Episode 75 - One Beer Left ft. KevOnStage

Summary

Grits and Eggs Podcast
Episode 75: "One Beer Left" ft. KevOnStage
Release Date: July 15, 2025
Host: Deante’ Kyle
Guest: KevOnStage

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Introduction to Guests and Main Themes

In Episode 75 of the Grits and Eggs Podcast, host Deante’ Kyle engages in a deep and unfiltered conversation with comedian and content creator KevOnStage. Together, they navigate a myriad of topics ranging from the artistry inherent in rap music to personal struggles with incarceration, the intricacies of digital content creation, and the pervasive influence of nepotism in the entertainment industry.

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The Artistry of Rap and Poetry

The episode kicks off with a passionate discussion about the poetic nature of rap music. Deante’ Kyle emphasizes the lyrical depth and creativity of rappers, asserting that they are "in the same lineage as Shakespeare" ([01:47]). KevOnStage concurs, highlighting Kanye West's admiration for poets and the sensitivity required in songwriting.

KevOnStage (01:52): "Kanye said, like, if we was poets, I'd be the best poet. Like, whatever it was, that was the top art form. That's what I would do."

This conversation underscores the recognition of rap as a legitimate and sophisticated art form, deserving of the same respect as traditional poetry and literature.

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The Evolution of Music Consumption

Deante and Kev delve into the nostalgia of physical music media, lamenting the absence of CD booklets that once provided track lists, liner notes, and additional insights into artists' visions.

Deante’ Kyle (03:25): "We don't have that no more, bro."

They reminisce about the days when fans could engage more deeply with music through detailed album art and notes, contrasting it with today's digital streaming platforms that often lack such depth.

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Experiences with Incarceration and Personal Transformation

A significant portion of the conversation touches on KevOnStage’s past experiences with incarceration. He candidly shares his journey, recounting how repeated incarcerations influenced his approach to fatherhood and deterred him from a life of crime.

KevOnStage (07:06): "Yeah. I got a lot of mug shots. I actually used it as a point of reference now with my son. Like, you wanna be this? See, that's all you wanna be this."

This segment highlights the transformative power of personal responsibility and the desire to break cycles of crime for the sake of future generations.

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Balancing Career and Personal Life

The duo discusses the challenges of balancing demanding jobs with personal aspirations. KevOnStage shares anecdotes from his time working at Boeing, illustrating the mundanity and inefficiency he faced despite the company's renowned operational prowess.

KevOnStage (13:03): "That's crazy."

Deante contrasts this with his own experiences juggling multiple part-time jobs while striving to support his family and pursue creative endeavors.

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Comedy as an Outlet and Creative Expression

Comedy emerges as a critical theme, with both hosts exploring its role as a coping mechanism and a means of creative expression. KevOnStage elaborates on his journey in stand-up comedy, detailing how his early routines often drew from his church experiences and personal hardships.

KevOnStage (32:31): "The thing is about it that's so interesting. You don't know what's normal or abnormal if it is everything around you."

They discuss the evolution of comedic content, with KevOnStage reflecting on his time with shows like "Roast Me" and "Great Taste," emphasizing the uniqueness and cultural significance of these platforms.

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Digital Content Creation and Influence

The conversation shifts to the volatile nature of digital content creation. Both Deante and KevOnStage share their experiences with platforms like TikTok, YouTube, and Vine, underscoring the unpredictability of online fame and the importance of diversifying income streams.

Deante’ Kyle (70:48): "I have multiple streams of income. That's why on tour I got the podcast, I got the book, I got Spectrum."

They caution against relying solely on digital platforms, advocating for financial prudence and the establishment of stable, long-term income sources.

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The Role of Networking and Nepotism in Success

Addressing systemic issues in the entertainment industry, Deante and KevOnStage critique the prevalence of nepotism and the barriers it creates for aspiring black creatives. They discuss how personal connections often outweigh talent and hard work, highlighting the challenges faced by those without established networks.

KevOnStage (101:12): "Racism is a big problem in Hollywood. But the more dangerous problem is nepotism."

This segment calls attention to the need for equitable opportunities and the dismantling of preferential systems that hinder diversity and meritocracy.

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Crime, Poverty, and Social Programs

The hosts delve into the correlation between poverty and crime, discussing how lack of access to resources and opportunities often leads individuals to illegal activities as a means of survival.

KevOnStage (90:27): "Crime is a byproduct of poverty. It's not an innate thing. It's a lack of access."

They advocate for robust social programs and community initiatives as solutions to reduce crime rates and provide alternatives for those in impoverished conditions.

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Parenting and Legacy

A heartfelt discussion ensues about the impact of one's actions on their children. Both Deante and KevOnStage emphasize the importance of serving as positive role models, illustrating how their professional journeys influence their sons' aspirations and behaviors.

KevOnStage (94:02): "My sons. My son just started his own YouTube channel. This nigga is me all over again, right?"

This conversation highlights the intergenerational impact of career choices and the responsibility parents bear in shaping their children's futures.

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Closing Remarks and Future Plans

As the episode winds down, Deante and KevOnStage reflect on their personal growth and the lessons learned from past experiences. KevOnStage mentions his upcoming book, "Successful Failure," aiming for the New York Times bestseller list, and discusses future collaborations, including a possible cameo in KevOnStage's project, "Churchy."

KevOnStage (105:51): "Successful failure. The book, if you had a good time. My life story is in that book. September 23rd. Pre order it now."

They conclude with mutual support and plans to promote each other's projects, reinforcing the importance of community and collaboration in overcoming industry challenges.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Deante’ Kyle (01:22): "Kanye didn't know his father. He met his father. No ID."

• KevOnStage (07:20): "I've been there, youngster."

• KevOnStage (20:23): "Call you an Uber. Call you an Uber."

• Deante’ Kyle (35:18): "You trying me. Y' all trying to make funny for real, right?"

• KevOnStage (93:28): "They letting it go and felt good about it."

• Deante’ Kyle (105:21): "I'm on the spot. Hey, this is where the deals get made, baby."

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Conclusion

Episode 75 of Grits and Eggs Podcast offers an unflinching exploration of personal and systemic challenges within the realms of entertainment, creativity, and personal growth. Through candid dialogues and poignant anecdotes, Deante’ Kyle and KevOnStage provide listeners with both relatable humor and sobering insights, painting a comprehensive picture of the complexities faced by black creatives in navigating their careers and personal lives.

Whether grappling with the pitfalls of digital fame, the remnants of past incarcerations, or the intricate dance of networking and nepotism, the episode serves as a testament to resilience and the unyielding pursuit of authenticity in the face of adversity.

Transcript

[A]

Yeah. Woke up in the morning and to God be the glory Thankful for another day to tell my story Put my opinions in the universe and let them orbit I'm from the dirty south with a dirty mouth My knee orbit, miss things Things on me like a Norbit had to refuse them cause my no rest and she gorgeous As I dab my sons up and kiss my daughter forehead Tell them we gonna get this money to my pockets Mor. Remember living in apartments now we playing mortgage. You ain't gotta like a nigga Regardless, baby, I'm blessed and I keep that blick with me. We like grits and eggs as you sip your coffee Flick your cigarette and let a nigga vent. Yeah, right.

[B]

That's crazy. Grandma, you supposed to be watching Matlock.

[A]

Yeah. Nah, I need Matlock. Yeah, I got a Matlock on my team. On payroll. Oh, no, no. I think the funniest thing about it is, though, like, watching them in their interviews. So articulate. Yeah. So like, like it. I hate calling black people well spoken. But they are, right. It's a juxtaposition of what they talk about in their music.

[B]

I love it. It's the artistry of it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Very. Yeah, bro, when you think about. I was just talking about this earlier. Rappers are poets.

[A]

Real shit.

[B]

They are artists. Like, it's an art form. The same way painting is art and sculpting is art. Like, I mean, we associate, like, you know, a lot of times, gang stuff, you know, which is also part of it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

At the end of the day, niggas is rhyming.

[A]

Nah. Yeah.

[B]

And working hard.

[A]

Like, no, we'll go. No. They are in the same lineage as Shakespeare, 1,000%.

[B]

Kanye said, like, if we was poets, I'd be the best poet. Like, whatever it was, that was the top art form. That's what I would do. It's the same skill set. You really are artists who's sensitive.

[A]

Write about your rhymes and couplets. Like, bruh, being sensitive in the context is like, I kill n and sell drugs. And it's like, but you better respect this shit.

[B]

I'm in the pocket on this rapper.

[A]

Yeah. Cause Malice said anything over half a mil, we call Fakasha. And I'm like, okay, what the fuck is Fakasha? Now I gotta go on Google. Then I found out Fakasha is bread. I'm like, oh, these niggas is different. They doing a different thing over here.

[B]

That's fantastic.

[A]

Yeah. I love everything about it.

[B]

I remember one time I was talking to my boy, he was talking about Kanye and I didn't grow up listening to, like, full rap albums like that church kid. I heard the singles, you know what I'm saying? Aware. Stuff like that. And Kanye said, then I met no ID and something else. And I was like, oh, Kanye didn't know his father. He met his father. No id. And my boy was like, no, man.

[A]

Nah, bro.

[B]

Producer's name is no id.

[A]

I was like, oh, okay, bruh. Bruh. Having an epiphany and being wrong. That's so embarrassing.

[B]

I'm so embarrassed, bro. Cause I was like, this nigga, he here. He's like, no, man, no idea. He's a producer. What are you. You didn't know? And then it was like, not only did you know that you didn't know. No idea.

[A]

Oh, you don't know what you talking about now?

[B]

I'm being quiet.

[A]

Yeah, got to.

[B]

Cause they ain't got the CD booklets no more, man. I used to look at the back of that. We don't have that no more, bro.

[A]

I used to read that again, man. Listen, it's a CD booklet.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

It's the track list, the liner notes, the extra pictures. Extra pictures?

[B]

I wanna see the whole role. Who's allowed. Who's a songwriter, who produ. I used to know that stuff.

[A]

That shit don't exist no more.

[B]

Apple Music don't tell you that stuff. You don't. I mean, it's not easy. Click. I was on the CD cover.

[A]

Like, oh, okay.

[B]

You can see the whole vision of the album. We don't have that. That was part of it.

[A]

Back when you could buy a XXL album and get a full album from an unknown rapper. Yes. Like, just like the most hyped rapper, they trying to push him. And then you get to see you like, I don't want to hear this shit.

[B]

Throwing it out the window.

[A]

Yeah. We run the King Magazine days. Yes. This is when we fall in love with Trina.

[B]

Hold on.

[A]

You did.

[B]

I'm Tabby.

[A]

35.

[B]

Okay. You closer than I thought.

[A]

Yeah, you closer than I thought. How old are you?

[B]

42.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Seven year difference.

[B]

Yeah, but we was in the same. You know what I'm saying? It's a millennial. And you ain't even the young one. You ain't like the 30.

[A]

I'm a mid. Millennial.

[B]

You mid? Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Elder Stadium.

[B]

Geriatric Millennial. They ain't had to throw that on there. Geriatric is wildly unnecessary. Older is fine.

[A]

When they started saying elder, I was like, y' all gotta Slow down, bro.

[B]

I promise you. I became unknown in a weekend I was never unk. And then I realized, like, nigga, I ain't unking. My boy was like, n. You're 39, you 40.

[A]

You unk.

[B]

You unk for sure.

[A]

If you post on TikTok for a week and they see any signs of age, you unk, you unk. If you just be like, yeah, man, I had to wake up at 5am to go to work. You unknick. You mean work? I got a test today. Old ass nigga.

[B]

That's so true, man. We live in different worlds on the same app.

[A]

It is. You know, I was. I had. Took my son phone on some, like, let me just see what you be checking out. And I'm looking at his algorithm. I'm like, bruh, I don't even know this side of the world exists.

[B]

Absolutely. Me and my wife live in the same house, sleep in the same bed. Those TikTok algorithms are way wildly different. She showed me a nigga in jail dancing. She's like, you seen this? I've been in prison talk. I wasn't there for a while. Like, she didn't know it existed. I bet they be playing basketball live on there. You know how comfortable you gotta be in jail playing hoop. Hooping live like, you in jail. They like, check up.

[A]

It's a production. It's live on the.

[B]

There's no guards walking by. Nobody is bothered by being carol, bro. Thank you.

[A]

I'm like, hold on, bro. It's game point. Just chill.

[B]

Seriously. In the, like, little common area, hooping live. Like, I was watching like this. I don't understand what I thought I knew about jail.

[A]

Nah. Yeah, you don't know nothing about jail.

[B]

They regular hooping in here.

[A]

I knew that I didn't want to go back to jail. When the nigga told me, oh, prison is better than this. I'm cool.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He was like, yo, prison, you get a little bit more freedom. I was like, oh, but the thing is, it's like once you start having conversations with people that can't wait to go to prison, oh, yeah. They like, bro, I can't.

[B]

Oh, y' all had those. I ain't had that conversation yet. That was.

[A]

I felt that that might not even be common in this room. That's a me thing.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. When I was, like, from 17 to, like, 21, I got locked up probably like 13 times.

[B]

Deontay what you was doing? Crimes, crime, crimes, Lord. Really? For real? Thirteen times?

[A]

Yeah. I got a lot of mug shots.

[B]

Really?

[A]

I actually used it as a point of reference now with my son. Like, you wanna be this? See, that's all you wanna be this.

[B]

No, this is where you're going now. Keep on down the way you're going and this is where you gonna end up. It ain't gonna be funny till you end up.

[A]

I've been there, youngster.

[B]

I've been in there.

[A]

Yeah, but then it be hard to have that conversation. Be like, but you got like a, a popular podcast. I'm like, that's not the point.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I'm saying go for the popular podcast then, but don't go to jail. You know what I'm saying? You ain't got the jail part. Yeah, absolutely. So with your son, your oldest is how old?

[B]

18. 18 and 16.

[A]

So you are a director? Yeah. You directed those first videos. First of all, when I found out them was your kids, I was like, oh, what the fuck? Yeah, he been in the game.

[B]

I've been in the game a long time.

[A]

A long time.

[B]

Behind the camera. I was writing, directing, producing, editing those and working full time at Boeing. Yeah, like I would come home from work and what'd you do at Boeing? I was a scheduler. So that's basically. It's glorified data entry.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. It's big brain activity.

[B]

Yeah, no deontay, I promise you. I kid you not.

[A]

I feel like it just take that.

[B]

It's not.

[A]

Just take it a room.

[B]

I need to dispel this rumor. My job at Burger King was infinitely more difficult than Boeing.

[A]

Oh shit.

[B]

Keeping the bruh, you mess up a nigga whopper on they lunch break.

[A]

Nah, that is dangerous, bruh.

[B]

Infinitely more stressful than making a mistake on an Excel spreadsheet.

[A]

I ain't gonna lie.

[B]

I think it's on his lunch break. And now you gotta remake it. I said x the onions. You put extra onions. Now I got seven minutes less of my break. Infinitely harder, way more stressful than that.

[A]

30 minute break is criminal actually, bro, it's wild.

[B]

And I spent five driving ten, waiting another five. You messing up. Now I gotta eat on my way back to work. He pissed at me the whole time.

[A]

Word.

[B]

And you was talking about. And it's literally my fault. He was talking fast, you know what I'm saying? I thought he said x the onions. He said extra and I want it right. Cause I gotta go back to work.

[A]

For four or five more hours. I ain't gonna lie. Truck driving will do that to you too. Like you get real particular about your fast food for sure. I remember one time, like, I opened my Whopper and it wasn't cut in half. And I almost, like, almost lost my fucking mind. Because the Whopper is sloppy, right?

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

It's a lot of moving parts. So when you get it cut in half, it really do, like, streamline the experience, you know what I'm saying? Lot of iceberg lettuce on that Whopper.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You did the worst cut of lettuce, if we being honest. It's just let it, you know, it's just green. You know what I'm saying? But she was like, sir. I was like, I'm gonna keep it real. This ain't got nothing to do with you.

[B]

It really don't.

[A]

I really just been gone for three weeks and I saw the advertisement and I said, man, a Whopper would be good. And I pulled up here and I just wanted my shit cut in half. That's all, man.

[B]

And sometimes it's.

[A]

I just needed a win.

[B]

That's strong. That's strong. Tyler had that part, right. You don't know what the last thing. A nigga might be able to do a lot and go through a lot, but I expected that Whopper cut in half. You was already visualizing your first fight.

[A]

This is another thing too, when they. Sometimes they cut the Whopper in half through the paper.

[B]

1,000. You did. Yeah.

[A]

So when I opened it and I didn't see the cut in the paper, I started getting a little anxious. Like, I could feel the anger, like, you know what I'm saying, building up. And then she was like, so I'm. So I go. I don't leave the counter. I stay right there at the counter, open my shit up. And I was like, bullshit. She was like, well, she was like, is everything okay? I was like, honestly, this has nothing.

[B]

To do with you.

[A]

This is three weeks away from my family. Yes, this is. I've been to Texas and Pennsylvania twice, like, back and forth. And now they got me going to Miami from, like, Rhode island. And I'm just finna be on 95 for the rest of my life. That's how I feel. And you fucked this Whopper up. And I just needed a dub today. And this actually ruined everything. It's like, it's one o'.

[B]

Clock.

[A]

My day is ruined.

[B]

It be the little things like that.

[A]

It'll be the little things.

[B]

And that's what I'm saying, that at Boeing, you'll never deal with that. Like, it seems hard. It's really, like, low key crazy that I feel like. And I'm not even like every job at Boeing's, not easy. My job was easy because Boeing was a very efficient company by the time I got there on that program. But essentially, if you want to buy a Toyota Camry, right? And you say, oh, I wanted four door black CD player. That's just what ordering an airplane is. All I had to do is take your order. You Southwest, you say, okay, Southwest. There's no first class. They got this many seats this close together. All that stuff's done. All I had to do is really put the, the line number in, which is like the license plate, the date entered the factory wings. I mean, it was all an Excel thing. I entered this information and my job was done. And the crazy thing about that job, this is how efficient born was. The plane comes in the fuselage. Fuselage is basically like an empty cigar tube on a train. Empty on a train. Like a cigar tube. 11 calendar days from the day that fuselage enters the factory, it flies out. 11 calendar days they work on that plane for 24 hours a day. 11 days straight. Empty. Like you have a straw. The 11th day they test flight. There's a little airfield behind there. And then they deliver it.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

That's how good that company work.

[A]

That is very efficient. It's also like eerily efficient.

[B]

And here's the crazy thing, Deontay. The wings are delivered the day the wings go on. There's no storage in the Boeing factory. There's not like a box of parts. The thing comes in. The day it gets in that factory. It's being applied like that's how efficient the company was. It's too efficient.

[A]

It's too efficient. This is why they've also ran into like a mistrust.

[B]

Not even then.

[A]

And you ain't helping.

[B]

I sure am.

[A]

11 days, less than two weeks. You had your airplane off the press. Goddamn it. Off the press. Nah. The thing about I used to have to fly a lot. Like when you truck driving is like a thing you could do anywhere. Yeah, yeah. So you could have a job based in Nevada. They'll just fly you out there.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

And then you just like go there, do orientation, get in a truck and go. And they work you back home.

[B]

Got it?

[A]

You know what I'm saying? Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I was in a plane and this like, probably around the time where this is the most I had been in a plane in like one calendar year. And it was like literally twice. Yeah. But like the second time I was in there and like, everything was smooth and we was just in the air I was like, oh, it's a bus for sure. This is a bus in the sky. That's all it is. And, like, it took all the glamour away from it. I was like, oh, this ain't even blah. For real. This ain't even as cool as I'm.

[B]

Like, in my mind, they have routes, too. Like, they following the same route. It goes back. That plane goes back and forth.

[A]

They're so good at it. And they've been doing it so long that, like, the fact that it's in the air is insignificant.

[B]

And you really. I be in the air. Like, I'll take 15 flights a month, and pretty much every time I get up there, I'd be like, we should not be able to do this. We should not be able to. Like, I feel you on technology and man and God.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But you should not be able to travel 500 miles per hour, yo.

[A]

But I'm looking down on clouds. This shit. And it's like a blanket, bro. So then now I'm looking as far as the eye can see. Nothing but clouds.

[B]

We shouldn't be able to do that.

[A]

Yeah, this is a little awkward. We shouldn't. You really gotta turn your brain off on the airplane. Cause if you start thinking too much, you might freak the floor.

[B]

It becomes very nihilistic. Like, bro, I could die. I should die. I should be dead. And honestly, it's my fault. Honestly, if I die, it's on me.

[A]

Cause I ain't supposed to be up here 1,000%. Yeah.

[B]

And every level of technology. When the train came out, people were like, man, this God is unpleased. Like, you, there's a train in London that goes under the ocean. Word? What are you talking about?

[A]

Word. What do you mean? And we ain't even talking about, like, the bullet trains in Japan.

[B]

We not even. Like, you can't think too much about that.

[A]

Cause I think those trains go, like 300.

[B]

Yes. I've been on them. And it feels like.

[A]

Feels like nothing.

[B]

Feels like. And what's 300? 400. 400. I ain't got no frame of reference.

[A]

Real talk.

[B]

I'm just gonna be going fast.

[A]

I'm not a pilot.

[B]

I don't know, bro, you need a frame of reference. Like, if you see a plane flying, you see how fast it's flying.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Cause you're on the ground.

[A]

Yeah. Because you're like, oh, it's here and now it's there. And now it's gone in like 15 seconds.

[B]

You can't tell the difference. It feels like you're moving slow.

[A]

Yeah. Honestly, that's trippy as fuck. Because it's like, yo, I was just in Atlanta. I'm in Philadelphia. It's been three hours.

[B]

You live on the plane, See another.

[A]

Plane come under the plane?

[B]

No, bruh. Now, that frame of reference will really mess you up. No, I don't need directions or just going like that.

[A]

I be scared of that ever since I seen Breaking Bad.

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

You remember one? Shortest one in the world. Her pops was just like, fuck it, fuck it. Somebody got it down my daughter. You know what I'm saying? They put my daughter on a dog food. Fuck these planes.

[B]

Nigga.

[A]

Jesse Pinkman killed my daughter. I'm gonna kill everybody that's dark. See, but this also another thing too. Is like, human error is, like, so real in everything. Yeah. It's like, you can't afford to think about human error when you. Like, when your life is at risk. No, you gotta trust the pilot.

[B]

Honestly, when you think about driving a car, like, as casual as we are, changing the song. You driving 60 miles per hour, bro. You really going, like, in a one ton machine that if you crash, can explode. Yeah, and we got the song going. We eating a Whopper. We texting. Yeah, nigga, I'm on the way, bro. We need to see you not looking at the road.

[A]

First of all, this how bad, like, technology is. We was just talking about this last night. Like, I have so my first, like, big boy purchase as an adult, man. You know what I'm saying? Fuck all this stuff. I'm talking just, like, where I felt like I am an adult. I had got a Kia off the lot, you know what I'm saying? Got a Kia Sportage.

[B]

Do it to him, bro.

[A]

I was like, portage. I was like, n. Can't fuck with me.

[B]

What you got, nigga?

[A]

Truck driver money, man. You know what I'm saying? Get you a trade.

[B]

Get you a trade. The fry little nigga. Y' all ain't got no trade.

[A]

Yeah, Yeah, I don't like that.

[B]

He ain't doing shit.

[A]

That sound crazy to me. Nigga ain't got no kids around here, huh? Oh, you niggas ain't got responsibilities. I don't even know nothing about that. I've been a daddy since I was 20.

[B]

N hit him with a spin.

[A]

Yeah. Can't kill sportage. And look, when I pulled up at the crib, look, this is another thing too. Like, on some dad shit, you know when you do some shit that's kind of like fly, you like, oh, I can't wait to see this. Like, the new car smell like. Yeah, get in here. Smell it, smell it. Touch shit. I remember when, like, I remember when my mama bought, like a Pathfinder off the lot. Yeah, it's like 99. I was like some motherfucking spaceship, man, this shit crazy. Oh, shit, B, you got the gold VBS on this motherfucker. Yeah. I was like, just touching shit. Like, I remember just being fascinated by, like, the sunglass thing. You know what I'm saying? And then so my kids was like, oh, shit. So fast forward. I had traded that joined in like two weeks ago for a Sorento, you know, Now I'm going next. I'm getting a Telluride. When I get that Telluride, niggas ain't gonna be able to tell me shit.

[B]

Now I do the telling around here. I'm a Telluride. I'mma tell you where to ride.

[A]

Fuck you talking about, nigga?

[B]

What?

[A]

I went to the whole nother level with that sorrento.

[B]

A real nigga with a sorrento is just a very funny visual. N. I'm in the prison.

[A]

It's me, nigga.

[B]

I'm not sorrento around.

[A]

Yeah, man, back that thing up, man. Fuck it. You know what I'm saying? I got the five on deck, nigga. I love this look. So it's a third row seating of sorrento. My kids was like, oh, this is so efficient. Yeah. Like, we ain't even gotta sit all up on each. Cause in the sport, as you know, we was elbow to elbow. We could get back there. I'm like, cool, but the self driving feature.

[B]

Oh, snap.

[A]

You know? Well, you know the junk, they keep you in the lane.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

So you ain't got to worry about it. Yeah, nigga, that's not cool, right? Cause, and I'm. We're not encouraging this behavior, but when you get drunk, it do make the drive home a lot easier. You can't just. You can't just hop on 20, hit the self, ride cruise control 70 in the middle lane and just bob, no. And you'll fuck around and be like, put your hands on the wheel, like, oh, yeah, my bad, my bad. I was just.

[B]

I do not condone jump driving.

[A]

I was just like two minutes like this.

[B]

Like, do not condone jump driving.

[A]

Where's my camera?

[B]

Call you an Uber. Call you an Uber.

[A]

It technically is an Uber. Kia.

[B]

Call you an Uber.

[A]

Lane correction, cruise control. This is a Uber now. Yeah. Don't drink and drive. Please don't. I have seen DUIs literally ruin the mental health of plenty of people because they think shit is sweet and it ain't. And then they got to go to aa and then they start meeting real drunks. Like, you was drinking for fun. These niggas is drinking, too.

[B]

That's a disease. That's a problem. For real. Like, you got a chemical imbalance. Cause you know you're not supposed to do this. And you know, like, one more, you gonna ruin stuff. And you can't stop.

[A]

You can't stop. You gotta get stop. No, it's a thing in your brain that's like, one more. When has one more ever hurt anybody? I met, like, literally every time.

[B]

You gotta, like, don't do this.

[A]

What's your relationship with alcohol? You don't drink?

[B]

I drink church kid. So I grew up. Drinking is a sin, right? The worst sin. A drunkard, drunkard. Then I found out my grandma had a bottle of Seagrams behind the tv.

[A]

The bumpy face. This is confusing to me.

[B]

I thought we couldn't drink. And I was 19. I remember going to my grandma's house, and my aunt had a whole bunch of Zimas in there. And I'm like, let me. Let's time out.

[A]

What are we talking about? Zima's is really showing. It's really showing. Your age.

[B]

I'm unk.

[A]

Anyway. Yeah.

[B]

So I might as well tell the truth.

[A]

Listen, when I used to be watching wrestling and the Zima commercial come on. I said, I need to get on that.

[B]

It looks so refreshing.

[A]

Yeah, it did.

[B]

They was being stuck to the wall. Then the Zima would get you off the wall. I said, what kind of manner of man is this? This gotta be the most refreshing thing. It looks like malt liquor. It's, like, terrible. Apparently you never tasted it, but my aunt had some Zima. She had some daiquiris and stuff. I'm like, yo, are we not supposed to drink or not? She was like, well, you're not supposed to. I was like, no, no, no. We all said we was not doing this. So then I remember me and Melissa was our first for real drink. Shot a patron. I was 29 in LA. My son was shooting a movie, Little Roscoe's remake. And I thought I was gonna take an LSD trip. Like, I took one. I kid you not. Took one shot of Patron. We laid down in the bed and was like, okay, here it goes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I expected to be like, what?

[A]

Yeah, brother.

[B]

I woke up the next morning, like, I don't think we did it right.

[A]

Yeah. Nah. Her Sister in law.

[B]

Her sister, she was like, one shot of Patron. What are y' all doing? Yeah, Kev, you 250?

[A]

That ain't nothing.

[B]

That's not.

[A]

That shit barely registered.

[B]

Absolutely. You're like. Y' all supposed to drink, dance, drink over some time. Listen, I don't know no stuff. But now I drink from time to time. I don't really get drunk like that. I just. I feel like the unk came in more than the, like, the fun. I think the age is what I missed when you had nothing to do. I got too many things to do the next day. I cannot afford.

[A]

You can't afford no hangover.

[B]

I can't afford no hangover, bro.

[A]

And also too. Kids don't stop asking for stuff. They don't care about your condition.

[B]

That's.

[A]

They don't care about what you're going through.

[B]

I got my son to school. I got a meeting. I don't even want a headache, much less. I gotta throw up.

[A]

I need to wake up like clear. I need to wake up as pristine as possible.

[B]

1000. And I don't want to pay for yesterday's fun today.

[A]

On God.

[B]

I need all that stuff to be over with when I go to sleep. So after. That's all right.

[A]

I did enough for me and you both. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

So I'm. I don't smoke. Yeah. I don't. I don't do. I don't drink like that really, ever. I mean, I drink socially, but not for real.

[A]

So where are we at with finding a beer that you actually like, you know? Cause this has been going on for the better part of a year.

[B]

It's almost two.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I have had one that was not bad, but not good. That was called an Abita, I believe. They trying to get me to get on shandies and Lindenfrager and all this stuff. This ain't real beer. Yeah, like, they. Don't it be other things. I said beer. Yeah, they like, you need to dry hard Mike's hard lemonade.

[A]

No, that ain't not beer. That's a seltzer.

[B]

That's white claw. I said beer.

[A]

You don't wanna get drunk like white woman drunk.

[B]

No, no, no. That's dangerous drunk.

[A]

That's when you start harassing.

[B]

Right. You know, white people drunk is dangerous for black people.

[A]

Yeah. I don't think we. Like, there was a whole movement, like, white boy wasted. And it's like, no, like, y' all don't understand. This is illegal.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know what I'm saying? First of all, it's not good for the body. Yes. Second of all, like, you ain't got that type of genetic history with alcohol for sure. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

My first roommate in college was a alcoholic. And I didn't know, like, this, man. They paid him in beer to, like, get drunk and take the test to lower the curve of his class. Yeah, just come take this test. We'll give you a case of beer. And he was like. Man, he was like, 5, 3, 1, 15, tiny dude.

[A]

A lot of overcompensation.

[B]

And he was trying to drink 21 shots. He had alcohol poisoning my first semester of college. I remember he had to take the ambulance a mile down the road. And that one alcohol experience ended up costing him, like, 30 bands. He had to drop out of college and everything.

[A]

Good.

[B]

And I was like.

[A]

I think that there has to be glaring examples for your parents that they failed for sure. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

He was frustrated.

[A]

Cause that's not a mistake.

[B]

No, no, no.

[A]

That's parental failure.

[B]

That's a problem.

[A]

Yeah, that's a problem. Yeah.

[B]

And I remember he. It was such a funny cultural thing. I was in college, ironing my clothes, and he was like, you iron? And I was like, you don't. Yeah, that was the difference between black and white people. Like, I can't be caught on campus wrinkling. And he would, like, ball up the same pair of jeans every day, Just take them off and throw them in a drawer, grab the same shirt. It was just.

[A]

I watch white people a lot, actually. I just like to catch them in the wild just for, like, on my own personal research. And what I've noticed is, like, they don't care about matching. Nah, man, nothing matters. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Put that Patagonia vest on.

[A]

We good, bro. You said that.

[B]

That's gonna pull it all together, man. Put the Patagonia. Y' all ain't gonna know what to do.

[A]

It don't matter what else I got on.

[B]

It don't matter, bro.

[A]

Broke Birkenstock. Yeah. I'm Patagonia.

[B]

I'm Patagonia on you. Broke, boy. Them things be like 200, though. Jackets.

[A]

Nah, they do be.

[B]

It's a problem. Yeah, yeah, but you're right. They just get dressed.

[A]

They just throw clothes on. They just wear clothes, you know what I'm saying? Like, we have outfits. Yes. Them niggas got clothes. They just put clothes on. You know what I'm saying? It could be yellow shoes with orange pants and a red shirt. They don't Give a fuck. It's just clothes.

[B]

There's nothing there.

[A]

And they gonna put a Patagon or a Carhartt.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And that's the whole look tied together and I'm gone. Yeah.

[B]

Not thinking nothing about it.

[A]

Yeah. It's like there's like a whole swag amongst a certain sector of. This is also from my research that there is like a bummy white boy aesthetic where they just like. Yep, I don't give a fuck. Like my shirt got a stain on it. My jeans are too big and I got on flip flops.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And I'm. This is it. This is how I came out the house today. Like, no, we actually going out. Like this is shit that. Where a nigga be like, you don't wanna go change for sure. Nah, this the.

[B]

This is it.

[A]

This is how I'm getting out. This is what I'm doing today.

[B]

Dead serious.

[A]

So church being like a big part of your upbringing stuff, but also being a military kid too.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

How did this, does this inform your comedy in any way? Was comedy like an escape from that? No, I know now it seems like it's more. I like how you've incorporated it as like a pastor. Yeah. It's just hilarious.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Because that is like for any kid that been in church, that's the show, that's the event. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

1,000%.

[A]

And then especially like them real fiery like yes, them pastors.

[B]

Woo.

[A]

Are you talking about a 12 year old that believe like I believe? Nah, he know God. I think I seen the lights flickering this motherfucker. You know what I'm saying? Jesus is here, ladies and gentlemen, you know. But how does when you younger, does comedy or just humor in general become like an escape from like a very rigid lifestyle? Cause military and Christianity, that's very rigid.

[B]

The thing is about it that's so interesting. You don't know what's normal or abnormal if it is everything around you. Correct. So going to church, you know, five, six days out the week is not unusual if everybody you know goes to church.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right. You don't know that's weird until you meet people who don't go to church that much.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or don't go aren't as strict as you. So I don't have the like comedy brought me out of a dark place. Like I did comedy because I saw that making people laugh got me things like first it just got me to be able to stay up later. Right. My grandma, we'd be in church all day and all my Material was what happened in church. After church, they'd be like, dude, Sister Daniels shout. There's one time Sister Daniels was shouting. She flipped over the offering table, bloomers everywhere. And, like, they had to bring out the. Everywhere.

[A]

They had to bring out the.

[B]

Bring out the sheep. My grandma and them thought that was the funniest thing ever. Nobody laughed in church. So after church, I'm like, this is how Daniels did this. They crying, laughing. So I'm looking like, oh. So they like, you know how black parents. We do your little dance? Like, that was my little Dougie.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right. So then we had talent shows in church, and I saw people doing that, and then I just saw the pastor. And, like, when he preaching like you talking about, he got all eyes on him. Everybody, musicians following him, people falling out at the words he's saying. So I'm like, oh, yeah. He. He. I want to be. I mean, I'm not taking it in like that, but I think subconsciously I'm attracted to, like, everybody's looking at him.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm not gonna be a preacher, but what could I do to command that type of situation, to command that? I want everybody to look at me, right? Military was like. My dad was really rigid. Listen, he was a military man, but he was a black man. It's so interesting. We talk about patriotism and stuff and how black people have a total different relationship with the military than white people. I remember when I went to. I was in ROTC in college, and these kids, these white boys, like, yes, I'm gonna serve my country. I'm gonna be proud. This is my duty. And my dad was like, I'm trying to get this GI Bill, and I'm trying to have a house. Like, I just real talk. There was no patriotism there.

[A]

It was like, yeah, it's a means to an end, bruh.

[B]

It's gonna get.

[A]

He was from Atlanta, and it's like, tough skin, too. So it's like, this shit ain't about nothing.

[B]

Literally. He's like, bro, you gonna give me a house? You gonna put my family up? You gonna give me food? Like, I'll get to get out of the hood, Basically. Same thing Melissa's dad did. Like, it was that story over and over. All my parents, friends, the man had that story. I'm trying to get out the projects. The military was the job that got you out, right? And they was trying to do their little 20, get a little government job, get two paychecks, go to the post office, something like that. So they needed humor you know what I'm saying? So I realized real quick that I could do it. And the first jokes I had was mocking pastors.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, I remember that whole thing he was doing, like, why they have an asthma attack? That was the first joke I did that killed. I was 16. I did at a. I did a stand up. Like, why the preachers have asthma attacks?

[A]

Like, you don't know.

[B]

Like, that's the first time I did it. I had no joke there. And then I was like, when you do that, the next iteration of that joke is like, you could preach the Lion King. You can live and it will. It will sound fire. Simba lost his father. You don't know. The Bible says, hakuna matata. It means, no worries, Fuller is in your name. It's our problem. For you, philosophy turned to Timon and say hakuna matata. And people fell out.

[A]

Yeah, because that's hilarious. Because it's true. It's true.

[B]

And it's just my life, church and the Lion King. This is what I know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This is bad for real.

[A]

I'm really giving them everything.

[B]

I'm giving him everything I got. Don't let me hit the Little Mermaid. Cause God, you got to watch that devil. He wants to take your voice. You want to pray. He's taking from you. Ursula is in the street. You want that, man? What does it cost you?

[A]

I'm killing. Yeah.

[B]

This is my favorite movie, though.

[A]

I ain't gonna hold you amongst the Christians. That's a flatliner. Like. Yeah.

[B]

And fire. But that's literally all I know is my life. So my comedy has always been a reflection of my life.

[A]

Right.

[B]

When I have kids now I have a whole new wealth of material. Right. And I'm just. That's also, as a comedian, that allows you to be less likely to steal somebody's joke. Because I'm talking about what you're talking about. My actual son. Like, we both have sons, but we should be having different experiences with our children and raising our children based on our life experience. So sometimes, obviously, comedians veer into things, especially you talking about current events and all that stuff. There's a lot of cross stuff. But I'm talking about my son, my wife. From my point of view, it's less likely you'd be like, you stole that joke. Like Brian never. And I also don't really see a lot of comics when I first started. Now I've seen Hella because of keep your distance. But I don't. I can always have my point of view. I remember There was a minute there where I was like, I'm not doing no church jokes. Cause comedians were like, this nigga Kev only funny. Cause it's church stuff. Kev only working in the church. And I took that as like, oh.

[A]

Y' all trying me. Y' all trying to make funny for real, right?

[B]

And I. You know what I'm saying? I took offense to that. Took that personally. As Jordan said, I took that personally. So then I tried to take it out my bag. And now, you know what I'm saying? I'm cool, but I'm running the mill. Like, I'm doing comedy from anger. Like, I'm a prove to these niggas that aren't even there. Like, this nigga not at the show. You trying to prove to something. This nigga's at home. You're like, yeah, nigga, where you at now?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Told y' all he wasn't funny, right? So I was like, bro, this is dumb. Let me do what makes me me. And that made me unique. And that's also my bag, you know? And I still. This last tour, I did that joke that I just told you, but I did it with Toy Story because it was funny and easy. You know what I'm saying? So I think for me, it's just always been. It's the same way I approach videos. That's why it was very important for me early to not do only church jokes. Because I was like, y' all not gonna put me in a box as a church comedian. Cause for all intents and purposes, hardly anything's changed about the black church from when I was five, right? Like, hardly. I'm not gonna do them same jokes for literally 30 years. Like, yeah, bruh, it's over with.

[A]

Like, yeah, that's really phoning it in too. Yeah.

[B]

Like, I need to challenge myself.

[A]

Yeah. Cause it's. It's. And at some point, as you master the craft of comedy, that is just like, it's low hanging fruit. Yeah. And it's gonna stunt your growth, too. Cause 1,000%. Yeah.

[B]

I'm booked. Yeah.

[A]

But it's like, now it's just routine.

[B]

I was dying inside. Like, before my first tour, I was doing the same set every time for years. And I was like, bro, I can't do these jokes. Even if you're laughing, there's no creative. Like, part of the joy for me is the hard part. Like, stand up's one of the few disciplines that you can't practice alone.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Like, it don't matter how funny you are in Front of that mirror. You gotta test that out on people. Like, even strippers can twerk alone.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You can be like, okay, that really moving back.

[A]

Yeah. But telling a joke to yourself is.

[B]

Everything I say is funny to me. Right. You gotta really try it out on that person, and they looking at you dead in your eyes and like. Nah.

[A]

That does make sense, though, to me, as far as, like, you wanting to challenge yourself. Just understanding. I've been hip and from all intents to purpose, a fan of you since All Death.

[B]

Oh. Yeah.

[A]

So I was like. I used. I thought for years, like, roast Me was the most brilliant, funny. Roast Me in great taste, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. It's just like. I was like, this shit is brilliant. Because you would think after two seasons of y' all being around each other, man, it wouldn't be no new jokes. And y' all just found a way each season, like. Like, we talking about the same people, same niggas, with certain. Like, you got a nigga like Boo Capone, you don't know what's gonna come out his mouth. No. You know what I'm saying? But I think to watch the evolution of everybody at all, like, it's all kind of ventured into different ways. David is doing the Austin thing. Patrick is. Everybody's kind of. I like to see how everybody has evolved. But I would say for you, even throughout that evolvement, you've always kept them close. Yeah. And them. Like, even during COVID you did the Keep youp Distance, which kind of put Ronnie back on my radar, too. Yeah. And a lot of comedians that I used to see brought you.

[B]

Ronnie was, this is so funny. I tell him this every time, and I don't care. He was my unc for comedy. That fat nigga at that door was revolutionary. And I didn't know how old Ronny was, but I was working at a bank. I'm like, he not that much older than me.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Like, you can tell them, oh, geez, I remember you from Comic View, but Ronnie had a baby face at that time.

[A]

And I was like, this nigga?

[B]

Is that. Like, that was. He was on par with anybody else at that time. So when I connected back with him, I'm like, and this nigga's funnier now than he was even then.

[A]

He's hilarious.

[B]

Too easy for him. Like, too easy. Right? So it's like the all deaf thing, you know? I remember one of the people who worked there was like, we gotta get more people that are funnier and younger. I said, bro, let me tell you what these Are some of the funniest n working period, like, at this thing. First of all, it's a lot harder than it looks like. Roast me for me. I hate roast me. These niggas are really creative.

[A]

Well, also, too. You didn't really get into your swing of things till, like, season three.

[B]

Nah, I'm not good at Roast me.

[A]

The first season. They used to be. You was trying. They was like, shut up, bruh.

[B]

I'm not good. I'm just mean.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, I. Yeah, that's what it was.

[A]

You would say spiteful shit, bruh.

[B]

Craig, Boo, B. Lou. They are actually really creative.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, when Craig told Tony Baker, dogs.

[A]

Don'T trust dogs don't trust Tony.

[B]

That is actually creative. Dogs walk backwards when they see you. That's creative.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Me telling Jay Wills, these shoes ain't made for walking. That ain't no joke. That's actually made. That nigga just can't.

[A]

He can't walk wheelchair bound. Yeah, that's not.

[B]

There's no joke there.

[A]

Sometimes I was like, how long can this last? They gonna ruin my favorite show. Cause they brought in this man that's wheelchair bound, and they told the nigga, you gotta lay on your battery to change your engine to change your oil. He said, you gotta lay on your battery to change your oil. I was like, nah, this is evil.

[B]

This. You can't do this. There's no joke there.

[A]

There's no joke. It's just mean.

[B]

It's just mean. But that was all I had. Like, I'm not built.

[A]

Yeah. Because the thing is, is, like, they would be firing your ass up. Of course. The head jokes, too.

[B]

Yeah, for sure.

[A]

And then that one season where it was just, like, they would just keep building on a certain joke, like you ahead of the game, and then it would just turn into 30 minutes of.

[B]

It'S your worst nightmare. And I grew up hearing, like, well, real quick, on Jay Wills. Rest in peace, Jay Wills. He went on to be with. He rolled on to be with him. He rolled on. But his mom. Come on, man.

[A]

He got his legs in glory, man.

[B]

But his mom was really grateful. Cause she was like, y' all treated him like anybody else, which is all he ever wanted. You know what I'm saying? We donated to his funeral. Like, that was our nigga for real.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I had thought I heard every head joke. I haven't had a big head my whole life.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

These niggas. Nate Jackson said, no fishing.

[A]

So funny, bro.

[B]

You walk up to a lake and headbutt it, and the fish float to the top. Imagine my surprise when I was like.

[A]

Oh, there are new head jokes. Actually, he just opened up a Pandora's box of new jokes.

[B]

Craig told me that. Nigga Craig said, they building your halo in heaven now. Come on. What am I supposed to do with that?

[A]

No, like, I was watching it. I got, like, my. My TikTok algorithm has, like, Best of Boo Capone in it. Just because it's like, he might say 20 jokes. Yeah. And 18 of them might flop. But them two that hit, really hit. He talking nigga CP like a thawed out catfish. Nigga, that shit killed me. And then, you know, they always talk about, what's your boy from Houston?

[B]

Billy.

[A]

Billy. They always joking about Billy. Like, undercover. He gonna tell Billy, you know how many veins in a dick, Nigga, I'm telling you that. It's four in the morning. My daughter Emory in the bed with me. She like. Cause I'm crying. Like, I can't even. You know how you scroll it late at night and you gotta keep them laughs internal? I was cooked. I was done. I was like, bruh, this is insane to say to another N. Oh, man. And also, too, it's like, all y' all gotta. Like, y' all are some of the toughest people on the planet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's a couple of them jokes that landed, I would have been ready to fight niggas.

[B]

Well, here's the thing that one of the comedians taught me this, and it was the best advice I ever heard. He said, the best thing you can do is learn how to take a joke. Because if you can take a joke, people associate you with a funny moment, whether you said it or was said about you. Cause really, I didn't get that many great jokes off on Roast Me. Compared to the niggas who are really good. I got a few. And I mean, like, literally a few.

[A]

Yeah, you had some.

[B]

I was the subject of way more.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But people are trying to see, like, this nigga gonna be taking it for real. Like, I'm laughing. It is funny. It hurt, though. I'm like, God, duh. That N told me they said, this nigga can't drink root beer and beat his wife. Like, that's on my masculinity. But I'm like, this is a thing that I didn't grow up having, like, this Kevin's Week jokes. Why is this a thing that people are connecting on?

[A]

No, no. Like, I think Craig is, like, one of the most creatively funny. Like, I don't easily. Cause it's like, I don't even understand where you going in your mind to think about that 1000%. He told the N. Doughboy. He said, if a shark ate you, it have high blood pressure. What the fuck? What you own like, bruh. What are you over there thinking about, bruh?

[B]

That's when you just admire God.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Cause like, your mind is built different.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Cause it goes in there now. Great taste. I got way more off.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

On great taste. And the funny thing is, like.

[A]

Cause it's food based.

[B]

It's food. See how you doing.

[A]

I see where you're going with it. It's me too, myself, where you going?

[B]

You open up a different door. But we also, like, the reason that we're. We also work together all the time. Our office was like. We just. We would literally get up from our desk. Like, it was like, me, Pat, Doughboy, Meg, Tahir, Trevor. Trevor's a white dude. Trevor Wallace.

[A]

Trevor Wallace, yeah.

[B]

He was my intern. He's.

[A]

Yeah, he doing comedy. Larry, for real now.

[B]

This was John Leggetto Jenkins. This is our desk. We would get up from there, walk to the upstairs, go shoot that, then come back down and eat lunch. Like, we realized in the moment, this is not for real.

[A]

It's like a real job.

[B]

This can't be nigga. We know this is gonna be over, so let's have fun while it laughs. Cause we saying nigga at work, we was. It was all black. We making white people uncomfortable saying nigga in work meetings. Like, nigga, nah, we ain't finna be doing that. And then look at the white person. They like, yeah. It felt so powerful. Say nigga in corporate emails.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Can you. Let's not bleep nigga in this one. Let's leave it. Matter of fact, turn it up. Telling a white person, an editor, leave that nigga. Leave that nigga alone. Right? Like, it was crazy. Like, I wish there was a documentary of the actual time we was working there. But, like, I realized in that moment, these are some of the most creative people ever. That's how I started working with Tony Baker, B, Lou Angel. A lot of these people I still work with today. Like, I'm realizing they're all super talented. And that's like just like a. That was like college. I worked there for like four years, four or five years. That was like digital media college. I learned the game, how to make the content and all that type of stuff, but also made connections with people. Like, I'm so much of who I am from that Time, like, that was an unusual experience. And the crazy thing is so many people were watching that, like, and they still watch it. Some people still watch great TV today.

[A]

It's one of the more, like, prevalent pop cultural things that, like, stuck out to me, because when you. Like, this is when I'm like, I don't have it figured out. I don't know what I'm. All I know is, like, I'm going to work and I'm providing, and, like, when I get off, I need some entertainment. And that's what, like, it was. And it was like, the fact that y' all had all these different shows.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Great taste being great taste and worst taste. And then Roast Me, it was just like, bruh, this is unmatched. Like, you really can't do. And it's like, I'm waiting. Even when y' all went, there was a moment where it went to, like, caffeine. I was like, I don't give a fuck. I'll pay for it. Because it's that good.

[B]

And there's still not a show really, like, Roast Meat or Great Taste that ever came out.

[A]

It can't be replicated either.

[B]

No, like, that's. I remember we was trying so hard to be Buzzfeed Black Buzzfeed at that time, because Buzzfeed was killing, and they were dominating. And it wasn't until we were like, nigga, we need to do what they can't do. Buzzfeed cannot be roast meat. Like, that is quintessentially Jonesing the Dozen is quintessentially a black culture thing.

[A]

Yeah, absolutely.

[B]

They can't do with all the money in the world. They could never do that. And I think, you know, the viewer could see we were friends for real. And it's what you love about podcasts. Like, that feels like, that's my homie. That feels like the lunch la. Roast Me was the lunch table for all of us in school.

[A]

Right.

[B]

We all was roasting, having a good time or it's the locker room. Like, that's a quintessentially black thing. And to be able to capture that and the fact that people still watch, I get recognized from Roast Me. I haven't been on Roast Me in, like, six years.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, first season. Yeah. And people watch them like, old episodes of Offense.

[A]

You can't replicate it because it was the first time that it was done exactly how it's done.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They had, like, your mama and stuff.

[B]

Like that, but it's, like, overly produced. What the fuck is Wilmer and Tahir was on that.

[A]

What is Wilmer Valorama? What he doing?

[B]

Nigga, what are you doing?

[A]

Yeah, how they get this? Your mama like, bro, shut the fuck up before we beat you up. Your mama, nigga, to madre, nigga. Fuck you talking about? But I had a homegirl that I went to high school with that was on there.

[B]

On your mama?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In the band.

[A]

Yeah. Big girl Q. That was her name, Q, right? Funniest motherfucker. But it's like, the type of roasting that she doing, it just don't work on her. No, because, like, we don't really tell your mama jokes. No, it just. Your mama just might get involved in.

[B]

This 1,000%, you know what I'm saying? It's also you, like, roast me is.

[A]

About the person I'm about to be. It's about you. Yeah, like. Like, it's some people that used to come on there, like, Brody. I was just like, brody. Damn, bro. Yeah, they. I mean, God damn.

[B]

Brody, my nigga.

[A]

Yeah, but it's just like. It's like some people, they just have such glaring things that everybody gonna talk about. Like, to hear they said they shot.

[B]

Brody with an acne machine gun.

[A]

Why would you tell that man that?

[B]

He had a terrible breakout at the time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And n. That's the same day they hit me with all the head chokes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It was like, literally your worst nightmare. Like, everybody laughing at him. And then they like. And you like, no, no, him.

[A]

It was so funny because season two. Season two was Craig literally just tearing everyone a new one. Then season three was CP Just like, where the fuck did he come from?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And then season four was clearly like, boo.

[B]

And that's my thing. Like, I be trying to tell people, these are the best niggas that do this.

[A]

They are. Because even the people y' all would bring on from the Internet, outside of, like, Dontario.

[B]

Dontario's the one.

[A]

He's the only that could hang with y'. All. Everybody else was like, damn.

[B]

And you funny to your niggas.

[A]

You funny to your niggas. But when you get in this room.

[B]

And that's the thing, bro. Like, detention. Like, having that joke bomb in front of everybody.

[A]

Cap in his mouth, nigga. CP told him I could put three quarters of two dimes right through. Put 95 cent right in your fucking mouth. And it's like. And, bruh, you could tell, like, that really struck a nerve in him where he was like, if anybody really been roasting it in life, like, when it's coming down. You can't think of a joke?

[B]

No, no.

[A]

You getting hot.

[B]

You embarrassed.

[A]

You embarrassed. And it feel a little evil. Like, why are y' all ganging up on me? Like, first of all, now I wanna fight. So you can see, bruh, like, shutting down in real time. Like, he could not. He was like, you.

[B]

And now they was on that. Yeah, now they on that. You have a speech impediment.

[A]

Yeah, bruh. And they don't stop. And then it's like. It's the best because they feed off of each other.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So, yeah, bruh. I think all death is like, it can't be recreated.

[B]

It can't be doing. No. It has its moment in. Which is weird to say about something you are a part of.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because it feels like I'm bragging, but outside of myself, it has its place in the black media landscape.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

For a moment in time, there was nothing blacker and more digital than Roast Meat.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

You can never take that away from people.

[A]

And it created a lot of careers, too. Absolutely.

[B]

They still doing stuff based off that. And I'm very proud to be a part of that. I'm proud to be in those episodes, you know what I'm saying? Even though I was the subject of the stuff, that junk was gold, like, and that was my job.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was at work being harassed at work. I had to go into my family after that. And this is nigga. I got roasted before we created Roast Meat, nigga. I tried to hit them with some. I had some jeans kind of like Ferg has on. And I had a bone vest. I hit him with a vest. Yeah, bruh. A vest at all. Deaf, bro. I sat down. White girl started off. This one of the executive's assistant. Kev, what do you have on? Oh, you know what I'm saying? Thought it was a compliment at first. Yeah, Yeah. I hit him with the vest. It was like, tahir, Pat, Trev, Teddy. These niggas roasted me for 45 minutes at my job at like 2 o'. Clock. I don't get off till 6, 6:37.

[A]

You gotta live with that. And you can't change, bruh.

[B]

Frying me up. I'm their boss. Like, I'm literally. They report to me. These are my. These are my. Not. What's the term? Subordinates. Subordinates. They got me for time off. You can't roast your boss. But at all. Death, like, them niggas would kill me. I went home and threw the whole outfit in the trash in the dumpster. Came in my. I had a dumpster outside my detached garage. And then you had to go through. The trash is here. And then you walk to the front door. I came in the house with my drawers on and my shoes in my hand.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

My wife was like, what happened? I was like, they broke.

[A]

Bad day at work.

[B]

I can never take this out again. It's in the dumpster. Literally. Never wore a vest.

[A]

There's nothing worse than when you think you really hit.

[B]

And I thought I was gonna get compliment. I did this, bruh. I hit it with a bone vest.

[A]

Take that shit off.

[B]

Niggas fried me, man.

[A]

I came into. I went to a party, and they was like. It was like a game night. Yeah. And I was being in a very experimental phase. Okay.

[B]

Of your clothes.

[A]

Yeah. And I got this shirt from H and M, and it had, like, a bunch of different colored things, like squigglies. I don't know how to describe the shirt. I just thought, like, I could put some. I had, like, some red Chucks and some cargos. I was like, oh, I'm gonna pull that off. Like, the little splash of red with the cargos. Red Chucks. And we in there and we chilling. And I'm known as, like, a roaster, too, so people really don't joke with me like that. Cause it's like, he gonna take it to the next level. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I just remember shorty was like, why you got bacteria on your shirt? And that, my nigga. When I. She said, she said. And then the nigga was like, yeah, you do look like you got on a petri dish right now. And that shit started an hour of everybody in the party roasting the shit out of me.

[B]

Oh, so.

[A]

And when I tell you I got to the point I couldn't take no more. I was like, I beat everybody ass in here. Real shit. Like, now what? Now it's funny. Niggas don't wanna fight, though.

[B]

You know what I'm saying? That's when you won. Nah, if you get a nigga to that point, you. Nah, nah.

[A]

They like, bruh, they crucified me in that bitch. All I had left was violence. Like, nah, I something.

[B]

But I beat the fuck out of.

[A]

Somebody in here, and that's the real joke. Oh, we ain't laughing no more. Oh, I'm ruining the fun now.

[B]

Oh, my God, bruh.

[A]

I wish my homeboy Shadarrett was here to testify for this, bro. I really was like, did that end it? Yes.

[B]

Because now it ain't funny no more, niggas.

[A]

Was like, all right. But niggas also like, he dead ass. Like, he is ready to fight. Cause the whole time they roasting me. I'm drinking. Yeah. And I'm taking shots straight. Like, Neverin' heard that one before. Heard that probably like 45 minutes into it was just like. It was like the last joke where it was just like. I thought it was over and somebody brought it back, and I was like, I beat your motherfucking ass, nigga. What's up? Like, don't nobody want to fight. Everything for everybody got jokes.

[B]

Who got hands? More Atlanta accent, too. You gotta turn the accent up a little bit, bruh.

[A]

That shit.

[B]

That's great.

[A]

Same shit, though.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And when we went home. Toss that bitch out.

[B]

I have to.

[A]

You gotta get rid of that shirt.

[B]

You can't let that happen again.

[A]

No, on, God. I'd never be able to look at the shirt the same myself. Like. And then I'm looking at his shirt, I'm like, damn, Shit do look like Back to me. Bill Nye the Science Guy over there. They backed that out on me. I already know. I knew it was coming.

[B]

That's funny.

[A]

Yeah, that shit. I was like. I was so angry.

[B]

That's how it was to be at work there.

[A]

Yeah. And that.

[B]

No cameras.

[A]

Yeah, no cameras. This is your life.

[B]

This just your life in the.

[A]

And so now you gotta be, like, extra vigilant about what you wear.

[B]

1,000%. That's why I started getting off whites like we was.

[A]

Yeah, you had to start getting fresh on.

[B]

Yeah, like, nigga, this ain't going for nothing. I remember my homeboy one of these off whites, and I just did a show. I had a little bit of red, found out about Goat, or you could buy the resale stuff, and he wanted them, and he was like, I'm gonna have to put some. I might have to. You know, this before Klarner, but, like, you could do payment plans on Goat. So he come in. I got my feet on his desk with the off whites. I'm like, aw, nigga, you ain't. Oh, you gotta make your payments first. Aw, that's crazy. Anyway, this what it looks like whenever you finish. He just came to work. Niggas didn't sign up for that. Like, what you like. That's how I was. That's your broke ass every single day.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, Pat to hear Meg. Meg wasn't even like that. Yeah, at first.

[A]

But you gotta adapt, bro.

[B]

Like, nigga, she's one of the funniest people now. Meg Was a Still is a legitimate producer. Like, the skill. This nigga was never part of content. Like, she's like, I'm a host. I hold my hands like this.

[A]

Real talk.

[B]

This nigga told me the last time we shot Worst Tay's. She said, nigga, you look like your walk away air smell like baloney. Excuse me.

[A]

Hey, you've been hanging around us too long.

[B]

Wait, what?

[A]

Yeah. Cause now we walk away air is crazy.

[B]

What's got in.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And now the comments for, like, the next six weeks. And that walk away air joke. Nigga, this is a month and a half ago now. She wasn't even built like that. She built like that now. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

But it'll make you like that, too. It reminded me of what they would talk about the Comedy Store in New York, like, when Patrice o' Neal and Bill Burton was there.

[B]

And it's like, iron sharpens iron.

[A]

That type of shit. It's just like, man, you better come with it or quit.

[B]

Or quit. What you gonna do? Or what you gonna do? I need.

[A]

Cause actually, your employer is encouraging this shit 1000%.

[B]

Our HR department non existent. What you going do? What is she doing? Like, this is my job. I'm roasting you as part of the content.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You can't tell on me. That's my job. Literally, my job.

[A]

You signed up for.

[B]

And booing them don't work for us. We hired them to make fun of us at our job, and they left. They got a little paycheck and left and came back. Had harassed us at our job. That was our idea. Yeah, but it's great, though.

[A]

How does it feel now? Like, not only where you've gone in your career, but also, like, knowing where you started, like, with doing and producing and writing for your kids, and now they like, one of them grown men for real. And to the point where it's like, the dynamic even in the family changes. So even as your career evolves, everything is evolving and changing to the point like, you probably couldn't pay your son to do something for him.

[B]

Bro. It's crazy because I started off right. This is how crazy life is, how crazy God is, and how crazy time works. I start off doing Playmakers. We're going crazy, right? I'm doing Kev on stage, which is not going crazy, but it's important to me that I have my own thing, and I'm not just gonna be doing church stuff. So I'm. I was. I'm editing a video for the Playmakers. I post that it gets 700,000 views. I make a video for myself. I post that. It gets seven views. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, right? But I'm like, oh, nigga, but it's me, right? I put my. My son. My oldest son is sitting with me editing. He's like, daddy, what are you doing? I'm editing videos. Oh, okay. He would just sit and watch me, daddy, I want to make videos one day. I'm like, all right, bro. Like, you know what I'm saying going on? And then he kept doing it. Kept doing it. So one day after his basketball game, I'm like, okay, get this idea from Spoken Reasons at the time, was doing short. Like, he was doing jump cuts. He was the only person in the black community who was really doing it. Ray William Johnson was a white dude. Maybe he's Indian. He was doing it too. But he had, like, all these assets. Spoken Reason was just talking directly to the camera. So I'm like, I'm gonna write you some little jokes based on basically my first standup set when I was 16. Repeat after me. Do it like I do it. I'm gonna cut the middle out. I put up growing up black viral while he's on the COVID of Yahoo. When that used to mean something. When your work computer used to open up, Yahoo is like him. So we get hip to awesomeness. Like, we want y' all to make videos for us. They giving us $500 for me to write, direct, edit, produce a video. And I'm working at Boeing, so I'm making two bands extra. I'm feeling like that nigga like, that might as well be selling dope. Like, nigga, $2,000 more.

[A]

Yeah, like, and what year this is in?

[B]

2012?

[A]

2013. Oh, yeah, nigga. Extra. Two bands in 2012amonth. Yeah.

[B]

Kia Telluride broke boy. Nigga, my kid's in private school.

[A]

Yeah, that's eight kids in his.

[B]

Nigga, what y' all talking about? Public school? This is crazy.

[A]

So what's a book bag?

[B]

Yeah, this nigga's got an iPad, no homework. Teacher's praying for him. He got a Lutheran. He going to Lutheran school. Oh, shit. So then we moved to LA to make it. Had to put him back in regular school. We ain't had a grad like that. This Nigga went from eight kids to 35. He said the first day of school, a kid. He's six. He said a kid grabbed another kid like this and threw him against the locker. He was like, can we go to the type of school we used to.

[A]

Go to yeah, Real Talk, and we.

[B]

Like, we don't have no jobs. And he go, tell my wife there's a Chuck E. Cheese that we passed.

[A]

Do you think you could work there.

[B]

So that I could go to that different type of school?

[A]

This ain't how that work.

[B]

Nah, bro.

[A]

You gotta get enough to get these videos off.

[B]

Yes. So at that time, I'm behind the scenes writing, directing, editing for them. And it was crazy. Cause, excuse me, those videos ended up becoming tv. Like, Nickelodeon bought a show of that. So now I'm writing sketches that are directly going to be on Nickelodeon. For the dude who created all that, like, that's. This is a digital version of all that, basically. So I'd go from that to all deaf. And all this time I'm behind the scenes knowing I want to be in front of the camera. But if I try and do that, they're going to be like, nah, like, we didn't pay you for that. So I had to, like, really play my role. My role was to write, direct, edit, produce for my kids and at All Def. This is before Roast Me years. This is when we were heavy in the influencer. You know, we were hiring influencers and paying them to do all our stuff. And I really had to, like, bite my tongue, right? Cause I remember, bro, when vine was popping, I remember I was making 70 grand a year at all def. And that was like, hella bread. Still is a good amount of Money today. Now LA's good job. It's a great job, bro. We paid this viner $35,000 to promote a movie. She signed the deal before Docusign came in, signed the paperwork, came downstairs, pulled out her phone. Vine was 6.5 seconds. She's like, yo, what up? My name is this, this, this. This movie comes out this Friday. Go check it out. Post. Hey, when are y' all gonna be able to send that? And I'm signing that check.

[A]

That's half your salary for the year.

[B]

That she made in literally no hyperbole. Six seconds. She posted it in the office. Her homegirl had 20 bands, same movie. She's like, oh, let me just do mine. I didn't know it could be that easy. Oh, what up, y'? All? My name is X, Y and Z. This movie, y' all gotta check it out. Comes in theaters this Friday. Four of them. 35, 20, 15, 10. They had different followers. And that was just one day. So all them people in a row made more than I made that year in what took less than five minutes to Shoot edit posts. And that was a small person. We pay people 80 grand, 160 grand. I remember there's somebody. We. We were. We wanted to offer $800,000 on behalf of a brand to make a show that would take three days to shoot. He wouldn't even come in the office. He was like, 800,000, bro. It's nothing less than a million. Y' all let me know if you ever get to a million. And I'm like.

[A]

800,000 is too close to a million not to take for me.

[B]

I'm like, to take the meeting. He's not taking the meeting unless the starting offer is a million dollars and I'm driving home with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on my breath. Well, damn, $800,000. And the reason that's his number is because I'm getting it.

[A]

If you would have added Joe's salary to the 800,000, it's still too little. The meeting, he was still 130 off like crazy.

[B]

I'm not taking the meeting unless y' all talking about him. And that's because they was giving it to him. So imagine how hard it is for us. I'm the pass through. You know, the movie companies want this movie, whatever the brand is, I'm passing this money through them. But I gotta. I'm signing these deals, negotiating these, and I'm taking home a couple thousand dollars a week. I'm in traffic an hour and a half each way, and this person comes from. They live in downtown la. They live in Mid City. They living off Hollywood and Vine. This is Logan Paul. Logan Paul's manager was my son's manager. Same person that discovered my son still manages Logan Paul today.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

Jeff Levin is his manager. Today. He discovered my son. They touching millions of dollars then. Then 2013. And that's. This is the black people, the awesomest TV people, them white kids. $300,000 per brand deal. Three or four or five a week.

[A]

Geez.

[B]

And I didn't. I made $70,000 for three out of the four years. I got a $30,000 raise for like the last two months before I got laid off. I was about to get laid off.

[A]

You was like, Damn, I'm making 100,000 a year, bro. Nope.

[B]

And it's over now.

[A]

An extra 15,000amonth. Yes. Nigga got your ass over.

[B]

I would have had to work for eight years.

[A]

So what if they gave you the raise just to lay you off?

[B]

They basically did.

[A]

Cause it's like, well, we gotta do budget cuts.

[B]

Basically.

[A]

That is nasty. How they get down, though.

[B]

It don't matter anyways.

[A]

Yeah, it don't matter. We finna get rid of.

[B]

That's the difference between, we're not even gonna pay you out a hundred. We gonna give you a raise from August through October and it's over with.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So that was, like, both incredibly inspiring, but also, like, super humbling because you. You know, as a creator myself, I'm not thinking necessarily these people are funnier or more talented than me, but they have popped.

[A]

They. They figured something out.

[B]

They figured something out that I couldn't figure vine out.

[A]

And it's also like, damn, I'm a man too, bruh. You know what I'm saying? And these are boys.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Running through money. Like, more money than.

[B]

Bro. They having houses in the hills. I remember bro. These, bruh. Bruh.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There was people paying. They having houses in the hills. Hollywood Hills. $20,000 a month in rent in 2012. 30,000. They living in the same neighborhood as Neo. Yeah.

[A]

Like, people that have, like, literally grinded and, like, starved the best of the best of the best. And these niggas just like, hey, guys, check this movie out.

[B]

Crazy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Car. They getting brand deal to talk about the car. Keep the car. Like, that's. And I'm not getting none of that. And I'm just going video.

[A]

Spectrum.

[B]

Spectrum now, now. Spectrum. Now.

[A]

Spectrum. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

[B]

Spectrum. Right now. Upload speeds, 44 megabits per second.

[A]

Come holler at your boy.

[B]

Bundle up. Internet, TV and cable. Spectrum. I got my whole. Cause I'm still trying to get what they been having.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

But the other part is. And this is why I'm grateful to God. Like, everybody who had. That didn't last. And they did not handle that went away fast.

[A]

And they were so young that you just think. You do think that it's gonna last forever.

[B]

And that's why I'm grateful. Because while I was making 70k a year, I was like, I'm watching people get 30 grand in six seconds. Now, they ain't popped off in three or four years. And this is not to admonish them.

[A]

Nah.

[B]

But this is a cautionary tale. Like, niggas is spinning. Like, it's always gonna be like that. I remember YouTube made a decision like that. No more. No more titties and thumbnails. No more fake pranks. Was going from making 50, 60, 80, 120 grand on YouTube a month. And I'm. We. We passing their money through to twelve hundred dollars to two hundred Dollars in from. From June to August.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

But that 40 bands in the Hollywood Hills is still $40,000.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now you're not making 120 and you've made that for years.

[A]

Yeah. I think anytime you make money digitally, you got to be real careful about.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

How that. Because that's not contractual.

[B]

No YouTube can decide on a whim. We no LONGER do that. TikTok decide. TikTok was gone. That's your life. So that's where poverty mindset, Having a wife and kids. My dad always taught me, live well, well, well beneath your means. Especially if you're in entertainment. Because if it's gonna be gone, it's gonna be gone quick. And you can't necessarily recreate that type of money.

[A]

No.

[B]

So before we moved, me and Melissa saved years of salary so that if it all goes bad for a year or two, we good. I'm still good now. I might need a move.

[A]

I'm on my squirrel in a way now because it's like I'm making more money than I ever made. But I also understand the fragility of it. Yes. And even though I have like so much faith and honestly, the writing's on the wall. More is to come.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You still understand this entertainment and I've still seen it happen where, you know, it's just like anything else too. Like let's say you NBA contract. Or let's just say you got a brand deal. Yes. And that brand deal is life changing money. And then you tear your ACL and you're done. You're done.

[B]

Same thing as the Pandemic.

[A]

I don't come from. I've gotten rid of my lack mentality.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. But I am very still cautioned and realistic about this thing is not guaranteed or permanent. And you have to create permanent situations.

[B]

Bingo.

[A]

By investing your money.

[B]

Investing your money, living below your means. Below your means. Nest egg. Don't spend like it's going to be forever. And I'm not. I agree with you. I'm not living my life like it's going to be gone. Like I still enjoy my life.

[A]

I'm still going to enjoy it. But.

[B]

But I put it away before, before I started doing that stuff. And I've got multiple streams of income. That's why on tour I got the podcast, I got the book, I got Spectrum. Any of those things can go away. Spectrum contract can be gone.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Bet money been saved.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

You know what I'm saying? Pandemic. I couldn't go on tour. That was my number One income. Bet I'll do. Keep your distance. Do that until I can tour again. Now they go like this as opposed to like this. To nothing and nothing. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

That's what I would.

[A]

That's why I'm ebb and flow, man. Keep it. I, I, I wanted. Huh? Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Surfed away.

[A]

Yeah, that's something. My perspective on things changed when I hooked up with this creative just randomly. Cause I was doing music and he wanted to do a video. Cause he had came across like a tape and he shot the video from me. He was like, I really didn't even want to shoot the video for you. I really just brought you over here to, like, change your mindset around money.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

And I was like, how the fuck, you know my mindset around money? Fucked up. He was like, because you got all this talent and nothing to show for it.

[B]

Dang.

[A]

And I was like, tell me more.

[B]

Since you opened me up, you might as well fill me with the knowledge.

[A]

Yeah. So, but the thing is, like, he did start, it did start feeling a little like, pyramid scheming. Cause he was like, you know, currency, it's a current, it's an energy.

[B]

I'm gone.

[A]

But what he was saying is, like, if you think about it like something that flows, then when you spend it, you won't miss it when it come in. You won't be banking on it. You just understand. You create a flow of money. And I was like, okay, I could take that, I could take that and run.

[B]

Once it sound too smart, I'd be like, all right.

[A]

I think what it is is, like, when niggas start getting into they entendre bag, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? That's a little spooky. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Feels like 4x. You trying to set me up with the vector marketing.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Like, it sounds too good to be true.

[A]

I'm going to get a bunch of weight. What's the absolute, like, worst, like, job? Because one thing I do, I was inspired by you. Because I know that you started like a real 9 to 5 into your creative passion and you just. One thing that I know I could have a testament to is that I was never gonna give up. Like, I was gonna figure it out. So I was, you know, it started out early. I was selling drugs and rapping. And I thought, okay, I've seen this.

[B]

Happen for people, right?

[A]

At the very least, they rap about it. Yes, I'mma do This shit. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

And then.

[A]

But I'm a rap too. Yeah, yeah. That ain't how that work, actually. When you are breaking the law all the time, you're gonna go to jail. You know what I'm saying? It's just kind of a byproduct of those actions. But then it was like, okay, well, I'm gonna sell shirts. And I had created a clothing line and did that. Then it was like, okay, I paint too, so I'm gonna create art and I'm gonna sell art. And it was like, I'm gonna find a way creatively out of this 9 to 5 thing. But how was it for you? Like, what's the absolute worst job you had till, like, now?

[B]

I'm gonna tell you. And it's. And this is why people be like, how do you work this hard? Like, brother, you don't understand. I work for the city of Tacoma Lawn care Department, bruh. And the worst day was Wednesday. On Wednesday, we would have to go to the courthouse. And my job as the new person was I'd have to pick up cigarette butts with the little claw thing individually. Do you know how much people smoke when they got court? A lot, Nigga, there. Infinite amount of cigarette butts.

[A]

Infinite cigarette butts.

[B]

Well, I mean, people who don't smoke smoke when they have court. And I'd be out there under the blazing sun, picking cigarette butts up one by one. I'd spend a whole afternoon. We had to wear long sleeves because you would get sunburnt, bro. Cutting grass in the hot summer, bruh. Just pain. Then I had to work. I worked for. At the Puyallup Fair grilling onions all day. Yeah, I worked at a burger place that sold. Their thing was, we sold the grilled onion burger. A nigga just stands there and grills onions.

[A]

Yeah. And that nigga was you.

[B]

I take a bucket of industrial sized onions, clean a grill off, dump a bucket of onions and butter, cook that all down, place it in a holding container, clean the grill off butter onions all day for eight hours.

[A]

Butter and onions for three weeks.

[B]

Yeah, all you. I was like, bro, let me do corn dogs one time, bro.

[A]

Yeah, please, bro.

[B]

The onions is in my hair. It's in my body. I'm trying to go to Melissa's house after she left. Bro, you gotta take a shower first. Yeah, you smell, you know, onions is musty.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

I'm like, and that shit gonna get.

[A]

In your pores for sure.

[B]

She's like, you can't come Straight. My car smell like onions, right? So when niggas like how you make three videos a day, nigga. When you've grilled onions for nine hours, a video ain't nothing. When you picked up cigarette butts. I could do videos all day, nigga. I used to do. And actually those weren't even the worst. The worst was Boeing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Cause at least I hate that's a physical activity.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But this Boeing having nothing. Boredom is worse than grilling onions.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm sitting here with all these old people.

[A]

It's too much idle time to think, bro.

[B]

I've watched every video on YouTube. I'm watching full movie. I'm watching Paid in full at 5 o' clock at work. I don't even have to fake work until 9. My shift started at. I'm in my desk at 5am parking in the parking lot at 4:30. Takes 20 minutes to walk from the parking lot to Boeing badge in. I'm sitting down for work at 5am no one else is in the building. I don't even have to fake work until 9. I picked that shift just because it was hard. I had two laptops, I mean two monitors, privacy screen on. I got a YouTube video playing here. And I'm faking on my Excel spreadsheet here. I got a perfect desk to hide from everybody. And I'm like, I'm counting every second of every minute of every hour of every day. I'm in the meeting, writing scripts in a Boeing company issued notebook. Interior day. Kevin does blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah. Falling asleep in meetings, getting written up. Cause I can't. I gotta stand up and meet like I was dying daily. I'd actually rather grill onions.

[A]

That's that soul crushing shit.

[B]

Soul crushing. And I was gonna get fired if we didn't make it eventually. I'm just dying here.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Cause as a creative, I was trying to sneak onto the design team so I could get a company issued MacBook instead of a Dell. Cause they have editing equipment on Macs. But I can't draw. Them niggas had a drawing test. Like, bro, you can't design blank, nigga. What? You can't draw.

[A]

You can't draw.

[B]

I'm like, bro, but I could do something. I need the MacBook, please.

[A]

I need that.

[B]

I can edit at work if I could get the MacBook. So it's like in comparison to what I have done, this. It's hard, it's tiring. You know, creative energy is still energy. You know, after a full day of shooting. I feel just as tired as I did. But it ain't grilling onions.

[A]

It ain't cigarette meat. And it's also like, man, bruh, like, this is what I signed up for. But, like, if I signed up for anything, it was this.

[B]

Every part of every job has bad parts. Niggas in the league, in the NBA, they don't necessarily want to practice. You don't want to talk to the media after you just got blown out and they ask you what you could have done better.

[A]

Yeah, like, what do you mean? We lost by 30.

[B]

We lost by 30 points. Nigga, the game was over in the second quarter.

[A]

What are you fucking.

[B]

What are you talking about?

[A]

The only thing I can do better is forget about today.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

It's the only thing I can do.

[B]

You gotta answer those stupid questions every time. It ain't even a new question.

[A]

Right, right.

[B]

So it's like.

[A]

So you were 2 of 17, right? What was going on, motherfucker? It is actually kind of like from our pov. It is shocking. They don't get fined a lot, literally. Cause I would be tripping. Like, you just build up a muscle of just dealing with they shit 1000%.

[B]

So I just have to tell myself, no job is all the fun stuff. Every part of everything beautiful. Even parenthood. Like, I love my kids. I don't mind changing diapers. I don't mind raising my children. But when they doodle up their back, I'm not excited.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I'm like, how'd your doodle get shoulder blades?

[B]

Yeah, you got a onesie on and a diaper.

[A]

Breast milk. Shit just have a different smell to it, yo.

[B]

I'm like, I might just need to put you on formula to solidify this shit.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta get some solids, bruh.

[B]

Cause this is crazy.

[A]

It's runny, it's yellow, it's nasty.

[B]

I remember my son. When I was a young parent, my oldest son threw up in his car seat, like, in the Every crevice.

[A]

It's so much shit that kids can do that as an adult, you can't, like, fathom. Like, how did you even figure out how to get into cracks? I had a. I think one of the things, like, my saving grace when I became a father was my PlayStation 3. It's like, this is what I got. You know what I'm saying? Like, this is me.

[B]

I need that.

[A]

You know, I work in two jobs. I'm working at Cold Stone, and then I'm going from Cold Stone, literally two doors down to Johnny's Pizza. And I'm working there. So I'm leaving home with cash tips. Leaving with cash tips every day. But also, like, I'm showing up at 9, leaving damn near at 1 sometime. Yeah. So, like, my two off days was like, gonna play this game. I'm gonna be with my son.

[B]

It's good.

[A]

I used to be in the living room. Listen, I used to be. This is. I'm going through it. I'm in the living room, smoking a cigarette, reading the Bible. I'm like, I don't know what. How I got here. I remember my roommate came in. He was like, is everything okay? No. No.

[B]

Smoking a cigarette, read the Bible.

[A]

Real shit.

[B]

I'm searching for answers, man.

[A]

I need something, bruh.

[B]

Hey, that's a very funny visual.

[A]

No, real shit, bro. I'm really. And he was just like. He's like, everything all right? I'm like, clearly not, my nigga. I'm trying to find a key. A key to life. I need it right now. Cause obviously I'm doing something wrong. Cause, yeah, I go to work every day. Yeah. I'm taking care of my child. Me and my girl, we got a good thing going. We moved out on our own. We got a car. But, like, something about this just ain't right. So, yeah, I'm in the living room at the kitchen table, smoking a cigarette, reading the Bible. Yes. And ain't an ashtray in sight. I just. The ass. Just long as I'm just like, man, I. God, I'm praying before I open the Bible.

[B]

Like, God had to pick up that cigarette butt. That was. It was me.

[A]

I just used to pray before I open the Bible. God, just give me a word. Something. Something that'll get me away from ice cream and pizza, man. God damn. God damn. As much as I like honest living, I remember I asked my supervisor, this is like, the first job I get is at Cold Stone when I decide, like, I'm done with this street shit. Yeah. And two months in, I looked at my manager. I was like, y' all really get up every day and do this shit. I was like, even down to the people that's on their lunch break coming here for ice cream. And this is y'. All. Like, I was like, I'm on ground now. I realize now that I was operating in an underworld, bruh. Cause everybody I knew sell drugs or rob or do something illegal. And now I'm up on the ground like, I was underground. Now I'm on level with y'. All. This is some bullshit.

[B]

Like.

[A]

Like, this Is the way to go. This is the route. That's tough, bruh. It's a tough path to freedom.

[B]

That's a tough path to freedom, man.

[A]

When I first got my screen, supposed.

[B]

To be joyful, bro.

[A]

It ain't joyful once you.

[B]

That's so dope, nigga. You wanted to make a birthday cake smoothie Sunday, bruh. Yeah, you like it?

[A]

Love it, gotta have it. Nah, I was in the streets when.

[B]

N really had to have it. Niggas mixing ice cream up hard.

[A]

Hey, sir, it's good.

[B]

You don't understand. I could cut a brick like this.

[A]

Nigga, a year ago, this was crack.

[B]

You want a waffle cone or a bowl, nigga finna lose it, Finna go back to jail, nigga, sprinkles or not.

[A]

I remember the lady came in here, came in and she was like, this doesn't look like the picture. I said, ma', am, you think I need this job? Just keep it real with yourself. Keep it real with yourself. And you tell me if you don't think I'll get that trap back jumping.

[B]

Matter of fact, I'll rob you.

[A]

On God. I know what kind of car you in. Shit can get real in this bitch. White lady, I bet you your best bet is to fucking leave. And she was like, what's your manager name? I was like, I am the manager. Now what, bitch? Now what? Now what? Yeah, I'm the shift leader, yo.

[B]

First of all, answering her question with that answer. This doesn't look like that. Do you think I need this job?

[A]

Nah, real shit, bro. I was at my wits end because it's like also too. You gotta think, this is a year prior to this. I'm probably locked up, I sell drugs, I rob full time.

[B]

Yeah, this is my full time job.

[A]

I'm freelancing. No 401k. I'm freelancing. I'm a freelance criminal. Anything goes, you know what I'm saying? You put me on a lick, I'm taking a lick, I'm rob. Oh, we could rob him. Cool. I'll have it done by eight, you know what I'm saying? Don't care how much money it is, if it's $500, I'm gonna tell you he only had two. Now I'm robbing you. You told me I could rob him and I'm robbing you too. You take $100, I'll take $400.

[B]

Hilarious.

[A]

You sound like Bing. It was some bullshit too though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like my life was some bullshit, period. It's Cause I didn't know what I wanted to do. And the thing that I did want to do was like, art.

[B]

So you robbed in the meantime?

[A]

Yeah, just. Niggas went to college. You're like, I'm not sure how I.

[B]

Want to pursue this art.

[A]

Guess I'll rob a nigga. Yeah. Yeah, bruh. It's so funny. Cause like, the first time I experienced it, I did not know that's what we was going to do. Oh, really? Yeah. So like, I started out just like selling drugs. And it was like some petty shit, honestly. I was in a quick trip and a little white girl was with her mom, and they was like, they had found a hundred dollar bill. And I'm just like ear hustling. And she was like, we'll just wait right here. Somebody will claim it. And I went into this whole thing of like. I was like, yo, bro, that's my last hundred dollars. And she came and she was like, did you drop some money? I said, I dropped a hundred dollar bill. She was like, my daughter found. I was like, oh. To the little white girl. Thank you so much. It's a child.

[B]

You robbed a baby.

[A]

I don't know who I robbed. She trying to be a good girl. She found $100.

[B]

I needed that.

[A]

I went and brought. The dude that I went to go buy the weed from didn't have a full ounce. He was like, I got 3 7. I said, shit, let me get it. That started my career in selling drugs.

[B]

I just want you to know how easily you tapped into an art form.

[A]

I acted.

[B]

You became an actor.

[A]

I became an actor. Cause I needed that hundred dollars.

[B]

I need that.

[A]

I had seven, like $7. I was in that bitch to get a quick trick slushie, like the Red Rooster Booster. Like, I was on that. You know what I mean?

[B]

I always turned to the art.

[A]

Yeah. So I. When I was like, I need a hundred dollars, I started really, like, no, not fuck, fuck. Like right where she can hear. Like, my last hundred dollars.

[B]

Oh, this is brutal.

[A]

Came up.

[B]

This is brilliant.

[A]

Came up. And then the same dude that took me to go meet the first dude that I bought from, I'm thinking, we going back to buy again. Dude hopped in the car, he pulled a pistol on him. I said, hey, what are we doing? Hey, when did we start armed robbing people? You know what I'm saying? And then when we drive off with the. So I was like, so now I have an enemy, right? Because I'm in the car. So obviously I have something to do with it. When we drove off, he was like. He popped the clip out. He was like, ain't even no bullets in this shit. I said, nigga, you would just adapt. You just adapt. You like, okay, this what we do now. I was like, wow, that was too easy.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And I like easy. You know, the most innovative people are lazy for sure. Cause they don't. They want the easiest way to do it.

[B]

I was like, philosophy. Nobody wants to work hard.

[A]

I said, bro, it just took me two weeks to make $300 off of that shit I bought. And we just got $400 in less than five minutes. This is my Vine. That's called a callback.

[B]

Crime is easy and crime pays.

[A]

Crime pays.

[B]

I don't know what them commercials are talking about.

[A]

Nah, nah, nah. Just telling some real shit. Eventually you gotta pay up, you gotta pay off. But I think the thing for me is, like, it was just a perpetual thing. Like, I'm not gonna stop, bruh. I'm gonna figure something out. Now the breaking the law part, I definitely gotta do away with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I didn't even have, like, contextually, I didn't even understand, like, I was acting. I didn't even understand, like, I'm entertaining people, like everywhere I go. Like, people laughing and shit like that. It's like, oh, this is entertainment whole time. So by the time I get here and people like, damn, it's like a natural entertainment. All I've been doing, literally, my personality is built around this since I was a kid, 1,000%.

[B]

And a lot of times, I was just talking about this earlier today. A lot of times you're a product of your environment. Like, what if somebody, when you were young and entertaining was like, we need to get you in theater or drama and there's a program and you get money from that, your mind might not even think about the other stuff.

[A]

Hell no.

[B]

But when you grow up in the hood, you trapping like, you do what you see, right. My brother in law from Atlanta too. He sold drugs, went to jail. This nigga's a rapper. He's country singer and goofy. But, nigga, you grow up in a world where you can't be goofy. Real talk, your dad don't allow it, your homies don't allow it. Your school like your whole environment like, nigga, we ain't playing. And Lavinia, now this nigga be like, at the house. Excuse me, this nigga sold drugs, hit a pistol on him. Grew up in Atlanta, fighting. But he really is a good actor. He's like, silly. Been in Our stuff. Part of it is we just don't have access to express that stuff. That's why Baltimore's mayor cut the homicide down to, like, its lowest level.

[A]

Crime.

[B]

Crime.

[A]

Crime. 60 down 66%.

[B]

You know what he did? Social programs in activities.

[A]

Yeah. Which shows you that crime is a byproduct of poverty. It's not an innate thing. It's a lack of access.

[B]

Lack of access, you got nothing to do. You hungry. And this is what you see. If you grew up and everybody was going to theater class and you see, oh, if you're the best at theater, you get this. That's what you would have done.

[A]

Real talk. And also, you in a city where, like, the two most famous products is blue crabs and the Wire.

[B]

God, I never thought of it like that.

[A]

You kind of gotta preserve culture a little bit. You actually kinda gotta sell drugs.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah, but that's the main. The two biggest things you know about Baltimore, outside of, like the Ravens. Yeah. Is Blue Crabs and the Wire. So culturally, it's like. And to me, culturally, what they represent is crime for sure. So for him to 66% is every other thing that happened. Doesn't happen.

[B]

That's. It's insane.

[A]

Do you know how crazy that is?

[B]

Insane.

[A]

Social programs. And when he got. When he won mayor, nigga had a clean ass row.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Dueling elected incumbent. He had the support of the governor. West Moore helped. You know, they put the money into the community. Kids have something to do. It's in the wire. When Cudi opened the boxing gym, them niggas get off the streets and they go, box. But if you can't go nowhere from there, then you go back to the streets. Cause at the end of the day, if I'm hungry at the end of the day, hunger is an innate human desire.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Niggas can't go to theater rehearsal if I'm hungry. Right, Right. I'm starving. I can't be funny.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

You gotta act. Art comes from a place of freedom.

[A]

You want me to act? I'm finna act hungry in this bitch. Cause that's the only thing I can pull from right now. Is there any starving people in this film? Cause I can be that right now, 1,000%.

[B]

Like when you acting for that hungry. Like it wasn't yours. But the need in it is true.

[A]

Yeah, you really did need that. I needed that.

[B]

And that's the same thing that actually.

[A]

And I tapped in like that.

[B]

Niggas gotta substitute. I gotta imagine what it's like to Be poor. Not when that's your life.

[A]

Yeah, nigga. You ain't gotta fake it.

[B]

You ain't gotta fake it. This method and someone consider you a villain. You taking $100 from a good Samaritan child. Villains are not villains in their mind. Villains have a. Acting ain't nothing. But I need to check if a.

[A]

White girl done call somebody a nigger.

[B]

By the way, she done something. We gotta justify something. She gonna be okay.

[A]

She done said something racist. She ain't no.

[B]

At minimum, she don't need this 100 like I do.

[A]

She done paid it for it.

[B]

If she looking to give it away.

[A]

She bought an N word pass that day.

[B]

Let me help you fulfill your goal of giving this back to the person who owned it.

[A]

Yeah. Really?

[B]

She left happy.

[A]

Yeah. She thought no real talk. Her and her mama, they probably bonded up.

[B]

They did a good thing.

[A]

We did a good thing.

[B]

We helped that poor nigger. Oh, they hit you with the hard er.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

They let it go and felt good about it.

[A]

Yeah. And that just goes to show how forgetful those niggas are. Dropped a hundred dollar bill. God damn it.

[B]

They probably tell that story to this day. You watch this podcast like, wow, wow.

[A]

This nigga finessed me in the quid trip.

[B]

Beat me out of the hundred. But a quick trip and bought weed.

[A]

Thank you, Lily. Shout out to you.

[B]

But it's like my sons, I think about this all the time. If I sold drugs, they would sell drugs.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

Cause they want to do whatever it is I do. If I was in the league, they want to be in the league. LeBron's sons want to be basketball players. My sons. My son just started his own YouTube channel. This nigga is me all over again, right? He's not only me in the creative basket, he's me amongst his friends because he's seeing what I have done. My youngest son was a podcast dynamo. Brilliant in front of the camera.

[A]

Right.

[B]

He don't want to do all the editing and stuff. Put him on the mic. He gonna give you what you need. Right? So we do what we see. They have seen my nieces. I want to be in ads, Uncle. I want to be on videos like you. Like they see their family business. My sister in law is. She used to work for Cartoon Network, for cnn, for Netflix. Now she's. I'm not a lawyer, but on TikTok because we do this. This is our drugs.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like our family business is content.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you go, you related to me. You gonna be in the dog was in The Spectrum commercial.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Real talk.

[B]

We gotta buy you dog food, nigga. Chip in.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

You want the little bones and treats, nigga, they asked for the dog. Do what we do.

[A]

Oh, we got a dog.

[B]

We got a dog. Yeah. Don't even worry about it. Don't even gotta pay him.

[A]

Send me content credit, too.

[B]

1,000%.

[A]

Yeah, I think that's a beautiful. That's a beautiful thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

My wife created an environment that people see. An outlet. Not only an outlet, but it's just like, this is the family business.

[B]

This is the family business. And what better business than a family business? If I want a plumber, I want Johnson and Sons. I want a mortuary. I want Johnson and Sons. Like, I want a person who's taught, who's grown up learning this.

[A]

Right? I wanna go to Willie Watkins.

[B]

Yes. The three generations of.

[A]

I need to see a last name on that.

[B]

I need the grandpa, the son, his baby.

[A]

You got embalming fluid in your body.

[B]

This is how we selling. They need you to sell dope and kill that nigga. Bring that body over to Watkins.

[A]

Yeah, bring it to Watkins.

[B]

Bring it to Watkins, right?

[A]

A funeral is such a. I just left a funeral. And funeral directors are just like. It's such a peculiar position. Cause you kind of got a sale. You your business, bruh.

[B]

They like.

[A]

We all gonna end up here one day, right? Like, what? Hey, nigga, my auntie right there, bro. Like, you can't do this another time. You ain't got no pamphlet. Like, you just gonna upsell your shit right here. We my little cousin right here. Boohoo crying. You talking about, hey, this what we all end up. And if you do so happen to end up here, give us a call.

[B]

They got to sell it, brother. What better time than right now? Right now, in your time of need.

[A]

Well, you thinking about your morality.

[B]

1000%. I remember when my brother died, I had to pay for the funeral. I had to plan the funeral. I've never planned or paid for a funeral in my life. I don't know what a gasketed casket is like. I'm like, what is that? He's like, well, you know, if you don't pay for this, the bugs and the water and the moisture are getting in.

[A]

I don't care.

[B]

I said, this nigga is moving. You're upselling me.

[A]

Yeah, Real talk, that nigga like you.

[B]

We got the Premium select over here. This is the Cadillac of coffee. Well, I gotta get my brother in the Cadillac. The nigga love the Cadillac. But also Told my wife, cremate me.

[A]

Yeah, Real talk.

[B]

I don't want these niggas to ever be able to upsell you in your time of need. Cook this nigga quick.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You know, I'm 270. Might take a little bit more time. Turn it up higher or let me go longer.

[A]

Put me on 375.

[B]

But don't you let these niggas upsell you.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

They're gonna be like, now we got the cremation. That's gonna take an hour. Or we can have him done in 15. Yeah, what do you think he would like? Nigga, take the low price.

[A]

Yeah, whatever.

[B]

I'm done. Buy me in the backyard. Toss me in a funeral pyre like Game of Thrones.

[A]

That's a tax.

[B]

Write off 1000%. Bury me loose.

[A]

Look at us. Business money. It's actually a text writing, bury me loose. Turn it into a cemetery back here.

[B]

But it's like, whatever we do. And even if my kids don't want to do that, like, one thing. I used to watch this podcast or listen to this podcast called How I Built this. And I had to stop because it was very clear to me that when white kids have ideas or white people in their friends and family, family, they have access to means often. The dude who created GoPro, you know why? He was. He was on a break from school, his family gave him money to find himself. He wanted to surf all over the globe. He was surfing all over the globe for two years while surfing. He's like, man, I wish I had a camera that could capture this. That would be so dope. I want to see what it looks like to surf. I wish I had it on my wrist. That's where the idea for GoPro came from. He raised like half a million dollars amongst friends and family only. No Shark Tank, no Silicon investors, just friends and family. Now it's worth hundreds of millions of dollars, if not close to a billion, right? If my son had that idea at that time. Nigga, great idea.

[A]

Yeah. Nah.

[B]

You wanna drop. I'm gonna drop you off at Chick Fil A, right?

[A]

How many great ideas have you had? And just realized I have no listen.

[B]

Nowhere for this to go.

[A]

I have a notebook at my house right now where I had designed a stationary charger for public use. And I was like, this is. And it'll have each one of the charges available where you can't remove it and all these different things like Android, Apple, Woo, doop, woop. And then also like a pay feature that was kind of Akin to like, kiosk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, nigga, I can't afford to do nothing with this. And now I see them shits everywhere and I be like, them motherfuckers got me again, 1,000%. They got my idea. They stole it from me. But the reality is it's just no access to the capital. And it's also like, anybody you tell, it's like, oh, that'd be dope as fuck. So can you cover the shift tomorrow or not? Like, I need you to cover my shift.

[B]

We talk about the problem in front of us today.

[A]

Yeah, you dreaming, nigga. Yeah, but even bigger. And what you to your point is, like, even if this ain't the career, I build connections. Yeah. I've created relationships on so many different levels that if this is what you want to do, I know who to call to make that happen. Right. And I think having it being successful requires building a network 1,000%. And it requires showing up when those people need you. Right?

[B]

Yep.

[A]

So, like, one thing that my kids are understanding now, and I'm telling them, like, sometimes I'm going places and it's not the podcast. Sometimes I'm going to meet with somebody to foster a relationship. And we just having lunch. But we agreed to have lunch and I have to show up.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You know what I'm saying? Regardless. You know what I mean? But this compounds into something else. And this person does this. And this person is in STEM. Well, you wanna be an engineer, so 1000.

[B]

That's why they say, like, relationships are built on the golf course. Like, that deal was closed before you had a chance to pitch him. Cause his dad know his dad, they played golf together.

[A]

Oh, God.

[B]

And that deal was closed four years.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, when these white kids go to film school, it's not to learn how to do film. It's because when I get out and I'm a producer, I'mma call you. That's why I tell people all the time, racism is a big problem in Hollywood. But the more dangerous problem is nepotism. Because I don't feel like I'm doing nothing wrong. If I need a podcast studio in Atlanta, I'mma hit the people I know in Atlanta. I'mma hit Ferg, Ronnie, you. You know what I'm saying, Tyler? Hey, man. 85 south, dudes. I need a spot. I don't know a white person to ask.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So imagine for 2, 300 years in the film industry, however long, whatever, 100, 150 years, it's always been white People.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They're like, the nigga who's the president in Scandal. Tony Goldwyn. Goldwyn. Is the G in mgm Metro. Goldwyn Mayer, that nigga. You think that nigga's not getting the role? He's the G. And you just auditioning.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

N. Sit down. That nigga's the G? Yeah, he's the G. Jamie Lee Curtis mom was in Scream or whatever, the Psycho. And she said, like, it came down to her and another girl who were equally talented, but her mom was in Psycho. Like, that's that business. You don't even. Jamie Lee Curtis don't have to do nothing. She don't even know this is happening. Like, my son, they're gonna be like, if it comes down to his kid. Talented person. Or Kev on stage's son. Kev on stage's son.

[A]

And the tricky thing about nepotism is this, right? It's an issue until you can participate in it.

[B]

Now it's a problem. Remember Bronny Bron?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, my God. How dare LeBron get his son drafted. He doesn't. He's not worth it. Nigga. Jerry Jones. The Cowboys is a billion dollar franchise. Did his kids audition for. Are they the most qualified caretakers of the Cowboy franchise, or are they his children?

[A]

They just his children.

[B]

They're not looking for another person.

[A]

The LA Lakers family.

[B]

The bus.

[A]

The bus.

[B]

Genie Buss.

[A]

Genie buss.

[B]

Jerry Buss.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's going to my son. Churches, same idea. The churches are just not worth a billion dollars. It's just my daddy church. I inherited a bill.

[A]

They inherited a billion also, too.

[B]

Cut to my close up on that for if you missed it.

[A]

The church is in the church also. You got to show up for them for sure. You may not be as good a pastor as your daddy.

[B]

1,000%.

[A]

That is a difference, because you got to maintain that congregation.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And it's like, bless his heart.

[B]

Bless his heart.

[A]

But that motherfucker can't preach. You know what I'm saying? He need to be over something else. But I think the thing is, is, like, Ronnie just did, like, a dunk from, like, damn near the free throw line the other day, and everybody was like, well, look, just like his dad. Well, shit.

[B]

Yeah. And that exists in every industry on Earth.

[A]

Zoe Kravitz.

[B]

Zoe Kravitz. But now, I'm not implying that they're not talented.

[A]

On the flip side of it, there is a thing of. Because you have these relationships, you can go to the best film school, and you might actually have a talent And a passion for this. And that's when it is good. It sucks when the person is talentless and just ain't got nothing better to do. And it's like, I'm gonna make you the head of the organization. Cause you can't stay. You can't stop doing drugs.

[B]

And that's what Hollywood.

[A]

You fucking up the family names. So now I gotta bruh, I don't wanna tell no story.

[B]

They literally trying to keep you out of jail.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you talking about black people. I remember I was talking to black.

[A]

Producer, like, yo, Hunter Biden.

[B]

It's like, 1,000 niggas on crack.

[A]

We gotta, like, give him a position. This nigga stay off of drugs. You know what I'm saying? Like, Tom Hanks son speaks full patois. It's like, it's crazy. Like, no, like, it's a crazy thing. Because the privilege does grant you access. And if you, like, are an idle person, like, are you directionless? You do also have access to the worst parts of life, too. 1,000% and the funds to do so.

[B]

1,000%. You the grandson of the nigga that was the nigga. You ain't got no. Like, at least my kids have a connection. They watch me build it, right? Their kids, if I keep going, they have your grandkids.

[A]

Is just like, Kev on stage's grandson.

[B]

Nigga, he got to have the job, right? I've done my part.

[A]

If somebody's irritated that my grandson got this position because of who I am, hey, good on you, brother.

[B]

I've done my part. I can roll over in my urn.

[A]

Cause you know they got the crew.

[B]

Baby, mix me up on stage at the third. All right, well, I think we've did. You did.

[A]

Tour just wrapped, correct?

[B]

Tour just wrapped.

[A]

Do you got anything that you want to plug before we get a fire?

[B]

Successful failure. The book, if you had a good time. My life story is in that book. September 23rd. Pre order it now. I'm trying to make the New York Times bestseller list.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Follow me on YouTube. I'm trying to hit a million. The bald brothers tour. We just dropped those dates today, so come see me in the city near you.

[A]

Okay, bet. What's up with Churchy?

[B]

Churchy's coming out either next month or in September.

[A]

So can I make a cameo in there as, like, the street dude that's ready to.

[B]

I got a list of actors to use if we get a season three. I would be adding you to it now that I've seen you act. Hey, I'm adding you to my little.

[A]

I'm on the spot. Hey, this is where the deals get made, baby. Listen, on the podcast, count.

[B]

Listen, it's like, you can't audition.

[A]

That role's already cast.

[B]

I already talked to Deontay. Nepotism.

[A]

Nepotism.

[B]

Cause then you can promote that episode on your podcast. Now, you know your people coming to watch it. You scratch my back, I scratch yours.

[A]

Hey, I promote the book.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

You get it on New York Times bestseller.

[B]

There you go. Everybody wins.

[A]

And then I'm in churchy season.

[B]

And there you go. Sucks to be you if you're auditioning. I mean, you know, obviously, but Ro probably won't even go out for audition, man. That's how it is.

[A]

I'm sorry. Word of the day, black nepotism. We'll see you next time.