Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson ask about siblings

Summary

Handsome – Episode Summary

Episode Title: Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson ask about siblings
Date: November 4, 2025
Hosts: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin
Special Guests (Question Contributors): Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson

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Overview

This laughter-filled episode of Handsome is all about siblings: the memories, the messiness, the love, and the surprises. The show’s three hosts—Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and Mae Martin—catch up after a long spell apart, share personal updates and stories, and enthusiastically field an on-air question from Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson, who bring warmth and nostalgia with their sibling inquiry.

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Highlights & Key Discussion Points

Reunion and Emotional Catch-up [02:05–09:46]

• The hosts remark on the rarity of being together in-person due to busy touring and filming schedules.
  • Mae Martin: “I can't believe we're together. I know. We haven't been in the same room for a while.” [02:29]
• Tig shares news about a film she produced (“Come See Me in the Good Light”, about Andrea Gibson & Megan Fowley), prompting a discussion on grief, legacy, and the heartbreaking presence of someone through their art.
  • Tig Notaro: “It was one of the first moments that made me feel like Andrea was actually gone… when somebody leaves behind so much art…” [04:17]
• The trio dives into how grief manifests, stages of grief (“Do you think those are legit, the stages of grief? Are they still around? People say, like, you go, like, have you hit angry yet?” – Mae Martin, [06:10]). They joke about “making it” as comics by naming their tours after their emotional states.

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Mae’s Therapy Retreat Adventure [10:00–29:38]

• Mae details a weeklong, tech-free therapy retreat, including mishaps (toad omens, smashing a “vase” [14:11]), grueling days, pillow-bashing, and raw emotional release.

  • Mae Martin: “I beat the shit out of this pillow for 45 minutes without stopping. And you're not allowed to stop. And I was...I went into some primal instinct.” [15:53]
  • After a full-moon walk and another toad encounter, Mae realizes the retreat’s importance (“I think it meant stay, but in a toad, like… And then…So I did stay. And I'm glad I did, because by the end, I'm okay.” [21:18])

• Takeaways: Bonding with strangers, the universality of shame and complicated family feelings, learning to discern “what’s mine and what’s other people’s”, and the eternal pull of farm-fresh biscuits.

• Memorable exchange:

  • Tig Notaro: “Look, I love a retreat, you know, I love breathing. I love meditation. I love veganism. I'm. I'm perfect for this.” [25:51]

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Fortune on Work, Family, and Grief [37:31–45:47]

• Fortune discusses her fulfilling filming gig—appreciating the joy and camaraderie on set.

  • Fortune Feimster: “It just feels like that pure like comedy experience where you're just like with a nice person.” [38:02]

• She opens up about family challenges, emotional vulnerability, and her mom’s health struggles: nine-hour airport delays, the toll of illness, and how comedy helps her compartmentalize.

  • Fortune Feimster: “I just think it all finally caught up to me where I was like, I'm sad about this, of course.” [41:57]

• Tig offers support, mentioning resources for families dealing with serious health issues and shares a comforting quote from Andrea Gibson’s documentary:

  • Tig Notaro: “‘Just call everything love. Everything you're feeling, everything that's happening, just call it love.’” [44:46]

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The Question: Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson on Siblings [46:24–68:02]

Introduction

Michelle and Craig’s charming video question asks:

“What's one of your favorite childhood memories with a sibling?” [47:38]

Hosts’ Reflections

• Potential Sibling Podcasts:

  • Tig’s brother works in sports radio; Fortune’s brothers run a fishing business. They joke about hypothetical family podcasts blending their different worlds.
  • Fortune: “I mean, I would try to make the fishing this more exciting because I'm like, what, we're just gonna hear about fishing?” [49:40]

• Favorite Sibling Memories

  • Mae: Mischievous week with her brother while parents were away (“as soon as the taxi pulled away to the airport... we got a can of whipped cream, came back, threw on the wrestling, and it was so joyful” [54:16]). As adults, she was touched watching her brother engage a tour guide in England.
  • Fortune: Family trip across Spain with her brother and mom (role reversals: “my mom was kind of the child”), recent sibling bonding weekends, and her older brother being emotionally supportive during their parents’ divorce:
    • Fortune: “He would have them [his college friends] write me letters... because he asked them to help look out for me.” [58:21]
  • Tig: The evolving relationship with her brother, especially seeing him as a loving “girl dad”:
    • Tig: “…to come back when she was turning one and to see my brother just loving getting her in her little dresses and putting bows in her hair...” [61:13].
      Stories about upending her brother’s Santa Claus belief and handling all the “trouble” as the younger sibling.

• On Family Support: Both Tig and Fortune reflect on their brothers’ reactions to their careers—accepting, supportive, proud in the “boyish” way.

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Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson’s Own Answer [66:09–68:02]

• Michelle: Their makeshift room divider, tossing a square pillow over the top, inventing “events” with different one/two-handed catches.
  • Michelle Obama: “I would throw the little, small square pillow that we had over the top and you would catch it...and we would have different kind of events. One would be the two hand catch, one would be the one hand catch, one would be the offhand catch.” [66:14]
• Craig: Christmas mornings in their small apartment, the anticipation and their parents’ creativity—makeshift chimney and fireplace, always waiting for Michelle to wake him up first to check for Santa.
  • Craig Robinson: “...she [their mom] created a makeshift chimney...corrugated paper that looked like a chimney and put it over our radiator...because she and dad painted...Because our dad was an artist...But you always got up first. And you never went out to check for Santa...unless you woke me up.” [67:25]

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Closing Reflections [68:02–end]

• The hosts bask in the wholesome nostalgia and humor of Michelle and Craig’s stories.
  • Tig: “That was so cool having Michelle and Craig ask a question.” [68:33]
• Joking about their “train wreck” appearances compared to the Obamas’ polish, and encouraging fans to share the episode, buy merch, and check out their respective comedy tours.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “I beat the shit out of this pillow for 45 minutes without stopping.” – Mae Martin [15:53]
• “Just call everything love. Everything you're feeling, everything that's happening, just call it love.” – Tig Notaro (quoting Andrea Gibson) [44:46]
• “As soon as the taxi pulled away to the airport...we got a can of whipped cream, came back, threw on the wrestling, and it was so joyful.” – Mae Martin [54:16]
• “He would have them write me letters...because he asked them to help look out for me and I, that would always be a memory of him that I really cherish.” – Fortune Feimster [58:21]
• “What, you think she doesn't look good in that? This is her color.” – Tig Notaro (on her brother and his daughter) [61:30]
• “I could listen to them tell stories all day long.” – Fortune Feimster (about Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson) [68:06]

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Timestamps of Key Segments

• 02:05 — Hosts Reunite & Personal Updates
• 04:17 — Andrea Gibson Film: Grief & Legacy
• 10:00 — Mae’s Therapy Retreat Story
• 15:53 — Primal Pillow Beating at the Retreat
• 25:51 — Tig on Loving Meditation, Veganism, and Retreats
• 37:31 — Fortune on Comedy Work & Family Health
• 44:46 — “Call It Love” (Andrea Gibson quote)
• 47:10 — Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson Question Intro
• 54:16 — Mae’s “Whipped Cream & Wrestling” Memory
• 58:21 — Fortune’s Letters from College Friends
• 61:13 — Tig Describes Her Brother as a “Girl Dad”
• 66:14 — Michelle Obama’s Pillow Toss Memory
• 67:25 — Craig Robinson’s Christmas Memory

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Tone & Vibe

The episode is honest, self-deprecating, and deeply warm. There’s a trademark blend of comedy, vulnerability, and genuine affection for family—both the ones you’re born into and the ones you find along the way. The hosts handle both the hysterical and the heartfelt, making this episode resonate with anyone who’s ever loved, or been exasperated by, a sibling.

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For further info, ticket links, and merch, check out handsomepod.com or the hosts’ individual websites.

Transcript

[Tig Notaro]

This is a Headgun podcast.

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[Fortune Feimster]

Cheers.

[May Martin]

Cheers.

[Tig Notaro]

Cheers. To you and you and you. Thank you. Thank you. We need to tell people. Oh, yeah, let's. Welcome, people.

[Fortune Feimster]

Welcome to the handsome pod. Welcome. I'm Fortune. Phoebe, sir.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm Tig Notaro.

[May Martin]

I'm May Martin.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes, we're together. We are together. And I just wanted to share. Classic May moment. That happened before we were filming.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Cheer.

[May Martin]

I think I was excited.

[Tig Notaro]

We are, too.

[Fortune Feimster]

What did you say?

[May Martin]

I said, I can't believe it.

[Tig Notaro]

I can't believe we're together. I know. We haven't. We haven't been in the same room for a while.

[Fortune Feimster]

A while. Because we've all been touring or working or filming or traveling. All kinds of stuff.

[May Martin]

I guess it is like for a kid, you know, like if he said, oh, it's only January. Christmas isn't for a whole year. They're like, well, it's. Christmas is never going to happen. And then it happens again, like, every year. And you're like, I can't believe it.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, it's Christmas. Well, that's what I was saying is you sounded like it was Christmas morning to you when you're like, I can't believe.

[May Martin]

It's good to see you guys.

[Tig Notaro]

It's good to see you guys.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then we have nothing to talk about.

[May Martin]

Well, anyway.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, I'd like to share that the Andrea Gibson and Meg F movie that I produced. Come see me in the good light. The trailer is out.

[May Martin]

I know it is, because when I came in this morning, Fortune was weeping because you guys had just watched the trailer, and I was like, I know what that's about, because I almost watched it in the car, and I thought, I can't.

[Tig Notaro]

You knew better.

[May Martin]

I can't cry right now.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I've already been. I've been so tired the last few days. Just overworked. And when I get overworked, I can cry at the drop of a hat. And you put a trailer like that in front of me.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I was like. I was.

[Sponsor Voice 1]

I'm fine.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm fine. And then I'm like, no, I'm not.

[Tig Notaro]

No, I'm not.

[May Martin]

This is what you need to.

[Fortune Feimster]

Looks beautiful.

[May Martin]

If you ever are trying to get an Oscar. Are you ever trying to do that?

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, boy, do I want to try to get an Oscar.

[May Martin]

You got to just stay up all night, and then you'll be in floods of tears.

[Fortune Feimster]

Honestly, that would be my best work.

[May Martin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Even if it's a comedy.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Fortune's unhinged again.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

It did look amazing. I cannot wait for it to come out.

[Tig Notaro]

Thanks. I'm so proud of it. It's very. As I was saying, I've seen that trailer, obviously, 10 million times, but the first time I saw it, I was so emotional, and for some reason, it was one of the first moments that made me feel like Andrea was actually gone, which I haven't. I, of course, know Andrea passed away, but I think when somebody leaves behind so much art, the way Andrea. I mean, it's just.

[May Martin]

And also, it's. It's. Yeah, it's. It's just pie. It's so packaged up so beautifully, and that it feels like there's a finality to it because of the nice music and everything.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

When I was saying the ticket, also, it's probably tough seeing Andrea so alive when you watch it that you just go, oh, my gosh, I can't believe that the. Yeah, that is not the case.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. And then today, when it. When, you know, everybody's. The trailer came out and it's posted, it's like. I mean, this whole situation has been such a compartmentalized joy because it's such a beautiful film about beautiful people. But, yeah, when the trailer came out today, it's like, God, Andrea is gone. And Andrea not just doesn't get to experience the movie coming out to the masses, but just Andrea being gone. It's like. But so anyway, I'm bittersweet. Yeah, it's very bittersweet.

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, I'm sure that's also the stages of grief, too, that that will keep unfolding for a while.

[May Martin]

Do you think those are legit, the stages of grief? Are they still around? People say, like, you go, like, have you hit angry yet? Like, do you have to hit all of them?

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know that you have to, but I think they roll out in different ways, you know?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. And I think, like, angry. I mean, it's not. I wasn't, like, turning desks over and, like, punching walls.

[Fortune Feimster]

That would be so wild if that's how you expressed yourself.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. That's not. Yeah. I think I have moments of anger. Like, I don't know if it's anger or just disappointment in myself. Like, with. Maybe I've mentioned before that I had this fantasy for a long time of creating, like, a tour with Andrea, a musician, a comedian, an artist. Like, just do such a. And so.

[May Martin]

And you're frustrated at yourself of just.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Where I'm like, why. Why was I putting that off? You know, it's something I would mention to Stephanie over the years, probably once, twice a year. I'd be like, I should put that thing together and be such a fun show. It's a show I'd want to see.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

I like a mix of disciplines. Yeah. I like that.

[Tig Notaro]

Like, at their best.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. And. Or not.

[Allstate Ad Voice]

Or not.

[Tig Notaro]

What a great show.

[May Martin]

What a great show.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my gosh.

[May Martin]

Mediocre comedian. It's called not at Our Best.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my gosh. Maybe that's my new tour with my new material.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's not my best.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay. I'm happy to be here.

[May Martin]

That's kind of like bulletproof, because then no one can review it badly. You go, I told you. I said this was not my place.

[Fortune Feimster]

You knew what you were coming for. Oh, boy.

[Tig Notaro]

That's my new. That was my new tour. I am actually in the process of trying to name my tour. Tell me about it, but, like, not at your best. I would be front row for that circus. Oh, my gosh.

[May Martin]

You know, my tour just went on sale and I had to name it before I've written it. So I, Yeah, I named it the Possum. I don't have any material about this.

[Fortune Feimster]

Possum, but I don't think you need to. Like, I think it can just be all encompassing. Yeah.

[May Martin]

Thematically about possums.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Don't ever mention a possum. That's all the better.

[May Martin]

That would be good. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Because people will. You'll never lose their attention. They'll be waiting for the possum story the whole time. Never comes. And then they'll think, did I miss something? And then they'll buy the album, see the specs. They'll be like, I'm sure there's a mention of opossum.

[May Martin]

Yeah. There'll be fan theories being like, well, if you take the second word out of every well.

[Tig Notaro]

And you know, there is a country music. I think I've told you this. A country music singer, George Jones, who is known as the Possum.

[May Martin]

I did not know that.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay. Why did that cause a hand dance?

[May Martin]

I was looking for a pen, got.

[Tig Notaro]

Over in the possum. Everyone took the pin.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love. I love that song.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my gosh. That's a new handsome dance, the Possum.

[May Martin]

Look at that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes. I love that everyone's getting ideas for their tour.

[Tig Notaro]

And I like that you're saying this is the toy.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, the, the writing the down of the George Jones.

[May Martin]

But I like that you're saying this is a new handsome dance. Like, we have many.

[Fortune Feimster]

We have so many handsome dances.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, we had the Electric Slide.

[May Martin]

We have the Electric Slide.

[Tig Notaro]

That's right, my friend. But now it's do the Possum.

[May Martin]

Speaking of expressing anger.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes.

[May Martin]

Boy, did I ever. Last week.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, you went to that thing.

[May Martin]

I'm back.

[Tig Notaro]

You're a changed person. Well, well, first of all, you're the number one star in Hollywood right now. So let's not.

[May Martin]

Well, let's be clear. I, I, let's be queer. Let's be queer. I was Briefly the number one search on IMDb, I think largely because people were like, what? What is this?

[Fortune Feimster]

They were curious. What is this?

[Tig Notaro]

That's an actual person.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's what that star thing is. The star rating is people looking you up.

[May Martin]

It's how many people are looking you up. So I think it was just people.

[Tig Notaro]

What did you think it was?

[Fortune Feimster]

I really didn't know, like, how many Things you're on. Or, or.

[May Martin]

Or it was God's butte or something.

[Fortune Feimster]

I. I really didn't know.

[May Martin]

Yeah, I think it's just the number of. And I. I think is people being like, does it have a penis or what?

[Fortune Feimster]

That's, that's the Google search. Does it have a penis?

[Tig Notaro]

That's the number one star meter search. Does it have a penis?

[May Martin]

But yeah, that was a weird time to give my phone away for a week.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Can I tell you about this, please? Cuz I got to.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm actually not interested. Is there something else we could talk about?

[May Martin]

What else is there?

[Fortune Feimster]

I think you have to listen.

[Tig Notaro]

All right, let's hear it.

[May Martin]

Well, also, I don't want to, like, I'm supposed to, you know, guard the experience closely and not like overshare it. And I don't want to, you know, you sign an NDA.

[Tig Notaro]

Tell us everything.

[May Martin]

Okay. Basically. So, no, I won't say where I went, but I went to like a. It's a non profit therapy retreat. Part of me was hoping, like, there'll be a masseuse.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, like a hot person. You can get down.

[May Martin]

No, no, no. Fortune.

[Tig Notaro]

That's an interesting ins.

[Fortune Feimster]

May likes the fog.

[May Martin]

It is 8:45.

[Fortune Feimster]

Am I wrong?

[Tig Notaro]

I don't know May's personal business in that way.

[Fortune Feimster]

I thought you were like, wouldn't this be fun if while I'm trying to learn about myself, I also.

[Allstate Ad Voice]

May.

[Tig Notaro]

Tell us what happened. Tell us what happened.

[Fortune Feimster]

Thank you.

[May Martin]

So I get there and, well, the first thing that happened was the night before, a toad hopped over my foot.

[Tig Notaro]

So I thought, yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

What does that mean?

[May Martin]

Good omen. Good omen?

[Fortune Feimster]

No.

[May Martin]

Is it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Do we know that as a fact? Is that a Mayfest?

[Tig Notaro]

Well, first things first. A toad hopped over my foot.

[May Martin]

So I was in the parking lot of the Quality Inn the night before. I was like, okay, I'm nervous.

[Fortune Feimster]

Let's stop. Yeah. Why did you have to sit?

[Tig Notaro]

Of course a toad hopped over your foot in the room at the Quality Inn.

[May Martin]

It was grimy and there were a lot. All the trucks parked there had like Trump signs on. And there was a big group of guys drinking in the parking lot.

[Fortune Feimster]

Why did you stay there?

[Tig Notaro]

You know Trump.

[May Martin]

I wanted to be close to the place because you got to be there. So I had to fly to. Well, I won't say.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah, don't say.

[May Martin]

But then I'm in the parking lot of the Quality Inn having a cigarette.

[Tig Notaro]

Sounds terrible.

[Fortune Feimster]

It was not Quality.

[May Martin]

Well, it was. It was scary.

[Tig Notaro]

This is the retreat.

[May Martin]

No, no, no.

[Tig Notaro]

Five days of frogs playing leapfrog while you smoke in the parking lot.

[Fortune Feimster]

Sounds like a dicey start.

[May Martin]

Yeah, it was a dicey start. So I'm having a cigarette and a little toad hops over my foot. So I think.

[Tig Notaro]

Got it the first time.

[May Martin]

Yeah, I think I'm in the right place. The next morning, I get my Uber. I. I drive up the path to this retreat center and it's like. It's a bit like summer camp, A bit like hospitally. And I have a little monastic little room with like a single bed. And anyway, I go check that. I don't know.

[Tig Notaro]

A monastic.

[Fortune Feimster]

I actually don't either. What is it?

[Tig Notaro]

Really? You aren't going to speak up?

[May Martin]

You were gonna let it slide?

[Fortune Feimster]

Maybe. Well, if it was, I didn't want to be two against one. And now it's two against one.

[May Martin]

Yeah, monastic. Like monk. Like. Oh, like a monk.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay. Yeah, we totally knew that. Anyway, monastic.

[May Martin]

So I go in, I give my phone in and I go. I'm trying to make friends. I'm go, this is crazy. Can't believe we're doing this. Turn on. There's a one woman there. And I knock a really expensive vase over with an orchid in it. And it's.

[Tig Notaro]

It must have been expensive if it was pronounced vase.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, vases.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, that you can do. Those are the disposable.

[May Martin]

You would say vase.

[Fortune Feimster]

We're Southern, so we wouldn't say vase. Yeah, vase.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm not gonna.

[Fortune Feimster]

You're fancy. I would say vase.

[May Martin]

Okay. Because y' all are fancy.

[Fortune Feimster]

Canadian.

[Tig Notaro]

You're not Americans.

[Fortune Feimster]

We get it. Ugh. You're from so.

[May Martin]

So far I've had the toad and then I've knocked over and smashed a vase with an orchid as my, like, intro. Anyway, it was crazy. I think overall it was. It was good. I had a lot of time to think and. But it was pretty grueling. It was like 9am or get up at 7am and then do this program until 9pm I won't go into huge detail, but there.

[Fortune Feimster]

And you paid for this? I paid for it a lot, I'm sure.

[May Martin]

You know what? It wasn't.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, go.

[May Martin]

It wasn't crazy. And you know what? It's cool because it's a non profit. 20% of people there are there on scholarships, so.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay, I like that.

[Tig Notaro]

Are they equally as miserable and do they have to pretend that they're not because they're there for.

[May Martin]

It felt like the people who came because they have problems accessing their emotions and want to rediscover a sense of play, they blossomed. I have no problem accessing the emotions. If anything, I need like. Yeah, so. But you know what was. I'll say my favorite part was I come in one morning, there's a pillow and a baseball bat, and I spent.

[Tig Notaro]

You love that.

[May Martin]

I love.

[Tig Notaro]

You love a pillow and a baseball bat.

[May Martin]

I beat the shit out of this pillow for 45 minutes without stopping. And you're not allowed to stop. And I was. I went into some primal instinct.

[Tig Notaro]

Wait, this is something that was an.

[May Martin]

Exercise to do there in the room with everyone. We all had earplugs in and I'm beating the shit out of this pillow.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my gosh. Crying.

[May Martin]

Crying. Screaming like it was wild. I lost my voice. My hands were bleeding. Like, I was like, oh, yeah, I'm pissed.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow.

[May Martin]

But did you know I never express anger? Like, I haven't raised my voice since I was about 10.

[Fortune Feimster]

Really?

[Allstate Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And do you think that was just like an accumulative anger just come finally coming out, or were you angry about something specific? You know how to tell us somebody specific.

[Craig Robinson]

You.

[Fortune Feimster]

So you were able to do it.

[May Martin]

Was that fucking pillow?

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, as long as you were able to pinpoint what it was, I think that's helpful.

[May Martin]

It was multiple things, but, yeah, we did. And we did a lot of that kind of thing. 1. At one point halfway through the week, I was pretty close to leaving. I packed up my little bag. I thought, you know what this feels like?

[Tig Notaro]

Little cowboys little bag.

[May Martin]

And when I say little, it was massive.

[Tig Notaro]

Of course. Piano in it.

[May Martin]

No. No synths allow.

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[Fortune Feimster]

You know what's not smart?

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[May Martin]

No. No laptop, no phone.

[Tig Notaro]

That's on their rules. No synthesizers.

[Fortune Feimster]

Were you just like, I need to check in on how Wayward's doing on Netflix. I gotta get out of here.

[May Martin]

I was just like, what am I doing here? Like, this is supposed to be such an exciting moment in my life and I'm here sobbing like in the woods with strangers. Like I'm. Is this punitive? You know what I mean?

[Tig Notaro]

Right when you first arrived though, were you like, hey guys, I'm so happy to be here.

[May Martin]

Oh, a hunch. 100%, yeah. And, and I will say I'm glad I stuck it out because by. Because that night I thought, I'm gonna leave. I couldn't sleep. And then I got up and it was a full moon. I went walking through the woods. I saw deer, I saw a rabbit. And then I find this stone labyrinth. And I actually thought about Andrea, because I was thinking, where are my guides at? And I was thinking about my grandma, and I thought, you're around. I get to the middle of this labyrinth of stones, and in the middle is a big live toad that's just riveting at me in the moonlight. And I'm wait, this is after you've.

[Tig Notaro]

Already had a toad hop over you.

[May Martin]

Yes.

[Tig Notaro]

You see another one.

[May Martin]

Thank you. Yes.

[Tig Notaro]

In the middle of the swirlydew.

[Fortune Feimster]

Because you know what that means.

[Tig Notaro]

No.

[May Martin]

Oh, nobody does.

[Tig Notaro]

When you find a frog in the middle of a swirlydew in the woods, what does it mean?

[May Martin]

I think it meant stay, but in a toad, like. And then. So I did stay. And I'm glad I did, because by the end, I'm okay. The main thing I took away, there's just 40 people in this group. All different demographics. People in their 70s, 40s, all the ages and different genres.

[Tig Notaro]

No, keep going.

[May Martin]

Okay. As I said, I'm like, why did I pick those two?

[Fortune Feimster]

46, 50.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay. Any twenties?

[May Martin]

I don't think there were any twenties actually yet.

[Tig Notaro]

Anyone in their hundreds?

[Fortune Feimster]

1, 102 year old. She's like, I have some things to work on before I get out of here.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm really into self help.

[Fortune Feimster]

I just.

[Tig Notaro]

A few more things.

[Fortune Feimster]

I express my anger. You're like, you're 102. I think you're just fine.

[May Martin]

Yeah. And by the end of it, I was like, oh, we're all just toddlers. Like, we. I felt really bonded to these people. By the end of it, I was.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like, oh, you did?

[May Martin]

I did. By the end. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Just the program was.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

You're going through crazy shit and you're not allowed to talk about your work.

[Tig Notaro]

Or you couldn't promote Wayward.

[Fortune Feimster]

I couldn't promote Wake Word or the Handsome.

[Tig Notaro]

Or your dog.

[Fortune Feimster]

I couldn't.

[Tig Notaro]

Or my dog.

[May Martin]

I could not.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my God. What about Fortune's tour?

[Fortune Feimster]

I know. Taking care of biscuits.

[Tig Notaro]

What if you were talking about your friend's podcast?

[Fortune Feimster]

Handsome. Yeah. You know what I find helpful also?

[May Martin]

Nobody recognized me except one woman on day one. They had just said, you're not allowed to talk about your work. And then this woman goes, are you that comedian? And then I was.

[Tig Notaro]

But you went in, like, at the beginning of the whatever retreat like what? 4,000 on star meter. And then you came out number one.

[May Martin]

I don't check my star meter.

[Fortune Feimster]

Dig's over there.

[May Martin]

Refreshing, refreshing.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm following you on imtv. She tracks everyone's star.

[Tig Notaro]

What if you found that out? That was really sad.

[Fortune Feimster]

Do you have a spreadsheet?

[May Martin]

Or we could just test you. You go, Tom Hanks.

[Fortune Feimster]

You're 12.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

I was obsessed with people's star meters. Oh, my God.

[May Martin]

So, yeah, overall, by the end, we were. We were tight. And who was your favorite person? Well, I gotta say, because in. In the beginning, I was the only queer person and I was the only person who smoked. And so once a day, I'd go and have my cigarette.

[Tig Notaro]

You're allowed to smoke there.

[May Martin]

You're allowed to go and have your smoking. Let me say, by day three, a lot of women in their 50s and 60s going, you gotta smoke. Can I bum one?

[Tig Notaro]

Were they flirting with you?

[May Martin]

No.

[Fortune Feimster]

This needed a break. Yeah.

[May Martin]

We were bonded. So I think there were a handful of people I got. I got tight with for sure.

[Tig Notaro]

Here's my question.

[Fortune Feimster]

And you got hooked on cigarettes.

[Tig Notaro]

Tell me how each of us would do individually at this.

[Fortune Feimster]

Good question, too. Thank you. Thank you.

[Tig Notaro]

I always wait for that from you. Like, picture fortune there, beating that pillow.

[May Martin]

I can't imagine that. I think you both. I had to totally switch off any sense of irony about it.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, yeah.

[May Martin]

I was like, I paid for this. I'm here.

[Fortune Feimster]

I gotta commit and commit to the experience.

[Tig Notaro]

I wonder what I was doing when you were beating that pillow.

[May Martin]

There was one day I beat it.

[Allstate Ad Voice]

With a sledgehammer instead of.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wait. It was multiple days of beating this pillow.

[May Martin]

There was a lot of beating.

[Fortune Feimster]

Wow, this must have been a thick pillow.

[May Martin]

A lot of visualizations, though, as well.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I just see it going straight through the pillow into the floor.

[Tig Notaro]

What do you think you were doing when Mae was beating that pillow?

[Fortune Feimster]

I was crying myself because I was so tired, like the last five days.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And when I get overly tired, like we talked about, I am weepy.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm just a dumb bitch.

[Tig Notaro]

That's fun.

[May Martin]

Excuse me. Don't talk about your friend like that.

[Tig Notaro]

Don't talk about my friend like that.

[Fortune Feimster]

So, yeah, I was probably crying.

[May Martin]

I think you guys, if you could get out of your own way, like, if you were just like, there's no one I know here, I may as well just go for it. I think you can get a lot out of it.

[Fortune Feimster]

I could commit to it. Experience like that.

[May Martin]

I think so.

[Fortune Feimster]

I don't know about this one?

[May Martin]

There were things. I don't either. Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

This one's leaving on day one.

[Tig Notaro]

Look, I love a retreat, you know, I love breathing. I love meditation. I love veganism. I'm. I'm perfect for this.

[Fortune Feimster]

How was the food? That would be my determining fact.

[May Martin]

So good, actually.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, biscuits.

[May Martin]

Farm fresh, to be honest.

[Tig Notaro]

Farm fresh biscuits.

[May Martin]

Farm fresh biscuits.

[Fortune Feimster]

Sign me up.

[May Martin]

What was like a revelation to me was what I already knew going in, which was like, if you sleep eight hours a night, you eat three meals a day of fresh food and you don't look at your phone, you're gonna feel good.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay. And you did.

[May Martin]

I felt great. Got back home, right back into the old patterns for sure. But I took a lot from it.

[Tig Notaro]

What'd you take?

[May Martin]

Well, that we're all the same. I took a bag of farm fresh biscuits. I snuck them out.

[Fortune Feimster]

What was the takeaway?

[May Martin]

The takeaway? Well, it's still percolating, but I think.

[Tig Notaro]

Like.

[May Martin]

I think it was identifying what's mine and what's other people's, you know, releasing some. Some shame. Some, you know, shame you knew you.

[Tig Notaro]

Had or shame where you're like, that's the thing.

[May Martin]

That's the thing. We all know it. We all know. And everyone's the same. That it was really reassuring. Everyone is like, I'm mad at my parents, but also I love my parents. And I feel guilt and I feel, you know, I don't think I'm attractive enough or smart enough. Like, we are all the. Everyone has those, I think. Do we?

[Fortune Feimster]

Probably, to some extent.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Like, just complicated.

[Tig Notaro]

Sort of.

[May Martin]

Little toddlers.

[Craig Robinson]

For sure.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah. So that was nice, I guess, to.

[Tig Notaro]

Realize and all of those things that your personality and body, everything kind of just becomes figures to, like, get you through life. And you're picking apart all that and.

[May Martin]

Being like, what's my authentic. Yeah, like, you know.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah. There was one moment where I thought you guys would have been like, I'm out, which was. Oh, we'd had a really intense morning. I was feeling like, I'm not sure about this. And then they said, don't worry. We're gonna have a really fun afternoon. And then it was a lot of.

[Tig Notaro]

Like, square dancing, pretty much.

[May Martin]

It was a lot of, I'm staying for that. Like, play.

[Tig Notaro]

Me too.

[May Martin]

Like, like play. And. And then they go, guys, you have 45 minutes. We're gonna meet in the classroom, and you guys are gonna put on a sketch comedy show. And I thought, bullet in my brain.

[Fortune Feimster]

That is painful.

[May Martin]

After I've just Been so raw beating up this thing. I'm like, I am fucked up. And now I gotta do a comedy show.

[Tig Notaro]

Put your wig on.

[May Martin]

It was wild. Yeah, but.

[Fortune Feimster]

And you did it.

[May Martin]

Oh, I did it. And it, you know.

[Fortune Feimster]

Were you funny?

[May Martin]

No, not remotely. Not remotely. But everyone else was. And it was really nice seeing how. And I thought I am lucky that my job involves a sense of play and like, that's not hard for us to access, I feel.

[Tig Notaro]

So the other people, they made you laugh and they were.

[May Martin]

Yeah, they were. Because we. We were playing the teachers and playing each other like we were. And people were really going for it and that. Because it was seeing, like people in their 70s who were. There's a someone, you know, from all different places.

[Fortune Feimster]

102 year old was hilarious.

[Tig Notaro]

She was hilarious to see her fake mustache.

[May Martin]

Anyway, I feel, I also, I feel like I only know my experience of it, which was overall very positive and I'm grateful for it. And I've noticed, as I've told the this week, I've got more cynical and I'm going for the laughs. Whereas when I first got back, I told my roommate all about it and I.

[Tig Notaro]

The raccoon.

[May Martin]

Yeah, I told the raccoon all about it.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

And he said that I. He's like, oh, it sounds like you had a great time. And then he heard me retell it like four days later. He was like, when you got back, you loved it. And now the more you tell it, you're going for the punchline.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's interesting, isn't it? Oh, I wonder what that is.

[May Martin]

Yeah, I think I'm just used to real growth.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Now tell me this. Was there somebody there at the retreat where you're like, whoa, they are in it and believe in it. And they are like, you know. Cause if you decide I'm going with this and I'm gonna get something out of this. And yeah, no cynicism, just.

[May Martin]

Yeah, yeah. I'll tell you later.

[Tig Notaro]

Was it so fun to watch that person?

[May Martin]

It was. The whole thing was riveting. I'll say. Like, if I ever got in my head, I thought, well, there's all these people I would never have met and they are having wildly different experiences and committed and it was riveting.

[Tig Notaro]

Was there somebody that drove you insane and then you ended up going, oh, I understand their trauma and their life and I get it.

[May Martin]

I'll say that was part of the program where they said, if there's anyone who sort of triggered you when, you know, based on pretty much nothing. Because we were exploring, like, negative transference. Like, in your life, there's people that just make you, like. And it's like, is that my. What is that? So I was thinking, oh, there's this guy that is. I don't know.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Like.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, you don't know why, or you did know why. He's like.

[May Martin]

He's only really talking to the other men. And, like, he's. He said a couple of things that. Anyway, so I write it down, and then they go, okay, now you're gonna go tell that person to their face.

[Fortune Feimster]

I would hate that. I know.

[May Martin]

Cause I'm a people pleaser.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, me too.

[Tig Notaro]

So you went and told this guy.

[May Martin]

I had to sit in front of him with a T shirt I know you would love. It was juicy.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's your jam.

[May Martin]

And the person who's being told that is not allowed to respond. They just have to be like. And so I. And it's, like, structured like a script. So I'm like. I experienced you as, you know, potentially judging me because of this thing that you said about. And this thing, and blah, blah, blah.

[Tig Notaro]

Meanwhile, your life is going nuts online. You're the number one star in the world. But go ahead.

[May Martin]

I'm in the woods with your star meter.

[Tig Notaro]

Your star meter ticking up. Tig. Tracking the entire picture. And you're like, the. The second I saw you, my skin was crawling.

[May Martin]

And then, you know. And then I say, and that is a pattern that I got from this place. And I take responsibility for my experience and stuff. And it was fascinating. And. And he's just like, okay. And, of course. Yeah. By the end, we're hugging and. And. And we were so much closer having had that exchange, like, by the end. Yeah. And I thought, nobody's gonna have a problem with me. Let me tell you.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, several people.

[Tig Notaro]

No one could stand you.

[May Martin]

Let me tell you.

[Fortune Feimster]

Everyone, least favorite person there.

[Tig Notaro]

You were number one on the star meter of.

[Fortune Feimster]

Two's not bad. How many people are we talking about?

[May Martin]

Well, you were only allowed to.

[Tig Notaro]

There were four people there.

[Fortune Feimster]

You were only allowed two. That's good. They had a limit.

[Tig Notaro]

Here's my final question. I could talk to you about this forever.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

If Fortune and I were like, oh, my gosh, this is so interesting. We really want to go. Can you go with a friend?

[May Martin]

No, you'd have to.

[Tig Notaro]

That was a good question, too.

[May Martin]

That was a great question. You could lie about it, because what.

[Tig Notaro]

If we were in the same room beating a pillow?

[Michelle Obama]

I know.

[May Martin]

You know, you guys would be like. You'd be winking at each other.

[Tig Notaro]

Get that pillow.

[May Martin]

Get the pillow. No, I think you. Yeah. Knowing that, you know, and.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay.

[May Martin]

But man, it was, it was fascinating.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Yeah. All right. Look at you.

[May Martin]

I feel, I hope I've been respectful about the experience and.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, you haven't. But. But here's the thing. I think it's awesome that even if, even if you didn't leave with what you hope that you left with.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

That you left with something. I really did. And like got your mind going and that you're wanting to explore who you are and make changes and.

[Fortune Feimster]

And you ate some good food.

[May Martin]

I felt really proud of myself by the end.

[Tig Notaro]

Farm Fresh Biscuits Farm Fresh Biscuits.

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So what are you waiting for?

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[Fortune Feimster]

Give it to my friend.

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[Tig Notaro]

How are you? Fortune?

[May Martin]

Yeah. What's going on? Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, I'm fine. I'm fine. Yeah, it was, was I'm, I'm filming so I'm busy with that. But truly it's so fun that like on like I was filming LA last night just thinking I'm having the best time.

[Tig Notaro]

Really. It's amazing.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. I love Will and we get along so great and like just cackle. We just make each other laugh so hard. And I was sitting across from him on this bus last night and just, we both just kind of like this is so fun.

[May Martin]

Oh man.

[Fortune Feimster]

So it just feels like that pure like comedy experience where you're just like with a nice person.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. So nice.

[Fortune Feimster]

Good values and it treats people kindly.

[May Martin]

Oh that's the dream.

[Fortune Feimster]

Every. So everyone around us is pleasant and happy and we in between takes go to the. They call it video village. You get. I'm just saying that for our audience and, and sit there and we laugh with everyone around there and then go back to, to, to on set laugh there. Which I really needed cuz I just was really. You know I, I've just been a little emotional lately. Just.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

I think about my mom has been kind of finally catching up to me. Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yes. But that, that is amazing that you have this place you can go where you kind of, you. Well with you have to compartmentalize, you have to be present and you're laughing and. And you got farm fresh biscuits.

[Fortune Feimster]

I did not get farm fresh biscuits. But yeah, I went. I hadn't seen my mom in like a month and a half because of. Of work. And then I went and she had not had a good week and has just been very nauseous and just like really tired. And I was like, I'm gonna get swing through there. Just like two days. I was stuck in the Boston airport for nine hours.

[May Martin]

I was following this on. On Instagram. What the hell happened?

[Fortune Feimster]

I had a show in Boston which was amazing. It was so incredible. At the wang.

[Tig Notaro]

Were you posting it on stories or something?

[Fortune Feimster]

I just a couple pictures. Like here. Four hours in, we deplaned twice. The airport was a mess because there was a storm coming through. So my first delay was that the plane delayed coming in. Then we got on the plane, taxied out, sat forever. Then they're like, the windshield wiper's broken. Go back in.

[May Martin]

That's it. Then you're like, shield wiper.

[Tig Notaro]

That's what I can't stand. When a flight is like, we're having mechanical or tech, whatever problems. I'm like, what is it? Is it the windshield wiper or the wind? Let's get specific.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

That is really crazy.

[Tig Notaro]

But it's like, don't go far because.

[Fortune Feimster]

We, you know, and so you can't really like, you can't go like have a, you know, meal or something. And then we get back on it finally again. Now we're like five hours into this and then we taxi out. Then like now bad news. Now this has happened. We go back in and then finally they gave us a new aircraft. But it was there for nine hours.

[Tig Notaro]

What if on the side of the plane you realized it said student flyer?

[Fortune Feimster]

Then I'm. Then I'm grateful for the nine hour delay that they could get a real pilot. But.

[May Martin]

Did you bond with any of the other people?

[Fortune Feimster]

I just like staring in dispay. I was just. So when I got to the airport, I was on my. I just was so tired. Yeah. That I called my mom. This is when I know I'm beyond.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I just am crying to my mom. And therefore I put my hoodie on. People are recognizing me and I'm turning my head and I just look like a. This is like. So I'm already ready to get to her.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

To just like. Like shut it all down and not have to, you know, just like.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Not be anything. Just like lay on my mom's. Couch and just chill.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And then I'm stuck for nine hours, so I'm already in this bad space, and it just gets. So I get to the point where I'm just, like, catatonic, and then I finally land, and I go to my mom's and we have a late dinner. But, yeah, I just. Just, you know, it's. She. She's always in good spirits, but you can tell it's, like, taking a toll on her. And the chemo's not doing what we want it to do, and you just kind of go. I just think it all finally caught up to me where I was like, I'm sad about this, of course. And, you know, she's like, I don't want you to worry about me. And.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's impossible not to, though, so that's tough. Fortune.

[Fortune Feimster]

Where's that pillow?

[May Martin]

Yeah, get. Get a bat and a pillow.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. So I'm just, you know, just. I want her to hopefully that. Thank you. I just want to be okay. And, you know, it's. It's still. She's still fighting the good fight. I mean, she's not going anywhere right now, but you start to. To think about the what ifs? And. Yeah, what if this doesn't do anything ever.

[Tig Notaro]

Thanks, Thomas.

[Fortune Feimster]

And what does that look like? And thank you, Thomas. And. But it was nice to just be around her. And, you know, it's just that. That thing of, like, realizing your parents are getting older, and this is sometimes what happens with that journey. So. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I mean, just putting it out there, and, you know, there's people. I don't know if you or your mother would be open to it, but there are people that can like, insert themselves into the conversation with a family who's dealing with serious health issues and having a third person to talk to. I met this woman, runs this organization that does this, and I reached out to her when Andrea was ill and just like, you know, like, how do you.

[May Martin]

Yeah, because it's such a universal experience, but when you're in it, you're like, what do I say? How.

[Tig Notaro]

How do we handle this?

[May Martin]

How do we handle this? Yeah.

[Allstate Ad Voice]

What's.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. And, I mean, I can get you her number, and it's just something to keep in your back pocket until. Or if you want it. But it's like, it's so crucial to just to keep conversations open, and I'm just endlessly floored by the people that do that kind of work. Yeah. But anyway, it's just something I wanted to put out There. And that's really just.

[May Martin]

It's a lot to navigate on your own.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. I think at first I was just kind of like, this is what is happening. These are the facts. She has this. We're gonna get through it. And then I think this. I was just like, this isn't good.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

You know, as simple as that sounds, I was just like, oh, yeah. And yeah. But anyway, we have to get to our question, but I. It'll be okay. And, yeah, I will.

[Tig Notaro]

It will not.

[Fortune Feimster]

Keep compartmentalizing and just face it.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Hit the pillow.

[May Martin]

Hit the pillow. Cry.

[Tig Notaro]

One of the things, and this is kind of abstract, but it's. It was such a beautiful moment in Andrea's documentary where their ex girlfriend, who is one of their best friends, Bethy, was going through an intense experience with her father and called Andrea in the middle of it, and Andrea said, just call everything love. Everything you're feeling, everything that's happening, just call it love. And Bethy said that when she applied that to the moment. And again, it's a little abstract, but it's coming from a poet. But I think it's a really beautiful thing in hard moments to. To call everything love.

[May Martin]

Yeah, I like that.

[Tig Notaro]

Again, I don't know if you remember that moment, but yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

But yeah, I will try that. Thank you.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Should we kiss? Should we all call it love? Oh, well, thank you. How do I cry again?

[Tig Notaro]

It's tough.

[Fortune Feimster]

I haven't cried with you guys since the last time I saw you on the.

[May Martin]

It's. When we're here, this couch.

[Tig Notaro]

We haven't seen each other in person.

[May Martin]

Also, so it feels like a therapy couch. It feels like you're our couple's therapist.

[Fortune Feimster]

But we do have to get to our question because it's very exciting. It is.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes, it is very exciting.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. This is such a cool honor to have our question askers that we have today. Yes, I know.

[May Martin]

We're going big.

[Tig Notaro]

We have. We've gone really big today. We're basically at the top of big.

[May Martin]

We're kind of at this IMDb IMDb we've gone high. We've gone high.

[Tig Notaro]

I mean. I mean, that's a little teaser. We've gone high.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, not long teaser from we've gone high.

[May Martin]

We've gone high at all. Today's question askers are siblings who grew up together in Chicago. One sibling is a lawyer and author who served as the first lady of the United States. The other currently serves as the executive director of the national association of Basketball Coaches. Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson Are asking today's question.

[Fortune Feimster]

How cool. What an honor.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes.

[Michelle Obama]

Hey, Handsome Craig Robinson and my little sister Michelle here, we host a new podcast called IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson. We are such big fans of Handsome. You guys keep us laughing every week. Now, we know you all have siblings yourselves, but we don't know enough about them. Here is our question.

[Craig Robinson]

What's one of your favorite childhood memories with a sibling?

[Fortune Feimster]

Aw, that's so cool.

[May Martin]

That's crazy.

[Fortune Feimster]

And of course, their video is shot. Gorgeous.

[Tig Notaro]

I was gonna say that's the most.

[Fortune Feimster]

Professional video question we've gotten. Really? They both look so good.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my gosh.

[May Martin]

Oh, I aspire.

[Tig Notaro]

Look at us. We're just, like, all over the place. Train wrecks.

[May Martin]

Train wrecks.

[Fortune Feimster]

I have wrinkles, wrinkled shirt, each other every episode. I'm like, I could have steamed that shirt.

[May Martin]

Oh, that's cool.

[Fortune Feimster]

They have a podcast together. Yeah, I've been seeing. I've listened to it. It's really cool. And I've seen a lot of clips on the old Tick Tock and. And they had Barack on there as a guest.

[Sponsor Voice 1]

Hard.

[Tig Notaro]

How'd they get him?

[May Martin]

What would it be like if you guys had a podcast with your sibling? Like, what would you would.

[Tig Notaro]

Oh, my gosh.

[May Martin]

What would that dynamic be?

[Tig Notaro]

Well, my brother comes from sports radio.

[May Martin]

Oh, no.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. So this is like his world. He's podcasted.

[Fortune Feimster]

He.

[Tig Notaro]

He does play by play.

[May Martin]

Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

He does all.

[May Martin]

Well, we're coming at.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, well, let's follow that through.

[May Martin]

Well, we're coming up on. Well, we're coming up on a big season here. We got a couple of rounds coming. Couple of rounds coming in fast.

[Fortune Feimster]

Couple of rounds coming in fast.

[May Martin]

A couple of rounds coming in fast.

[Tig Notaro]

And no, no, slow rounds coming in.

[May Martin]

Of course, coming up from behind. We got a couple slow rounds as well. Okay, so you maybe do a sports.

[Tig Notaro]

Well, I would imagine it might be my. My initial response or thought would be it'd be my brother telling me about sports, me having a bunch of questions.

[May Martin]

I like that.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. All right, so I guess maybe I'll pitch that to Headgum.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, my brothers own a fishing business together called Southern Kingfish Ess association, so they do some podcasting stuff. No way. From fishing tournaments. Wow.

[May Martin]

But where would you fit and are they coming?

[Fortune Feimster]

I mean, I would try to make the fishing this more exciting because I'm like, what, we're just gonna hear about fishing?

[Tig Notaro]

I am truly one of those people that could watch and this is a bad vegan, but I could. I Love fishing shows.

[May Martin]

It's pretty thrilling.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's their whole world. They. And they throw tournaments themselves, so they live stream a lot of these tournaments and I don't know if they actually like do commentary or anything, but yeah, I guess I would add a little flavor to that fishing world.

[Tig Notaro]

You just get in there and cuss.

[Fortune Feimster]

I would know nothing of. That's not what all I do.

[Tig Notaro]

That is all you do. You sing and you cuss and. And you eat biscuits and you.

[May Martin]

And you cry.

[Fortune Feimster]

Cuss and eat biscuits.

[Tig Notaro]

That is right.

[Fortune Feimster]

No.

[Sponsor Voice 1]

God.

[Fortune Feimster]

Not going to say it.

[May Martin]

So what was the question? Was favorite memory.

[Fortune Feimster]

Favorite memory with a. A sibling. Did I just say sibling? Sibling.

[May Martin]

Yeah, that's right.

[Tig Notaro]

I don't know.

[Fortune Feimster]

Sibling.

[Tig Notaro]

Is that not the right word?

[Fortune Feimster]

I think I said sibling. Anyway, who cares?

[Tig Notaro]

Nobody's listening.

[May Martin]

I'm thinking.

[Fortune Feimster]

Thinking about beat me up.

[May Martin]

Oh boy. Really?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, they used to beat me up. They treated.

[Tig Notaro]

Does it have to be childhood? Is that what they said?

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay, they just said any.

[Tig Notaro]

Did they beat you up as a grown woman?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

At what age does it become really problematic?

[Fortune Feimster]

You guys, we have to get out of this stage. They treated me like one of the boys, which I wanted, but that also.

[Tig Notaro]

Was hard until it was time for beating.

[Fortune Feimster]

I was like, I'm tough. I can hang with you guys. Cause there was a. The whole neighborhood was boys, so I wanted to be in the group and be included. And my mom would be like, don't leave your sister. And I'd be like, haha, you guys have to fucking take me cussing. There we go. And they were like, ugh. And then I would try to be like, see, I belong here. And then like within an hour I'm like, oh my God, it hurts. Why did you punch me? So, yeah, that would be so funny.

[Tig Notaro]

Like to see two grown men beating up their grown sister. Of course it wouldn't really be funny. That's how we cartoon.

[Fortune Feimster]

That's how we handle conflict.

[Tig Notaro]

Okay, go ahead.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh gosh.

[May Martin]

Favorite, Favorite memories. The two that come to mind. I've probably said them before, but one is my parents went away on vacation somewhere and they left us alone. And it was the year that Phantom Menace came out. So what is that, 2,000, maybe? 99.

[Allstate Ad Voice]

Thomas.

[Tig Notaro]

Why would any of us know the.

[May Martin]

Year I looked directly at Thomas. 99. 99. So I was. Why can't I do this math? 12. I was 12.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay.

[May Martin]

And my brother was 16, I guess. And my parents went away for like a. I thought. I swear I was younger than that. Anyway, they left Us alone for like, a week in the house.

[Tig Notaro]

Nobody's gonna fact check this.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. By the way.

[May Martin]

And my parents were pretty permissive, but one of their. Two of their weird rules where you weren't allowed to watch wrestling. Oh, like wwf.

[Fortune Feimster]

Okay. Because it could lead to you guys.

[May Martin]

Beating the out of each other. And you weren't. We weren't allowed to have whipped cream from the can.

[Tig Notaro]

Those are your two rules.

[Fortune Feimster]

Everything else was fair game.

[May Martin]

Everything else was. Those were pretty much. Those were two big ones for your childhood. I don't know why those.

[Fortune Feimster]

Basically, when they cream Danger.

[May Martin]

I think they just decided, like, the can.

[Tig Notaro]

Like, you can't.

[May Martin]

And we couldn't have it in the house. They were just like, it's not real food. It's like, you know. But we ate tons of not real food. So, like, cheese whiz every day.

[Tig Notaro]

I know what happened.

[May Martin]

What?

[Tig Notaro]

Your mother loves it so much, she didn't want it in the house that.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, wow.

[May Martin]

100%. Oh, my dad.

[Fortune Feimster]

You didn't even have to pay for that.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Sorry to make it sexist, but, like, somebody.

[May Martin]

You're right.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. Somebody was like, I have no controls because it's so weird.

[Fortune Feimster]

It's.

[Tig Notaro]

It's like no wrestling. And also none of those pinwheel lollipops.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

We weren't gonna get that with whipped cream on top.

[Tig Notaro]

Not as bad in the house.

[May Martin]

One of them loved wrestling too much as well.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Yeah.

[May Martin]

Anyway, my parents go away and. And as soon as the taxi pulled away to the airport.

[Tig Notaro]

Wrestling and whipped cream.

[May Martin]

We ran to the corner store, we got a can of whipped cream, came back, threw on the wrestling, and it was so joyful. And we had the funnest week, just the two of us. Us doing everything we weren't supposed to do and laughing. We went to see Phantom Menace. So disappointing. But that was great. And then also as an adult, he came to visit me in England. And I was just so glad that we made the time to do that. And we went on this walking tour of a cemetery. And my brother's like, a deep history buff and was asking such interesting questions. And to see him in public as an adult, like. And he was so confident, and everyone was fascinated by his questions. And I was just, like, seeing him through the world's eyes being, like, what a wonderful man. Then we were leaving, and we'd walked quite a ways, and he said, I'm so sorry. I have to go back quickly. And he went all the way back and went to our guide and went, thank you so much. That was a really interesting tour. I was. Thank you. He'd forgotten to thank the guide. He went all the way back to thank him.

[Tig Notaro]

That's so good.

[May Martin]

So those are two favorites.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

What about you guys?

[Fortune Feimster]

I'm trying to think of something with us all together, but I can only think of individual ones. My brother Jay, when I lived in Spain, he and my mom came to visit. And that was cool, like, getting to, like. We traveled Spain and around Spain and France together for, like, three and a half weeks.

[Tig Notaro]

Whoa.

[Fortune Feimster]

And he and I were kind of like the mom and dad. And my mom was kind of the child. Like, she was like. She's like in the back seat going, look at. At those orange trees. I'm gonna go over there. Let's go pick up some rocks. And we're like, no. We're always like, no, just sit there.

[Tig Notaro]

Just sit there.

[Fortune Feimster]

No, just sit there. No. She's just like a child. Look at that. Look at that. Look at that. So that makes me laugh. We just. And we were staying in the, like, the. We cheapest places because we didn't have. You know, none of us were. Had much money. And the last night, he's like, I'm. I'm splurging. I'm getting us a nice hotel room. And we. It just.

[Allstate Ad Voice]

A lot.

[Fortune Feimster]

We just laughed a lot and had a good time. And then recently, he and I had kind of. We sometimes butt heads and had. Had been butting heads for a while and then finally let all that stuff go and. And had a weekend together at my mom's, like, a couple months ago, where it just felt like we were kids all over again. We had not spent that kind of time together as adults. We, like, went to topgolf and went to a movie and went to dinner. And I was just like, it's so nice to be having this kind of experience with my brother. Me in my mid-40s and him in his late-40s. And then my other brother is our oldest brother. He's seven years older than me, so he always kind of took on a dad role. And so we had. We used to wrestle a lot when we were kids.

[Tig Notaro]

With whipped cream.

[Fortune Feimster]

No whipped cream. But he. He was such a good guy. Like, he really tried to sort of make up where sometimes my parents lacked. And he went to college, like, two weeks after my parents divorced.

[May Martin]

Oh, man.

[Fortune Feimster]

And I was 12, and I'm losing my big brother, and my parents are divorcing, and I was just traumatized. Our dog died a couple weeks before that.

[May Martin]

You tend to do Things in like, in chunks. Yeah. Like everything.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

I'm like pumped for you to get through this daily.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. And he, you know, my dad traveled a lot back then so Price would kind of be the one to teach me how to throw a softball or to play soccer with me in the yard. And so he was very dad like. So when he was at college I loved to go visit him. It felt so cool. His friends were so nice to me. Well, he is a 18 year old boy. I'll never forget this. Had his. He made all these wonderful friends who are women like platonically.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

And he would have them write me letters like in the mail, sending me letters when I would like saying like your brother said, you know, your parents are going through a divorce and you're going through a hard time and we just wanted to check on you and make sure you're okay and, and you know, come visit anytime. I would get these letters from his friends and because he asked them to help look out for me and I, that would always be a memory of, of him that I really cherish because I thought what 18 year old boy.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah.

[Fortune Feimster]

Has that, you know, type of foresight and to be like, can you make sure my sister's okay?

[Tig Notaro]

That's really sweet.

[Fortune Feimster]

Which is so interesting because he is not an emotional guy. He's not a hugger. He's not. He does not talk about feelings things. So he, he had other facilitate to the women.

[Tig Notaro]

More into beating. Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah. Oh, that's so nice.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. And he and I used to play like mixed doubles together. Like sports were kind of our love language with each other and so. Yeah. But I, I definitely remember that. That fondly.

[Tig Notaro]

That's awesome.

[May Martin]

I love that. How about you?

[Tig Notaro]

Oh yeah. I mean and I have to say I've shared on here just how my brother is just like, I'm seeing such a different side of him.

[May Martin]

Oh yeah. Since he had this daughter.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yes.

[Tig Notaro]

He's married, he has his kids and I think my family's very into ribbing each other and all that kind of stuff.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

It's just so fun to see. My brother is like a big guy. Like. Yeah. You know, this kind of guy collects whiskey.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

You know, has a. Always has some smelly dog. Look, their dog isn't smelly, but his.

[Fortune Feimster]

Old dog was a little smelly.

[Tig Notaro]

No, the old dog is the one I'm thinking about. But anyway, you know, he, he's the Rolling Stones and whiskey and all that kind of his dog. And then just to see his wife reached out to me when their daughter, my niece, was turning one and asked me to come surprise my brother for her first birthday. And I would have to say that was one of the best experiences was my brother coming downstairs and I'm sitting there with his wife and kids, and he was like. He had just gotten out of the shower. You could tell he really could not comprehend what he was seeing, his reality. He's like, what? And then just really, you know, I was there when my niece was born, but to come back when she was turning one and to see my brother just loving getting her in her little dresses and putting bows in her hair and just, like, having. No, like, you know, no shame about.

[Allstate Ad Voice]

He's like.

[Fortune Feimster]

Like.

[Tig Notaro]

He's like, what? Yeah, this is her color. She looks great in lilac, you know, but.

[May Martin]

And looks great in lilac.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

He was like, what, you think she doesn't look good in that?

[Tig Notaro]

This is her color.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

And I'm like, but who are you? But, yeah, that was. I think one of the best experiences with my brother was seeing him not just as a father, but a father to a little girl.

[May Martin]

That's really sweet.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah. I really still don't know who he is.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, I really don't.

[Tig Notaro]

Because probably, like, your older brother, like, if you saw him, like.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

You know, And I call her his little dolly.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I was like, I didn't know you needed a little dolly all these years.

[May Martin]

That's all he needed.

[Fortune Feimster]

I do feel like my. That my brother would have been that way, too, had he had a girl. He has a boy, but I could see a girl would have brought out that side of him, too, I think.

[May Martin]

Yeah, it's.

[Tig Notaro]

It's really that whole idea of when you think you know someone.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I. I don't know if this is good or bad, but my friends used to always be like, I'm gonna have you meet this person I feel like you have a good take on. And I used to believe that about myself. Like, yeah, I can.

[May Martin]

I can read people.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

No, you can't. Like, you. People do curveballs and, like, become better people or then do horrendous things after decades of knowing them. And it's like, I give up. But on a positive twist, my brother really surprised me.

[Fortune Feimster]

I love that. That's great.

[May Martin]

Was. Would you get into trouble together growing up?

[Tig Notaro]

Like, were like, no, my brother was. So. I was. I handled all the trouble.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I did all that. You know, my brother was straight edge. He made. He made good grades and was on all the sports teams, and I Was really lagging behind, struggling. Like, my brother believed in Santa Claus for so long, and I, like, brought him into my mother's closet and said, these are our Christmas presents.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, my God.

[Tig Notaro]

And he was like, tig. He was, like, sad and hurt. You know, this is my older big brother.

[May Martin]

You know, you're in your 30s, and.

[Tig Notaro]

I'm like, smoking going, look, that's yours. These are mine. There's no Santa, you know, so, no, I don't think we really got into trouble. Yeah, I handled all that.

[May Martin]

How do your brothers all feel about you doing comedy and stuff? Like, have they.

[Fortune Feimster]

Are they.

[May Martin]

Did they get it? Are they into it or they.

[Tig Notaro]

My brother listens to this show. He follows.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, shout out.

[Tig Notaro]

Shout out. But he. I think he follows just even comedy in general more than I do. But he's very into it. He's a huge Will Ferrell.

[May Martin]

More than you do is hilarious.

[Fortune Feimster]

Well, yeah, like, as far as watching other standups.

[Michelle Obama]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Like, yeah.

[May Martin]

Yeah, that's nice.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. My brothers are into it, too. Every story, you know, I talk a lot about my family, so a lot of their friends come up to them because Feimster is obviously a very specific name. They're like, is that your sister and. Or people they don't know. And they're. They're always asking them if the stories are true. And the brothers are always like, it's very true. And so I think they get a kick out of the. Of hearing me retell something that they also have experienced.

[May Martin]

It's like you're canonizing the mythology of their childhood, too.

[Fortune Feimster]

Exactly. So I think they like that. And then, you know, they're boys, so, you know, we don't dig too deep that much. Yeah. And then every now and then, you know, my. Again, my oldest brother will be like, we are proud of you. I know we don't say it, but we are.

[Tig Notaro]

And we won't say it again.

[Fortune Feimster]

We won't say it again. Yeah. And I'll be like, oh. Because, you know, I. For whatever reason, as the youngest, I've. I don't know why this has fallen on my lap, but I've always kind of had to take care of things in my family, or at least for a while, maybe more financially, and. And just kind of some of my parents burdens have fallen on me. My mom's gonna be.

[Sponsor Voice 1]

How dare you?

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. I don't know how else to describe it. Yeah. And as far as fine, again, financial. And so I think I get sometimes into the, like, oh, like, why is this always my responsibility? And I think I occasionally feel not appreciated. And then my brother will be like, we appreciate you. I'm going to stop.

[May Martin]

Stop eating my pillow now.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah. Well, should we hear their answer?

[May Martin]

Oh, yes, please. Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

Yes, please.

[May Martin]

Yes, please.

[Craig Robinson]

What's one of your favorite childhood memories?

[Michelle Obama]

My favorite childhood memory is we have been put to bed in our room. We have the paneling dividing that grandpa built and it's got a little space at the top. And I would throw the little, small square pillow that we had over the top and you would catch it and you would throw it back to me and we would have different kind of events. It had to be. It would. One would be the two hand catch, one would be the one hand catch, one would be the offhand catch. I still remember that to this day.

[Craig Robinson]

Yeah, we had some good times in that divider up room playing our games.

[Michelle Obama]

Well, what's, what's one of your favorite.

[Craig Robinson]

One of my favorite sibling memories is Christmas. Any Christmas morning. All right. Because you know, we live in a small apartment, but the anticipation of Christmas and Santa Claus coming and our mom used to deck the house out our little bitty apartment. She. I remember the time that she created a makeshift chimney. I remember corrugated paper that looked like a chimney and put it over our radiator because she and dad painted. Because our dad was an artist and he painted an oil, a clear fire and they put a light behind it to make it feel like we had a fireplace and a chimney that Santa Claus could come down. But you always got up first.

[Michelle Obama]

Always.

[Craig Robinson]

And you never went out to check for Santa, whether Santa had been there. Unless you woke me up and I was ready. And I would remember you saying, mish, Santa Claus has been here. And we'd go out there and start our Christmas.

[Michelle Obama]

Oh, so those are some great memory. Great memory.

[Craig Robinson]

Thanks, handsome.

[Michelle Obama]

See ya.

[Tig Notaro]

Thanks, Michelle and Craig.

[May Martin]

Thanks.

[Fortune Feimster]

I could listen to them tell stories all day long. Yeah.

[May Martin]

Christmas morning is a classic. It's always the kids up first.

[Fortune Feimster]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I remember one Christmas my brother and I decided to get up at like three in the morning.

[May Martin]

Yeah, of course.

[Fortune Feimster]

Still dark when you still believe.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

I mean.

[May Martin]

And your parents still awake from the night before?

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, passed out on the couch, trashed.

[Fortune Feimster]

What? That was so cool having Michelle and Craig ask a question.

[May Martin]

So cool. Thank you.

[Fortune Feimster]

She's incredible. Craig. I've started, you know, get to know through their podcast, but man, what a lady. Yeah. What a first lady.

[May Martin]

Yes, What a first lady.

[Tig Notaro]

Come back, back, please, please, please come back. If anybody's the president. Yeah. What a fun episode please. If you like this show or this episode, share it with a friend. Let's help build the Handsome community. Also, make sure to subscribe.

[May Martin]

Subscribe, rate, review, review.

[Tig Notaro]

All of that helps keep the show going.

[May Martin]

Check out handsomepod.com for cool new merch.

[Fortune Feimster]

Oh, the holidays are coming soon, so merch is a good present I would say.

[May Martin]

Yeah.

[Tig Notaro]

But also, oh go to tignotaro.com to find out where I'll be working out my what is my new show?

[May Martin]

Not my best.

[Tig Notaro]

Not my best. Oh my gosh.

[May Martin]

Yes. And you can go to maymartin.net I want to say for tickets to my my big tour next year I'm coming to 35 cities in North America. I really want to see you and hang out.

[Tig Notaro]

Yeah, those tickets will sell my friend.

[Fortune Feimster]

I guess. If we're going to websites go to.

[Tig Notaro]

IMDb and check out Star Meter Made Star Meter.

[Fortune Feimster]

You can go to my website force feature.com I am coming to Chicago and San Jose, Fresno, Charlotte, North Carolina, St. Petersburg, Florida and Orlando, Florida, Florida. And then for I would love for the Handsome fans to come join me on New Year's Eve in Seattle. I'm doing a New Year's Eve show and then Vancouver the night before that. And then a bunch of more a bunch of more dates in the.

[Tig Notaro]

Also make a note. November 14th, Apple TV come see me in the Good light, the Andrea Gibson and Megan Fowley documentary that I produced. So proud of of it. Until next time, keep it Handsome.

[May Martin]

Handsome is hosted by me, May Martin, Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willette. Email [e-mail] and please follow us on social media at Handsome Pod.

[Fortune Feimster]

What a podcast. Podcast.

[May Martin]

What a podcast.

[Tig Notaro]

That was a headgum podcast.

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[May Martin]

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