hate how dirty the VA hospitals are. I hate it. I hate it with my soul, bro. And they stink. It smells, bro. It just.

[Interviewer/Guest]

It bothers me down there. Inhumane.

[AJ McQueen]

You heard me.

[Interviewer/Guest]

So the philosophy. The only way that ever made sense. Cause it never made sense to me that my uncle, you know, retired Navy, and then all his sons, my cousins, you know, I actually chose to go to jail over going to the Army. Yeah, they talk like. But they had a recruiter there, and he know my mom and them, but it's like, yeah, you know, if y' all allow him to. Y' all drop these charges, he gonna commit to the armor and shit like that. Asked me if that's something I wanted to do. I was like, no, nigga, I'll do the year. Yeah, fuck that. It ended up being, like, six months, but I was like, I'm not going to the military. Cause the only Thing I know is about a contract, and then I know how my uncle struggled with default. Like, anytime I went to the View with my uncle, it's like we go early in the morning and we there same. And it's the same shit every time. And it's like, yeah, they benefits, but like, bruh, isn't it killing you? Killing a day, whole day, and nine out of 10, it's like they ain't even gonna leave with the shit they wanted when they got.

[AJ McQueen]

I'll be back next week, bro.

[Interviewer/Guest]

So. But the philosophy is, like, something. When I'm listening to, like, older men talk, especially military men, when they talk about their brothers, that's like PTSD or. Or just homeless on the street, they was like, man, if they take care of them and they treasonous, though, you know what I'm saying? So if they start going against the

[Host]

oath,

[Interviewer/Guest]

this is the only organized citizens, like ex military veterans. They know how to organize and be militant. So you also. If you a corrupt government, you're not incentivized to take care of them. Facts, facts. Cause it's like, shit, if these motherfuckers organize, all they gotta do is teach people the skills they learn from the goddamn army.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And then now you got a society of militant people. Yeah. That you can't corrupt.

[AJ McQueen]

You got a regime.

[Interviewer/Guest]

See what I'm saying? So it's like. And that, you know, nine out of 10, you know, like, war on drugs and shit like that. That'd be the worst shit for me, is just seeing older men and women.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Homeless, devout.

[AJ McQueen]

That's why I make. I create space for him all the time, bro, we gonna. Priority seating. Who got wheelchairs? Hey, Hunt, they make a section over here. My show in St. Louis, he'll tell you, man. We gonna make a whole. Man. Hey, they good. They not getting. Nah, bro. Don't they. The venue owner want to make my St. Louis show standing only. He want to make it standing only. And, you know, I was battling with it. You know what I'm saying?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

And then.

[AJ McQueen]

But when I was told how many elders is up in here, you know, my team, like, nah, we need to make sure it's a section. And when I got on stage and I looked and it really touched my heart because I'm like, man, nah, this is my. This is. This is me, bro. You know what I'm saying? Like, I just did the Malcolm X festival her in Atlanta. 36th Annual Malcolm X Festival. Elders singing my words, bro. You know what I mean? Cause the philosophy is they've been Me before. I've never been them, bro. I've never been them. And it's ego, it's pride to think we have, bro. Like, you got a whole space for them, man.

[Host]

They.

[AJ McQueen]

They didn't been. They been my age. I ain't never been nervous. I pray I get there. So let me treat them with care and love. And also, I just feel like it's just angelic and ancestral, bro, to take care of them, you know what I mean? So that's just my heart, bro. I don't want to see as an artist. We gonna prioritize elders, you know what I mean?

[Interviewer/Guest]

Man, dawg, you actually, though. I mean, it's like you the antithesis of what this genre is or what they tell you it is. It's supposed to be for young people, but you got the people that. And, you know, spiritually, these folks closer to the other side. So if they gravitating to your words, it's like, bruh, it's like, that's a. You know, that shit really go without saying about who you is, though.

[AJ McQueen]

N. My grandmother, bro. I don't know. I've just always been like that, dog. Like, I got homeless. I got homeless community. I got homeless partners. Like. Like, I go sit with them, bro. Like, I got homeless. His name Happy. That's his name for sure. He be, you know, he deal with schizophrenia. He lost his family. He lost everything. He be tweaked out if you pull up on him. But with me, he. I'm telling you, I pull up on him. Happy. I was like, man, I miss you. We talk. We boom. You need some shoes. He's an elder, bro. We gotta take care of them, bro. And they gonna take care of us when we get there. Yeah, that's my philosophy, bro. Anybody a tree? I don't care how. What kind of. How much money you got, what kind of status you got? I don't care how bad she is. If she treat the elders bad, if she treat her grandma bad, she her mom bad, bro. I don't want to have nothing to

[Interviewer/Guest]

do with it, man. I don't. I don't. I don't really. With, like, you don't got a relationship with your granny.

[AJ McQueen]

You, word, bro. And it ain't about, like, I just moved my mom out the hood. I think it's been over a year. It's been like over a year or something.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I just said that on the last album, Shout Out Niggas, you know what I'm saying?

[AJ McQueen]

You know what I'm saying? Like, yo, I Was moving on out the hood, bro, you know, from. From. From the west side. From Wilson, you know? I mean, from the trenches, you know what I mean? Like, and that's the first thing I did when I got, you know, some. Some little money, you know what I'm saying? I went to get my mama. Yeah. You know what I mean? And my grandma. Like, I'm from where people ask you where your grandma stay. That's how much from the streets I'm from. I'm from where your grandma live at. We don't want to hear about where you just moved to your mama. So I'm from. When I tell you I'm from 6400, my grandma house was around the corner from where my mama house was. And so that should tell you how deep I was in this stuff. But when I got all the money, I went to get my mama first before I did anything. Anything. And, you know, my mom and I, our relationship was estranged, you know what I'm saying, Growing up. Because as I got shot, she sent me away, she put me on an airplane. And I lived with six families throughout high school, up until my adulthood, you know what I'm saying? So we had a relationship. One woman, somebody asked me in Atlanta. I was doing a meet and greet. They asked me about my mama. I said, man, look, it ain't. It ain't. Cause she deserved it. It's honor. Honor's a principle, bro. You hear what I mean? Honor's a principle, man. And when we realized that our life would be blessed, you know what I mean? I'm blessed, bro, because I believe in honor. I believe in code. I believe in principle, bro. You know what I mean? And so my mama, now we got a great relationship, you know what I'm saying? But when I made that decision, it wasn't cause she earned it. She didn't do nothing but birthed me. I was only. She was only my portal, bruh. And I think that if we get back to the simple truth, bro, like, everybody's so smart these days. Everybody know everything. And I think that that's actually, like, disparity. Cause the more you know, the more you held accountable. And unfortunately, a lot of us know we not supposed to know. One scroll on the phone, you know, a million things. You ain't supposed to know that. You heard me like it have us looking at what we've been given and comparing that to what we. I see this, bro. I want that. That's lust, bro. Heard me. Because what you've been given is blessed, bro. You don't even tend to your own garden. You heard me. But you want to go picking them, picking that field. That ain't your field, bro. And so I just. But look. But again, teach his own. I attended my garden and I just realized that that's where the blessings come from. My, the garden that I'm attached to. So I want to get my my mama. And that I believe has blessed my life immensely. You heard me? Toward now I can continue to do what I'm doing. So it's just I believe in honor, bro.

[Host]

This episode is sponsored by Better Help. Summer is one of those seasons where everyone acts like you're supposed to be

[Interviewer/Guest]

having the time of your life.

[Host]

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[Interviewer/Guest]

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[Host]

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[Host]

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[Interviewer/Guest]

Maybe something's been feeling a little off. And instead of making that appointment, you've

[Host]

been on Google, TikTok and WebMD diagnosing yourself with about 12 different things.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And listen, I get it.

[Host]

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[Interviewer/Guest]

yeah, but having a giving spirit is a real thing, bro. I don't really never. I've never worried about going without because I know I give. So when I need it, it's gonna come to me. That's a person too, you know. Another thing is like, I tell my, my kids, I was like, man, one day you gonna realize I'm a person. Cause that's when I became a man. When I realized my parents was just people, then I could put myself in a position like, instead of being like, why they ain't do this or why they ain't do that or like, like what you said, other people, y' all looking at other people in their relationship with their parents. Like, that ain't got nothing to do with me. N that really ain't even wasn't for me. So like, you know, I don't know if you're familiar with my story about like how I was adopted at birth and then my mother, I didn't find out until my mother passed though. So, you know, but she had these fertility issues, so she was able to get me out the womb. She like, it's my baby. It's a miracle. And so for me, I needed to know because it affirmed that I went crazy. Like I could trust myself, right? But then I also was like, allowed myself to be angry at her for a minute. And then I was like, all right, how would I put myself in her shoes though? Cause you think about this, you have miscarriage or you have stillborn, and you know, this is put strain on your relationship. It put a strain on how you feel about yourself. You know, women are very structure. Like, they structured them in society where it's like, you ain't a woman if you don't have kids. You Ain't a woman if you don't have a husband. So, yeah, I'm thinking about all this shit. Like, damn, bro, I'm gonna get that little cry out or I'm gonna let this shit go.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Cause if I hold onto this shit, I really ain't even, like. I really ain't even appreciating the process of how I came to be.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Cause shit, I mean, you know, if somebody give you away, fresh out the womb, hey, man, shit, ain't no telling where you might land.

[AJ McQueen]

I was telling somebody I was supposed

[Interviewer/Guest]

to land where I landed.

[Host]

Yeah.

[AJ McQueen]

I was telling somebody the other day. There's so much power and there's power and mystery and messages woven in the things that we couldn't choose. Like, gotta think about. In a world full of choice and free will. In a world full of free will, you could not choose what portal you came through, what color you are or what ethnicity, what state, what city, what gender, what circumstance. You couldn't choose none of it. I think there's. I think all of the treasures are woven in the box of the things you couldn't pick. Yeah. And it's amazing how we try to get away from it. You know what I'm saying? We want to pick everything else, bro. It's just lustful, bro. Lust is the thirst of more, more, more without accepting what is first. And so me, while I unpacked, you know what I'm saying? I had to unpack and relearn. Cause everything that I had wasn't. I was living out of a suitcase that somebody else packed. You know what I'm saying? Like, I ain't packed none of this, bro. This wasn't my choices, my thoughts, my whatever. So once I unpack and I repack, I say, damn, I need to go inward, you know what I'm saying? Like. And look at the things that I could not pick. Relationship with my mom, my sisters, my dad. Forgiving, everybody, forgiving all that. And once I did that, bro, it's like the Most High just opened up and everything started to hit because I was rapping, I was out here. But it wasn't nothing resonating, you know what I'm saying? The way that it's done in the last three years. But I can trace the three years back to the moment where I. Acceptance, ownership, forgiveness, all the things, right? But it was in the things I couldn't pick, bro. Especially as a black man. You gotta be able to go to the mirror and accept everything you can't change, bro. That's How I be telling the black men about self love? You better go to that mirror and accept your height and your dick size. Go do it, go do it.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Accept everything you couldn't control.

[AJ McQueen]

Cause until you do that, you ain't gonna be able to love nobody, brother. And they be like what they gotta do with any acceptance. Cause that's something you can't do nothing about. But once you can accept that, then you ain't gonna go out here projecting and deflecting and trying, you know what I mean? And destroying everybody else. Cause you don't love yourself.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Yeah. And the other thing is too is like you always gon. You always in a position where you feel like you got something to make

[AJ McQueen]

up for the lack of something. How you gonna walk in divinity? How you gonna walk in power if you feel like there's a lack of something, man? I got everything I need, bro. And whatever I don't have, I'm okay with that too.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Sure.

[AJ McQueen]

And I made peace with it. And so then the most high uses me in that area. And it don't mean I'm better, it don't mean I'm more this, more that. I'm just really at peace with myself. The only thing that makes me unpeaceful is things that outside of me, me, I'm peaceful. It ain't until I try to get into something or do this or get more of something, that's where the world start. But at least I can identify it.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Yeah, I'm going through a little phase right now where I'm trying to, I'm trying to recognize what my triggers is like in a way of I gain stability in life. I accepted what my plight was as a father, as a husband.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And I said, you know what? You know, I feel like the reason why I haven't had stability is cause I still hadn't accepted that I was like third. I was like, nah, I gotta put myself, I gotta be third. Because if I get my shit together then they gon benefit from it. But it's like nah. N put yourself to the back if you understand what you providing for and like why you doing it then all this, like if you want this to be a selfish thing, then you can't have them. Right. And so I didn't realize like how much of my, my all my self destructive shit was from a lack of stability, from selfish. I was being selfish as fuck. I only wanted like what I wanted. I'mma make all decisions. I'm the man, I pay the rent. All that fuck shit you get taught when you, when you're growing up, which is like, there's some validity to being provisionary, but it's like that shit ain't supposed to be for the ego. That's like, that's supposed to be a standard. That's supposed to be like, that's a part of your moral ethic. Right. It's not, it's not a. You don't get no pat on the back for that.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And I think once I was able to like release that, then I started like, okay, this why. This why I dive into addiction. This why I dive into like these self destructive behaviors or like isolation. I don't want to talk to nobody. I get away from everybody. And then I acting like ain't nothing wrong with me.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And then I started to notice, like once I was able to just accept the responsibility that I have, I created these responsibilities. I took on these, I accept these things. Right. Man, I started to see like, to the point where when it is all about me, I'm like, shit, why y'

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

all looking at me? Yeah.

[Host]

You know what I'm saying?

[Interviewer/Guest]

Like, so it's like I'm in a space now where I'm trying to understand, understand, okay, what caused these behaviors, like what causes self destructive behaviors. And then when am I feeding into that shit?

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Cause I get into a space now, like, I got, I done made my dreams come true. But then I feel like this need to isolate. Like, damn. Now I feel like, yeah, I got it now. I gotta maintain it and ain't nobody gonna help me do it. Yeah. And for the most part, a nigga showing you love off of. Not even like just niggas showing you love. But like, most people is looking at it like, how can I get a piece of it?

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah, how can I benefit from that?

[Interviewer/Guest]

How can I benefit from it? So then it's like, shit, if it all go down, it's gonna go down alone.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

But it came up alone. So it's like I'm like in such a weird space trying to figure out like, damn, bro, why I be Sundays on. I was like, bro, I don't even wanna talk. I don't wanna be on your phone phone. But it's the isolation. It's like, okay, I know where they come from. Yeah, it's. It's.

[AJ McQueen]

I feel like I deal with that too, like inadvertently. You know, I'm reclusive, you know, at times, you know what I'm saying? I get very reclusive. But the, the need for me to be reclusive is Because I'm. I'm not full no more. Like I've given. I've done, I've given out. And I need to. I need to refuel, you know what I'm saying? I need to. I need to, you know, put myself back together. And I just. In the last couple years, I've created different things that I do to help me do that, you know what I mean? Versus just being reclusive. I cold plunge, cold plunging. Changed my whole life, bruh. Yeah, changed my whole life, you know what I'm saying? Putting yourself in that fight or flight mode intentionally, you know what I'm saying? Like, you know, your inflammation, your nervous system, but also just. It's like a death. It's a quick death, you know what I mean? That water hits you, everything saying, get out. But your mind, you know, you overriding your mind. You saying, nah, I'm staying right here, you know what I mean? And staying there, like, I started instead of just reclusing and being alone, you know what I mean? My dad passed. I learned the difference between loneliness and solitude. It was taped on the back of his Bible because when he passed, you know how the family go get they stuff. I grabbed his Bible and it says, loneliness is the sorrow of being alone, while solitude is the glory of being alone. You know what I mean? So when you in solitude, you really in your glory, you know what I mean? Like, you get into yourself to where we know the world gonna chip away at us, but we got enough built up to where when they chip, I'm not depleted at the end no more, you know what I'm saying? Like, I still got something left because of what. What I've done in the solitude. Or like what I like to call the invisible hours. Like in my invisible hours, I go and I do this, this, this, this, this, that, you know what I mean? I was just telling about my brethren the other day, bro. He like, man, I'm trying to get this. I say journal. He like, nigga, what? I said go journal. I journal, bro. He was like, bro, I'm trying to tell me how to. Nigga journal, bro. Get your thoughts out, man, you a whole man. I heard, you know what I'm saying? Fighting the world, you know what I mean? Like, you gotta. And so that for me, cold plunging, you know, watching what I eat change my. Change my life. Just being more intentional, you know, you change how you eat, you change how you think. So I was like, okay. And bro, that's been opened a whole nother portal for myself. But I feel Like, I share the same sentiments as a man, that feeling to seclude and get away from it all. But for me, when I get away from it all, I get. I get. I get back to myself, though, you know? I mean, like, I do. So I'm doing some things that's putting me back into a place of, like, optimal. Optimalness.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Yeah.

[AJ McQueen]

I'm optimized. You know what I'm saying?

[Interviewer/Guest]

Yeah, yeah, that's it.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Yeah.

[AJ McQueen]

I'm gonna start saying somebody, how you doing today? I'm optimal.

[Host]

That's the new.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah, I'm optimal. You know what I'm saying? But just being optimal as a man, bro. Cause I do feel like we gotta remind people of that. That we humans. I've definitely have found myself, like, having to remind, you know what I mean, people of that. I say it in my song. Yeah. I said in one of my songs, sit yourself down. You know what I'm saying? I talk about. I know the vibe's godly, but seem like they forgetting that I'm human Assuming they all need solitude and silence Before I choose violence I meditate and pray I went for a walk, I heard the elder say and you know what I'm saying? So I was just talking by myself, like, nah, bro, I'm very much human, bro.

[Interviewer/Guest]

You know?

[AJ McQueen]

But what I love is, is I feel like the world is. Is. I'll say changing. I feel like the world is evolving, bro. Like, it's a deeper depth. It's more depth that's happening. You know, people are getting some more. We questioning more things, bro. You know? I mean, and I used to think that life is about having the answers, but then I learned that life's about having the questions. You know what I mean? Like, I question everything, and I believe that's where the answers come through.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Yeah.

[AJ McQueen]

You know what I'm saying?

[Interviewer/Guest]

I think I've been feeling triggered to God like, the last month. I ain't did. I had, like, purposes. Like, after the last tour was over, I was like, I'mma just chill. Like, I don't remember what it feel like to just chill.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah, bro.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And, like, first of all, I'm taking two weeks to even get used to it without feeling guilty about it. Because it's like. That's what I was saying. Like, that triggered, like, the isolate, but it's like. It's not real isolation. It's really just like. Like an unwillingness to stop. I want to keep going, but it's like, I don't got nothing to do. I was just telling My partner other day, like, damn, bro, it's a lot of information out here. I don't feel like I'm learning shit. I feel like everybody like they talking about stuff. Yeah, I feel like I don't feel like I'm learning that. And so it's like from that point of view, it's like, okay, well then to the point about questions, it's like, man, maybe I need to shut the fuck up.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And that. So instead of just the distraction, the stress, you know, that phone, bro, I'm telling you, hom that John, you'll get lost in that thing easy. And then when you got to think about, like, especially from my point of view, this is my business. So my business is run by the phone. And now I'm really detached from like the comments and what people got to say. So I could just post and go. But then you get caught up in vortex, like, damn. Oh, that's interesting.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Oh, this interesting too.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Let me go see what this person got going. And then you.

[AJ McQueen]

And then next thing you know, you gone.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And two hours gone. Doom scroll, bro.

[AJ McQueen]

Doom scrolling.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Keep you up at night and all that. And I'm like, you know, I'm thinking about it from the perspective, like, unless the show that I'm running right now, I've been telling people, like, if you understand America as a corporation and you understand that it's your time to resign from it. Yeah, right. And then whatever that mean to you, because. And then we talk about the phone. It's like it's a slot machine for dopamine. That's all it is.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And you just scrolling and you just waiting on one thing and that one thing that you find maybe right before you was finna like, man, ain't shit on here. I'm finna go ahead and you'll find that one thing and keep you. It's like this shit. They have this like a little casino in your hand just for dopamine.

[AJ McQueen]

It's this book that I read called Win by Daniel. Is it Daniel Pink? It's called Wind, bro. And it's a study of people and it's. It's the study of people on how they created social media. Like they created like, social media. They studied us to then go create the social media. You know what I mean? And it's very interesting because I think people sometimes forget that. Like, I know it looked like social media was her, especially for people that just born into it. Like, oh, man. But no, they watched us. They studied people. They studied back to sociology. They Studied groups of people and they studied when we wake up, what we say, what we do. You know, the time of this. And that's how all the ads, everything is made up off of the study of people. And in the book, it talks about this philosopher. I'm forgetting everybody names, but it's a philosopher by 1800s, 1860s or something. And he was in his office, he was thinking, and he. He had this plant on a windowsill. And the plant would open and close on his own, and it would open when it was light outside, and it was closed when it was dark. So he took the plant and put it in a cabinet, and he just wanted to see if it. Or whatever. So he blocked. He was trying to block the plant from seeing the sun. But when he opened the cabinet and it was. The sun was out. Cause he put the. He put the plant in the cabinet when it was dark, he opened it. When the sun was out, the plant was open in the cabinet. And it was Talking about the RAs, the reticular activating System. I could be saying it wrong, but we all have a reticular Activating system. Like we have a biological clock in us, regardless. Before clocks, before time, before anything, we just knew where we supposed to go, you know what I mean? Like, we just knew it. We knew, I need to go west, you know what I'm saying? Like, I'm going west. Why I'm going west, you know what I mean? And I think that we've gotten so far away from understanding that we have our own biological clock. They study us, we've given up our will damn near our life, you know what I mean? To phones, all these different creations and stuff like that. But when we get back to a state of being, bro, and I be saying that in my show, I'm like, man, you a human being, not a human doing, you know what I'm saying? Just for rhyme and niggas like, bro, you just keep doing, doing, you know, you need to be in a state of being, you know what I mean? That's where everything come from. But we have our own clock, bro, you know what I mean? And one of my biggest tasks, my journey is to get back to that, you know what I'm saying? To get back to, like, what happens naturally, bro, without nothing. Like, n. What do I feel, where I want to go, what I want to do is difficult because like you said, we got businesses to run, we got places to be, we got kids to feed.

[Interviewer/Guest]

We got.

[AJ McQueen]

But at our core, bro, we a natural. We have our natural system inside of us that was already created before anybody told us where we need to be. And we give it up for whatever reason. But I think if we work on getting back to that, we're gonna be our best self.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I think what it is more than anything is like, we outsource our intuition, right? So, like, facts. What's the thing about this?

[AJ McQueen]

Facts.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Let's think about this. Any question you have, right, you can ask Google, and then Google will tell you, right? Niggas gonna ask other people. They get on threads. You see what I'm saying? It's an outsourcing. Like, you don't even. Damn. No. Don't trust even the information from experts no more.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

If you. If you think, like, maybe this is just a lack of. This is like. I think the thing is now that I'm saying might be, like, you just faking the phone. Like, you wanna know. You don't really wanna know.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

You wanna know what other people believe. Yeah, you don't wanna go find out the answer yourself. So it's like. Cause asking threads, when you could ask Google, it show, like, it show you, like, what the psychology is. I don't care about, like, the truth. I care about what's acceptable. I care about what y' all think.

[AJ McQueen]

I care about what y' all think the truth is, what y' all think

[Host]

the truth is, so I can get on board.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Because this the thing. If, you know, I was talking to somebody, he was telling me, like, the thing about you that, like, why people like you is because you're not agreeable. So most people is agreeable. And most people, like, they shy away from conflict. They don't want to say anything that's gonna step on people's toes. So when they gonna ask some threats, they want to know what the acceptable answer is.

[AJ McQueen]

The comment, yeah, the truth. What's the consensus? What's the census answer? What everybody's saying, right?

[Interviewer/Guest]

So for me, I always been the type of person, like, I want to get to the root. I want to know the why. If I.

[Host]

If I can get to the root

[Interviewer/Guest]

of something, man, I understand everything above it, right? And then also, you know, I come up in the neighborhood where like, oh, men always like, you don't even gotta ask no question. They just kind of give you answers, right? And then it's like, now you get, oh, you gotta check that shit, too. Like, what was they even talking about?

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And then you start thinking about this. Like, I'm telling my partner, hey, man, when we. We need to watch how we listen. Like, when People talking. We need to listen to them. And, like, what are they saying? You know what I'm saying? Not like. Because it's like, is this how he feel or is this what he think we wanna hear?

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah, that's powerful, bro.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I really started. Because I started noticing, like, Be like, oh, I think just like you. And I'd be like, all right. I don't know what that mean.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Because I can only think how I think, right? And then it's like, when we'll get to chopping it up and they'll say stuff, but they saying it like this.

[AJ McQueen]

You can see in their body that they not 100% sure. That little lean says a lot, though.

[Interviewer/Guest]

You agree with this?

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And then if I'm like, I don't know about that. They be like, no, no. But what I'm saying is, like, nah, you just don't. You trying to appease me, nigga? Nah. Say how you feel about it.

[AJ McQueen]

That's rare, bro.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Cause if you. Cause if you just go around being agreeable, you might be making some agreements that you don't really agree with, brother.

[AJ McQueen]

That's why it's a lack of revolutionaries, though. Like, people that can revolutionize spaces. You know what I mean? Like, thinkers. Like people that speak. Like, you. Like me. Like, you know, we got some psa. We out here, right? You know what I'm saying? They out here. It's some folks out here, you know what I'm saying, that's willing to stand, bro. Like, that's willing to speak. They true, you know? I mean, and stay on it, you know? I mean, and be willing to carry that all the way through to the end, you know what I mean? And.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And.

[AJ McQueen]

But it's a lack of it, bro, because of that very thing. Because everybody want to be a part of something. I always tell people, you want to be great, bro. You. No, I told my partner, I said, I know you don't want to be great because you want to be liked too much. You don't want to be great, bruh. Cause you want everybody like you. I can tell. Like, you don't want to be great because the great news, you got to stand on something. You got to pick a side, nigga.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Like, man, you not going to be the. I had to accept it, bro. I'm not going to be that person that they invited everywhere. But also, man, I don't want to be in the rooms neither.

[AJ McQueen]

I know I'm not.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I got to be okay with that. Like, a lot of times I go places and people like, man, how you feeling, man? Yeah, man, how you feeling, man?

[Host]

It's great, man.

[Interviewer/Guest]

How you feeling? I'm like, they invited me here.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Yeah. I'm trying to see what they own.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I ain't feeling nothing. For real. I'm really trying to see what y' all on in here. And then, you know, I tell my homeboys, like, when you coming up and you doing this shit, like, don't never be happy to be invited nowhere.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Cause then when you get there, you just gonna be happy to be in the room. You ain't gonna change things.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

You ain't even gonna know what's going on in the room. You just happy to be there.

[AJ McQueen]

And you in the room and not realizing the table that you sitting at ain't even the table. You at the little kid. You at the. They didn't put you at the little kid table.

[Interviewer/Guest]

You ain't even at the hot dog.

[AJ McQueen]

You ain't at the table, bro. Like, you. You in the room, ain't at the table. And then you realize when you in the room and they play the music, you like, man, let's dance. You dancing and realizing you ain't in control of music, and then you like, there's levels. Basically, what I'm saying is there's levels to all that. You got invited. You ain't all these things you got access to.

[Interviewer/Guest]

You know why?

[AJ McQueen]

You don't even know why. You heard. You just can. You invited. You at the kid table, you happy to be here. Then when you get on the dance floor, you happy to dance. You don't have no access to the playlist. That don't bother you? It don't bother you that you don't know.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And they tell you no request, so

[AJ McQueen]

I don't have no. I can't. Nah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I don't got no. Say something.

[AJ McQueen]

Hey, just be happy to be here, bro.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Yeah. I tell people that all the time. I'm never just happy to be here, bro. Like, you know, the thing is, is that if I come in here and I look at. Like, if I look at y', all like, y' all not my peers. Yeah. I ain't around. Let y' all folk handle me, bro.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I'm really trying to figure out what's going on in here. Why, first of all, why you want me here? Second of all, what's the. You know, I've been in some spaces and, you know, you know, we speaking, but we saying. We saying something, but we ain't saying so, you know, it's like, I've made a lot of statements about integrity. And then. Then it's like, well, what about. What about this number? I was like, man, I fire everybody in this. Yeah, y' all understand that, right? Like, I lead this. It ain. This ain't never been about no money, bro. The money's. I. I love the. The ability to provide, the ability to generate an income on my own from who I am. That's amazing, bro. But if I tell you I can't be bought, don't try to bring new buyers.

[AJ McQueen]

Cause they don't believe until you stand, right?

[Interviewer/Guest]

Also, because they done seen too many people with a number.

[AJ McQueen]

Everybody foresee it. That's what they say.

[Interviewer/Guest]

You know, I'm kid real. I was talking to somebody. I was like, Yeah, I interviewed AJ McQueen tomorrow. And he was like, AJ McQueen, you ain't never heard, bro one of your pages? I was like, I hear make music. I was like, yeah. He was like, man, I ain't never heard you, like, really talk something. I'm not a fan of that nigga music. I'm a fan of him.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah, yeah, straight up.

[Interviewer/Guest]

All right. I like. Like, I ain't gonna hold you, bro. Like, even outside of music, it's just like, bro, you really do got, like, a magnetic character. Gratitude. One of them people where I was like, I know I'm like, this nigga, bro. Gratitude I don't even got.

[AJ McQueen]

Right when we met, we. You know what I'm saying?

[Interviewer/Guest]

Right as soon as we met, like, we been knowing each other, but I was like, I don't really. You know, I love what you do and what you represent, and I'm glad that you have found a path that is able to provide for you and the people that you love. And it's yours. But I'm really a fan of you, bro.

[AJ McQueen]

Gratitude, bro.

[Interviewer/Guest]

You get what I'm saying?

[AJ McQueen]

Gratitude.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Because you speak some stuff that's like, I'm always looking at the. Who I can learn from.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah, no, same.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Cause it's tough when you always in the room and you the teacher.

[AJ McQueen]

I always tell people, the great ones know that they. The master and the teacher and the student. Like, you know what I'm saying? The teacher and the student and the music. Just a vehicle, bro. I'll stand before anybody and tell people that, like, music's the vehicle, dog. Like, you know, my purpose is to. It's why my purpose is deeper than the music. You know what I'm saying? And, you know, I had somebody tell me a while ago, and it's always sat with me, bro. Maybe because I was a fan. I'm a fan of Pac and just his life, you know what I'm saying? They was like, man, if Pac would have stayed alive, you kind of seem like that's what you would be like, kind of what that was. And I took it very humbly. And then I sat with it. And I think more so what he's talking about more than just Pac, but just the evolution of a revolutionary or a man, you know what I'm saying? That get older, bro. I got shot at 15, bro. I almost died. Inch away from being paralyzed, you know what I'm saying? So for me getting older, I'm be honest with you. I ain't. When I was in the mirror today in the hotel, bro, I put this on my cousin Marcus grave, bro. I had took my. My tam off. Cause I always wear like, something on my head. I had some gray hairs that popped up. I got happy. I got happy. You heard me? And I had a moment of joy came over me. I said, man, you getting older, bro. I love it, bro. You know what I'm saying? Because I'm gonna show. I believe I'm the. I'm the. I'm the ethicist of what black. Like, I'm from the streets. I did everything. Everything your favorite rapper talking about. I'm telling you, I done did it. I was in them hot cars. I done did that, did that. I don't glorify it, but I did it. But I want to show them what it look like to get old, bro. You know what I'm saying? I just want to get old, bro. You know what I mean? Like, and be on the other side of all this and you know what I mean? And be able to be that OG that. You know what I mean? So when I connect with people like yourself and people that I just. I gravitate to. Cause I remember when you first came across the screen, I was like, damn, bro, just. And y' all could tell this you being authentically yourself. And I'm the only people I want to be in the room with, bro. You know what I'm saying? Because I'm going to be authentically me. We going to agree, we're going to disagree. We're going to challenge each other. Iron sharp and iron, we going to build. But you know what's real at the end of the day for sure. And you know what I'm saying? Them type people I want to go to war with and people I want to. You know what I mean? And the space. Yeah. The spaces that we talked. That you talked about earlier. I know I ain't invited. I'm not invited to everything. I was on BET106 park when I was 19. 19, I was on a return to Roxy. You can't find it nowhere because they took the episode off YouTube. Because I was talking about God and Jesus the whole time. I would. And not even in a. In a preaching way, but I was just standing on what I believed at that time. I was just standing firm. You couldn't move me, bro. You know, I mean, I was talking about faith, you know what I mean? As I got shot, I knew somebody protected me, you know what I mean? And at that time, for me, that's what I. That's how I. I preference it. But they. They took it off. All off. Off YouTube. I still got the episode, but they took it down, you know what I'm saying? But that was my start to this, bro. I've all. But they put youth activists on the screen. When I was 19, I didn't know what youth activist was. I'd heard of activists. I didn't know you could be a youth one until. So at 19, I'm like, I'm a youth activist, you know what I mean? And so I started getting booked all across the country. But it was as a speaker. I ain't never been afraid to talk, bro. And I'm confrontational, you know what I'm saying? But God has evolved that for me to be able to confront things because we don't fight against flesh and blood at all, you know what I mean? So I start to create spaces, bro. And now I got. Now that's what God body. I got God body weekend, you know what I mean? We finna do our fifth. Our fifth anniversary, bro. You know what I'm saying? Make it. We'll talk. I would love you come. God. By weekend, it would be. It would be the biggest. It would be the biggest thing in the world, bro. Them spaces are created for just the. The depths of us, bro. You know? I mean, we got body, bro. I don't. We ain't no. Ain't no. Ain't no barrier to entry to this, to this, to this growth, bro. I don't talk to nobody talking. Nobody talking about. We talk to the source. We dealing with the source on everything. And that ain't everybody. Cup of tea. Because some people want to be controlled, bro. They want. They want people to tell them what to do. They don't want to have that much access. And that's the problem.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I understood a long Time ago that people don't know what to do when things unravel. So it's like, you know, it's like. Oh, you know, this whole, like, this idea is like. I call fake revolutionaries. Like, you want to burn everything down. Where have you ever built. Okay, you burn everything to the ground.

[AJ McQueen]

You want to burn everything down. What have you ever built?

[Interviewer/Guest]

What have you ever built?

[AJ McQueen]

Crazy.

[Interviewer/Guest]

That's what I'm saying. So if you burn everything down and. And protest or revolution or whatever like that, you ain't never built for one, so now you live in rubble, and then for two, you only have no community. So then everybody was like, down to, like, burning shit down with you. Now it's like, we don't have no resources now. Oh, shit, nigga, you my enemy now. Y' all don't even understand how, like, quick things break down and shit break down. I tell niggas all the time, if zombie apologies come, I'm taking myself out. I don't got time for that.

[Host]

Yeah, we just go ahead this life over.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Cause it's like, you don't understand. Like, this is life now.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And I'm saying it from like, is that the life you wanna live?

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah, exactly.

[Host]

That's every day.

[AJ McQueen]

Cause you can choose.

[Host]

You can choose.

[AJ McQueen]

People forget that they got that.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Well, because. Because. Because here's the thing, too.

[Host]

We come.

[Interviewer/Guest]

We come. You know, I have one question for you, bro. I literally. I only have one question for you. I'm telling you, bro, I already know. Like, I know I could talk to you. So I had one question for one, because everything is that deep is like, that's me. So this ain't really a question. It's just like. Yeah, I understood why you said that. How did the evolution of AJ McQueen come about? Great question, because I didn't heard you talk about several different stages of involvement. So I know, like, when people ask

[Host]

me, like, what books you read, it's

[Interviewer/Guest]

like, bro, you don't even understand. Yeah, I'm not the street nigga that y' all was. I'm not the. That was sitting here lying about having bricks.

[Host]

I was a hot boy.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Yeah, yeah, I running your.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And I ain't got a mask on I want you to know with me so then if I'm living like that, you gotta understand I beat a crazy charge. And all the dreams I'm having is about me dying in front of my people. So then I'm like, bro, I'm really in a crossroads where this is the first time I really, like, talked to God. And I was serious, like, bro, if you get me up out of this shit, bro, I can't do 10. My mama need me. My mama like, I've been watching my mama come to court and come into these fucking trials and it's like, man, bro, mama dark skinned woman, bruh. She and this bitch pale, bruh. This is the first time I realized

[Host]

what the fuck I was doing.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Yeah, like damn. Killing it lady, bruh. And my little sister gonna be out here by herself. My niece and nephew gonna be out here by herself. My sister already addicted to drugs. I mean I was like, damn bro,

[Host]

for these nigga, bro.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Fuck these nigga bro. And not even fuck em like that. It's just like, it's just, yeah, bro, I done, I done tie my loyalty to these folks. But I'm killing my foes.

[AJ McQueen]

It's crazy you say that, bruh.

[Interviewer/Guest]

So when you started, when you said you started talking about God, it's like that's where I started this. The first thing I thought is like, if I'm gonna change my life, what would my granny tell me to do? I'm finna go give my life to Jesus. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna start there. I know I might evolve out of

[AJ McQueen]

this, but that's not.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I'm skeptical, but I'm starting somewhere. But this what granny taught me to do. This was like. And she ain't here, so if I had to guess, she gonna tell me to go get baptized. Give my life Jesus, cuz.

[AJ McQueen]

It was pathway.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I'm just gonna do that.

[AJ McQueen]

Pathway.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Yeah.

[AJ McQueen]

When I got shot.

[Host]

Water real quick.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah, my mom, when I got shot. People, people always say, oh man, you got shot and change your life. No dog. First of all, I was prophesied too that I was gonna get shot. Somebody told me that I was gonna get shot. She said she had a dream, God showed her that I had bullet holes all in my back. And I died. So then two days later I got shot. You know what I'm saying? And so it was, it was, it was getting shot and it's, bro, it's just bullets flying. Bullets flying past your face is just a different, it's a different thing, bro. And you know it, it, I was a little boy, bro. Like, and I had to remind myself, bro, he was a child, like 15, you know what I'm saying? Like I was a child, bro. You know, and. But it still wasn't the bullets that changed me, bro. When I was in the hospital bedroom, my mama face, it was the look in her eye. I will Never forget, ever in my life. It was a look of disappointment, hurt in my mama eyes. It was a mama's love that inadvertently, like, it showed through the pain in her eyes. I knew she loved me. It was kind of crazy to say, but. Because if anything, before that, I'm like, my mama don't love me. She ain't a nurturer. She don't know. Whatever. Whatever, boy. The pain in her eyes, you know what I mean? Me being the hospital bed. And then when my cousin had called the lady that told me I was gonna get shot, like, right when I. When she pulled up to the hospital, I said, Call Ms. Johnson. Call Ms. Johnson. She called Ms. Johnson, told her I got shot. And Johnson started praying on the phone. She was an intercessor, prayer, you know what I'm saying? So she praying, she turning on the phone, you know what I mean? On speaker or whatever. It wasn't speaker. It was loud enough for me to hear. And I was crying, tears coming down my eyes, bro. And my mom was like, you know you're going back, right? You know, like, she's like, you know you're leaving, right? Like, leaving. What you mean, bro? You know what I mean? Cause now I'm battling between. I got my street, I got my stripes now, you know what I'm saying? We finna go do that now. We got something to do for the next summer. We got something to do.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I mean. I mean, honestly, man, you know, Nigga don't understand, bro. Like, you have every excuse in the world to get in that cycle.

[AJ McQueen]

We got something to do. You heard me? I got something to look for. You know, that's when you. When you really from the trenches, bro. You ain't got nothing to look forward to. You ain't got nothing to plan for. I got something.

[Interviewer/Guest]

But then also, reputation is a thing. When you ain't got shit, all you got is your reputation. So now the only thing you thinking about is what niggas thinking about you. And, you know, you gotta respond like, that's every. That become everything. It's like, this shit happened to me. I gotta live with this shit. But my mentality about what y', all,

[AJ McQueen]

what y' all think, you know what I mean? So, yeah, I was battling that. Living or dying for something, right? Yeah, you're a kid.

[Interviewer/Guest]

You had the peak of niggas being on. Fuck, shit. Like, 15 is where you feel like, for one, can't nobody tell me who I am. And for two, I already done made up my mind about who I am.

[AJ McQueen]

Well, my mama Was like, you can't. She was willing to fight me. Like, I remember us. I met my mama standing up in front of me, like, fist balled up like, you. You leaving and I ain't. You know what I mean? But I battled in my heart, bro, about in my mind. And then when I got on that train, I used to take the Amtrak, and I got on that train, bro, and I got off that train by myself with a bag of clothes, bro. And it was the family that told me I was gonna get shot. They took me. They let me come back and.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Right.

[AJ McQueen]

I was depressed, you know? And this before ain't like, oh, yeah. So you was just scrolling on your phone. They ain't want no phone. They went on Instagram. I had to sit there with real thoughts, you know what I'm saying? Like, real pain, like, real struggle for days, weeks, years.

[Interviewer/Guest]

This was 2000.

[AJ McQueen]

This is 2000. What? I graduated 2007, so this had to be 2000.

[Interviewer/Guest]

You 36.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

You're a year my senior. So it was what you got shot at? 15.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

6.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah, yeah, you heard me. So I'm. I'm nothing, bro. Just thoughts.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Yeah, Going on, bro.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Nothing.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And I usually hear music when you do nothing like that.

[AJ McQueen]

Hell no, you heard me. So I. I went through that, bro. And it was treacherous, man. Man, it was treacherous, bro.

[Interviewer/Guest]

It was. It was a long. Like, when you got hit at, I got.

[AJ McQueen]

So I got. I got a hole right here, and I got hit right here. So this my artery, you know? You got the artery go through your vein, bro. When I kid you not, they said, inch. Like, bro, you could have. And I would have bled to death. Like in a. Hot. In the. In the ambulance, they thought it hit my artery from. Because it. You know, it's like this big now, but it was bigger, you know what I'm saying? So they thought I was. They thought I was bleeding out because there was so much blood.

[Host]

Yeah.

[AJ McQueen]

But, you know. You know, next thing you know, I'm in the hospital and I'm just looking up at the ceiling. So as they. As they rolled me on the stretch out, the hospital lights just, you know, like. And I thought I was gone, too, because you don't know. And then it wasn't. The people I was asking, you get shot. I didn't feel it. You know what I'm saying? It wasn't until the adrenaline hit me and my mind connected that I got shot. Then I was like, oh, I'm shot. And then the pain hit, and the recovery is worse than Getting shot, bro. The recovery is horrible, bro. Cause you got open wounds. Like, stuff ain't supposed to cut through your body like that. So I'm in these people's house, and I'm just. I'm depressed, bro. And I got yanked from my family, my friends, everybody. Everything I ever knew, bro. I got yanked from. And I could never come back. I always say, you could never come back here. And so it took me years. The first school I went to, I got kicked out because the school colors was blue. And I had on a black and gold jersey, which St. Louis. I used to play basketball for the hood. And a dude. I walked past the dude, he said, take that color off me. Not knowing the opposite school. That was the rival color of the school. All I saw was a nigga in blue telling me, take. So my brain, I snapped, you know what I mean? And. And they said I was banging his head on the lockers or something, but they kicked me out, you know? I mean, and so I just. I went through hell, bro, trying to adjust, man. And it was hard. Like, I ain't gonna. Like, it was hard, you know? I mean, but it was a dying of my ego. It was a dying everything, bro. And I had a man come to me and tell me, you know, I'm saying about the gospel, bro. And more so. It was more so. What still resonates with me to this day was like, you know, you got a bigger purpose. It's more so the purpose talk more than the. You know, I don't really subscribe to that way of looking at it now, but it was more so the purpose talk. Somebody telling me I got something to live for. You heard me. That really. It just always sat with me, bro. And then I made my first song on a tape recorder. They gave me a tape recorder, and I used to hold it up to, like, a speaker, and I would just rap on it. And I made a song about God saving me. And then I went through high school as, like, a og, you know what I'm saying? At freshman year, I had already did what they started doing senior year. You heard me? Like, I had already. I was already thugging, bro. And I already had. Saw what that was worth. So that was my. Me getting shot with my first awakening. Thinking fast forward, bro. My dad died in 2016. That's the first time I ever been depressed. Like, well, no, I'm lying. I. I didn't know it was depression until I went back, but I definitely was depressed when I got shot, definitely. So that was like a second time And I'm a self starter, bro. Naturally motivated. I don't really. I don't say I don't get depressed, but I'm gonna do something about it. If I'm depressed, I'm doing something about it, you know what I'm saying? Like, I don't really like to just sit there and defeat it like that, but. So if I'm depressed, it means I didn't. Whatever happened is winning, you know what I'm saying? And my dad dying, Seeing my hero just turn into nothing, you know, in front of my eyes. And we got the same name. So, you know, seeing your name on the tombstone is kind of. Kind of crazy, bro. You know what I'm saying?

[Interviewer/Guest]

So.

[AJ McQueen]

And I talked to him Wednesday, Friday, he was out of her. So, you know, it's kind of. It's kind of. It messed me up. And I went through real dark season. And that's when I. Everything, bro. Nothing meant anything to me no more, though. You know what I'm saying? Like, I gave away all my clothes. That's when I, like, I took my Nazarene oath. I started to look for something deeper than what I had, and I embraced Rasfari and I took my Nazarene oath. I stopped shaving my face. I stopped. I gave all my clothes away. I gave my car away. I really just became nomadic.

[Host]

Nigga.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Thought y' all were crazy.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah. I'm saying, hey, boy, I ain't gonna hold you.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I know, bro. I'm telling you, I ain't gonna lie. I've been on, like, the verge of tears this entire time you've been in here, but it's not about, like, crying. It's, like, energy, bro. I'll tell you, bro, like, at 19, at 19, a young lady, I was in dicky field. I got, like, this all black dick.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

I'm a rob.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I'm rob. Like, I, I, I tell that all the time. Like, I want a good hustler. Because I just, like, damn, y' all doing a lot of work, but I'm just gonna go take that. That if y' all come get me, then it's like that because I'm homeless. And, like, my mama really don't. And she ain't with my program, like, my programming, talking about for real. And, like. And I tell now, like, I was a bum. That's what I really was. I really ain't want, I ain't had. And so I don't value. And it's like, you got something. Yeah, take this, Take it and damn

[Host]

near double like, on some double dog

[Interviewer/Guest]

dare you to do something about it, because I don't got to lose. So this is why I'm starting having all these dreams about dying. Because it's like, bro, I'm doing. I'm. I'm. Yeah, I'm not living right, bro. And so I'm in this. I mean, all black dicky fit, top to bottom. And I go in this bookstore, I'm Barnesin over, and this girl, she in there, she's sitting. It's like. It's like kind of radiant. And she got on all she got on white, so it's like opposite. And she reading this book called why Women have Sex. And so my partner being like a freaky ass, he wanted niggas like, you know what I'm saying? Like, you know, back in the day, got TVs in their car and they riding around watching porn and shit. Like, he want a freaky ass. Yeah, I hated that shit. I ain't never been like, no, I don't like all that. So, you know, he's like, yeah, tell me, why do women have sex? Trying to like, you know. And she said, I wouldn't know. I'm a virgin. That's why I'm reading the book.

[Host]

Mm.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I said, you leave, I got.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah, you're.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I wanna know what the fuck. Like that's, that's this. This not. This not real to me. And so, bruh, we have a two hour conversation, bro, over a cup of coffee. And this is like some of the most. This is the most comfortable I ever got with a person. That fast? Yeah, damn near. Like, by the time I finish talking about her, I wanna tell her I love her. Yeah. And like after three days, she told me, like, I love you. And then we never talked again. The first day we met, she told me I was gonna be a pastor. And she said it's not in a traditional sense. It's not anything. You can't predict how this is gonna happen. But I see you being a pastor. And she said, yeah, I know you wanna rap and you wanna do all these different things and it may happen like that. But she said, I just see you pastoring to. Then she said, it's a multitude of

[AJ McQueen]

people leading the people.

[Interviewer/Guest]

It's more than you can even ever think of. And so then, like, when I'm going through this, I'm not thinking about this. This shit hitting me along the way, right? So then I'm steeped in my addiction, bro. Like, I'm, you know, I'm selling cocaine, doing cocaine, I'm in it, bro. I'm at 3 in the morning, I'm like 26, 27. And my neighbor like, my neighbor never really speak to me like that. Came out, came at 3 in the morning. He said, man, you gonna bring the true word of Jesus to the people. I'm like, nigga, what? It's three in the, bro. I'm geeked up and I'm waiting on a play. I don't know, I'm like, I'm fucked up. Cause now I connect this to what this girl taught me. And then I told my old lady and she like, boy, you know who you are? Yeah, you running from that shit. And she said, it's because you don't like the idea of a pastor. You don't like the idea of the church. You think she called you a preacher, nigga, she said you was a pastor. That's the part you gotta contend with. Everywhere we go, when you talk, people listen everywhere.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

She said, even the niggas that don't wanna listen to niggas listen to you. Adults listen to you. Even though you ain't got it all figured out, people know you know what you talking about.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And she like, and you out here, you jeeked up. You turned and she said, you just trying to destroy yourself. Cause you don't want to deal with your purpose. And she said, man, that man ain't never said nothing to us. Why the fuck would he come out here at three in the morning.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And talk to you?

[Host]

You the way you be looking.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And so at 24, I'm at 27. I done skipped ahead at 24. I started replaying a lot of my life about growing up with like, you know, I'm a doctor, so I'm growing up with these dark skinned sisters. And people used to always get them compliments. No, always give me compliments. You got pretty hair. Yeah. You got such beautiful skin. They'll never give my sister compliments. She used to bother me. And I was watching this Bob Marley documentary and it was something about this shit bro that just kind of like he rejected vanity. Yeah. And I was like, man, I've been living and coasting off vanity my whole life. Cause people think I look good. Yeah. And so I just feed into our charm. Motherfucker. I'm doing all this shit. Like I'm literally using anything that I could perceive as a gift to take advantage of people and distract myself in the process. Right. And so I was like, man, while I went over later, I told her, I was like, I ain't never cut my hair again. I ain't getting a lineup. I don't want to smoke no loud no more. If that shit ain't got season, I ain't smoking it. Yeah, I had got to this. I'm in this mold, bro. Like, for a year, bro, I ain't shaved my face. Now I look nigga. So you know, you gotta understand something, bro. Niggas is looking at me like, this nigga's crazy.

[AJ McQueen]

Same.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Something is wrong with this nigga.

[AJ McQueen]

My mama thought I lost my mom, bruh.

[Interviewer/Guest]

She thought I did. After three months, she was like, all right, bro. Like, I get what you saying, but, like, you don't even get no. You don't even get no beard. Your hair grow. My hair grow to here and out the hill like it. You know? Yeah. So I'm looking crazy, shouting, no lineup. I don't care about clothes. I don't care about nothing. I had the Nike. I had the New Balance boots, and I just like them because they're like some hiking boots. But the insert. The inserts of them is waterproof, so I just wear the inserts everywhere.

[AJ McQueen]

And what was I wearing every day? I wore Chucks every day in Adidas track pants and a black T shirt every day.

[Interviewer/Guest]

But I ain't gonna hold you. It was the first time. And then, you know, I don't like no pretty hair. Like, I don't like that if you got locks and your are pretty.

[AJ McQueen]

I'm like, yeah, I don't lay out.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I'm thinking, like, my shit when my shit growing. I'm twisting my shit myself. I'm twisting my shit together. I'm putting all this shit together. Like, this is like my third set of luck. But at that time, I started realizing, like, oh, man, y' all don't think I'm cute no more. So y' all don't want to hear nothing I got to say. So now it really matter about what I think and who I think I am. This when I start getting into books, nigga. This when I'm starting. Like, if you come to my house, bruh, we ain't coming over here to kick it, bro. We ain't talking no shit. We finna watch a documentary, bro.

[AJ McQueen]

You know what's.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I played Black Power. I played a Black Power mixtape for a nigga.

[AJ McQueen]

And.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And. And when Martin Luther King said it'd be better to have scars on your skin and scars on your soul, I said, here with my partner, we smoking. I'm. I'm. I'm dead crying, boohoo. Crying. Cause that shit just hit me.

[AJ McQueen]

Wild stuff sound the same, though.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I'm telling you, bro. I'm telling you, bro, it's a odd energy ever since you watching this. But it's not odd, but, like, I just feel it. Like any I know when I fuck with people. Cause it had me on the verge of tears, nigga. It's just an energy thing, though.

[AJ McQueen]

It sound exact same, bro. And then when you get on the other side, like, even how you start

[Interviewer/Guest]

out, then you start talking about the elders. It's like. I'm like, bro, where the bro?

[Host]

What the fuck did he get?

[AJ McQueen]

I ain't always recording or not. I even know we just sat here. As soon as I sat here, we just started talking like, look, bruh, when

[Interviewer/Guest]

people walk up to me and they like, man, my mama taught me to listen to you, bro. My mama don't listen to nobody.

[AJ McQueen]

It's different.

[Host]

My daddy.

[Interviewer/Guest]

My daddy put me on you. Or like, older men that come to me like, my son. This how me and my son, we done found a bond. On Wednesdays, we watch your show together.

[AJ McQueen]

You know, you said something about the. Like, you know, how you running from something. In my first book I wrote, I talked about the Jonah complex. I called it the Jonah. The Jonah Complex. Like, mirroring off the story of Jonah. And then, you know, in the Bible, you know, God told him to go to Nineveh and give him the message. Like. But he ran. You know what I'm saying? He ran from bro. He's like, nah, nigga, I ain't doing none of that. You know what I'm saying? Jumped in the water, or he was in a boat, got swallowed by a whale. And then, you know, people can take. If they believe it or not. Whatever, Whatever. I don't care. But the messaging is, you know, a lot of us have a Jonah complex, which is the fear of how great we might be. Like, nigga, you might be great. Might be. Might be the one. Actually might be the chosen one. But we run running from that mud, you know what I'm saying? Running from it because we want. We don't want to be responsible for that greatness. Because more. The more I know who I am, the more I'm responsible. Or the more I'm know that I'm full of and that I'm not walking in my purpose. You know what I mean?

[Interviewer/Guest]

So it's like, I ain't going to lie. I've been feeling like that a lot lately. I don't know if it's impossible. I don't think it's impossible? Nah, I think it's just my. My therapist told me. He said, you intellectualize your emotions, and then you think.

[Host]

You think you run away from your

[Interviewer/Guest]

purpose, but the only thing you can do at this point is destroy yourself. It's the only choice you got. He said, nigga, it was like, how you. How you done? How you build this up? How you do it? Ain't no blueprint. People tell you you ain't supposed to cut through. Don't want to hear that.

[Host]

Yeah.

[AJ McQueen]

To this ride.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Don't even understand it. They like better. You know, People used to tell me all the time, like, bruh, you on TikTok, blowing up, bruh. Niggas get flagged for this shit. You say nigga like 26 times a goddamn video. Yeah, you don't.

[Host]

I don't say grape. I say rape.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I don't say shmurder. I say murder. This is how we talk. I'm not adjusting. My God. But they was like, bro, you don't never get no violations. I said, bro, I'm on purpose, bro. In that flow state, you can't do nothing with me.

[AJ McQueen]

Cause God, using that authenticity. Authenticity to. You know what I mean?

[Interviewer/Guest]

Like, so this is the thing, right? Struggle. I'm keep real with you. I tell you. Like, you my brother, right?

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

So this is the point of my life, you know? Like, everything always came easy. Me in an intellectual way. Like, school was easy. Talking to girls was easy. Making friends easy. All this shit that most people struggle with, easy. Having influence easy. I know I'm walking a room. Y' all don't know I'm in here. I'm the only person that know how to. I don't know. I'm the only person that know how to make my mama laugh. My mama don't think shit funny.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I call one of them type of mama. Like, even, like. Like, she might laugh at one of your jokes. You tell them, she'd be like, all right, nigga, enough. Like, you know what I'm saying?

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah, yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Cause she don't think shit funny.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

So you gotta think one of the hardest things for me in my life was being physically, like, disciplined after I stopped playing sports. Because pleasure, it's, like, addictive. Like, you just like, I want. That tastes good. I want. I want to look good. I want everything gotta be pleasing, right? So I said, bro, it's a level that I'm finna get to, but it's gonna come through physical discipline, and I know it, and I be running from it. And then I don't even like food. I don't even taste good to me no more. It's like that. It's like in a real way, like, I wake up and go to sleep thinking about this shit. Like, boy, do a push up. Like, you know what this shit is? You know, it's in your body. It's your temple, nigga. You know what it is? You ain't working on it cause you scared. You scared of what it's gonna come with. Cause the thing is, it's a responsibility to be that close to perfect, bro. Bro, they tell you ain't supposed to be there. Like, I'm supposed to be dead. For real, you same, bro. It's like, bro, you got like. I don't think understand this when you have a dream that like a kill you in front of your mama and your sister. That feel real. So when you tell me you had got shot, I'm like, well, it was one of the first thing I seen about it. But it's like I said, man. Bro, it's like, I don't know. Like, why the. I feel like I know this. It ain't. I don't. Like, bro, I'm not like, I don't keep. I'mma keep it being like, the music is like the moot. The music ain't the. That move me, bro. I put y' all music on and just go do. Yeah, it's affirmation. It's like good energy to put in the room, right? But it's like, bro, the first thing you said about them elders and her jobs, I'm like, bro, this is who I thought. This is exactly who I knew I was gonna meet. Because when we met the first time, it was like, man, we cut that short.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

But I was like, I'm not tripping, bro. I'm not tripping on an interview. I'm a. Like, this gonna happen exactly how it's supposed. And it just so happened, like, today was one of them days where I was feeling, like, real, real vulnerable. Like, damn, bro. Like that. Like, if. If you like, you kind of like running out of time. Cause it can only. It can only slide back facts. Like, if you don't grab. Like, if you don't grab it, you're gonna start to slip. And it's like, I know. And it's like, that's gonna be one of the hardest things for me because I have to, like, I'm gonna have to, like, vote. Like, I have to resist pleasure. And you gotta understand, like, I come from all this Addictive ass shit, bro. If it ain't. If it ain't an addiction, if it ain't food, it's sex. If ain't sex, it's drugs. Ain't drugs is alcohol. And it's like, I'm not. I want like. But I'm also a nigga. That just be like, yeah, I'm done with that shit.

[Host]

But I don't watch this shit destroy people, right?

[Interviewer/Guest]

My sister still like 22. Since she was 22 years old,

[Host]

she

[Interviewer/Guest]

can't shake the shit. And I've always been a nigga. Been able to shake shit, anything, the street, anything, a job, anything. And like, my lady tell me, like, bro, you like. She was like, you don't understand. Like, it's luck in some cases. Like, some niggas is lucky, bruh. But you like, favorite nigga like you. And then she said, if you keep getting the. She said, you know, every time you get like an epiphany or a download or you feel like God talking to you, you first heard, you come do it, tell me. And then you wanna walk around the house and talk about it all day and not do it. She was like, you know, yeah, but it's like, damn, I'm around your ass right now. That shit really punching me right now, nigga.

[AJ McQueen]

Cause it's that next level. It's that next level of who you are. You know what I'm saying? And that's a part that I feel like, even with me, like, once I got through that phase, I told you. Cause I'm on the other side of it. I'm still the same nigga who gave his stuff away and did all that, and, you know, Raspar and all that type stuff. But now I'm a refined version of that whole thing, man. When you said the girl told you gonna be a pastor, bro, it gave me chills, bro. Cause. But what that leadership looks like requires us to be a different version of ourself. You know what I'm saying? Like, it just. It requires us to be different. Like, my last awakening I went through, bro, I'm be real with you. I was in a relationship, and it was a woman that, you know, I thought I loved, whatever. And basically she told me I wasn't shit. And the reason why it hit me hard. It wasn't a relationship. We was on together for few months. It was. I thought I was exactly who I thought I was. Like, I thought. I thought I was damn near not perfect, but I was the one that was the chosen one. And she's like, Nah, you a liar. Like, you a liar. Like, you ain't really that. You heard me. And it was just where it hit me at, bro. And after that, broke up with me, all type of stuff. And I had to get back to being by myself. This is before anything hit. The music wasn't hitting. Nothing was hitting. I was in my. I was in my yard, just, you know, by myself. The solitude that I put myself in, bro. The rigorous, like, solitude. Because it's everything that you said. Like, I know. And once I make my mind up, I'm really. That. It's just the willpower of me making my mind up because I know I ain't gonna be able to recognize this version of myself. I think I know exactly who I am, but once I get there, I' ma look at him and be like, I don't even recognize you, bro. Not even just physically.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I said, like, a thing of being, like, ready?

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

You know what I'm saying? Like, this thing, bro, it's like struggle, right? Like, you want to, like. I think the biggest thing is, like, when you, like, feel like you're a man of the people, you also feel like that means you're supposed to be regular. So I go try to do regular shit. Yeah. And like, not. Not engaging in that thing that's gonna take me to the next level is just the thing that's keeping me regular. I look like everybody else, but the thing is, is like, it ain't. It ain't meant for me. And it's like, nigga don't need, like, bro. It's like, you know, I was getting these, like, just. Man, I be getting these, like, little messy. Understand, like, hearing voices and shit. But. But it's not really that. It's just, like, audible, whatever they call it. And so it's like some people get like, them visions. And then some people get like, audible.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

You know what I'm saying? So it's like, yeah, nigga. It's like you eroding. You letting it happen. Cause you wanna take the step. You scared. Scared of who you gonna be. And then it's like that. Liar. Lying. Lying to yourself.

[AJ McQueen]

Lying to yourself.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And then also, Les, you kept mentioning, lust is like lusted. Seeking pleasure, bro.

[AJ McQueen]

That was me, bro.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Lustful ass, lying ass.

[AJ McQueen]

That was me. And then when she said it, I'm

[Interviewer/Guest]

feeling like that right now. It's been the heaviest on me today. Today. Today is when it hit, like, when I woke up. Cause it's like, bro, I tried to go out last night and do some regular Shit, I don't do shit like that. I just tried to go like I wanted to. And it's like, you know. Cause you just want to blend in. And it's like, I ain't even.

[AJ McQueen]

What you not made to, but yeah,

[Interviewer/Guest]

yeah, but it's like I'm already standing out as it is. But it's like, bro, I'm God telling me, like it's another step, but it go back.

[Host]

That's the one you avoid the most

[AJ McQueen]

too, because that's the one that is that very step.

[Interviewer/Guest]

It's the one that's gonna wear you out.

[AJ McQueen]

That's going to change and be everything. That old girl who was reading the damn. The virgin that was reading the sex book said that you was finna be.

[Interviewer/Guest]

You know what I'm saying?

[AJ McQueen]

It's gonna fulfill it. And it's. And it's.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And it's also like, it ain't no going back.

[AJ McQueen]

Nah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Once you. Once you build that ethic, you can't go back.

[AJ McQueen]

Can't. I can't go back. Like where I'm at now today and

[Interviewer/Guest]

my people, like, are they lost to the flow shot? You can't go back.

[AJ McQueen]

I can't go back to that. To that version myself. It's supposed to die. It's a death, you know what I'm saying? I went to Calgary, Canada. Was it last year or something? I think it was last year or last year. I did a sweat lodge with an Indian tribe. I couldn't post about it, nothing for it, because you can't. They wouldn't let me, of course, record it, of course. But I was in a sweat lodge, bro, in the dark and with 40 people in a teepee. In a big. In a big ass teepee, like in the ground. You have to crawl to get in the. In the lodge. And I was sitting there in fetal position, but nobody could see you. It's. When I say it's the darkest it's ever been, it's darker than when you close your eyes. And I was in there and before I went in there, the chief, you got to give them offering, you know. So I gave him a cloth and some cigarettes because the tobacco and the cloth is spiritual, you know, I mean. So I gave it to him. My first time ever meeting him, gave it to him. He said, you love your trauma. I was like, huh? He was like, you got to stop. Stop leading with this and lead with this again. He said again. He was like, you love. You hold on to your trauma. Because. And he didn't say the because when I got in. Now imagine him saying that. Now you gotta go in the darkness. I crawl in a joint. I gotta pick a spot. They bring the hot coals into the sweat lodge and the hole in the ground. They put the coals in there, and it's the hottest. They red. The coals are red. Big old. I'm talking about coals almost half the size of this. They bring on a shovel and they close it, and it's dark. Can't see nobody, but it's 40 people next to you. You can't see them, but you see that red. And then you start hearing them sing and hitting the drum, bruh. I died. And it's three rounds of that, 45 minutes a piece. The hottest has ever. Like, I. I use the towel to try to. Because they give you a towel to try to block the heat, but it don't work, bro. You die. Like, you got to go inward because your body, your physical is gone. But it's similar to a cold plunge. For me, it's just the whole opposite side. Or cold plunge is the cold. It's the hot cry. I never cried like that in my life, bro. And what I was holding on to while before going into that sweat lodge, bro, I was holding on to stuff that I ain't need to. I was holding on text messages. I was holding on to conversations. I was holding on to this. I was holding on that I was in there. I heard my dad's voice and I heard my grandmother's, you know what I'm saying? Voice. And it's like, I saw them in the darkness. And the thing that I appreciate about that is the relationship. I don't think people have enough. I don't think people have a good enough relationship with their darkness, bro. For whatever reason, we've been marketed light, light, light so much that, you know, I'm saying, like, we don't spend enough time in the dark. But things are. Things grow in the dark. They don't grow in the light, like. And that's why we got to be by ourself. We got to spend intentional time by ourself. Not reactive time, intentional time. Because if you get by yourself and you spend time in the darkness, a baby grows in the dark. Plants grow in the dark. Like, everything grow in the dark. I'm in the darkness for over hour, bro, burning. And he's like, you can get out of here if you want to. All you got to do is say, with all my relations, like a cheek. It's like a secret word. But I couldn't Cause the kids was watching me, you know the end. I'm just a leader, bro. I can't. I'm gonna die in her if I got to. I cried so hard, bro, and my ego died. And everything that I was holding on to for years, you know what I mean? As soon as I got out the sweat lodge and I crawled out, the first thing I did, I went to my phone. I deleted everything. Everything, bro. All of it, man. And I was holding on to for a while because I was afraid of who I was without that, like, without them things I was holding on to. I was afraid of who I was gonna be because it was finna wipe my slate clean. And I wouldn't have no more excuses to not be that nigga that I know I'm supposed to be. I'm supposed to be that nigga like, that one, like the chosen one. But I can't be the chosen one if I'm holding on to that. So let me hold on to this, because it's stopping me from doing this. They gotta let that go, bro. I felt a relief. I felt like just something just die off of me, dog. You heard me? And. And it. It didn't. It wasn't like an immediate fix. It wasn't like church, like them laying their hands and you walking out of heel. It was a start of something, but it was a death that I ain't want to experience because that was bringing me more, I want to say, attention, but it was giving me something to. It was giving me an excuse. When I talked to God, he like, it's time to fly. Like, nah, I got this, God, I can't. I can't. I. I can't. I mean, you want me to go higher? I can't go higher. Like, I. This is. Hold this holding me down. As soon as I let that go, my everything start to change, bro. So for me, like, I had to let everything go. And I was afraid of exactly this version of myself, bro. But being leader of people, being responsible, being somebody that elders can count on, being somebody who is unrecognizable. You know what I mean? But when you unrecognizable to them, it's cause you recognizable to somebody else or to some other people. And you know what I'm saying? Now, I've been able to find. I just been able to just be recognized in a different way. But shit, really, I recognize myself differently. You heard me? Like, I recognize myself, dawg. I'm an independent artist, bro. This finna be my fourth independent tour. Like, use My own money, no cosigns. And I said cosign like nobody in the industry standing next to me saying, hey, this the one. They. I don't. Yeah, I never had that. You know what I'm saying? I got people that rock with me and I'm grateful for that. But God has been able to exalt me beyond that. And it's for his glory though. Everything that I'm doing, all the evolution that we're going to experience for the glory of God. And we all leading the flock, bro. We leaders, man. We, we the ones, bro. We the ones. But anything that's holding us back from not like the hard shit is exactly the thing that we gotta do to. Cause it's a reason why that's on our hearts. Cause it could be something else.

[Interviewer/Guest]

That shit tearing me up.

[AJ McQueen]

It could be something else though. It could be a whole nother thing. But if it's that, it's because that very thing, what comes with the mindset of that thing is gonna be the thing that teach that's gonna, that's gonna thrust us into the whole next part of our life, bro.

[Host]

You know what's wild? The older you get, the more you

[Interviewer/Guest]

realize your parents and grandparents are carrying

[Host]

entire worlds of stories that we barely know anything about. Like, there are probably so many moments

[Interviewer/Guest]

from my dad's life, I've never even

[Host]

thought to ask about what he was like at 25, what scared him, what his first real heartbreak was, what kind of dreams did he have before becoming a father.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And sometimes dads especially don't just sit

[Host]

down and volunteer these stories. You gotta pull it out of em a little bit. And that's why I really like Storyworth. Most Father's day gifts end up in a drawer somewhere. Storyworth doesn't. It gives your dad a year long experience and gives your family a book full of stories he probably never think

[Interviewer/Guest]

to tell on his own.

[Host]

Each week Storyworth sends him a question

[Interviewer/Guest]

about his life and he can respond

[Host]

however he wants, writing back over email or web voice recording. And now they even have guided phone calls so there's no apps, no tech stress, none of that. And I like that you can personalize it too. You can choose from pre written questions, write your own questions, or let Storyworth create personalized prompts based on his life and experience. Then after a year, they compile everything, his words, his photos, his stories, into a beautiful hardcover book your family gets to keep forever. Honestly, I think the best part is reading stories you never knew existed.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Like hearing your dad describe something in his own words and realizing, wow, I never knew that about you.

[Host]

That kind of stuff becomes priceless over time. Families have already used Storyworth to create over a million books and more than 50,000. Five star reviewers agree this becomes something your family will treasure. And this year they also launched the unlimited plan where you can buy once and give Storyworth memories to friends and family all year long. Plus, it comes with some of their newest features and multiple full color book copy. I use Storyworth and you should too. This year, give dad a gift that captures who he really is before the stories get harder to remember. Father's day is Sunday, June 21st. Order right now and save up to $20 at StoryWorth.com grits save up to $20 at storyworth.com grits storyworth.com grits

[AJ McQueen]

our

[Interviewer/Guest]

lady told me, she said. She said, because people know you capable of so much, you think if you just make declarations that it'll just come to. She said, but the next declaration that you got to make it, we're gonna require your action. And she said, you know, but it's the other thing too, is that within me, it's like I'm gonna have to, like, I'm have to like the. The vision that I see for myself, the vision I have for my family, it hasn't affected into like the vision I have for people yet, but the vision I have for myself and for my family. I don't look like this, but that's

[AJ McQueen]

how you know, that's how you know, whatever that vision is gonna require holding.

[Interviewer/Guest]

You know what it is? Only thing I can see is my routine. I can't see myself when I see it in my head. And I. I'm a very vivid. I can. My mind's eye is crazy. So it's like. Only thing I see is my routine. I can't never see myself. I know I don't look like that, but I could see everything else. I can see exactly how it look just like I seen everything that's happening now before it happened.

[Host]

So.

[Interviewer/Guest]

But when I seen myself doing this, I could see myself. The vision that the bigger the vision that I have for myself, like the ultimate goal and like the thing that I know that I'm gonna strive for. Cause it's the only thing on my heart for like when I think about a vision for my family, for the family that I created, I can't see myself. It's. Cause it's like it's gonna require for

[AJ McQueen]

me to hold it.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I gotta release it.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And you know the thing is, I like esoteric shit. I like going to places where people ain't go. I'm not afraid of darkness. I be telling niggas all the time, it's like. It's because I ain't let go of my darkness that y' all fought with me.

[AJ McQueen]

Facts. Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I ain't trying to become harmless. I ain't never. I don't even respect it.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

But easy. If always so easy, it's like ain't gonna understand that, bruh. You like, it's certain. It's certain people out here where it's just like, bro, that's you. That's what you. You here for this. And it's like certain other gonna come easy to you. But it's like the thing that's gonna. The only thing that's gonna make it mean something is when you think do the. That's hard.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah. And know and knowing that I wrote in my book that I gotta release this.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Like, who I am. Like, as I see myself. And like everything that I doubt.

[Host]

Everything that I.

[AJ McQueen]

That's what I about to say.

[Interviewer/Guest]

All my. All the things I've already like, made agreements with. Yeah.

[AJ McQueen]

The kind. Everything. But. But. But the.

[Interviewer/Guest]

The next hardening.

[AJ McQueen]

But the evolved version of you is a whole. It's not even the same. It wouldn't even fit in them spaces no more. A plant. A plant don't grow in the same pot that it's in. You got to get a whole another plant pothole. That plant you got in that corner. When that thing grow, it can't be in that corner no more. You supposed to. The world supposed to. But that growth gonna be. But that's the reason why the glory gonna be so big. It's because of every. You got to. It's a dying to.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Yeah.

[AJ McQueen]

To get there. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's gonna be the everything we don't want to do. Everything we don't want to do.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I don't even think. I don't even know if we podcasting that. Like, what I'm telling you, bro. This is telling you, bro.

[AJ McQueen]

I feel it, though.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I was like, damn, man. I don't want this to come up here today no more.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Cuz I was like, I can't. I ain't going to be able to be nothing. I ain't going to be able to talk about nothing else. Cuz I already felt it when I woke up.

[AJ McQueen]

That's necessary, though.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And so like, the thing is, it's like. Yeah. It's an embrace Too like we embrace each other. It's like. Damn, Damn, bro. Yeah, I just got to go to do it now. And you know, I think the thing is, is that, you know, I'm grateful. I'm grateful to start my day. Like I'm saying, I don't know what time it. I don't know.

[AJ McQueen]

You can do me a favor. Oh, huh. You. You can grab that book out of.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Yeah, we 20 out.

[AJ McQueen]

It's behind, it's behind my. The. The passing seat.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Appreciate you pulling.

[AJ McQueen]

Nah, bro, I appreciate you having here.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I got some work to do. I ain't gonna lie. But that, that very humbling though to hear you say it though. Because you know, I think the thing is like even you admitting that, it's like people don't see you as. They don't see you as the things that you knew you had to overcome. And it's like I'm. I'm always trying to show up.

[Host]

So perfect.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Not really perfect, but just like the assurance, the insurance make you feel like you don't got nothing to work on. Yeah, I'm confident in who I am. But I sit with myself though.

[AJ McQueen]

Cause you know. Yeah, you know, I know. But that's the thing. We all, bro, we all know though.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

We know.

[AJ McQueen]

And I knew I would, bro. I knew I wasn't shit for the sake of knowing. I knew it. I knew it when she all.

[Host]

She.

[AJ McQueen]

She told me what I already knew. I just know. I didn't know she could see it.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Hey man, it'd be the worst because like the thing about them, like the thing about women, bro, let me see right through you.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And especially when you're vulnerable and there's the emotional, you know, the emotional vulnerability beyond sexual attachment, anything like that. It's like you get comfortable so you stop trying to show off. And once you stop trying to show off, you see you as you really are. They'll analyze out you, bro.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And so I think the thing for me is like even my, My old lady said this to me, like lying ass and you lying. What you lying for? She's like, it's like just cuz you tell the truth very well. Don't mean.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah, especially. Especially. That's why I about to say especially. We lied ourselves.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And it's like. And she said it don't mean. It don't mean. It ain't mean that you ain't who you are. It don't mean you ain't earning. I don't mean you don't deserve it. It's like if you Wanted to have an impact like this idea like these followers and this showing how this. She said, you haven't even. You don't even know what the. You don't even know how it looked when it's actualized because you won't do the next thing. You won't do the thing that's gonna make it mean something, that's gonna feel. It ain't gonna mean nothing if you. Because it's you. And it's like, bruh. It's like. And then I got her voice in my head and I got my voice in my head and I got. Yeah. And it's like, oh, man, you know, I believe in the ancestors. I know they look out for me, but I know they chastise me too, bro.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And a lot of people don't know what that. They don't know that side of it of being chastised.

[AJ McQueen]

Like, what most high say he chastised those he love. You know what I mean? But I feel like, bro, I'm excited for you.

[Interviewer/Guest]

You though.

[AJ McQueen]

I ain't going to lie. I'm excited for you, cuz. It's.

[Interviewer/Guest]

It's.

[AJ McQueen]

It's. It's in the way. Like it's already there. Everything you saying is because of what's about to happen.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I know, man.

[AJ McQueen]

It's already. That's why, that's why this whole thing happened. The way it happens is because of what's about to happen, bro. F. To be niggas going to have to reintroduce their self.

[Interviewer/Guest]

You see what I'm saying? And we both. We both have a. We both do our. By.

[AJ McQueen]

Yes. Independent.

[Interviewer/Guest]

So, you know, the thing is like, I could work with an agency. We help me with the touring because it is extensive same. But I. I had to accept. I. I came to the thing this morning. I had to tell him. I was like, damn, bro, it ain't no fun when you got to be the. To pay for everything that stop being fun.

[AJ McQueen]

I'm telling my lady that I be, I be. Look, I be. She be getting them. She be hearing me talk about, damn, damn.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I gotta do like, hey, bro, the thing is, is that I seen it on your website.

[AJ McQueen]

Yes, sir, that's yours.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I. I said, man. I was like, I said, man, bro, don't understand how much work going to me. Like the, the part that I enjoy is 90 minutes.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Before and after that 90 minutes something, huh? Yeah. Huh huh. Like, damn, that start being fun quick.

[AJ McQueen]

That same thing.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Then it's like, well, I'm also like, damn, extremely Blessed that I can do it.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah, same. Same, bro.

[Interviewer/Guest]

So you gotta take what come with it. It's like, it feels very isolated, feel very lonely. And the criticism that you give yourself, like, damn, bro, if I couldn't do this, like, would y'? All? You know, you start. You start that self deprecating, you start unraveling.

[Host]

Right?

[Interviewer/Guest]

But I was like, damn, bro, you know what? If I don't pay him, who gonna pay him? Yeah, bro, if I don't get a man a job, who gonna give it to him? If I don't do all this that it takes for me to get on that stage. I don't know. I do all this to get on that stage.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I get all this to get in front of the camera.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

But just, I don't know. I don't know what I'm impacting on this side of that. Complain about that. You complaining about having the means.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

It ain't even complaining. It's just like, damn. You don't understand what it come with. But when you finally understand it come with it.

[AJ McQueen]

It's like, I think when you. When you can ultimately sit back and be proud of yourself for doing the hardest shit ever, it's like, we did the hard shit to get her now. That ain't hard no more. Oh, my God, it ain't hard no more, dog. Like, this ain't hard no more.

[Interviewer/Guest]

It's routine.

[AJ McQueen]

It's routine.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I want to tell my homeboy, like, bro, you gotta understand, bro, this is not a nice dinner. This is a standard. Once you start doing that in your life, like, once it stopped becoming like something to be excited. This is your standard.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Accept that. Then you ain't gonna be just. Yeah, then I.

[Host]

Then you can't impress me.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Cause it's like all this. This worldly is like, it's frivolous. It come and go. It's all for sure.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

You know what I'm saying? The best food in the world is just a showcase of food facts and shit. Probably your mama cooked better than that.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Cause she love these niggas, is putting on a show. And my thing is, I'm trying to strip away all the showman part of it and really get to the part. It's like, hey, man, you know, like, any city I want to go to, anywhere I want to go, they got a venue for me and they got people there that want to see me. Yeah, nigga, you got. I done transcended that phone. Same people coming, people pulling up. See, like, it's different when you know, you can get a million likes.

[AJ McQueen]

Well, you can translate that to butts in the seeds.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Can a hundred people. Will 100 people come to see.

[AJ McQueen]

Can 100 people pull up?

[Interviewer/Guest]

When people come to see you, man, it's different, man.

[Host]

You're part of their life.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And it's like, if I've gotten to the place where people want me to be a part of their life, like in a physical.

[AJ McQueen]

Right when they plan for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but that's leading the flock.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Yeah, but that's the thing that I talk about communion too. It's like I wanna go to a building on Sunday and talk about God. I just don't really want nothing to

[Host]

do with the religion.

[AJ McQueen]

Same. Same exact thing. That's why I created God. That's why it's God body, though. Like, you know, God is. My whole mantra is God is in our body like that. God, arm, leg, leg, arm, head. Of course, God being in our body, bro. And I just wanted people to wake up to that, like, same. The power that the person who created the cosmos, energy, the universe is literally operates through us, bro. We the church, everywhere we go. You know what I'm saying? Everywhere we go. We the church, bro. We just had. Yeah, we just. We just. We just had that.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And we in granny house.

[AJ McQueen]

And we in granny house, shout out to Granny. You know what I'm saying? Like, we, we, we. We just had that, bro. Everywhere we go. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, bro.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I ain't gonna hold you, bro. It'd be cool to have fun.

[AJ McQueen]

Hey, you know I do.

[Interviewer/Guest]

But, man, this, you gotta understand too. It's like also coming from a space where, like, there's years where I was only operating like this, so I wasn't having fun. And I was. Because I'm excited to grow and elevate. I'm excited to talk to people where we growing each other and we have a church for real. But people don't understand. It's like it's balance, right? Yeah, it's like instead. But like, you don't understand. Like, in order for your pendulum to swing to a space of balance, you damn. They end up going the whole other direction.

[AJ McQueen]

You kind of got to though, you

[Interviewer/Guest]

heard me, experience those extremes, man. You ain't gonna know what it's gonna feel like in a.

[Host]

My.

[AJ McQueen]

I talk about my extremes. Like, I. I don't mind. Like, I'll be telling people my extremes. My. My extremes may sound too extreme to other people, but I'm telling you, I went that whole way, you know, What I'm saying, I went that whole way. I was telling my lady that, and she been getting on me. Hey, I went all that way. The pendulum didn't swung that whole way, and it swung this way. I'm right right now.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Yeah.

[AJ McQueen]

You know what I'm saying? And I. And I. I want to be her, but they don't. Don't think I don't know what's going on. Don't think I don't have the things I enjoy a part of me enjoys. But as we evolve, bro, our fun change. Everything change, bro. Food, change. Place, change. Things that used to get me excited change. You heard me. I used to think I wanted this. I don't want that. But I needed to go figure out if I wanted that. So you know what I mean? So live experience. Be authentic. God ain't using who we pretending to be. Like, you heard me. I'm gonna be exactly who I am.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And boy, God, I don't even. Like, God don't even acknowledge the person you pretend.

[AJ McQueen]

Hell no. Who is that?

[Interviewer/Guest]

Why you ain't heard from any man?

[AJ McQueen]

Oh, we. Who was that? God? Like, who is that?

[Interviewer/Guest]

I ain't lie to yourself.

[AJ McQueen]

Right? So, bro, we right where we supposed to be, bro.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Yeah. I think the thing is, like, I've.

[Host]

I've.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I've encountered a couple of evolutions in my life. That's why I was curious about yours. It was. It's very. It's. It's wild to see the synchronicity in it, but it's also like. It's also wild to recognize it happening to me again.

[AJ McQueen]

Same.

[Interviewer/Guest]

So it's like. It's happening in real time, and I'm nigga, like, God damn. But again, yeah, Damn.

[AJ McQueen]

It's never ending, though.

[Interviewer/Guest]

You just did this shit, man.

[AJ McQueen]

I don't think it ever ends.

[Interviewer/Guest]

It don't.

[AJ McQueen]

It don't, bro.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And it's like, damn. Every time you think you got it, you know, it's like, smooth. I smoothed this out 90°. I ain't go to shit like that. It's like, okay, well, this is just one wall. You finished n go build the next. Yeah, bro, you smoothed it out and it looked good.

[Host]

Beautiful.

[Interviewer/Guest]

You got three more walls to go

[AJ McQueen]

and be like, damn. But everything that we doing, though, it seemed like it's for us is really for everybody else. And that's one thing that I stay reminded.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Yeah. It ain't for the collective, bro.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah, it ain't for me, actually.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Yeah. Because the thing is, is that words are powerful, but, like, movements Require action, bro. Facts. And I think. I think the thing about me is, like. And it's clearly used, you know, the reason why the elders come is cause,

[AJ McQueen]

like, the action, the demonstration.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Yeah.

[AJ McQueen]

Make a demonstration powerful. And that's what I respect about. You know what I'm saying? Like, nips and I got. It's a whole. It's a whole. It ain't that many of us, but it's niggas out here who's lived and lived now who demonstration's powerful, bro. You know what I'm saying? The Fred's, the Garveys, the Malcolm. You can talk all that you want to talk. What's your demonstration like, bro?

[Interviewer/Guest]

For sure.

[AJ McQueen]

Like, that's. That's like.

[Interviewer/Guest]

You know, people can scare you, and people start putting you on comparison to them people, and you try to shy away from the comparison. But when you was learning about them people, you wanted to be like them. Exactly, bro. Now that you like them, you like.

[AJ McQueen]

I don't know. Yeah, but I don't know why that's. I was telling somebody. I forgot who I was talking to. I was like, man, I get compared to everybody that's dead, though. I like, is anybody alive? You know what I'm saying? But then. But that's what this is. That's what. That's how we get out here and live. We start meeting people. They're like, nah, bro. It's somebody that's on that journey. There's somebody that feel that way. It's somebody that's walking through them paths, and we just got to start embracing each other more that way because we. Kindred spirit.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Yeah.

[AJ McQueen]

I mean, like.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And also, like. Like, like, you know, I think the thing that I'm really learning through all of this is like. Like. Like, it's this. It's a fight to feel perfect.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Like, if you release perfection, like.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Because then, like. Because every time you show up on camera, that's what the idea is, that you should show up perfect.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And so. But that ain't our play for the camera. It's not a show. And it's like, it's not for makeup.

[AJ McQueen]

That's a fly on the wall.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Yeah, that. That's just there. But, like, I think the thing is, is that once you release perfection, once you release this, I like, Once you admit, like, I'm flawed, too. I'm up, too. Yeah. Like, I done made it here, but then I still got to work on. Yeah. Then you give permission for people, everybody else.

[AJ McQueen]

And that's why the movement look like that's why. Because it's a whole bunch of imperfect people, bro. Whole bunch of humans.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And in harmony, we might be perfect together.

[AJ McQueen]

Let's assume that everybody's human. Then what do we do next? You know what I'm saying? Like, let's just assume everybody human, bro. Stop all this, man. Like, weaponizing knowledge, weaponizing spirituality. Weaponizing like you grateful to, you know, that's grace that got you here.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Relax. Yeah, I think the thing, you know, I'm very, I'm very, very like, I, I, I pay attention to how people treat others. Cuz this is a deep, subconscious thing about how you treat yourself.

[AJ McQueen]

Facts, we all reflections of each other, bro.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Yeah.

[AJ McQueen]

Something to me, something to you. We see it.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Things that, like, the things that I don't like about people the most is the things that I want to get rid of within myself. Like if a. If like, bro, I used to be such a. I didn't speak for a long time. I was a very, like, quiet, militant, observant. And then I met somebody that valued my voice. And then I started being. I was loud.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And she's like, God damn, why you yelling? I'm like, man, I don't feel like I ain't never said shit before. Wow. And then she was like, ain't it funny that it took for you to start getting annoyed by loud people for you to quiet the fuck down? It was like when I started noticing

[Host]

people was loud, like, damn, why you talk so loud?

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I was like, oh, yeah.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

All right.

[Interviewer/Guest]

I can be heard at this volume, too.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

And it's like, you know, like little, short little things come across. You nobody listen to loud people. Nobody.

[AJ McQueen]

Yeah.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Cause I could tell you want to be heard. It's like, are you trying to be heard?

[AJ McQueen]

Trying to. Yeah. You trying to be heard.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Ain't no reason. You ain't gotta yell.

[Host]

My ears work just fine.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Yeah, but it's like these evolutions that you go through in life, and it's like by admitting it, it's like you said, we give so like a school of fish and they synchronous. Like, how they, how they in sync. It's like they perfect together, but they all just individual fish.

[AJ McQueen]

And that's how we change the world. That right there is how we impact it. That's how we leave our mark. I know. The thing is, I know I ain't gonna be revival. I'm okay with that. I made peace with that. You know what I mean? And so with that mindset, I'm live a legacy life. You know what I mean and do things that are challenging and push myself and to be the best version of myself that I can to inspire others to do the same. Make peace with it.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Bingo.

[AJ McQueen]

Cool with it.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Appreciate you.

[AJ McQueen]

Appreciate you.

[Interviewer/Guest]

Faith was on my side. Yeah. Yeah.

[AJ McQueen]

They say without the proper labor, faith don't stand a chance. I put my faith in faith and stand on fertile land I planted seeds Adam deed turning the trees before rest in peace Tease get printed to me this episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome? That's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50 page restoration block. Or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it, ready to make anything online make sense. There's no place like Chrome.

[Host]

Check responses, setup required Compatibility and Availability

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Various 18 this episode is brought to you by Google Health. Stop chasing someone else's definition of health. What matters is what's healthy for you. Google Health offers a new kind of coach built with Gemini for effortless tracking, sleep insights and holistic coaching tailored to you. Visit googlestore.com to learn more and start a new relationship with your health. Requires Google Account, Google Health App Internet and Google Health Premium Subscription. Features subject to change availability and results vary. Not intended for medical purposes. Works independently of Gemini Apps. Check responses for accuracy.

[AJ McQueen]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same Premium Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities, so do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to [e-mail]

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