Summary3 min read

Hacking Humans – "The Malware Mash!"

Podcast: Hacking Humans
Host: N2K Networks
Episode: The Malware Mash!
Date: October 31, 2025
Theme: Exploring deception, influence, and social engineering in the world of cybercrime, delivered with a clever, Halloween-inspired parody.

Episode Overview

This special Halloween episode, titled "The Malware Mash!", offers a creative twist by presenting the world of cybercrime through a parody of the classic "Monster Mash" song. Through playful lyrics and rapid-fire references, the episode breaks down the landscape of modern malware, botnets, and social engineering. The light-hearted tune is full of cybersecurity in-jokes and nods to notorious incidents, making it both educational and entertaining for listeners.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Malware and Botnet Culture—A Musical Tour

The episode begins with the host turning the famous "Monster Mash" into "The Malware Mash," weaving cybersecurity terminology and historical references throughout.
Lyrics evoke imagery of malware coming to life—“my malware threat score began to rise”—and gathering for a digital version of the monster party.

2. References to Infamous Malware and Cyber Threats

Stuxnet:
“From the stuxnet worm squirming toward the near east” (00:34)
Highlights the real-world impact of Stuxnet as a major turning point in cyberwarfare.
Script Kiddies and APTs:
“To the dark web souks where the script kitties feast, the APTs left their hum abodes to get installed from the rootkit payloads.” (00:36) Calls out the hierarchy of cybercriminals, from amateur 'script kiddies' to advanced, persistent threats (APTs).
Botnets, DDoS, and Ransomware:
“The botnets were having fun, the ddos had just begun, the viruses hit the darknet with ransomware yet to come; the keys were logging, phishing emails abound.” (00:47) Offers a rapid panorama of coordinated attacks, credential theft, and the prevalence of phishing.

3. Notorious Personalities and Events

Snowden and Russian Links:
“Snowdin on chains Backed by his Russian hounds.” (01:00) Creates a playful reference to Edward Snowden’s exile and alleged Russian involvement in cyber incidents.
Shadow Brokers and NotPetya:
“The shadow brokers were about to arrive with their vocal group the not Petya 5.” (01:09) Merges real operations (Shadow Brokers, NotPetya) with the musical party theme.

4. Humor, Warnings, and Community Shout-outs

Tongue-in-Cheek Advice:
“Don’t you dare download Flash. Just do the malware mash.” (01:48) Offers a security best practice in musical form, poking fun at Flash’s long-running vulnerabilities.
Historic Callback:
“When you get to my door, tell them Creeper sent you.” (01:41) Tips the hat to Creeper, the first computer worm, solidifying the episode’s deep historical referentiality.

5. Conclusion and Defender Empowerment

The song wraps up with a call to the cybersecurity community:
“For you defenders, this mash was meant to... Then you can malware mash and be a botnet smash.” (01:46) Framing the fight against malware as participatory and even fun.

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

Opening Parody:
“I was coding in the lab late one night when my eyes beheld an ear for my malware threat score began to rise and suddenly to my surprise it did the mash, it did the malware mash...” (00:04)
Classic horror motif reimagined for the cyber realm.
Stuxnet and the Dark Web:
“From the stuxnet worm squirming toward the near east to the dark web souks where the script kitties feast...” (00:34)
Advice with Humor:
“Don't you dare download Flash. Just do the malware mash.” (01:48)
Memorable blend of genuine advice and playfulness.
Historic Reference:
“When you get to my door, tell them Creeper sent you.” (01:41)
Clever nod to cybersecurity history.

Noteworthy Segments with Timestamps

00:04 — Opening parody verse, setting the Halloween/cybercrime theme.
00:34 — Name-drop of infamous malware and dark web actors.
00:47 — Enumeration of botnets, DDoS attacks, and ransomware.
01:09 — Mention of Shadow Brokers and NotPetya.
01:41 — Creeper worm reference for the security history enthusiasts.
01:48 — Humorous advice for personal cybersecurity hygiene.

Tone and Style

The episode maintains a tongue-in-cheek, playful tone aligned with the Halloween season while packing a surprising amount of technical and historical insight. The “Malware Mash” serves as both entertainment and subtle education, blending song parody with accurate references that resonate with cybersecurity professionals and enthusiasts.

In summary:
"The Malware Mash!" is a uniquely themed episode that brings together community, history, and common-sense cybersecurity advice—all wrapped up in a festive, irreverent package. It’s a lively, clever take that makes complex topics accessible and memorable through song and satire.

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Transcript1 lines

[00:02]
A
You're listening to the Cyberwire Network powered by N2K. I was coding in the lab late one night when my eyes beheld an ear for my malware threat score began to rise and suddenly to my surprise it did the mash it did the malware mash the malware mash it was a botnet smash it caught on cause of flash the malware mash it did the malware mash from the stuxnet worm squirming toward the near east to the dark web souks where the script kitties feast the apts left their humb abodes to get installed from the rootkit payloads they did the malware mash it was an adware smash it caught on cause of flash they did the malware mash the botnets were having fun the ddos had just begun the viruses hit the darknet with ransomware yet to come the keys were logging phishing emails abound Snowdin on chains Backed by his Russian hounds the shadow brokers were about to arrive with their vocal group the not Petya 5 they played the malware mash the malware mash it was a botnet smash it caught on cause of flash the malware mash they played the malware mash Somewhere in Moscow Vlad's voice did ring Seems he was troubled by just one thing he opened a shell then shook his fist and said Whatever happened to my turretrogen twist? It's now the mash it's now the malware mash the malware mash and it's a botnet smash it's now the mash it caught on cause of flash it's now the malware mash now everything's cool. Vlad's a part of the band and the malware ma the hit of the land. For you defenders. This mash was meant to when you get to my door, tell them Creeper sent you. Then you can mash Then you can malware mash and be a botnet smash. Don't you dare download Flash. Just do the malware mash Cyberwire good dear seagull, you infectious young soul. Cyberwire good. It.