Grumpy Old Geeks, Episode 723: “Don’t Want No Samsung”

Date: November 21, 2025
Hosts: Jason DeFillippo & Brian Schulmeister
Special Guest: Dave Bittner

Episode Overview

In this episode of Grumpy Old Geeks, Jason and Brian—along with regular contributor Dave Bittner—tackle the week’s chaos in tech and online culture. With their trademark sarcasm and deep knowledge, the trio breakdown tech’s walk of shame, analyzing the latest financial bubble fears, corporate embarrassments, AI absurdities, and the comical rejection of Android by literal thieves. The episode is packed with pointed critiques, memorable rants, and plenty of dark humor.

1. Video Podcast Debrief & YouTube Adventures

[02:04–04:25]

• The hosts review their experiment with YouTube video episodes and Shorts; comments are surprisingly constructive, but the additional workload is a pain.
• Jason jokes: “The best way [to support us] is just to open your wallet.” (03:20)
• Wardrobe anxiety and the challenge of appearing on camera: “Now I have to worry about my wardrobe. I got a haircut for this thing.” (04:12, Jason)

2. Tech Industry Train Wrecks

Tesla Diner Debacle

[04:42–06:36]

• Chef Eric Greenspan leaves the controversial LA Tesla Diner to focus on his Jewish deli, possibly due to Musk’s “epic” menu demands and ongoing public criticism.
• Musk’s reputation is discussed: “Sounds irksome.” (05:22)

Larry Summers’ Shameful Exit

[06:36–08:08]

• Larry Summers resigns from OpenAI’s board after emails with Jeffrey Epstein surface.
• Brian sums up: “It could be kind of a do not do list, but hey.” (07:46)

3. Financial Bubble Watch & AI Market Realities

Nvidia and the AI Bubble

[08:21–10:52]

• Nvidia’s record earnings spark a fleeting stock rally before crashing as analysts warn the AI infrastructure bubble is unsustainable.
• Brian on selling: “I want to…lock in the profits…because there’s no doubt…Nvidia is going to crash.” (09:41)

Bitcoin and Retirement Exposure

[10:52–12:59]

• Bitcoin collapses, retirement funds unknowingly exposed to crypto.
• “You probably don’t even know that you’re invested in Bitcoin…Stay the fuck out of it.” (12:27, Brian)

4. Billionaires’ Pointless AI Arms Race

[13:30–14:36]

• Jeff Bezos launches “Project Prometheus,” aiming to blend AI with the “physical world.”
• The hosts lament tech moguls’ vanity projects over philanthropy:
  • “Why don’t they just take their money and…end hunger?” (14:36, Jason)
  • “You want to be liked so much, you could do something good for the world.” (14:47, Brian)

AI Return on Investment: Still Hopeless

[15:12–17:28]

• KPMG study: Only 2% of Canadian companies earn ROI from AI; only billion-dollar firms see any gains, likely through layoffs.
• Brian mocks the advice: “Let’s drive off the cliff too.” (17:07)

5. More Tech Fails & Legal Jokes

Tesla Robo Taxis: Napping Drivers

[17:28–18:38]

• Real incidents of Tesla safety drivers sleeping during rides; Tesla customer support silent.
• “Stay away from the robo taxis for your own safety and ours. Please.” (18:38, Jason)

Meta Not a Monopoly, Says Judge

[18:38–20:14]

• FTC loses antitrust case against Meta (“not a monopoly now,” despite history).
• Jason: “So you can kill somebody back then, but are you a murderer today? No. Well, then go Scot free.” (19:40)

Binance Corruption Continues

[23:12–24:42]

• Even after a $4B penalty, Binance persists in facilitating illicit transactions, Trump pardon decried as pure corruption.
• Brian: “That’s bad journalism. It’s not ‘looking like it’… Just say it. Say what it is.” (23:47)

6. AI’s Dumbest Moments and Risks

AI “Breakthroughs”: Syntax and Sycophancy

[24:45–27:31]

• OpenAI "solves" the dash problem: ChatGPT now won’t use dashes if asked—heralded as a “small but happy win.”
  • “They cracked it. Oh, my God. Someone has discovered the regex.” (25:32, Jason)
• Musk’s AI Grok declared (erroneously, via prompt manipulation) that Musk is more fit than LeBron James, a better lover than Nancy Reagan, and would have hidden better than Anne Frank. (See [28:07–29:01], Brian’s “David Letterman” segment.)

Intuit’s Baffling Faith in AI

[29:08–30:53]

• Intuit inks a nine-figure deal with OpenAI to embed generative AI into products like TurboTax and Mailchimp.
• Jason warns: “Do not do this, people…Get a human accountant.” (30:42)

AI in Education: Dumber Kids, More Automation

[31:02–34:38]

• AI’s infiltration into education—teachers are now offered ChatGPT-based lesson tools while student reading and math skills plummet.
• UC San Diego: 1 in 8 freshmen fail middle school math; students reporting rarely being assigned whole books before college.
  • “We are dumbing down college.” (36:12, Jason)
  • “You really shouldn’t [adopt these tools]. Schools have become a competitive AI battleground…They are not here to help you, they are here to get your data.” (31:43, Brian)

7. Society’s Tech (& Morality) Slide

Device-Level Age Verification for Porn

[37:37–39:06]

• Pornhub requests Apple, Google, Microsoft manage age checks at device-level to preserve privacy and meet regulations.
• Jason: “Just let people jerk off in private, please. It’ll make the world a better place.” (38:56)

London Thieves Reject Android (“Don’t Want No Samsung”)

[39:08–39:58]

• Criminals in London only steal iPhones, returning Androids to mugging victims:
  • “One thief jogged back just to return his Android with a casual, ‘Don’t want no Samsung.’” (39:38, Jason)
  • Brian jokes, “Don’t want no Samsung. Ain’t no Scrubs.” (39:58)

8. Media & Streaming Reviews

[40:05–48:11]

• The Witcher S4: “It’s not as good as Henry Cavill… I’m just not sure I care.” (40:25, Brian)
• Guillermo del Toro’s Frankenstein: “I thought it was trash… Did not flow well… Not a good movie at all.” (41:12, Jason)
• Pluribus becomes Apple TV’s biggest drama launch: “Because it’s actually a good show, unlike Severance.” (43:01, Jason)
• Ken Burns’ The American Revolution: Highly recommended; “I really enjoy it and I love the fact that he got [Paul Giamatti].” (45:53, Brian)
• Moana live-action trailer: “We don’t need this…The animated version was perfect…What are we doing here?” (47:34, Brian)
• Project Hail Mary trailer: Excitement despite spoilers for those who read the book.
• Goo Goo Dolls NPR Tiny Desk: “It was a really great little show. He sounds great. Still so good on him.” (48:16, Brian)

9. Welcome Dave Bittner: Camping Tips, Retro Gaming & Keyboard Rants

[48:30–61:46]

• Dave shares Thanksgiving plans and responds to listener questions on camping; “pineapple vinegar” is suggested to deter insects.
• Retro Gaming: Microsoft MIT-licenses Zork, freeing the classic text adventure. Jason reminisces: “Don’t start with [the] hitchhikers [game].” (54:45)
• iOS Keyboard Woes: Hosts and guest vent about recent glitches and longstanding design annoyances:
  • “I didn’t change, the keyboard changed. It seemed like they shifted everything 10 pixels to the left.” (59:14, Jason)
• Video Essay Shoutout: Dave recommends a video exploring why modern movies “don’t feel real,” sparking discussion on nostalgia, digital effects, and “constraints make better art.”

10. Holiday & Life Reflections

[67:45–72:14]

• The trio share their Thanksgiving traditions old and new.
• Brian notes, “Canadian Thanksgiving is different because it’s celebrated on the second Monday in October…” (69:50)

11. Closing Shoutouts & In Memoriam

[72:25–74:52]

• New Patreon supporter “Llcoolgeek,” PayPal donors, and tip jar thanks.
• Tribute to Stone Roses/Primal Scream bassist Manny (RIP at 63).
• Björk turns 60; “Of course she does. She’s from Iceland. Come on. They don’t age up there.” (74:25, Jason)
• Final (comic) advice: “If you ever do watch [Dancer in the Dark], don’t watch it alone like I did… It was bad.” (74:41, Jason)

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On AI ROI:
  “Only a small sliver of Canadian businesses are generating growth from their AI investments today.” (15:50, quoting KPMG’s Stephanie Terrell)
• On Musk-Mania in AI:
  “Elon Musk is fitter than LeBron James because working 100 hour weeks. Holistic fitness, That’s a thing now?” (27:12, Jason)
• On Meta’s Antitrust Victory:
  “Did you kill last week? Did you kill anyone this week? Did you try to kill anyone this week?” (19:40, Brian)
• On the iOS Keyboard:
  “I used to be really, really good at the keyboard. I didn’t change, the keyboard changed.” (59:14, Jason)
• On Modern Movies:
  “Constraints are good. Constraints make better art. No constraints, shit art.” (67:39, Brian)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:04] - YouTube video podcast follow-up
• [04:42] - Tesla Diner and Elon Musk controversy
• [06:36] - Larry Summers / OpenAI resignation
• [08:21] - Nvidia/A.I. bubble
• [10:52] - Bitcoin’s crash & retirement fund risks
• [13:30] - Bezos’ Project Prometheus
• [15:12] - AI ROI is a fantasy
• [17:28] - Tesla robo-taxi drivers asleep
• [18:38] - Meta wins antitrust case
• [23:12] - Binance’s ongoing legal issues
• [24:45] - OpenAI’s dash “breakthrough”
• [27:31] - Grok’s Elon-sycophancy
• [29:08] - Intuit & ChatGPT partnership
• [31:02] - AI in K-12 and FERPA
• [33:30] - Math & reading decline in students
• [37:37] - Pornhub wants device-level age checks
• [39:08] - London thieves “Don’t want no Samsung”
• [40:05] - Streaming/media reviews
• [48:30] - Dave Bittner segment (camping, games)
• [59:02] - iOS keyboard rant
• [60:03] - Why movies don’t feel real anymore
• [67:45] - Thanksgiving reflections

Tone & Language

True to form, the hosts deliver a sardonic, no-filter dissection of the tech world, with dark humor and expletives peppered throughout. They’re skeptical of AI’s promises, scornful of billionaire posturing, and dismissive of tech’s latest blunders—even as they lament a dumber, more distracted world.

For First-Time Listeners

If you enjoy sharp, brutally honest commentary seasoned with nostalgia, swearing, and a healthy disrespect for tech hype, “Grumpy Old Geeks” delivers—this episode especially.

Stay grumpy!