Episode 77 - United in Grief

Summary

Podcast Summary: Grits and Eggs Podcast – Episode 77: "United in Grief"

Release Date: July 22, 2025
Host: Deontay Kyle
Co-Host: Bartholomew ("Big Ice Cup Cat")
Guest: Stephen Dingle
Description: Deontay Kyle delivers raw and unfiltered conversations on pop culture, current events, conspiracies, and more.

---

Introduction

In Episode 77, titled "United in Grief," Deontay Kyle and his co-host Bartholomew ("Big Ice Cup Cat") delve deep into the pervasive state of grief within the Black community. The episode intertwines personal anecdotes, societal observations, and listener interactions to explore how collective and individual grief shapes experiences and behaviors.

The State of Grief in Black Communities

Understanding Grief:
Deontay Kyle initiates the conversation by discussing the five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—and how these stages are perpetually cycled through within the Black community. He emphasizes that the continuous exposure to systemic injustices, such as overt fascism, racism, and environmental racism, keeps individuals in a constant state of grief.

"We are united in grief, and sometimes we don't have any time to think... When we're hit with information, like the stances that I may take about things, the perspective shifting that we're doing, educated people stepping up and speaking their piece and giving you a new and a fresh perspective on things may be a little frustrating to you because you haven't had time to think, you haven't had time to process."
— Deontay Kyle [38:00]

Impact of Systemic Issues:
The hosts discuss how late-stage capitalism and policies driven by those in power exacerbate these feelings of helplessness and grief. They argue that the relentless pressure on marginalized communities to strive for economic stability without addressing underlying systemic issues only deepens the collective trauma.

"When you're in a state of grief, you're always on the defense, you're always reacting. It's very hard to have time to be proactive while meanwhile they're always on the offense."
— Deontay Kyle [10:00]

Hip Hop and Cultural Impact

Reviewing Clips' Album:
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to analyzing the latest album drop by the hip-hop group Clips. Deontay and his co-host commend the album’s quality, emphasizing its internal and external rhyme schemes and the meaningful collaboration between Pusha T and Malice.

"He got big bro with him, like, in a real way. Not just a nigga that got money that you trying to look up to his actual big brother."
— Deontay Kyle [25:30]

OGs vs. New Generation:
The discussion contrasts the authenticity and depth of older hip-hop artists with the perceived superficiality of newer acts. They lament the shift towards performative elements and the loss of meaningful storytelling that characterized earlier eras.

"You gotta be street smart, you gotta be intelligent, you gotta have a little spiritual aspect."
— Deontay Kyle [23:50]

Community Support and Creativity

Encouraging Black Creativity:
The hosts stress the importance of creativity as a coping mechanism against the pervasive state of grief. They advocate for Black individuals to engage in creative endeavors not only for personal healing but also to challenge and reshape societal narratives.

"Black people have always been extremely creative. Historically, before America, before any of this, we were creating, and we're going to continue to create."
— Deontay Kyle [85:53]

Listener Contributions:
Listeners share their experiences and seek advice on personal and professional challenges. The hosts provide candid and sometimes blunt responses, aiming to guide listeners towards self-acceptance and proactive problem-solving.

Listener Voicemails and Stories

Voicemail 1: Career Advice for a Truck Driver (J Squared)
J Squared, a 22-year-old truck driver, expresses feelings of isolation and monotony due to night shifts. He contemplates transitioning to a trade such as electrician or welding but seeks guidance on balancing career aspirations with personal fulfillment.

"I just want to have the time to kind of do shit. I'm trying to get on today, but these motherfuckers on dick, man."
— J Squared [73:18]

Hosts' Response:
Deontay advises J Squared to plan meticulously, suggesting stacking savings before transitioning careers and emphasizing the importance of having a broader life perspective beyond immediate job frustrations.

"Make a plan. Live low. Give yourself a year... Find the best one for you."
— Deontay Kyle [74:56]

Voicemail 2: Relationship Struggles of a Bisexual Man
A 23-year-old bisexual man discusses the end of a three-year relationship exacerbated by his fear of embracing his true identity, leading to infidelity and emotional turmoil.

"I was caught talking on the Grindr app a couple times. But she forgave me and told me she didn't care and accepted me..."
— Caller [73:18]

Hosts' Response:
Deontay and Bartholomew provide a no-nonsense approach, encouraging honesty and self-awareness. They emphasize the need for personal growth and the importance of ending toxic relationships for mutual healing.

"You have to be honest about who you are, regardless of what I mean..."
— Deontay Kyle [85:57]

Voicemail 3: Navigating Career and Parenthood
A 29-year-old medical assistant grapples with balancing a burgeoning career that requires frequent travel with his responsibilities as a new parent, leading to marital strain.

"We have a village steps in to help when we need it. He feels like I shouldn't be gone as long or as often because I have a kid now."
— Caller [86:00]

Hosts' Response:
The hosts advise setting clear goals and boundaries, emphasizing the importance of prioritizing family without sacrificing career ambitions. They advocate for open communication and strategic planning to navigate the complexities of dual responsibilities.

"You got a lot of life to live. And without the responsibilities and with your youth on your side, I would say make sure you're taking care of your health while you out there on that road."
— Deontay Kyle [78:00]

Conclusion

Episode 77 of the Grits and Eggs Podcast offers a profound exploration of the enduring grief within the Black community, underscored by personal narratives and societal critiques. Deontay Kyle and his co-host Bartholomew effectively blend introspective dialogue with actionable advice, fostering a space for listeners to reflect on their experiences and challenges. Through candid discussions and listener engagement, the episode underscores the importance of community support, creative expression, and honest communication in overcoming collective and individual grief.

---

Notable Quotes:

• "We are united in grief, and sometimes we don't have any time to think." — Deontay Kyle [38:00]
• "Black people have always been extremely creative." — Deontay Kyle [85:53]
• "You have to be honest about who you are." — Deontay Kyle [85:57]

Key Topics Covered:

• The perpetual state of grief in Black communities
• Analysis of contemporary hip-hop and cultural shifts
• The role of creativity in personal and communal healing
• Listener stories on career transitions, relationship struggles, and balancing parenthood with professional life

Takeaways:

• Understanding and addressing the stages of grief can empower individuals and communities to navigate systemic challenges.
• Authenticity and meaningful engagement in creative pursuits are vital for personal growth and societal change.
• Open and honest communication is essential in overcoming personal and relational adversities.

---

Follow the Grits and Eggs Podcast:

• Website: deontaykyle.com
• Instagram: GristenxPodcast
• Patreon: Grits and Eggs Podcast
• Call-In Number: 657-234-3447
• Music Submissions: deontaykyle.com/music

Stay connected and join the conversation as Deontay and Bartholomew continue to address pressing issues with honesty and accountability.

Transcript

[Deontay Kyle]

One take, that's all we need, baby, yeah.

[Big Ice Cup Cat]

Woke up in the morning and to God be the glory Thankful for another day to tell my story Put my opinions in the universe and let them orbit I'm from the dirty south with a dirty mouth Might need orbit miss things things on me like a Norbit had to refuse them cause my bitch no rest fusion she gorgeous as I doubt my sons up and kiss my daughter forehead Tell them we gonna get into my pockets more bit remember living in apartments now we playing mortgage you ain't gotta like a regardless baby I'm blessed and I keep that blick with me. We like grits and eggs as you sip your coffee Flick your cigarette and let a vent yeah, we back.

[Deontay Kyle]

Oh, we back. Grist and Eggs podcast, episode 76 7. I am your host, Deontay Kyle. But who's behind the camera?

[Bartholomew]

The coolest co host in the world. Big ice cup cat back.

[Deontay Kyle]

We back, man.

[Bartholomew]

Big ice cup man.

[Deontay Kyle]

Man blicking them down with the guest.

[Bartholomew]

Star studded last week.

[Deontay Kyle]

Illustrious, huh? The brand was braw.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

You hear me? A lot of muscle on that brand.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Brand been in the gym.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Speaking of brands. Ow. Ooh. We back with the coffee black. Chris, go shop coffee black. They just sent us some pack. They got the family reunion pack out right now. Go shop with them boys, man. You know my man Bartholomew, a good man over there. Great man. Doing good things in that community out there in Memphis. Deontayeontecowell.com for all your emails, advice, submissions and music submissions. Got that new music Monday with self made cool coming. It'll be out by the time they watch this.

[Stephen Dingle]

It'll be out?

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, it'll be out. Big cat is in his interviewer bag. He's in his. He. He's in his, you know. You know, big boys, neighborhood sway in the morning.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

We don't do the. I would say Ebro, but, you know.

[Bartholomew]

Nah, we're not doing that.

[Deontay Kyle]

If I had to wait the operation, call it obese Deontay cow across all socials. GristenxPodcast on Instagram. I don't really use the TikTok one. Cause why would I? You know what I'm saying? 500k.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

On TikTok.

[Bartholomew]

They know who you are.

[Deontay Kyle]

They know who I am. That is the Grits and Eggs podcast.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

On Instagram, Deontay Kyle. TikTok diontechn.com, but on Instagram, follow hristenxpodcast. That's where you're gonna get everything just solely related to the podcast. B I g g k 8, 9. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

[Bartholomew]

It's changed. It's just a big ice cup cat on everything.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah.

[Bartholomew]

Big ice cup.

[Deontay Kyle]

Big ice cup cat on everything.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Huh? Get your ice cup ready. I got mine.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Bartholomew]

Good ice in that cup.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. A lot of ice, huh?

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Everybody else got the Stanley. I got the Bradley.

[Bartholomew]

You got the Bradley. Damn. Stanley. We got Bradley.

[Deontay Kyle]

Stanley, stay off the grass. But deontay.com for all the merch. We do have a merch clearance going on right now. You know, we constantly rinsing and repeating, seeing what works, what doesn't. We do got puzzles. We got some shot glasses. We do have a set of shot glasses coming that are going to be. All the proceeds of those shot glasses are going to be donated to our teachers needs list fund. What is it called? School supply. So we have a school supply fund that we're doing. If you want to donate to that, just buy the shot glasses. They were made by one of the listeners just so the proceeds can go to the teachers. I think It's a total of 50. Yeah, but. And fuck, let me do the knowledge.

[Bartholomew]

Do the knowledge real quick.

[Deontay Kyle]

Do the knowledge.

[Bartholomew]

Man, he was all over the place.

[Deontay Kyle]

Piss suki off.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bartholomew]

Please don't. Please don't piss the saint off.

[Deontay Kyle]

Okay, so along with all the proceeds from those shot glasses specifically going towards the school supply list, a portion of our proceeds through July 31st will be donated to the teacher fundraising. And we have free shipping on all orders over $100. And then we have select items on clearance that you can see. You can see those. Those items. I'll just tell you what it is. I don't want to piss suki. To sign off. The denim buckets, the hater, not a liar tee and crewneck hater. Liar cord, dad hat, signature logo cord that had signature logo T. The creative kits and most of the cousin club merch will be on clearance. The discount will be automatically applied at checkout. 657-234-Eggs. That's 657-234-3447. Call in. We got a couple voicemails today that we're gonna talk answer to, but also we're going live tonight on that. On that patreon ain't never $8. $8 patreon never $8 $8. The grits and eggs podcast on Patreon. If you are on there when we go live, we do open up that phone line and answer your questions live or just chop it up with you about whatever the topic is. Be what?

[Bartholomew]

Spear fingers?

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. Yeah. They don't make movies like that no more. Nah, just fun movies. Yeah. What was that? Bring it on.

[Bartholomew]

Bring it on.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. As I'm doing the cultural appropriation. Yeah, they were cultural Vulture. Stealing. Stealing from Gabrielle Union and the Clovers.

[Bartholomew]

Gabrielle pulled up on them, though.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nah. All right. Pulled up to y'. All. Shit. Oh, y' all gonna do our dance move. We gonna do it, too. Plain clothes.

[Bartholomew]

Plain clothes.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. Show you who the originator is. The original man.

[Bartholomew]

The original man. Do the knowledge on that dance, man.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, do the knowledge. Do the knowled on this choreography real quick on this.

[Bartholomew]

Compton Clovers.

[Deontay Kyle]

Compton Clovers. Yeah, show us Compton Clovers. All right, so get it back.

[Bartholomew]

Get back on tracks.

[Deontay Kyle]

Asiatic Black Woman.

[Bartholomew]

All right, so.

[Deontay Kyle]

So again, 65724 for all Collins bias awards. We're trying to get number two. We already won the AAMBC, and we'll be going to that awards mixer. Get our. We're gonna get our.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

We can get rid of some of these Funko pops. We're gonna start putting awards.

[Stephen Dingle]

Hell, yeah.

[Bartholomew]

Putting trophies.

[Deontay Kyle]

Hold on. Another thing.

[Bartholomew]

What happened?

[Deontay Kyle]

98K subscribers on YouTube. By the time this come out, we should have broke 100.

[Bartholomew]

Oh, get that plaque.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Bartholomew]

Oh, put that plaque up there.

[Deontay Kyle]

Move over the rock.

[Bartholomew]

Yeah, Move over Dwayne Rockyville.

[Deontay Kyle]

You move over you Bas Jordan Pill. Joe Gardner. Get the out of here. We gonna keep t bos Keep t bos. Keep t bos.

[Bartholomew]

Keep t bos.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. We got Ke. We got two awards and. And a YouTube plaque on the way.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

All thanks to you. Shout out to the cousin, man.

[Bartholomew]

Shout out to the cousins.

[Deontay Kyle]

Shout out to all the listeners we back, man. Drop a bomb.

[Stephen Dingle]

Drop a bomb. Yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Drop a bond real quick. Shout out to y', all, man.

[Big Ice Cup Cat]

I.

[Deontay Kyle]

Was in the truck with it.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Smell like diesel fuel.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Eating Burger King.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Now what?

[Bartholomew]

Now Kev on stage. Look at you, A.B. look at you. Ah, man. How does it feel?

[Deontay Kyle]

Shout out from Tyler the Creator. Come on, cuz. Who doing that? How does it feel? Feels great, man.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Grape in my too.

[Bartholomew]

Good grape, good grape.

[Deontay Kyle]

Grape skin in my tooth. Shout out, Tyler the Creator, man.

[Big Ice Cup Cat]

Oh.

[Deontay Kyle]

Just announced an album coming out. By the time we listen, I mean, he dropping that on a Monday. So by the time. Yeah, y' all hear this episode, it'll be out. And I'm sure it's fire.

[Bartholomew]

And it'd be a new music Mondays.

[Deontay Kyle]

And a new talent. New talent creators. We might run it.

[Bartholomew]

We have to run it.

[Deontay Kyle]

We might have to run that old album, huh? Hey, give Tyler zero ice cups. No, I'm just. He'll type out everything he said about it. On second thought, those niggas are lame. They're liars.

[Bartholomew]

Them niggas don't know music over there.

[Deontay Kyle]

Every time I give a nigga props. Oh, we love you. Tight. Yeah, but that BIA award. Those nominations are in the description. The link to get to the nominations now. We'll be right back after this commercial break for Atlanta Comic Con. Mmm. We back. Yeah, man. We're gonna be in the 75 7. I'm from Virginia, where ain't shit to do but cook. Hey, listen, man, that Clips album is insane. When we talk about a 10 out of 10. Hold on. Let's take a vote for Steven Dingle. If you're in Atlanta, vote Stephen Dingle, District 11 city councilman. That's one of our faults.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

I don't even know bro personally. Well, I've met him a few times, and we wanna have him on when they get closer to election season, but, bro, that's an everyday dude right there.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

A vote for Steven Dingle is a vote for me. If you would like to see me in office. As y' all have said several times, just vote for Steven Dingle even if you ain't in Atlanta.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Move to Atlanta and vote. Vote for Steven Dingle.

[Bartholomew]

Then went back.

[Deontay Kyle]

I mean, 2 million of y' all came out here for Beyonce concert and listen and the mlb.

[Stephen Dingle]

The all star game.

[Deontay Kyle]

All star game.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

It was 2 million people in Atlanta.

[Bartholomew]

For two events, son.

[Deontay Kyle]

That's crazy, son. It was crazy.

[Bartholomew]

Traffic was terrible.

[Deontay Kyle]

Traffic is always terrible.

[Bartholomew]

But extra 2 million. An extra 2 million.

[Deontay Kyle]

2 million people.

[Bartholomew]

They actually broke a martyr station.

[Deontay Kyle]

Hey. And as God would have it, n robbed Beyonce in Atlanta. Yeah. Straight up shout out to. Shout out to the fo Foe the real fold. Foe.

[Bartholomew]

Nigga, that's so Atlanta.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, nigga, this shit is not Atlanta. No, we robbing Beyonce, nigga.

[Bartholomew]

Well, okay. They didn't rob Beyonce.

[Deontay Kyle]

They didn't rob. It was a burglary. Yeah, it was a burglary.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

They rob red gunpoint. We want to give off that.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

But burglarizing is gangster like.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Cause how you even get back there?

[Bartholomew]

Don't even leave your bags.

[Deontay Kyle]

I'm telling you, bro, it's so many black people in Atlanta.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

The police is black.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yep.

[Deontay Kyle]

The security guards is black.

[Bartholomew]

Everybody's black.

[Deontay Kyle]

The valet is black, the doorman is. Everybody's black. So this the thing.

[Bartholomew]

They calling their cousins.

[Deontay Kyle]

Nigga call their cousins. Beyonce, you ain't gonna believe this shit. This shit too crazy. Like, I'm right here. They gave me the backstage pass, right? So I'm guarding the door. But black truck, right?

[Bartholomew]

Beyonce hopped out that motherfucker.

[Deontay Kyle]

But I ain't gonna lie, Beyonce hopped out that motherfucker thick as hell, man. I seen Jay Z, Blue Ivy, Autumn, had a whole family. They out there performing right now. Come get this.

[Bartholomew]

Come get the badge.

[Deontay Kyle]

Come get it bad, bro, we're gonna come up, man. We're gonna have all the unreleased tracks, bro. Cowboy Carter, too.

[Bartholomew]

Now, listen, they broke it. Beyonce's car. They had a warrant for somebody the next day. That has never happened.

[Deontay Kyle]

First of all. First of all, you know Jay Z. Yes, you know Jay Z had the video footage immediately.

[Bartholomew]

Immediately.

[Deontay Kyle]

Who?

[Bartholomew]

Oh, that's him.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, that's all right. Bet. Put the warrant out on him. Matter of fact, call Tata.

[Bartholomew]

You know how many cars get broken into Atlanta every day?

[Deontay Kyle]

Every day, bruh, nobody cares. Bruh, nobody cares. But you break into Beyonce's car, bang.

[Bartholomew]

Warrant the next day, mother, we have you.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, yeah. You're going to prison, brother. Nigga sitting at Right street or not right now, but I ain't gonna lie. Some of them little unreached. Lee tried too hard, though.

[Bartholomew]

We still got them, though. We still got them.

[Deontay Kyle]

Worth it. I already backed them up.

[Bartholomew]

Yeah, we got them.

[Deontay Kyle]

We got that on the hard drive. I'm finna tat them folks and give me 250,000. Yeah, speaking of Atlanta, before we get back to this Clips album, you know, the more visibility, the more notoriety we get. We have to be very mindful of the things that we say.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

But I don't give a fuck. What the fuck? What the fuck did Lil Baby have on?

[Bartholomew]

Lil Baby came out like diamond on Players Club.

[Deontay Kyle]

First of all, my nigga, no tattoos. To thigh tattoos is crazy. Crazy 90s babies on the thighs. On the thighs.

[Bartholomew]

Thigh meat. Thigh meat on the quads, right above the kneecap.

[Deontay Kyle]

And then the thing is, you gotta wear short shirts because you want to show the tattoo. I'm show it under. Dress like Riley.

[Bartholomew]

Real bulldogs.

[Deontay Kyle]

Gangster lip.

[Bartholomew]

Gangster. Cable stage, nigga.

[Deontay Kyle]

Cable stage. Looking like gangster. Where you get that wife beater from?

[Bartholomew]

Where you get that pink belt from, bro?

[Deontay Kyle]

Where you get all that clothes?

[Bartholomew]

All those articles got to get burned number Jada's clothes. Yeah, yeah, those are Jada on the.

[Deontay Kyle]

Wet the wet top. You know what I'm talking about, Man, We a long way from that freestyle, man.

[Bartholomew]

I love a baby, but that's crazy.

[Deontay Kyle]

We a long way from that freestyle.

[Bartholomew]

No, we are. See, what money? How much money? How much money do you need to have you walking on stage like that to not give a damn no more?

[Deontay Kyle]

And then this is the thing. That little bitty ass outfit with that hat just like, bro, take the hell out. Just. Hey, man, that was a visor fit. That's the type of fit you throw on a visor with. That's crazy.

[Bartholomew]

That fit was crazy.

[Deontay Kyle]

That fit was insane. The thigh tats are worse because they don't even seem like really good thigh tats.

[Bartholomew]

Nah, he went to his homeboy.

[Deontay Kyle]

Still going to his homeboy from Phobia.

[Bartholomew]

My man still do my tattoos.

[Deontay Kyle]

I give my dog the opportunity. Yeah, how I'm gonna get like, you know, I don't really be getting tattooed like that, but if I'm gonna get one, like, yeah, what type nigga I am if I don't let my partner.

[Stephen Dingle]

Tattoo you know what I'm saying?

[Deontay Kyle]

It time to laser that shit off.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bartholomew]

Can't get that shit up off you.

[Deontay Kyle]

Go get the laser tattoo removal and bring your thighs back. Y' all hear? Hoochie daddy shorts and a halter top with 90s baby tattooed on your thigh meat right across your quads. Now he say, I don't want to get no tattoos. Cause I don't want nobody thinking I'm a thug. We don't think that. Hey, you safe on that thug shit. All right, all right. I was gonna get disrespectful.

[Bartholomew]

Yeah, don't get disrespectful.

[Deontay Kyle]

Please shout out. Shout out my label that me shout out for people if I don't want no smoke with you.

[Bartholomew]

Nah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Okay. I know you got weed and pit bulls. I'm straight. You ever seen the Pho Pf Frenchies?

[Bartholomew]

You know, he actually went to high school with his sister.

[Deontay Kyle]

Who?

[Bartholomew]

The baby sister.

[Deontay Kyle]

What's her name?

[Bartholomew]

Deja.

[Deontay Kyle]

She graduated before me, though.

[Bartholomew]

I think I'm the same.

[Deontay Kyle]

I graduated 08.

[Bartholomew]

Y' all might be the same.

[Deontay Kyle]

Oh, Lil Baby, you from Douglasville.

[Bartholomew]

Nah, his sister just came.

[Deontay Kyle]

His sister shout out to Douglasville, man. Now we got Kanye west and Lil Baby. Raise the roof, nigga. Me Kanye West. Lil Baby. Douglas county strong. Oh, my God. Me big cat. Kanye West. Little baby. Don't put a little baby.

[Bartholomew]

But now we did it. We went to high school with the sister, though.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. All right.

[Bartholomew]

What you got to say, how you Feeling?

[Deontay Kyle]

Is a 10 out of 10 album. First of all, we. We're not even gonna get into the no skips part.

[Bartholomew]

It's definitely no skips.

[Deontay Kyle]

There's no skips. Let's start at the beginning. We hear ace trumpets. We see the visualizer. We don't get a video for ace trumpets. And I'm like, oh, the album coming out. I didn't know the greatest rollout of in hip hop history was about to commence. Listen. God damn. If you're gonna use the Internet, use it like that. Dropping three interviews a day.

[Bartholomew]

Yeah, them niggas is everywhere.

[Deontay Kyle]

They everywhere. You can't escape it. Malice just.

[Bartholomew]

Yeah, you could tell, like, he doing.

[Deontay Kyle]

It, but he the one thing that was on the one. The dude that's on the news that also, like, be quoting hip hop shit in Atlanta. Or he just a news guy, but he's like. He. Look, I don't want to misidentify this, man. He's very ambiguous looking fella, but he be having. He like. He's a newscaster, but he liked to quote hip hop. Hip hop. And then he said. Like, he said pharrell, then he said this person, then he said that person. Then he gonna end with Travis Scott. Like, why would you. Y' all gotta stop. Yeah, especially you, my nigga. Like, you. We was fucking with you. Why you trying to be messy, my nigga? But look, this the funniest thing. Pusha T was like, who? Malice was like, I don't do that. Don't even bring that type of shit to me, bro. Yeah, yeah, man. Bro, I. Big boys, neighborhood interview. Dope.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

When they went to the places that was like, really? Where they show love to the artists, and it's not just about clips and they just happy that the people are there. B Dot's interview. Smoked it. They had a lot of great interviews, but I would say by far the two that stood out to me the most, just from the perspective of they here just to talk about the music and not about getting clips and do the light night shout out Joe Rogan, Joe Budden podcast. But they was on there being messy as hell.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

And that's what's gonna happen on Joe Button. This is gonna happen on Joe Button podcast. But I think b Dot's interview with them was immaculate. I would say if you're gonna watch an interview and you want to know more about the clips and you want to know more about their history and who they are as individuals, and then them having their reunion go Watch that B Dot interview. Go watch that big boy interview.

[Bartholomew]

Shout out to B Dot.

[Deontay Kyle]

Shout out to B Dot. Man, we talking about a 10 out of 10 album. We talking about the best rollout in years. And we talking about malice leaving Earth.

[Bartholomew]

Yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Like, if you in the studio right now and you call yourself a rapper before you drop the next album, go read Deuteronomy John 10:10. That's my usual. Golly, man.

[Bartholomew]

Yo, he's on a different level.

[Deontay Kyle]

He got holy Bible bars.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

No cur. Little to no cursing.

[Bartholomew]

He didn't have to.

[Deontay Kyle]

Dog. He was leaving Earth. I wish we could play it without getting, like, demonetized.

[Bartholomew]

We probably already there.

[Deontay Kyle]

We can't guarantee that.

[Bartholomew]

Yeah, well, we can't.

[Deontay Kyle]

We've been doing really good lately.

[Bartholomew]

Okay?

[Deontay Kyle]

We want to keep up the good streak.

[Bartholomew]

All right.

[Deontay Kyle]

That pov. Let's talk about. We got to. We going to have to. Okay, first of all, before we get back into this album, let's talk about the run that Pusha T has been on. Okay? Yeah, it. You could consider this a three album run. It's almost dry. No, no, no, Daytona. It's almost dry. And now let God sort him out. Masterful.

[Bartholomew]

And he's rapping.

[Deontay Kyle]

And he's rapping. Oh, he's rapping. Pov Keylos in my. My back. My cut neck wear punk. Need tails. Ty back. I just hid 6 mil behind Tyvac.

[J Squared]

Mm.

[Deontay Kyle]

All I see is. What'd he say? What? What do you say? They create 60 day stars. Oh, and 20 year thousandaires. Yeah, not enough shopping. Whole lot of browsing there. First of all, don't talk to me like.

[Bartholomew]

First of all. First of all, son, don't talk about my money.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, yeah. Like, don't call me. No.

[Bartholomew]

Don't talk about my wallets.

[Deontay Kyle]

Don't do that. I'm glad he called out this network, but get these 5,500 host the out of here. Come on, man. Damn. You can't go pick up 5.5 real quick?

[Bartholomew]

Nah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Thousandaire.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Bartholomew]

Can't even buy a brick with that.

[Deontay Kyle]

You can't even buy nothing with that. Can't even buy a quarter brick.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

If it's not brick money, is it money?

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Bartholomew]

Is it real money?

[Deontay Kyle]

Is it real money? If you can't buy a brick with.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Even talk to me and the prices fluctuate.

[Bartholomew]

That is disrespectful, though. That's worse than putting my mansion on my wall.

[Deontay Kyle]

No. All right, see, this is the thing about, like, Jay Z and Pusha T. Specifically Like Rock Marciano.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

The way that they brag about luxury. Good. Really just makes you feel like, God, I'm not working hard enough.

[Bartholomew]

Just up echelon.

[Deontay Kyle]

Either I'm not working hard enough or my taste is shit.

[Bartholomew]

Yeah, I don't have good taste.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. I just don't have good taste.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

And then what did he say? My connecting Miami like Big Worm. Cause the numbers was face on Cupid showed me nothing but love. What is he talking about? Cuban's showed me nothing but love. The numbers is phazon.

[Bartholomew]

We've never been in them rooms, bro.

[Deontay Kyle]

We ain't been in them rooms.

[Bartholomew]

We've never been there.

[Deontay Kyle]

Penne a la vaca, Panama, fishing trip, visiting with papa with chapas. All of you imposters simply just Ferrari window shoppers. The one that I just ordered, he didn't say he bought it. He ordered. He ordered it.

[Bartholomew]

He ordered it.

[Deontay Kyle]

Looks like it was built by NASA. Over half a meal we call Fakasha. What are you talking about? Malice, good bread. Reaching for Akasha. Never leaving home without my peace. Like I'm Mahatma. Jesus Christ. When I heard that, I was like, cut this off.

[Bartholomew]

My head exploded.

[Deontay Kyle]

That's what we call motherfucking hip hop.

[Bartholomew]

Yeah, them bars, bro.

[Deontay Kyle]

That's bars. Whoa.

[Bartholomew]

Not only do you have to be intelligent, you have to be street smart to understand.

[Deontay Kyle]

You gotta be street smart, you gotta be intelligent, you gotta have a little spiritual aspect.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

You have to go. Have to go and sit down with God.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

You had to go on that beach with Jesus.

[Bartholomew]

You had to talk with God.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The footprints in the sand had to.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Had to get carried for a little bit.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Before you, you know, it was two sets of footprints.

[Bartholomew]

Now it's one set, there's one, then.

[Deontay Kyle]

The two pop back up. You had to get carried. Just had to carry you on that beach. If you ain't never had the footprints in the sand, you ain't gonna get this.

[Bartholomew]

You ain't gonna get it.

[Deontay Kyle]

Golly, man, that man is amazing, bruh. I mean, we, you know, we talked about this. Me and Big Cat was in the whip when H. Trump is dropped and just kind of in awe. So we went back to Lord willing. We've talked about Lord willing so many, several times. So many times.

[Bartholomew]

That's just a classic album, bro.

[Deontay Kyle]

I'm not the. I'm not a Hell have no Fury guy. I'm a Lord Willing guy.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

But Hell have no Fury.

[Bartholomew]

Great album.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

We got it for cheap. That Makes tape series.

[Bartholomew]

But you gotta think, when Lord Willing came out, I was in seventh grade.

[Deontay Kyle]

I was in sixth grade, I was gonna say that shit in the project.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Bartholomew]

My mom said, what's that album you listen to all the time by the clips? I said, lord willing. She said, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, they wanted them one. Yeah, they talked that good. They talk good shit.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

So we was listening back to it, and a big thing that we was taking away is, like, even no matter how dope, this is like, really, like, a family dynamic. Right. First of all, you can see how happy Push is just to have Malice back with.

[Bartholomew]

Yeah, he's.

[Deontay Kyle]

He's happy. He's. He's like, nothing can bother him.

[Bartholomew]

He got his big brother with him, bruh. He got big bro with him.

[Deontay Kyle]

He got big bro with him, like, in a real way. Not just a nigga that got money that you trying to look up to his actual big brother.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah, Gene.

[Deontay Kyle]

So we was like, damn, yo, this nigga Pusha is ill as fuck. And it don't matter, because malice is coming. And if you look at. If you go listen to their music, their format is Pusha does the hook. Pusha has the first verse, Malice closes it out. And boy, does he close it out every goddamn time, talking about Fico.

[Bartholomew]

Stove, God, stove, God. He blacked out. I wish he had a verse on that one.

[Deontay Kyle]

No, he probably did a line. I w. He probably did that. Put me on the clip.

[Unknown]

Hold on.

[Deontay Kyle]

My shoe didn't turn you inside out. I heard the feds turn the crib inside out Drop the roof Let them niggas see the inside out Fresh Prince jacket Boy, I cook you till it's inside go get a Glock 27 fit snug in the waistline Nigga be blacking out. No, first of all, both of them doing the internal, external rhyme scheme.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

And I've seen a lot of y' all say that. I said it first.

[Bartholomew]

Now, you did say it first, though. That's facts.

[Deontay Kyle]

Drop a bomb, Clue.

[Bartholomew]

Drop a bomb for saying it first.

[Deontay Kyle]

I said it first. Yeah, yeah. Y' all hip now? The day the album dropped, I said, I pulled over to say something about it.

[Bartholomew]

You had to stop the whip.

[Deontay Kyle]

I had to stop the whip. I stopped at a stop sign and put my hazards on.

[Bartholomew]

Sir, are you okay? Yeah, I'm good.

[Deontay Kyle]

I'm good, bro. Go around, go around. Bro, we gonna break down these bars. Niggas got my speakers on fire. I was like, are they doing an internal and an external rhyme scheme? The whole and then stuff got Say inside out.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Oh, inside in. Aha.

[Bartholomew]

It's all coming. It's all coming together.

[Deontay Kyle]

Oh, my gosh. These guys are amazing.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

So far ahead. Great.

[Bartholomew]

Great.

[Deontay Kyle]

How. How that? No, we get Pharrell in this singing bad.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Great. We love when Pharrell's in the singing bad. Some of those songs, it was like, all right. For real.

[Bartholomew]

I mean, it's for real, though.

[Deontay Kyle]

It's for real. So you can't even call it a low point because it's like, nigga, I made the beat. I can sing it.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bartholomew]

It's for real.

[Deontay Kyle]

First of all, I'm giving y' all some of the best beats you ever heard.

[Bartholomew]

Oh, cooking up some of the best, bro.

[Deontay Kyle]

Every beat was 10 out of 10. I mean, this is a great album. This is to me. Now, when blue lips dropped, I told everybody this is the album of the year. Right. It was February. Nobody believed me. By the end of December, no matter who had dropped, Blue Lips was in that conversation. Some people saying it was the album of the year. Some people giving it to Kendrick, some people giving it to Tyler. All fair. Yeah, but he was in the conversation.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Bartholomew]

And it's all west coast.

[Deontay Kyle]

It's all west coast. This is the album of the year. I mean, how do you top it?

[Bartholomew]

I think what's gonna happen? This is what I think will happen now. Beyonce been on tour. Jay Z been popping out, I think ho from the drop. Ho about the drop, son. He testing the waters. He testing the water, son. Atlanta did it.

[Deontay Kyle]

Hov might want to listen.

[Bartholomew]

Hov is about to drop.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, but I mean, he could. Nick might drop 888 shout out to hoe, man.

[Bartholomew]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

This is the album of the year. I, I. You know what? I did think that, though, because throughout Beyonce concert, he wasn't really popping out like that. Nah, nah. He been popping, popping out a lot.

[Bartholomew]

Little popping out.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

The wicks is long.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Bartholomew]

He didn't even pop out in. In New York.

[Deontay Kyle]

You did pop down in the hay.

[Bartholomew]

He popped in the hate twice.

[Deontay Kyle]

I don't know, man. That might be. Listen, Tyler dropping Raekwon just dropped the album.

[Bartholomew]

I listen to a little bit of it.

[Deontay Kyle]

I listen to a little bit of it. This shit sound crack the old heads.

[Bartholomew]

They rapping.

[Deontay Kyle]

I'm gonna keep it real. The OGs have found what y' all have been doing very disrespectful. And they saying, you know what? Fuck it. Let's just show them how this is done.

[Bartholomew]

I think that's that's rightfully so, though.

[Deontay Kyle]

Rightfully so. Because we don't want to hear fucking Travis Scott. Wibbly wobbly, wibbly wobbly.

[Bartholomew]

Well, I mean, Travis guy's not a rapper now.

[Deontay Kyle]

This is true.

[Bartholomew]

He's not a rapper.

[Deontay Kyle]

He's not a rapper. I don't know what he is.

[Bartholomew]

The Uzi vert is not a rapper.

[Deontay Kyle]

I don't know what they are. They're. Well, they by. By their own claim. They're rock stars.

[Bartholomew]

Well, I think we have to create a new genre for them.

[Deontay Kyle]

But disrespecting.

[Bartholomew]

The disrespect has to stop.

[Deontay Kyle]

Well, well, my, my thing is this. What's. What's, what's what's OG name that was on the Sean song?

[Bartholomew]

The Jamaican dude?

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah.

[Bartholomew]

I don't know his name, but I know you're talking about though.

[Deontay Kyle]

Well, I mean, the disrespect to him. Oh, it's like, bro. Yeah. Like first of all, he not. He wasn't just making noise, he was scatting. That's like a real. Yeah, that's like a musical thing.

[Bartholomew]

That's his thing. That's what he does.

[Deontay Kyle]

That's what he's known for. That's jazz. My. What are we talking about? And it also sounded fire. He didn't need autotune or nothing.

[Bartholomew]

That's his voice. That's him.

[Deontay Kyle]

He be hitting them notes, brother.

[Bartholomew]

That's what he's known for, you dig?

[Deontay Kyle]

So I think the disrespect of the OGs has to stop. Because the thing is. And the thing that the OGs that are rapping now always did is pay homage to the people that came before.

[Stephen Dingle]

Pay homage.

[Deontay Kyle]

Because the thing is, you don't exist without them. I don't care about the Internet. I don't care that you get big brand deals. I don't care about none of that. You can have more money. But the thing is, is they paved the way when there wasn't no money in hip hop and when they was trying to get rid of the shit, they still paved the way. And the disrespect, the using a sample that everybody's familiar with just so you don't have to put a lot of effort into the song. All that shit is corny and whack. It used to be to the sample. You gotta use the sample and make the song hard. Y' all basically just repurposing these hooks. This is basically just remixes.

[Bartholomew]

That's how they are.

[Deontay Kyle]

Piss poor ass remixes at that. Terrible, horrible, horrendous.

[Bartholomew]

They gotta start by doing their homework.

[Deontay Kyle]

Man, they not doing homework. And the OGs are showing y' all how to do it. Y' all talking about, oh, too much. Y' all shoving the clips down our throat. No, bro, this is where we come from. We come from real hip hop, where they would do a rollout. You go trl, you go bet. You go Vibe magazine, Source magazine, XXL magazine.

[Bartholomew]

I understand that.

[Deontay Kyle]

You watch, you will read interviews. Back when you was reading interviews, you had to be.

[Bartholomew]

What is it called?

[Deontay Kyle]

Literate. No.

[Bartholomew]

Critically acclaimed. The critic had to get the music, hear the music.

[Deontay Kyle]

Exactly.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Right. So. And listen, I would say this. The rollout is the aspect of this. You. We've gotten so used to people being so popular online and having all these followers, and I. I'm. I'm gonna tie this into Beyonce. But it's not Beyonce's fault. But I will say that she kind of laid the foundation for this. Of just a surprise drop.

[Stephen Dingle]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Because she's not online a lot. Anytime that she shows up, it's a. It's an event.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

And so dropping an album out the blue, that's a big deal. But now everybody feel like, oh, all I gotta do is announce it and then drop it. And you're not doing no promotion. And there has to be promotion outside of the. Outside of just social media. So look at what the clips do. They go to rap genius. They go to colors. They go to all the podcasts. All the hip hop podcasts. They don't sit down with no streamers.

[Bartholomew]

None.

[Deontay Kyle]

They don't sit down with no lames. They go to people that is genuinely hip hop fans, a part of the culture. Regardless of how you feel about them, they are a part of the culture. They don't go sit down with academic lame ass. They don't go sit down with the police, Adam 22 and Vlad. They don't go sit down with these corny ass stream niggas. Niggas like Neon. They don't go sit down with them. No. They go sit down with the people that's really other culture and have great interviews. And yeah, it get a little messy, but that's social media shit. And push. Don't push with his brother. He don't give a fuck. He talk shit about anybody right now.

[Bartholomew]

He don't care.

[Deontay Kyle]

He's happily. Then they do the tiny desk. Tiny desk. You run from the spirit of repossession. Hey, listen, don't talk to me like that, Jim Jones. Just pack that up. Yeah, just leave that man alone. Leave him alone, Jim. Because they asked malice like, would you ever get into a rap beef? He was like, what do you mean? He was like. Like, if somebody came at you, he's like, of course.

[Bartholomew]

They don't want.

[Deontay Kyle]

Leave him alone.

[Bartholomew]

Leave malice alone. First of all, what you mean?

[Deontay Kyle]

What you mean?

[Bartholomew]

What you mean, the rap beef?

[Deontay Kyle]

What you mean? He might be ready to blink one of y' all niggas down in the name of Jesus.

[Bartholomew]

He's 52.

[Deontay Kyle]

He's 52. He not finna squabble with you. You going to get popped. He never leaving home without his piece.

[Bartholomew]

That's why he said, what you mean?

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, that's why he said, what you mean? What you mean, a rap beef?

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

What Cuz, when was beefing? When I was coming up.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Somebody had to die. Somebody had to go, yeah, put your on a pro club. We got it for cheap.

[Bartholomew]

Got it for cheap. Ah, but now I think what they doing with going to all these. All these different interviews and podcasts, they taking the old school formula and mixed it with.

[Deontay Kyle]

Exactly.

[Bartholomew]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Instead of it being a radio.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

You go to the podcast.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

And. And. And all of these podcasts exist in different spaces. Right. This is why. This is the thing that people don't understand is like, you can't over saturate, per se, a space with. Where there's billions of people consuming millions of people. There's. There's hundreds of millions of people consuming podcasts. They're not all at the same one. Every podcast has its own audience because they like the way they. The message delivers. Same thing with over here. So the clip. So, you know, Malice Pusha, if you find it in your heart to do.

[Bartholomew]

One more interview, we got you.

[Deontay Kyle]

We ain't gonna bring up no. Unless y' all want to bring for real. Bring for real. I ain't even doing the interview. I'll be like, for real. You interview them.

[Bartholomew]

I'm in the back.

[Deontay Kyle]

I'm chilling back. I'm just hanging out. It's y' all podcast now. Ah, man. But I think this is a beautiful thing, man. This is. This is the way it should be done. Alfredo 2 finna drop. That's your boy, man. And I ran that 1995, like 10 times yesterday. And it's like, at first I was. So this is the thing. It's 1995. So when you put it, you naturally gonna put it next to 1985. And I did that at first, and I had to, like, stop and reset my brain because the beat so hard for 1985. But then I was like, well, this is still the Alchemist beat. Still gonna be hard.

[Bartholomew]

Still gonna be hard.

[Deontay Kyle]

Freddie killed that man. Then they had the short film gangster.

[Bartholomew]

That's your boy.

[Deontay Kyle]

You.

[G]

You.

[Bartholomew]

You're a big Freddie Gives fan.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Bartholomew]

Holl at your boy.

[Deontay Kyle]

Just come sit down. You ain't Al. Just come pull up.

[Stephen Dingle]

Hey.

[Deontay Kyle]

We is gonna be. Hello.

[Bartholomew]

We'll talk about that.

[Deontay Kyle]

We'll talk about that. All right, here we go. Let's get into it. All right. So there's a video that came out. Yeah. I mean, was with his child, and they hopped out to rob him. Dog ran and left his child. Now, different things have come out about that video, that it may be staged. They did it for some GoFundMe money, something like that. I heard that too. But optically, if you hop out and I got my child with me, you gotta kill me. Just is what it is. I'm a die there. Yeah. I'm not running. No, you gonna have to do what you gotta do. My first priority is my child. Fuck you. Fuck you and that gun. Kill me. Do it. Do it now.

[Bartholomew]

Push the goddamn button.

[Deontay Kyle]

Real shit, though. I'm not gonna get into the space of disparaging because fear makes people react different ways. Fight or flight is a real thing. And everybody can speak to what they would have done. But it got me thinking about this thing that he was in a space where he didn't have enough time to think. He had to react. And his reaction was to run. And that reaction, in turn has him being heavily criticized. But his brain is a flight. He has a flight brain Fight, flight, Fight or freeze. And then people go to say, well, a mother would never do that. That is true.

[Bartholomew]

I believe that.

[Deontay Kyle]

I believe that mom dude's gonna die. She might run up on them and they got the gun just because the baby bear. And we see that in nature.

[Bartholomew]

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

[Deontay Kyle]

You see a lot of. A lot of people get attacked in nature by animals because they too close to them animals, babies too close to the mom and bear babies. You gotta die. You gotta go, oh, you put my. You put my seeds in danger. You gotta go.

[Bartholomew]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

But this is completely unrelated. It just got me thinking. You know, I was just sitting there. I try to take things and digest them for myself. And I got caught up on that thing about. He didn't have any time to think. He just had to react. And so, remember a few weeks ago, I was talking to 19 Keys and then I was talking to the homie, Kimber, shout out To Kim BAE X. And we was talking about how, like Americans, the one thing that we do have in common is grief, where we are united in grief. The through line being us facing an overt fascism, increased racism in this late stage capitalism, environmental racism, something we talked about previously. It seems like in the minds of the powers that be, the only way to advance humanity is to destroy nature, right? But we're united in grief, and sometimes we don't have any time to think. And when we're hit with information, like the stances that I may take about things, the perspective shifting that we're doing, educated people stepping up and speaking their piece and giving you a new and a fresh perspective on things may be a little frustrating to you because you haven't had time to think, you haven't had time to process. And a big part of not being able to process is not only just the capitalism part, where all of your time is dedicated to working and paying bills, but a bigger part of it is the fact that we are united in grief. What are the five stages of grief? Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. When we're seeing people online, you have to figure out which label you're getting from them. Is this label of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, or acceptance. We see it all the time and we only pay attention to the anger, but we don't pay attention to the denial, which is stage one. So this idea of being these people that are constant contrarians, right? They live their entire life online and they only want to take opposing views from what is the more popular or progressive way of thinking. You see this with MAGA denial, this aspect of this thing, not only with the Internet, and I'll get to black people specifically in a second. But not only with the Internet, but just with historically, you think about a family that grew up in the late 60s, early 70s, they're passing that grief along, right? Because they seen their president get assassinated, they seen another president just quit, they seen a celebrity get put in office, so now they feel like politics is a clown show. We get terrorist attacks, we get the first school shooting, Columbine, first publicized school shooting. And the way that those things have ramped up in our lifetime as millennials, the millennial is in a constant state of grief, constant state of denial, anger, and bargaining. Now, when you don't have time to think, then you have to go to a space of comfort. Like that's what we use. A lot of people use the Internet for a space of comfort. I'm just here to be entertained. A part of some people's Entertainment is enraging others. We're creating rage bait just to piss people off because we don't know where people are in their day to day. But they may not be having a lot of human interaction. And sometimes the only human interaction people have are at these jobs. But given that we live in this late stage capitalism and we're facing overt fascism, the increased prices of everything, you know, the stagnation in wages, the politics behind employment, the politics behind women's bodily autonomy, the politics behind affects you. You get on social media and there's all these causes to fight constantly. You know, there is the aspect of the economy where things are getting. The pressure is being put on poor people more and more every day. The pressure is being put on people that were used to be would be good as middle class citizens. The pressure's being put on them every day. And the aspiration is to be rich so you can avoid it all. When they say money don't buy happiness, they may be right in a moral sense, but money does make things easier. And that's why the rich keep getting richer. They know that they don't live in a state of grief. When you're in a state of grief, you're always on the defense, you're always reacting. It's very hard to have time to be proactive while meanwhile they're always on the offense. They're always giving us something to be defensive about. I think the thing for me and the thing for young people to realize is that these stages that you're going through in life are stages of grief. You're in a stage of denial. This is the cognitive dissonance that comes with unlearning the church, unlearning the ways of your parents. Once you go off to college and you get in this space of freedom of thought, the first stage is denial. You get into denial about was I raised right or wrong? You know, do I really hold these beliefs? And what's the fear that I'm experiencing about moving on from these beliefs, feeling like your parents are liars or that you've been controlled, it brings anger. And we see this with black people, specifically this bargaining. We see this with people of color in general, bargaining with white supremacy. You invited to the cookout, that's a bargain. Please see me as a human. Yeah, you got a little rhythm. You invited to the cookout. Then it, then it starts to cycle again. So the black person that may have been in the depression or the acceptance phase see you bargaining. Now they're back in the angry phase. But the country in itself, MAGA specifically, haven't begun bargaining or being depressed, and they're damn not even. So we're nowhere near close to being accepted. They are stuck in denial and anger, those first two stages. And you see it play out every day. And instead of processing that and seeing where they sit, they'll say, well, this isn't what I voted for. Now the cycle starts over again. When. When they did vote for it, right, they were in a state. State of anger. And. And they were beginning to be in the stages of bargaining. Well, okay, you get rid of the Mexicans. That'll make my life better. Okay, cool. Oh, it's illegal immigrants. You just. You trying to bargain with yourself. Cause you don't really believe it, and there's no factual backing, but you holding onto this idea of the. The. The. The make America great again. You. You holding onto this idea of what this country used to be, and what that is, is complete and total rule for white men. The patriarchy aspect of it has always been existent. But the supremacy, you know, I can go. I can say, you know. You know, you can't say nothing no more. Everybody's so sensitive, you know, you can't do nothing no more. You know, the most targeted person in America is a white man. Bargaining. You bargaining with yourself, and you in denial about the situation. These are stages of grief that you find people in. I got really, really fixated on this. But. But a big part of it, when we talk about the fascism aspect is what we see happening with MAGA all the time. Oh, I didn't vote for this. That's denial. You did vote for it. You know, you voted for it, right? And instead of being angry with the regime or with the. With the party or with the president or whatever, instead of being angry with the system and pointing the anger and directing it towards the system, they still point the anger and direct it towards where the system tells them to. So now the issue is illegal. Illegal immigrants, illegal aliens. Come here the right way. Well, on a boat like y' all come here as pilgrims. That's the right way. Wipe out the whole population, give them smallpox, break treaties. That's the right way. That's how you got here. Enslaved people. That's how you got here. That's the right way. Come here the right way. If you ain't come here to kill, you don't want to be here. They don't listen to what they say. They just say it. They just say and they repeat it and they regurgitate it because they're in A state of grief. They feel like their country's being taken away from because they can't just be overtly racist anymore because. Because they don't feel like they're in power. And the thing is, for these supremacists is the biggest fear for them is an equal playing field. Because when the only thing you've ever had to do was just be white makes you bleak. It makes you below average. You don't even got to be smart, just white. Now, you don't know how to read. You believe anything you see. You believe everything you hear, and you regurgitate it as if it's a fact. Then when people approach you with facts, since you haven't taken any time to think, you reject it. And you feel insulted by the facts because it doesn't align with what your beliefs are. But you've been accepting all these beliefs out of denial and out of anger. I understand for anybody that it can be difficult to find the depth. The depth in my messaging and the messaging of people are like me. People that are really, at the end of the day, are looking to be liberated, to liberate our minds first and foremost for our community. That's my aim, liberation of black people first and foremost. But as an American, I would love to see us all experience equality and freedom. But I just understand that the majority of y' all are cool with that as long as we don't get to enjoy the fruits of that labor. It's liberty and justice for all. Except those niggas. I don't know about that. I don't know if that's. That's not the America I know. That's not the America I love. So as much as the black American and other people of color would love to see the peace and equality, equality and opportunity, the inequality, the equality in treatment, those of us that have gotten to a space of acceptance understand that that's not the reality. And I can't bargain with the reality. I have to accept the reality. And that's where a lot of people question, like, what books did you read? What this. And it's not always books. Sometimes it's looking at the reality and accepting it for what it is. I accept that there is countless groups of people in this country that hate me just because I'm black. And double it, because I'm an American. I don't have time to bargain with you about that. I don't have time to deny that that's your feeling. When you show me time and time again, it is. And I've sat Through my depression about it, I'm in a space of acceptance. I don't need to prove my humanity to anybody. And black people don't have to prove their humanity to anybody because black people are in a constant state of grief. The numerous and continual atrocities reset that grief every time. Learning about your history will put you in a state of grief. Learning about it, seeing Trayvon Martin, then Tamir Rice, then Alton Sterling, then Philando Castile, then Eric Garner, then Breonna Taylor and what's the lady named? Sandra Bland. Continually seeing that resets the cycle of grief. Because it's lost. That's what the grieving process is. You're grieving something that you lost and you see something in you. You see something in you in all those people. You see your auntie, your cousin, you see your mama, you see your daddy, you see your nephew, you see your niece, you see your brother and your sister and all these people. And every time you see one of them taken down by this system, it resets that cycle of grief. And where do we go to? We don't have time for denial no more. We can't deny it. We go straight back to anger. And it's very reasonable for us to be angry. If you look at the atrocities and we go back to this, that we talked about, this environmental racism and how they're using AI and they're creating all these AI videos and putting black avatars in these random situations that reinforce harmful and negative stereotypes about us. You could use AI for whatever you want to use it for, but your fucking racist ass, pea brain ass mind goes straight to let me create a situation using, using. Using the earth's water, using our fresh. Let me waste some more of our fresh drinking water. To reinforce negative stereotypes about black people in the spider verse. I don't even know what to call AI. I don't even know what that universe is that that shit lives in it's its own universe at this point. And y' all are filling that universe up already on the onset with fucking racism. Oh, this technology could change the world. It's a supercomputer. It's a self learning computer. Oh man, what a great advancement for humanity. I got an idea. How about we use this technological advancement to continue to push harmful and negative stereotypes about black people. Guys, we fucking did it. Yeah, man, we figured out how to use AI Anger. You're in a state of grief. I accept it. We always know it's coming because we accept it. I'm not bargaining, not bargaining with these crackers, not bargaining with Nobody. I'm gonna say how I say. I'm gonna say what I want to say. I'm gonna say how I feel. Making the distinction about being a black American does not align me with the fba. I just accept that this is my reality. I don't gotta be a part of a group for it to be my reality. Especially when I mention numerous the times that colonialism is a playbook. And no matter where you from, if you black, you probably experience the same thing. And if we talk about our history, we're gonna see a lot of overlap there. There is no real reason for us to be beefing with each other. The beef comes in when you come over here bargaining, trying to bargain away your blackness by putting us down, to separate yourself from us because you don't want to be black. But when you touch down in America, that's what it is. But it's a state of grief. You know what you're running from and you know what you're running towards. You running towards opportunity. And the opportunity that presents itself requires you to assimilate into whiteness in your mind. Black Americans show you every day that ain't the truth. Global culture, 13% of this population, this ain't even the largest country in the world. Fairly small compared to some countries. 13% of that population is a global presence in music, culture, style and influence, engineering, invention, things that have changed the entire world. Real technological advancements that didn't have to destroy humanity to do it. But you reasoning we have to reason with these people right now. Black people in a constant state of grief, reasoning, living, empathizing and being raised by a group of traumatized people will fuck you up. Fuck you up. Fuck up. How you feel about your people because you don't consider them to be in a state of grief. You just think they are fucked up as individual. Well, which space do you see them occupy? Denial, anger, depression. Do you see them bargaining? Have you ever seen them in a state of acceptance? Once people accept, they move on. Now the grief may come back, but the person that has went through and fully lived out these stages of grief. That's why I would call my 20s. My 20s was a state of grief. Tried to bargain with drugs to replace my reality. I stayed in denial about addiction. I stayed in denial about self sabotaging. I stayed in denial about people pleasing, stay in denial about stifling my own potential. And constantly in states of depression. Constantly in states of anger. And I've said it time and time again until I accepted who I was and where I was in life. I didn't get more. As soon as I accepted it, everything took off. But it hasn't been said. We only hear it in songs. We're united in grief. Black people are united in grief. We are in a constant state of grief. An effort in execution of weaponizing the word victim makes it uncomfortable, polarizing and exhausting for black people to be honest about our experiences. You could. You can have video footage. Black person minding their business. Police approach them wrong for identity. Beat the fuck out of them. Black person go out and tell that story. Y' all just being a victim, nigga. It happened. There are villains and there are victims. And if we want to be honest about being constant victims of these atrocities that this country has raised against us because we don't want to, because of way they weaponize it and make you seem weak, then it'll make you uncomfortable with talking about the reality of the situation. And it's going to keep you in a state of grief because now you in denial. Now you're back at stage one. You don't even want to be a victim. Oh, I ain't no fucking victim. I'm a man. I ain't no victim. I'm independent, strong, black woman. Denial. You don't like the way the word sounds, who gives a fuck? Is it the reality or not? If I go stab somebody right now, are they a victim of a stabbing? Yes, absolutely they are. They. These niggas stab us all the time. Be like, what you gonna do? Play the victim? Nah, hell no. I ain't no motherfucking victim. Now you trying to patch up your own wounds. Wounds you ain't create. Now you're trying to bargain. Well, please don't stab me. You know I'm a human being, right? I'm not 3/5 of a man. Social colloquialisms exist. Black is a thing. It's a real thing. Black means deaf. Black means. Black mean whatever the fuck you want it to mean. All words is made up, every last one of them, and applied colloquially. Remember when AAVE was called Ebonics? We don't call that shit Ebonics no more, do we? We call it aav. We found a word to replace ebonics because of the harmful stereotype that it would put on how black people talk. So we. So we recognized it as a language. Words are ever evolving, and the meanings of those words are ever evolving. But if we're not honest about our experiences because we fear being seen as a victim, then we won't have progress. And also for you niggas that's gonna listen to this and be like, well, I'm done talking. I'm doing enough talking. Hey, go do something. It's always the people that's tired of hearing people talk that ain't doing shit. Communication can save nation. If we don't communicate our feelings, you won't understand what overlaps we have. That's how you kill the idea of a diaspora war. You speak about your experiences. So when we start to see the overlap and we see we got a lot more in common then we do differences and who fed us the differences. I was sold a bad image of you. You were sold a bad image of me. It just so happens that even though the system perpetuated the idea of your parents, you got a message from your parents. And you trust your parents and you believe your parents, and you should. But your parents ain't gonna get everything right. And you have to trust your experiences over their word. Especially if you want to see any progress in this country or in your life at all. You can't tell me the sky ain't blue if I go outside and look at it every day. And that motherfucker blue. Don't really matter what the fuck you believe, because you gonna tell me my eyes lying. All right, this is the last thing I'm going to speak on when it comes to the state of grief that we're in. And it's a heavy topic, and we've discussed it before, but this is a trigger warning. We have to talk about our community and the cycle of sexual assault and rape and the effect that it has on dividing us. I've spoken about my situation, which allow other men to come forth and speak about their situations. Right? But for every person that does speak about it, somebody doesn't. And before they get to speak about it, did they act on it? Because what do we know to be true about trauma from those who don't destroy themselves, they will destroy others. Some people choose to take their trauma and destroy themselves. Some people choose to take their trauma and destroy others. That's what the cycle is. It happened to me. I'm gonna do it to you. It happened to a child, and I've spoken about this. It happened to the girl that did it to me. It happened to her. That's how she got exposed to it. That's what tripped that wire in her brain. That's what that fucked up her brain chemistry. And then she came along. Fucked up my brain chemistry. Now, luckily for me, I didn't go forth and fuck up Somebody else. Because of that, I may have fucked myself. I may have fucked myself over plenty of times. This is where the cycle of my self sabotaging and my doubt came from. Because something happened to me that I haven't discussed and I haven't accepted. And for a long time I denied it. For a long time I was angry about it, depressed about it, bargained with it. I didn't accept. Took for me to be vocal about it and be honest about it, for me to accept it. And I did that long before I said anything about it on here. But we have to talk about it because that's a big one. It's a big. We don't want to be victims. But you can trace it back to our enslavement in this country and rape and sexual assault being used as a punishment. Rape and sexual assault keep you in a constant state of fear. Rape and sexual assault keeping you in a constant state of grief. Your mother mourning your innocence, knowing what can happen to you. You mourning your innocence, knowing that it's happened to you. You being angry about it. So now I'm gonna do it to somebody else. Black men are often painted as the weird uncle. And the weird uncle is a very real thing. And that nigga gotta get checked because he's destroyed a lot of lives. And those, and those lives take on lives of their own and go on to destroy other people. And we gotta talk about you weird ass fucking aunties too. Fucking these little boys and little girls. It's a dynamic and it's a vicious cycle. It happened to me, I'm going to do it to somebody else or it happened to me, I'm going to destroy myself. There's no consequences for the person that did it to me. Scared to say something about it in case y' all don't believe me. And it exonerates him or her. And they continue to do it and, and, and the more that they do it. It's a compound, it's an infectious thing. It's a disease. And it will become an epidemic. And if we're not honest about it, though, it is hard to talk about. We're going to stay in a state of grief around sexuality. Why you think black people are seen as so hypersexual? Motherfucker got touched on when they was 8. They supposed to be thinking about Spider man and Superman. They think about ass and titties because it's been introduced to them before their brain was even ready. Brain didn't even naturally go to it yet. We're all going to get to a sexual. We're all going to get to our sexuality eventually. That's a process of life. That's why we're here. Great Architect knows there's a time and a place for everything. That's what puberty is for. But how many prepubescent boys and girls are being exposed to these ideas, to these experiences, before their brain can even wrap their mind around it? And now that's the sole focus. And what are we doing as victims of these. As people that are victims of sexual assault, as people that are victims of rape, both presently and historically, from outside of our community and perpetuating it in our community? What are we doing to first of all, execute. Execute the people who perpetuate the behavior, hold them accountable and protect these fucking babies. Because hurt people, hurt people. You could describe the black community as hurt people, hurt people in some instances. And as much love as we have for one another, and as creative as we are, and as much as we share one another, as much as we would give each other the clothes off our back, that deep seated hatred probably comes from this cycle. A lot of people have been in a state of grief since they were a child because of this cycle. And this is the ugly part that we don't like to talk about. Why can't you trust black people? Well, what did he or she do to you? They violated you. When you was a child, you love somebody and they violated you. They in line between love and hate. And if the person that loves you, the person that's supposed to protect you, the person you thought was safe was, violates you in that way that puts you in a state of grief, you will hate them. You're gonna hate everybody that looks like them. I could bet my bottom dollar a lot of black men's anger and hatred towards women stems from sexual assault. And whether it was perpetuated by a man or a woman, maybe they mama, their auntie, their grandma, somebody knew and didn't protect them and didn't call out the motherfucker that did it to them. Same thing goes for black girls. This is the thing. We gonna sweep anything out from underneath that fucking rug. It's this shit. Cause there ain't no way to walk around and be healed with that shit looming in the back of your mind and informing you about every black person that you come across. Even as a black person, you have to go through your stages of grief. We got a lot more shit. We got a lot more shit and we got a long way to go. But this our public enemy number One, because this is destroying our babies. This is informing. This is informing prepubescent children about who their community is, who their protector is, and what that community looks like and what love looks like from a very young age. And it's throwing people off of their natural course. And then you over sexualize the children probably because it happened to you. You call little girls fast. You're not being honest about it. They not fast. These niggas be raping and sexually assaulting these little girls. And I'm trying to protect her. But the only way I know to protect you is to shame you. Because it happened to me. Because it happened to you. If we're going to sweep anything out from underneath that rug, it got to be this cycle. And until we are honest about it, until, until, and until the people who perpetuate it and are the villains who create all these fucking victims are held to account for it, we ain't gonna heal. Because that's a big one. Dare I say it's bigger than white supremacy, because that's a fallacy. This is very real. I can accept that white people don't like me. I can accept them being racist. I can accept the system that they put up against me. And I have the historical facts, I have the lived experience, I have the present day facts too. But this thing, this is looming. It's in the back of your head all the time. It's keeping you in a state of grief. And it's time to stop protecting the people that perpetuate this vile ass behavior. And it's time to stop blaming the victims of this behavior, Empathizing with them, loving them, listening to them and understanding them. We're gonna get to these emails when we come back. We back, we back. Let's get into some of these voicemails. Oh.

[J Squared]

Yo, Beyonce, Kyle, big Ice Cup Cat, what's going on, man? Hope y' all boys doing good first and foremost. Love what y' all doing with the podcast, you know what I'm saying? Y' all really doing y' all thing for the community and just really for everybody, bro. So I really appreciate y', all, you know what I'm saying? And big up, big up to deontay for showing out for the light skinned. Sometimes it's hard out here, you know what I'm saying? All right, let me get to my point. So I'm 22 years old, man, and I'm truck driver now. And it's cool, it's move. I like it. It's the only issue I have is, you know I work night shift, and that shit can get real tiring. And then it also affects me because then I'm also like, damn. Like, I don't. I'm not really living. That's what it feels like, at least. You know what I'm saying? It just feels like everything's kind of mundane. I just want to have the time to kind of do shit. I'm trying to get on today, but these motherfuckers on dick, man. But I've also been considering, like, getting into another trade. I've been thinking about getting into electrician. I'm like, welding. I just wanted to get your perspective and, like, if you think it's worth it, like me dugging it out and trying to get a day.

[Deontay Kyle]

Or just.

[J Squared]

Kind of venturing out to a new path and seeing what I like more, you know, Because I think that's really why I'm at with it. And I like truck driving, but it's kind of a, you know, if he situation, you know, just let me know what you think. Appreciate you. Appreciate y' all for what y' all doing and, you know, love, man. Keep doing what you're doing.

[Deontay Kyle]

Well, we appreciate you too, brother. Here's the thing. If you don't have anything tying you down, if you don't got no kids, you don't got no family, I would say make a plan. If you want to get into electrician to be an electrician, make a plan. Live low. Give yourself a year. This is how. This is how you have to formulate your goals. You have to use timestamps and timelines. Just jumping out of something and jumping into another thing ain't gonna be fruitful or beneficial for you. It's very hasty. You got time. You have a trade, you're making money. The road is rough. It's rough on that road. It's rough on you mentally. It's rough on you physically. And it does feel like an extremely isolated situation. But you have to be in a space where you're reminding yourself of what the bigger picture is. If you don't have a bigger picture, then it is gonna tear you apart. So if the goal is to get into being an electrician, which I would suggest, we need electricians right now. And I also think that it's good, especially in just position to truck driving, because. Because it's a more of a physical activity, you'll be able to move around. You'll be around a lot more people in these processes. And when you're doing your job, give yourself a year. Stack up your Money. Understand that you're gonna have to live off of that stacked up income for a little while. Be inquiring about apprenticeships and entry level jobs, jobs that offer training, schools that offer training. Find the best one for you. If you are single and you don't have any kids, I would suggest getting with a union because they're going to pay the best and you're going to also get the real hands on experience from the ground up. And before you go and get you a more of commercial or local electrician job. It'll give you the experience where you can come in and make money, but also to give you another opportunity to stack your bread up. So take you a year, stack it up, find a situation that's best for you in the new direction and then go forth with it. But you're doing fine right now. You know what I'm saying? You already ahead of the game. You got something that's making you some good money. But I also understand the cons of that lifestyle more than anybody. But you got this shit. Keep going. You got anything for him, Big Cat?

[Bartholomew]

It's not even that. It's the nights. He's 22. He's tired of being up there at night. He ain't living.

[Deontay Kyle]

Oh, yeah, it's 2022. Yeah.

[Bartholomew]

And he's like, man, I'm on the night shift.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Bartholomew]

I'm driving trucks. All my homeboys at the club, I'm on this goddamn truck.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

So I'm keep it real with you, bro. Partying is partying.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

At any stage of your life. It seems like it may be funner when you're younger just because you don't have any responsibilities, but you're going to have the same. The club is the same at 22 as it is at 32. It's just liquor and music. That's really liquor music. Standing around looking at each other. Ain't nobody in that having fun. Everybody in there trying to flex.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

So you young, you got a lot of life to live. And without the responsibilities and with your youth on your side, I would say make sure you're taking care of your health while you out there on that road. Stack up your bread for a year and move on to a different direction.

[G]

Man.

[H]

What up though? Grits and eggs Podcast. Shout out to the guy, Deontay, Kyle and my man, Big Ice Cup. Come on now, y'. All, y' all making happen. And I'm so grateful to be in this incarnation of life, seeing you guys do y' all thing. My name is J Squared. I love J squared on Instagram, TikTok.

[Deontay Kyle]

And all that stuff.

[H]

And I wanted to say thank you Graced, xpies, Deontay, Kyle, all y', all, for helping me proceed in my literary journey with the Atwater Company on Substack. And it's. I have so many different ideas just growing in that. And, you know, it's like I just got laid off of my job and everything like that. So it's kind of like I'm kind of full speed ahead on this creative thing, and it just feels like a renaissance almost. And you said something really important on. I forget what episode it was, but where you were talking about how important it is for you to be a leader in this space when it comes down to black folk. But it's also even more important to have more leaders. So that way, you know, other people are, you know, if you. Like you said, if you. You know, you cut the head. That's the whole thing. And so I had some. I had two things that I wanted to share.

[Deontay Kyle]

Could you please.

[H]

Could both of y' all, please, just a whole team bucket, like both of y' all just talk about the importance of black creativity and. And just why it's important that we need more black creatives that challenge the status quo, especially right now in the world when everything feels like it's a valid excuse not to do creative things if you can.

[Deontay Kyle]

Y', all.

[H]

I appreciate everything. Very grateful for y', all, man. I'm gonna keep on writing and, yeah, try to be more consistent. Obviously, the.

[Deontay Kyle]

I really need that just because, you.

[H]

Know, you know how the world be. Like I said, niggas just got laid off.

[Deontay Kyle]

Shit crazy.

[H]

You know, Detroit don't really got no advertising scene like that out here, so you know how I go. But, hey, I appreciate y', all, man. Shout out to everybody in the team and black power.

[Deontay Kyle]

We appreciate you, bro. Creativity has saved me from ending it all several times, especially when I was younger. You need something to keep your mind busy. Your mind will yearn to not only problem solve, but to create. Black people have always been extremely creative. Historically, before. Before America, before any of this, we were creating, and we're going to continue to create due to capitalism and, And. And, you know, it being a very rigid thing. It doesn't seem cost effective or beneficial to create, to be in the space of art. But art is literally advertisement in some aspects. That. That is a. That is one application of art that. That does have, like, immediate monetary value, but also, you know, art is meant to be revolutionary as well. It is meant to critique the state of the world, the state of the world that you live in. And if you're honest with your art, it'll be a direct reflection of your worldview and the challenges that come with challenging the status quo. Being black is political in this country and globally because they've made it political, because there's always a microscope on us, because for whatever reason, we're the ones that are chosen to be downtrodden and constantly disenfranchised. So, yes, be creative in any way and whatever way that means to you. Have a creative expression, have an outlet, allow your mind to explore the wonders of creativity while also understanding that the benefits from it monetarily don't come often or up front. So hone in on your craft. And oftentimes it's good enough just to have a hobby. I think, you know, being a hobbyist is a great thing. Everything doesn't have to turn into commerce. Everything doesn't have to turn into a job or a career. But there's a lot of people out here who knit just for fun, who paint and do art just for fun. And by building an online presence, have been able to create a. An extra stream of income. But art will give you art and creativity in general gives you something to look forward to when you are going through those mundane things in life. So, you know, good luck to you finding some employment. Big cat, what you got?

[Bartholomew]

No, just do what you love. Find something that you love to do. Create.

[Deontay Kyle]

Real spill, brother.

[G]

Yo, Deontay, Big ice cup. Yes, sir. Shout out to Suki. And again, everybody behind the scenes to thank y' all for bringing us such a great production. This helps me get through it and helps me raise my consciousness because I'm a very, you know, spiritual and high conscious person even at such a young age. And, you know, as you continue to explain these parts about the past 40 years in the crack epidemic is the more that I can actually understand what is the. You know, because I'm a big picture thinker, but it's hard to grind in between that. So thank you for that. I wanted to share a thought with y', all, which was basically, just think about this. I don't feel like other cultures as much. I mean, obviously I can't speak for other cultures, but as black people, we have cultural stamps in time where we are all the same, like under the same umbrella type stuff. And the only people who weren't is the people who are under this idea of black excellence, the people who could conform but still perform, you know, what I'm saying. So I'm thinking that it's crazy that we have people who are like, you know, against black people and talking like, why don't they have a up in the world? But you have to think about there are stamps in time like slavery and civil rights and stuff under. We are all under the same umbrella at that point. You know, people aren't making a decipherance and difference about who we are. So just some food for thought about the past 40 years. You know, black people are all just seen as black people by white people at the end of the day anyway. Thank you. Either real 23 years old.

[Deontay Kyle]

Thank you. Yo, man, I ain't got no notes for you.

[Bartholomew]

He did the notes.

[Deontay Kyle]

Doing the knowledge. We appreciate your support, bro. And your mind, especially as such a young man, having your mind in the right place, but also taking these concepts that we introduce or just these premises that we introduce and really exploring them for yourself and taking them on. As you see, I don't. I don't got no debate in me. I ain't got no notes for you, dog. Keep killing this. Keep growing. Keep learning. Keep doing the knowledge, brother. We appreciate you, man. We're gonna get into some of these emails and we're gonna get up out of here. My ex still wants to be friends. Oh, brother. Yo, grizzen eggs pie. Love the content. Guys, I'm gonna get to the point. 26. Bisexual man. I've known. I've been bisexual for a long time, but I've lied to my family about it and myself and my friends. The reason I start off saying that is because. Is that is because me lying and being scared of who I was has ended a great three year relationship I had with a great woman. It's not only. It's not the only reason my communication could have been. Oh, okay. It's not the only reason my communication could have been a lot better. But the shame and not accepting myself is the biggest part. 26. I was caught talking on the Grindr app a couple times. But she forgave me and told me she didn't care and accepted me, which kind of scared the fuck out of me because I didn't feel I truly could get that kind of love, even after fucking up. But then last year in November, we had to get an abortion. Afterwards, things were different between us. She didn't know what she wanted from me and I could tell that she had been off. But we never talked about the situation, so I guess our feelings festered. Things seem normal, but you could Feel that they weren't. So we just kept going with the motions, not talking about it. And in March, I stepped out and physically cheated. I planned on telling her, but she went through my phone and found out she forgave me. And after about a week or two of not talking, we got back together. Now in June, we went on a trip. I did something dumb and went through her phone. She's found someone else and said she's planning on telling me everything after the trip and that she wants to break up now. Here's my problem or the thing that had been fucking with me so much. We still stay together at my dad's house right now. She doesn't want to leave for another month. We still share a room. So I really don't even got space to heal from the breakup. I have to watch this beautiful woman I love get ready to go out for someone else. No, you don't. She still wants to be friends and in some capacity friends in some capacity. But I know once she leaves, there's a large chance I'll never see her again. So it's like, what's the point? I do love her and I don't want to lose her. But knowing she will be with another nigga and then coming back to the crib does hurt. But now I know how she was feeling when I did what I did. Also got in our first argument ever after about everything going on. And hearing her say if I would have been a girl. Hearing her say if I would have been a girl, she would have stayed killed me. If he would have been a girl, she would have stayed somebody.

[Bartholomew]

Did he cheated with another? Did he cheat with?

[Deontay Kyle]

I don't know. I don't know what they mean by that. But I can't change it now, so there's no point in room name on bad shit. I say that and I'm a still do it. It's a whole bunch of shit for real. I don't know what to do about being friends while I'm still fucked up or how you think things will be in the future. I still love her with all I got, but I know I got to let her go. What do y' all think? I think, okay, here's the thing. That relationship is over for sure. You don't need to be in a relationship. You're sneaking around about who you really are, and, you know, you trying to find a balance of, like, how you want to deal with women and how you want to deal with men. And that's an extremely, deeply personal thing that you can't take her through with you. And it seems like she's been extremely understanding and forgiving of you even after you cheated on her. So I think that you are punishing yourself by allowing her to stay there and going through that grief of her stepping out and being with another nigga and all that. But once the decision was made that she wants to break up and she want to go be with somebody else, she got to get out your presence, because I'm going to keep it real. That's going to go bad. That could go bad in several different ways. Also, she's kind of gloating and flaunting it in your face. That's just real. She may feel justified because of all the shit she put up with you. And you may feel justified in putting yourself through it because of all the things you put her through. And those things are totally understandable. I think there is a large chance that you're probably not gonna talk to her again when she leaves. And the new nigga that she with ain't gonna go for it.

[Bartholomew]

That's it.

[Deontay Kyle]

But the reality is, like, if y' all staying at your dad house, she gotta go. Yeah, like, come on, my. She gotta go. You. You don't have to subject yourself to that. And after a week or two, she didn't. She didn't gotta get that out her system. Okay? Both of y' all up in a relationship, you more than her. Her fuck ups are coming in response to your fuck ups, which she's gonna feel justified in. And I understand that way of thinking. But y' all gotta get from around each other. Y' all can't live together. Especially y' all live and y' all sleeping in the same bed. And then she going out being with another nigga and y' all relationship is over and y' all just buying out time until she can move out. That ain't it. That ain't it. Yeah, bro. I mean, that's a sticky situation. But you need to be honest about who you are, regardless of what I mean, this is a long road ahead for you because you are 26 and it's hard to come out with that type of information to your family. I don't know what type of family and friends you got, but if they really love you, then they're gonna accept you. And the dynamics will change a little bit because this is brand new information. But you have to live in your truth. If you don't live in your truth, you're gonna be in a constant state of denial. Denial, thus perpetuating that state of grief. See how it all ties back, brother. All right. We wish you the best, though. Yeah. But shorty gotta go.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

And she should wanna go.

[Bartholomew]

Yeah. You gotta be honest with yourself.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. Like, be real.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

It's over.

[Bartholomew]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

And you played a big part in that. That cheating shit. And that lying about your identity sheet. That'll cook any relationship. Because getting caught on Grindr.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

And then she cool. Like, she good. And then going and still cheating. Like.

[Bartholomew]

Yeah. You got caught twice.

[Deontay Kyle]

You don't want to be in that relationship, and you need to be honest about that. You want to explore your newfound identity, and that's okay. But you also not have to let her go. And you know, she doing. She, she, and she getting you back. That's really all that is pretty much. But her living with you and your dad after y' all broke up is a little. That's a little nutty.

[Bartholomew]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

If it was y' all own space, then y' all go to separate rooms and it's still gonna hurt that she gonna go out and be with a. But you go out and be with a nigga.

[Bartholomew]

Pretty much sums it up right there.

[Deontay Kyle]

Seeking career advice and direction.

[Bartholomew]

It looks pretty lengthy.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, that's very long. I don't. I'm not. I'm. I ain't. There we go. We have hour 33 minutes. We wrap this thing on up now. We were. We were high school. Okay. This. You know what? When it comes to the emails, I like that juicy shit.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bartholomew]

Like that messy shit over here.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah.

[Bartholomew]

More messy emails.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. We offer helping and making with your careers and all that, but bruh, send me some mess. Good way to wrap this thing on up. You know what I'm saying? We were high school sweethearts. Now he's out. Hey, Deontay, I love your content and the way you talk about your life with honesty and accountability. I'm dating someone who's also trying to rebuild at the prison and is doing the best he. And doing his best to stay out of the streets and stay focused. He has a kid with his ex, and it's been hard trying to understand where I fit in his life while he tries to balance fatherhood and his own healing. I guess I'm wondering from your experience, do you think a man can really start fresh in love while he's still deeply involved in the co parenting stage? Like, how do you emotionally separate from a past relationship with your child's mother from trying to build something new? I want to be supportive, but I don't want to play myself either. You seem like someone who's been through it and grown from it. Love to hear your take. Well, I. You know, here's the thing. If you're in a relationship with somebody, you got to ask yourself where you fit in their life. You ain't in a relationship with them facts. You know, they just tagging you. You just along for the ride.

[Bartholomew]

What happened? What?

[Deontay Kyle]

I want to ask a question, but I don't want to be disrespectful. Is there any. Do you have any options besides an ex convict?

[Bartholomew]

That's a valid crazy. That's a valid question.

[Deontay Kyle]

Is that crazy?

[Bartholomew]

It's not crazy at all.

[Deontay Kyle]

The just got out of prison. He's still co parenting and probably in love with his baby mama.

[Bartholomew]

Probably.

[Deontay Kyle]

So.

[Bartholomew]

She'S probably the address he had to use.

[Deontay Kyle]

Is this nigga, is he fucking you for somewhere to stay? Let's just be honest, keep it real. Does this probation officer know your address? Has to if his parole officer has your address. You're temporary anyway.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Big over his baby mama. Just done with him. Probably cuz he went to prison.

[Bartholomew]

Yeah, he up too many times.

[Deontay Kyle]

I hate telling grown people what to do, man. God damn it, man.

[Bartholomew]

Reality check.

[Deontay Kyle]

Asking me it. If you asking me. I'm trying. I'm in a relationship with a nigga and I'm trying to figure out where I fit in his life.

[Bartholomew]

Big red flag there.

[Deontay Kyle]

I think you have the answer. You don't fit in his life. You may just be somewhere for him to stay. Something for him to fuck on until he get his girl back. Till he get his family back. I'm not trying to get his family back.

[Bartholomew]

You going for the bullshit.

[Deontay Kyle]

You're going for the bullshit. And are there any options besides an ex convict? Are there you over here doing love at the lockup?

[Bartholomew]

Here we go.

[Deontay Kyle]

When niggas get out of prison, they need to go deal with the life that they had before they went in. Cause this parole officer got your address. He fucking you for somewhere to stay. Man, you a halfway house until that nigga get his family back. Stop playing yourself. I'd rather you go fuck a nigga that's turning the sign at construction sites slow. Stop.

[Bartholomew]

That's the direction she needs right now.

[Deontay Kyle]

You need to slow the fuck down and stop the bullshit. Jesus Christ, lady. That's my take.

[Bartholomew]

Not great.

[Deontay Kyle]

Take wrong with her.

[Bartholomew]

What do I fit in in his life?

[Deontay Kyle]

When in doubt, big headed out. Come over here. God damn. My man ain't never been to prison.

[Bartholomew]

Never.

[Deontay Kyle]

Trying to Figure out where I fit in his life.

[Bartholomew]

That's crazy.

[Deontay Kyle]

And you keeping him out of prison.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

You give him some life as an address.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Bartholomew]

He needed that very important piece of.

[Deontay Kyle]

Him getting out of prison. Goddamn. Gotta have employment. Gotta have someone to stop.

[Bartholomew]

Yeah, I got it. Bam.

[Deontay Kyle]

Got it. This stupid.

[Bartholomew]

We got one more.

[Deontay Kyle]

I don't. I want. I kind of lowkey. Want to find something messy again. I'm feeling good, baby. I'm feeling good, baby. Let me see advice. Let me type advice into the search forums.

[Bartholomew]

It was like that messy shit over here, baby. The end of the episode. About to get real ignorant.

[Deontay Kyle]

Oh, yeah. Here we go. Here we go. I'm trying to put me first.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah. Oh, there it is.

[Deontay Kyle]

That's what I like. Hey, Deontay and big lover boy Cat. So I need some advice navigating this obstacle. I'm 29. I've been with my partner for seven years. We just had our first kid in 2024 and plan to get married next year, 2026. I love my family that I've created, but I also love my career. With my trade as a medical assistant, I was able to work my way up at the company I work for and became a trainer for the charging system they use. For three years, I've traveled to different clinics spread over the northwest region to train. I'm almost at $30 an hour. Before I had my son, I would be gone on assignment at least one week out of every month in a different state. Rare to rare occasions. On rare occasions two times now since having my son, my partner says it's inconvenient and costly for me to be gone this month. I make pretty good money for me not to have a degree. I've worked my way up in this company, so I'm not trying to give up no time soon, our village steps in to help when we need it. He feels like I shouldn't be gone as long or as often because I have a kid now. How do I navigate this situation without giving up my career causing chaos? Thanks for the advice. If you want her to stay, you gonna have to step up your pay. Talking about you gone too much. We got a kid. Yeah, that's what you for, nigga.

[Bartholomew]

Yeah, nigga. I make 30 hours.

[Deontay Kyle]

I make 30 hour. How much you make?

[Bartholomew]

What are you doing?

[Deontay Kyle]

What's in your wallet.

[Bartholomew]

Girl? Samuel, right now.

[Deontay Kyle]

Wrong with this. Who gonna pay for the wedding? Is it gonna be you?

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Shorty gonna have to pay for the wedding. She make 30 an hour?

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

No degree. I think she should give that up. Stupid fool.

[Bartholomew]

She work real hard.

[Deontay Kyle]

Y' all got one kid. You know how easy it is take care of one kid?

[Bartholomew]

One kid.

[Deontay Kyle]

I got three. You know how easy it is to take care of one. Y' all got a village stepping in, man. You. You. You a dad.

[Bartholomew]

Yeah, you a dad. That's what you signed up for.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. You knew what it was when you signed up. When you got her pregnant, she was leaving the state once a week.

[Bartholomew]

Yeah, you already knew that.

[Deontay Kyle]

You already knew that.

[Bartholomew]

You thought that was gonna stop her?

[Deontay Kyle]

Thought it was gonna stop some shit? Nah, we getting money over here. Shorty got $30 an hour. No degree.

[Bartholomew]

What do you have?

[Deontay Kyle]

What's in your wallet, nigga?

[Bartholomew]

Yo, we ignorant.

[Deontay Kyle]

Real, though.

[Stephen Dingle]

That is real.

[Deontay Kyle]

Spill if you want her to stop doing the job or stay closer, knowing that she's gonna have to take. Take a pay cut. Can you supplement for that?

[Bartholomew]

No, but she. She enjoyed what she does, so she's not gonna stop.

[Deontay Kyle]

Don't stop what you're doing.

[Bartholomew]

Yeah, that she gets to travel.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, man. Yeah, I'll be a dad. Yeah, tighten that up. My change a diaper too.

[Bartholomew]

You be all right?

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, a year. A year it is. It's going to be easy smelling. Yeah, y' all going to get married.

[Bartholomew]

Oh, shorty made 30 hour.

[Deontay Kyle]

Damn. You want to have a good wedding or not? My shorty out here training people in the medical field. Essential job.

[Bartholomew]

You want to eat steak of peanuts.

[Deontay Kyle]

You want to do what? You want a peanut butter sandwich? My huh? What you on wrong with this? We got a kid now. Yeah, we.

[Bartholomew]

Yeah, we.

[Deontay Kyle]

You're a parent too?

[Stephen Dingle]

F. Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

It's like my girl. If Deanna was like, well, we do got kids, so you can't go over the road with the truck. Now how the fuck we gonna eat?

[Bartholomew]

How we gonna live?

[Deontay Kyle]

We got money out here. I ride dolo state to state.

[Bartholomew]

Shorty on a plane. Two times out the two times out the way.

[Deontay Kyle]

Get money, my nigga.

[Bartholomew]

He can't take it.

[Deontay Kyle]

Can't take it. He thinks somebody.

[Bartholomew]

Somebody wet ass out. That's what it is.

[Deontay Kyle]

That's all it is.

[Bartholomew]

He thinks like somebody giving it to.

[Deontay Kyle]

Him with the baby. You ever come to Atlanta, your fears will come true.

[Bartholomew]

He be looking at the baby sideways. This really my kid.

[Deontay Kyle]

Taking that fac.

[Bartholomew]

Your mama be gone too much.

[Deontay Kyle]

Ain't nobody in my family got a nose like that. Oh, hey, man, don't be out there. Don't be out there cheating on that man. That why she love it.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Got Me, a CEO train during the day, doctor ducking her down at night. Let me train you.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bartholomew]

Get you right.

[Deontay Kyle]

Give you some assistance. Yeah.

[Bartholomew]

Yeah. 30 hours. That's good living.

[Deontay Kyle]

Hey, man, it's late stage capitalism. You need that 30.

[Bartholomew]

Need that 30.

[Deontay Kyle]

So what you need to be trying to do is figure out how you can make 20 an hour and y' all make 50 an hour and your kid grow up straight.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

And. And if you are insecure. My. Have that. Come in and listen. Come in. Come in real quick. My. If you insecure, but just be honest. Just tell her you feel insecure.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

So she can reassure you. Can't reassure you. Only thing you talking about is the kid. You know that shit ain't got nothing to do with that kid.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

That's what you sign up for when you got her pregnant. To be a father.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Okay, so if this is about you being a father, what's the alternative? Her stay home more and be a mother while you go out and make $18 an hour on a fort lift? Stop playing with her. Cause she ain't got no degree. I know you ain't.

[Bartholomew]

He ain't got no degree.

[Deontay Kyle]

Just get it out the mud ass.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bartholomew]

She getting hugged though.

[Deontay Kyle]

Maybe, maybe. Maybe you needed to get it. Step your game up.

[Bartholomew]

Go be a pharmacy tech.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah.

[Bartholomew]

My go work in the hospital in that medical field. Put some scrubs on.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. My deep V on that scrub. All right.

[Bartholomew]

Show a little chest error.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, yeah. Little taco. Me the next scrub.

[Bartholomew]

Go be a phlebotomist.

[Deontay Kyle]

Have your girl train you.

[Bartholomew]

There you go.

[Deontay Kyle]

Now you finna get 30 an hour.

[Bartholomew]

Now you can travel.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. Now you out once a month on nurses. Yeah.

[Bartholomew]

Both of y' all just.

[Deontay Kyle]

All right.

[Bartholomew]

This is ignorant.

[Deontay Kyle]

Boy, I'm glad I found that last one.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was good.

[Deontay Kyle]

I needed that.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Really filled my cup.

[Stephen Dingle]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

All right, man. Deontayantechyle.com for all the music, the email submissions. 657234X for the call ins follow me at Grizzen X podcast on Instagram. Deontay Kyle is all my main pages Big Ice cupcat on all platforms. Vote for us Bia Shop coffee black. Buy the tickets to Atlanta Comic Con. Vote Stephen Dingle until next time. Take care of yourselves and take care of each other. Soul. Take them out. Soul. Yeah. They say without the proper labor, faith don't stand a chance. I put my faith in faith and stand on fertile land I planted seeds.

[Bartholomew]

Adeline deed turning the trees before rest.

[Deontay Kyle]

In peace teas get printed to me.

[Unknown]

Mom and dad, I'm growing at an alarming rate and clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim with low prices for school at Amazon. Hope that helps Amazon Spend less, smile more. Mom, dad, you should shop Amazon for back to school and save some money. See, I'm currently obsessed with superheroes and need all the superhero stuff. Superhero launch box, superhero backpack. But next year it'll be something else. Maybe dinosaurs. I don't know. I'm not a fortune teller, but I can tell you not to spend a few fortune and shop. Low prices for school on Amazon. K Good chat Amazon. Spend less, smile more.