From the Vault - Patreon Episode 20

Summary

Grits and Eggs Podcast

Host: Deante’ Kyle
Episode: From the Vault - Patreon Episode 20
Date: April 28, 2026

---

Episode Overview

In this raw, unfiltered solo episode, Deante’ Kyle holds court on all things pop culture, current events, conspiracies, and “whatever comes to mind.” With brief appearances and energy from co-hosts and guests, this Patreon episode delivers candid reflections, comedic banter, and deep dives into topics like Black journalism, voting rights, the commodification of love, personal growth through pain, and what it means to embrace both the light and shadow within. Listeners get a classic mix of Kyle’s humor and vulnerability, rap interludes, and iconic moments of personal storytelling.

---

Key Talking Points & Insights

Tour Announcements & Operations

• Deante’ Kyle shares live updates and excitement about his upcoming multi-city tour with co-host and guests discussing stops in Raleigh, Birmingham, Jacksonville, Charlotte, Nashville, and plans for future Southern and national expansions.
  • “You can get all those tickets on deontaycowell.com tour or just go to deontaycolle.com and hit the tab that says tour.” (04:00)
  • Reflection on early humble shows and the growth of their audience:
    • “Bruh, it was like 150 people at our first show, man...a lot of them folks didn't even know who the fuck we was when we pulled up.” (04:46)
• Addressing fans about city choices and analytics:
  • “We have to go where we know we'll be successful...it's an independent operation, brother. We working with what we got.” (70:28)

Current Events & Black Journalism Suppression

• Discussion about recent arrests of Black journalists (including Don Lemon) and voting rights suppression in Georgia:
  • “Among Don Lemon, there was Treherne Jean Cruz, Georgia Ford, and Jamel Lidell Lundy also were arrested as journalists, as people who are exercising their First Amendment right...all the journalists are Black.” (07:07)
  • “All of these are scare tactics targeted specifically at black people. They always try to suppress our right to vote and our access to voting.” (08:16)
  • Noting the broader political context:
    • “Minnesota is a blue state. Georgia is one of the swing states...they're going to start to notice a lot of other places are going to start becoming blue, too, that were typically red.” (10:30)

Voting, Rebellion, and Local Engagement

• Emphasizing the importance of voting and political engagement, especially on the local level, and why voter suppression persists:
  • “We are always gonna lead the charge in being the voice that is in rebellion to this establishment...this does nothing but activate black voices.” (09:07-13:38)
  • “I've never been a whole vote or die ass nigga. But I've also always exercised my right to vote because...if they was willing to kill people to stop them from voting, then it got a matter for something.” (12:44)
  • Memorable:
    • “If you regret the vote, then change the vote and go the other way with it. This is gonna be a big one, man.” (11:23)

Black Media, Culture, and New Music Mondays

• Promotion of Black music culture and the initiative to reclaim spaces and support rising artists:
  • “If you want black people to reclaim black culture—especially in the hip hop space—we are doing it. Not only are we giving opportunities to unsigned artists, independent artists...but we also are introducing y'all to hot buzzing artists. And we bringing rap city back with the rap session.” (16:33)
  • Name-drops emerging artists Nando STL, worldwide Eli, and underscores the importance of building a community platform.

Raw Life Reflections: Purpose, Pain, and Personal Evolution

• Deante’ shifts into a vulnerable, solo reflection on how pain and adversity shaped his sense of purpose:
  • On adoption, family, and personal drive:
    • “We start with being given away at birth...having that innate knowing that I was different from the people I was being raised by.” (24:23)
  • On early street life, addiction, and repeated encouragement from strangers:
    • “Even in the midst of that time, I was still like, you know, reading and shit like that...I met this girl in the fucking Barnes and Noble and she just told me that I would be a pastor.” (28:00—paraphrased segment)
  • The utility of “dark” traits:
    • “I’ve risked more for way less. These things people consider a risk now...this is like natural to be bold, to be forthright...transformation comes from embracing that quote, unquote evil.” (36:10)
  • On the value of honesty, growth, and accountability:
    • “The ability to put yourself in other people's shoes and see how your actions may be able to affect them...is how you grow.” (45:00)

Critique of Toxic Relationship Discourse and Healthy Connection

• Extended critique of “toxic experts” and relationship podcasts:
  • “All of the toxic relationship podcasts, the pot, the balloons, the love doctors and experts can gain fame and notoriety online because the cure that they sell is pessimism, paranoia, and oftentimes prostitution. This transactional idea of relationships, they reinforce and validate hurt and pain.” (48:40)
  • “If more people would be honest and vulnerable instead of acting impenetrable, wouldn’t fear connectivity...But what we can't do is take that feeling and make it fact and project that feeling onto the world and all these different people that you have not had experiences with.” (51:11, 56:34)
  • On commodification of love:
    • “They have commodified every aspect of our love, of our life...They've commodified love with selling fear around love, selling pessimism, selling paranoia, selling prostitution.” (56:34)

Embracing Both Darkness and Light

• On balance and danger as a component of progress:
  • “If you throw it all away, you become harmless more than anything else...there needs to be an element of danger in all of us. There needs to be an element of rebellion in all of us.” (35:00)
  • “We throw down all our ammo and then we tell the world, please stop engaging in war. That's not the world, bruh. The world engages in war and you need to be war ready in all aspects, but you also need to be open and you need to be willing to engage with the world from a place of love.” (70:28)

Building a New Blueprint & Intergenerational Reality

• Calls for millennials and Gen Z to reject outdated paradigms and forge their own path:
  • “The boomer world is over. The boomer blueprint doesn't exist for us, and that's why we're all so burnt out. But what we need to do is reclaim and create our own blueprint.” (71:50)
  • “I want to take advice from the person that's happy and they're my age...not somebody that's 60, 65, 70, trying to tell me, well, back in my day...it's not for me.” (73:00)

Community, Vulnerability & Closing Thoughts

• On reclaiming community and learning both honest reserve and vulnerability:
  • “We need to reclaim our love for one another. We need to reclaim the community...be willing to be the first to engage.” (71:00)
  • “Work your way up to a depth of connectivity...It's okay if I'm in class with, you know, like, this is my thing in high school. If I'm in class with this girl and I find her attractive on day one, I'm still gonna find her attractive on day 30, day 60, day 90. I'm not gonna be in a rush...Let things unfold.” (75:00)
  • Final challenge to the audience:
    • “Learn how to weaponize the aspects of your life that can be used as tools in engagement. Learn how to embrace the evil. Learn how to embrace the darkness of yourself because it's there for a reason.” (77:00)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “If you regret the vote, then change the vote and go the other way with it. This is gonna be a big one, man.” — Deante’ Kyle (11:23)
• “I've risked more for way less. So I feel like these things that people consider a risk now...it's natural to be bold, to be, you know, just very forthright.” — Deante’ Kyle (36:10)
• “All of the toxic relationship podcasts...the cure that they sell is pessimism, paranoia, and oftentimes prostitution.” (48:40)
• “We throw down all our ammo and then we tell the world, please stop engaging in war. That's not the world, bruh.” (70:28)
• “You can’t paint the whole as the truth...based on your experiences with a handful of people. What you must do is inquire within yourself about what's going on within you that attracts these type of people.” (48:40–50:00)
• “If you throw it all away, you become harmless more than anything else...an element of danger in all of us.” (35:00)
• “The boomer world is over. The boomer blueprint doesn’t exist for us, and that’s why we’re all so burnt out. But what we need to do is reclaim and create our own blueprint.” (71:50)

---

Musical & Poetry Moments

• Co-hosts and guests break out in freestyle raps and musical interludes, keeping the signature vibe. Notable moments include:
  • DJ Braille’s opening freestyle (01:19)
  • “Caught Up In The Rapture Of Love” cover — Big Cat (52:46)
  • Closing a capella poetry/rap addressing pain and survival in Black communities (85:08)

---

Important Timestamps

• [04:00] — Tour cities and ticket info
• [07:07] — Arrest of Black journalists including Don Lemon
• [09:07–13:38] — Voting rights discussion and the activation of Black voices
• [16:33] — New Music Monday and cultural reclamation
• [24:23–36:10] — Deep personal reflections on pain, crime, purpose, and transformation
• [48:40–56:34] — Extended critique on relationship podcasts, love commodification, and toxic culture
• [71:50–77:00] — Blueprint for younger generations & the case for embracing nuance

---

Final Words & Takeaway

Deante’ closes with an invitation to face the complexity of lived Black life, to build new traditions and blueprints, to reclaim connection and love—not just with society but within ourselves. He challenges listeners to integrate both shadow and light, to stay war-ready but soft enough to love, and to resist commodified, pessimistic narratives about love and community. The episode ends as it began: real, unfiltered, and uniquely Deante’—bridging past struggles with present growth, ever “caught up in the rapture” of living boldly.

---

For listeners:
This is an unflinchingly honest, deeply reflective, and at times hilarious look inside Black life, personal evolution, and what it means to show up—uncensored—against the static of a transactional world. If you want reminders to grow on your own terms, engage with your whole self, and keep it real (even when it gets messy), this is an episode to save and revisit.

Transcript

[Deontay Kyle]

Okay. Trapaholics, mixtapes, real trap shit

[Big Cat]

yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

DJ motherfucking Braille.

[DJ Braille]

Acting like you want some just cause you're fucked up but now you want her partner, partner. Papa dose and calamari pasta Prada do it. You should see my closet. Crocodile, alligator, chinchilla and Oscar. I don't need no bank cost. I only made the pilot $40,000 all in her just fuck a wallet. I didn't go to college but my money got a lot Wish I wish, I wish that Gucci let me make a profit. No, I will not do it, but that is not an option. Wish I wish, I wish that Gucci let me make a profit. No, I would not do it, but that is not an option. Do the troll mounted up you, you know how they open. You know how he open. How much troll smound it up. You know how he open. You know how he open. You know how he open. Old school mounted up. You know how they open. You know how he open. You know how he open. You know how he open. You know how these hos, B. Homie wanna be me. You know how these niggas is. This don't wanna f. You know how these bitches live. 64 inch waist, that's how I be my richest little 22 self with that grow up in the apartment I didn't have a picket fence, I didn't have a backyard. Now I got a Jaguar. I am a celebrity, but I don't want no caviar. Can I get some hot ones? Pen and peace for all of us. Shouting running through the crew. She down there bug all of us, all of us not ballers, baby, to me you just on the toss you up,

[Deontay Kyle]

Big cat. You know how these hoes be.

[Big Bank Black]

I don't. I don't know how the hoes.

[Co-host or Guest]

Because I'm muted.

[Deontay Kyle]

I'm muted.

[Co-host or Guest]

I'm muted.

[Deontay Kyle]

Hey, look, man, it's real quiet for me. We are back, brother.

[Co-host or Guest]

We back, baby.

[Deontay Kyle]

You know this is Patreon Episode 20.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

I am actively not paying too much attention because I'm getting together the links. Ah. For the tour.

[Co-host or Guest]

For the tour.

[Deontay Kyle]

Working while working, huh? Oh, we working while we working. Because the tickets for the tour are now live. They live now. Yeah. Now if you watching that, if you watching this, you a cousin.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

So you should have already grabbed your tickets with that pre sale. A lot of people converted. Yeah, man, A lot of cousins come on over.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Because they're trying to get them tickets early.

[Big Bank Black]

Meet and greet early.

[Co-host or Guest]

I know somebody come from California to Raleigh.

[Deontay Kyle]

They could have just waited with me and Cali, but I appreciate the love and enthusiasm.

[Co-host or Guest]

They coming?

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, they pulling up, man. We got Raleigh, March 22nd.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Good night's comedy club. Yeah.

[Co-host or Guest]

First show. First show, North Carolina.

[Deontay Kyle]

Hey, I'm going back home with it, man. I'm going home with it, man. That's where my adoption records is in Raleigh.

[Co-host or Guest]

Matter of fact, we had the adoption records on stage.

[Deontay Kyle]

We gonna bring them. We're gonna bring the records out. We're gonna put it up on the big screen.

[Big Bank Black]

This is what's happening.

[Deontay Kyle]

These the. That gave me up. These are people right here, son. Stardome, Birmingham, Alabama, April 1st.

[Co-host or Guest]

That's the second show.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah.

[Co-host or Guest]

Okay.

[Deontay Kyle]

Third show, Jacksonville, Florida. Comedy Zone, April 7th. Yeah. Comedy Zone, Charlotte, North Carolina. April 14th.

[Co-host or Guest]

Back to North Carolina.

[Deontay Kyle]

Back to North Carolina. And then we're gonna end it out in Music City, Tennessee. Yeah. Zany' Comedy Club, Nashville, Tennessee, April 28th. You can get all those tickets on deontaycowell.com tour or just go to deontaycolle.com and hit the tab that says tour.

[Co-host or Guest]

I wish we would have had two more cities on there.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah.

[Co-host or Guest]

You know, I wish we would have had New Orleans, and I wish we would have had Memphis.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, but that's. You know. But when we do our Texarkana run. Yeah, that's what that is. Cause we already said we want. We gonna go from New Orleans to Jackson, to Jackson, to Memphis.

[Co-host or Guest]

Are we going back to Jackson?

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, we're going back to Jackson.

[Co-host or Guest]

Okay.

[Deontay Kyle]

All right. I already got the people out there, like, with the good venue. You know what I'm saying?

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

You know, shout out to. Yeah, yeah.

[Co-host or Guest]

Can we do that? Johnny T's?

[Deontay Kyle]

Hell, no. Can't got no fucking Johnny T's, nigga. We ain't prime. They got a whole. They got a whole, like, ballroom upstairs. Nah, man, bruh, it was like 150 people at our first show, man.

[Co-host or Guest]

It was.

[Deontay Kyle]

We can't squeeze.

[Co-host or Guest]

Can't squeeze up people.

[Deontay Kyle]

And then, bruh, you know, you gotta think a lot of them folks didn't even know who the fuck we was when we pulled up.

[Co-host or Guest]

That's a fact. That is a fact.

[Deontay Kyle]

It was just like. Oh, it's something going on. Something going on.

[Co-host or Guest]

We pulling up.

[Deontay Kyle]

We're pulling up.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Did the knowledge that night, I was preaching like a. Oh, they got some in Jackson.

[Co-host or Guest]

We pulling up.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, we pulling up. So I got. There we go. We're going to 100. Go back to Jackson. But we're gonna work it like a circuit. Yeah, so we might start the next tour in New Orleans. Okay. And then go Jackson. Memphis.

[Co-host or Guest]

Memphis.

[Deontay Kyle]

And then Little Rock. And then work our way to Oklahoma.

[Co-host or Guest]

Oklahoma.

[Deontay Kyle]

Then work our way to Dallas.

[Co-host or Guest]

And then Houston.

[Deontay Kyle]

Then Houston.

[Co-host or Guest]

We gotta go Houston.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, we're gonna end it in Houston. Cause we might stay there a few days.

[Co-host or Guest]

We gotta stay there. If it's on a Sunday, we can't leave.

[Deontay Kyle]

First of all, nigga, if it's on a Monday, we can't leave. Making a. Stay out of it. You know what I'm saying? Go pull up on Alisa D. Yeah,

[Co-host or Guest]

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

[Deontay Kyle]

Show some love. And then, you know, Houston. We love Houston, man. Houston's a great. It's a great city.

[Co-host or Guest]

Great city.

[Deontay Kyle]

You know what I'm saying? But, yeah, we are. I'm very excited. First tour we got, of course, this show in Minneapolis on the 28th. We still coming, you know?

[Co-host or Guest]

Still coming, man.

[Deontay Kyle]

We still pulling up. We're gonna have security with us.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Armed security with us.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

You know what I'm saying? They get ready to take a life, they not gonna touch the grits and eggs, niggas. You know what I'm saying? It's not going down like that, son.

[Co-host or Guest]

I'll be eating continental breakfast.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, man, I'm just going from the hotel to the venue, back to the hotel. We're not doing a whole bunch of hoopla.

[Co-host or Guest]

I'm not. I'm not being on the front lines.

[Deontay Kyle]

And two, the way that this escalating, a lot of people is wanting these niggas done for. Like, they want these out. They just arrested Don Lemon.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah, they just.

[Deontay Kyle]

Don Lemon.

[Co-host or Guest]

They just let him out.

[Deontay Kyle]

Oh, they let him out. They released him on no bail.

[Co-host or Guest]

Released on no bail.

[Deontay Kyle]

So then that mean he was. He was taken in on no charges.

[Co-host or Guest]

And it. But the next court date is February 9th.

[Deontay Kyle]

But on what charges? It don't make sense. How you release on no bail and he ain't got no charges?

[Co-host or Guest]

I don't know.

[Deontay Kyle]

So among the. For. Among Don Lemon, there was Treherne Jean Cruz, Georgia Ford.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yes.

[Deontay Kyle]

And Jamel Lidell Lundy also were arrested as journalists, as people who are exercising their First Amendment right, freedom of press, to be arrested. On what charges? For one, because did they even say what they arrested. What charges they arrest them for? And to release them on no bail just mean that they are trying to scare and strike fear into journalists. I find it rather not even alarming, just funny that all the journalists are black.

[Co-host or Guest]

Exactly. Not only that, they. They. They had a warrant for Fortune County's voting.

[Deontay Kyle]

So that was another thing that happened today. Let's look up that. Because we gotta be direct from 2020.

[Co-host or Guest]

They're looking up.

[Deontay Kyle]

Election.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah, Everything is a scare tactic, man. They're just trying to scare you so you don't go.

[Deontay Kyle]

So FBI to seize all 2020 election ballots, records at the rate in Fulton County's election hub. Now, this. Is. All of this is scare tactics. All of these are scare tactics targeted specifically at black people. Yeah, you know, this is, you know, go back into voting, voting, interrection acts, and black people just. They always try to suppress our right to vote and our access to voting. Because, honestly, we are, like I said before, we are always gonna lead the charge in being the voice that is in rebellion to this establishment, the voice that is gonna expose the establishment. Don Lemon is now an independent journalist.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yes, he is.

[Deontay Kyle]

But he is a tenured. Tenured professional, top of the line journalist.

[Co-host or Guest]

Except for New Year's.

[Deontay Kyle]

Except when you catch him on New Year's, then he just.

[Co-host or Guest]

Then he's done, baby.

[Deontay Kyle]

Donnie, let me drop. Yeah, Lemon drop. Dime, son. You know what I'm saying?

[Co-host or Guest]

Yes, sir.

[Big Bank Black]

The ball drops.

[Deontay Kyle]

You know what I'm saying?

[Big Bank Black]

Lemon drop.

[Deontay Kyle]

Done.

[DJ Braille]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

He get active. You know what I'm saying? But I was like the video shot, I had the microphone upside down. But this is the thing, though, with that, though.

[Co-host or Guest]

It's New Year's Eve.

[Deontay Kyle]

Everybody fucked up, man. Yeah, everybody fucked up.

[Co-host or Guest]

Everybody drunk.

[Deontay Kyle]

You out here with the foes.

[Big Bank Black]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

But he is a consummate professional. He's at the top of his class. So, you know, for him to be arrested and detained for exercising his right, First Amendment right, and the right of the freedom of press is peculiar. But the fact that all of the journalists arrested were black is also peculiar, because they fear our voices and they fear our truth and the fact that we are fearless in how we go about getting that truth. So we, like I said, we ain't on the front lines, but we present in other ways.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah. Yeah. They scared of that November, that midterm.

[Deontay Kyle]

They scared of that midterm. And they trying to. And if you notice, Minnesota is a blue state.

[Co-host or Guest]

It is.

[Deontay Kyle]

Georgia is one of the swing states. It's a swing state, but Atlanta and surrounding areas are mostly blue. And I think that they're going to start to notice a lot of other places are going to start becoming blue, too, that were typically red. Maybe not entire states, but Georgia is very important to them, for sure. And because of the dense population of black people in Georgia, they also understand 90 to 80%, you know, this is probably going to be a landslide in voting against him, but the metro area is surrounded with black Hispanic people. And also, here's another thing too. At this point, you know, it is what it is. You know, people that are like, you know, I regret my vote. Well, prove it.

[Co-host or Guest]

There you go.

[Deontay Kyle]

You regret the vote, then change the vote and go the other way with it. This is gonna be a big one, man.

[Co-host or Guest]

Listen, we need to be outside like we was for Obama. My first time I could vote, I stood in line for three hours, bro. Hey, man, the first time I could ever vote in my life was for Obama. I was in college. I remember that shit. Yeah, I had to stand outside three hours, bro. But it was worth it, though. I enjoyed it.

[Deontay Kyle]

And then he won.

[Co-host or Guest]

I was like, yeah, yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

You felt like you made a difference?

[Co-host or Guest]

Like I made a difference.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. They're definitely trying to rig this election, which is highly illegal. But I think my thing is, who enforces the laws? When the people who make the laws and at the top of our power structure are breaking the laws, who enforces the law? Is it the U.N. you know what I'm saying? You know, it ain't none of that going on.

[Co-host or Guest]

No.

[Deontay Kyle]

So if they do decide to rig the election, you know, I think that there needs to be some talks around how we gonna approach this election too. Yeah. Because of course, like, we need to go out there and vote. But I think this time more than any time is, you know, for people who feel like your vote don't matter, people who feel like or they don't care about politics, you see what can happen. I've never been a whole vote or die ass nigga.

[Co-host or Guest]

No, me neither.

[Deontay Kyle]

But I've also always exercised my right to vote because I understand that if they was willing to kill people to stop them from voting, then it got a matter for something.

[Co-host or Guest]

Exactly.

[Deontay Kyle]

It's not the end all be all. Yeah, but. And then also, I always encourage people again to get involved in your local elections. I was. I was down now. I went to the elementary school. I always tap in with the local elections. I as you tapped in as I want to be with like city hall and stuff like that. But it's also like a very small city.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

You know, I mean, a lot going on. A lot going on in the rico.

[Co-host or Guest]

In the rico.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. But yeah, I just thought that to be odd that they would arrest Don Lemon, of all people. But I think, like, you got to think about optics and signaling, like, who are they trying to Signal to and who are they trying to silence? And if anything, this does nothing but activate black voices.

[Co-host or Guest]

That's it.

[Deontay Kyle]

You know what I'm saying? Because now this is also funny. The day that we say we doing the national shutdown, they also arrest Don Lemon too. Yeah. Which in in essence forces us to be on social media. But I think social media at this point is more about engaging in news. And this is where we're gonna get our news. Yeah. Even if they try to control it, they don't 100 have control over. So it's. It's, you know, scary hours, man. It's getting spooky out there.

[Co-host or Guest]

Spooky hours, baby.

[Deontay Kyle]

It's spooky. We don't have Big Cat for long today. Nah.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah, I got a hot date.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. Yeah, he's got a date. Yeah, he got it cut out. I've been cleaning the house all day. I got some new furniture. Shout out to Wayfair.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Gave me a little credit. So I'm good.

[Co-host or Guest]

Couch.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. New couch. Boneless couch.

[Co-host or Guest]

Boneless. Got the boneless joint.

[Deontay Kyle]

I went boneless. That bit huge though.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah, that is. It's a nice size couch.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, man can take some good naps on that couch.

[DJ Braille]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

You know what I'm saying? I'm waiting on the other joint the to come through, man too. You know what I'm saying?

[Co-host or Guest]

Got two couches.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. Yeah. You know, I'm changing that whole room up because whenever we do move, I want. I want everything to be in place.

[Co-host or Guest]

Gotcha.

[Deontay Kyle]

You know what I'm saying? I'm in that. I'm a hire some movers age.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

You know what I'm saying?

[Co-host or Guest]

I'm looking at a spot myself.

[Deontay Kyle]

I'm a hire some movers. As you should, king. As you should, king. Nice two bedroom.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah. I'm looking at a spot myself.

[Deontay Kyle]

You know what I'm saying?

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah, I'm Keep it west. I ain't going. I ain't going. I'mma keep it.

[Deontay Kyle]

You going to stay here?

[Co-host or Guest]

I'm going keep it west.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, me too. I was either thinking if I don't stay here, I'm definitely going to Chattahoochee Hill. That area south for.

[Co-host or Guest]

I can see that.

[Deontay Kyle]

You know what I'm saying?

[Co-host or Guest]

That ain't bad.

[Deontay Kyle]

That ain't bad. It's still over this side. But it's not. But it's still. It's a lot closer to what we. You know what I'm saying?

[Co-host or Guest]

It's a lot closer to. God damn. It's a lot closer God damn.

[Deontay Kyle]

20 be beating up, but I ain't gonna lie. All the miles on my car, I ain't gonna lie. We need some type of rebate. You know what I'm saying? The interstate rebate needs something. But I mean, how you been? Everything been good?

[Co-host or Guest]

Everything's been good, man. Y' all know what to do every Monday, the Music Mondays. Y' all know what to do.

[Deontay Kyle]

You do know what to do. You know what to do.

[Co-host or Guest]

Let's go check it out, man. We got a lot of cousins. They got new cousins.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. It's important for y' all to tap in. No, no.

[Co-host or Guest]

It's important for y' all to tap in. New music Mondays, man. Get those views up, man. Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go. 10k. 10k views.

[Deontay Kyle]

It's important for y' all to tap in with the new music Monday. I'm gonna tell y' all why. Why? Because if you want black people to reclaim black culture.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

Especially in the hip hop space, we are doing it.

[Co-host or Guest]

We are doing it.

[Deontay Kyle]

Not only are we giving opportunities to be heard to, like, unsigned artists, independent artists, people who don't necessarily have a platform, but want their music heard, we also are introducing y' all to some hot buzzing artists. And we bringing rap city back with the rap session. Yeah, the rap session is bringing Rap City back. Yeah, we got that boy Nando STL coming out next week. Cold. Cold, nigga, cold. He's so hard, bro. Right? He's out of there. And then we got a young worldwide Eli that could also go to show you. If you submit that music and that shit slapping, you might could just pull

[Co-host or Guest]

up, pull up and just chill.

[Deontay Kyle]

Cause we ain't doing an interview or nothing with him. But he definitely got them bars off.

[Co-host or Guest]

And he was on the show.

[Deontay Kyle]

And he was on the show.

[Co-host or Guest]

He was on the show.

[Deontay Kyle]

James spoke for a little bit. He was comfortable. Yeah, he was ready for that.

[Co-host or Guest]

Nando's homeboy.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah, Nando homeboy submit a song on the spot. And his rock star, new metal. Yeah, niggas doing new metal is crazy. Also make sure you all are tapping in on those Saturday guest episodes, for sure. I feel like I'm getting. I'm getting there. You know what I'm saying? I'm getting in my interview bag. We have great guests now. You're doing good. Big Bank Black was today, you know. The next guest, I believe, is Dr. Taylor.

[Co-host or Guest]

Bank was today.

[Deontay Kyle]

Bank was today.

[Co-host or Guest]

I thought it was tomorrow. Saturday.

[Deontay Kyle]

It. I mean, it'll be Saturday. When this come out. Big Cat.

[Co-host or Guest]

When this come out.

[Deontay Kyle]

Yeah. So when they listen to this, it'll be today.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Something about today.

[Deontay Kyle]

I mean, it actually is out today, though, the audio. So the audio. Audio is out Friday. Okay. Yeah.

[Co-host or Guest]

You know, I'm a visual. I don't. You know.

[Deontay Kyle]

You know what I'm saying? But I was saying that because.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah, okay.

[Deontay Kyle]

You're breaking the fourth wall.

[Co-host or Guest]

Well, God damn it. No, I mean, God damn it.

[Deontay Kyle]

You see it tomorrow? Yeah. This is coming out after that one drops. So go watch that one and then come watch different. If you're watching this and you ain't watched that, go back and watch that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Big Bank Black]

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. May is mental health awareness month, and

[Deontay Kyle]

I think it's a good reminder that

[Big Bank Black]

whatever you're carrying, you don't have to carry it by yourself. Life is a journey, and some days feel lighter than others. But then there are those days or those seasons where your mind is racing, you're feeling overwhelmed, you're trying to figure

[Deontay Kyle]

everything out on your own.

[Big Bank Black]

And the truth is, none of us has all these answers by ourselves. Therapy can be a place to talk things through with someone who is there to listen, understand, and support you without judgment. Whether you've been feeling anxious, stuck, unsure, or just like you need help sorting through what's been keeping you up at night, checking in with yourself matters. BetterHelp makes it easier to get connected with support. You'll answer a short questionnaire about your needs and preferences. And BetterHelp does the initial matching work to help you connect with a licensed therapist. And if that match doesn't feel right, you can always switch therapists at any time. BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform with over 30,000 therapists, and they've helped more than 6 million people globally. You don't have to do this journey alone. Find support and have someone with you in therapy sign up and get 10% [e-mail] grits that's better. H E L p.com grits all right, let me put you all on something real quick. If you're still dealing with all these bank fees, overdraft charges, monthly fees, all of that, it's time to upgrade. Chime is changing the way people bank. This is a fee free banking built for you, not these traditional banks that make you feel like they're always taking

[Deontay Kyle]

something out of your account.

[Big Bank Black]

What I like about it is it actually feels designed for real life. Like, why Am I paying just to access my own money? With Chime, you've got access to thousands of fee free ATMs. If you've ever been in that situation where your account dips a little too low, they've got Spotme, which lets you overdraft up to $200 with no fees and that alone. Game changer. I know when I was using the Chime account, that was a game changer for me. It was like getting in advance because there was no fee attached to it. Plus, if you set up the direct deposit, that's where you really unlock the benefits. You can get things like cash back on everyday spending like gas or groceries, and even grow your savings faster with a competitive apy. Honestly, I know my younger self really benefited from this and I think, you know, your younger self would have benefited from it as well because it just makes managing your money feel a lot less stressful and a lot more in your control. Chime is not only smarter banking, it is the most rewarding way to bank join the millions who are already banking fee free today. Head to chime.com grits that's chime.com grits it only takes a few minutes to get signed up.

[Ad/Promo Voice]

Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services for MyPay and ChimeCard provided by Chime's bank partners. Optional products and services may have fees or charges. Stated annual percentage yield and cash back for Chime prime only. No minimum balance required. Checking account ranking based on the J.D. power survey published October 20, 2025. For more information on APY rates, my pay spot me and travel perks go to chime.com disclosures.

[Deontay Kyle]

We gotta, we gotta tap in. I'm. I'm expressing. You know what my goal and my mantra is always is the diversity of black thought.

[Big Bank Black]

Big.

[Deontay Kyle]

Big bank is not somebody who does interviews for one.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

And then for two is a staple in Atlanta, bro.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yes.

[Deontay Kyle]

You know what I'm saying? The Godfather. Godfather, he don't like that.

[Co-host or Guest]

Nah. But he's. He's earned it. He's earned it.

[Deontay Kyle]

I mean, he's a mediator, bro.

[Ad/Promo Voice]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

You know, he, you know, if you got a problem, Big bank go holl at bank.

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah.

[Deontay Kyle]

You want to get up out of here?

[Co-host or Guest]

Yeah, I think it's time.

[Deontay Kyle]

It's time. I gotta hit.

[Co-host or Guest]

I gotta hit with.

[Deontay Kyle]

Oh, I gotta hit east. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. We'll. We'll do a little. We'll do a little music.

[DJ Braille]

Y' all know I love y'.

[Deontay Kyle]

All. Yeah. Big Cat want. Yeah. He y' all know that y', all, man, hold on. Let me see. Let me see. Let me see what I want to do for the music break. Let me see. Is this it?

[DJ Braille]

Lord. Bearing knees,

[Deontay Kyle]

Real trap.

[DJ Braille]

I'm not your average artist, DJ Rail. I'm real chain baby. I'm the ballers. Ballers. I hit her quitter. Splitter probably won't call her trapaholics. Me and your team are brawling, beefing. Someone's gonna sleep a coughing. He's like this. They don't give me that often. Silk cold they call syrup. I'm coughing. CEO, why you broken, Mr. Perfect? I got Post and PBS watches and roasting, so I see entertainment. We stanking rich.

[Deontay Kyle]

Wow. Okay. Well, you know, a blast back to the past of the first, I would say 10, 12 episodes where it's just me in a room sitting by myself, talking to y'. All. So I wanted to talk about something that I've been thinking about a lot by myself, about purpose and how oftentimes purpose is built through pain. So I think about everything that I went through to be where I am

[DJ Braille]

and

[Deontay Kyle]

how it's almost like everything had to happen the way that it did for me to be who I am so I could show up in this moment, not only for myself, but for y'. All. So we start with being given away at birth and having no knowledge of that, but having that innate knowing that I was different from the people I was being raised by. Even though I was raised in love and turmoil, you know, I was raised in some. I was raised by people who was doing the best they can, they could. And my auntie told me a funny story the other day. So I was on the phone. I've kind of reconnected with some of my family that I have fallen out with. It's not super close, but it's cool. It's cordial. It's love. I don't think it ever will be what it was, especially growing up. But it's getting better. So my auntie was telling me about some of the miscarriages my mom had and how she was just determined to have a son, and she was going to name that son Deontay. And so, you know, she had a stillbirth and a few miscarriages with boys, and these boys was going to be named Deontay. And she was like, man, you know, when she got you, it was such a blessing for her, especially to get you, like, fresh out the womb. You was two days old. You were her baby. You know what I mean? So I meant a lot to her. It was like a blessing for her. And then I think about how the world know this name that she was determined to name her son. And I think about how had that not happened, I would have never grown up with this innate, you know, trust and pattern recognition and, you know, trauma can do some funny things to you, but more than anything, it'll make you a little hyper vigilant. It can also make you extremely rebellious. And so that rebelliousness and that hyper vigilance and my ability to notice things that maybe everybody else isn't not also cultivated in how I was reared. And also like a lot of pushback I got out of life. Like just motherfuckers want me to shut the fuck up. Like people always wanted me to shut the fuck up. And I was determined to talk. And you know, I think about when I was 18, I was in the bookstore and I had like on the all black dicky fit. And I, you know, that was around the time I was really like robbing niggas for sport. Like that was my shit because it was easy, you know, and always kind of scoped out situations where it'd be loading no consequences. Like I already knew these niggas ain't gonna do shit or if they do do shit, like I'm with that shit. So it is what it is. Like I was robbing niggas without a mask. And then like I ain't give a. I was that hot. Like no mask, no name, you know, exactly who did this shit. Come get that in blood or just get the on, you know what I'm saying? And I had went to this bookstore because even in the midst of that time, I was still like, you know, reading and shit like that. Like that was like I was by myself a lot. So even when I was with the bros, I break away, go by myself. I also was like on and off homeless because mom dudes aren't going. So sometimes I be, you know, hobo sexual I for, you know, somewhere to stay and then trap out that house and then she'll put me out, cuz she don't want me selling drugs out of the house, whatever, using cars. I was bum ass nigga, you know what I'm saying? I was a bum ass nigga for sure. But I think about, you know, I met this girl in the fucking Barnes and Noble and she just told me that I would be a pastor. I don't know, we had a long conversation before that. But she also was like very spiritual Christian at the time, but not your Average judgmental bottle book Christian, you know, she was a seer. She told me I'd be a pastor, but not in a conventional way. And then I fast forward to this one night. It was like three in the morning and I was high as fuck off cocaine. And I was just walking around my neighborhood, like pacing, talking to myself and shit like that. Because that's how I kind of dealt with my problems. I didn't really feel like I had nobody to talk to, so I would talk to myself. And I left this spot. We was all getting geeked up and shit. I was like, I'm finna pill out because I just had too much shit on my mind. And I was walking around, it was like a block, you know what I'm saying? Like apartment complex. So of course, sidewalk. It was just like one big ass block. So I was pacing the block, talking to myself and one of my neighbors. Like, I only say hi and bye for whatever reason. He was outside at three in the morning and he stopped me and he was like, I seen you walking and I seen you walk by like a few times. So I wanted to just stop you and let you know that I got a word about you from God. And he was like, I want you to know that you are going to bring forth the true word of Jesus Christ and the true gospel. And not the gospel that they preach in the Bible, but the true word. And I was like, okay. And I'm like, I'm actively. I'm like 2 grams into an eight ball and selling this too and hating my job. And I was like, yeah, whatever, bro. You know what I'm saying? All these different encounters. I remember, like I was trying to get a job at Burger King when I had got out of jail because I was like, I just need any job. And I had walked through this like, sonic parking lot after they had told me they wasn't gonna hire me. And I was crying and shit because I was like really trying to change my life. And I felt like, damn, bro. Like, I can't find a job for shit. I can't even get a job at Burger King, bro. Like, I' ma just had to go back to the street. But I was crying because I didn't want to do that shit. Like I really wanted to change myself. And this dude had stopped me and was like, God told me to tell you, keep going. And I was like, n. What the fuck? Like, what the fuck, bro? Like all these. I just reflect on these moments where I was like in spaces of like real hurt and pain and you know, whether that be addiction, whether that be like homelessness and just like being lost in the world, you know what I'm saying? When I was in the street or, you know, trying to change my life, but shit ain't clicking or, you know, actively in my addiction and getting these messages and it always was pointing me to my purpose, right? And I would say that is affirmative, that I'm living in my purpose now. The fruits of it are there, you know, for sure. And it got me thinking about how rebellion, like, like the true rebellious nature of me is just like growing regardless, like fighting for my humanity because I had every excuse to be a bad person. And people would understood, like, oh, he was adopted, or, you know, he was on drugs or, you know, whatever the case may be, I could have, you know, I used my last day, like all these different things. I could have used all these things as an excuse to be a fucked up ass person. And I still choose, you know, in my mind to be righteous in the truest sense. I still choose to pursue happiness and harmony and community and not wanting to see, you know, young men go through the things that I went through, or young women for that matter, giving them, you know, options of how to start a career and start a life out on the right track, you know, with these trade programs and things like that, where they can put some money in their pocket and they can create, you know, their own income and stability. And the transformative part of it is not doing away with those bad elements, right? If I wasn't willing to go to jail for the bullshit, if I wasn't willing to, like, rob niggas without no mask, because I ain't give a fuck about the consequences. That's why I don't give a fuck about telling the truth. Cause like, I'm gonna tell the truth. I done risked more for way less. So I feel like this, these things that people consider a risk now when they make the comments like, protect this man and you know, we gotta protect him at all costs, Woody, woo, woo. But like, to them, to them, I'm taking a big risk, but to me this is like natural to be bold, to be, you know, Just very forthright with how I feel about things and how I see things without trying to butter it up or sugarcoat it for anybody. And that true transformation comes from embracing that quote, unquote evil. I feel like we are supposed to treat the world accordingly and not ideally. Because goodness is not a performance. It's like an act of integrity, like the choice to be good. It's something that just has to be within you. And goodness in the sense of, like, not the performance of goodness. Now I'm gonna give. I'm gonna give the homeless a jacket and a blanket and food. Because optically, you know, I can monetize out that or optically people and say a good person, but like, choosing to do good and right by people when ain't nobody looking, choosing to go out your way for others when ain't nobody looking, and there is no benefit personally for you. And even your darkness or your shadow self is a tool because knowing how to engage in battles require ammo. If you're going to engage in battle, you need ammo. A lot of people throw down their ammo and then want the world to stop engaging in war. And that's just not how it goes. So all of these different parts of you that you consider your shadow self, you have to kind of remain a balance, which I like. Self, like, if you throw it all away, you become harmless more than you do anything else. Like, I think that there needs to be an element of danger in all of us. There needs to be an element of rebellion in all of us. I think progress in this world, progress in this world requires rebellion, requires somebody who's willing to bend the rules and break the laws and engage in their darkness because it could be a tool. If I'm fearless about running into this house knowing, like, all right, we're gonna run this house and rot these, or I'm gonna jump in the car, this, rock this, and I ain't got no mask on them, that means I really don't give a about the consequences, whether that be from them or from the police. They're like, I can engage. I know I still know how to access that fearlessness. I still know how to access that because I knew what my bigger picture was. My bigger picture was my money. My bigger picture was the ability to feed myself without having to ask anybody for shit and without having to get on somebody clock where I wasn't gonna make a fraction of what I'm making, like the next 30 seconds. But now I can use that as somebody who's willing to organize. Somebody who's willing to be bold enough to go and talk to these babies in these schools and tell them to do the right thing. Because that take courage too, because kids don't really be wanting to hear that shit. Somebody that is willing to take a gun now and go to the gun range and really learn how to utilize and use it. And between me and you, I really want to Learn how to like be very proficient in using a sniper rifle. But that's another topic for another day. But I think a lot of us try to like be all good all the time. And that's just not a reality or a realistic way to view that. I think, you know, the world is, can be manipulative. So if you don't know how to manipulate, then you won't be. You won't know when you're being manipulated. And for me, when I peep somebody trying to manipulate me, I manipulate them back. I fight that fire with fire. I don't even call it out. I just, all right, let's play ball. All right, you want to try me? Let's play ball. May the best liar win. May the best manipulator win. I know it's going to be me because, you know, you think you're getting over and I think you're hilarious. People lie to your face and you know, if you've never engaged in lying, then you can't recognize lies. And for me it's like, oh, you gonna lie to me? Well, let's get this party started. You know what I'm saying? I think, you know, people would try to play power moves. I think, you know, even with this shit that going online, like, people always like to police my reactions to things, right? You know, with the whole Benny situation. Benny did I made all these videos about me. And then when I showed the DM of him trying to be on the show and him being a fan, basically then everybody like, oh, you should have never exposed the DMs or oh, like I hate to see these two brothers, woo do. But like, where was all that talk when this nigga kept making videos about me? Where was all that talk when that nigga was kept down talking me and disrespecting my name and shit like that. Same thing go for that other nigga, the nigga that be oiled up all the time when I made the video about him. Aren't you scared? Aren't you guys scared? No, we ain't no bitch like you get back to selling body butter puss ass nigga. Everybody, oh, these brothers. We hate to see these brothers. But it's like, I don't be saying nothing. Brad be letting nigga get they shit off. And as it's only after the 15th, 20th video that I finally say something. And my response don't even be crazy. Just like these FBA niggas. I'm not talking about foundational black Americans as definition. I'm talking about how they maneuver as a group online. And y' all know that. But y' all want to be dense so y' all can make y' all point against me. Then when I call you niggas out. Now it's all you creating division in the community. But y' all not saying nothing about these nigga when they make. They have made tens and tens damn near 100 videos about me. These niggas be hosting panels about me. You dig what I'm saying? And even when I had made those videos, y' all know that video came from the Christmas episode. And I didn't even put that out. But it wasn't until niggas kept making videos. And it don't even be this thing. I could understand if you disagree with my stance. But these be going big. DB D be so disrespectful, bro. Ass, stupid ass, dumb ass. This agent, this fraud. This, this a clown. This, you know, this bought and paid for. This a fraud. Tether. All these disrespect like, bro, who the do you think you talking to? But then when I engage with it, of course is. Are you like, understanding? Don't nobody lack understanding. Y' all ain't seeing that. And that's hard to understand. Foundational black American. I get it. The people that are descendants of slaves in America. Black people descending of slaves in America. Ados. I get all that. I know exactly what you are talking about. That is not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about how y' all maneuver as a group online. Black Lives Matter as it stands is just a thing. But the group maneuvers a certain way. And most people's criticism about them is about the group, not about the term. I don't have a problem with the term nigga. I fit into the term. I'm a foundational black American. Why the fuck would I have a problem with that? I do have a problem with how niggas maneuver online and get damn near in alignment with white supremacists. Always wanting to check a nigga paperwork. I always wanna down talk a nigga just cause they weren't born in America when like, bruh, blackness is global. And I don't even rock like that. Like, I'm not even. This ain't even like the diaspora podcast or the Globalist podcast and that. My shit is fuh. Niggas in America, they understand me and other people that can see the parallels in their culture as we talk about ours. Yeah, you're welcome to come join into the conversation, but you can't speak down on Niggas like, I don't go for no disrespect to no black Americans. Nigga, we talk about our culture and our contributions to this, to this fucking country all the fucking time. Ain't no other podcast laid out all of our fucking inventions and the things that we improved on in America. Ain't nobody else said that they don't do like that. Ain't nobody talking about niche cultural references the way me and Big Cat do. This ain't got nothing to do with no black American. They got something to do with how you niggas maneuver as a group. And y' all presence online being extremely divisive. And then the fact that y' all need to be talking out the side of y' all motherfucking neck. And y' all think I ain't gonna say y' all got me up, but I'll engage in the bullshit. Cause I know how to, nigga. I come from the bullshit. And think when you positive and think when you are are in pursuit of, you know, more harm, harmony and community. That they could come at you like that because they believe that a person that want good is soft. I can get down with the evil too. You're not the only one, trust me. And I'm not going to tongue wrestle with you online. And I'm not gonna go back and forth with you. You're gonna get one video out of me. Cause all you obviously want is some motherfucking attention. I know my name is a currency at this point for a lot of you bitch ass niggas. And I'm not. And I'm not opposed to that. It's a lot of people that make a lot of videos about me. And I don't say nothing because it is what it is. I get it. It's a currency. What a blessing. What a blessing. What a blessing it is for my name to hold that much motherfucking weight. But once you go to disrespecting me, now we talking about something different. Now we got a problem. And even though I've been hurt in the past, I don't lead with my hurt because I found purpose through my pain. I kept, you know, I actively was trying to build on myself. I wanted to enhance parts of myself. I wanted to grow in certain areas where I felt stunted. Literature can do that for you. You know, just being able to recognize your own triggers and your own shortcomings can do that for you. But really being honest and accountable with yourself about the things that you do wrong. The ability to put yourself in other people's shoes and see how your actions may be able to affect them or are currently affecting them is how you grow. But you gotta face those things. And a lot of people out here ain't facing shit. What they do is they go and they project they hurt online as expertise. A lot of hurt people project their experiences with pain, loss and betrayal as expertise. And it's much easier to just admit to the hurt, but it's more appealing to act above heartbreak. If more people would be honest and vulnerable instead of acting impenetrable, wouldn't fear connectivity. All of the toxic relationship podcasts, the pot, the balloons, the love doctors and experts can gain fame and notoriety online because the cure that they sell is pessimism, paranoia, and oftentimes prostitution. This transactional idea of relationships, they reinforce and validate hurt and pain. And it's not only confirmation bias, but it's also predatory and parasitic. This is where we get a lot of these relationship toxic gender wars, toxic love doctors, toxic love gurus, toxic experts, and for whatever reason, all of their content is surrounding our connectivity, our ability to embrace with each other, our ability, our ability to engage with one another in a healthy way. Our ability to admit to being hurt is not present online. A lot of niggas don't want to admit that they are hurt. Everybody want to acts like they are above heartbreak. And it's sad because it's not human. It's, it's, it's, it's for one. But it's also, you know, extremely parasitic and predatory. When you want to latch onto people's hurt. While you project your pain and your loss and your betrayal as expertise instead of just your experience, these are your experiences. You can't paint the brush of black men or black women as a whole. You can't paint the whole as the truth or as, you know, irrefutable fact based on your experiences with a handful of people. What you must do is inquire within yourself about what's going on within you that attracts these type of people. Because honestly, we are carrying energy. Honestly, all of our energy is magnetic if we want to get on a metaphysical level. And you're attracting things to yourself that are like yourself. Everybody that listens to me is attracted to something that they see within themselves. So, yeah, I may be the voice for this thing, but the reality is my ideals, my perspective also live within you. My experience with these things, my ability to point out the truth about things, also lives within you. I may be the voice for it, but I attract you because we're attractive to each other. We're, we're like minded. We, you know, we're that, that magnet, that magnetism is just very present. I am you, you are me. And if you don't inquire about your ability for one to be honest about who and what you're attracting and your ability to be honest about the things that you've overlooked and the things that you. The red flags that you ignored out of codependence, the things that you let go out of, you know, idealizing potential, the things that you ignored out of hurt and pain and, you know, being used to being hurt and being used to being in pain and the comfort. With abusive dynamics in relationships, we all play a role even in our own demise. And it's not about victim blaming or alleviating predatory behavior. It's about the fact that it takes two to tango. Right? I'm never gonna make excuses for a man who's beating on a woman because that's the ultimate part of the culmination of those feelings, the culmination of those experiences. Whether you was abused or not, whether you was abused emotionally, physically, or sexually or not, it still does not give you the right to go out and abuse others, even though that is a path that most people take. But now you are creating victims, and I can't view you as a victim anymore because now you're perpetrating the behavior. So now we have to focus our attention on the victim of your behavior. And it most times is just trauma bonds. Most times it's just two victims getting together trying to alleviate that pain within one another. And oftentimes n can't dive to the emotional depth that's necessary to get over that hump where they don't have to talk with their hands, but they can actually talk with their hearts. And, you know, we see these dynamics often in lesbian relationships too. I know this from having several homegirls who had studs beat on them and shit like that. And it be a little bit more permissible because it's two women. But it's also the same dynamic of two hurt people getting together. And that one person talks with their hands and not their heart, and the other person is on the receiving end because they seen the darkest parts of this person, so they have empathy for them. And those dynamics aren't right, they're just a reality. But when you deal with her and you deal with pain and you deal with loss and betrayal, and then you get online and somebody is projecting their experiences with those things as expertise is just confirmation Bias. And you'll take everything they say as law, because that's what you feeling. And not only that, but now you playing with the algorithm. So now they're gonna send you more videos along that along that's in alignment with that thought process. And now you are caught up in the rapture of love, the rapture of hate.

[Big Cat]

Caught up in the rapture of love.

[Deontay Kyle]

I gotta do something real quick. So we're gonna listen to that. You get caught up in that rapture, bruh. And you take these feelings and you make them into facts. Because you are obviously speaking from a place of hurt. And we all can identify with being hurt. But what we can't do is take that feeling and make an effect and project that feeling onto the world and all these different people that you have not had experiences with and base your stance on them or predetermine their intentions based on your experience with just a handful of people. Because the reality is, ho or not, our experience with love, true love, truly engaging in something with depth emotionally is only coming from a handful of people.

[Big Cat]

When we met always knew I would feel that magic for you on my mind constantly in my arms the way you should be I love you every baby you let my love fly freely I want you in my life for all time. I caught up in the rapture love nothing else can compare When I feel the magic of you. We stand side by side Till the stones of life pass us by Light my life, warm my heart say tonight will be just the stars I love you where I need Baby you let my love fly freely I want you in my life for all time. The rapture of love Nothing else can compare When I feel the magic of you the feelings always new Caught up in the rapture of you.

[Deontay Kyle]

I'mma be back in a minute. I got a post about these tour tickets, but I don't feel like doing all this breakup and extra editing because I'm editing this episode by myself. Big hats.

[Big Cat]

Baby you let my love fly freely I want you in my life for all time. Caught up in the rapture of love Nothing, nothing else can come back When I feel the magic of you the feelings always you Caught up in the nature of you.

[Deontay Kyle]

Girl, I need a boy. I need a saying to a win. We cannot take here. Here's the thing. It is. It is extremely, extremely easy for us to get caught up in the rhetoric of our feelings, for us to be attracted to the rhetoric of the thing that we feel at this very moment. And the most important part about it is the reason why it's so attractive is because at the core of it, it's extremely human. It's the most human thing that we can do is to connect, to embrace, to love. It's the thing that we all desire. It's actually the reason that we're all here. It's the most, it's the most valuable thing that we have is, is love for one another. Finding someone to be in love with, finding someone we can express our love with, finding someone we could be naked with, literally and figuratively, you know, and it not be sexual, but it be like truly intimate. You know, those moments where you could just be bare and that person is a complete acceptance of you. This is the thing that we all desire. This is the reason, you know, for us being here on this earth, period, is to connect, to gather resources and to reproduce. And they have commodified every aspect of our love, of our life. And they've commodified love with selling fear around love, selling pessimism, selling paranoia, selling prostitution. You know, this idea of relationships being extremely transactional, being a blessing for people is just not the way that we do these things. You know, this idea of generosity being lumped in with tricking. This idea of a transactional relationship being true love. And also like the promotion of a transaction or relationship is also kind of indication that it's going to be temporary. So it's being sold to you with the idea of scarcity. You don't know how long this is going to be present, so you might as well get everything you can get out of it while it is. And so you, you, you, you engage with somebody from a stance and a posture of temporariness or, or of it being temporary. What's the, what's the word? Temporariness? I ain't a word. Temporarily. What's the synonyms of that? Hold on. Temporary synonym. Short term. Interim. Interim is a good word. So you engage with it from a, from a stance of it being an interim love, temporary love, and then it's on to the next thing and, and you know, and the prostitution is not only sold to the women, but it's sold to men too. You know, high value man, you the prize. What do you bring to the table? So now it's like all of these things that you've worked for now have to be doled out as, you know, gifts or doled out as something to earn. Prostituting yourselves, prostituting bits of yourself, but not really fully being able to engage in a true generosity with people and sharing with people because you Want to share things with people, but sharing things with women to hoard power over them, to give them experiences that they may not be able to give themselves or may not be able to find with the average guy. So now you get to hoard that power over them with your materials. The pessimism that's involved in it is expectation to fail. So don't engage with it completely. Don't do girlfriend. Don't do wife or husband things for your girlfriend or boyfriend. When the reality is your performance as a partner becomes standard well before a marriage. How y' all engage with each other is how y' all were going to gauge after your marriage. So what does this mean? Like, I had. So now you want people to, what, unlock the premium package? Don't, you know, don't do nothing for this person if they ain't put a ring on it. Is this thing of. And I get it, I understand where. Where it's from, but it's also very pessimistic thing. So it's like, now you. Now your love is based on a subscription. Like, this is the girlfriend package. This is the wife package. And it's like, it's all temporary and it's all very pessimistic. And then you sell the idea of paranoia. So men are paranoid, and they push paranoia onto each other. Like, you know, the whole meme with dude holding the shoulder, y' all always have in the back of your mind and imagination, you always thinking about your girl getting fucked by somebody else. So not only do we not like the autonomy of women having sex, not only do you like the idea that she has sex with people before you, but every time she's not in your presence, she's somebody. That is just an extreme paranoia. And it come from watching too much porn, and it come from being a cook. And it also come from a deep insecurity of abandonment, a fear of abandonment, a fear of being humiliated, a fear of being clowned amongst your peers because you, you know, you fell in love with a bop. But the thing is, like, none of that shit matters. You do fall in love with a bop. So what did you feel love? Did you have a good time? And once she, you know, once she is very outright with her bop behavior, are you willing to disengage? This is the thing, like, at the end of the day, you have to be able to walk away from things. But this half, you know, this double dutching that you playing with your heart and this double dutch you playing with, engaging and connecting with people as a human is oftentimes clouded by the idea that other people are going to have about it. Me personally, I never gave a and still will continue not to give a fuck. You should not care about what other people think because nine times out of 10 they either desire to have the same connection with somebody, because why? What's the point of humiliating somebody because they're experiencing connection? It's either because you have a lack of connection with other people or you understand that that connection is gonna pull that person's attention in another place. So it could be jealousy, it could be envy, it might be something that makes you happy and they just don't want you to be happy. And we have to understand that sometimes like people can be miserable and your experience with happiness will make them wish it would go away for you. And you know, these are just things that happen as a byproduct of not only this society, but a byproduct of this condition that we live in. Underneath capitalism where everything is transactional and the most successful people put themselves first and they use people and they value things, you know, they value their position at work, they value their income, they value their car, they value the type of clothes that they can buy. But they use people for sex, they use people for temporary love, they use people to have a warm body in the bed with them. But ultimately they're pessimistic and paranoid and you know, can only view as transactional. So they run away as soon as fellows get involved. And it's all because of their experience with pain, loss and betrayal. And now they project that out into the world as expertise. And instead of it being a reflection of their vibration, they make it everybody else's problem. And none of us are going inward with how we play into these things. So you know, we have to break free of the cycle. Anytime somebody say as a man, as a woman, anytime somebody mention relationships, anytime somebody call themselves a love coach or a love expert or self help or any of this shit. And I'm not talking about Taylor Cummings because her shit is actually, she's actually has a PhD and doesn't talk about loving relationships. She talks about self love, she's the self love doctor. But when we talking about people as it pertains to your connection and love with others, it's a red flag because nobody's doing it from an earnest place. Everybody's utilizing the Internet for their own self gain and self validation. And oftentimes these people that portray themselves as experts are alone, Which I find odd. It's like a sound telling you he a pilot but he never flew a plane. It's just like, what are you talking about, blood? What are we talking about? How the are you a pilot? You never flew a plane? How are you a love coach and you're not currently in love? How are you a relationship expert and you're not in a relationship? These things don't make sense to me. Everybody on podcasts that talk about relationships, I hurt people. And oftentimes, if you look at the dynamic of how people talk, they want their partner to be their parent that they can fuck. That just is what it is. A lot of people are looking for a parent that they can fucking. Cause parenting is an extremely selfless thing. You do everything for your child and you take all of their shit along with it. And a bad parent is gonna hold everything over the child's head. Because at the end of the day, parenting is not only a role, but it's a responsibility. You take on responsibility for this child's life, to nurture them to be, you know, a full and prepared adult when they go out into the world. This is not an intimate romantic relationship. This is a role and a responsibility. And a lot of people want somebody else to assume that role and responsibility for them to take on all they, but also them. It's odd. It's odd, it's weird. But you know, Who the is this?

[Big Bank Black]

Raise your hand. Be honest. How many of y' all have been

[Deontay Kyle]

putting off going to the doctor? Yeah, me too.

[Big Bank Black]

Like, I noticed something is a little off.

[Deontay Kyle]

And instead of booking an appointment, I'm on my phone at 1am Googling symptoms.

[Big Bank Black]

You know, Dr. Google convincing myself I

[Deontay Kyle]

either need to drink more water or

[Big Bank Black]

that I'm dying, no in between. Or I'll say, like, I'm a book it this week. And then the week comes and it goes, and the next thing you know, it's been months. That's exactly why I like Zoc Doc. Because it actually makes finding a doctor and booking the appointment way easier than

[Deontay Kyle]

we make it in our own head.

[Big Bank Black]

ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can find and book high quality in network doctors. And I'm talking about over 150,000 providers

[Deontay Kyle]

across all 50 states.

[Big Bank Black]

So whatever you need, whether it's dental, primary care, dermatology, eye care, all of that is on there. And you can search by specialty or even by symptoms, read real patient reviews, and actually get a feel for the doctor before you book. And the best part, you can see their real time availability and book instantly. No calling offices, no being on hold, no we'll call you backs. You can do in person visits or video visits. Whatever works for you. And appointments usually happen fast, like within 24 to 72 hours and sometimes even same day. If I need to find a new doctor, this is exactly what I use, because anything that makes taking care of myself easier, I'm with that. So stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to Zocdoc.com/grits to find and instantly book a doctor you love today. That z o c doc.com/grits zocdoc.com/grits.

[Deontay Kyle]

Thank you, Zocdoc, for sponsoring this message. Listen, bro, I'm gonna tell y' all something. When we, like, announce things, y' all have to understand that it's not like I'm not trying to leave you out. It's just is what it is. Like, these are, you know, we're dealing with people who deal with analytics. We're dealing with people who want to see these things be successful. So I, you know, you could say, like, oh, yeah, I wish I was coming to this city. It's like, yeah, well, I wish I was too, but it's just not how it works. Our show works here. This is what the data is telling us. So we have to go where we know we'll be successful. So we can maybe book a show in this city and know that people are not only willing to travel, but people will show up. We post a Southeast edition, and everybody gonna be like, when y' all come to New York, it says Southeast edition. So what does that indicate? These use our critical thinking skills here. What does that indicate? That indicates that there's going to be a Northeast edition, a Midwest edition, a West coast edition. I even said this the other day, and as soon as I posted it for the pre sales, it was like, y' all need to come to the West. Like, bro, be cool. We doing the best we can. Hey, man, this is an independent operation, brother. We working with what we got. Trust me. We're gonna come to your city. Trust me. I already told y', all, 20, 26, we come to your city. But yeah, man, I want to. I want to really. I really want to challenge y' all and to impress on y' all that the transformation isn't a dropping off of your bad parts. It's learning how to utilize the characteristics that come with bad for good or to engage with the world accordingly and not ideally, if somebody's trying to manipulate you, you don't have to take the high road. You just get back getting your manipulation Bag. This could be fun. If somebody wants to lie to your face and you know they lying, this could be fun. Let's. May the best liar win, May the best manipulator win. But you also know what parts of you to cut off from it. That's just me. So we, we, we. We throw down all our ammo and then we tell the world, please stop engaging in war. That's not the world, bruh. The world engages in war and you need to be war ready in all aspects, but you also need to be open and you need to be willing to engage with the world from a place of love. When the world is showing you love, black people, specifically black people especially, we need to be a little bit more warm and welcoming to one another. Regardless of our experience with one another. We also know what our experiences are. The world is. Is. Is trying his damnedest to turn us cold and turn us into what they want us to be. They only want us for our labor. They only want us for our skills. They only want us for our minds, but they don't appreciate our hearts. They don't like our rhythm, they don't like our creativity. They don't like our ability to turn nothing into something. And, you know, we would be seen as a great commodity if we just wouldn't feel, if we just wouldn't smile. And we would only work and improve upon things. But it's completely severed our relationship with one another in a lot of spaces, and we need to reclaim that. We need to reclaim our love for one another. We need to reclaim the community with one another. We need to, you know, be willing to be the first to engage. And I know that we all fear rejection, but it's okay to say hey to your neighbor just because they don't speak to you and you like, well, they ain't saying shit to me, so, nah, it's okay to engage and it's okay if they reject. It's not personal. They don't fucking know you. If they don't want to engage back, that's an issue that they're having. It's not an issue within. Within you. But you don't need to lose that enthusiasm towards loving people and embracing people and engaging with people. All of this stuff is meant to break down our connectivity. We fear connectivity because of the pain, because of the betrayal, and because of proximity. We've been hurt by one another. So of course we expect one another to hurt. But we also have to leave a lot of our childhood experiences in childhood, outside of, you know, sexual trauma. These are things that are going to be carried over into adulthood, especially, like physical trauma. I think I'm coming down with a little cold, but I hope I'm not. But, you know, it's time to time for us to grow up and actually be the adults. We, you know, we are millennials, bro. We are Gen Z and Gen X people. You know, the boomer world is over. The boomer blueprint doesn't exist for us, and that's why we're all so burnt out. But what we need to do is reclaim and create our own blueprint. We don't need anybody that's old and fucking out of touch telling us, like, what we should do. Like, that's not the purpose. That's not the person I want to take advice from. I want to take advice from the person that's happy and they're my age. I want to take the advice from the person that has a successful business and they five years older than me or five years younger than me because they're experiencing the same world that I am. And I won't discredit somebody because they come from money. But I also can be vocal about the fact that, hey, if you come for money and I don't, okay, this ain't the person that can speak to what I'm experiencing. And then, you know, more power to you. But you can tell me about the ins and outs of business, But I can't learn how to get it started because you started out with something. So let me go find a person that started out with nothing and talk to them. And I want to talk to the person that's five to 10 years in in either direction. I'm not talking to a person 30 years, 30 years older than me, expecting them to understand the world that I'm growing up in. Bought a house when houses was $15,000. Like, I'm cool, bro. A house is a quarter mil and between a quarter million and a half a million. Now, you're not gonna understand you selling your houses for 10 times what you bought it for. I'm cool. You don't understand. So the blueprint is something that we need to recreate. Like, we are kind of living off of an archaic and ancient blueprint at times because we want that to be true, but it's just not true. And we need to be okay and confident enough to charge for it with our own blueprint and our own ideas and ignore anybody who doesn't understand our lived experience and is still talking about what it was. I want to only talk to people that understand what it is. That somebody that lives in the present, somebody that understands and can identify with my struggles as a 35 year old, as a 30 year old, as a 40 year old, as a 25 year old, as a 45 year old and not somebody that's 60, 65, 70, trying to tell me, well, back in my day, auntie, uncle, granddad, grandma, grand, you might as well shut that shit up. Shut it up. Pack that up. I don't want to hear that shit. It's not for me. That's not my experience. And we got to be okay with dis, you know, we don't need to do away with traditions. We just need to understand that that's not the time we living in. It's okay to create our own traditions. Game night should be a thing, you know, you should be getting together with your cousins and your friends and doing that. But we also have to stop engaging with everybody from for one, like be able to engage with people platonically. Be able to engage with people without giving them everything as soon as you met them. Keep things surface, keep things, you know, cool. Work your way up to shit. Work your way up to a depth of connectivity. Because a lot of people beat people and they want to know everything about them. Like, don't do that bro. This type of party. As soon as I, as soon as I meet somebody and they want to tell me everything they got going on in their life, you want to give me a whole life story and not just because I'm deontay Kyle, but that's just kind of the person you are. I don't want to deal with that no more because like, yeah, there ain't nothing else to work with. Also like a biography is not an introduction, it's not an icebreaker. Learn how to be reserved. Learn how to be close to yourself. Learn how to embrace an unfolding of things and let things happen over time. This is a part of the pessimism part. This is the part we engage with things as if they're going away. We're engaging with things as if they're just temporary. And you coming from a lack mentality even in your relationships, even in platonic relationships, even in friendships. So lack, you don't have to tell somebody everything about you. You don't have to dump on people like that. You can reserve parts of yourself and allow things to be cool and copacetic, ease your way into things. Everybody want everything to happen right now we got instant gratification issues in every aspect of our life. It's not necessary. It's okay if I'm in class with, you know, like, this is my thing in high school. If I'm in class with this girl and I find her attractive on day one, I' ma still find her attractive on day 30, day 60, day 90. I'm not gonna be in a rush to try to holla at this girl, build some type of familiarity. We in the same room. I'm gonna be myself. I'm expressed personality. She gonna get to know me from afar. I'm gonna get to know her from afar. Throughout things, you. You notice things. You notice a little eye contact. You notice a little flirtation. You trying to do everything on day one. Now you cook the rest of the goddamn. Yeah, because you shot. You know what I'm saying? It's 24 seconds on the shot Car. You get the half court. It's 22 seconds on the shot clock. You don't threw that thing up. Be cool, bro. Work the ball, set up the play, pass the rock, let things unfold. You ain't even read the defense yet, just throwing up a shot. But they've been interacting with people as if they're going away. Interacting with groups as if it's temporary, interacting with love as this is fleeting. You're gonna get the same results you always get because it is fleeting, because that's how you treat it. Just as much as you think it's gonna go away, it's in a hurry to get away. Stop seeking instant gratification in every aspect of your life. Learn how to weaponize the aspects of your life that can be used as tool, tools and engagement. Learn how to embrace the evil. Learn how to embrace the darkness of yourself because it's there for a reason. And whatever the opposite of that is, you need to be stronger as well. So if you know how to manipulate people, then you need to also know how to be extremely honest and transparent. It's just equally as important if you know that. Whatever. I don't want to say that. So I think that's a great enough example. If you know your past, you've been very manipulative, then you're present. You need to be very honest and transparent with people. You don't need to be engaging in manipulation. You need to engage in honesty and transparency and raw communication without the fear of vulnerability. It's necessary. It yields great results. Trust me, I'm an expert. Yeah, man. That's all I got, bro. We need to build our own blueprint. Free Don Lemon, even though he already free, and everything else. I said. This has been Patreon Episode 20. I can't believe I did this do it. Feels so weird not to have somebody to bounce off of, but it actually feels kind of cool, too. I might be able to just do a little bit of this more often, too. What song do I want to end this thing with? All right, well, this has been episode 20, Patreon. I am your host, Deontay Kyle. But who's behind the camera? Big, big ice cup I'll see y' all next time.

[Guest Rapper or Poet]

My people stuck in ghetto genocide it's dark in these streets please keep your kids inside these niggas slide not looking at you they shoot and close their eyes how is this fine? How is that gangster? Everything is fun and games until somebody get killed by a prankster but you was thugging with them wanks a couple weeks ago everybody was gang ganging tell little buddy sneaked your coat that's your plug money you need to scope your big brother stay looking at and now he need a O now you in the trap all embarrassed cause you can't feed your folk Tamika broke I don't know why the hell you thought you need a foe all them galleria chanels and she can't even chenille you a piece of rope you falling that add check had you balling with Donald Trump ain't in office no more and them collectors calling nigga it's tax season young niggas robbing in all black season it's cold outside they wearing hoodies tucking they max freezing it's even gangsters working for snitches they got these rats cheesing you still trying to find buddy with your coke so you can get back even these streets sleazy Whoever said thugging would be easy I know with 45 years for trying to be jeezy some ain't even make it to pounds they die for qpzy some niggas ain't even make it to books they die for magazines and seen some walk to the devil trying to search for Jesus the died blessing the hood nobody heard his sneezing see I'm from the neck of the woods with choppers keep squeezing his mama looking up to the the sky three years she's still grieving these real demons little dumb ass niggas on these pills leaning ain't never learned no trades but they specialize in red beaming we killing off our own race nigga these queens need semen somebody take my hand out the ghetto or we could keep dreaming.