← Habits of A Goddess
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Hello, Goddess. Welcome back to Habits of a Goddess Podcast. Today episode is a little bit different. I am still processing something that has recently happened in my life. I have a update that I wanted to share and I'm trying something new by expressing, expressing myself and this unexpected tragedy that has happened in my personal life. And I'm leaning into my own community that I've created here on Habits of a God's podcast. So some of you may have recently noticed on my personal page, but if you aren't following me or you're not aware, I recently lost my grandmother on March 1st. The beginning of the month started off very sad for me because my grandmother wasn't just a grandmother. She was like my mom. She raised me. I grew up with her. She was my role model. She was my best friend and she taught me so much in life. And one of the things that she taught me was to keep going forward in life and to have faith and to lean in to your own inner being. And I feel like there's so much more I can talk about. There's so many qualities that she shared that I feel like I've experienced, experience and have within my own self too. And I'm just trying to process the recent loss of her. So I'm asking you guys for the love and support in return. And this is very new for me. I never really shared or open up as much as personal matters, but I'm asking you guys for your love and support during my grieving time. I don't even know how to process this as I'm speaking. I can tell you a little bit about my grandmother. She was an amazing woman. She had 12 kids and my mom was the baby girl of 12 kids. And she loved to garden. She loved to plant fruits and vegetables and flowers. And she really liked working outdoors. She was very nurturing to growing and she enjoyed cooking. She enjoyed really helping and giving back to people, even if it was her last. Like she would give and pour into other people. She was always a upbeat type of person. She was very active and she enjoyed fishing. She was a really good fisher. She would catch and I'm not even exaggerating a hundred fishes, particularly like catfish and that was like her hobby. She enjoyed going to church. She was a great, classy dresser. Like her church outfits, she had the church hat and everything matched. She was a beautiful woman, beautiful skin. Just her smile was so. Her cheekbones, everything. My grandmother had a beautiful aura, beautiful spirit. She could talk to anyone. I feel like I get that from her. She really could pour into anyone she didn't have to know you, she didn't have to know your story, but she really, really could uplove others. She knew how to speak to your soul. She was so kind and generous, and I will forever cherish and hold her close to my heart. I don't know how I'm going to move forward, but I know that I have to continue moving forward with a grateful heart of having to know her. I am very grateful that she was pretty much active in my life leading up to her passing. We talked on the phone every. If it wasn't every day, it was every other day. And I'm so grateful that she was with me every milestone in my life on my journey, she was there for me. We shared so many beautiful memories. And by the time you hear this episode, we will be celebrating her having a celebration. And I want to stay authentic to my message on here. And what's my current reality? I honestly don't know how or when or what I'm gonna do in the next few weeks, but I wanted to make you guys aware of what's going on in my life. And I know a lot of you guys look forward to the podcast and it really helps and it uplifts your spirit and whatever it is that's going on in your life. And I want you to know that even the strong ones like myself, sometimes need that love and that extended support and just, you know, to keep me in mind of my time of grieving, of the loss of my grandmother. My grandmother name was Carrie Ivy. If I didn't mention that in the beginning. And she is just an amazing woman. I honestly love and adore her and I know she will forever live within me. I dedicated a episode to her and my mother last year on the podcast Honoring Mothers for Mother's Day. And I'm so grateful I did that because she's an extension of me. I'm extension of her. And Habits of a Goddess was created to help and empower women on their journey from all walks of lives. And whatever area in your life that you're going through, it could be something similar to what I'm going through, which is grieving of a lost parent or grandparent or just a lost loved one. And I am grieving, I. I feel like this is probably the first real, like, loss I've had. And even though I lost others significant in my life, but it was very young and I don't really have much memory. But my grandmother, she was very, very close. I was very close to her, and it's just A time in my life where I definitely lean into asking you guys just for support and just kind, you know, love. And I created this podcast and I know that moving forward in life, whatever this takes me or go, she will always be there with me in spirit. So thank you goddesses for listening to this message today. And I wrote something on my phone the day after she passed because I wasn't sure, I wasn't sure, like just how to deal with it. And so a lot of times I either journal or I write in my phone to release my emotions. And I'm encouraging anyone who may find themselves similar in my shoes of losing a loved one is to find a way to grieve and allow yourself to grieve and to release any emotions and feelings that you are currently feeling and just know that you're love and supported too. If you use this podcast as a way to support yourself through your journey of grieving, then I'm forever grateful to be part of that. And I do the same too as well. I go from within. So I want to share this, what I wrote, and maybe this can just help anyone who's listening to this message. Strength comes from within. Beauty comes from within. Love comes from within. Courage comes from within. Faith comes from within. All of those qualities you have, I have and my grandmother had within herself. She was more than a grandmother to me. She was a mom, my best friend, my biggest supporter, my confidante, and she was my role model. She taught me so much growing up. She was always willing to tag along in my adventures, starting with my first beauty pageant when I was 8 years old. I used to beg. My grandmother put me in beauty pageants, and finally she gave in and I competed. And she was always my biggest supporter. From beauty pageants to sports that I played when I was a cheerleader, when I ran track, she was always there. And even though she's not here with me on Earth, she will always be with me in spirit. I love my grandmother. I will always cherish our moments, our precious moments. And I know that I will continue to live on in her memory and my mom's memory, and also for myself. See, we don't know when our time is up here on Earth. But until then, live each day with gratitude. Live each day with strength. Live each day with love. Live each day with courage. Live each day with faith. Live each day with the mindset of everything is always working out for you and everything happens for a reason, and everything happens in divine timing. The impact that you have is up to you. You get to choose how you live your life. You are always choosing how to live your life. Subconsciously or not, you are always choosing how to live your life. Leave a lasting impression and an impact to those around you. You get to side how you want to show up each and every single day. So choose how you want to leave that impact behind. How do you want to show up in life? How do you want to create your own beautiful life? How are you going to heal, thrive and make an impact? So focus on your own journey and remember to be grateful. Remember to be happy. You only get one shot here on earth, one chance. And what you do between your birth date and the date that you transcend is up to you. As I'm speaking these words, I'm speaking to myself. But I know whoever is listening, you were meant to listen to this episode. You were meant to be in the present moment and just listen. I don't know who I'm speaking to, but take one day at a time. Focus on your health. Take care of yourself. Focus on your physical health, your mental health, your spiritual health. Focus on your beauty. Focus on your happiness. Focus on making you happy because you matter. Focus on your self love. Because how you experience yourself first is how others experience you too. So think beautiful thoughts. Think beautiful thoughts. Stay positive. Yes, we have challenges in our lives. This is one of my challenges, this is currently a challenge for me is to move forward with a grateful heart of my experience with my grandmother and to continue Shining on. I'm going to tell you something that happened to me the day after my grandmother passed. I went to lunch and the restaurant I had lunch at, it wasn't so great. The food I wasn't really wild about. But the waitress we had, she was so sweet. She was very kind. And I couldn't help but to notice that she had certain tattoos all over her. They really stood out to me. One of the tattoos that stood out was a rose. It was a really huge rose and it was on her left hand. And as she was talking with her hands, I noticed on her wrist there was a message that said shine on. And there was a diamond under that message that said shine on. And I just chuckled on the inside and I said to myself, the universe responded to me really quick. And what I mean by that? I was crying on and off all day. I was so, so sad that my grandmother had passed away the the previous day. And I was asking for a message or a sign of just my grandmother. And I got two. My mom name is Rose and my grandmother, her favorite perfume that I would purchase for her at least once every, every two or three months after I would replenish her. Her perfume was White diamond by Elizabeth Taylor. That was her favorite perfume. And I couldn't help but to laugh to see that the rose was a sign of my mom. And the message said, shine on. And that diamond was so big, the tattoo on her wrist was a huge diamond. And I said to myself, that's my grandmother telling me to shine on. And that's my mom in collaboration with my grandmother, telling me to shine on. So I have a duty to continue to shine on. Yes, I'm hurting right now. Yes, I'm grieving right now. And as I'm creating this message, and I don't know if I will upload it or not, because this is so out of my comfort zone, but this is a process of healing, and I'm trying something new, and I'm being open with you guys and letting you in and letting you know that I'm hurting is that I needed that message that day. I'm not gonna lie. The food suck. I didn't enjoy the food, but I said to myself, maybe that's what I needed to see that day. That was the whole agenda, was to see that message, was to continue to shine on. And I. I received it. I received it. So in life, there will always be signs. There will always be messages to tell us to continue to shine on, to continue down the path that is helping you elevate in life. The messages are always around you. You just have to be open to receiving them. And that day, I was open because I had prayed for that. I was open to receive a message from my grandmother. So thank you, goddesses. Thank you to the ones who have personally reached out. If you just so happen to follow me on my personal page. And every once in a while, I'll. I'll check and respond and. And say thank you, but just keep me in your prayers. And I love you. I know whoever's listening to this message, I can feel your presence. I know you are sending out positive love and support towards me and virtual hugs. I know it. I know it. So thank you for listening to this episode. I am going to take a pause on social media, but whenever I do come back, I look forward to going live with my lovely listeners and. And just catching up. And we have so much to catch up on, and I really look forward to that. So I really do enjoy our live Goddesses chats. So thank you so much. And I will see you guys on Habits of a Goddess page whenever I return. Until then, just keep me in your prayers and continue enjoying the Habits of a Goddess podcast and have a beautiful day.