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Tig Notaro
This is a Headgun podcast.
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Fortune Feimster
Cheers.
May Martin
Cheers.
Tig Notaro
Cheers. To you and you and you. Thank you. Thank you. We need to tell people. Oh, yeah, let's. Welcome, people.
Fortune Feimster
Welcome to the handsome pod. Welcome. I'm Fortune. Phoebe, sir.
Tig Notaro
I'm Tig Notaro.
May Martin
I'm May Martin.
Tig Notaro
Yes, we're together. We are together. And I just wanted to share. Classic May moment. That happened before we were filming.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. Cheer.
May Martin
I think I was excited.
Tig Notaro
We are, too.
Fortune Feimster
What did you say?
May Martin
I said, I can't believe it.
Tig Notaro
I can't believe we're together. I know. We haven't. We haven't been in the same room for a while.
Fortune Feimster
A while. Because we've all been touring or working or filming or traveling. All kinds of stuff.
May Martin
I guess it is like for a kid, you know, like if he said, oh, it's only January. Christmas isn't for a whole year. They're like, well, it's. Christmas is never going to happen. And then it happens again, like, every year. And you're like, I can't believe it.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, it's Christmas. Well, that's what I was saying is you sounded like it was Christmas morning to you when you're like, I can't believe.
May Martin
It's good to see you guys.
Tig Notaro
It's good to see you guys.
Fortune Feimster
And then we have nothing to talk about.
May Martin
Well, anyway.
Tig Notaro
Well, I'd like to share that the Andrea Gibson and Meg F movie that I produced. Come see me in the good light. The trailer is out.
May Martin
I know it is, because when I came in this morning, Fortune was weeping because you guys had just watched the trailer, and I was like, I know what that's about, because I almost watched it in the car, and I thought, I can't.
Tig Notaro
You knew better.
May Martin
I can't cry right now.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, I've already been. I've been so tired the last few days. Just overworked. And when I get overworked, I can cry at the drop of a hat. And you put a trailer like that in front of me.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
And I was like. I was.
Sponsor Voice 1
I'm fine.
Fortune Feimster
I'm fine. And then I'm like, no, I'm not.
Tig Notaro
No, I'm not.
May Martin
This is what you need to.
Fortune Feimster
Looks beautiful.
May Martin
If you ever are trying to get an Oscar. Are you ever trying to do that?
Fortune Feimster
Oh, boy, do I want to try to get an Oscar.
May Martin
You got to just stay up all night, and then you'll be in floods of tears.
Fortune Feimster
Honestly, that would be my best work.
May Martin
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tig Notaro
Even if it's a comedy.
May Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Fortune's unhinged again.
May Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
It did look amazing. I cannot wait for it to come out.
Tig Notaro
Thanks. I'm so proud of it. It's very. As I was saying, I've seen that trailer, obviously, 10 million times, but the first time I saw it, I was so emotional, and for some reason, it was one of the first moments that made me feel like Andrea was actually gone, which I haven't. I, of course, know Andrea passed away, but I think when somebody leaves behind so much art, the way Andrea. I mean, it's just.
May Martin
And also, it's. It's. Yeah, it's. It's just pie. It's so packaged up so beautifully, and that it feels like there's a finality to it because of the nice music and everything.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
When I was saying the ticket, also, it's probably tough seeing Andrea so alive when you watch it that you just go, oh, my gosh, I can't believe that the. Yeah, that is not the case.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. And then today, when it. When, you know, everybody's. The trailer came out and it's posted, it's like. I mean, this whole situation has been such a compartmentalized joy because it's such a beautiful film about beautiful people. But, yeah, when the trailer came out today, it's like, God, Andrea is gone. And Andrea not just doesn't get to experience the movie coming out to the masses, but just Andrea being gone. It's like. But so anyway, I'm bittersweet. Yeah, it's very bittersweet.
Fortune Feimster
I mean, I'm sure that's also the stages of grief, too, that that will keep unfolding for a while.
May Martin
Do you think those are legit, the stages of grief? Are they still around? People say, like, you go, like, have you hit angry yet? Like, do you have to hit all of them?
Fortune Feimster
I don't know that you have to, but I think they roll out in different ways, you know?
Tig Notaro
Yeah. And I think, like, angry. I mean, it's not. I wasn't, like, turning desks over and, like, punching walls.
Fortune Feimster
That would be so wild if that's how you expressed yourself.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. That's not. Yeah. I think I have moments of anger. Like, I don't know if it's anger or just disappointment in myself. Like, with. Maybe I've mentioned before that I had this fantasy for a long time of creating, like, a tour with Andrea, a musician, a comedian, an artist. Like, just do such a. And so.
May Martin
And you're frustrated at yourself of just.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Where I'm like, why. Why was I putting that off? You know, it's something I would mention to Stephanie over the years, probably once, twice a year. I'd be like, I should put that thing together and be such a fun show. It's a show I'd want to see.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
May Martin
I like a mix of disciplines. Yeah. I like that.
Tig Notaro
Like, at their best.
May Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. And. Or not.
Allstate Ad Voice
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Tig Notaro
What a great show.
May Martin
What a great show.
Tig Notaro
Oh, my gosh.
May Martin
Mediocre comedian. It's called not at Our Best.
Tig Notaro
Oh, my gosh. Maybe that's my new tour with my new material.
Fortune Feimster
That's not my best.
May Martin
Oh, my God.
Fortune Feimster
Okay. I'm happy to be here.
May Martin
That's kind of like bulletproof, because then no one can review it badly. You go, I told you. I said this was not my place.
Fortune Feimster
You knew what you were coming for. Oh, boy.
Tig Notaro
That's my new. That was my new tour. I am actually in the process of trying to name my tour. Tell me about it, but, like, not at your best. I would be front row for that circus. Oh, my gosh.
May Martin
You know, my tour just went on sale and I had to name it before I've written it. So I, Yeah, I named it the Possum. I don't have any material about this.
Fortune Feimster
Possum, but I don't think you need to. Like, I think it can just be all encompassing. Yeah.
May Martin
Thematically about possums.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Don't ever mention a possum. That's all the better.
May Martin
That would be good. Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Because people will. You'll never lose their attention. They'll be waiting for the possum story the whole time. Never comes. And then they'll think, did I miss something? And then they'll buy the album, see the specs. They'll be like, I'm sure there's a mention of opossum.
May Martin
Yeah. There'll be fan theories being like, well, if you take the second word out of every well.
Tig Notaro
And you know, there is a country music. I think I've told you this. A country music singer, George Jones, who is known as the Possum.
May Martin
I did not know that.
Tig Notaro
Okay. Why did that cause a hand dance?
May Martin
I was looking for a pen, got.
Tig Notaro
Over in the possum. Everyone took the pin.
Fortune Feimster
I love. I love that song.
Tig Notaro
Oh, my gosh. That's a new handsome dance, the Possum.
May Martin
Look at that.
Fortune Feimster
Yes. I love that everyone's getting ideas for their tour.
Tig Notaro
And I like that you're saying this is the toy.
Fortune Feimster
No, the, the writing the down of the George Jones.
May Martin
But I like that you're saying this is a new handsome dance. Like, we have many.
Fortune Feimster
We have so many handsome dances.
Tig Notaro
Well, we had the Electric Slide.
May Martin
We have the Electric Slide.
Tig Notaro
That's right, my friend. But now it's do the Possum.
May Martin
Speaking of expressing anger.
Tig Notaro
Yes.
May Martin
Boy, did I ever. Last week.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, you went to that thing.
May Martin
I'm back.
Tig Notaro
You're a changed person. Well, well, first of all, you're the number one star in Hollywood right now. So let's not.
May Martin
Well, let's be clear. I, I, let's be queer. Let's be queer. I was Briefly the number one search on IMDb, I think largely because people were like, what? What is this?
Fortune Feimster
They were curious. What is this?
Tig Notaro
That's an actual person.
Fortune Feimster
That's what that star thing is. The star rating is people looking you up.
May Martin
It's how many people are looking you up. So I think it was just people.
Tig Notaro
What did you think it was?
Fortune Feimster
I really didn't know, like, how many Things you're on. Or, or.
May Martin
Or it was God's butte or something.
Fortune Feimster
I. I really didn't know.
May Martin
Yeah, I think it's just the number of. And I. I think is people being like, does it have a penis or what?
Fortune Feimster
That's, that's the Google search. Does it have a penis?
Tig Notaro
That's the number one star meter search. Does it have a penis?
May Martin
But yeah, that was a weird time to give my phone away for a week.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
May Martin
Can I tell you about this, please? Cuz I got to.
Tig Notaro
I'm actually not interested. Is there something else we could talk about?
May Martin
What else is there?
Fortune Feimster
I think you have to listen.
Tig Notaro
All right, let's hear it.
May Martin
Well, also, I don't want to, like, I'm supposed to, you know, guard the experience closely and not like overshare it. And I don't want to, you know, you sign an NDA.
Tig Notaro
Tell us everything.
May Martin
Okay. Basically. So, no, I won't say where I went, but I went to like a. It's a non profit therapy retreat. Part of me was hoping, like, there'll be a masseuse.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, like a hot person. You can get down.
May Martin
No, no, no. Fortune.
Tig Notaro
That's an interesting ins.
Fortune Feimster
May likes the fog.
May Martin
It is 8:45.
Fortune Feimster
Am I wrong?
Tig Notaro
I don't know May's personal business in that way.
Fortune Feimster
I thought you were like, wouldn't this be fun if while I'm trying to learn about myself, I also.
Allstate Ad Voice
May.
Tig Notaro
Tell us what happened. Tell us what happened.
Fortune Feimster
Thank you.
May Martin
So I get there and, well, the first thing that happened was the night before, a toad hopped over my foot.
Tig Notaro
So I thought, yeah.
Fortune Feimster
What does that mean?
May Martin
Good omen. Good omen?
Fortune Feimster
No.
May Martin
Is it.
Fortune Feimster
Do we know that as a fact? Is that a Mayfest?
Tig Notaro
Well, first things first. A toad hopped over my foot.
May Martin
So I was in the parking lot of the Quality Inn the night before. I was like, okay, I'm nervous.
Fortune Feimster
Let's stop. Yeah. Why did you have to sit?
Tig Notaro
Of course a toad hopped over your foot in the room at the Quality Inn.
May Martin
It was grimy and there were a lot. All the trucks parked there had like Trump signs on. And there was a big group of guys drinking in the parking lot.
Fortune Feimster
Why did you stay there?
Tig Notaro
You know Trump.
May Martin
I wanted to be close to the place because you got to be there. So I had to fly to. Well, I won't say.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, yeah, don't say.
May Martin
But then I'm in the parking lot of the Quality Inn having a cigarette.
Tig Notaro
Sounds terrible.
Fortune Feimster
It was not Quality.
May Martin
Well, it was. It was scary.
Tig Notaro
This is the retreat.
May Martin
No, no, no.
Tig Notaro
Five days of frogs playing leapfrog while you smoke in the parking lot.
Fortune Feimster
Sounds like a dicey start.
May Martin
Yeah, it was a dicey start. So I'm having a cigarette and a little toad hops over my foot. So I think.
Tig Notaro
Got it the first time.
May Martin
Yeah, I think I'm in the right place. The next morning, I get my Uber. I. I drive up the path to this retreat center and it's like. It's a bit like summer camp, A bit like hospitally. And I have a little monastic little room with like a single bed. And anyway, I go check that. I don't know.
Tig Notaro
A monastic.
Fortune Feimster
I actually don't either. What is it?
Tig Notaro
Really? You aren't going to speak up?
May Martin
You were gonna let it slide?
Fortune Feimster
Maybe. Well, if it was, I didn't want to be two against one. And now it's two against one.
May Martin
Yeah, monastic. Like monk. Like. Oh, like a monk.
Tig Notaro
Okay. Yeah, we totally knew that. Anyway, monastic.
May Martin
So I go in, I give my phone in and I go. I'm trying to make friends. I'm go, this is crazy. Can't believe we're doing this. Turn on. There's a one woman there. And I knock a really expensive vase over with an orchid in it. And it's.
Tig Notaro
It must have been expensive if it was pronounced vase.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, vases.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, that you can do. Those are the disposable.
May Martin
You would say vase.
Fortune Feimster
We're Southern, so we wouldn't say vase. Yeah, vase.
Tig Notaro
I'm not gonna.
Fortune Feimster
You're fancy. I would say vase.
May Martin
Okay. Because y' all are fancy.
Fortune Feimster
Canadian.
Tig Notaro
You're not Americans.
Fortune Feimster
We get it. Ugh. You're from so.
May Martin
So far I've had the toad and then I've knocked over and smashed a vase with an orchid as my, like, intro. Anyway, it was crazy. I think overall it was. It was good. I had a lot of time to think and. But it was pretty grueling. It was like 9am or get up at 7am and then do this program until 9pm I won't go into huge detail, but there.
Fortune Feimster
And you paid for this? I paid for it a lot, I'm sure.
May Martin
You know what? It wasn't.
Tig Notaro
Oh, go.
May Martin
It wasn't crazy. And you know what? It's cool because it's a non profit. 20% of people there are there on scholarships, so.
Fortune Feimster
Okay, I like that.
Tig Notaro
Are they equally as miserable and do they have to pretend that they're not because they're there for.
May Martin
It felt like the people who came because they have problems accessing their emotions and want to rediscover a sense of play, they blossomed. I have no problem accessing the emotions. If anything, I need like. Yeah, so. But you know what was. I'll say my favorite part was I come in one morning, there's a pillow and a baseball bat, and I spent.
Tig Notaro
You love that.
May Martin
I love.
Tig Notaro
You love a pillow and a baseball bat.
May Martin
I beat the shit out of this pillow for 45 minutes without stopping. And you're not allowed to stop. And I was. I went into some primal instinct.
Tig Notaro
Wait, this is something that was an.
May Martin
Exercise to do there in the room with everyone. We all had earplugs in and I'm beating the shit out of this pillow.
Tig Notaro
Oh, my gosh. Crying.
May Martin
Crying. Screaming like it was wild. I lost my voice. My hands were bleeding. Like, I was like, oh, yeah, I'm pissed.
Fortune Feimster
Wow.
May Martin
But did you know I never express anger? Like, I haven't raised my voice since I was about 10.
Fortune Feimster
Really?
Allstate Ad Voice
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
And do you think that was just like an accumulative anger just come finally coming out, or were you angry about something specific? You know how to tell us somebody specific.
Craig Robinson
You.
Fortune Feimster
So you were able to do it.
May Martin
Was that fucking pillow?
Fortune Feimster
I mean, as long as you were able to pinpoint what it was, I think that's helpful.
May Martin
It was multiple things, but, yeah, we did. And we did a lot of that kind of thing. 1. At one point halfway through the week, I was pretty close to leaving. I packed up my little bag. I thought, you know what this feels like?
Tig Notaro
Little cowboys little bag.
May Martin
And when I say little, it was massive.
Tig Notaro
Of course. Piano in it.
May Martin
No. No synths allow.
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Fortune Feimster
You know what's not smart?
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May Martin
No. No laptop, no phone.
Tig Notaro
That's on their rules. No synthesizers.
Fortune Feimster
Were you just like, I need to check in on how Wayward's doing on Netflix. I gotta get out of here.
May Martin
I was just like, what am I doing here? Like, this is supposed to be such an exciting moment in my life and I'm here sobbing like in the woods with strangers. Like I'm. Is this punitive? You know what I mean?
Tig Notaro
Right when you first arrived though, were you like, hey guys, I'm so happy to be here.
May Martin
Oh, a hunch. 100%, yeah. And, and I will say I'm glad I stuck it out because by. Because that night I thought, I'm gonna leave. I couldn't sleep. And then I got up and it was a full moon. I went walking through the woods. I saw deer, I saw a rabbit. And then I find this stone labyrinth. And I actually thought about Andrea, because I was thinking, where are my guides at? And I was thinking about my grandma, and I thought, you're around. I get to the middle of this labyrinth of stones, and in the middle is a big live toad that's just riveting at me in the moonlight. And I'm wait, this is after you've.
Tig Notaro
Already had a toad hop over you.
May Martin
Yes.
Tig Notaro
You see another one.
May Martin
Thank you. Yes.
Tig Notaro
In the middle of the swirlydew.
Fortune Feimster
Because you know what that means.
Tig Notaro
No.
May Martin
Oh, nobody does.
Tig Notaro
When you find a frog in the middle of a swirlydew in the woods, what does it mean?
May Martin
I think it meant stay, but in a toad, like. And then. So I did stay. And I'm glad I did, because by the end, I'm okay. The main thing I took away, there's just 40 people in this group. All different demographics. People in their 70s, 40s, all the ages and different genres.
Tig Notaro
No, keep going.
May Martin
Okay. As I said, I'm like, why did I pick those two?
Fortune Feimster
46, 50.
Tig Notaro
Okay. Any twenties?
May Martin
I don't think there were any twenties actually yet.
Tig Notaro
Anyone in their hundreds?
Fortune Feimster
1, 102 year old. She's like, I have some things to work on before I get out of here.
Tig Notaro
I'm really into self help.
Fortune Feimster
I just.
Tig Notaro
A few more things.
Fortune Feimster
I express my anger. You're like, you're 102. I think you're just fine.
May Martin
Yeah. And by the end of it, I was like, oh, we're all just toddlers. Like, we. I felt really bonded to these people. By the end of it, I was.
Fortune Feimster
Like, oh, you did?
May Martin
I did. By the end. Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Just the program was.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
May Martin
You're going through crazy shit and you're not allowed to talk about your work.
Tig Notaro
Or you couldn't promote Wayward.
Fortune Feimster
I couldn't promote Wake Word or the Handsome.
Tig Notaro
Or your dog.
Fortune Feimster
I couldn't.
Tig Notaro
Or my dog.
May Martin
I could not.
Tig Notaro
Oh, my God. What about Fortune's tour?
Fortune Feimster
I know. Taking care of biscuits.
Tig Notaro
What if you were talking about your friend's podcast?
Fortune Feimster
Handsome. Yeah. You know what I find helpful also?
May Martin
Nobody recognized me except one woman on day one. They had just said, you're not allowed to talk about your work. And then this woman goes, are you that comedian? And then I was.
Tig Notaro
But you went in, like, at the beginning of the whatever retreat like what? 4,000 on star meter. And then you came out number one.
May Martin
I don't check my star meter.
Fortune Feimster
Dig's over there.
May Martin
Refreshing, refreshing.
Fortune Feimster
I'm following you on imtv. She tracks everyone's star.
Tig Notaro
What if you found that out? That was really sad.
Fortune Feimster
Do you have a spreadsheet?
May Martin
Or we could just test you. You go, Tom Hanks.
Fortune Feimster
You're 12.
May Martin
Oh, my God.
Tig Notaro
I was obsessed with people's star meters. Oh, my God.
May Martin
So, yeah, overall, by the end, we were. We were tight. And who was your favorite person? Well, I gotta say, because in. In the beginning, I was the only queer person and I was the only person who smoked. And so once a day, I'd go and have my cigarette.
Tig Notaro
You're allowed to smoke there.
May Martin
You're allowed to go and have your smoking. Let me say, by day three, a lot of women in their 50s and 60s going, you gotta smoke. Can I bum one?
Tig Notaro
Were they flirting with you?
May Martin
No.
Fortune Feimster
This needed a break. Yeah.
May Martin
We were bonded. So I think there were a handful of people I got. I got tight with for sure.
Tig Notaro
Here's my question.
Fortune Feimster
And you got hooked on cigarettes.
Tig Notaro
Tell me how each of us would do individually at this.
Fortune Feimster
Good question, too. Thank you. Thank you.
Tig Notaro
I always wait for that from you. Like, picture fortune there, beating that pillow.
May Martin
I can't imagine that. I think you both. I had to totally switch off any sense of irony about it.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, yeah.
May Martin
I was like, I paid for this. I'm here.
Fortune Feimster
I gotta commit and commit to the experience.
Tig Notaro
I wonder what I was doing when you were beating that pillow.
May Martin
There was one day I beat it.
Allstate Ad Voice
With a sledgehammer instead of.
Fortune Feimster
Wait. It was multiple days of beating this pillow.
May Martin
There was a lot of beating.
Fortune Feimster
Wow, this must have been a thick pillow.
May Martin
A lot of visualizations, though, as well.
Fortune Feimster
And I just see it going straight through the pillow into the floor.
Tig Notaro
What do you think you were doing when Mae was beating that pillow?
Fortune Feimster
I was crying myself because I was so tired, like the last five days.
May Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
And when I get overly tired, like we talked about, I am weepy.
May Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
I'm just a dumb bitch.
Tig Notaro
That's fun.
May Martin
Excuse me. Don't talk about your friend like that.
Tig Notaro
Don't talk about my friend like that.
Fortune Feimster
So, yeah, I was probably crying.
May Martin
I think you guys, if you could get out of your own way, like, if you were just like, there's no one I know here, I may as well just go for it. I think you can get a lot out of it.
Fortune Feimster
I could commit to it. Experience like that.
May Martin
I think so.
Fortune Feimster
I don't know about this one?
May Martin
There were things. I don't either. Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
This one's leaving on day one.
Tig Notaro
Look, I love a retreat, you know, I love breathing. I love meditation. I love veganism. I'm. I'm perfect for this.
Fortune Feimster
How was the food? That would be my determining fact.
May Martin
So good, actually.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, biscuits.
May Martin
Farm fresh, to be honest.
Tig Notaro
Farm fresh biscuits.
May Martin
Farm fresh biscuits.
Fortune Feimster
Sign me up.
May Martin
What was like a revelation to me was what I already knew going in, which was like, if you sleep eight hours a night, you eat three meals a day of fresh food and you don't look at your phone, you're gonna feel good.
Fortune Feimster
Okay. And you did.
May Martin
I felt great. Got back home, right back into the old patterns for sure. But I took a lot from it.
Tig Notaro
What'd you take?
May Martin
Well, that we're all the same. I took a bag of farm fresh biscuits. I snuck them out.
Fortune Feimster
What was the takeaway?
May Martin
The takeaway? Well, it's still percolating, but I think.
Tig Notaro
Like.
May Martin
I think it was identifying what's mine and what's other people's, you know, releasing some. Some shame. Some, you know, shame you knew you.
Tig Notaro
Had or shame where you're like, that's the thing.
May Martin
That's the thing. We all know it. We all know. And everyone's the same. That it was really reassuring. Everyone is like, I'm mad at my parents, but also I love my parents. And I feel guilt and I feel, you know, I don't think I'm attractive enough or smart enough. Like, we are all the. Everyone has those, I think. Do we?
Fortune Feimster
Probably, to some extent.
May Martin
Yeah. Like, just complicated.
Tig Notaro
Sort of.
May Martin
Little toddlers.
Craig Robinson
For sure.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
May Martin
Yeah. So that was nice, I guess, to.
Tig Notaro
Realize and all of those things that your personality and body, everything kind of just becomes figures to, like, get you through life. And you're picking apart all that and.
May Martin
Being like, what's my authentic. Yeah, like, you know.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
May Martin
Yeah. There was one moment where I thought you guys would have been like, I'm out, which was. Oh, we'd had a really intense morning. I was feeling like, I'm not sure about this. And then they said, don't worry. We're gonna have a really fun afternoon. And then it was a lot of.
Tig Notaro
Like, square dancing, pretty much.
May Martin
It was a lot of, I'm staying for that. Like, play.
Tig Notaro
Me too.
May Martin
Like, like play. And. And then they go, guys, you have 45 minutes. We're gonna meet in the classroom, and you guys are gonna put on a sketch comedy show. And I thought, bullet in my brain.
Fortune Feimster
That is painful.
May Martin
After I've just Been so raw beating up this thing. I'm like, I am fucked up. And now I gotta do a comedy show.
Tig Notaro
Put your wig on.
May Martin
It was wild. Yeah, but.
Fortune Feimster
And you did it.
May Martin
Oh, I did it. And it, you know.
Fortune Feimster
Were you funny?
May Martin
No, not remotely. Not remotely. But everyone else was. And it was really nice seeing how. And I thought I am lucky that my job involves a sense of play and like, that's not hard for us to access, I feel.
Tig Notaro
So the other people, they made you laugh and they were.
May Martin
Yeah, they were. Because we. We were playing the teachers and playing each other like we were. And people were really going for it and that. Because it was seeing, like people in their 70s who were. There's a someone, you know, from all different places.
Fortune Feimster
102 year old was hilarious.
Tig Notaro
She was hilarious to see her fake mustache.
May Martin
Anyway, I feel, I also, I feel like I only know my experience of it, which was overall very positive and I'm grateful for it. And I've noticed, as I've told the this week, I've got more cynical and I'm going for the laughs. Whereas when I first got back, I told my roommate all about it and I.
Tig Notaro
The raccoon.
May Martin
Yeah, I told the raccoon all about it.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
May Martin
And he said that I. He's like, oh, it sounds like you had a great time. And then he heard me retell it like four days later. He was like, when you got back, you loved it. And now the more you tell it, you're going for the punchline.
Fortune Feimster
That's interesting, isn't it? Oh, I wonder what that is.
May Martin
Yeah, I think I'm just used to real growth.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Now tell me this. Was there somebody there at the retreat where you're like, whoa, they are in it and believe in it. And they are like, you know. Cause if you decide I'm going with this and I'm gonna get something out of this. And yeah, no cynicism, just.
May Martin
Yeah, yeah. I'll tell you later.
Tig Notaro
Was it so fun to watch that person?
May Martin
It was. The whole thing was riveting. I'll say. Like, if I ever got in my head, I thought, well, there's all these people I would never have met and they are having wildly different experiences and committed and it was riveting.
Tig Notaro
Was there somebody that drove you insane and then you ended up going, oh, I understand their trauma and their life and I get it.
May Martin
I'll say that was part of the program where they said, if there's anyone who sort of triggered you when, you know, based on pretty much nothing. Because we were exploring, like, negative transference. Like, in your life, there's people that just make you, like. And it's like, is that my. What is that? So I was thinking, oh, there's this guy that is. I don't know.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
May Martin
Like.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, you don't know why, or you did know why. He's like.
May Martin
He's only really talking to the other men. And, like, he's. He said a couple of things that. Anyway, so I write it down, and then they go, okay, now you're gonna go tell that person to their face.
Fortune Feimster
I would hate that. I know.
May Martin
Cause I'm a people pleaser.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, me too.
Tig Notaro
So you went and told this guy.
May Martin
I had to sit in front of him with a T shirt I know you would love. It was juicy.
Fortune Feimster
That's your jam.
May Martin
And the person who's being told that is not allowed to respond. They just have to be like. And so I. And it's, like, structured like a script. So I'm like. I experienced you as, you know, potentially judging me because of this thing that you said about. And this thing, and blah, blah, blah.
Tig Notaro
Meanwhile, your life is going nuts online. You're the number one star in the world. But go ahead.
May Martin
I'm in the woods with your star meter.
Tig Notaro
Your star meter ticking up. Tig. Tracking the entire picture. And you're like, the. The second I saw you, my skin was crawling.
May Martin
And then, you know. And then I say, and that is a pattern that I got from this place. And I take responsibility for my experience and stuff. And it was fascinating. And. And he's just like, okay. And, of course. Yeah. By the end, we're hugging and. And. And we were so much closer having had that exchange, like, by the end. Yeah. And I thought, nobody's gonna have a problem with me. Let me tell you.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, several people.
Tig Notaro
No one could stand you.
May Martin
Let me tell you.
Fortune Feimster
Everyone, least favorite person there.
Tig Notaro
You were number one on the star meter of.
Fortune Feimster
Two's not bad. How many people are we talking about?
May Martin
Well, you were only allowed to.
Tig Notaro
There were four people there.
Fortune Feimster
You were only allowed two. That's good. They had a limit.
Tig Notaro
Here's my final question. I could talk to you about this forever.
May Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
If Fortune and I were like, oh, my gosh, this is so interesting. We really want to go. Can you go with a friend?
May Martin
No, you'd have to.
Tig Notaro
That was a good question, too.
May Martin
That was a great question. You could lie about it, because what.
Tig Notaro
If we were in the same room beating a pillow?
Michelle Obama
I know.
May Martin
You know, you guys would be like. You'd be winking at each other.
Tig Notaro
Get that pillow.
May Martin
Get the pillow. No, I think you. Yeah. Knowing that, you know, and.
Tig Notaro
Okay.
May Martin
But man, it was, it was fascinating.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. Yeah. All right. Look at you.
May Martin
I feel, I hope I've been respectful about the experience and.
Tig Notaro
Well, you haven't. But. But here's the thing. I think it's awesome that even if, even if you didn't leave with what you hope that you left with.
May Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
That you left with something. I really did. And like got your mind going and that you're wanting to explore who you are and make changes and.
Fortune Feimster
And you ate some good food.
May Martin
I felt really proud of myself by the end.
Tig Notaro
Farm Fresh Biscuits Farm Fresh Biscuits.
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Give it to my friend.
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Tig Notaro
How are you? Fortune?
May Martin
Yeah. What's going on? Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, I'm fine. I'm fine. Yeah, it was, was I'm, I'm filming so I'm busy with that. But truly it's so fun that like on like I was filming LA last night just thinking I'm having the best time.
Tig Notaro
Really. It's amazing.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. I love Will and we get along so great and like just cackle. We just make each other laugh so hard. And I was sitting across from him on this bus last night and just, we both just kind of like this is so fun.
May Martin
Oh man.
Fortune Feimster
So it just feels like that pure like comedy experience where you're just like with a nice person.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. So nice.
Fortune Feimster
Good values and it treats people kindly.
May Martin
Oh that's the dream.
Fortune Feimster
Every. So everyone around us is pleasant and happy and we in between takes go to the. They call it video village. You get. I'm just saying that for our audience and, and sit there and we laugh with everyone around there and then go back to, to, to on set laugh there. Which I really needed cuz I just was really. You know I, I've just been a little emotional lately. Just.
May Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
I think about my mom has been kind of finally catching up to me. Yeah.
May Martin
Yes. But that, that is amazing that you have this place you can go where you kind of, you. Well with you have to compartmentalize, you have to be present and you're laughing and. And you got farm fresh biscuits.
Fortune Feimster
I did not get farm fresh biscuits. But yeah, I went. I hadn't seen my mom in like a month and a half because of. Of work. And then I went and she had not had a good week and has just been very nauseous and just like really tired. And I was like, I'm gonna get swing through there. Just like two days. I was stuck in the Boston airport for nine hours.
May Martin
I was following this on. On Instagram. What the hell happened?
Fortune Feimster
I had a show in Boston which was amazing. It was so incredible. At the wang.
Tig Notaro
Were you posting it on stories or something?
Fortune Feimster
I just a couple pictures. Like here. Four hours in, we deplaned twice. The airport was a mess because there was a storm coming through. So my first delay was that the plane delayed coming in. Then we got on the plane, taxied out, sat forever. Then they're like, the windshield wiper's broken. Go back in.
May Martin
That's it. Then you're like, shield wiper.
Tig Notaro
That's what I can't stand. When a flight is like, we're having mechanical or tech, whatever problems. I'm like, what is it? Is it the windshield wiper or the wind? Let's get specific.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
May Martin
That is really crazy.
Tig Notaro
But it's like, don't go far because.
Fortune Feimster
We, you know, and so you can't really like, you can't go like have a, you know, meal or something. And then we get back on it finally again. Now we're like five hours into this and then we taxi out. Then like now bad news. Now this has happened. We go back in and then finally they gave us a new aircraft. But it was there for nine hours.
Tig Notaro
What if on the side of the plane you realized it said student flyer?
Fortune Feimster
Then I'm. Then I'm grateful for the nine hour delay that they could get a real pilot. But.
May Martin
Did you bond with any of the other people?
Fortune Feimster
I just like staring in dispay. I was just. So when I got to the airport, I was on my. I just was so tired. Yeah. That I called my mom. This is when I know I'm beyond.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
And I just am crying to my mom. And therefore I put my hoodie on. People are recognizing me and I'm turning my head and I just look like a. This is like. So I'm already ready to get to her.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
To just like. Like shut it all down and not have to, you know, just like.
May Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Not be anything. Just like lay on my mom's. Couch and just chill.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
And then I'm stuck for nine hours, so I'm already in this bad space, and it just gets. So I get to the point where I'm just, like, catatonic, and then I finally land, and I go to my mom's and we have a late dinner. But, yeah, I just. Just, you know, it's. She. She's always in good spirits, but you can tell it's, like, taking a toll on her. And the chemo's not doing what we want it to do, and you just kind of go. I just think it all finally caught up to me where I was like, I'm sad about this, of course. And, you know, she's like, I don't want you to worry about me. And.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's impossible not to, though, so that's tough. Fortune.
Fortune Feimster
Where's that pillow?
May Martin
Yeah, get. Get a bat and a pillow.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. So I'm just, you know, just. I want her to hopefully that. Thank you. I just want to be okay. And, you know, it's. It's still. She's still fighting the good fight. I mean, she's not going anywhere right now, but you start to. To think about the what ifs? And. Yeah, what if this doesn't do anything ever.
Tig Notaro
Thanks, Thomas.
Fortune Feimster
And what does that look like? And thank you, Thomas. And. But it was nice to just be around her. And, you know, it's just that. That thing of, like, realizing your parents are getting older, and this is sometimes what happens with that journey. So. Yeah.
Tig Notaro
I mean, just putting it out there, and, you know, there's people. I don't know if you or your mother would be open to it, but there are people that can like, insert themselves into the conversation with a family who's dealing with serious health issues and having a third person to talk to. I met this woman, runs this organization that does this, and I reached out to her when Andrea was ill and just like, you know, like, how do you.
May Martin
Yeah, because it's such a universal experience, but when you're in it, you're like, what do I say? How.
Tig Notaro
How do we handle this?
May Martin
How do we handle this? Yeah.
Allstate Ad Voice
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Tig Notaro
Yeah. And, I mean, I can get you her number, and it's just something to keep in your back pocket until. Or if you want it. But it's like, it's so crucial to just to keep conversations open, and I'm just endlessly floored by the people that do that kind of work. Yeah. But anyway, it's just something I wanted to put out There. And that's really just.
May Martin
It's a lot to navigate on your own.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. I think at first I was just kind of like, this is what is happening. These are the facts. She has this. We're gonna get through it. And then I think this. I was just like, this isn't good.
May Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
You know, as simple as that sounds, I was just like, oh, yeah. And yeah. But anyway, we have to get to our question, but I. It'll be okay. And, yeah, I will.
Tig Notaro
It will not.
Fortune Feimster
Keep compartmentalizing and just face it.
May Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Hit the pillow.
May Martin
Hit the pillow. Cry.
Tig Notaro
One of the things, and this is kind of abstract, but it's. It was such a beautiful moment in Andrea's documentary where their ex girlfriend, who is one of their best friends, Bethy, was going through an intense experience with her father and called Andrea in the middle of it, and Andrea said, just call everything love. Everything you're feeling, everything that's happening, just call it love. And Bethy said that when she applied that to the moment. And again, it's a little abstract, but it's coming from a poet. But I think it's a really beautiful thing in hard moments to. To call everything love.
May Martin
Yeah, I like that.
Tig Notaro
Again, I don't know if you remember that moment, but yeah.
Fortune Feimster
But yeah, I will try that. Thank you.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Should we kiss? Should we all call it love? Oh, well, thank you. How do I cry again?
Tig Notaro
It's tough.
Fortune Feimster
I haven't cried with you guys since the last time I saw you on the.
May Martin
It's. When we're here, this couch.
Tig Notaro
We haven't seen each other in person.
May Martin
Also, so it feels like a therapy couch. It feels like you're our couple's therapist.
Fortune Feimster
But we do have to get to our question because it's very exciting. It is.
Tig Notaro
Yes, it is very exciting.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. This is such a cool honor to have our question askers that we have today. Yes, I know.
May Martin
We're going big.
Tig Notaro
We have. We've gone really big today. We're basically at the top of big.
May Martin
We're kind of at this IMDb IMDb we've gone high. We've gone high.
Tig Notaro
I mean. I mean, that's a little teaser. We've gone high.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, not long teaser from we've gone high.
May Martin
We've gone high at all. Today's question askers are siblings who grew up together in Chicago. One sibling is a lawyer and author who served as the first lady of the United States. The other currently serves as the executive director of the national association of Basketball Coaches. Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson Are asking today's question.
Fortune Feimster
How cool. What an honor.
Tig Notaro
Yes.
Michelle Obama
Hey, Handsome Craig Robinson and my little sister Michelle here, we host a new podcast called IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson. We are such big fans of Handsome. You guys keep us laughing every week. Now, we know you all have siblings yourselves, but we don't know enough about them. Here is our question.
Craig Robinson
What's one of your favorite childhood memories with a sibling?
Fortune Feimster
Aw, that's so cool.
May Martin
That's crazy.
Fortune Feimster
And of course, their video is shot. Gorgeous.
Tig Notaro
I was gonna say that's the most.
Fortune Feimster
Professional video question we've gotten. Really? They both look so good.
May Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Oh, my gosh.
May Martin
Oh, I aspire.
Tig Notaro
Look at us. We're just, like, all over the place. Train wrecks.
May Martin
Train wrecks.
Fortune Feimster
I have wrinkles, wrinkled shirt, each other every episode. I'm like, I could have steamed that shirt.
May Martin
Oh, that's cool.
Fortune Feimster
They have a podcast together. Yeah, I've been seeing. I've listened to it. It's really cool. And I've seen a lot of clips on the old Tick Tock and. And they had Barack on there as a guest.
Sponsor Voice 1
Hard.
Tig Notaro
How'd they get him?
May Martin
What would it be like if you guys had a podcast with your sibling? Like, what would you would.
Tig Notaro
Oh, my gosh.
May Martin
What would that dynamic be?
Tig Notaro
Well, my brother comes from sports radio.
May Martin
Oh, no.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. So this is like his world. He's podcasted.
Fortune Feimster
He.
Tig Notaro
He does play by play.
May Martin
Oh, my God.
Tig Notaro
He does all.
May Martin
Well, we're coming at.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, well, let's follow that through.
May Martin
Well, we're coming up on. Well, we're coming up on a big season here. We got a couple of rounds coming. Couple of rounds coming in fast.
Fortune Feimster
Couple of rounds coming in fast.
May Martin
A couple of rounds coming in fast.
Tig Notaro
And no, no, slow rounds coming in.
May Martin
Of course, coming up from behind. We got a couple slow rounds as well. Okay, so you maybe do a sports.
Tig Notaro
Well, I would imagine it might be my. My initial response or thought would be it'd be my brother telling me about sports, me having a bunch of questions.
May Martin
I like that.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. All right, so I guess maybe I'll pitch that to Headgum.
Fortune Feimster
Well, my brothers own a fishing business together called Southern Kingfish Ess association, so they do some podcasting stuff. No way. From fishing tournaments. Wow.
May Martin
But where would you fit and are they coming?
Fortune Feimster
I mean, I would try to make the fishing this more exciting because I'm like, what, we're just gonna hear about fishing?
Tig Notaro
I am truly one of those people that could watch and this is a bad vegan, but I could. I Love fishing shows.
May Martin
It's pretty thrilling.
Fortune Feimster
That's their whole world. They. And they throw tournaments themselves, so they live stream a lot of these tournaments and I don't know if they actually like do commentary or anything, but yeah, I guess I would add a little flavor to that fishing world.
Tig Notaro
You just get in there and cuss.
Fortune Feimster
I would know nothing of. That's not what all I do.
Tig Notaro
That is all you do. You sing and you cuss and. And you eat biscuits and you.
May Martin
And you cry.
Fortune Feimster
Cuss and eat biscuits.
Tig Notaro
That is right.
Fortune Feimster
No.
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Fortune Feimster
Not going to say it.
May Martin
So what was the question? Was favorite memory.
Fortune Feimster
Favorite memory with a. A sibling. Did I just say sibling? Sibling.
May Martin
Yeah, that's right.
Tig Notaro
I don't know.
Fortune Feimster
Sibling.
Tig Notaro
Is that not the right word?
Fortune Feimster
I think I said sibling. Anyway, who cares?
Tig Notaro
Nobody's listening.
May Martin
I'm thinking.
Fortune Feimster
Thinking about beat me up.
May Martin
Oh boy. Really?
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, they used to beat me up. They treated.
Tig Notaro
Does it have to be childhood? Is that what they said?
Fortune Feimster
Okay, they just said any.
Tig Notaro
Did they beat you up as a grown woman?
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
May Martin
At what age does it become really problematic?
Fortune Feimster
You guys, we have to get out of this stage. They treated me like one of the boys, which I wanted, but that also.
Tig Notaro
Was hard until it was time for beating.
Fortune Feimster
I was like, I'm tough. I can hang with you guys. Cause there was a. The whole neighborhood was boys, so I wanted to be in the group and be included. And my mom would be like, don't leave your sister. And I'd be like, haha, you guys have to fucking take me cussing. There we go. And they were like, ugh. And then I would try to be like, see, I belong here. And then like within an hour I'm like, oh my God, it hurts. Why did you punch me? So, yeah, that would be so funny.
Tig Notaro
Like to see two grown men beating up their grown sister. Of course it wouldn't really be funny. That's how we cartoon.
Fortune Feimster
That's how we handle conflict.
Tig Notaro
Okay, go ahead.
Fortune Feimster
Oh gosh.
May Martin
Favorite, Favorite memories. The two that come to mind. I've probably said them before, but one is my parents went away on vacation somewhere and they left us alone. And it was the year that Phantom Menace came out. So what is that, 2,000, maybe? 99.
Allstate Ad Voice
Thomas.
Tig Notaro
Why would any of us know the.
May Martin
Year I looked directly at Thomas. 99. 99. So I was. Why can't I do this math? 12. I was 12.
Fortune Feimster
Okay.
May Martin
And my brother was 16, I guess. And my parents went away for like a. I thought. I swear I was younger than that. Anyway, they left Us alone for like, a week in the house.
Tig Notaro
Nobody's gonna fact check this.
May Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. By the way.
May Martin
And my parents were pretty permissive, but one of their. Two of their weird rules where you weren't allowed to watch wrestling. Oh, like wwf.
Fortune Feimster
Okay. Because it could lead to you guys.
May Martin
Beating the out of each other. And you weren't. We weren't allowed to have whipped cream from the can.
Tig Notaro
Those are your two rules.
Fortune Feimster
Everything else was fair game.
May Martin
Everything else was. Those were pretty much. Those were two big ones for your childhood. I don't know why those.
Fortune Feimster
Basically, when they cream Danger.
May Martin
I think they just decided, like, the can.
Tig Notaro
Like, you can't.
May Martin
And we couldn't have it in the house. They were just like, it's not real food. It's like, you know. But we ate tons of not real food. So, like, cheese whiz every day.
Tig Notaro
I know what happened.
May Martin
What?
Tig Notaro
Your mother loves it so much, she didn't want it in the house that.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, wow.
May Martin
100%. Oh, my dad.
Fortune Feimster
You didn't even have to pay for that.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. Sorry to make it sexist, but, like, somebody.
May Martin
You're right.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. Somebody was like, I have no controls because it's so weird.
Fortune Feimster
It's.
Tig Notaro
It's like no wrestling. And also none of those pinwheel lollipops.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
May Martin
We weren't gonna get that with whipped cream on top.
Tig Notaro
Not as bad in the house.
May Martin
One of them loved wrestling too much as well.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. Yeah.
May Martin
Anyway, my parents go away and. And as soon as the taxi pulled away to the airport.
Tig Notaro
Wrestling and whipped cream.
May Martin
We ran to the corner store, we got a can of whipped cream, came back, threw on the wrestling, and it was so joyful. And we had the funnest week, just the two of us. Us doing everything we weren't supposed to do and laughing. We went to see Phantom Menace. So disappointing. But that was great. And then also as an adult, he came to visit me in England. And I was just so glad that we made the time to do that. And we went on this walking tour of a cemetery. And my brother's like, a deep history buff and was asking such interesting questions. And to see him in public as an adult, like. And he was so confident, and everyone was fascinated by his questions. And I was just, like, seeing him through the world's eyes being, like, what a wonderful man. Then we were leaving, and we'd walked quite a ways, and he said, I'm so sorry. I have to go back quickly. And he went all the way back and went to our guide and went, thank you so much. That was a really interesting tour. I was. Thank you. He'd forgotten to thank the guide. He went all the way back to thank him.
Tig Notaro
That's so good.
May Martin
So those are two favorites.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
May Martin
What about you guys?
Fortune Feimster
I'm trying to think of something with us all together, but I can only think of individual ones. My brother Jay, when I lived in Spain, he and my mom came to visit. And that was cool, like, getting to, like. We traveled Spain and around Spain and France together for, like, three and a half weeks.
Tig Notaro
Whoa.
Fortune Feimster
And he and I were kind of like the mom and dad. And my mom was kind of the child. Like, she was like. She's like in the back seat going, look at. At those orange trees. I'm gonna go over there. Let's go pick up some rocks. And we're like, no. We're always like, no, just sit there.
Tig Notaro
Just sit there.
Fortune Feimster
No, just sit there. No. She's just like a child. Look at that. Look at that. Look at that. So that makes me laugh. We just. And we were staying in the, like, the. We cheapest places because we didn't have. You know, none of us were. Had much money. And the last night, he's like, I'm. I'm splurging. I'm getting us a nice hotel room. And we. It just.
Allstate Ad Voice
A lot.
Fortune Feimster
We just laughed a lot and had a good time. And then recently, he and I had kind of. We sometimes butt heads and had. Had been butting heads for a while and then finally let all that stuff go and. And had a weekend together at my mom's, like, a couple months ago, where it just felt like we were kids all over again. We had not spent that kind of time together as adults. We, like, went to topgolf and went to a movie and went to dinner. And I was just like, it's so nice to be having this kind of experience with my brother. Me in my mid-40s and him in his late-40s. And then my other brother is our oldest brother. He's seven years older than me, so he always kind of took on a dad role. And so we had. We used to wrestle a lot when we were kids.
Tig Notaro
With whipped cream.
Fortune Feimster
No whipped cream. But he. He was such a good guy. Like, he really tried to sort of make up where sometimes my parents lacked. And he went to college, like, two weeks after my parents divorced.
May Martin
Oh, man.
Fortune Feimster
And I was 12, and I'm losing my big brother, and my parents are divorcing, and I was just traumatized. Our dog died a couple weeks before that.
May Martin
You tend to do Things in like, in chunks. Yeah. Like everything.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
May Martin
I'm like pumped for you to get through this daily.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. And he, you know, my dad traveled a lot back then so Price would kind of be the one to teach me how to throw a softball or to play soccer with me in the yard. And so he was very dad like. So when he was at college I loved to go visit him. It felt so cool. His friends were so nice to me. Well, he is a 18 year old boy. I'll never forget this. Had his. He made all these wonderful friends who are women like platonically.
May Martin
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
And he would have them write me letters like in the mail, sending me letters when I would like saying like your brother said, you know, your parents are going through a divorce and you're going through a hard time and we just wanted to check on you and make sure you're okay and, and you know, come visit anytime. I would get these letters from his friends and because he asked them to help look out for me and I, that would always be a memory of, of him that I really cherish because I thought what 18 year old boy.
Tig Notaro
Yeah.
Fortune Feimster
Has that, you know, type of foresight and to be like, can you make sure my sister's okay?
Tig Notaro
That's really sweet.
Fortune Feimster
Which is so interesting because he is not an emotional guy. He's not a hugger. He's not. He does not talk about feelings things. So he, he had other facilitate to the women.
Tig Notaro
More into beating. Yeah.
May Martin
Yeah. Oh, that's so nice.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. And he and I used to play like mixed doubles together. Like sports were kind of our love language with each other and so. Yeah. But I, I definitely remember that. That fondly.
Tig Notaro
That's awesome.
May Martin
I love that. How about you?
Tig Notaro
Oh yeah. I mean and I have to say I've shared on here just how my brother is just like, I'm seeing such a different side of him.
May Martin
Oh yeah. Since he had this daughter.
Fortune Feimster
Yes.
Tig Notaro
He's married, he has his kids and I think my family's very into ribbing each other and all that kind of stuff.
May Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
It's just so fun to see. My brother is like a big guy. Like. Yeah. You know, this kind of guy collects whiskey.
May Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
You know, has a. Always has some smelly dog. Look, their dog isn't smelly, but his.
Fortune Feimster
Old dog was a little smelly.
Tig Notaro
No, the old dog is the one I'm thinking about. But anyway, you know, he, he's the Rolling Stones and whiskey and all that kind of his dog. And then just to see his wife reached out to me when their daughter, my niece, was turning one and asked me to come surprise my brother for her first birthday. And I would have to say that was one of the best experiences was my brother coming downstairs and I'm sitting there with his wife and kids, and he was like. He had just gotten out of the shower. You could tell he really could not comprehend what he was seeing, his reality. He's like, what? And then just really, you know, I was there when my niece was born, but to come back when she was turning one and to see my brother just loving getting her in her little dresses and putting bows in her hair and just, like, having. No, like, you know, no shame about.
Allstate Ad Voice
He's like.
Fortune Feimster
Like.
Tig Notaro
He's like, what? Yeah, this is her color. She looks great in lilac, you know, but.
May Martin
And looks great in lilac.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
May Martin
He was like, what, you think she doesn't look good in that?
Tig Notaro
This is her color.
May Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
And I'm like, but who are you? But, yeah, that was. I think one of the best experiences with my brother was seeing him not just as a father, but a father to a little girl.
May Martin
That's really sweet.
Tig Notaro
Yeah. I really still don't know who he is.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, I really don't.
Tig Notaro
Because probably, like, your older brother, like, if you saw him, like.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah, yeah.
Tig Notaro
You know, And I call her his little dolly.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
I was like, I didn't know you needed a little dolly all these years.
May Martin
That's all he needed.
Fortune Feimster
I do feel like my. That my brother would have been that way, too, had he had a girl. He has a boy, but I could see a girl would have brought out that side of him, too, I think.
May Martin
Yeah, it's.
Tig Notaro
It's really that whole idea of when you think you know someone.
May Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
I. I don't know if this is good or bad, but my friends used to always be like, I'm gonna have you meet this person I feel like you have a good take on. And I used to believe that about myself. Like, yeah, I can.
May Martin
I can read people.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
May Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
No, you can't. Like, you. People do curveballs and, like, become better people or then do horrendous things after decades of knowing them. And it's like, I give up. But on a positive twist, my brother really surprised me.
Fortune Feimster
I love that. That's great.
May Martin
Was. Would you get into trouble together growing up?
Tig Notaro
Like, were like, no, my brother was. So. I was. I handled all the trouble.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
May Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
I did all that. You know, my brother was straight edge. He made. He made good grades and was on all the sports teams, and I Was really lagging behind, struggling. Like, my brother believed in Santa Claus for so long, and I, like, brought him into my mother's closet and said, these are our Christmas presents.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, my God.
Tig Notaro
And he was like, tig. He was, like, sad and hurt. You know, this is my older big brother.
May Martin
You know, you're in your 30s, and.
Tig Notaro
I'm like, smoking going, look, that's yours. These are mine. There's no Santa, you know, so, no, I don't think we really got into trouble. Yeah, I handled all that.
May Martin
How do your brothers all feel about you doing comedy and stuff? Like, have they.
Fortune Feimster
Are they.
May Martin
Did they get it? Are they into it or they.
Tig Notaro
My brother listens to this show. He follows.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, shout out.
Tig Notaro
Shout out. But he. I think he follows just even comedy in general more than I do. But he's very into it. He's a huge Will Ferrell.
May Martin
More than you do is hilarious.
Fortune Feimster
Well, yeah, like, as far as watching other standups.
Michelle Obama
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Like, yeah.
May Martin
Yeah, that's nice.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. My brothers are into it, too. Every story, you know, I talk a lot about my family, so a lot of their friends come up to them because Feimster is obviously a very specific name. They're like, is that your sister and. Or people they don't know. And they're. They're always asking them if the stories are true. And the brothers are always like, it's very true. And so I think they get a kick out of the. Of hearing me retell something that they also have experienced.
May Martin
It's like you're canonizing the mythology of their childhood, too.
Fortune Feimster
Exactly. So I think they like that. And then, you know, they're boys, so, you know, we don't dig too deep that much. Yeah. And then every now and then, you know, my. Again, my oldest brother will be like, we are proud of you. I know we don't say it, but we are.
Tig Notaro
And we won't say it again.
Fortune Feimster
We won't say it again. Yeah. And I'll be like, oh. Because, you know, I. For whatever reason, as the youngest, I've. I don't know why this has fallen on my lap, but I've always kind of had to take care of things in my family, or at least for a while, maybe more financially, and. And just kind of some of my parents burdens have fallen on me. My mom's gonna be.
Sponsor Voice 1
How dare you?
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. I don't know how else to describe it. Yeah. And as far as fine, again, financial. And so I think I get sometimes into the, like, oh, like, why is this always my responsibility? And I think I occasionally feel not appreciated. And then my brother will be like, we appreciate you. I'm going to stop.
May Martin
Stop eating my pillow now.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah. Well, should we hear their answer?
May Martin
Oh, yes, please. Yeah.
Tig Notaro
Yes, please.
May Martin
Yes, please.
Craig Robinson
What's one of your favorite childhood memories?
Michelle Obama
My favorite childhood memory is we have been put to bed in our room. We have the paneling dividing that grandpa built and it's got a little space at the top. And I would throw the little, small square pillow that we had over the top and you would catch it and you would throw it back to me and we would have different kind of events. It had to be. It would. One would be the two hand catch, one would be the one hand catch, one would be the offhand catch. I still remember that to this day.
Craig Robinson
Yeah, we had some good times in that divider up room playing our games.
Michelle Obama
Well, what's, what's one of your favorite.
Craig Robinson
One of my favorite sibling memories is Christmas. Any Christmas morning. All right. Because you know, we live in a small apartment, but the anticipation of Christmas and Santa Claus coming and our mom used to deck the house out our little bitty apartment. She. I remember the time that she created a makeshift chimney. I remember corrugated paper that looked like a chimney and put it over our radiator because she and dad painted. Because our dad was an artist and he painted an oil, a clear fire and they put a light behind it to make it feel like we had a fireplace and a chimney that Santa Claus could come down. But you always got up first.
Michelle Obama
Always.
Craig Robinson
And you never went out to check for Santa, whether Santa had been there. Unless you woke me up and I was ready. And I would remember you saying, mish, Santa Claus has been here. And we'd go out there and start our Christmas.
Michelle Obama
Oh, so those are some great memory. Great memory.
Craig Robinson
Thanks, handsome.
Michelle Obama
See ya.
Tig Notaro
Thanks, Michelle and Craig.
May Martin
Thanks.
Fortune Feimster
I could listen to them tell stories all day long. Yeah.
May Martin
Christmas morning is a classic. It's always the kids up first.
Fortune Feimster
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
I remember one Christmas my brother and I decided to get up at like three in the morning.
May Martin
Yeah, of course.
Fortune Feimster
Still dark when you still believe.
May Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
I mean.
May Martin
And your parents still awake from the night before?
Tig Notaro
Yeah, passed out on the couch, trashed.
Fortune Feimster
What? That was so cool having Michelle and Craig ask a question.
May Martin
So cool. Thank you.
Fortune Feimster
She's incredible. Craig. I've started, you know, get to know through their podcast, but man, what a lady. Yeah. What a first lady.
May Martin
Yes, What a first lady.
Tig Notaro
Come back, back, please, please, please come back. If anybody's the president. Yeah. What a fun episode please. If you like this show or this episode, share it with a friend. Let's help build the Handsome community. Also, make sure to subscribe.
May Martin
Subscribe, rate, review, review.
Tig Notaro
All of that helps keep the show going.
May Martin
Check out handsomepod.com for cool new merch.
Fortune Feimster
Oh, the holidays are coming soon, so merch is a good present I would say.
May Martin
Yeah.
Tig Notaro
But also, oh go to tignotaro.com to find out where I'll be working out my what is my new show?
May Martin
Not my best.
Tig Notaro
Not my best. Oh my gosh.
May Martin
Yes. And you can go to maymartin.net I want to say for tickets to my my big tour next year I'm coming to 35 cities in North America. I really want to see you and hang out.
Tig Notaro
Yeah, those tickets will sell my friend.
Fortune Feimster
I guess. If we're going to websites go to.
Tig Notaro
IMDb and check out Star Meter Made Star Meter.
Fortune Feimster
You can go to my website force feature.com I am coming to Chicago and San Jose, Fresno, Charlotte, North Carolina, St. Petersburg, Florida and Orlando, Florida, Florida. And then for I would love for the Handsome fans to come join me on New Year's Eve in Seattle. I'm doing a New Year's Eve show and then Vancouver the night before that. And then a bunch of more a bunch of more dates in the.
Tig Notaro
Also make a note. November 14th, Apple TV come see me in the Good light, the Andrea Gibson and Megan Fowley documentary that I produced. So proud of of it. Until next time, keep it Handsome.
May Martin
Handsome is hosted by me, May Martin, Tig Notaro and Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willette. Email us@handsomepodgmail.com and please follow us on social media at Handsome Pod.
Fortune Feimster
What a podcast. Podcast.
May Martin
What a podcast.
Tig Notaro
That was a headgum podcast.
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May Martin
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Episode Title: Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson ask about siblings
Date: November 4, 2025
Hosts: Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, Mae Martin
Special Guests (Question Contributors): Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson
This laughter-filled episode of Handsome is all about siblings: the memories, the messiness, the love, and the surprises. The show’s three hosts—Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and Mae Martin—catch up after a long spell apart, share personal updates and stories, and enthusiastically field an on-air question from Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson, who bring warmth and nostalgia with their sibling inquiry.
Mae details a weeklong, tech-free therapy retreat, including mishaps (toad omens, smashing a “vase” [14:11]), grueling days, pillow-bashing, and raw emotional release.
Takeaways: Bonding with strangers, the universality of shame and complicated family feelings, learning to discern “what’s mine and what’s other people’s”, and the eternal pull of farm-fresh biscuits.
Memorable exchange:
Fortune discusses her fulfilling filming gig—appreciating the joy and camaraderie on set.
She opens up about family challenges, emotional vulnerability, and her mom’s health struggles: nine-hour airport delays, the toll of illness, and how comedy helps her compartmentalize.
Tig offers support, mentioning resources for families dealing with serious health issues and shares a comforting quote from Andrea Gibson’s documentary:
Michelle and Craig’s charming video question asks:
“What's one of your favorite childhood memories with a sibling?” [47:38]
Potential Sibling Podcasts:
Favorite Sibling Memories
On Family Support: Both Tig and Fortune reflect on their brothers’ reactions to their careers—accepting, supportive, proud in the “boyish” way.
The episode is honest, self-deprecating, and deeply warm. There’s a trademark blend of comedy, vulnerability, and genuine affection for family—both the ones you’re born into and the ones you find along the way. The hosts handle both the hysterical and the heartfelt, making this episode resonate with anyone who’s ever loved, or been exasperated by, a sibling.
For further info, ticket links, and merch, check out handsomepod.com or the hosts’ individual websites.