Episode 56 - The Transition from Chaos

Summary

Grits and Eggs Podcast Episode 56 - "The Transition from Chaos"

Release Date: March 22, 2025
Host: Deante’ Kyle
Guest: Big Ice

---

Overview

In Episode 56 of the Grits and Eggs Podcast, host Deante’ Kyle and co-host Big Ice navigate a deep and personal conversation centered around the theme "The Transition from Chaos." The episode delves into pressing societal issues, personal struggles with addiction, the impact of violence, and the journey towards stability and mental health. Through candid discussions, relatable anecdotes, and listener call-ins, Deante’ and Big Ice offer insights, support, and advice aimed at uplifting the Black community.

---

Addressing Violence in High Schools

The episode opens with a serious discussion about a recent violent incident involving a high school track athlete. Deante’ Kyle brings attention to a case where a senior from I.C. Norcom High School in Portsmouth was charged with assault and battery after her baton struck another student during a relay event.

Deante’ Kyle [04:09]: "High school track athlete faces misdemeanor charge... Bethany Harrison... a misdemeanor charge of assault and battery was issued against every in the matter."

Big Ice echoes Deante's sentiments, emphasizing the gravity of the incident and its viral spread.

Big Ice [05:09]: "Yeah, we've seen the video."

They critique the normalization of such violence, especially within the Black community, and express concern over the lack of accountability.

Deante’ Kyle [05:38]: "I don't advocate for black people going to jail... But this is a sociopath."

Philanthropy and Community Support

Shifting focus, the hosts discuss their commitment to philanthropy and community support. Deante’ emphasizes the importance of tangible assistance over mere financial giveaways, advocating for job placements and resource sharing to uplift individuals within the community.

Deante’ Kyle [08:17]: "We want to do some more philanthropy and looking out... getting you a job or... looking out in any way we can do it."

Big Ice supports this viewpoint, highlighting the fine line between offering help and avoiding enabling dependency.

Big Ice [08:39]: "You know how y'all do."

Personal Struggles with Addiction and Mental Health

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to personal narratives surrounding addiction and mental health. Deante’ Kyle opens up about his long-term battle with alcohol and substance abuse, revealing the challenges of acknowledging and addressing these issues.

Deante’ Kyle [44:33]: "I've been dealing with alcohol and some type of drugs since I was 15... I might have a problem, for real."

Big Ice offers empathy and support, reinforcing the difficulty of overcoming addiction without professional help.

Big Ice [45:19]: "I would think you an alcoholic, but I just think you, like, socially drank, though."

Deante’ discusses the stigma associated with seeking help, particularly through traditional avenues like Alcoholics Anonymous, and the internal conflict between pride and vulnerability.

Deante’ Kyle [55:12]: "I'm too prideful to get help, but... definitely gonna have to, like, prioritize some type of mental health, like, therapy."

Transitioning from Chaos to Stability

Building on their personal experiences, the hosts explore the broader theme of transitioning from a life of chaos to one of stability. Deante’ Kyle reflects on how a chaotic environment can lead to self-sabotaging behaviors and the difficulty of adapting to a more peaceful, stable life.

Deante’ Kyle [63:37]: "Transitioning out of a survivor's mentality right into stability can be difficult... nervous system is not adjusted to peaceful environment."

Big Ice concurs, underscoring the challenge of breaking free from ingrained behaviors that stem from chaotic backgrounds.

Big Ice [66:08]: "Absolutely."

Impact of Pop Culture and Media

Deante’ and Big Ice critique the influence of pop culture and media on societal norms and behaviors. They reference platforms like Shade Room and World Star Hip Hop, discussing how they contribute to the normalization of violence and negative stereotypes within the Black community.

Deante’ Kyle [67:14]: "Pure violence. Pure violence."

This segment serves as a commentary on how media shapes perceptions and behaviors, emphasizing the need for more positive and constructive representations.

Family Dynamics and Domestic Violence

The conversation shifts to family dynamics, with Deante’ Kyle sharing personal stories of domestic violence and its long-term effects. He discusses the cyclical nature of violence within families and its devastating impact on children.

Deante’ Kyle [71:25]: "It's an endless cycle. And it's a cycle of violence."

Big Ice adds his perspective on the importance of breaking this cycle to prevent further emotional and psychological harm.

Big Ice [71:36]: "Yeah."

Listener Call-Ins: Relationship and Recovery Advice

The latter part of the episode features listener call-ins, where Deante’ and Big Ice provide advice on personal relationship struggles and recovery from addiction.

Caller 1: A 26-year-old seeking advice on building a personal multimedia company and maintaining integrity while uplifting the community.

Deante’ Kyle [81:12]: "You want to build your fan base up incrementally... consistency and quality will get you where you need to be."

Caller 2: A stay-at-home mom of four grappling with her husband's infidelity and mental health issues.

Deante’ Kyle [86:02]: "You need an escape plan... Make a five-year plan."

Big Ice [88:06]: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put that shit in the safe."

Concluding Thoughts

Deante’ Kyle wraps up the episode by reiterating the importance of honesty, accountability, and community support in overcoming personal and societal challenges. He encourages listeners to seek help, support each other, and strive for personal growth and stability.

Deante’ Kyle [73:57]: "By being open about it, it helped me deal with it better by not internalizing it."

Big Ice [87:00]: "Yeah."

The episode concludes with a reaffirmation of the hosts' commitment to supporting their listeners and fostering a sense of community and resilience.

Deante’ Kyle [78:04]: "Take care of yourselves and each other. We out."

---

Notable Quotes

• Deante’ Kyle [04:09]: "High school track athlete faces misdemeanor charge... a misdemeanor charge of assault and battery was issued against every in the matter."

• Deante’ Kyle [44:33]: "I've been dealing with alcohol and some type of drugs since I was 15... I might have a problem, for real."

• Deante’ Kyle [63:37]: "Transitioning out of a survivor's mentality right into stability can be difficult... nervous system is not adjusted to peaceful environment."

• Deante’ Kyle [71:25]: "It's an endless cycle. And it's a cycle of violence."

• Deante’ Kyle [86:02]: "You need an escape plan... Make a five-year plan."

• Big Ice [88:06]: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put that shit in the safe."

---

Key Takeaways

1. Awareness of Violence and Its Impact: Understanding the seriousness of violence within schools and its ripple effects on the community.
2. Community Support Over Financial Aid: Emphasizing the importance of providing tangible support, like job placements, rather than just financial help.
3. Personal Struggles with Addiction: Acknowledging the challenges of overcoming addiction and the importance of seeking professional help despite societal stigmas.
4. Transitioning to Stability: Recognizing the difficulty of moving from a life of chaos to one of stability and the necessity of adapting one's mindset.
5. Critical View of Pop Culture: Highlighting the negative influences of certain media platforms and advocating for more positive representations.
6. Breaking the Cycle of Family Violence: Understanding the long-term effects of domestic violence and the importance of breaking these harmful cycles.
7. Listener Support and Advice: Offering practical advice to listeners facing relationship issues and personal struggles, reinforcing the podcast's role as a supportive community platform.

---

Conclusion

Episode 56 of the Grits and Eggs Podcast serves as a poignant exploration of the tumultuous journey from chaos to stability. Through honest and heartfelt discussions, Deante’ Kyle and Big Ice shed light on critical issues affecting individuals and the broader Black community. By sharing personal experiences and providing actionable advice, they create a space for listeners to reflect, seek help, and find strength in unity and resilience.

Transcript

[Deontay Kyle]

Your data is like gold to hackers. They'll sell it to the highest bidder. Are you protected? McAfee helps shield you blocking suspicious texts, malicious emails and fraudulent websites. McAfee Secure VPN lets you browse safely and its AI powered tech scam detector spots threats instantly. You'll also get up to $2 million of award winning antivirus and identity theft protection. All for just $39.99 for your first year. Visit mcafee.com/incancel anytime terms apply. Y woke up in the morning and to God be the glory Thankful for.

[Big Ice]

Another day to tell my story Put.

[Deontay Kyle]

My opinions in the universe and let them orbit I'm from the dirty south with a dirty mouth my knee orbit miss things things on me like a nigga Norbit had to refuse them cuz my bitch no rest fusion she gorgeous as I d my sons up and kiss my daughter forehead tell them we gonna get this money to my pockets more bit remember living in apartments now we playing mortgage you ain't gotta like a regardless baby I'm blessed and I keep that bleak with me we like grits and eggs as you sip your.

[Big Ice]

Coffee Flick your cigarette and let a vent yeah, we back.

[Deontay Kyle]

Oh we back. Grits and eggs podcast episode 56. I'm your host, Deontay Kyle. But who's behind the camera?

[Big Ice]

Big ice cup cat ice big bucket hat Deontay. Hey, let's do it.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. Crossover.

[Big Ice]

The crossover collab.

[Deontay Kyle]

As always. Email me all your music submissions and advice [e-mail] that's deontayeontaykyle.com that's the email also for booking and inquiries. Right now deontayantecow.com deontay.cow across all platforms. Been kind of going up on Twitter a little bit lately.

[Big Ice]

I see you going up.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, we're gonna try to. Hey now, ain't nothing wrong with another little promotional tool, you know what I'm saying?

[Big Ice]

Why not?

[Deontay Kyle]

Why not? A lot of bots on Twitter.

[Big Ice]

Definitely bots on Twitter. That's bad crazy work.

[Deontay Kyle]

No, it's nasty. Like everything is botted out crazy. You don't even know who you talking to for real.

[Big Ice]

It should be called bots.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, that's what it should be called. Bots and ass. We got a good merch. Deontay kyle.com good merch. Grab your bucket hat.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Grab you a journal. I didn't even mean to do that. Grab your journal. Get some of them thoughts out. Get you some of these embroidered tees.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Very nice.

[Big Ice]

Good work.

[Deontay Kyle]

Shout out to the ghetto cousins. We're gonna have them over here pretty soon. Probably for a Patreon episode. Just do a little crossover collab type vibe.

[Big Ice]

That'd be good.

[Deontay Kyle]

They some good people, man. Spade, me and Shouta are definitely Spades partners for sure.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, I can do that.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. We gonna run the table wherever we go from now on. We gonna run that bitch Patreon. Grizzly Nays podcast ain't nothing but $8. $8? You ain't got $8?

[Big Ice]

$8.

[Deontay Kyle]

It's growing over there. That's a safe space. I'll be getting some of my thoughts off over there on the Patreon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get some of my off, man. Tight knit community, you know what I'm saying? I'm with it. 657, 234 eggs. That's 657-234-3447. For your call ins. We're trying to do some call ins yesterday with Jamila, Jamila and Audie. But the tequila, man. Damn.

[Big Ice]

Goddamn tequila.

[Deontay Kyle]

Goddamn tequila. Every time got the best of me yesterday, man. Hey, man. We're gonna have a brief discussion about alcoholism later on. Addictive tendencies. But first, let's talk about violence. Shorty crack.

[Big Ice]

Not funny.

[Deontay Kyle]

It's not funny. High school track athlete faces misdemeanor charge. Faces a misdemeanor charge of assault and battery after a now viral video showed her hidden competitions head with her baton during a relay event. Senior at I.C. norcom High School in Portsmouth was running second leg of the 4 by 200 meter when her baton struck Kaylin Tucker, a junior from Brookville High School in the head. Happened March 4th during the Virginia State High School National Virginia State High School League Championships at Liberty University in Lynchburg. Bethany Harrison, the Commonwealth's attorney for the city of Lynchburg, confirmed to ABC News on Wednesday that a misdemeanor charge of assault and battery was issued against every in the matter. Additional details on the case were not immediately available. What more do we need?

[Big Ice]

Yeah, we've seen the video.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yo, she hit her. She hit. She. She hit her in the head. Like, what's your boy with the kendo stick? Like, when that hit Shane McMahon, he fell. It's not funny.

[Big Ice]

It's not funny.

[Deontay Kyle]

I'm talking about the Shane McMahon N. It's funny. It's just what made it make me think of. Yo, are we talking about misdemeanor? I know she a child. Look, I don't advocate for black people going to jail. I'm never going to advocate for children Having their futures ruined. But this is a sociopath.

[Big Ice]

Yeah. And then she get on tv crying, crying.

[Deontay Kyle]

And then you niggas out there having a rally. Oh, we support you. We. Hey, hey. We can't support everything, all right? That was black on black. That was black on Black.

[Big Ice]

Crime in 4K.

[Deontay Kyle]

In 4K. Nobody runs like that.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, she was.

[Deontay Kyle]

She was mad. Cause she already had bent the corner, started smoking her boots. She was. We gonna slow that down. Yeah, we going to slow that down.

[Big Ice]

Clearly.

[Deontay Kyle]

And then I think they said Shorty had like a fractured skull or something.

[Big Ice]

Like, possibility of a fractured skull. Yeah, concussion. Definitely a concussion.

[Deontay Kyle]

Definitely a concussion.

[Big Ice]

Possibility of a fractured skull.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, she cracked her in the head with a baton, bro.

[Big Ice]

If it's a fractured skull, I don't know the state. I don't know the state laws of Virginia, but in Georgia, that would be aggravated assault.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Big Ice]

Cuz, you al. You've altered the.

[Deontay Kyle]

You going down the road. Yeah, yeah, let's just go and call the sp. Yeah. Going prison.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

The way she was on tv, just crying, like the tears was flowing too. I was like, oh, we're dealing with a real psycho.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, she's psychopath. She will kill you.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. Nah, she got. Her parents got to sleep with. That's what. Don't call me white girl said. That's what Mona said. She was like, the parents gotta sleep with one eye open. Cause she gonna kill y'all next. Tell you, like, let them bring that shit up in the wrong setting.

[Big Ice]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

She's going off, gonna strangle you in your sleep. It's gonna be over with. Y'all keep an eye on her for real. No, that's a dangerous young woman, man.

[Big Ice]

To go there and cry.

[Deontay Kyle]

No, but like, the thing is, like, real heavy tears coming out of one eye.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

I was like, yeah, she's crazy.

[Big Ice]

One eye.

[Deontay Kyle]

Denzel. Yeah, that's how Denzel cried in a movie In Glory. Yeah.

[Big Ice]

With the one eyed tear drop.

[Deontay Kyle]

You get with that one eye tear, man. Hey, man, that. That was like pure manipulation on display, you know what I'm saying? That's unfortunate, man. Shout out to the. To the family of the affected. Of the victim. You know, hopefully that. Hopefully Shorty, you know, she getting the care she need. That's Kayin Tucker. Shout out to the Tucker family. Hope y'all holding your heads. Y'all doing good. That was. I. I didn't mean to say hold your head like that, but. All right, let's move on.

[Big Ice]

Let's get up out of here. Let's get up out of here.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, we did.

[Big Ice]

We did what we need to do. Let's get up out of there.

[Deontay Kyle]

Shout out to everybody that reached out and helped my homie a kill out with his job prospects. Yeah, he got him a road map. Now he know. He know what he need to do. Shout out to community. We want to do some more philanthropy and looking out. You know, some simple stuff like we trying to help shorty with transportation. She didn't hit back. She didn't get back to me. But I think that more may. More so be like a pride thing. Like, probably. Probably just want to get that off.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

But, yeah, we like to be solution oriented and we got a community and want to help other people out in the community. So I'm not just gonna say if you need help, hit us up. But if it's something tangible and feasible we can do, like getting you a job or. You know what I'm saying, looking out in any way we can do it. But don't, don't, don't. Don't do the most. All right, Fair warning.

[Big Ice]

You know how y'all do.

[Deontay Kyle]

No is, man. I'm $10,000 short on the rent. All right, bro, we ain't doing that.

[Big Ice]

My car got repoed. He bought 5,000 of them things, dog.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, let me get 5k real quick. Nah, we're not doing that. We're not just giving away money. You know what I'm saying? We just, like, look at it as a networking type situation, you know what I'm saying? If you go into a new city, you need help in a new city, you need job placement, resources, things like that. We could look out, you know what I mean? I'm not going to. I don't think we should do anything like cash based, because then shit just get weird.

[Big Ice]

Shit get wicked.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. Start coming up with leukemia.

[Big Ice]

Yeah. All types.

[Deontay Kyle]

Now I got leukemia.

[Big Ice]

Yeah. The.

[Deontay Kyle]

What we gonna do? Let's pay for this radiation, man. Come on, Come on. Let's band together. Let's get my whole hands. Just whole hands.

[Big Ice]

Send the money to the cash out.

[Deontay Kyle]

Send the money to the cash. And we're gonna pay their medical. Yeah, no, we can't do that.

[Big Ice]

Not doing that.

[Deontay Kyle]

That's egregious, though.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

So we was having a conversation, piggybacking off of this situation. We was talking about last week with putting your children in predominantly white spaces. People was being dense. Look, if we can break down all these different nuanced things about this situation and provide examples and provide examples of the effects of it, then obviously we understand the other side. Now the bottom line being you think white people is better may not necessarily be the mentality that most people have, but you have to understand that some of y'all are doing this as a status symbol for yourselves as adult and you're not realizing the impact, the lasting impact that it's going to have on your kids. It's a, it's a, we move into this nicer neighborhood, I get higher salary job. Now that is real. Okay. But we understand the other side. We understand that people think it's a better opportunity, which is why we broke it down the way we did.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

And our stance on that is firm. Okay. I'm not changing my mind about that. I don't care. Like I, I, I understand that you have your own reasoning, but the facts are the facts. You know what I mean? Now maybe this is my own opinion and, but you know what ain't my opinion? The stories that have come from that and the trauma people have expressed that they experienced and still deal with to this day because of those situations we have 40 year old women talking about, they still deal with this, they still go to therapy for this. This is a very real situation. And I understand status. But you have to also understand that if we want to get to a space where we're like really talking about doing community work and, and giving back to the community and buying back the block, that means you don't take the, your newfound resources and remove them from the community. Because what, this is what the community, this is what happens in the community when you leave because you make more money. Now I'm not, and I'm, and I'm no way advocating for you to stay in a situation amongst others who are living in abject poverty or anything like that. Because you know how is when they broke and you got a little something nice they see as an opportunity to take. So I, I'm saying be logical and rational. Right. But when you leave, you take occupation with you. You take the, the monetary resources and the networking resources that you have and you take a great mind when we talking about your child and your children. You know, if you've climbed a ladder and you've maintained some Success, this is 2025. Black people have seemingly fully integrated themselves into the middle class of some sorts. At least out of the projects type vibes. Like maybe they could stay in a nice apartment complex, whatever, whatever. Or townhomes or just single family homes. But most, they don't tore down most of projects anyway.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

You know Four seasons. That ain't even.

[Big Ice]

That's gone.

[Deontay Kyle]

All this shit gone, you know? I'm saying. So now that brings me to my second point. We do speak from a place of privilege by living in Atlanta, because you can go in Atlanta and experience every class of black people, right? So you can go and work, live in a working class, middle class, suburban black neighborhood in Atlanta. I, I mean, I live in one now. I only got one white neighbor and she on the way out of life. God damn, she's old. She looks crazy. Yeah, even it's like she looks crazy. She looks a little reptilian by the skin.

[Big Ice]

Well, they usually do when they get old.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the gravity, boy. Boy, yeah, boy, if you think the sun hates him, what do you see what gravity do? But I say that to say this, we do speak from a place of privilege being in Atlanta, but I also have to say this. When I stayed in Wilmington, North Carolina, we lived in a working class black neighborhood, you know what I'm saying? Now some niggas look at that and say the hood, you know, whatever. It didn't feel like that.

[Big Ice]

I think anywhere black people go, they go into hood.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It just didn't feel like that. I mean, because I've been to much worse places. I don't, I don't parlay in some of the roughest, some of the roughest, the real trenches, you know what I mean? I didn't been there. It's like, oh, well, I ain't grow up like this, you know what I'm saying? But at the same time, even when we moved to Douglasville, like we talked about, you know, we was moved, we moved here when white flight was active. Yeah, they was getting the on, you know what I mean? So as much as I don't advocate for more people moving to Atlanta, it's just an experience. It's a very unique experience because it's a utopia for black people in a sense. Like you can go everywhere and everybody black, even in government, even in local government. Now, Douglasville, like, the sheriff is black, the mayor is black. Black judges, black judges, you know, it's a real thing, you know what I mean? So I do understand that that's not a reality in some places, you know what I mean? Like, sure, if you live in Indian, Indianapolis or some like that, I guess moving out of the city wouldn't mean you would be surrounded by white people and stuff like that. So this is, be mindful of that. I mean, if you already growing up there, you know, you have to Find ways of making your environment a better place overall. You know what I mean? And pulling. Pulling those resources and doing those things. I don't have the answers to that because that's a very layered situation. You can't just make everybody black move to Indianapolis. You know what I mean?

[Big Ice]

Right.

[Deontay Kyle]

But even, Even with that being Atlanta and being in. My mama being from here and my grandma being. Raising them up here since the, what, late 70s, early 80s, I've always been here. But Atlanta is the embodiment of black capitalism as well.

[Big Ice]

True.

[Deontay Kyle]

So there some. We traded out some of the culture for some of the commercial.

[Big Ice]

I mean, I said it before. Atlanta is a victim of his own success. Just being a kid and being In Atlanta, early 2000s, 90s, it was a totally different vibe. I mean, you still got the black. Black people had nice cars, black people had nice house homes.

[Deontay Kyle]

Black.

[Big Ice]

But Atlanta had his own culture.

[Deontay Kyle]

Right.

[Big Ice]

You know, and then once Atlanta boomed, I blame the 96 Olympics. That's my thing. I blame the 96 Olympics. If the Olympics wouldn't have never came here, Atlanta would still be what it. What it used to be.

[Deontay Kyle]

Right.

[Big Ice]

It would still have its projects, it would still have his. Its culture. Not saying that the projects made everything, but that's where a lot of black people. That's where a lot of things came out of Atlanta that made Atlanta cool. That made people want to move here, like.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah.

[Big Ice]

And. And even with the colleges, people coming in and never leaving.

[Deontay Kyle]

Right, right, right, right.

[Big Ice]

Yeah. People will come. Early 90s freaknik and never leave.

[Deontay Kyle]

Right. Well, we also gotta talk about then too, is that you have places like Cascade, where.

[Big Ice]

Yeah. Predominantly black.

[Deontay Kyle]

Predominantly black. But like, some of the nicest homes you gonna see in Atlanta.

[Big Ice]

I call it Black Buckhead.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. That's what it is for black Buckhead. Blackhead Buckhead. But you also have places like that on the south side, like Fairburn, Georgia.

[Big Ice]

Yeah. South Fulton is a.

[Deontay Kyle]

South Fulton in general is blackest city.

[Big Ice]

It might be the black city in Georgia.

[Deontay Kyle]

Blackest city in Georgia. But like, nice. Yeah, nice. Nice school systems. Nice. A lot of nice homes. Like, I was going to tell. Because I want to be closer to the city. The. The big goal is to get land. Right. But if we talking about, like, doing this thing and working. I was going to move to South Foot because they got good school system.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

And shit is just black as hell. It's nice.

[Big Ice]

Black as hell. The whole police department is black.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. That's a fact, too.

[Big Ice]

The whole. Everybody's black.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yo. I ain't gonna hold you like some black police officers. Really. I think here it's this thing. It's such a unique experience because they don't be on that.

[Big Ice]

They be cooling.

[Deontay Kyle]

They be cool. As long as you ain't breaking the law.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

And even if you is, they be like tighten up.

[Big Ice]

It depends on what it is.

[Deontay Kyle]

Depend on what you're doing. Yeah, now, now, now. You get a little rowdy.

[Big Ice]

Yeah. They gonna whoop your ass.

[Deontay Kyle]

They gonna whoop your ass.

[Big Ice]

These niggas is old athletes, football players.

[Deontay Kyle]

There's some Q dogs.

[Big Ice]

It's definitely some Q dogs on the police force.

[Deontay Kyle]

As soon as that start playing the head.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, exactly.

[Deontay Kyle]

I just have atomic dog is so funny because it's like, it's so. It's so funny to think about that. Like soon as you get a cute all pissed off, it's just like why am I starting be like. Like they just start playing.

[Big Ice]

Nothing but the dog.

[Deontay Kyle]

Nothing but the dog. Give me dog. Just whooping your ass. Oh, man. Because the thing is. But we do speak from a privileged place. Yeah. Capitalism. Capitalism. N will show you how to do capitalism in Atlanta. Now. This episode is brought to you by Enterprise Mobility. From fleet management to flexible truck rentals to technology solutions, Enterprise Mobility helps businesses find the right mobility solutions so they can find new opportunities.

[Big Ice]

Because if your business is on the.

[Deontay Kyle]

Road, they want to make sure it's on the road to success. Enterprise Mobility moving you moves the world. Find your road. @enterprise mobility.com I'm William Goudge, a Vuri collaborator and professional ultrarunner from the uk. I love to tackle endurance runs around the world, including a 55 day, 3,064 mile run across the US so I know a thing or two about performance wear. When it comes to relaxing, I look for something ultra versatile and comfy. The Ponto Performance Jogger from Vuri is perfect for all of those things. It's the comfiest jogger I've ever worn. And the Dream Knit fabric is why I'll always reach for them over other joggers. Check them out in the Dream Knit collection by going to vuorie.com william that's V U-O-R-I.com william where new customers can receive 20% off their first order plus enjoy free shipping in the US on orders over $75 and free returns. Exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions. Scamming culture came to Atlanta from the Africans. Let's just keep it real. I can't say that the gays and the Africans.

[Big Ice]

I Can't say I'm telling you that.

[Deontay Kyle]

N akon was down here tearing these folks ass off.

[Big Ice]

My mom was scamming, doing freaknik.

[Deontay Kyle]

Well, I mean, no, it's a. For sure. I just want to place the blame somewhere.

[Big Ice]

Yeah. So look at my mom. They. We don't freaknick came.

[Deontay Kyle]

Right, right.

[Big Ice]

My aunt and my mom would make fake flyers like vip. Like vip. Like braces and.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah.

[Big Ice]

And they would have all the clubs in Atlanta. They would have the people pay 50 and tell them you can get any club in Atlanta. Just show them this pass.

[Deontay Kyle]

Okay, so look, this is the thing that I've. This is a long standing a theory of mine that there's a difference between scamming and finessing. Well, yeah, Atlanta, Atlanta is just finesse.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Like the culture of Atlanta is finesse.

[Big Ice]

My mom would finesse.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. So that's finessing to me.

[Big Ice]

It is.

[Deontay Kyle]

What, and now it's scamming? Technically, yeah. But I'm talking about like credit card fraud. Like.

[Big Ice]

Oh yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

I mean the African will pull out a hotel key and fill up their car. Like how you, how you doing that? How you doing that? You got the money?

[Big Ice]

Money on the four seasons car.

[Deontay Kyle]

See the, with the double tree car at the pump. You doing with that?

[Big Ice]

How you do that?

[Deontay Kyle]

Just no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Big Ice]

No, don't worry about that. It's a Nigeria. Pushing buttons right now.

[Deontay Kyle]

Doing the knowledge right there in Nigeria. 12 hours behind insane. Don't even trip. I got yo some got my ig. I was like, yeah, yeah. I went into the. I got, I got back in that it was 12 accounts hooked up to my 12. Oh New York and Nigeria, all New.

[Big Ice]

York on Canal street going crazy, right?

[Deontay Kyle]

Going nuts. Yeah, we sell Bentley's, we do all that Deontay Kyle, he got a Bentley. He got one off me. Yeah, yeah. Range Rover, Mercedes, AMG truck.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, they got the Maybach.

[Deontay Kyle]

We got all that, man. Just call hollering my boy, man. Yeah, I was saying but gay. Gay.

[Big Ice]

Oh yeah. Gay too.

[Deontay Kyle]

Scammer. Yeah, Big scammers.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Credit card frauders. Boosters.

[Big Ice]

Great boosters.

[Deontay Kyle]

Great boosters.

[Big Ice]

No, top notch boosters, bro.

[Deontay Kyle]

A gang showed me how to do the boosting out of Home Depot. If you ever need a quick little hunting 200. He put me on the Home Depot. Finesse, quick. When we first moved out, I had my roommate and my roommate was like, he was like, you don't need no money. You straight? I'm like, let's go. He was like, we could just go pick up like 100, 200 from the home Depot. Real quick. I'm like, how that work? He's like, let me call my gay homie real quick. Came to show this, to play. It was something about doing with locks and like that. Like, them really expensive locks. I don't know what that. It's like you steal one and then you buy one, or you. You buy it so you can get a receipt, and then you return. You return too. And it was like some weird. Like that.

[Big Ice]

Okay.

[Deontay Kyle]

But it was. He was like, they only catch on to this.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

I don't know how they was doing it. It was. It was something similar. It wasn't that exactly, but it was something more to it. But, you know, like, the thing I don't like about, like, scamming or finessing, it's just too many steps. Yeah.

[Big Ice]

It's too many steps to do it.

[Deontay Kyle]

And then if you up one step, you. You gonna go to jail.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, you're. You're up.

[Deontay Kyle]

You're.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, once you get in there, start. Start stuttering. You're up.

[Deontay Kyle]

You gotta have a poker face. You gotta have a serious poker face. But I would say, like, Atlanta has always been a city of, like, pure finesse.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, Pure finesse.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. The homeless, they be having. They'll be boosting. Yeah. Homeless. I remember sold me some fellows in Oakland City, right outside the West End. You know where the. What's that? What's that sneaker store right there? It's by car wash. The West End. Right here. Right across the street is sneaker store. It's not foot action, is it?

[Big Ice]

It is.

[Deontay Kyle]

I think it is a foot action.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Okay. I walk into the foot action. This is like peak fellas. Yeah. So, like, I go in there to get a fellas, they ain't got none of my size type shit. I walk out and he like, nephew, I got all the fellas right here in the trunk. I'm like, all right. I was like, this how you got a car? First of all, a car is a bucket. It's some. But he's some too. Yeah, but he had them hoes. I'm like, where you. He was like, you asked too many questions, man.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

What size?

[Big Ice]

You need some questions?

[Deontay Kyle]

Size 10. Got them for you right here. Give me $50. Like, that's a deal. Let me get two.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Let me get two. I got a white pair and a black pair. I was good, good, good feline, man. Now them hoes was extra soft.

[Big Ice]

Soft tacos.

[Deontay Kyle]

Soft tacos. Soft shell tacos.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Soft tacos, flour tortillas. For sure. For sure. I got a few wears out of them hoes. And it was. It was over with something serious, man.

[Big Ice]

Now the soft taco f was ones, the cardboard joints, they'll wrinkle up in the front.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Big Ice]

They'll start crumbling at the feet.

[Deontay Kyle]

First of all. Them turn yellow when they exposed to the sun.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, yeah. That's how you thought it was fake.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. He goes to the discount mall, first of all, because like this thing, you got to go see the sock, man.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

And get you 200 pairs of socks for $20.

[Big Ice]

200 for 40.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. Running so much socks.

[Big Ice]

But they unraveling after their first rare. They're unraveling.

[Deontay Kyle]

Toes out all type of. Don't you around. Every time it's like. It's like every time you wear the light the bullshit sock, that's when you walk in the house and they be like, oh, yeah, you got to take your shoes off. I'm just going home.

[Big Ice]

Yep, I'm just going home, dog.

[Deontay Kyle]

I'm not gonna be here. My feet out, man.

[Big Ice]

You're not embarrassing me anymore.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, but the thing is, is like having your toes out while got their sneakers on is uncomfortable. That shit is uncomfortable.

[Big Ice]

Oh.

[Deontay Kyle]

Cause it's like I feel naked.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

My feet out got on socks. Let me go find something. Let me cover my feet up, man. I don't even got like that toe shame that got. You know how be having like toe shame like this.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, I got. I got toe shame for real crazy.

[Deontay Kyle]

Like socks on the beach type.

[Big Ice]

I wouldn't say. Yeah, at first I did, but now since I got old, I'm like it. This is my feet.

[Deontay Kyle]

These are my feet.

[Big Ice]

These are my feet.

[Deontay Kyle]

These are my feet.

[Big Ice]

This is what God gave me.

[Deontay Kyle]

This is what I'm working with.

[Big Ice]

This is the wheels that I have. These are the wheels that I have. Imma just stroll them the beach.

[Deontay Kyle]

Pitting pat. Hey, man, listen. Hey. Once you go. Once you start getting. As a man, once you start getting pedicures and yeah, I get a little bit more comfortable with the feet out.

[Big Ice]

But it's only cuz my. My toes are dark.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got the black toes.

[Big Ice]

Yeah. And the doctor said it's like a high level of melanin in my toenails. So beautiful. I mean, it is, but I was always like. I was always like aware of that.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah.

[Big Ice]

Like, my mom would buy me sandals when I was a kid. I would hide the sandals. Then it got to a Point where she bought two pair just to piss me off. Like, I hit one pair, she goes in the closet and get another pair. What the.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yo, my yo, I remember. Yeah, my mom. My mom like a bald head that wears sandals. Like, that's her thing.

[Big Ice]

That's her thing.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. My dad. My dad always was like a low cut, like, temp, fat type. And he size 13 sandals, too. God damn barbecue sandals.

[Big Ice]

He had flappers.

[Deontay Kyle]

Big foot on that fella.

[Big Ice]

Niggas walking around, what they call them swim with flippers. Had flippers.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yo, son. Yo. And yo, the thing is, is, like, that's the type of. He was like, collar shirt tucked in.

[Big Ice]

Oh, okay.

[Deontay Kyle]

With some khaki. Either khaki. Like straight leg pants or like shorts. Like a butt and knee shorts.

[Big Ice]

Okay.

[Deontay Kyle]

A braided belt.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Gold watch.

[Big Ice]

Oh. Oh, yeah. He was like a player. Yeah. Player.

[Deontay Kyle]

Extremely player.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Always keep some shades. Yeah, he got shades in the car. Like, he got the shades.

[Big Ice]

Push the button to come down.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, that's my dad.

[Big Ice]

Yes.

[Deontay Kyle]

My mom. Get in the car.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, put them shades on. Yeah. My mom was like a Cool J type of. That's what she like.

[Deontay Kyle]

That's what she likes.

[Big Ice]

She's like, yeah, she's like, with a Kango and a good sweatsuit on. Good sneakers, heavy chain.

[Deontay Kyle]

Good sneakers, heavy chain. Go back and look at the files Pops got on tracksuits and cat.

[Big Ice]

That's it. Gold chains.

[Deontay Kyle]

She found a man of her dream.

[Big Ice]

This is what she like, bro.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, I knew. I knew my dad. I knew her, and my dad was cooked. When she met the George, I was like, yeah, that relationship George. Big buff ball head wear sandals. Sandals is crazy. A big buff ass man with green eyes.

[Big Ice]

Oh, he got green eyes.

[Deontay Kyle]

And he like brown skin with green eyes.

[Big Ice]

Oh, yeah, he's gone, but it's over, Pops. No chance.

[Deontay Kyle]

I was like, damn, Norm, George got your.

[Big Ice]

You'll never ever get your back.

[Deontay Kyle]

Crazy thing. George got wife and kids, too.

[Big Ice]

Oh, man.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, they was doing the dirty deed.

[Big Ice]

Damn.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, they was doing the dirt. The real adultery. You know what I'm saying? I was like, my mama don't ever be laughing like that in my dad jokes.

[Big Ice]

Oh, yeah, it's over with. George can make a laugh.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, it's over with George had mom dude showing the gold, too. Laughing like a. I said, yeah. So mom just had the gold tooth in the front. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Big Ice]

Mom really? Atlanta for real?

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, with the one Go to one Go to.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, she's Atlanta for real.

[Deontay Kyle]

Open face, too. Yeah, that's Mon duce Mondo is, ah. I was like, ah. I'm like. I'm like 11. I'm like, y'all.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, what's going on?

[Deontay Kyle]

What's up with y'all, too?

[Big Ice]

Yeah, what's up?

[Deontay Kyle]

Why we always staying late at the bowling alley with Mr. George?

[Big Ice]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

I remember when I got in a fight and, like, 10th grade George called on my phone. He's like, man, what you up to? School fight. I said, why the you calling me? Hey, well, you got talking to me. Hey, did your dad call yet? I was like, nah, he didn't back out. Absent pops on me.

[Big Ice]

That's crazy.

[Deontay Kyle]

I was like, you ain't, man. But he was like, man, when take you to the ground, you gotta. You gotta wrestle. You know you gotta wrestle. Trying to. Cause was trying to wrestle me.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

I'm like, man, I ain't trying to wrestle. Like, get back on your feet. He's like, man, next time. He was like, cuz, when y'all was on the feet, you was working his ass.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

He's like, like, you little. Little panic a little bit when he took you to the ground.

[Big Ice]

I was like, he was at your element. Yeah, you're not.

[Deontay Kyle]

You're not. You're not a grappler.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, you're not a grappler. Nigga panic a little bit. He ain't a grappler. Yeah, I'm more of a striker myself.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, I'm more of a striker. I like that Stand up.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

I like to get you stand up game. You know what I'm saying? Nigga took it to the ground. Nigga took it to the ground. Oh. Oh. Hey, yo, I was in. I know I was in this with Kurt angle.

[Big Ice]

You better put me in the ankle lock. It's crazy.

[Deontay Kyle]

Nah, son. When we hit the ground, I'm trying to get up, go head lock on me. Oh. I say, oh, no. I gotta bam, this.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

You know what I. I take for the ride. As soon as we hit the ground, I'm trying to get back to my feet. He trying to keep me on the ground. Yeah, yeah. Like, he got. He got like the cop like this on the shirt.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Trying to keep me on the ground.

[Big Ice]

He panicked, too.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, he panicked, too. But I'm like, bro, let me go. I'm. Let me go. Let me go, bro. Yeah, let's throw hands.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Was like, n. That.

[Big Ice]

N. Yeah, I already put you in the crib. Crossface.

[Deontay Kyle]

No. Oh, God. And he was like, he. I'm a grappler. That's my. My bad.

[Big Ice]

That's his thing. Yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

That was on YouTube and everything. That's back when you remember back in the day, it'd be just X versus Y. Like. Yeah, that's the whole. That's the title, right? No description.

[Big Ice]

No descriptions in it.

[Deontay Kyle]

It's just Chris versus Kyle. Crispy Kyle, a little grainy ass, like 480p.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

480P fight.

[Big Ice]

Yeah. Them first YouTube videos.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yo, you used to be insane. Yeah, yeah. I used to have me a Little Ting on YouTube. Like Shorty used to be twerking in the sponge. That's when, like, you remember, use a straight up twerk.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, just.

[Deontay Kyle]

No.

[Big Ice]

No talk, just twerk.

[Deontay Kyle]

No talking, just twerking.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Soulja Boy had the girls going crazy. Crazy. Sure. Used to have the spongebob pants. Her name was Chocolate Drop. Oh. Oh. I've been looking for that ever since. What happened to her? We both adults now.

[Big Ice]

She's somebody else. Baby mom. Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Nah, naturally.

[Big Ice]

Naturally.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. The twerking. The baby mama pipeline is serious. You make twerking your personality.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, Baby mom pipeline for sure.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, man. No way. Let me catch Emory twerking on camera.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, I can only imagine.

[Deontay Kyle]

Now we running the block like Floyd Mayweather. I'm gonna crank the truck up. You run.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, we running.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. Four in the morning.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Let's get out there. Yeah, yeah. You want to shake some ass?

[Big Ice]

Run this hill.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, run the hill. Yeah, yeah.

[Big Ice]

They start shaking for real. Yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Now we working on glutes. Atlanta did used to have like a feel though, bro. It did, bro. It would be times we'll leave, like, we go to church. We go to church off Sylvan Road. So leaving from Douglasville to go to church, it's like you could just feel it. Like when you turn and you get in the city, you get off on Lowry Boulevard.

[Big Ice]

You get a feeling something come over you.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, it's just energy.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Homelessness don't even look that bad.

[Big Ice]

Listen, I know what you're talking about because my mom's from her homes. My mom's from Fifth Ward, right off north side. Well, north side Drive, if you're familiar with Atlanta, north side Drive, you can look over, you can see Mercedes Benz. You can see right there. Well, if you ever seen a lottery ticket, those are the projects in my mom's. So, man, we would pull up over there and it just felt good. It felt good, bro. I would get out. She wouldn't even say I would get out. I Would go play, bro. She never asked. Yeah, it's alive.

[Deontay Kyle]

It's a lie.

[Big Ice]

And they knew who I was. They knew who a child I was. I would get out, go play mom be on the block, chopping it up. We would leave there and go to junior crickets. That was my day. That was my Sunday, bro lit. I loved it.

[Deontay Kyle]

Oh, great Sunday.

[Big Ice]

Atlanta just had a feel to it, man.

[Deontay Kyle]

It just had a different energy, bro. Like, the energy was very real. It don't now. Everything is just. Everything's lamb chops. High rises and walls and lamb chops and pay for parking. Back in the day, you can give a crackhead $5, man watch your car. He'll watch your shit with his life.

[Big Ice]

He'll back that motherfucker in for you.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, whatever. Hey, if you want him to.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Cause this is the thing. And that's one thing that we talk about when we talk about, like the war on drugs. It's like it really did take some very useful men out of the community. Cause these niggas as handy as a motherfucker.

[Big Ice]

No, these. Yo, the crack era took out the men that grew up with trades in school.

[Deontay Kyle]

It took the trade. It took the trade niggas out the.

[Big Ice]

Community, but they kept the trade.

[Deontay Kyle]

They kept the trade. They know how do it.

[Big Ice]

They just hooked on crack.

[Deontay Kyle]

My. I'mma tell you something. So Norm, this my dad, Norman nor Norm is both cheap and broke.

[Big Ice]

Okay?

[Deontay Kyle]

Normally it's a one or the other type thing. Normally have money, but they a little cheap, right? Or a got expensive taste. But he be broke.

[Big Ice]

Okay?

[Deontay Kyle]

My dad is cheap and broke.

[Big Ice]

Your dad's a good times character.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yo. It's still my dad. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

[Big Ice]

I'm sorry.

[Deontay Kyle]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Big Ice]

I had to get you back because yesterday you was like, man, the 5 percenters. I was like, God. I said, God damn.

[Deontay Kyle]

I said, yo.

[Big Ice]

Just dissed the gods.

[Deontay Kyle]

Like, I looked down at you, I was like, oh, shit.

[Big Ice]

My man, my man, your man, the gods.

[Deontay Kyle]

All you talking about the.

[Big Ice]

The 5% of that's what the tequila do to you.

[Deontay Kyle]

Start talking, turn you to a Mexican. Trust him 5% talking about God, you know? No, he know black. He God n got out there Teraman start acting like the Rock. For real. What? Oh, that's funny. As nah, Norm, though, man, Norm was going to find a shortcut, you know what I'm saying? He was efficient, though. He was efficient at how he handled, but he liked to cut corners.

[Big Ice]

Okay?

[Deontay Kyle]

All Right. So, boom. I grew up in a pink house. Okay.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, he told us.

[Deontay Kyle]

You're right. So have we had this conversation about the pink house already? Yeah, about how he paid the. To paint the.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, and it turned a different color. We had just me and you. Not on camera.

[Deontay Kyle]

Oh, it was just me and you.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. Okay. So they don't know. All right. I grew up in a pink house, right? That's the type of neighborhood, like, when you live in a coastal city. Black neighborhoods have very vibrant colored houses, yellow houses, like electric blue houses.

[Big Ice]

Gullah. Gullah island vibes.

[Deontay Kyle]

Gullah. Gullah island vibes, Right. I grew up in a pink house. Now, I didn't. I wasn't a big fan of the pink house, but I understood, like, you know, this is it. Color coordinate. Well, with what neighborhood? This is the other thing, though. My neighbor next to us, full brick. Full brick house. Full brick house. We got a pink panel house. So I was like, that, look out of place, right? I'm talking to Pops. He like, what you want to do this summer? I was like, I want to paint the house. He was like, what color? I was like, anything but pink. You know what I'm saying? Maybe like. Like a nice pastel white. You know? I mean, something nice. Something. Something nice. He's all right. Bet I got you now, Alfonso. We just call nigga Fonz. Fonz a crackhead. Fonz always busy. And, you know, he always scurrying up and down the goddamn street, right? Him and his brother Yodi, right? You remember I told you about Yodi? Fell out the tree and broke his neck.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Still smoked crack. Fon shot himself. Damn. Still smoked crack. He paid fines, however much. So I come home one day from school. Fonz painting the house now, it looked like. This is what looked like primer, okay? So I'm like, oh, that shit gonna be tough. It dried. Shit was pinker. I was like, yo, my nigga, what. What kind of paint was that? Right Now I live in a pinker. Like a. A bright pink.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

It was like a pastel. Like a faded pink before, right? That popping pink.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, yeah. Camera on Range Rover pink.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Range Rover camera on pink for sure. Yeah, I really.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

My. This is what my pops do. Now I'm. I'm mad as shit because I'm like, dad, what the fuck, man?

[Big Ice]

Right?

[Deontay Kyle]

I don't even got to tell niggas why I look, hey, come down the block. You see a pink house? That's me, right? This is what he's saying. No, we can offset it, though. We're gonna get some red numbers to put on the front of the house. So this went to Walmart 2. They got a 411 in wood painted, spray painted them. I was bright red, stuck it on the house, offsetted our.

[Big Ice]

So now you got the pink house.

[Deontay Kyle]

With the red numbers with Valentine's house, the Cupid show. I was maddish, man. Like, after a while, you just like, that's my house.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

But it's like, I was like, man, you always cutting corners with this. Like, I. Why. When I. When I. I knew when I grew up, like, I'm just not going to cut corners, right? That's why I'm so big on quality. Like, just can't cut corners. Same. Dad, if you watching this, you can't. Don't be offended because it's a fact. Bucket. You talking about a. It's gonna keep a bucket, right? Yo, son, he had this car. The car squeal, squealing, squealing, squealing.

[Big Ice]

He need a timing belt, son.

[Deontay Kyle]

This is my thing, though, right? He fixed mad on the car.

[Big Ice]

Except that he fixed everything but the timing belt.

[Deontay Kyle]

That shit's squealing, bro. This how bad it was. We don't got no curfew, right? Because if we hear. When he hit the top of that block, you can hear him coming.

[Big Ice]

Damn.

[Deontay Kyle]

And the faster he get, the louder he gets. So he like to keep it a little. Yeah, he like, keep a nice little 10, 15 mile pace, right? So it ain't too crazy. That's.

[Big Ice]

Wow.

[Deontay Kyle]

It's like, all right, y'all boys, like, I like around. I know he get home around nine. Yeah. So like, 8:30. I'm like, all right, well, we're gonna kick it at the spot. So when we hear him coming, y'all just go ahead and go. Yeah, and we got enough time, right? Because when he hit the block, you can hear squealing, bro. And it's embarrassing to ride with the. Because after a while, you don't even hear it no more, right? So then you pulling up places and people looking like, what the.

[Big Ice]

God damn.

[Deontay Kyle]

What the. Yeah, and then you're like, oh, squealing as soon as. As soon as the light turned, like, man, that belching. That.

[Big Ice]

Sound like sisk on the thongs.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, for sure, man. That used to be so annoying, bro. Like. And I'm like, dad, like, we could just. How do we fix things? I don't know what's wrong with the. They give me point a. The Point B.

[Big Ice]

That's all that matters.

[Deontay Kyle]

I hate riding with this. Like we had eighth grade dance. You want me to drop you off?

[Big Ice]

No, no, I'm good. I rather walk.

[Deontay Kyle]

I know. If you is gonna drop me off, drop me off. Cause you street. I'll walk over there.

[Big Ice]

Right.

[Deontay Kyle]

Drop me off at the high school. I walk to the music. I'm straight. I don't want to be seen in this. This embarrassing for real. Right. How about Iverson? Jerseyed up fresh as hell. I did. Squealer squealing. I'm the squealer. But I think Atlanta traded in the. The commercial for the capital.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, for sure.

[Deontay Kyle]

I would. I would say that. I would say the Olympics is a good turning point. Point. Yeah, it's a good turning point.

[Big Ice]

Knocking down.

[Deontay Kyle]

That's when tech. That one that got rid of Ted. Yeah. It was just it once it started once Techwood was gone, once take was.

[Big Ice]

Gone, Everything else is like a domino effect.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. Because Tetwa was the. The, like the center of it all. The heartbeat was right there by Joy to take.

[Big Ice]

You see Georgia Tech. You see Techwood?

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, it's right there. And it's a huge project. It's huge. Like humongous. Yeah.

[Big Ice]

So if you want to know what Tech Wood is, if you. If you ever live in Atlanta, if you've been to Atlanta, you know what Sweet Lounge is? The apartment's next to Sweet Lounge Des Techwood.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah.

[Big Ice]

That's the vicinity of Tech Wood.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. I got one of my. One of my. One of the listeners is like, I really. That's her whole.

[Big Ice]

Okay.

[Deontay Kyle]

I'm really.

[Big Ice]

Okay. Okay.

[Deontay Kyle]

So if you want to do the knowledge in the comment section, go ahead, have at it. It's all you. Yeah, I. The energy. The energy ain't there no more. But the. It's a privileged place to be though, man.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

You know, you can still get you something. But this is also like that finesse and that crack dealer mindset really did transition into how people do their business. Right. And like you go places like old lady gang or shit like that. Like, that's where you get like this, the idea of like I could just treat you however I want because it's my shit, right? That work on the block that don't work. And they don't work in a brick and mortar. You know what I mean? Once you got real estate, it's time to start treating people like they decent people. Yeah. All right. So look, elephant in the room.

[Big Ice]

What happened?

[Deontay Kyle]

I got really up last night.

[Big Ice]

That you did Blacked out.

[Deontay Kyle]

I blacked out. I don't remember the last 30 minutes. I don't remember it ending. I don't remember going to. I was. I was in bed. I was. I was in bed, like, cozy, too. I was tucked. Oh.

[Big Ice]

Oh, Tara, money got you tucked, man.

[Deontay Kyle]

Teramana tucked me in. Open up that phone. Oh, cursed out on the phone.

[Big Ice]

Damn.

[Deontay Kyle]

Every time I up. Damn. I up. Then you know what happened next. The shame.

[Big Ice]

Oh.

[Deontay Kyle]

Oh, the shame. That shame. Get that when that shame get a hold of you, bro. And this is the thing, bro. I've been kind of. I've been dealing with doing or alcohol and some type of drugs since I was 15. So I'll be 35, right, in July. So we talking about 20 years, right? And it's like, that should just put things in perspective. I was like, man, I really hate this feeling. But you also don't want to admit, like, I might have a problem. You know what I mean? Because even if I ain't drinking every day, the clear sign of alcoholism is once you start, you can't stop, right? And so, yeah, man, that shit really made me, like, analyze myself today. Like, damn, bro, I might be an alcoholic, for real.

[Big Ice]

I would think you an alcoholic, but I just think you, like, socially drank, though.

[Deontay Kyle]

Well, I think it's when I'm in a high stress, you know, I've been dealing with a lot of stress lately and just overwhelmed, man. Look, bro, I was sitting there looking at the bottle on the refrigerator, and I was like, I ain't gonna drink that, because if I drink it, that's a rap for today.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

And I still drunk that. I should have poured that out. That's what I should have did. But it's like I've been dealing with some type of substance, you know, I started smoking weed young. I hit first hit the weed at 13. So it wasn't consistent, though, because my sister wasn't, like, feeling that, you know, she like. She basically had my mom at this point because we stayed with my dad. She was like, we ain't doing that. Like, I don't give a. I don't. If I'll be around that smoke all day. You ain't gonna be smoking. Like, if I can do it and not do it. And she was like, you an athlete? All that. So, 15, when I decided, like, I ain't playing sports no more. It's been on ever since. Sixteen is when the alcohol really started becoming a thing. So then we go through the. The weed. It go from weed, alcohol, to pills, and alcohol and we selling coke, start doing coke. And then every everything Molly, we fuck with the Molly, fuck with the ecstasy. I was not a Xanax person because I like remembering the shit I do. But, like, had a little spell, short spell with Xander, like 1920, and it's just like, damn, y'all. I was like really analyzing that shit, bro. To be here where I'm at, that's a blessing for sure. But the way that I look at it today and the way I felt is like, even if it's functional, even if we had a good time, even if I wasn't belligerent or disrespectful, and it was laughs and it was jokes and it was kikiing, it's the feeling of like, I blacked out at some point. I don't remember shit, right? And then the shame part, and then it's like, okay, this is a symptom of something deeper, right? Like I'm dealing with something deeper to the point where it's like, okay, I might have a problem now. I don't like vocalizing that because that make a feel a little weak. But the reality is, I know. And we've been doing this long enough to know, like, if I'm vulnerable enough, it'll help somebody else out, right? And yeah, man, that shit be fucking with me, bro. Like, bro, I desperately do like the idea of being sober, but it's like, man, I don't know. I don't know if that's where I'm at with it because I don't want to go to AA and shit. Like, them niggas be drunks for real. Yeah, I've been to AA meetings before. Like, I meant, like mandated by the judge and shit. And. And then when. And then the crazy thing is it was like, na. Cause I had like, got caught with some weed or whatever. But he was like, you're gonna have to go to these. Like, this is gonna be your community service type shit.

[Big Ice]

Got you.

[Deontay Kyle]

And. Cause he was like, when you got pulled up, like, you didn't have the bottle open, but you had a big ass bottle of liquor. I had a big Hennessy. Like the big Hennessy. I had me a little 3 5. I was ready to roll, baby. We was gonna have us a night.

[Big Ice]

That was a good night right there.

[Deontay Kyle]

My whole night. Yeah. Yeah. But my dumb ass smoking in the car just like a while. And this is when I had like this one. I had like that blacked out 04 Taurus. My had beat in it tents. I was vibing in that that was like V6. That was fast to hell to me at the time.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

It's 2014. I'm living, huh? Living. This is like. This is my first big boy car, too. I bought that straight cash that was clean as vibing. Big bottle of Hennessy, and passenger had that in the seat.

[Big Ice]

You. Wow.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, Yeah. I was smoking, listening to Future. Oh, I was lit. Pulled me over. I just gave him the weed. Here.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

This is what I got on me. You feel me, right? That's how I'm living. And I thought about being on it. I'm so high. I'm thinking, like, if I just give it to him, maybe he'll let me go. That, like, absolutely not. He was like, who can get this car? I was like, well, should I live right there? He's like, park the car. I was like, damn, I'm going to jail.

[Big Ice]

Yeah. At least he told you, though. That's an extra fee.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They ain't tell. They ain't tell my. But I had to go to aa. And it's like, when I was in aa, I realized, like, okay, the issues I have with alcohol ain't necessarily this bad, but it's relatable.

[Big Ice]

Right.

[Deontay Kyle]

Like, was talking about they was gutter drunks, like, drink piss out of a bottle and like that because they thought it was a Corona. All type of weird.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Okay. I ain't that bad for Akon.

[Big Ice]

Right.

[Deontay Kyle]

But functional alcoholism is a thing.

[Big Ice]

That's true.

[Deontay Kyle]

It is people out here who drink every day, but just because they having a good time, they don't look at it as a problem now. Didn't get me to thinking about my adoption. To give a baby away at two days old. It's a couple of factors could go into that. One of those factors could be drug abuse.

[Big Ice]

Could be.

[Deontay Kyle]

Gave me that gene. Might have gave me that junkie Jean, man. I think somebody gave me that junkie Jean, bro.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Because you remember how I used to be in the studio.

[Big Ice]

I remember.

[Deontay Kyle]

Disappear in the bathroom, come back like James Brown. Whoa. Let's do it, fellas.

[Big Ice]

Amped up in the studio.

[Deontay Kyle]

Amped up.

[Big Ice]

Wrong with this, man.

[Deontay Kyle]

I keep going to the bathroom, go to the bathroom. Ski, Ski, Ski, go to the bathroom, come back.

[Big Ice]

All right, fellas. Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Play the beat.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, but you wrapped your ass off, though.

[Deontay Kyle]

Wrapping my ass off. They like this. This. The way this spit is unnatural.

[Big Ice]

Yeah. Just didn't know.

[Deontay Kyle]

They had the Bugs Bunny. The Bug Bunny super water in the bathroom. The Michael secret stuff.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, Michael secret stuff in the bathroom.

[Deontay Kyle]

Michael Secret stuff. You see his son? His son got the secret stuff.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, yeah. Drive. No, train tracks.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yo.

[Big Ice]

How. How was that?

[Deontay Kyle]

I thought he was on the road.

[Big Ice]

Still a little bumpy, ain't it?

[Deontay Kyle]

I'm spending too much money. I know my tax dollars ain't going to this. It's a pothole. Every goddamn.

[Big Ice]

I gotta write to city council about this shit.

[Deontay Kyle]

This shit crazy. Do you know who the fuck my dad is, man? Pixie's rose. He go on the train track. Nigga said I know a shortcut.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, we'll be at the house in no time.

[Deontay Kyle]

Oh, nah, but I'm saying, like, cocaine is a hell of a drug. They mean that when they say that. It's a good time. But God damn, you don't realize your life falling apart. You don't even realize this just falling apart. You don't even know it. Used to. That was the only time I would say.

[Big Ice]

Still getting around to that fix on your car. You got this on ebay. You'll find millions of parts guaranteed to fit. Doesn't matter if it's a major engine repair or your first time swapping your windshield wipers. Ebay has that part you need ready to click perfectly into place for changes big and small, loud or quiet. Find all the parts you need at prices you'll love. Guaranteed to fit every time. But you already know that. EBay things people love. Eligible ITEMS only.

[Deontay Kyle]

EXCLUSIONS APPLY I had like, I was in throes of a addiction. For real. Because I'm getting off work, skiing, up, go to bed, 2:00, gotta be up at 4:00. Sometimes you just be like it. I'm gonna just keep going. Just go to work high, man. That ain't no good news, bro. Right? That shameful. For real. Now, the fact that I didn't overcome this is one thing, right? I would say I'm. It's been years, honestly. Years. Goddamn. When was we going to Junior House? That was like what, 20, 21? Yeah, it's been since the pandemic. I was like, fuck that shit. I woke up one day, I was like, fuck this shit. Ain't fuck with it since. But the alcohol, even I slowed up on that just cause I was driving trucks. And it's like, you ain't drinking on the road.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Cdls just seeing a nigga drunk. Killed, killed family five and all type of shit. Like, damn, yeah. Nigga don't even speak no English. Oh yeah, nigga fucked up behind the wheel. One of them African niggas. Definitely East African. And Bro, it was like a fatal car accident. Like, killed a whole bunch of kid. Killed a kid. And then when they trying to talk to the. And tell him, he, like, what? Well, I don't understand. Like, he's like, they're dead, right? The people are dead. He was, like, dead. Yeah, like, he understood that. That's when realized, oh, I up.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, he up.

[Deontay Kyle]

But he was drunk, and it's like, little passive alcoholism. Like, it's in everything we do. Yeah, yeah. They put alcohol and Mountain Dew. Like Spike Mountain Dew. Like, if they gonna put. Start putting Hennessy and Listerine, some drink.

[Big Ice]

Glycerine to get drunk.

[Deontay Kyle]

That's what I'm saying, son. It's a. It's an actual. It's a layered issue.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

And I just want to be forthcoming about it just because I felt shame and it. Like, I don't feel like that no more. But that morning, it was bad. And it's like, bro, I really had to examine myself. Like, all right, bro, you going a little too hard on the sauce now. Whatever I'm dealing with, whatever stressors or whatever triggered me to make me want to drink and just instead of dealing with my problems, that's not a good enough excuse. So even if it was a good night, we also know that I done had some bad nights too off that shit. And it's like, man, I don't want to keep living like that, bro. Now, I like, too prideful to get help, but, nigga, definitely gonna have to, like, prioritize some type of mental health, like, therapy.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, we discussed that.

[Deontay Kyle]

We discussed it. Like, I'm getting to that point. Like, I. And also just realizing, like, that's. I think it's a prideful thing, bro. Like, I do not feel. I don't like feeling like I can't do it on my own. And I think that's a testament to just how much shit I've had to overcome on my own.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

That it's like, you know when you don't have familial support and you're too prideful to tell your friends what you're going through, you just like, okay, well, I'm just put my head down and get through this shit. And this one of those things where it's like, nah, I just need to be upfront, honest. Like, boy, yeah, that shit starting to feel like a problem to a nigga. Now I'm thinking about long term, right? You. We in a setting. We in an environment. We trying to make. We trying to do business. You may sabotage relationship because you don't got too drunk.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

So it's gonna be. So I just need to be aware of it enough where it's like, I'm not gonna say I'll never drink again, because I think that's a heavy burden to put on myself just right off the rip.

[Big Ice]

Right.

[Deontay Kyle]

But I think, like, moderation is key. And I think also too, just being knowledgeable of it or. Or seeking some type of assistance with the. You know what I'm saying? Right. And knowing when. Having a. Having a win, like, okay, like, for example, nine out of ten, if we're gonna. If we're doing something professional, I don't be drinking.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

But it do be that one time where I'd be like, I have a little drink.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

That's when I need you to be like, absolutely the. Absolutely not, sir. Right, Right. Because I'm. I'm was hungover when I. When he pulled up over here today. I was like, I ain't trying to do this, bro. I don't feel it. He's like, we're doing it.

[Big Ice]

Nah. Yeah. Angle I. Now if this was like, sometime last year, I probably would have let you get a pass. We got a whole public, bro.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah.

[Big Ice]

We got over Damn near with 40, 000 subscribers on YouTube.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah.

[Big Ice]

Got 300, 000 followers on. On. On Tick tock, Instagram. Going up. Business is going up.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, I'm good now. We.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, I know. I'm just saying.

[Deontay Kyle]

But I'm glad you pushed me. Like, nah, we doing this because I think part of it was just that too. Like, you start trying to replay and recall. Can't recall. I don't like that whole apology tour. You know, this is something that. That. That struggle with, like, everybody don't have that, like, cool. I know my limit. Some got that gene in them. Like. Yeah, you just take to the limit. You live from one extreme to the next. And I just got that gene, bro. That just is what it is. And so it's like, who. Who have made an ass out of themselves drunk before, know like the next day when that shame hit. You gotta go on that apology tour, bruh. Ah, that's the worst. That's the worst. Now, everybody don't do it because everybody unaccountable. But like, for me, yeah, I mean, hell, a little mini. Little mini apology tour this morning, man, I might have hurt some feelings last night, man. Talk reckless. See, it's that. It's that young. It's that chopper.

[Big Ice]

Yeah. That's when they. That's when they get to meet Chapa.

[Deontay Kyle]

That's where they get to meet Chapa. Because Chopper just disrespectful ass. Disrespectful. Say anything you want to say. Talk out the side of his neck. And it's like, all right, well, like, I made a lot of progress. I've overcome a lot of things. You still, you know, those old parts of you are still in you, though.

[Big Ice]

Still a part of you.

[Deontay Kyle]

And you still gotta battle with them. Like you still going toe to toe with them every day just through decision making alone. And so I think like the way that we hit, like, we'll normalize. Like, damn, yo, word. It's Saturday. It's Sunday, right? It was up at 10am this morning drinking mimosas for sure.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

10Am getting up. Yeah, this going. It was on a 7pm flight. 7am flight this morning.

[Big Ice]

Drinking, drinking, son, I was at work. 5am in the airport. I'm getting some chick fil A. At 5am, white guy come to me asking me, what time does the bar open? I said, Brother, it's five shakes. It's 5:00am Bro, you talking about a bar.

[Deontay Kyle]

That's what I'm saying.

[Big Ice]

That's crazy.

[Deontay Kyle]

It's the only acceptable addiction. Yeah, you see what I'm saying? It's acceptable. Like I'm addicted to cigarettes too. I smoke cigarettes. People don't. Really. People would. People are a lot more like on me about that than they are about anything else. But like, bruh, it done been plenty of times like, nigga, bruh, one thing I have stopped doing, one thing I'm not doing anymore, is getting drunk on the live. Bruh, I used to get drunk as fuck on the live and just listen to music. Yeah, we'd be in that bitch vibing. But then it's like, bro, I done got cross eyed in this.

[Big Ice]

The guys are wondering.

[Deontay Kyle]

Nah, for real though. You know that.

[Big Ice]

Look, I know who you get.

[Deontay Kyle]

No, bro, I already know, bro. I'm looking at the live. I'm like, damn, yo, my eyes start hitting the left turn. I was like, oh, no, it's time to get off this time to get off. I. I just think, you know, just try to be forthcoming, bro, and be honest. Like, we got the platform. I don't never want to give out this air of perfection. Like, ain't no perfect neither. You know what I'm saying? I don't think anybody expect that out of me. No way. But it's just like, shit, nigga, I know since I was 15 that I've been fucking around like, period. And it's so like a part of me fears sobriety because, I don't know, I'm not familiar with it. Right, right. I haven't been sober since I was 14 years old. And the only time I have been sober in those 20 years is if I was locked up. So now, because even when I was on the road and it's like, okay, we're doing 72 hour reset. Gonna go, I'm gonna go to Outback, gonna give me a steak, right? They just had this little blood orange margarita. Was fire.

[Big Ice]

You drinking them, Knocking them, knocking them hoes back. Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Knocking them back.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

I ain't got nowhere to be tomorrow to go Sleep good.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, yeah, right, right.

[Deontay Kyle]

Talking good to a waitress.

[Big Ice]

And Outback.

[Deontay Kyle]

At the Outback, really down on her luck.

[Big Ice]

Another blooming onion.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, yeah.

[Big Ice]

Break another blooming onion Is crazy Trying.

[Deontay Kyle]

To see your blooming. Oh, what's up with it? Oh, shit, that's nasty. Truck driver.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

You ever seen the back of an 18 wheeler? That's crazy. You ever been in the bed? That's shame. Oh, God. Nah, them be knocking hoes off in that, bro. I was, I was. Hey, you know what? This one, I knew I need to come out the road, though. I had watched this documentary about truck drivers, like specifically like over the road, truck drivers. And, and they was talking about where we at 25 left.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Okay, cool. Oh, well, I got it tracking right here too. It was, it was 80, right? Yeah, yeah. So yeah, when we get to 115 here, we'll chop it. I was watching this documentary and in documentary they was talking about how like truck drivers, like specifically the ones who go out for weeks at a time, show symptoms of institute being institutionalized. Like, institutionalization.

[Big Ice]

Okay, yeah, I can see that.

[Deontay Kyle]

And they started listing off the signs. I was like, oh, shit, that's me.

[Big Ice]

Reality hit, yo.

[Deontay Kyle]

I was like, I gotta get off this road, right? They was like that. Don't like to talk, don't interact with others. I was not talking to niggas, bro. First of all, I'm constantly. This is where I'm at with it now. Constantly headphones like 24 hours a day. The only time I ain't have headphones in is when I was sleep. So I had like two pair of headphones and both of them bitches do like eight to 10 hours a piece. So when one go out, swap them hoes out, another one in, right? And then it's constant, like, so this one I'm listening to a lot of books. I'm listening to lectures like I'm doing knowledge like a motherfucker, right? And I'm. But I'm also going through like, I'm going through like a lot of like shadow work, so to speak. Like, you know, I've dealt with, I dealt with a lot leading up to that point. You feel what I'm saying? And it's like I have to be mindful of like self sabotaging behaviors.

[Big Ice]

Okay?

[Deontay Kyle]

So like when I talk about high speed, chase self sabotaging behavior, I could have lost my cdl, right? You know what I mean? I'm not here without the cdl. I'm just being real. And I think we need to talk like be honest about the transition from living chaotically, transitioning out of chaos because oftentimes it looked like boredom, right? So then we start going around looking for excitement, looking for stimuli. And a lot of times that stimuli is self sabotaging behaviors. And that can, that could be intertwined with alcoholism and drug abuse, violence, you know what I mean? Just starting. But getting used to being success, having success, getting used to stability can be hard when you come from an unstable background or a chaotic environment. And I look at now like boredom is a blessing for sure. Because ain't nothing boring about not knowing where your rent coming from. Ain't nothing boring about filling out 10 applications a day and you ain't getting no callbacks. Ain't nothing boring about that, right? So transitioning out of a survivor's mentality right into stability can be difficult. And a lot of times that lack of chaos breeds boredom and it breeds self sabotaging behavior. When you don't know that that's what you're dealing with. You don't know that my nervous system is not adjusted to peaceful environment, you know what I mean? Like having to be vigilant to the point where you know what everybody footsteps sound like in the house, like you know, by the footsteps, who it is, That's a level of vigilance. You don't consider it chaos. You just like, you know, these are adaptable, like little patterns that you pick up on. But when you get to a point where it's like you're not dealing, you're not hyper vigilant all the time. You don't like what, what do you do with that? You know what I mean? So like even with me, like I'm not a, I'm, I gotta get drunk, I gotta wake up with a drink, I gotta do it. It's not that, it's just those symptoms that I spoke of like, just understanding that I had symptoms of being institutionalized. All right, we gotta get off that road. It's like, for me, my thing is once I got the information and I know what the problem is, we got to start fast tracking towards the solution.

[Big Ice]

Absolutely.

[Deontay Kyle]

But I think that by being open about it, it helped me deal with it better by not internalizing it. Right. Because it took me a long time to get to a place where it's like, I ain't got nothing to do. I don't know what to do with that.

[Big Ice]

Right.

[Deontay Kyle]

You know what I'm saying? Because normally, like, when you're living with your parents, are you living in the street? It's always something to do. It's always something to get into. Or you always seeking something to get into. Right. So when you get to a space where it's like, I'm chilling today, I don't know what to do with that. I want to get up and go somewhere. I want to get up and do something. I want to get moving, get shaking. And I just now got to a point where, like, if I'm in the bed chilling, like, I don't feel ashamed about it. I just be like, oh, I'm just chilling adult bruh.

[Big Ice]

Chilling.

[Deontay Kyle]

I'm enjoying my rent. I'm enjoying my rent, man. But I think you. You see that a lot of people aren't mindful of those behaviors or mindful like they actions is stemming from not being able to regulate outside of chaos. And so speaking of chaos, you remember when we brought up Shade Room?

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

You know who the OG of black bullshit is?

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

World star hip hop nigga. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. How do we survive it?

[Big Ice]

Chaotic chaos.

[Deontay Kyle]

Pure chaos. Pure black bullshit. That is. That is a litmus test of how much you can take.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Because everything is just the most. Ratchet was watching 30 minute fight compilations, right? Just pure violence.

[Big Ice]

Just pure violence.

[Deontay Kyle]

Pure violence.

[Big Ice]

Kimbo Slice videos just all home hanging out.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, yeah. Next. That desensitized to some of that, bro. And then some of the worst music videos you ever gonna watch in your life.

[Big Ice]

Oh, my God. Such bad quality videos.

[Deontay Kyle]

Bad quality videos, man. Just all the videos the same thing. Luxury car.

[Big Ice]

Yep.

[Deontay Kyle]

Model. Big booty model.

[Big Ice]

That's it.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah.

[Big Ice]

Post it up.

[Deontay Kyle]

Post up. Finna rap. Drop the video also too. It's just like a part of that chaos is family violence too. People that grow up in like, violent homes with violent parents. Parents that fought each other. Yeah, I think, nigga, I celebrated when my parents divorced. Cause I was like, I Ain't gotta deal with this shit no more. I'm so tired of niggas yelling and fighting like you just dip, you just leave out the house like, all right, here they go starting this shit. Let's just go. Yeah, fuck. You know what I'm saying? So, bruh, all this shit like family violence is crazy, you know, I don't, you know the situation that happened at the barbershop. I think about things like that and, and how often things like that happen with men and what they call femicide when are just killing women, bro.

[Big Ice]

And then kill yourself.

[Deontay Kyle]

Kill yourself. And then like the murder suicide. You killed this woman, then you killed yourself. You left your son out here by herself, defending for herself to fend for herself. And just imagine that. Like, imagine he woke up that day, still had plans for his future.

[Big Ice]

He woke up normal.

[Deontay Kyle]

Woke up normal. He would never be the same again.

[Big Ice]

He'd never be the same person because.

[Deontay Kyle]

His mom is gone because his dad and his dad is gone because his dad.

[Big Ice]

Like, how do you even process that?

[Deontay Kyle]

How you even process that? And then of course, and I tell somebody else this, if the son was there, he'd probably be gone too.

[Big Ice]

Probably.

[Deontay Kyle]

It's a fucked up situation.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

But like men, there's nothing she could have done.

[Big Ice]

Nah. Nothing.

[Deontay Kyle]

I'm not, I, I, look, I understand people fight. I understand sometimes people don't know how to talk with their mouths and they like to talk with their hands. I don't approve of that. I don't like domestic violence. I, I don't think anybody likes domestic violence. But me personally, like, if I, if you doing that in front of me, I'm gonna say something. Right? Cause I don't with that. I don't like getting aggressive with women. I don't like putting their hands on women. I understand what the implications are and understand it could be dangerous for a man to step into a situation like that. Right. Because if a butt like that with a woman he likely scared of a man might kill you.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. So I try to mind my business more these days because I got, you know, kids, I got things to lose and trying to run to the defense of a stranger and getting murked is crazy.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

You know what I'm saying?

[Big Ice]

Best thing you do is call the police.

[Deontay Kyle]

Best thing you can do is call the cops. You know what I'm saying? That's their job.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Let them, let the law sort. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think like this, this idea of like with men where it's like, well, we can't control the situation. We can't control a woman and we can't control our feelings to take. For your mind to go imma kill this. It's crazy.

[Big Ice]

Yeah. I even get that.

[Deontay Kyle]

How we even get that far. I'm gonna kill her. And because of what I just did. And I know what I'm facing. I'm kill myself.

[Big Ice]

What?

[Deontay Kyle]

You could have just killed yourself. Yeah, I'm just keeping it being. You want to kill somebody?

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

You.

[Big Ice]

You that mad?

[Deontay Kyle]

You that mad? Take yourself out.

[Big Ice]

Yeah. We're not. We're not.

[Deontay Kyle]

I'm not promoting that either. I'm just saying instead of taking his mom, like, and taking that woman from.

[Big Ice]

Her family life, instead of destroying lives.

[Deontay Kyle]

You destroyed multiple lives, bro.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

And. And for generations to come. You know what I mean? Like, he grows up and he has kids. Those kids have no grandparents, right?

[Big Ice]

Yeah. They want to know their grandparents.

[Deontay Kyle]

And also, how does he even process a relationship now? It's such a layered situation that that boy is going to deal with. And I'm not going to call his name out, but I'm praying for him for sure. But it's just a sad situation, bro. And it's like that family violence, bro. Some people grow up with parents that fight.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Throw at each other. Yeah. Cause a scene. There's nothing worse as a child than being around two adults that absolutely hate each other. You know what I mean? And that was my experience in like late elementary and middle school until my mom came to Atlanta. It's just like, damn, I'm around these people, they hate each other. And you can feel it. Like the energy is palpable. Yeah. They need to hate each other, bro. And of course, like, both of them made bad decisions. You know what I'm saying? Both of them did some up each other. Whether. Whether it was retaliation or not, it's still a up behavior.

[Big Ice]

Yeah. Just endless cycle.

[Deontay Kyle]

It's an endless cycle. And it's a cycle of violence. And I just like, got to really reassess what they relationship is to that family violence and also understand that once you away from it, it's gonna take time to adjust when you're not on your tens all the time. You know what I mean? Like, a lot of grow up. Always on their toes, always on their tens. Like, and also, also too, when you got parents that fly off the handle like that, you got to be mindful of how you behave and what you say.

[Big Ice]

Right.

[Deontay Kyle]

Because they'll direct that at you.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

And no, I just. We just want to support. Support, bro. Support we advocate, bro. We, we love y'all, bro. Like, I know if I've been like, that's the thing that I'm learning more than anything else doing this show is that if I've been through it, somebody else has to.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

And we, by using our platform to speak about these things and to be honest and to be aware and hold myself accountable to these things, hopefully it allows somebody else to be honest about if they have struggles or adjusting out of chaos and things like that. Cause it's like really re regulating your nervous system to like peace, right?

[Big Ice]

That's true.

[Deontay Kyle]

My default is peace now. You know what I mean? So when things flare up, it's like, you know how that, that shit. First of all, when problems arise, you already know how to deal with it. You feel me? But give yourself some grace. If you're struggling with being stimulated all the time, that may be a symptom that you grew up in a chaotic environment and you're gonna be all right to live outside of it. World star Hip hop. We're gonna take a quick commercial break. We're gonna come back, we're gonna do some emails, some voicemails. We, we, we back. We back.

[C]

Hey.

[D]

I'm not gonna say my name, but I will say I love the podcast. I really appreciate you, you guys for being, you know, somebody that's a voice within the black community. And I always standing up for the. I want to start off by saying, you know, I value your guys opinion and I just want to know like, I'm 26. I just turned 26. I'm 26. And I, I got a, I got a good little city job, you know, make a, make a pretty pen. And the side hustle is booming. Okay. I just kind of wish I had somebody to share it with. A lot of times when I am like with a guy or whatever the case may be, it always ends up, you know, us just being like it, we just gonna be friends. You cool as hell. And I'm tired of being cool as hell. Cuz I want a, I want to be able to go on dates and I want to be able to just, you know what I'm saying, take you around my people so you can meet my people because ain't nobody in my family or nothing like that. And I, you know, I just want somebody to share all my accomplishments with, you know, because I am a pillar in the community. But no, for real, for real, like I want to be able to have somebody that's for me. I feel like a lot of times the Reason that I can't really get far within that is because A might see me and be like, damn, I don't really. I'm not on her level or whatever the case may be. And then, like, where I live, like, I'm in Memphis, so the. The litter is a little slim out here, in my opinion, but, I mean, I. I know what I'm looking for, but it's just like, I don't know, we always end up either just being friends or it just somehow doesn't work. So give me some advice on, like, not necessarily how I can get my hoes up, because I don't want a hoes. I just want a wholesome young man that's looking for a nice young lady. Okay. But anyways, again, like I said, thank y'all. I really appreciate, you know, y'all being so. You know what I'm saying? Deep into the community and being down for the. Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Bye. Bye. Thank you. Thank you. We. We knew you was something, man. Yeah.

[Big Ice]

When you started talking.

[Deontay Kyle]

Send us that ig. Yeah, send us that ig. We'll put. Put some pics up. You know what I'm saying? Grizzly Matchmakers now we making matches. Matches made in heaven. Out here maybe. Maybe the love of your life ain't in Memphis, Tennessee.

[Big Ice]

Maybe you got to move.

[Deontay Kyle]

I said I. You got a good city job. It's transferable skills.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Might find you a man in Texas or something.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Good man out there in Texas.

[Big Ice]

Good man in Texas.

[Deontay Kyle]

Find you a. That like to go on trail rides and like that.

[Big Ice]

Yeah. Ride horses.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, yeah. That's like a nice Southern man, not a Memphis. It don't really sound like you and Pooh Shiesty.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, yeah. Money bag, yo.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, yeah. Down south seem like your speed. Keep hope alive, baby. Send us that ig. Yeah, we're gonna put some. We're gonna put some visuals up.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

And then have niggas in the comments. Shoot, they shot right. We got some good men in our comments. Good men. Good men. Listen to grizzly ass podcast.

[Big Ice]

Good wholesome men. Good church going men.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, yeah. That fear God.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Huh? Thank you for calling in. Thank you for the love. Congratulations to you for all your success and your coming up. Continued success to you, sister. We appreciate you. Caller number two.

[C]

Yo, what's up, Deontay? What's up, Big ice cup gritson eggs podcast man. Self made.

[Deontay Kyle]

Cool.

[C]

Oh, we back. Hey, man. Shout out to y'all, dog. My name is Franklin Simpkins. I'm from Richmond Park, Illinois. 29 years old. I'm personally calling because I'm a rapper. My artist name is Frank Vibes. Me and my guy, me and my guy smoke. We recently come together to start essentially our own like multimedia company. Like it's a record label slash clothing brand, Slack, like you know, just so on and so forth. But we, we are huge fans of you brothers. We appreciate what you brothers do. We appreciate the knowledge you brothers share. I damn near agree with almost everything you be saying deontay. And even if it's something I don't agree with, I'm of the Elk where it's like, bro, we don't have to agree on everything to get the revolution going. Had different ideologies throughout time but was still able to come together to make shit happen. So fuck with people personally believe, because that's, that's semantics. We need to. As I personally feel like, and I'm glad you said this, I forgot what episode you said it in, but the semantics. We, we in the diaspora particularly argue semantics like a. When semantics ain't got to do with the suppressing us, killing us and destroying us. The semantics, your religion, your sexual preference, all that shit, bro, we are all human beings and we need to come together as one. Otherwise we are going to get fucking destroyed out here. But beyond that, just connect the wavelength. The wavelength. My name is Frank Voss for a reason, but I'm asking, I'm hitting you brothers up just simply on advice for how you guys got your personal multimedia company to where it is now and how you're continuing to grow and build and make things happen. Me and my God, we want to be the grits and eggs of rap. You know what I'm saying? Like we want to, we don't. When it comes to our music and our craft, we work out every day. We call ourselves the Justice League. Me and Bro are literally Superman and Batman in the flesh. I am Kel, Dark Sun God, reporter for duty. So, you know, like, we really believe this and we care about this. We're using our platforms to educate, uplift and tell stories. So we just want to know what advice would you give young brothers coming up on how to really piece this shit together the right way, not sacrifice our integrity, not give up who we truly are and really educate the people as well as, you know, uplift the community. That's all. Appreciate you brothers.

[Deontay Kyle]

Thank you. Frank Vibes, we'll check some of his music out too. We'll check us out when we do the. What you call it. But I would say, look, I tell Everybody the same thing. We started, it started with me on TikTok and that became a proof of concept. You understand what I'm saying Now you want to build your fan base up incrementally, I don't think unless you do video essays like FD signifier, Lil Bill, Deja Sade. Unless you do things like that where you can just chop clips from and you making like very poignant states and like great opinions on whatever the subject matter is, it has to work in short clips first. That's the only way I'm seeing it done now. This is 2025. Like people are on their phones literally all day. Social media, real reals, TikTok, short form videos have replaced damn near all forms of entertainment for people. So find a proof of concept first. If you do play instruments and things like that, find a place to lend your skills elsewhere so you can build a network and you can become like a working artist or musician. But I would say as far as just like how we did it, it just was a proof of concept. I knew people was interested in my opinions. I started out audio only with the podcast and we was, I had like 3 to 500 dedicated listeners to it. I knew that the visual would, the visual aspect would help it because it's going to help you promote it on social media. It's very hard to promote audio only podcast because it's like how you got, where's, how do you market it, you know what I mean? Especially not being like a well known person. These are all things you got to grow into. So you know, we just started with a proof of concept, knowing that it works on socials, knowing that people, that I have a voice that people want to hear. Transition to the podcast and then just being consistent, consistency and quality will get you where you need to be. You know, we, we are in a space where I'm definitely in the space now where I look at this as a media company. That's how it's incorporated as a media company and we're going to continue to grow on that. And in the space we're in now, the sky is really the limit, you know what I mean? So we're going to continue on, on this path and we wish you all the best. We're going to get to some of these emails and write ins. Hey, a lot of work you're doing for the black community. Writing in to get a male perspective on something. I've been with my boyfriend for two years. I'm 25, he's 28, he's amazing. Man. With the exception of one thing. He lives in my house and acts funny when it's time to contribute to the bills. Well, that is one fucking thing. That is one thing.

[Big Ice]

That's a. That is the thing.

[Deontay Kyle]

That's the thing.

[Big Ice]

That's the thing.

[Deontay Kyle]

God damn. I own a condo. I have a corporate job, work from home. He's a pro football player, not NFL. Signed to a team and expect to be gone in May. But he's staying with me for about a year. Been staying with me for about a year. We never had a conversation about this. He just moved in. The expectation was he pays a portion of the bills and buys groceries. However, it's always something. It's when it's time to pay. There's been times where he sent the wrong amount and claimed it was an accident, didn't have it, had his mom send it. And for the month of March, he keeps saying he's waiting to get paid. Due to his career, he's been catered to and never paid real bills. So I feel like he kind of lacks the ability to be an adult. We've taken trips nationally and internationally. I bought a flight. He pays for everything else. I've gotten several designer bags. Over the course of our relationships, he takes me on dates, talks about providing when we are married. He also has a job working for his parents in the off season. So not contributing on a consistent matter seems like a choice taking a toll on our relationship to the point where I talk disrespectful him. And we haven't had sex in months. He's not cheating, but he does watch porn. Questioning his capabilities as a man. And if he can provide me the life I want down the line. I'm tired of feeling like I'm with a hobosexual. He's a great man in every other area. Yeah. But that's a big area. Yeah. Especially if, like, y'all working together. It's not even like you want him to do 100 of the things. We don't really get into the, like, the weeds of the 5050 conversation. But, like, bro ain't even bringing 50.

[Big Ice]

Right. I think if it's a problem every time it comes up.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. Then I mean, it's not gonna stop just because y'all get married.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Also too. It's just like once you start being disrespectful to the. Once you lose respect for him and y'all not.

[Big Ice]

It's over with now.

[Deontay Kyle]

You just somewhere where you familiar. Well, he's familiar. Well, both.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

You know, What? I mean, they both just doing it out of familiarity. I don't know. I would say, like, if this is something you want to work and a relationship that you want to have for a long standing future, then it's time to get like some professional help involved. But also too, it's just like, if he not gonna. If he's not willing to step up and help with the adult things, it's always going to be a problem.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

And it's never. It's not going to get resolved unless he just really fully steps up. Because. Yeah. Like, if this is the discussion y'all had and every time it come time to it, that's gonna get old. And then the. The. Yeah. Once you don't lost respect for him though, it's.

[Big Ice]

Oh, man, you start resenting them, then.

[Deontay Kyle]

You'Re gonna start resenting them.

[Big Ice]

You know what? It just leave them. No, that dog.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah.

[Big Ice]

I'm not gonna goddamn walk on eggshells with a lead a. Yo, it honestly, man, them bags, them trips, the want to pay no bills.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah.

[Big Ice]

The attitude when it's time to pay some bills, man.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yo, leave that nigga, man.

[Big Ice]

You're doing pretty good for yourself. You got your nice little condo, you got your nice job.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. Because it's like you have to draw the line somewhere. And then the thing is, is like, if you do leave him because of that, he might do the right thing for a little while, but then he'll revert back to the status quo.

[Big Ice]

When it's going, it's going, man.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah.

[Big Ice]

It's over, man.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. You don't lost respect for the. And. And. And y'all not the relationship pretty much.

[Big Ice]

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, man. So.

[Deontay Kyle]

And y'all not even married yet, man.

[Big Ice]

That football career.

[Deontay Kyle]

And you 25, he 28.

[Big Ice]

Yeah. He's like, he's.

[Deontay Kyle]

Hey, man, you, you. You in prime time. You in prime season, baby. Doing good.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, yeah. You all right.

[Deontay Kyle]

Send us the IG we go put pictures of. Put some visuals up there. Find you a man.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice. Nice man to pay bills.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Big Ice]

Put his feet up in that condo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't worry about it, baby. I got it.

[Deontay Kyle]

Come add to it. Make it where you don't got to pay no bills. These out here like that. Yeah, it is good, man. Yeah, man. I think this is over, though. He leaving May also. Y'all didn't never discuss him moving in.

[Big Ice]

He just came. Just there.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. Dicked you in the shelter.

[Big Ice]

Yeah. Bought his PS5 and never left.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. Never left. Yeah. Damn. He wants you to be his mama.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

I think that's chop, baby. I mean, if you can. If you can. If you can stand. If you can stand him until May or maybe you just have to have a conversation like when you leave in May, don't come back.

[Big Ice]

Don't come back. Yeah. Matter of fact, just wait till he leave in May. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait till he leaves.

[Deontay Kyle]

First of all, nigga not even a real football player. Yeah, she said. Nah, she specified not NFL. They made a CFL or something.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, yeah, wait till he leave.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah.

[Big Ice]

And then tell him, yo, you going also, too.

[Deontay Kyle]

Like, he doesn't have any transferable skills, cuz. Like he 28.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

That he in the. He in the latter years of a football player. He's 28 and he's not even playing at the, like, highest professional level.

[Big Ice]

I mean, he's in the Canadian Football League. I give some grace, but.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you know, you're 28, brother. Yeah, 28.

[Big Ice]

You got that much longer left.

[Deontay Kyle]

Unless he a quarterback or a kicker, it's going to be over.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, baby. I think it's a With kid. Break that off.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, yeah. That's the best thing you can do. Please keep my name anonymous. Stay at home mom struggling with husband's infidelity. Here we go, bro. Go again, y'all making the. Y'all making the gender look bad, making us look terrible out here week by week.

[Big Ice]

Damn.

[Deontay Kyle]

Hey, y'all. I want to keep my name anonymous in case people I know are watching and listening to the show. I'm a stay at home mom of four. This is lengthy, so I will try to keep it as comp. As compact as I can, but I feel backstory for Context is helpful. Two older girls, 12 and 10. A son is 8 and 11 month old. My husband works overseas as a sports consultant, meaning if team needs him to scout for new players, he's who they call. Over the years, I suspect he may be doing something, but I never had proof until around 2017, which was three months after just getting married. Woman came to me to tell me about him and it didn't go well. I forgave him because it happened before we were married. Fast forward a few months later, and I found out he was being sexually inappropriate online with other women. When the couple stairs, these things started getting better. 2018, a couple more women came forward. God damn. While I was. While that was going on, I was struggling with postpartum depression and trying to stay off the road to suicide. So I started therapy. Good for you. Found out maybe a year later that he started doing the same thing with another woman. Came for it. Damn yo. His is telling on him boy. They don't respect that. Came forward to tell me he was using his job to trick women who were looking for job opportunities to be sexually inappropriate online. He eventually told me that he developed a porn addiction and a lot of times when he's away from home he gets bored, but he doesn't want to lose me or our family. He also created a fake page and was being sexually inappropriate with my mom and trying to my own mother.

[Big Ice]

What?

[Deontay Kyle]

I was using her phone the whole time because I knew it was him and he lied and said he was just pulling a prank on her but sent a dick pic that wasn't his. Jesus Christ. My therapist told me. Jesus Christ. My therapist told me. Jesus Christ.

[Big Ice]

Okay, what is it?

[Deontay Kyle]

Trying to the mom is crazy dog. My therapist helped me through understanding that if I choose to stay, I have to understand the lifestyle that comes with his career. Who's these around? And lock in on myself. Did that for a few years but suddenly started developing anxiety so bad that I needed meds to function. Fast forward the present day. I had developed panic disorder from the stress of carrying a household on my own for months out the year. Recently another woman came forward and told me he's in another country where she is located and he's using dating apps. She found out that he lied about being married with kids and checked him on it as well as sent proof of their messages. She said he makes a new profile every time she reports him. Usually I take the high road and just talk about it in therapy, but this time I said that made a fake profile, fake name, fake pictures to catch him in his lie. Almost every time he fucks up he can lie his way out of it or I don't have enough proof then I have to change charges to the game. However, I'm going to use a fake profile to catch him. I've never cheated or lied. I've always been honest and honor his boundaries in terms of condition. Our relationship saw my stepfather cheating and beating on my mom as a kid. So I vowed I would never cheat or be abusive to the person I love. I know you're probably wondering why I keep giving him a chance after chance, but the truth is that I really, really love him. We've been together 13 years. He's a phenomenal father to our kid. He does take care of home when he's here. He does a great job when he's away. Bills paid, making sure we don't need anything. Etc. He's also the first person to make me feel safe. I came from abusive, dysfunctional household. Molested, emotionally abused, mentally abused, physical abuse. So I develop anxiety and CPTSD as a child, but was not diagnosed until adulthood when I was depressed and suicidal. He understood that and supports me until it's something that he doesn't understand. I don't know what to do anymore. If I leave, I have no money because I depend on him. Especially while I'm in school. I received my certificate. I don't know if he's going to let this be a smooth transition.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, she's gonna. She's in a sticky spot.

[Deontay Kyle]

Oh, she's. He's got her by the balls.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Kept her pregnant.

[Big Ice]

Pregnant.

[Deontay Kyle]

Kept her pregnant, kept her out of the workforce. I mean this is. This is how get it done.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, you get all the money.

[Deontay Kyle]

He's a piece of shit.

[Big Ice]

Yep. For sure.

[Deontay Kyle]

He. He's a. He's a great dad. Take care of home. He's still a piece of shit. And also all these women keep coming for it. It's like my.

[Big Ice]

What are you doing?

[Deontay Kyle]

What are you doing?

[Big Ice]

This game ain't tight.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, your game ain't even tight enough to be a cheater.

[Big Ice]

He just a. With some money.

[Deontay Kyle]

He a loser with money.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, that's dumb as a. I don't know, man.

[Deontay Kyle]

Listen, baby, I don't like using that porn addiction stuff like. You're just a serial cheater, bro. Yeah.

[Big Ice]

All it is.

[Deontay Kyle]

It's time for you to make a plan.

[Big Ice]

Get the out of there.

[Deontay Kyle]

You need an escape plan. Now if you getting your certificate, like you going to have to really. You going have to really lock in.

[Big Ice]

She got him. She got four kids by this.

[Deontay Kyle]

Well, I mean, yeah, child support is.

[Big Ice]

Going to be phenomenal.

[Deontay Kyle]

Alimony as well.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, you can do your thing.

[Deontay Kyle]

N. You really straight?

[Big Ice]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Cuz it's his fault. Like he's a serial cheater. And then he's doing it before get married. Then after we get married, it's like women coming for. He doing too much. He. He likes the stability of home. He like that having the home to go to. Yeah, he like to get his dick wet on the road.

[Big Ice]

On the road. Y.

[Deontay Kyle]

Just typical man.

[Big Ice]

This, this.

[Deontay Kyle]

If you don't want to be with him anymore though, then we're going to have to like. I mean you need to make sure that you got like the mind to say, all right, I'ma get this a few months. No, not you. You Might have to take a few years to be honest. And you just disengage from the. Like, once you have to turn the cold show. You got to get this the cold shoulder for real. Because if, if he, if he cheating and then you take him back and then you still him and you're doing all like. Y'all got like a 11 month old baby, man. You just had a baby.

[Big Ice]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

So you got a lot to in then. You got a lot of mental health issues. You have to lock in. You have to make a five year plan, five year escape plan. All right? Your baby will be four or five years old by then. Your other two kids would be, damn, they're ready to leave the house. You'll have a. In five years, you'll have a 17, 15, 13, and a five year old. You gotta lock in. You gotta make your five year plan. And I think you need to take the. You need to like remove the forgiveness from like, once you stop. Once you stop giving a fuck about that shit and just understand like, like, you have to. You have to also come to him like, look, you do what you want to do. I'm gonna go other niggas straight up.

[Big Ice]

There you go.

[Deontay Kyle]

You're gonna have to. You're gonna have to really, like, you could love him all you want, but the actions that he's taking is not loving and it's embarrassing and it's disrespectful. And then you're gonna have to just lay down a lot like, no, that's cool. Yeah, it's good. Once you stop giving a. It's gonna change his behavior, but then it's too late.

[Big Ice]

Yep.

[Deontay Kyle]

And then he gonna be begging because you, you create the. The stable environment and the facade for him. Like, I'm a father of four, married, and when I'm going on the road, I'm out here trying to. Everything walking. Even your mom.

[Big Ice]

That's crazy. I would. I'm surprised she's even dead surprising.

[Deontay Kyle]

Kill him in his sleep.

[Big Ice]

What the going on?

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, so I think you're gonna have to like, really that. That I love him. He a great man. You just got to take that out your vocabulary. Let him be a good dad and turn. Give him that boy the cold shoulder and then just have a real conversation. Like, look, the baby finna be one. I'm gonna go other niggas just straight up. Because at this point it's like, if you're not, then what you doing?

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

You know what I'm saying? After four kids and you probably like Feel like, damn, I've been pregnant, my body changing. I got all this responsibility with these children. And then he's like, he just keeping you pregnant Back to back. 12, 10 and 8. Was like, okay, we should stop. 11 months.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Nigga waited seven years to get you pregnant again. That's a nigga that's also trying to keep you like trapped to the household because the other child was old enough where he was probably getting back outside hanging out with friends. I gotta get her pregnant.

[Big Ice]

I get it back.

[Deontay Kyle]

Gotta get her pregnant.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, she's probably wild. Not them seven.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Big Ice]

She probably start wild going to brunch, hanging with the female. Hanging with the. Hanging with the girls.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. And the girls know he ain't.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to get her pregnant.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, you would. You were a real piece of. I don't like throwing out narcissists and like that because I don't know, I'm not a psychologist, but he's something.

[Big Ice]

No.

[Deontay Kyle]

Oh, he's a piece of shit.

[Big Ice]

Damn.

[Deontay Kyle]

Oh, yeah. I had to get that off. We wish you the best. Make a five year plan.

[Big Ice]

Yeah. Get up out of there.

[Deontay Kyle]

And then you got folks four child support checks and alimony.

[Big Ice]

Hey, we getting money, we getting money.

[Deontay Kyle]

I got my certificate. You got your certificate. You have your career going. You're gonna be like maybe three, four years into your career.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

And you finna get them checks, getting money. Yeah. I mean, I hope all that was worth it, brother.

[Big Ice]

Put that shit in the safe.

[Deontay Kyle]

Put that shit in the safe, you hear me? Get more money.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, more money, more money, more money.

[Deontay Kyle]

Five checks a month. What? That boy gonna be poor?

[Big Ice]

Yeah, he gonna be.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. Damn, all this wasn't worth it. Yeah, it wasn't worth it. Hey, deontay big ice cub cat. Rocking with y'all boys before the P. Living. What you do? Lately I've been feeling like nothing's going my way. 32 year old college graduate from Houston, Texas. I've spent my whole life in survival mode. I just got fired from my substitute teaching job. Don't worry, not no weird, great, okay? And I love that. I love, then, then hate it. But now I have no income. I work and live on a Hispanic heavy side of town. Been called the N word at these schools a few times. I've always had motivation. I've always had discipline. I've always had a plan. But nothing ever works. I don't have a car, so I can't take jobs across town. As far as buses, more than two buses, more than two. No can do. I got my license at 24. I've been heavy behind the wheel since 2017. Can't go back to school. I'm on section 8 tenant mentally disabled housing. That will impact how much rental assistance I get. I try to be resilient because I was homeless six years ago, but now I feel stranded. The way you guys talk about young men and women with degrees, I feel like a letdown. My degree is in the music business, but it almost feels useless. Useless in the city of Houston, In a city like Houston, of all place. I don't date because I know that takes resources that I don't have right now, which leads to great loneliness. D, you said love was a revolution. Huey Newton's young. Huey Newton once said, the young always inherit the revolution. I truthfully see a correlation. But after everything I've dealt with, I don't want the classroom anymore. I just need some advice and motivation on continuing to whatever path is for me. Please don't sell. Please don't say cdo, because I don't even trust myself in the civic. Keep it a good work, fellas. If y'all ever have a Houston show, I'll be there like a young Michael Jackson. Assuming Uber won't be expensive now. We'll just send you. That's a tough spot to be in at 32. Also, you need to give yourself some grace. You. There's a lot of factors at play here. It doesn't seem like there's a lack of effort, like. Like you're saying, like mentally disabled housing. You obviously have mental health issues and things like that where you're going to need that extra help, but you also can't look at everybody else and decide that you're letting anybody down. Success comes at different spaces, you know what I mean? Like, I'm 34, bro. Like, we could say. I would say, like, it was a slow grind from getting my CDL at 29 to, like, really find the stability at, like, what, 31, 32 took some time, you know what I mean? And it's gone. And it's going to continue to take time because once you get it, you got to keep it. I would say as far as, like, figuring out what your prospects is. And I would say find the. Find the easiest transferable skill set that you can right now. As far as, like, you as a substitute teacher, if you can get back into that, then that'd be great.

[Big Ice]

Good Lord. I tell you, I'm hungover.

[Deontay Kyle]

Without transportation, things can get a little sticky, a little difficult. So I feel for you on that. Respect, brother. Send me your resume. I got your name right here. Send me your resume and maybe next episode. We got plenty of fans in the Houston area.

[Big Ice]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Somebody can help. And somebody can help you. Yeah, you know, like, at least with that, that'll get the income part going. I wouldn't say cdl. There's tons of other trades we can do. Tons of other trades that you can pick up.

[Big Ice]

He has a degree, though.

[Deontay Kyle]

And what he was saying this in the music business, though, but what type.

[Big Ice]

Of degree is it?

[Deontay Kyle]

I don't know. Send me your resume, send me all your information, and we'll see what we can do as far as like just floating the idea out there and seeing if we can get you some help, especially in the Houston area. And once I get your information, the next episode, we'll shout it out and we'll see what kind of help we can get you. But I mean, don't give up. You know, this is a tough time. Not a tough life. Like you're just going through a tough little rough little patch right now, but you have some resources. You, you have shelter. You, you know, you don't want to go back to homelessness. You know what that's like. So I'll just keep pressing for it. And then once you get in a place where you have this steady income again, then you can start thinking about, like, what you want to do next. And a lot of those trades. Trades work on grants.

[Big Ice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Like on a grant based system. Like as long as you get employment and they help you get employment. So it's tons of different trades you can do and things like that. It's also like a work from home option. You know, if you have a, if you have a certain skill sets, figure out a work from home option, especially while you don't have transportation, which will help mitigate that issue. But reach out and then if you do have like some transferable skills, if I'm pretty sure there's people out there that can put you on to a work from home job, you know what I mean? Especially ones where they supply all the shit. And then you'll be, you'll. You'll be, you'll get the ball rolling. So send me your resume, send me all your information, and then we'll float that out and I'll think about some options for you. And then we'll float that out next episode. But thank you for writing in. This concludes episode 56 of the Christine Eggs podcast. We are about to record new music Mondays episode number two. Oh, so we got a few. We got nice, nice little group of submissions. We're going to start getting into that thing.

[Big Ice]

Well, let's do it.

[Deontay Kyle]

Let's do it. Till next time, take care of yourselves and each other. We out.